Become Greater Ep. 56 - Taming Your Inner Critic

We all have that internal voice that can doubt, judge, and limit our potential – the Inner Critic. This episode takes a deep dive into understanding this pervasive voice: where it comes from, how it impacts our confidence, and why it often gets louder when we’re pushing our boundaries. Going beyond basic techniques, we explore practical, nuanced strategies to identify, challenge, and reframe negative self-talk. Discover how the disciplined pursuit of expanding your physical capabilities—building functional strength, power, and resilience—serves as a powerful, real-world training ground for taming your inner critic and cultivating a more supportive, empowering internal dialogue.Key Insights & Takeaways in This Episode:

• Understanding Your Inner Critic: Unpacking its common origins (often internalized external voices or misguided self-protection) and recognizing its significant impact on self-doubt and inaction.
• Identifying the Critic's Tactics: Learning to spot your inner critic’s signature phrases, common triggers, and how to distinguish its harshness from genuinely constructive self-correction.
• Physical Training as a Mental Forge: How the process of consistently pushing your physical limits—striving to expand your capabilities in strength, skill, and endurance—provides tangible, undeniable evidence to counter your inner critic’s doubts. Each physical gain helps you prove its negativity wrong.
• Advanced Strategies for Taming the Critic:
  • Personify and Distance: Creating mental space by giving your critic a name or distinct persona.
  • Fact-Check Relentlessly: Treating the critic's pronouncements as hypotheses to be tested against actual evidence, much like analyzing a training plateau.
  • Embrace Self-Compassion: Applying the same understanding and kindness to your mental struggles as you would to physical recovery in training.
  • Cognitive Reframing: Using techniques like the "Yes, And..." approach or constructive "What If?" questions to reshape negative narratives.
  • Focus on Effort & Process: Shifting your internal validation away from solely outcome-based measures (where the critic thrives) to valuing consistent effort and the journey of growth—a core tenet of effective training.
• Building Your "Inner Coach": Actively cultivating a supportive internal dialogue by recalling past successes (especially hard-won physical achievements), affirming your strengths, and speaking to yourself with the wisdom and encouragement of a trusted mentor.
• The Transferable Skill: Recognizing that managing your inner critic is a skill honed through practice, and the resilience built by choosing effort over giving up in your physical training directly strengthens your ability to foster a positive internal landscape.

This Week's Challenge:

1. Pay close attention to when your inner critic becomes most active this week.
2. Choose one new strategy discussed in this episode (like personifying the critic, fact-checking its claims, or practicing a specific reframing technique).
3. The next time that critical voice pipes up, consciously apply your chosen strategy and observe any shift, however small, in your internal state or your ability to proceed with your intended action.

Join the conversation! @joe_cebula

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Hello, and welcome back. Today, we're going to talk about
a companion that many of us have, one that's often loud,
frequently unhelpful, and could be a major barrier to expanding
our capabilities. I'm talking about the inner critic, that voice
in your head that doubts, judges, and sometimes screams that
you're not good enough. We'll explore where it comes from,

(00:34):
how it shows up, especially when we're pushing our limits
in the gym, and most importantly, how we can learn
to tame it and cultivate a more supportive, empowering internal dialogue. First,
let's be clear, if you have an inner critic, you're
not alone. It seems to be a near universal part
of the human experience. This voice isn't something that we're

(00:54):
born with. It's usually an echo and internalization of critical
voices we've encountered externally, perhaps from parents, teachers, peers, or
broader societal messages. Sometimes it even develops as a misguided
attempt at self protection, trying to keep us safe by
warning us away from potential failure or rejection. But its

(01:14):
methods are often harsh, and its impact can be deeply limiting,
eroding our confidence, fueling self doubt and keeping us from
even attempting things that could lead to incredible growth. So
how do you recognize your inner critic? It often has
signature phrases, maybe yours sounds like you're going to mess
this up, or you're not smart enough for this, or

(01:36):
even why bother, you'll probably fail. It tends to get
loudest right when you're about to step outside your comfort
zone or face a new challenge, or perhaps after you've
made a mistake. It's crucial to distinguish this voice from
constructive self correction. Helpful self assessment is usually specific, aimed
at learning, and delivered with a degree of kindness. The

(01:57):
inner critic, on the other hand, tends to be global, demeaning,
and focused on your perceived flaws as a person. Now,
for those of us dedicated to the constant pursuit of
expanding our physical capabilities, the inner critic can be a
very familiar and often unwelcome training partner. It's that voice
that rears its head when you're facing a particularly challenging workout,

(02:18):
a weight that feels impossibly heavy, or when you're trying
to master complex new movement. It whispers, you can't do this.
Many reps you're too weak, you're not coordinated enough for this,
or simply just give up. This is too hard. But
here's the profound insight your physical training. When approach with
the philosophy we champion here, that is focusing on genuinely

(02:40):
expanding your functional strength, your power, your coordination, your overall
work capacity, becomes an incredible laboratory for taming this inner critic.
Every single time you push through a set despite that
internal nagging, every time you achieve a small personal record
when that voice said you couldn't, every time you refine

(03:00):
a movement it claimed was beyond you, you're getting hard,
undeniable evidence against its pessimistic pronouncements. The progress you make,
the capabilities you develop are palpable. You can feel your
strength increase, your endurance improve. This visceral feedback is incredibly
powerful because it's not abstract. It's real, experienced in your

(03:23):
own body. It proves the critic isn't always right. We've
talked before about simple tools like the green dots to
introduce positive self talk. Today, let's go deeper into strategies
for actively taming that critic and building a more robust,
supportive inner voice. One powerful technique is to personify and
distance yourself from the critic. Instead of letting its voice

(03:47):
merge with your own sense of self, try giving it
a name, maybe something slightly ridiculous, like nervous Nelly or
doubting Derek. When those critical thoughts arise, you can then say, ah,
there's Nelly again with her usual worries. This simple act
creates a bit of a mental space, allowing you to
observe the critic's chitter chatter rather than automatically buying into it.

(04:08):
It helps you remember that its voice is not your
ultimate truth. Next, become a fact checker for your critic.
When it makes a negative, sweeping claim Gosh, I always
fail at new things. Treat that statement not as an
undeniable fact, but as a hypothesis to be tested. Ask yourself,
what's the actual evidence for this is one hundred percent

(04:31):
true without exception? Are there times I haven't failed at
new things? Are there alternative perspectives here? This is very
much like analyzing a plateau in your training. You don't
just assume you've hit a permanent wall. You look at
the data, your recovery, your nutrition, your technique. Try to
find the real story. Do the same with your critics claims.

(04:53):
Another vital antidote, especially when the critic is harsh after
a perceived mistake, is self compassion. It's not about making excuses.
It's about treating yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and
encouragement you'd offer a friend who is struggling. Physical training
teaches us the importance of listening to our bodies, respecting
the need for recovery, and being patient with the process

(05:17):
of adaptation. We need to apply that same compassionate patience
to our mental and emotional selves. When the inner critic attacks,
acknowledge the difficulty, acknowledge your effort, and then gently guide
yourself back to the path. Then there's a technique called
cognitive reframing. Instead of just trying to suppress the critics' negativity,

(05:39):
you learn to reshape it. One way is what some
call yes, and you acknowledge the flicker of truth and
the critics concern. Yes, this task is challenging and there's
a possibility I might not get it perfect on the
first try. And then you add a more empowering perspective
and I'm capable of learning, I'm committed to the effort,

(06:00):
and I'll gain valuable experience regardless of the immediate outcome.
Another way is to counter its negative what if scenarios
like what if I fail with constructive or positive ones,
what if I succeed? What if I succeed beyond my expectations?
What if this challenge helps me grow in ways I
can't yet see? And deeply connected to our training philosophy?

(06:23):
Always bring your focus back to the effort and the process,
not just the immediate outcome. The inner critic often thrives
on the fear of an imperfect result. But if your
primary definition of success in training and in life is
rooted in consistent, focused effort, in the discipline of showing
up and working to expand your capabilities, then the critic

(06:45):
has far less ammunition. Every training session where you gave
your best, where you focused on quality movement, where you
pushed your current boundaries is a win, regardless of whether
a new personal record was set that day. This mindset
stars the outcome based critic. As you practice taming the critic,

(07:06):
you also want to actively cultivate a more supportive inner dialogue.
Think of it as developing your inner coach or inner ally.
This means consciously planting positive, yet realistic thoughts deliberately affirm
your strengths, acknowledge your progress, no matter how small, and
remind yourself of your inherent resilience. Recall past successes, especially

(07:29):
those hard won victories in your physical training where you
overcame self doubt and pushed beyond what you thought possible.
Those memories are potent fuel. And finally, try speaking to
yourself internally with the voice of the best coach or mentor.
You can imagine someone wise, supportive, but also firm in

(07:49):
their belief in your potential as a coach. Myself, I
know the power of targeted, empowering feedback. What would that
ideal coach say to encourage you, to guide you, to
remind you of your capabilities Right now, start to offer
that kind of dialogue to yourself. Taming the inner critic
isn't about eliminating it entirely. That might not even be possible.

(08:13):
It's about changing your relationship with it, reducing its volume
and its power over you, and consciously choosing to listen
to and cultivate a more empowering internal voice. The strength, focus,
and resilience you build in the discipline pursuit of expanding
your physical capabilities provide an unparalleled training ground for these
vile mental skills. Each time you choose effort over quitting

(08:37):
in the gym, you're not just building muscle, you're building
the mental muscle to manage that inner critic. For my
challenge for you, choose just one of these strategy the
next time your inner critic pipes up. Try personifying it,
or fact checking its claim, or offering yourself genuine compassion.
Notice the shift, however small, You have more power over

(09:00):
that inner voice than you think. Thanks for tuning in.
Keep training that body, and keep training that mind. They're
more connected than you can imagine.