Inner Journey with Greg Friedman welcomes Regina LaFrance Shayla

Inner Journey with Greg Friedman welcomes the autor of SHAYLA, Regina LaFrance. Regina shares hope for others who have been molested and suffered from abuse. Passionate in her perseverance and resolve of this issue, Regina speaks to the realities of child sexual abuse—escalating at an alarming rate. Her intention for writing this book is to increase awareness, and her public outcry, to parents raising children; in her mission to identify when a child is in fear of speaking up. And to prevent the unthinkable from happening to our precious young and innocent.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hi, this is Greg Braden, Jack Canfield, Mariam Williamson, James
Van Praud.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hi, everyone, this is Neil Donald Walsh and I'm happy
to tell you that you're listening to Inner Journey with
Greg Friedman. Stick around. Your life will change any minute.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
All right, you heard the man. You are listening to
Inner Journey with Greg Friedman on k x F M
one O four seven broadcast from Laguna Beach for Laguna
Beach and for the entire world. And you all know
the gig sex Relationships, Dream Interpretation. We talk about it

(00:44):
all and we don't tell you what to do, and
we don't tell you how to do it. And there's
a really simple reason for that. It's not our freaking lives.
It's your life, which means it's your choice, that your happiness,
it's your power, it's your love. How do you care
to spend it? How do you care to receive it?

(01:06):
Because ultimately we do one thing and one thing alone,
and that's to help you understand you are the magic
and we just get to help you realize it. And
we'll be back right after this.

Speaker 4 (01:46):
Tell are you.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
The one last how father under the dream?

Speaker 4 (01:56):
Daniel?

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Tell me this can be there? A not him means
in the project.

Speaker 5 (02:04):
Ain't nothing in a jodo nothing project, ain't not in
the project.

Speaker 6 (02:13):
Mamoset me Dallas.

Speaker 5 (02:14):
And baby said, that's not things.

Speaker 6 (02:22):
And food.

Speaker 5 (02:23):
I was seeing how Chimney will be in the morning.
You'll see, HOLLI bread, I are that they're paying to
read the project and not a d nothing the project, not.

Speaker 6 (02:42):
No nom drown.

Speaker 7 (02:57):
I see it.

Speaker 5 (03:00):
On the second.

Speaker 4 (03:07):
You Jimney.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
Social media is in her journey with Greg Friedman and
the website's Greg Friedman dot com. And you are listening
to k x f M one oh four point seven,
I'm gonna tell you we have a guest that will
blow your doors off tonight. Her name is Regina LaFrance

(03:52):
and she's written a book called Sheila Uh. We are
going to dive deep into that and along the lines.
I don't know if I ever shared this with you,
but one of my first primary directives on this planet
is do what needs to be done to care for
the children. And I look around this world and I

(04:15):
see everything coming to a head, so many children being
murdered under the name of war or defense or whatever
you want to call it. And I don't give a
flying what you call it because at the end of
the day, it's one thing, and one thing alone. It's
children being murdered. And I'm not going to argue which

(04:40):
side's right, which side's wrong. I'm going to tell you this,
under no circumstances, is that, Okay, in along those same lines,
the ways that children are being abused over and over
and over by the uber rich and the uber poor

(05:03):
and everything in between is disgusting and deplorable, and it
is our as far as I'm concerned, this is just
my perspective, it is our absolute imperative to stand up
in the face of that and make sure these children

(05:27):
are fostered to grow, to flourish, to blossom, not through
the trauma and the drama and the physical and mental
abuse that is all too prevalent these days, but simply
because they're beautiful and they're amazing, and so are you.

(05:52):
And the more we remember that, the more we remember
to offer love, the more we remember to receive love,
the more this becomes a non issue. And we're gonna
take a short break and when we come back, we
are going to be hanging out with Regidon la France.

Speaker 5 (06:27):
On the line by the side of the road with
the lines rolling by blue see from the weight of
the load, and the buildings green the sky, call on
lee on the body of the don and the morning
paper flyer dim and line by the side of the

(06:50):
road with the daylight is our storm. Let it breathe
down its side. Castles by. Find someone's turning and you.

Speaker 4 (07:04):
Will come on.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
B nt you the lad of the night where.

Speaker 4 (07:22):
The downside is heard.

Speaker 5 (07:26):
Come on down to the river side and you can.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
Be on the stairs.

Speaker 5 (07:33):
Then minds gasha, go the in the window and can
hear the silence.

Speaker 6 (07:40):
W line in the garden, in the lane.

Speaker 5 (07:43):
Then you're walking all along.

Speaker 4 (07:46):
Go and bring you down so your castle start.

Speaker 5 (07:52):
Find someone's turning you welcome. Don't let it bring you down.

(08:13):
It's slason spun.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Fine, so sturdy.

Speaker 4 (08:35):
Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible.

Speaker 8 (08:41):
Instead, only try to realize the truth.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
What truth?

Speaker 9 (08:47):
There is no spoon, There is no spoon.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Then you'll see this is not the spoon that bends,
It is only yourself.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
Welcome back. You are listening to Inner Journey with Greg
Friedman on k xf M one O four seven broadcast
from Laguna Beach, California. For Laguna Beach California and for
the entire world. Our guest tonight is Regina la France.

(09:20):
And I could tell you all kinds of things about
her history, her past, and parts of that were going
to get into However, I would say this, Regina is
one of those people that said, I there's a story

(09:42):
about a donkey that got stuck in a pit, and
nobody knew what to do, so they were just going
to bury it, and they kept pouring shovelful and shovelful
out of dirt. Now a lot of donkeys would be
buried under there, and other people would use that as
stepping stones, and they as the dirt came up, so

(10:03):
did they And they rose and they rose, and they
refused to be buried. Regina has not only refused to
be buried, but she has taken her experiences and she
has turned them into love, and she has turned them
into a cause. And she has done that most recently
in a beautiful book that got me teary eyed, infuriated, shaking,

(10:30):
and livid and so many other different emotions. The book
is called Sheila and Regina, Welcome to Inner Journey.

Speaker 10 (10:40):
Thank you, thank you for having me.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
You know, it's really a pleasure. I was highly affected
by your book. And you know, I read books all
the time for this program and for myself, and I
don't know if I've been as angry reading a book
as I have reading this one. And we'll explain what
I mean if you stick around. When you stick around,

(11:04):
and in the interim, I'm going to start with my
first question that I ask every single guest. We've had
everybody and their cousin on. We've had Mary Anne Williams,
and we've had Greg Braiden, Don Miguel Rui's authors, artist, shaman,
medicine man, and to a person, there was an event
or series of events that really thrust them onto a

(11:25):
significant aspect of their journey. Everybody's got a story. You
wrote a book, Your book is called Sheila. What was
the thing that inspired you to actually what was the catalyst?
What was the thing that said, I can't not write
this book. I have to get this out, I have

(11:45):
to publish it. Was it for yourself? Was it for
other people? Was it for both? Help me understand when
that moment was and what that was like for you.

Speaker 10 (11:57):
When I begun writing my book, was my intent was
to help children, It was to be the Voice for Children,
and I sat down and I wrote my book, and
then I realized that my and a child was still heartened.

(12:18):
I realized that my mentality was still of a young
lady's mind a twelve year old birthday. I was trapped
in a fifty five year old body with the mind
of a child because I never developed my maturity through
my teenage years. So one example is my marriage was

(12:44):
on the rocks. I was always very emotional. I didn't
have boundaries. My husband was frustrated with me. Everything he
said I would take personal. I would cry, I would
try to defend myself. Nothing very serious. It could be
that he told me that my car was dirty, that

(13:05):
I needed to wash my car, a simple comment, but
I would try to tell him I've been busy, oh
it's too cold, or I didn't have time. And I
never really addressed why it bothered me so much that
he would tell me my car was dooty. I was
an overachiever in so many ways, but not within my

(13:25):
personal feelings and my emotions were always mixed and sending
different messages to my husband, and it got to a
point where we couldn't have a conversation without me always
trying to defend myself and speak over him. So I
decided in twenty twenty three last year, I decided that

(13:50):
if the lesson keeps showing up, I haven't learned the lesson.
And the lesson for me was to not take things
so personal and not be so upset over comments. And
I'm using my husband as an example because I live
with him and it was an everyday thing. So I
decided to listen more and speak less and not become

(14:15):
so defense of all the time. And I started listening
to I am worthy, I am enough, I am wonderful.
And it was difficult because I stood in front of
the mirror and I spoke to the girl that I
saw in the mirror. And it's not easy to be
fifty five years old and try to change the brain

(14:40):
or the way of thinking, the self doubt and the
image that I had in my mind of myself. But
after doing that for a while, and after working through
the situations that were very upsetting to me, I began
to understand that that if I became more compassion to myself,

(15:04):
if I became more in tune with how I was
reacting to my husband's comments, that I began to understand
that possibly it was me, it wasn't him picking on
me because the cow was duty or whatever. And I
decided to take a step further and reach deep in

(15:30):
my soul for that in a child that was still hurting,
and I started nurturing myself and my husband started to
realize that I was a powerful woman, that I had
a lot more to offer than he ever saw in me.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
Did you do this for you? Did you do this
for him? Did you do this for the marriage? What
was your impetus?

Speaker 10 (15:53):
Well, at first I did it for the marriage. I said, Oh,
I'm going to just be quiet and not staying into
what happens. But that's also not a good solution. And
I then when I started going to the mirror, speaking
to the person that I saw in the mirror, I
realized that I didn't like myself. I didn't like to
look at myself. I didn't like my faith, and I

(16:16):
didn't like who I was. And I began doing it
for me, and I begun doing things that I truly
truly enjoy, like possibly growing a garden or creating a
new recipe, or being more comfortable with looking at myself.

(16:41):
And when I started doing that, I started actually liking
who I was, and my husband started noticing how much
more enjoyable I was. And that's the time, possibly six
months to a year later, that I became this person

(17:02):
of peace, this person that enjoys things and takes the
time to grow the garden and to make that new
recipe and to send.

Speaker 3 (17:13):
That's a big leap. So what were the steps in
between there? How did you begin and how did you
stay disciplined into the development of your own self love.

Speaker 10 (17:26):
I started journaling, and I started making goals for myself,
like six months goals or one year goals, or maybe
even just three weeks goals. And I wanted to learn
that lesson. I wanted to learn to feel confident and
create boundaries from a very good place in my heart,

(17:49):
not a place of anger, but a place of love
and a place of compassion. And I decided and I discovered,
actually I discovered this, and then I decided that I
have love who I am.

Speaker 3 (18:02):
Yes, I understand that. However, what's going on is those
old patterns are deeply ingrained, and they're very They're neural
pathways that are set. How did you because you don't
just one day say I'm going to change it and
it changes. Well, you can. But that's the exception, not
the rule. It's what was the process that you went

(18:24):
through that stayed consistent and disciplined enough to manifest that shift.

Speaker 10 (18:30):
Every single night when I went to sleep, when I
went to bed, I played a videos over and over
and over from YouTube about changing the way that I
think we program in my brain to believe that I
can doctor Joe. The Stenzer videos were the number one

(18:54):
tool that I used last year and the year before
that to bring me to the place of confidence.

Speaker 3 (19:02):
And so you'd listen to these and then you'd bit
by bit by bit see shifts and would you see
incremental shifts as you were doing this, and if so,
what did.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
They look like?

Speaker 10 (19:14):
They looked amazing and rejuvenating. These increments were giving me
that clear vision that it is possible to change. When
I was eighteen years old, I learned to speak a
new language. I didn't speak a word of English at eighteen,
So I compare it to learning another language. You move

(19:36):
to another country, you have to learn another language to
survive and to do well in life and to have
a job and be a successful person. So I associated
my new way of thinking and the way that I
think about myself and reprogram my brain to think that
I am wonderful, that I am worthy us learning and

(20:00):
language I love. It's actually more more difficult than learning
English because the triggers. The triggers are always there, and
the triggers arrive when you least expected. It could be
a rainy day. It's to be that someone made their
root comment. It could be that you have a thought,

(20:22):
or you smell something that brings that trigger, or if
someone says something that they don't mean it, but you
hear it and you feel it. And now I hear it,
but I immediately go write into It's not me, it's
the comment, and I don't need to I don't need
to jump on that comment because it doesn't affect me.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
Now, do you remember a time when you were triggered
by a stranger and what that that stranger's comment was
and what your reaction was when in the old days, Yes,
I remember several.

Speaker 10 (20:59):
When I moved to North Carolina in twenty eighteen, I
started a new job here and where I live now,
and I came from Boston. I lived in Boston thirty
seven years. A very fast paced lifestyle and we are
very outspoken in Boston and we just say it, We

(21:22):
just opinionated, and we say it like it is. So
when I arrived here and I got a job here
in North Carolina, people here are more calm and more humble,
and they don't accept very well a person that has
a strong personality. And at this job, they would make comments,

(21:43):
you're not in Kansas anymore, or you're here now, you
have to change your ways and that that used to
infuriate me because I was not free to speak, and
it brought me triggers from when an the past when
I wanted to speak, but every time I did, it

(22:04):
was always making noise and not people never heard me.
They just hurt noise.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
And then how did you go? And I'm not sure
whether it's appropriate or inappropriate to be cool when somebody's
telling you you got to be less direct or telling
you how to speak. However, that being said, how did
you go from there to not being triggered? And what
did that look like?

Speaker 10 (22:32):
Well? I learned. I listened to a lot of videos,
like I said, and I learned that if someone makes
a comment there and you don't respond, that's a response.
You don't engage and you don't let those comments affect you,
because now you've developed this maturity and this ways of

(22:58):
just protecting your being and if you want to stay
at peace and if you want to live a peaceful life,
you just go ahead and tell yourself that if they
make those comments, you don't.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
Need to respond, Okay. And so I hear you, I'm
not sure whether I agree with you or not. Do
you need to respond?

Speaker 9 (23:24):
No?

Speaker 3 (23:25):
Is it appropriate to respond? At times?

Speaker 1 (23:27):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (23:28):
At times no? Is it appropriate to react? I would
say no, never. And it's the idea, is that, so
if somebody's telling you how to be or telling you
how you should talk or shouldn't talk, why should they
have that domain over you?

Speaker 10 (23:46):
Well, they believe they they believe that they have that right.
And my way of thinking now is that I don't
have to explain to them why I.

Speaker 3 (23:58):
Am or I am not a that I agree with entirely.
There is no need to substantiate or justify or do
or explain yourself. I believe in communication, not substantiation, and
that we're on the same page with entirely.

Speaker 10 (24:17):
Now, if I hear a comment or if someone is
either rude or someone says something that doesn't serve me,
in any way if I feel that it's necessary. Now,
I have no problem saying that doesn't that comment doesn't
require a response for me.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
I'm not.

Speaker 10 (24:40):
It doesn't serve me in any way. So I'm not
sure where you want to go with this conversation, but I'm.

Speaker 3 (24:46):
Out, okay, fair enough.

Speaker 10 (24:52):
And believe it or not, that's how my marriage changed.

Speaker 3 (24:55):
Tell me more about that, please.

Speaker 10 (24:58):
My Let's just say my husband. He he's a military guy.
He was in the military for thirty years and he
was a firefighter for thirty three years in Boston.

Speaker 9 (25:10):
So he.

Speaker 10 (25:13):
Is very outspoken and aggressive and very disciplined and very military,
very stoic and and and it's it's one way. He
only he's black or white. So now if he makes
any comment, if it's a comment that it's just I
call it stupid comments. I look at him and I

(25:34):
just gave me a kiss, and I use humor to
just not even engage in that comment. And I'm I'm
I'm happy with that. I'm happy with that.

Speaker 8 (25:48):
I have.

Speaker 10 (25:49):
I have control, like created some boundaries that are just wonderful,
and it's it's it's all in fun. I we use
humor and every once in a while and he'll say something,
and then he'll look and say, oh, that's right, you're
not going to engage, and like, no, I'm not because
it doesn't make any sense and it's not relevant. But

(26:10):
before I would be, I would be upset for any
stupid little reason.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
Okay, I don't know what else to say to that,
because there are so many things I agree with and
so many things that I disagree in that it's that, Yes,
is it appropriate not to engage? Absolutely, the only way
to lose a battle is to engage in a battle. Yes. However,
that doesn't mean that, in my estimation, that it's appropriate

(26:44):
to just subjugate yourself, to be quiet and to hold
it in. And I'm not sure where you go with that,
or how healthy that is or how you express that
in a way that's appropriate instead of repression.

Speaker 2 (27:00):
I don't.

Speaker 10 (27:00):
I don't hold it in. I say what I mean
with with a soft spoken.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
Voice and with confidence that's dramatically different than just saying
give me a kiss. That's well.

Speaker 10 (27:14):
If I see that the conversation could turn out any moment,
I will say that is just use humor for the moment,
and if it's a serious, a serious conversation that we
possibly could get into an argument. That's when I say,
give me a kiss and we'll discuss this another time
when we're not emotionally charge. I get it motivated.

Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yes, So do you wind up discussing it another time if.

Speaker 10 (27:47):
It's important, yes, But most of the times it's not
even important, we'll both forget about it.

Speaker 3 (27:52):
That's an interesting perspective because the things that we often
feel are so vital to address attack when resolve in
that moment, when we take a step back and we
get perspective, we find out it's just not that important.
And that's what I hear you saying.

Speaker 10 (28:12):
Yes. Yes, So if it's something important, if it's because
the carnates to be washed, that's not relevant and we're
not we don't need to talk about this again. If
it's a serious issue, then of course we're going to
talk about it later when we're not talking to.

Speaker 3 (28:26):
Absolutely all right, we're going to get into the book,
and I'm doing that with you because this book is incredibly,
incredibly well written, and it brings us into the vibrational feelings,

(28:47):
the empathy of a small child and the things that
she had to endure. So let me start by asking
you this who or what was Sheila?

Speaker 10 (29:06):
Sheela was an angel, She was a butterfly. She was
her nickname was Lady Bagua. When she was little, her
father loved her so much, and she loved her father,
and she worked in a farm with her father for
all for since she was little to the age of
ninety years old. She was always outside with her father

(29:29):
and she loved him so much, and he always encouraged
her to be a good girl, and he taught her
everything he knew about caring for the land.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
She was just a.

Speaker 10 (29:42):
Energetic, intelligent, witty, just a beautiful child.

Speaker 2 (29:49):
And she.

Speaker 10 (29:54):
Was very active. She always wanted to be everywhere and
do everything. And she wanted to cook her own meals
and grow her own vegetables and do her things very independent.
And her parents thought that it would be wonderful too
for her to learn music.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
Not yet, because who was Sheila?

Speaker 10 (30:21):
Who was Sheila? She was a child? The child.

Speaker 7 (30:32):
She was me Ah?

Speaker 3 (30:35):
Say that again, please, Shaelah was me? Yes? And why
did you feel like you needed to change your name?

Speaker 10 (30:51):
Well, at first I didn't want anyone to know that
was me? Why because I was shame fall and I
didn't want anyone.

Speaker 3 (31:02):
To know that that had happened to me, And you're
not the only one that feels that way. And that's
why to me, it's so important that people know you
are Sheila. Regina is Sheela, and Sheila's Regina, and there's
no shame in that at all. You were a little

(31:25):
girl in a small rural farm town, yes, yes, from
what area was that?

Speaker 7 (31:34):
It was an island in Portugal, an island in Portugal
and an island, and you grew up in a house
that was very simple in its elegance, meaning that your
father was a very hard worker. He'd go out and
he'd farm and he'd work the land, and he was

(31:56):
proud to show his daughter what to do and how
to work with nature and how to relate to the earth.

Speaker 3 (32:03):
Is that correct?

Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (32:05):
And who is your mother?

Speaker 10 (32:08):
My mother was a stay at home mom, of course,
and she cooked meals and her her duty was to
go door to door and sell the vegetables that my
father grew and.

Speaker 3 (32:28):
No, you please, I was going to say.

Speaker 10 (32:31):
And her job was to ensure that meals were made
and the house was cleaned and that and that was it.

Speaker 3 (32:40):
She took care of us and what was important to her.

Speaker 10 (32:44):
It was important to her that I, myself and my sister,
that we were good girls, that we did well in school,
and that we knew right from wrong.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
And that.

Speaker 10 (33:00):
That we were protected.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
And tell me that phrase, because I can't tell you
how many times I've worked with people and the biggest
issue that they have is they have deeply ingrained in
them that they're supposed to be a good girl or
a good boy. Right, how did that affect your life
being a good girl?

Speaker 10 (33:24):
Well, it affected my life because when things began to
happen and I started experiencing a lot of stress. The
music lessons. I was told by my abuse it that
if I told my parents, they would no longer think
I was think that I was a good girl.

Speaker 3 (33:47):
Okay, stop there for a second. I want you to
hear what you just said. You were told by your
abusive dad. Is what you just said, and I don't
think that's what well my abuse.

Speaker 10 (34:01):
I was told by my abuser that my dad would
never believe me. And I was told by my abuser
that if I told my parents they were not they
were no longer believe I was a good girl. They
would believe I was a bad girl.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
And the things that were important to your mom, if
I read correctly, were family including the children, including being
a good wife and a good mother, and music and
also Catholicism. Is that correct?

Speaker 10 (34:39):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (34:41):
And so as a result of that, I'm going to
tell you, guys listening, if you read the first three
paragraphs of Regina's book, Sheila, you will it reads like
a murder mystery novel right away. You draw us into

(35:04):
the story, You draw us into the empathy of what
it was like for you in that age, in that place,
and that way you chose set and setting was both
terrifying and infuriating, and I can't even imagine. Can you

(35:25):
go back to that place? I don't want you to
go back to that place? But do you understand did
were you able to go back that viscerally? That you
were carrying that around thirty forty fifty years later and
you were able to recreate that?

Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (35:41):
What was that like? Carrying that for so long?

Speaker 10 (35:45):
Carrying it for so long? It was all I knew.
I didn't know any difference, So I just I just
forgot about it and went about my business. And I
never wanted anyone to know, because because I was so shameful,
I felt ugly and not worthy of love and unattractive

(36:11):
and stupid, and I had a scar on my face.
I still have the scar on my face. That that
happened that first in the first page of the first
chapter of the book. It happened that night that I
was I got a cut on my face, and that
scar is still there. And every time I looked in

(36:34):
the mirror, that's what I saw. I saw the scar,
and I hated it.

Speaker 3 (36:39):
And that first night, that disgustable, disgusting, scummy, deplorable excuse
for a human being not only abused you physically, yes,
but then he made you go into a cemetery with him, Yes,

(37:02):
And what did he make you do there?

Speaker 10 (37:06):
He he When we arrived there, he asked me to
go to the cemetery shed and grab a shovel that
was there, and he told me to where to go,
and he told me to dig a hole there.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
And then.

Speaker 10 (37:26):
He early in that day, a woman from the village
had performed an abortion on me out their kitchen table,
and I had a lot of pain. So he he
told me to undressed from the waist down and squat
over the hole that he made me dig. And he
had put the box inside the hole that I was carrying,

(37:51):
and he told me the squat inside the hole, I
mean too, a squat and push and when I did that,
I felt something just rush out of my body into
that box. And then he threw the cover of the
box on it and pointed the flashlight to it, and

(38:13):
then from there he said, now cover the hole. So
I started putting the dirt over the box and started
to cover the hole. And I was crying a lot
and screaming, and you told me to be quiet, and
I told him that I hated him, and I sat

(38:34):
at him, and that's when he slapped me, and then
I fell over the edge of the shovel and that's
where I cut my face.

Speaker 3 (38:45):
I read that and I wanted to hurt him. And
I hear you talking now, and it's not pretty. It's
not nice to have I feel, but I want to
hurt him.

Speaker 2 (39:02):
I know, I just.

Speaker 3 (39:06):
Go ahead. I'm sorry.

Speaker 10 (39:07):
He was smoking a cigarette and then he threw the
cigarette butt on top of the box, and that's when
I said I hate you and I cursed you, and
that's when he slapped me and I fell. And then
from there he told me to get up and finish
covering the hole, and then after that, he told me

(39:30):
to go back in the shed and put the shovel back,
and then he gave me a towel and told me
to clean up myself, and then we went back to
the car, and then I thought he was going to
drive me home, but he didn't. He drove me back
to his mother's house, and she cared for me and

(39:53):
she nurtured me, and she told me she promised me
that he would never ever ever hurt me again. And
about a week or so later, she told me that
I was going to go home because I had gone
to their house to help her during the summertime, and

(40:13):
she told me she promised me that that would never
ever happen again. And then when before he drove me
to my parents' house, he told me that I had
a really bad dream and that I would no longer
have any more bad dreams, and he said that he
would tell my father that I was a really good
girl and that that I would be okay. And I

(40:38):
went back to the house and my dad was so
happy to see me, and then he asked me if
I was a good girl, and I told him yes,
I was, And my mom was so happy to see me,
and it was an uncommon for people to let their
young daughters go over to someone's house. Was a senior

(41:01):
who's an elderly person that needed help. And from that
time on I was not the same anymore. I never
really wanted to farm with my father, and I was
very sad all the time, and I didn't want to
wash myself or do anything. I'll go to church anymore.

(41:24):
It was always a battle and a struggle, and then
when I became a teenager.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
Hold that thought. I want to believe it or not.
We have gone through our first hour, and before we
break for this first, I want to thank you for
the courage to have experienced in the first place. I
want to thank you for the courage to have written
this book so that other people know they're not alone

(41:52):
in this. And I want to thank you for the
courage of sharing it over the airwaves. It's not easy
and it's absolutely stunningly beautiful. And we are here with
Regina la France. Her book is called Sheila, and we
are going to hear about her story and the book

(42:16):
on the other side. Just thank you.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
Let's got show it. Then, let's not news. So the
man who says.

Speaker 10 (43:08):
And it still is new.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
Mama me had, hop of me have. God bless the
child that's.

Speaker 11 (43:24):
Got his own will, that's got his own.

Speaker 1 (43:38):
The strong seemed to get more, while the weak one
s fay empty pockets. Don ever made.

Speaker 10 (43:53):
The greed.

Speaker 1 (43:57):
Because Mama me had and top of me. God bless
the child that God is old, that's got his own.

Speaker 6 (44:22):
And when you've got money, you got a lot of friends.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
The crowded around you do.

Speaker 6 (44:35):
When the money is gone and all.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
Your spelling end, you won't be around letting more, no,
no no. And rich relations may give you crust of
bread and search. You can help yourself, but don't take

(45:05):
to bum on me head.

Speaker 8 (45:13):
And on me.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
God bless the child that's got his own, let's got
his old general. Where you've got money, you got lots

(46:47):
of foods. Then is all you do. But wait a minute,
a mon ass, you won't be many more.

Speaker 9 (47:06):
No no.

Speaker 1 (47:10):
Rich relations may give you custard, bread and search. You
can help yourself, but don't take too Mama me and

(47:33):
Papa me.

Speaker 9 (47:34):
He.

Speaker 1 (47:37):
God bless the child who can stand up and say.

Speaker 11 (47:45):
I got my ost behave.

Speaker 9 (48:11):
K x r N LP Laguna Noguel Laguna beach k
x FM on one oh four point sent KXFM Radio
dot org.

Speaker 7 (48:21):
This disclaimer is a statement notifying listening audiences that any
opinions expressed on our shows are not representative of Laguna Radio, Inc.

Speaker 3 (48:27):
Its management, or its board of directors. My name is
Greg Friedman. I am a modern version of those that
have existed in every culture. I am a guide. For years,
I have taken people all over the world to work
with indigenous elders in exotic locations only to show you
that you are the magic, and we just help you

(48:49):
realize it.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
It could be.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
Terrifying to look at our fears, and sometimes even more
so to look at our strangers. I take you out
into the wild, into the unknown foreign Inner Journey, who

(49:16):
wellcome back. You are listening to Inner Journey with Greg
Friedman on k x f M one O four seven,
broadcast from Luguna Beach, California. For Luguna Beach, California and
for the rest of the world and social media is
Inner Journey with Greg Friedman, and the website is Gregfriedman

(49:40):
dot com. All right, y'all, if you did not listen
to the last hour, please go back and listen, because
it is rare that there is a guest that has
shows this kind of courage, this kind of vulnerability, this
kind of transparency, and this kind of intimacy. Our guest

(50:04):
this evening is Regina la France and her book is
called Sheila Regina, Welcome back. Thank you do me favor
if it's not too hard to do, if you don't mind,
can you get us back up to speed and remind
us who remind the listeners who Sheila is?

Speaker 10 (50:31):
Sheila is me?

Speaker 3 (50:34):
Wow, you said that so differently than you said that
the first time you said that gorgeously. There was a
strength and a claiming of it and an unabashed, unashamed
just I am who I am, and that in and
of itself was gorgeous. Thank you, And I really loath

(50:56):
to ask you to do this, however, just to get
everybody up to speed, will you very briefly help me
and help our listeners understand the beginning of what you experienced.
Until you were you know what was going on, and
I don't need you to dive deeply into it right now,

(51:16):
but just the just the basics of it, if you
don't mind, and if you do, please let me know.
I don't want you to do something that's inappropriate, I
can explain.

Speaker 10 (51:29):
I am okay. I'd like to explain because it helps
me bring life to others that, like myself, had child
trauma happen in their lives. And my reason is to
inspire those that are still hurten like I was, to
have hoped that they too can achieve the emotional freedom

(51:51):
that I have now.

Speaker 3 (51:54):
And so what happened to you? From a very young age?

Speaker 10 (51:59):
I was violated sexually, emotionally and physically. I was hurt very,
very badly. My voice was taken away, and I went
from feeling like I was a ladybug from the age
of six to nine to feeling like I was a cockroach,
which is what my abuser called me, a cockroach for thirty,

(52:25):
thirty or forty years now.

Speaker 3 (52:28):
He not only was somebody that was known in the community,
he was somebody that was really well respected. Correct, Yes,
who was he?

Speaker 10 (52:40):
He was the priest for our village. He was the
priest of the people. He was loved by all people.

Speaker 3 (52:49):
And he not only abused you horribly, but then his mother,
his own mother, was complicit and helping him commit this abuse.
Isn't that correct?

Speaker 10 (53:03):
His mother covered for him, she handled the situation too,
possibly in fear of shaming her own family.

Speaker 3 (53:13):
Wow. And so when we left off, you had gone
back from the abuser and started to integrate into your family.
But it was almost as though, I don't know, and
I don't want to put words in your mouth. It
was almost as though you weren't the same young lady anymore.

(53:34):
It wasn't you weren't the same ladybug of a child
that you always were.

Speaker 10 (53:40):
What happened, correct, I was not the same. I turned
out to be a very defiant young lady. I was rebellious,
and even though I made it through high school, I
did not obey my father or my mother, and I
did not like the house rules. I didn't want to

(54:00):
go to church anymore. And my father didn't know what
to do anymore, and he was I was an embarrassment
to him, and he didn't talk to me anymore. And
when I was eighteen, maybe seventeen, he went to the
priest and consulted with a priest on what to do
with me, because he didn't feel that I was going

(54:26):
in the right direction. And the priest suggested to my
father to send me abroad to go live in another country.
And the priest and my father. The priest gave my
father the money. They sent me to the United States
to go live with a family in the United States.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
And what was that like for you?

Speaker 10 (54:49):
At first, I was happy because I wanted to just
leave and never come back and never look back. And
my father and the priest and they arranged a marriage
for me to marry someone that to come to the
United States legally, and so I did. And once I

(55:10):
got to the United States, within a couple of months,
I started living on my own. I started learning the language,
and I started a job, and I began to just
do the things that I thought I had to do,
work and survive. And I forever looked for love and

(55:35):
I never found it because I didn't.

Speaker 7 (55:37):
Love who I was.

Speaker 10 (55:38):
So therefore people that didn't love me, they didn't respect me,
they didn't I didn't have boundaries, and I didn't know
how to love, and I didn't know how to receive love.
I met people and I had relationships, but nothing ever
worked for me, because the second that something didn't go
my way, or I didn't like the way someone talked

(56:01):
to me, or I had to encounter a difficult situation,
I would be gone. I wouldn't stick around to work
it out or anything like that. And I met my husband,
my current husband, in twenty ten, and he was a
wonderful man, and I really wanted things to work. And

(56:22):
that's why I used the example of my marriage in
the beginning that we always butt hads, were always at war.
We were always having these stupid arguments. And it wasn't
because I didn't love him or not because he didn't
love me. It was just it just I didn't know.
I didn't know how to accept his love. I didn't

(56:43):
know how to love him, and I didn't know what
to do. And again, it wasn't until I wrote my
book that I realized that I was like a child.
My brain never really developed into maturity. I was trapped
in that fifty five year old body. When I wrote
the book, I realized that I had a lot of

(57:04):
homework to do. And that's when I started going to
the mirror and speaking to the girl that I saw
and the mirror and things just started happening. I released
the book just a few months ago. It was February
of twenty twenty four. It wasn't that long ago, and
I've matured so much, blossomed into this person that has confidence.

(57:32):
I've blossomed into this human being that lives with joy,
and my freedom is unbelievable. I just love everything. I
love people, and I love life, and I want to
be an inspiration for those that might still be hurt.

Speaker 3 (57:50):
In that last part is what is bouncing around my noggin.
It's I want you, guys, if you're out there and
you have been abused, if you know somebody that has
been abused, and I would bet dollars to donuts we
almost all do. This book is called Sheila, and I
want you to read it because in reading this book,

(58:13):
I became ridiculously anger angry. How dare how dare anybody
steal the innocence of a child for some kind of base, carnal,
deplorable desire. And you'd write this in such a manner
that it lets people know not only are they not alone,

(58:41):
but also you can make it through this. And you
wrote it in such a beautiful fashion. You had sections
that were when you were ten, and then you section
had sections that were modern day, and you went back
and forth, and the way they mirrored each other, the
way it helped us not get mired in the bile

(59:03):
of this kind of disgusting example of excuse for a
human And by the way, fallow la la lah nice
Christmas stuff, isn't it? But it is because it's hope.
It's and it's not only hope like in that it's
something off pigh in the sky, but it's that thing.

(59:24):
If you're listening right now, if you know somebody that's
been through something, I want them to get this book
because I want you to see. I really would love
for you to recognize there are others out there that
have gone through this. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
You did nothing, you were abused, You were a victim. However,

(59:46):
because you were a victim doesn't mean that you have
to remain a victim. You can change this and the quality,
the timbre of your life that could look so dark
and hopeless and worthless. And how did you describe yourself
some of the icky feelings you were having about yourself.

Speaker 10 (01:00:08):
In the past. Yes, in the past, I just didn't
like where I was. I didn't like my face, and
all I saw was that scar that It's very small,
it's only about quarter of an inch longs, but I
saw it all the time, and now I don't see
it it's almost like it doesn't exist anymore, because now
I love who I am from inside out.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
And that's if you're in that shadowy place right now.
I want you to hear what Regina just said. She
felt read this book, she felt very similarly to how
you're feeling right now. Yeah, and she's drawn herself through
it and out of it and into her own acceptance, appreciation.

(01:00:56):
And there's something you said, Regina that was really beautiful.
You said I didn't know how to receive love. And that,
to me is what I've been going on about. Everybody
talks about giving love, giving love, giving love. However, what
I have found the real key is are you brave enough?

(01:01:17):
Are you courageous enough? Are you willing to go through
your trauma and your scars and your wounds to be
open enough to receive love from yourself and from another?
And I hear you saying very clearly that you worked
your tushy off so you could receive love. Yeah, and

(01:01:38):
that's beautiful. Now, tell me what was the catalyst. What
was the thing that said I can't not write this book.
I absolutely have to put pen to paper and I
have to get this story out. Was there a moment.
Was there an event, did something occur that made you
say I must.

Speaker 10 (01:02:00):
What happened to me was that in twenty fifteen, I
witnessed a mother being so pressed out because her child
was pressed out. That woman's child was my age when
I suffered my abuse, and that little girl pleaded with
her mother not to go to summer camp that year.

(01:02:21):
And when I witnessed that, I said, wow, that's what
I did. I pleaded with my mother not to make
me go to music lessons, but my mother needed me
to go because she believed it was the best thing
for me. So my cry right now, my pride for

(01:02:43):
everyone is that if a child says, mommy, daddy, grandma, teacher, whoever,
please don't make me go, there's a reason why that
child doesn't want to go. And if you ask that child,
why don't you you want to go, dear, and that
child doesn't say a word, that's when you have to say,

(01:03:06):
I need to do something. A child in distress is
not going to tell mom and dad why, because there's
another person out there telling that child that if you
tell your parents, or if you tell anybody, they're going
to give you up, or they're going to call your names,
or they're not going to believe you, or I'm going

(01:03:27):
to hurt you even more if you tell it's never
a child's fault. Ever. This message is to the adults
out there that are hurt and still from what happened
to them. It is never ever a child's fault. And
if you are a mother or a father, or a
parent or whoever, or a caretake or a teacher or

(01:03:48):
a theay care provider and a child says I don't
want to go, and you ask why, and they don't
say anything, that's when you need to say, Okay, you
don't have to go, sweetie, but you need to do something.
You need to find out why.

Speaker 3 (01:04:09):
All right, now, I'm gonna ask some tough questions because
I've seen these situations before. Mother and father are divorced
and the mother or the father is the abuser and
they don't want to go, but the court says you
have to go.

Speaker 10 (01:04:28):
What do you do? That's it. That's a tough one that.

Speaker 12 (01:04:36):
You have to fight.

Speaker 10 (01:04:37):
You have to when the courts get involved. And unfortunately,
sometimes what I see is the parent with more money
wins at the court because they have the better lawyers.
Go on, h Yeah, that's that's that's heartbreaking. That is heartbreaking.

(01:05:03):
When you see your child, do you take it away
by the law, knowing that child is going to encounter
stressed and abused on the other end, do you have
to keep fighting?

Speaker 3 (01:05:18):
And I've seen people fight and fight and fight and
spend hundreds of thousands of dollars and do everything within
their power to remove that person from their beautiful child's
life and only to get caught up in the court's
time and time and time again. It's just the system

(01:05:40):
that we have is broken. This is they don't listen,
and justice does not move swiftly, and this is not okay,
and it's not okay. And you went through this, and
not only did you go through this, but you had

(01:06:01):
a childhood friend go through this as well, didn't you.

Speaker 10 (01:06:05):
Yes. So in the book, Juliet is a woman that
I reunited with in twenty sixteen in the United States.
She went through all of this abuse prior to me.

Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
Okay, right there, we're going to take a short break
and we're going to hear all about Juliet. On the
other side, you are listening to an incredibly brave Regina
la France. And the book is called Sheila, and we'll
be back right after this.

Speaker 8 (01:06:49):
I listened to the wind to the end of my
soul where I'll end up well, I think only God
really knows. I sat upon the set in sun but never, never,

(01:07:12):
ny for never. I never wanted water once, never there
heaven never. I listened to my words, but they fall

(01:07:33):
far below. I let my music take me where my
heart wants to go. I swam upon the Devil's lake,
but never, never, v never for never. I'll never make

(01:07:57):
the same mistake, never, never, never.

Speaker 2 (01:08:17):
Ahi, Everyone, this is Neil Donald Walsh, and I'm happy
to tell you that you're listening to in her Journey
with Greg Friedman stick Around. Your life could change any minute.

Speaker 3 (01:08:28):
Social media is in her Journey with Greg Friedman in
the website's Greg Friedman dot com. And you are listening
to k x F M one O four seven broadcast
from Laguna Beach, California, for the entire universe. All right, y'all,
I don't even know how to describe what's transpired in

(01:08:51):
this show. I can only say this. Regina La France
is an author. She is you know, some people would
call her a survivor. I don't think that's true. I
think that's only a small step in her journey. She
was horribly, disgustingly abused as a child. She went into

(01:09:17):
what a normal pattern for humans is after that, where
she found herself ashamed of herself, found herself ugly inside
and out, mentally, physically, and spiritually, and then took the time,
found the strength and went through the steps to not
only survive, but to thrive. And Regina, you have my

(01:09:43):
huge admiration for this.

Speaker 2 (01:09:45):
I am thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:09:47):
I just the bravery that you exhibit to in your
perseverance and the fire and the passion for your life
that you have now is is such an incredible testimony
to possibilities. If you're out there, I want you to

(01:10:08):
look at this one. But I want you to read
this book, and I want you to know that you're
not only not alone, you are not alone, and you
can get through this and not only just exist, but live,
truly live, because Regina is a living, breathing testimony to that.

(01:10:31):
And thank you for that.

Speaker 2 (01:10:33):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:10:34):
And you had a friend from the same village, Yes, yes,
a lady named Juliette. Yes, tell us her story please.

Speaker 10 (01:10:46):
She was a mistress, a sex slafe or whatever. Many
people call it different things of this priest. She lived
near the church and she was used by him for
many years. When she was a young lady, possibly her

(01:11:06):
late teens, she moved to the United States to never
be seen again. When I moved to the United States
and back in early eighties when I was eighteen, I
didn't know where she was and I didn't know even
where she lived or anything like that. But in twenty sixteen,
a woman that I used to work with was talking

(01:11:30):
to this woman, Juliette and she there were talking back
and forth, and the lady told her, oh, I worked
with a young lady and her name was Regina from
from the island where you're from. And Juliett just went crazy.
She said, you did what do you know where she is?
Do you know where she lives? I need to see her.
I need to speak with her.

Speaker 9 (01:11:52):
And so.

Speaker 10 (01:11:55):
My friend arranged a meeting for us and we went
on a road trip. During that road trip, we talked
about everything that happened, and she was living with that
shame still. She never went back to the island or
anything like that, and she did not want to share
her her story publicly, and she told me that it

(01:12:17):
would be okay. She accepted that I would write my
book and that I would mention her in the book,
but not details of what she went through. And then
Juliet passed away shortly after that.

Speaker 9 (01:12:31):
And.

Speaker 3 (01:12:33):
So talk about how she passed away, if you would please.

Speaker 10 (01:12:38):
We went on the road trip and she she wasn't
feeling well, and she had told me that she thought
she had cancer, but she wasn't sure, and she fell
and hurt herself and hurt her head, and she basically
died in my arms during our road trip.

Speaker 3 (01:13:00):
How I just one thing after another, thing after another thing.
You found somebody and you shared that what you had
gone through at the subjugation of a disgusting, disgusting thing. Yeah,

(01:13:22):
and then she passes away? How did you process that?
What did you do with that? How did you go on?
What did you feel? How did you feel?

Speaker 2 (01:13:33):
You?

Speaker 10 (01:13:34):
Really, to be honest, when I was that age, when
I was younger, prior to my own homework and my
own healing, and after I wrote the book and I've
done all this healing for myself, I didn't really know
how to feel after what happened to me when I
was ten years old. You just go on, I didn't

(01:13:59):
know how to feel anything. I didn't know how to cry.
I didn't know how to to feel. I just didn't know.

Speaker 2 (01:14:06):
You just move on.

Speaker 10 (01:14:09):
I didn't really mourn the loss of Juliet until after
after I decided, Oh after I learned how to feel,
because I now feel, I feel, I feel love, I
feel pain, I feel empathy, I feel sympathy, I feel
I feel for people. I heart when you heart and

(01:14:32):
from a place of love in my heart. But when
I was younger, I didn't know all. I didn't know
how to feel anything. I just went onto the next day.

Speaker 3 (01:14:45):
And when you started to feel. One of the things
that you talked about feeling was anger. Anger at that priest,
anger at his mother, anger at your mother, anger at
your father.

Speaker 1 (01:15:00):
What did you die?

Speaker 10 (01:15:02):
I felt a lot of anger to the priest. In
twenty seventeen, I went back home to my homeland for
the last time. So I haven't been back since twenty seventeen.
And I went to the church and I attended math there,
and I that day at that church, I prayed and

(01:15:23):
I said, I am releasing you from my mind and
my heart. You no longer hold any power over me.
I'm releasing this burden, and I released him from any
any thing that I felt for him, which was anger
and sadness and depression and all kinds of different emotions.

(01:15:46):
So I released that. I said, I do not want
to hold this any longer. Are you the burden of
holding that anger and that sadness and that all of that?
I released all that. I said, I am not the judge,
the final judge here. You were gone, you were gone
out of my mind, and you're gone from having that

(01:16:08):
responsibility of that power. And once I did that, I
began to feel compassion for my father and my mother
for the way that they were so disappointed in me.
They really believed that I turned out to be just
a pretty teenager that just went off and didn't care

(01:16:31):
about them. My mother and my father did not know
what had happened. I never told them, so in my book,
I write a spiritual letter to my father letting him
know that why I turned out the way I turned
out interesting my mother before before she passed, I never
told her anything, but I did have a lot of

(01:16:54):
conversations with her about how I had become. I'm a
good person, the full human being, and my mother was
okay with all that. We talked about the past a
little bit, but not much. I truly believe that if
I had told my parents, they would have said, Okay,

(01:17:14):
you're not going back to music lessons, but we're never
going to talk about this again, because back then we
just didn't talk about things like that. And somebody said
to me, how can you not talk about things like that?
And I said, well, the movie The Color Purple. Everyone knew,
but no one said anything. It was like that, you

(01:17:36):
just didn't talk about emotions, about feelings. Your parents like, oh,
be quiet, don't be telling the neighbors any of that stuff. Well,
what goes on in this house stays in this house.
And my father detoned me. He never looked towards me
ever again. Even when I went home to visit him
when he was ill, he could not look at me.

(01:17:59):
And that hurts so much. But I held that I
helped myself responsible because I never told him so. He
was just so disappointed that that he totally bestoned me.
He didn't want to. I have a picture of me
and my mom and my dad. When I was about
probably about nineteen, I went home to visit them, and

(01:18:22):
I wanted a picture with my parents in the worst way.
So I'm sitting next to my father and my mother
is standing behind me and behind him, and he's looking
the other way. He did take the picture, but he's
looking the other way. And that's just the way I
look at that picture. And it makes me so sad.

Speaker 3 (01:18:41):
And I hear you talk about being angry and being
hurt and being wounded, and I hear you talking about
forgiving and letting it go and carrying and not carrying
it anymore. There's a big chasm between those two things.
What occurred that allowed you to truly let it go,
to truly not carry along that hurt or that pain

(01:19:03):
or that anger towards them.

Speaker 10 (01:19:06):
I accepted. I accepted what happened to me. I learned
and understood that it was not my fault as a child.
But I have to accept because I cannot move forward
unless I accept, because it's part of my life, it's
part of me now. By accepting it, I have learned

(01:19:27):
to understand triggers, and it's how I handle a trigger
when it arrives. It's a memory of what happened. I
can't take it away, I can't erase it. But I
accepted it, and I released that priest from carrying that
burden of what he has done, what he did to me,

(01:19:50):
and I began loving who I am, and I've begun
to discover joy. And once I achieved my emotional freedom,
I am now who I am today and I like
who I am. I I really do, I I I am.
I'm just the Lady Bug started my non profit foundation

(01:20:14):
called the Lady Bug Movement Foundation, and it's I just
started it this year and it's it's wonderful to to
have that vision. And my vision is to a long
term goal is to open a retreat for victims of
child trauma, to bring them in and teach them what

(01:20:35):
I've learned, which is to accept and to release it
and to understand the triggers and begin to discover joy.
And once you discover that joy, because joy is different
than happiness, a new car is happiness. Joy is sitting

(01:20:58):
under a tree reading a book for me. And so
my retreat will be one that people can come in
and they're going to come in as victims. They're going
to look in the mirror, they're going to talk to
the person in the mirror, and I Am going to
guide them and love them and serve them love, and
they are going to leave feeling the joy and feeling

(01:21:21):
the love for who they are.

Speaker 3 (01:21:24):
And what are the things you want parents to notice?
What are the warning signs you want them to be
able to recognize so that they could maybe do something
about this as soon as possible, or maybe before it
even begins.

Speaker 10 (01:21:40):
So before it begins, you have to obviously supervise and
manage your child in a way that you know that
that child is happy, that child is care free, and
that child loves going to school, that child loves going
to the daycare, that child loves going to visit the
neighbor next door. You need the second that child's demeanor changes,

(01:22:04):
that's when you know that something happened to that child.
If you have a gathering at your house and you
have a lot of people in the house, and that
child was always happy, but then there's a time where
that child hides behind you because there's a person in
a room that that child is not comfortable sitting on
their lap or going outside with them, Please know that

(01:22:28):
something is happening. A child loves to go play, a
child loves to go with a stranger. That's why we
have stranger danger because a child doesn't measure danger. They
just go because they want to play, or they want
to have a toy or whatever. So if that child
doesn't want to go, but that child used to go

(01:22:51):
and used to have a good time, but now that
child is reserved and says, Mommy, I don't want to go,
Please don't make me go. That's when you have to
draw everything. And if you have a teenage daughter or
a teenage son that just doesn't want to sit out
the table anymore and wants to just be in the
room and close the door and their attitude changed, please

(01:23:14):
know that they are either being bullied in school, they
are something is happening, and you have to drop everything
to offer that child the love and the support that
they may need. And they feel comfortable speaking with you
and talking to you. And it could be, like you said,

(01:23:35):
another parent, or it could be a family member.

Speaker 3 (01:23:39):
And what do you do because just like you, if
somebody came to you and said is this going on,
nine times out of ten, children would deny it. Children
would say no, it's fine, I'm fine, everything's fine, because
they're either afraid or of what the consequences would be,

(01:24:00):
or afraid of turning the other person in. What do
you do with that? How as an adult do you
take care that you nurture, that you make it safe
enough for them to actually acknowledge what's going on.

Speaker 10 (01:24:15):
That's a tough one, especially when the courts are involved,
because they have so much power. And again, attorneys that
are paid very well and are very savvy and very
connected with the courts, they have the power to manipulate
how things go. I've seen situations where the attorney says,

(01:24:39):
don't worry, I know the prosecutor, or don't worry I
know the judge.

Speaker 12 (01:24:45):
And that's something that maybe the Ladybug movement can get
involved and start making noise because these attorneys need to
be exposed and these judges need to be exposed.

Speaker 3 (01:24:59):
And beyond the courts, you still have this child that
won't talk, that won't How can we help the child
if the child is not in a position maybe to
even acknowledge the abuse that happened to themselves much less
anybody else. But you see it evident, what do you do?

Speaker 10 (01:25:23):
It's I don't know, I don't know what you can do,
what else you can do it. It's a lot of
parents are caught in that and that situation you have
to document everything and hopefully it's not too late the
child is not going to be raped or or become

(01:25:45):
pregnant like I did, and document everything, and and and
never never, never stop fighting for the child. Take take
photographs of the child is bruised or or record everything
and keep fighting because it's not like you can take

(01:26:06):
the child out of state or you can take the
child to a place of safety, because then you go
to jail, and now you can't fight for your child
from jail.

Speaker 3 (01:26:18):
It's tough, man, It's tough.

Speaker 10 (01:26:20):
Yes it is, Yes it is, and we see it
all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:26:24):
And I'm going to tell you this, if you're a parent,
I don't care what's going on, never give up. I
know there are times where it feels hopeless. I know
that there are times where it feels as though you
are all alone and everybody is thinking you're crazy, but
you're not, and you're doing what you need to do

(01:26:44):
to take care of that child. We're going to take
our last break for the evening and we'll come back
and we will ask Regina our last question you are
listening to in a Journey with Greg Friedman, and we'll
be back right after this.

Speaker 1 (01:27:05):
I am woman with.

Speaker 13 (01:27:14):
Hermie roar and the numbers dooming to ignore and down
too much to go, but can protect.

Speaker 4 (01:27:24):
Because I've heard it.

Speaker 9 (01:27:25):
Off and I've been down there on the No one's
ever gonna.

Speaker 4 (01:27:31):
Keep me down again. Whoa, yes, I'm why, but it's
with some mon.

Speaker 9 (01:27:41):
It's a day the cross, but much shapcake. If I'm pass,
I can do any. I am strong, strong, I am in.

Speaker 11 (01:27:58):
I am woman.

Speaker 1 (01:28:06):
You can bend, but never break, because it only serves to.

Speaker 4 (01:28:11):
Make me more de turn into cheap by bot long
and the punfecting strong that enostady longer.

Speaker 13 (01:28:23):
Don't you deepened conviction in mysel.

Speaker 9 (01:28:29):
W I was, but it's wisdom bone pay.

Speaker 13 (01:28:35):
Is some pain grass, but have a shall pay if
by past I'm kid lay, I am strong, strong.

Speaker 1 (01:28:48):
I am invisible and s I am woman. I am woman.

Speaker 9 (01:29:01):
To watch me grood see me standing toe toe dos't
to spread.

Speaker 13 (01:29:07):
My love and about a crystal landad.

Speaker 1 (01:29:11):
But I'm still in Membryo with a long long way to.

Speaker 13 (01:29:16):
Go until I think my brother understanding.

Speaker 1 (01:29:22):
What wise.

Speaker 13 (01:29:25):
But if we stand mon, dis pay ris but the
helmet shall take.

Speaker 1 (01:29:34):
If I got you, I can face that.

Speaker 6 (01:29:39):
I am strong, strong, I am invisible and I am.

Speaker 3 (01:29:46):
What I.

Speaker 11 (01:29:56):
I That's the.

Speaker 3 (01:30:31):
Now y'all may be asking yourself, Wait, that's not the
kind of music. Greg who plays on Inner Journey? Why
the heck did he play that song? Regina? Why did
I play that song?

Speaker 10 (01:30:43):
Well, that's the song that I used in my book
when I decided that I was going to start writing
because I was ready.

Speaker 3 (01:30:54):
And that's the thing. I don't care what it is
that you use as that touchstone, that anchor, that catalyst.
I don't care if everybody else in the world goes
that's hokey, that's silly. If it takes you and catapults you,
or inspire it.

Speaker 10 (01:31:11):
If it speaks, it speaks to you, use it exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:31:16):
If it speaks to you, use it. And that spoke
to you, and that used it, and you used it
and you created a beautiful book. Sheila. Now, I'm for
those of you who did not listen to this program,
Please go back and listen. It's really important because there's
virtually no one on this planet, sadly, that doesn't know

(01:31:42):
somebody that has been abused or that hasn't been abused themselves. Please,
this book will make you feel anger, It'll make you
feel grief, It'll make you feel sadness, it'll make you
feel joy, it'll make you feel hope and pursuance. You

(01:32:02):
don't have to be a victim just because some twit
victimized you. You don't have to continue his abuse on yourself.
And that's exactly what Regina did. She was victimized and
then she took that and she amplified it onto herself
until one day she had enough. That's right, and she

(01:32:24):
changed and you can change too.

Speaker 10 (01:32:27):
That's right.

Speaker 3 (01:32:29):
And now we are at that last question of the evening.
Is there anything that you want to share that we
didn't touch on? Is there are there things that we
touched on that you want to expound on a little
bit more or just have any Is there anything you'd
feel or miss in if you didn't share with our
listeners this evening.

Speaker 10 (01:32:50):
The one thing that I wanted to share I already
touched on. It was to wrap up. You must accept
in order to move forward. You have to accept what
happened to you. Once you accept, you must understand the
triggers that are going to arrive. When a trigger arrives,

(01:33:13):
it's just a way of reminding you what happened and
if you play into it, it's going to bring you back.
So you have to stay strong and focused on moving forward,
and from that point on, you begin to discover joy
and you begin to feel joy with little things, babysteps.

(01:33:35):
You must go to that mirror, speak with that person
that you see on the mirror and tell that person
that it wasn't your fault, because it's never a child's fault.
And that's when you begin your emotional freedom journey.

Speaker 3 (01:33:53):
It's never.

Speaker 10 (01:33:56):
Never. And if you caught up with the courts, you
must keep fighting. You must keep fighting. You can never surrender.
And manifest and pray and develop a plan of action,

(01:34:16):
one with documentation, one with photographs, one that is going
to bring that child back to you for safety.

Speaker 3 (01:34:28):
Regina. The book again is called Sheila, and tell our
listeners who Sheila is. Shayla is me, And I'm grateful
to you, thank you, thank you. The courage that was
in your voice tonight, the courage that it took to

(01:34:49):
not only start the book, but finish the book and
then tell the story over and over and over so
that we turn on light where there's darkness, so we
make sure that there's no corner that these disgusting deplorable
you can hide is amazing, and I am in respect

(01:35:14):
of your courage. I'm grateful for you that you have
been willing to share it, not only with the world,
but specifically with our listeners tonight. What you did was
stunning and what you continue to do is absolutely gorgeous.
Thank you, Thank you so much. All Right, you guys,
you know the gig. If you have more questions, or

(01:35:37):
if you have questions about this that you didn't feel
comfortable asking on air, don't hesitate.

Speaker 1 (01:35:42):
Email me.

Speaker 3 (01:35:43):
I will do my best to provide resources or connections
to the appropriate people as necessary. The email is Inner
Journey Gregfriedman at gmail dot com. Inner Journey Greg Friedman
at gmail dot And as always, there's a whole host
of people that work behind the scenes to put this

(01:36:07):
program on. Thank you, and every single day, every single
time I'm behind this microphone, I feel it's my duty
to express my gratitude to y'all, the listening audience. This
show does not exist without you, and I am incredibly

(01:36:31):
grateful for your participation, and at this time of year,
I'm just incredibly grateful overall. Thank you for being Thank
you for being a part of my life and thank
you for allowing me to be a part of your life.
You've been listening to In a Journey with Greg Friedman.

(01:36:53):
Good night.

Speaker 2 (01:36:58):
Hi, it's Greg Braden and you're looking to inner Journey
with Greg Freeman

Speaker 4 (01:37:10):
MHM.