Episode 64 - Are Your Good Habits Quietly Stealing Your Peace

You wake up at 5 AM. You never miss a workout. You read every day. You say yes to every opportunity. People admire your discipline. You admire it too. But sometimes... it doesn't feel good. This episode is about something we don't talk about enough: what happens when the habits that make you proud quietly steal your peace. My wake-up call: Last Tuesday, I sat down with my five journals. Morning pages. Gratitude. Goals. Reflections. Book notes. I opened the first one. Stared at the blank page. Closed it. By the fifth journal, I just sat there. And for the first time in months, I asked myself a real question: "Am I doing this for peace? Or just to feel proud?" The answer scared me. In this episode, you'll discover:

• The hidden discomfort of "perfect" habits that quietly drain you
• Why performance without presence is just pressure
• How to tell if your habits serve you or own you
• The difference between habits that make you look better vs. feel better
• What happened when I softened my routines (and what came back)
• How to keep growing without the constant pressure

Key insights:

• Some habits make you look better. Others make you feel better. They're not always the same.
• Just because something is "good for you" doesn't mean it's good for you right now
• You don't need to break habits—just break the attachment to them
• Swap "always" for "sometimes," "perfect" for "enough," "more" for "meaningful"
• The point of good habits isn't to impress people—it's to make you feel good about being alive

What I did differently:

• Instead of five journals, I picked one—the one that felt right
• Instead of forcing a 5K run, I took a 10-minute walk
• Instead of "never eating sugar again," I said "not today" to that cookie
• Instead of waking at 5 AM forever, I slept until I felt rested. Just once.

What came back: Stillness. The kind of peace that doesn't need tracking. That doesn't post well on social media. That just feels like... life. Perfect for you if:

• Your "perfect" day leaves you feeling like a robot
• You're doing everything right but still feel tired, restless, anxious
• You need permission to soften your routines
• You're attached to habits that no longer serve you
• You want to grow gently, not grind relentlessly

Connections to previous episodes: This ties into "The Invisible Mistakes We Make" (giving time away), "Why I Almost Didn't Write This Book" (permission and pressure), and "When Pain Breaks You Open" (letting light in through the cracks). I still believe in 1% daily growth. But I'm learning there's a difference between consistent effort and constant pressure. One builds you up. The other wears you down. Tonight, before you plan tomorrow's perfect routine, ask yourself: "Will this add peace to my life? Or just polish to my image?" Topics covered: good habits, healthy habits burnout, productivity burnout, self-improvement trap, performance vs presence, gentle growth, rest and recovery, perfectionism, habit attachment, sustainable habits, mental health, peace over performance, 1% growth, bit by bit philosophy, self-compassion, mindful productivity

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Thanks for listening!

If this episode helped you, I'd love to stay connected.

About me: I'm a CA ranker (AIR 48), ultra-marathon runner, and author with 20 years of work experience.  I believe in getting better bit by bit—through daily journaling, honest reflection, and small actions.

Here's how we can work together:
📱 Download UPLY - Our app for daily growth and mindfulness
📚 Read my books & journals - Available on Amazon (search my name - Nishith Goyal)
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🎯 Join my workshops - I teach journaling, mental wellness, and the GATE concept

One bit at a time, we all get better.

See you in the next episode!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, welcome to be Better bit by bit. I'mlicioth.
I'm a chartered accountan by profession an ultra marathon runner,
a writer, and someone who believes deeply in the power
of small, consistent steps. This podcast is all about one
simple idea. You don't need to transform your life overnight.

(00:20):
You don't need to become a completely different person by
next Monday. You just need to get one percent better
bit by bit. I've built an app called Uply around
this philosophy. I've written books and journals about it, I
run workshops on it, and honestly I live it. But
here's what I'm learning. Sometimes even the philosophy of getting

(00:44):
better every day can become a trap. Sometimes the habits
that are supposed to help us quietly start to hurt us.
And that's what today's episode is about. If you've been
following this podcast, you know I talk a lot about
building good habits, about showing up consistently, about small daily

(01:05):
actions that compound over time. But today I want to
talk about the other side. What happens when those good
habits stop serving you. What happens when discipline starts to
feel like pressure, What happens when you're doing everything right,
but something still feels wrong. This is a conversation I've
been avoiding, but last Tuesday I couldn't avoid it anymore.

(01:29):
So let's talk about it. You wake up at five am,
you never miss a workout, You read every day, You
say yes to new opportunities, You push your limits even
at midnight. People admire your discipline. You admire it too.
It feels like success, it looks like growth, but sometime

(01:51):
it doesn't feel good. And today I want to talk
about something we don't discuss enough. What happens when the
habits that make you proud quietly steal your peace. There's
a kind of discomfort we don't talk about. It's not physical,
it's not burnout. It's quiet, invisible, deeper. It's the kind

(02:11):
of discomfort that whispers I'm doing everything I should, so
why am I still tired, restless, anxious. Here's the truth.
Some habits make you look better, others make you feel better,
and the two are not always the same. We were
taught to hustle harder, track everything, say yes to growth,

(02:33):
crush goals. But here's what I've learned. Performance without presence
is just pressure. Let me tell you what happened to me.
Last Tuesday. Evening, I sat down to write. I have
five different journals morning Pages, Gratitude, Journal, Goals, Journal reflections,
book notes. Five journals. That day. I opened the first one,

(02:54):
stared at the blank page, closed it open the second,
same thing. By the fifth journal, I just sat there
and for the first time in months, I asked myself
a real question. Am I doing this for peace or
just to feel proud? The answer scared me. Here's what

(03:14):
my perfect day looked like. Five am. Wake up. My
body ached, but I did it anyway. Morning run. My
legs were tired, but I pushed through healthy breakfast, calculated
every bite, stressed about every carb, work, said yes to

(03:35):
every meeting, every project, every opportunity, evening reading, forcing myself
through pages while my brain screamed for rest. People saw discipline.
I felt like a robot. Now, if you've been listening
to this podcast for a while, you know I believe

(03:55):
in small daily habits. I talk about one percent growth,
about showing up consistently, about building bit by bit, and
I still believe in all of that. But here's what
I'm learning. There's a difference between habits that serve you
and habits that own you. In my episode about the

(04:16):
invisible Mistakes we make, I talked about giving our time
away freely, saying yes to everything. But I didn't realize
I was also saying yes to my own habits without
questioning them. Just because something is good for you doesn't
mean it's good for you right now. So I did

(04:37):
something different. I didn't throw everything away. I just softened.
Instead of five journals, I picked one, the one that
felt right that day, not the one I should use,
the one I wanted to use. Instead of forcing a
five k run, I took a ten minute walk around

(04:58):
the block. Instead of of never eating sugar again, I
said not today to that cookie, not never, just not today.
Instead of waking up at five am forever, I slept
until I felt rested, just once, bit by a bit,
without the pressure, and something came back something I hadn't
felt in months. Stillness, not in my schedule, in my body,

(05:22):
in my mind, the kind of peace that doesn't need tracking,
that doesn't post well on social media, that just feels
like life. Look, I'm not saying abandon your habits. I'm
not saying stop growing, and I'm saying you can still improve.
Just gentler. Swap always for sometimes, swap perfect for enough,

(05:46):
swap more for meaningful. You don't need to break habits,
you just need to break the attachment to them. Remember
in my episode about grief, when I talked about pain
breaking us open, sometimes our good habits need to break
open too, not to destroy them, but to let the
light in, to let the peace in. Because right now

(06:10):
you might be so busy being disciplined that you've forgotten
to breathe that Here's what I want you to do tonight,
before you plan tomorrow's perfect routine, ask yourself one question.
Will this add peace to my life or just polish
my image. If it's just polish, maybe skip it. If

(06:32):
it's peace, do it slowly, gently, without pressure. Because the
point of good habits isn't to impress people, It's to
make you feel good about being alive. I'm still waking
up early most days, I'm still running, I'm still journaling,
but now there's space between the habit and the expectation.

(06:54):
Some morning I wake at five, Some mornings I don't,
and both are okay. Some days I write five pages,
some days I write five words, and both our growth.
This is what be better bid by bit really means
not grinding yourself down one percent every day, but giving

(07:15):
yourself permission to grow at the pace that feels right.
If you've been listening to my episodes about building up Lee,
about the ten lessons from Jagma about writing my book,
you know I believe in consistency, but I'm learning there's
a difference between consistent effort and constant pressure. One builds

(07:35):
you up, the other wears you down. So here's my invitation.
Look at your habits this week. The ones you're proud of,
the ones people admire, and ask are they serving me
or am I serving them? Do they bring peace or
just performance? Do they make me feel alive or just accomplished?
And if the answer makes you uncomfortable, that's okay. That

(07:59):
discome is information. You're allowed to rest, you're allowed to
skip a day, You're allowed to say not today. You're
allowed to be human, not a productivity machine. And honestly,
the world needs more of that. More people who choose
presence over performance, More people who soften instead of pushing,

(08:22):
More people who know when enough is enough, one gentle
step at a time, not because you have to because
you want to, because it brings you peace. Thanks for listening,
and if this hit home, go back and listen to
my episode about the invisible mistakes we make, about why
I almost didn't write my book, about when pain breaks

(08:44):
you open. Because they're all connected. All of them are
about being human, about giving yourself permission to be imperfect,
about choosing peace over polish, one bit at a time,
but gently this time, listening, keep getting better bit by bit,