July 13, 2023 • 35 mins
It's a Midsommar update from Steve and Kristy. We took a little break and we're here to fill you in on the details of recent adventures including trips to New York, Taylor Swift and what went wrong at Niagra Falls.
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(00:00):
Okay, let's play ready, um, just you know, complete, just
say words back and forth? Saywords, okay, hello, Hello?
No, I want you to like, like say the next word of the
sentence. Ready Hello, Hi?Nope, okay, like you start hello
(00:21):
Hi? No, shit you start? I start? Why you're the worst?
No, you say the first words, and that the first word,
and then I say the next word. Hello. How are you today?
How are things going in your life? Shitty? But I have not killed
(00:54):
anyone or anything or itself? Thereit is welcome to it does both ways
with Christy and Steve the Midsomar addition, do you want to cover some of
(01:27):
the things that have happened just likehighlights over the last couple of weeks since
we haven't been recording this podcast.Well, for starters, I want to
say hello, oh hey, hey, hi, how are you? How
are you do? We met someguy at in Milwaukee that listens to our
show. We were I was high? We did? Are you serious?
(01:48):
Was either? Are you serious?Are you serious? Pete? Oh?
My god? Him and his wifehigh? We never met his wife?
No? By him and his wifelisten, Yes, they listen. They're
from many as his name Scott.Oh. If you got that right.
We're gonna call Scott high Scott.So there's been a lot going on.
What do you want to say?What has been going on? What's up?
Well, I just want to sayhello, I've I've missed everyone.
(02:12):
I've gotten a couple of DMS sos. Where have you guys been safety check?
Yeah, but we're here. We'vejust been busy and I think,
like most people know, it's superdifficult in the summertime when you have kids
home yea all the time and notime to yourself. Yeah, there's no
it's hard to escape to the dungeonto tape. Yeah there. I mean,
well it's not even that's just justyou know, it's kind of like
(02:35):
sometimes you're like, I don't evenhave anything to say right now because like
the kids are doing stuff, andthen I mean, honestly, there isn't
anything fun to say sometimes in yourmind. So you're saying your meds are
working, Yeah, I mean thingsare. I mean, still here,
how's that lexapro going? Still here? Okay, still on it? Jump
shot? So what do you wantto talk about on this? It's like
(02:58):
a midsummer I'm trying to say itkind of like that movie that mid soulmar
definitely not European. So where weleft things a million weeks ago was at
the start of the Vanda Pump reunion. We're not going to get through any
of that because who cares. Yeah, it's so far gone. Yeah,
but fresh take. Guess what happenedyesterday? Friend, This show that you
(03:22):
liked to trash and absolutely mock andridicule was nominated for two Emmys. Yeah,
because we all know that Emmys arenot I told you it was a
good show, man scam there,shold you it was a good show.
Well, it's Emmy nominated, Imean nominated in a reality show category,
which is fine. So Survivor,Wow, So's Big Brother. You just
(03:46):
can't give it Street crad. Canyou can say it's a good show.
No, it is a good showfor what it does. It's the Taylor
Swift reality shows. You see itand you're like, ooh, popcorn please
because they're gonna be doing something kookie. Which on the topic Taylor Swift,
you did that show. We didOlivia and I went. We sat so
(04:10):
high up in what's the stadium calledus Bank Stadium, practically touched the rafters.
I'm afraid of heights. I toldher as soon as we sat down
the first time, I'm here,I'm grounded until the end of the show.
I cannot do these stairs. Ithought I was gonna die. Um,
just I get vertigo and ship.Um. A little fun fact about
(04:34):
that is the one time that wewere down to get merch in concessions,
she got pissed at me because ofcourse she did, and stormed off and
where I didn't know where she was. She said she was going back to
her seat, and I'm like stuckat the transaction with a cashier, like,
(04:54):
I can't chase after her because theperson still has my credit card whatever.
So I'm just like, oh,like wait, and she runs off
and I go after her. I'mtrying to climb these massive stairs without falling
backwards, just you know, towhatever to get to her, to make
sure that she's okay. I getto our row and she's not there.
(05:15):
I don't see her, so Iinstantly start to panic. Yeah, you're
freaking out Number one because I can'tsee her. Number two, there's like
sixty thousand people. Number three,I don't have the bandwidth to scale these
stairs up and down looking for her. Sassy ass. Now, when you
did this, did you start likedoing the whole thing where you think about
like, oh, she's already beenlike kidnaps. Oh yeah. I was
like, her head is already shaved, she's already in different clothes. She's
(05:39):
in the back of a van.Dude chats and I mean, yeah,
okay, so she's in the backof a van somewhere anyway. So I'm
just like I have to, like, you know, I have to climb
these stairs down again to try tolike find security to say my kid is
whatever. Whatever. So I sitthere, I call her and I was
like where are you, like soloud that the people sitting nearby like turned
(06:00):
and looked at me. And She'slike, I told you, I'm in
our seat. And I'm like Iam too, and I don't see you.
I was sitting at the end ofthe row so if I needed to
like whatever, I could, andbecause our seats were like in the middle
and um, and so all ofa sudden, she sat up straight because
she's got the latart haunch and shelike leans over. She doesn't have a
good posture. We call it thehaunch, right, No, you have
(06:27):
a haunch. What's a haunch?Like the big hump. Your grandma had
it. You're crazy. Antonis saysthat she goes to pet to get rid
of her haunch. Anyway, movingon, that's not the point of the
story. The point of the storyis she has let heart bad posture,
and so she was slumped over andas soon as I said, where are
you, she sits up straight andI see her and everything's fine. See.
She didn't speak to me for therest of the show. Which how
(06:50):
long is the show again? Ohmy god? How long was it?
Like three and a half hours?And that was just Taylor's ship. She
had two um opening acts. Sothe shit started at six thirty at night.
We didn't walk out until eleven fifteen. Too long. So long Taylor.
(07:12):
So they're saying that, like Taylor, so it's gonna make like five
hundred billion dollars. And that's wherelike on the whole tour, on this
whole entire tour, about the onehundred and ten dates between you know,
Europe and South America, and everyone'slike, oh, we should go to
Austria, or we should go Sweden. Yeah, I want to go to
Sweden, Sweeten. Oh yeah,But then you're gonna like they're like oh,
it's gonna be cheaper, which thatpart I don't understand at all.
(07:33):
How just because it's another country doesn'tmean it's actually gonna be cheaper. Yeah,
I don't get that part. I'man idea. And the other part
is like, Okay, if you'regonna go to Rio de jan Era or
Mexico City, let's say, well, then there's a whole other new set
of issues, right, you haveto go through, right. But yeah,
I was bummed because I saw apicture of Jennifer Garner. She went
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to the show and her wrists werefull. Oh my god, it was
like up to her bis of thebracelet. It was adorable, which it
helps that she's famous. So peopleare just throwing I'm sure, but Olivia
and I, like you put onyour social media back then that Olivia and
I spent all this time and itwas so adorable and like our whole like
bracelet making factory that we had going. We get to the show and one
(08:16):
person, as we're standing in linefor something comes up and said, oh,
do you know you want to tradebracelets? And we're like yeah,
so she gave us one, wegave her one. Whatever. After that,
she was too shy. She wouldn'tapproach anyone, she wouldn't let me
approach anyone. So we essentially camehome with what we brought, our bracelet.
That's right, guys, yea,this is I would like, you
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know how like back in the day, every year they'd be like, it's
getting more and more expensive to raisea child between the ages of zero and
eighteen years old. It's going tocost you two hundred and thirty thousand dollars
whatever the number is, right,how much of that money is wasted?
You think, Oh, I wouldsay eighty five percent of it at least
at least because takeaway, food,clothing, all the shit that you buy
(09:01):
when they're in their early years babyand toddler that you don't actually need that.
Whether it's the gadgets, whether it'sthe toys, whether it's the outfits,
They don't need any of that shit. You give them diapers, you
give them food, whether it's fromyou or the store. You give them
a onesie. That's all they need, right for the first X amount of
(09:24):
months, is just like something overthem, a white onesie who cares.
And then when they get a littlebit older, they need something to stare
at, like an iPad. No, you don't need to buy all the
ship for the kid. They don'tuse it, right, So you just
need like something like swirly colors forthem to stare at, not an iPad
(09:46):
in a fucking cardboard box. That'sall they need. Okay. But they're
all those toys, all those Legos, the Barbies, the magnetiles, the
matchbox cars. They don't need anyof that shit. I'm trying to get
rid of it ten years later.Yeah, but you're trying to sell it.
That's another thing. I'm not tryingto sell. I'm trying to give
it to anyone, okay, Butother things you're trying to sell, because
that's what like we have right now, like we because we're broken. I'm
(10:09):
trying to make money, is whyI'm trying to sell it. Sometimes I
also just like want to throw ita wet like like yeah, just get
it out, get it out ofthe house. Oh can I can I
just throw away the net? Thenwhat net? The soccer net, the
net for the trampoline because we hadto Oh no, there's nothing wrong with
it. We can give it tosomeone else, just give it away.
There's a thing on Facebook. Isee our friend tater top um has it?
(10:33):
Oh god, no, I forgetthe name of it. Good story.
It's called trade. No, no, it's called like um, like,
just take it. Take it onFacebook like it's like it doesn't cost
any money. It's like a dumpster, the Facebook dumpster. Have you heard
of it? Okay? I thoughtthat was a time and take it.
(10:54):
It's called Facebook. Coume and takeit. I don't know, I'm not
nothing, no trust me, guys. No one thought like, hey,
man, Christie's on Facebook. Iwas a Facebook aficionado. No one thought
that. I mean. The goodnews right now is that, like time
has gone so much, is thatI started getting um updates if you have
(11:16):
kids about our age, which ourkids are like now, like you know,
fourteen twelve, okay, um,then you remember the beginning of the
pandemic when people are to see aroundeach other. That so a lot of
people started getting like Facebook kids,like Facebook Messenger kids, right. So
then talked about that before. Sonow I'm starting to get messages from Facebook
saying, hey, Isaac hasn't beenon this for so long. We're going
to delete this. Oh, Oliviahas been hasn't been this for so long?
(11:39):
We were going to delete this reallyyeah, which I'm all for because
have you ever gotten that message fromlike my space? No? Do you
miss my Space? Not at all, you don't. Well it was a
simpler day. It's like, rightnow I'm working on a website that to
sell things online. It takes meback to my Space because like for someone
(12:00):
else, you're you're yeah, yeah, helping with someone else's business. Yeah,
yeah, so I'm helping them that. So there's like a there's a
thing called like woo commerce, andthere's HTML and element er. I mean,
if you're a web person, youunderstand what I'm talking about. If
you're not, don't worry. Ijust remember back in the day with my
Space, a big deal was beingable to embed a music video or embed
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like crazy weird like glitter effects onyour profile. So like as you scroll
and look at pictures then you wouldsee like gold glitter, fancy. And
now it's like having to do thingswhere you have to like make it from
scratch. That is, yeah,you have to be a straight up content
creator. It's not no that orgraphic designer or whatever. It's even worse.
(12:46):
It's like a nerdy cold coat.Yeah. Anyway, that's why I
don't miss my Space at all becauseFacebook, anyone can do it. I
mean, that's the thing is thatso your grandparents are doing it now,
right? So speaking of meta,are you on the threads jump on that
wagon? Yeah, of course,because no one really jumped on the wagon.
That is such a bullshit thing that'shappening. It's a total marketing because
(13:11):
automatic Are you talking about the cockfight between that Elon and Zuck. Yeah,
so threads automatically if you have anInstagram account, yeah, it thinks
up. They have the cool powers. So it's cheating, it's not.
It's actually it's user friendly because thenyou don't have to take the time to
upload all of your contacts, allof the shits whatever. So that's it's
(13:33):
better for the user, right.And then also you don't if you have
I don't have any of the things. I don't have Twitter, I don't
have Threads or whatever, so no, I thought about not doing it.
So if you have something on Twitter, it doesn't instantly transfer over to Instagram.
(13:56):
You have to personally do that,yes of course. Okay, so
now that there's Threads, because they'rethe same company, if you put sh
it on Threads, it can goinstantly right to your your Instagram feed as
well. It's it's creating less steps. Yeah, it's dumbing it, don't
I agree with that. But here'smy issue with it is it's just another
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thing. Yea, so it's connectedInstagram. But I hate where they're like,
dude, that's just growing social mediawith it live all time, and
I'm like, not really, it'sjust a new thing within it, and
it makes it seem like like,well, the whole thing got started because
of the cockfight, But I don'tthink that it. Do you think that
it was in creation before that thecock fight? Do you hate to multi
(14:39):
billionaires? Like I hate it?How you hate vpr Okay, fuck,
I can't argue there. I meantheir real life. I mean you you
like to tell me all the timehow fake vander Pump is and how it's
like all staged and how it's thisand that premeditated. So you're telling me
that these two cuckolds are like reallife people. They're everyday Joe's that just
(15:03):
have like a bazillion not enough timeon their hands. If they have to
get into a cage match, wellit's the same thing as Vanderpump. What
I'm saying, but I agree withthat. Shoot it down, like these
are like your people. They're realpeople, right, Yes, they're just
you know, billionaires having a badday. On the topic of like real
(15:24):
people and Banderpump and all this kindof stuff. Do you remember when you
found out that wrestling was fake?It's not fake, dude, No,
we're not doing okay, but Vanderpump, dance Moms, all that kind of
stuff. I know that a lotof it's fake, and they have the
bloor line because they have to havegood guys and bad guys or heels and
good guys. As soon as Ifound out that wrestling was fake, I
was good because you know, notso many CTEs, but that means brain
(15:50):
injuries. Oh. I also rememberthinking, I was like, dude,
that was a fucking scam. Igot scammed into watching list how many pay
per view owe fight my cousin.Oh, I made my grandma buy every
freaking wine. Did not? Yeah, no, no, no, wonder
you like vander Pump because it's thesame thing, but with guys on the
(16:11):
juice, I don't know where togo without It's entertainment. At the end
of the day, it's whether it'sreality show or it's distracted wrestling. It
is the art of escapism to getout of your own awful, depressing bubble
and watch someone else's bullshit for afew hours when it's not your bullshit and
you really don't have any skin inthe game. But that's the difference between
(16:33):
me and other people. I likeit when my skin's in the game for
like the bullshit. Because what doI love? I love physical touch and
attention and or bits. Do youwant to talk about Gordanagara Falls? Because
I know that wows terrible segue?Yeah, you're right now. I have
to leave it just for you goingout the terrible segue. You didn't even
try. Bro. You could havejust said, and we want to New
(16:55):
York. Or I could do mynew thing that I'm doing when the kids
when the kids are shitty with us. Yeah, my new thing is I'm
playing the transition music that you wouldsee like on Friends or any like TV.
Yeah, yeah, any early ninetiessitcom. So lets how about you?
Do you act like one of ourkids being shitty? I'm gonna be
you. Do you guys want breakfast? Maybe pancakes? Why would I want
pancakes? I haven't hit pancakes.In twenty four hours. Why don't I
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want them now? Boodoo do do? How would the kids say that they're
going up to a friend's house.I'm going up to Timmy's house to play.
You would also call us assholes too, oh buy assholes? Wow?
Wow wow wow wow wow. Umyou walk in and you caught Olivia in
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a lie. Go Oh, Iwas gonna I was gonna pick on Isaac.
Okay, Isaac, did you getinto Dad's beer? So we went
to New York. That's that wasour big summer trip. Yep, Christie
got out of the car on theway there zero times. Let's let's start
(18:03):
at the beginning. No, let'sstart in the middle and then make our
way to the beginning, end theend. I like doing that personally.
You're the pulp fiction version of everything. Oh, because you know what keeps
things moving? Notice that Quentin Tarantinokeeps the things going, and that's what
I do too. I like tostart in the middle. So tell me
where you're going to start. I'mgoing to start in Wisconsin, all right,
Go okay? So we went toDave Matthews Band, Wisconsin, where
(18:25):
we met Scott or whatever his nameis. High Scott as soon as the
show was done the next day,we scooted out of the hotel, hunting
for New York. We had noplan. We had no no, we
didn't we didn't have a plan.We just sort of like, well,
we'll stop if we need to stop, whether it's in Cleveland, Oh,
(18:45):
we'll get back to that in aminute, or if it's an eerie who
cares. I decided to be atruck driver and drive that bit straight through
ten and a half hours. Ithink I let you pee once and then
I was like hold your water,Sybil, and I didn't let you out
of the car. Dude, you'reyou're. That's the thing that's tough about
this podcast with you my pop culturereferences. They're seventies, the people that
(19:07):
are mempies and eighties. But canI tell you something. The people that
are meant to get it will getit, and the people that don't,
fuck you, can they here's myquestion. So we're in New York.
Can these people hear this podcast?Can they hear this this podcast? Or
they have to turn up their hearingaid? Wow? You know? Okay,
So back to New York. Sowe get there in ten and a
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half hours because I'm a frank androck star from Milwaukee, which is from
Milwaukee, s thank you, andso I thought it was a good mixture
of like time with my family,time with your family whatever. One of
the days that we were there,my mom and I took the kids to
Canada. Because your passport isn't validanymore either, as my license I just
(19:52):
found out yesterday. Yeah, yourdaughter told you that, Yeah, your
your license expired in May. Right, I can still buy crack can beer?
Wow? Can you buy crack?No, you don't need a license
to do that. So while weare in Canada, we wanted to do
all of the like annoying touristy shitsthat you could, So we did the
mate of the mess no one goes, just so you know if you haven't
(20:14):
been to Nagara Falls before Canada,Like it's a quick, little like jaunt
from where we're it's an hour anda half from where we're from. And
there's the American side on Canadian side. American side it's kind of like burger
King. The Canadian side is morelike McDonald's. They're both gonna give you
diarrhea, but the McDonald's side diarrheaisn't gonna be a is the fries are
(20:36):
better. Yeah, the fries aredefinitely better the Canadian side. So I
would say the takeaway out of thewhole entire day in Canada, all the
tourist traps that we fell into,is I'm proud to admit that I gave
Olivia a trauma for later in life. In that trauma would be experiencing her
(21:00):
first haunted house. Yeah, andyou didn't even really do the haunted house,
didn't you just do these? Sothere's levels apparently kind of like hot
ones, and she got what werethe levels? It's like family friendly,
middle of the road, and thenlike like like saw like something, Yeah,
like a horror We're gonna take yourliver and leave you on a bathtub
(21:21):
something like you're actually gonna get lockedup or something. So anyway, obviously
we did the family friendly version andit's you know, Isaac, Olivia,
my mom and myself and so wego through and of course it's dark,
it's dimly lit. You can stillkind of see. I'm in the front,
which I'm not used to being becausewhen we do Halloween shits around back,
you're well, you're always in thefront because you're like a big burly
(21:44):
bear, and you'll protect me,ye be. So anyway, I'm in
the front. I'm the protector overmy children and my elderly mother. And
all of a sudden, the doorcloses behind us. The thing gets started,
and she starts screaming like someone choppedoff her arm from the second they
closed that door. So was sheokay walking into it? Like because you
(22:07):
walk up to this place, She'slike, she no, it's on Clifton
Hills. You can't miss it.I went to it when I was a
child. It's one of those likeCanada niagarafall staples. It'll never go away.
So yeah, she was. Shewas terrified the whole time. And
she's like, I'm gonna hate this. I'm gonna hate this. She was
never even giving herself an opportunity.So she screamed bloody murder throughout this whole
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thing. I don't know it timestopped. It felt like we were in
there for forty five minutes forever itwas probably ten. Oh do you actually
okay? We get we get toa certain part and I said before it
was dimly lit. We get toa part where it's completely dark, like
you can't see anything in front ofyou. I because I'm in the lead.
I have a baseball cap on.All of a sudden, the brim
(22:52):
in my hat hit something hard.It's a wall. Because I can't see
anything, so I'm like, ohshit, I must have to turn here
the people jumping out at you.No, because it's a family friendly version,
Okay, it's literally just it's justdark. It's just dark. And
every once in a while you wouldsee like one of those glass cased windows
that might have like a spooky scene, like a like a medical thing or
(23:15):
a doll or something like that.But we weren't looking at anything. We
were basically running through this maze.So it was just dark, and every
once in a while you would hearlike a bang or like a thunder sound.
Yeah, that's so, that's allthat it was. There was no
people ring around the rosy. Itwasn't even that. You didn't even get
(23:37):
that far. It wasn't even thatbro It was like literally just like a
door smag like slamming. So weget to what I think is almost the
end and it's pitch dark. Allof a sudden, a light and she's
like screaming at me, turn theflashlight on your cell phone it. So
(23:59):
then we turn this one corner wecan see a little bit of light and
there's an exit sign, like oneof those like they have to put every
store everyone else they were really doingCanada that they kind of just throw it
in there once in a while.So anyway, she sees this, and
I swear to god, she startedlike she's in the back of us,
right because we're all protecting her.She pushes past all of us, almost
(24:23):
knocks my mom down to the ground, and she barrels out of that fucking
door like a mouse, and she'slike and she gets outside. Okay,
that was a recording from it.Okay, thanks, oh yow dude.
(24:47):
This show, when we do soundeffects is really when we're at our peak.
That in accents, doesn't let mefinish the fucking story. As soon
as the door opens, it's daylight. She's out in the alle it's not
it's not the stop interrupting for fuck'ssake, it's not the end of the
ride. It's the fucking it's likean emergency door if there's like a fire
(25:11):
or some shit. And I waslike, and there's like these rickety metal
stairs to go down, and Iwas like, Olivia you can't go down
that way. She's like, I'mdone. I don't care. You're not
making me go back inside. Andso the next thing you know, I'm
like, my mom's going back in. Isaac is going back and I'm like,
we're almost done with this ff andthing. All of a sudden,
a worker comes out of behind thewalls, like I don't know where he
was. He must have heard herscreaming the whole damn time, and he
(25:34):
goes, just go get her outof here, Just go walk down the
alley. You'll meet back out atthe beginning again like sting all the actors.
You're scaring the actual people, butyou're holding out the families behind you.
They're like, this is here becausewhen you when you do go into
one of those places, you hearpeople scream and you're like, oh shit,
(25:56):
right, because that's the worst part. Well we love it, like
well we love it. God.Haunted hay Ride and Halloween time. Isaac
has been asking for a while now, is this the year? Is this
the year that I can go withyou to the Haunted hay Ride? I
think I want to try it out. Whatever, we go through this bullshit.
And even though she was freaking out. He was silently freaking out,
(26:18):
And so as soon as we getoutside, everyone's safe, everything's braid again.
He looks at me and he goes, Yeah, So I don't think
this is going to be the yearfor the haunted hay Ride. Mom.
I don't think I'm ready yet.Just think about, like when you go
to see those haunted hey rides andyou see the kids that are like seven
years old that are better at thisshit than you are. Like I was
watching a nightmare on Elm Street atlike six, and yes it traumatized me,
(26:41):
and yes I still have childhood fearfrom it. You should have known
just from the beginning that this wasa bad idea, Like did at any
point did she say like, Okay, I thought it was going to be
campy, Like I went through itwhen I was younger than her, younger
than Isaac. But again, Iwas shown horror movies at a young age,
so I was already broken. ButI really didn't think it was going
(27:03):
to be that big of a dealat all, especially because I chose the
version. Yeah, and it wasjust dark, bro, Yeah, Like
it was just dark, and youwere there with me, and like you
know that it's like a bet,yeah that you pay for, Like you're
not actually gonna get injured. Yeah, you're not seeing like having a walk
through and look through the glass,like they're not gonna like rip the heads
(27:26):
off kittens or anything. You're welcome, Olivia. You now have something to
tell you. She is. WhatI love about her is her new thing,
not even new, the thing thatshe've been doing the last few months.
And it drives me insane. Isokay you hear thunder like jump scares
I get yeah, But she's onher phone, and I said, Olivia
at dinner time and she's sitting onthe couch fifteen feet away from me,
(27:48):
right Olivia dinner time. She doesn'thave earbuds on, she doesn't have anything
like that. So I walk overtour and I'm like, Olivia, you
just like you put your hand onher shoulder, didn't even touch her the
other day when she did it.Olivia dinner time and she goes. She
jumps like you just lit a firecrackernext to her. Makes me go insane
(28:12):
because I'm like, get, okay, jump because there's a noise, Jump
because you're startled, Jump because someonejumped out from behind a window or a
door, not because if someone jumpsout behind the door, that means you're
transparent. But it jumps out,I get it. But she goes because
you weren't ever that scared as akid, were you? Oh god,
no, even with all of mytrauma, what was the because you live
(28:33):
out in the middle of Oh god, here we go the hill Like if
you've seen the hills have Eyes,it's not even close. Steve is a
Steve's version, because we'll talk aboutwhere you came from. Go ahead.
I took let's compare and con dressactually, because that's a perfect because you're
just going to be inappropriate. Christie'sfrom the area of New York where it
(28:55):
the hills have Eyes. We wentto the fourth of July. There weren't
very many sleeps. There weren't verymany sleeves. It's where we fucking live
now, Douche Canoe. There isno different. I ended where I started.
It's not that bad here. Okay, have you been to Rock and
Rogers. That's a good point.You're right Rock and Rogers days, which
(29:15):
is, yeah, you're right aboutthat. When I was with Isaac,
I was like, Hey, there'sa Walmart right on the edge of town.
Going into the city of Rochester andI walked in and it is wild.
Yeah, it is a party there. Yeah. And I took Isaac
there because he's looking for fish stuff. When we were in New York and
I'm like, what do you thinkabout this place? And he's like,
(29:37):
why is everyone so loud? I'mlike, because it's the reason I'm so
loud, because you got things tosay. The other thing that I noticed
about New York is it smells likeweed everywhere nature. I go to the
amusement park, contact high. I'mhigh. That should be good though,
because then you don't have to likeactually buy the ship yourself. You just
have to breathe. All in all, I had a great time. I
know it want really fast. Iknow that there was like some unexpected hiccups
(30:02):
or whatever, but I you know, you had good time with your your
sister and your parents. I hada lot of time at the local bar.
You were at the bar every night. Mom said after I got home,
like we were home for like onenight, and she said that the
bar called her because it's like asmall town bar and asked where I was.
That's right, Yeah, they've missedme. I am iconic. I
(30:25):
can't tell if that's a joke ornot, but in both cases, I
would Actually I was living my bestJack Daniels week. You were going there
every single day, like we went. It was the third night and I
said, I'm I just can't anymore. Yeah, because you're you come from
like the school and the lifestyle oflike you want to go hang at the
bar and then just chill and talk. Like I just wanted to sit there
(30:48):
like they have it like a reallycool like outside patio area. You know,
there's nothing to do with the kidsare in bed, and I've never
whatever. I just wanted to sitout there, like I've romanticized a little
bit, and definitely like the youknow, becoming the alcoholic that just like
goes in and hangs out at thebar, you know what I mean,
or like maybe throws darts once ina while, Okay, but like I
know that that's like that's not whatI can do. Like you're the kind
(31:11):
of person that you can which iswhich is interesting because you are the social
creature out of the two of us, you are the one that that's where
you get energized. It's like frombeing around other people where that usually drains
me. But maybe it's because likeit's it's it's a small, yocal bar.
It's not like it's that busy.And I would also set out back
at the patio where I was basicallythe only one, you know. But
(31:33):
the other part to that is andI understand that, but even if it
was no matter where the bar is. Yeah, for me, I go
into a bar and like sitting atthe bar like small, talking with the
like the bartender. Ye don't likeit, okay, And it's nothing that
even if it because I'm I'm I'mthere to do a bit, I'm actually
a vampire. I want to suckyour energy. Oh wow, that's the
(31:56):
problem. Yeah, you should seesomeone about that. So the last night
that we were there, I draggedyou up there one last time and there
was there was a yokel that wasup there and I think his girlfriend worked
there, who cares, And hecame over and was absolutely just obnoxious,
intrusive the whole bet. Just youand I were in the middle of a
(32:19):
serious conversation, like we were actuallyat a serious points, like I had
tears in my eyes the whole betand he comes over and just sits down
like he doesn't even start to talkto us. He just like pulls up
a chair and he was like,hey, what's going on? How are
things? And you instantly like clench. I can see every muscle on you
(32:40):
tense up, tighten up, andI'm like, oh, fuck, here
we go. I can just sitthere and listen to him, even if
he's talking some freaking country yess bullshit. I can just listen to him because
that's what I did that. Iwas a bartender four five hundred years.
I got paid to do that,to listen to people's bullshit and let it
(33:05):
in one year and out the otherand not let it affect me at all,
but to be humble enough to say, well, he just needs someone
to listen to them. And itgot to the point where I said,
okay, you need to go now. I'm going to spend time with my
husband nice chatting with you so likeI know how to tap you out.
I was twenty minutes. I wasn'tgoing to let him there the whole night
(33:30):
until he felt bored and walked away. I'm gonna tap you out. I'm
gonna let you know what I'm donewith ya. Well, this is what
it's like. We have a friendsthat just went to Vegas for their anniversary
and I during their trip, theywent to one of those the things,
the time share things I can't like, so they could get like free dinner.
And I remember Corey Fola, whoI used to work with. She
went to a timeshare ones where aspart of it you got like a forty
(33:51):
two inch TV. Oh my god. And for me, I said,
well, how did it go?And he's like, well, we went
to the guy. He was supernice, We did the hour and half
presentation. You know, for Xamount of dollars a year, we could
own part of this hotel. It'sa great investment. Yeah, all the
shit right. And then I waslike, well, like and they just
you know, like because there's alwayslike a hard guy, and they're like,
(34:12):
yeah, the guy was really nice. And then the woman came and
she was the one where like oh, yeah, we're gonna get going,
and you know, she was reallykind of you know, persistent, persistent,
you know, a little bit rudeand like to the point with you
to our neighbors, to our friends, to our friends, Oh wow.
And to me, that's where I'mlike, because I just want to get
out of there. Yeah, doyou want to listen to the spiel.
(34:35):
You want to get your free day. And if I had money, okay,
I would own a little piece ofa hotel in every single city in
the country. Do you just getguilted into it? And because I'd rather
just pay than have to listen,buddy, I know. Well that's what
I'm here for, thank you.I'm here to help you tap out.
(34:57):
So, speaking of tapping out,I have to go make dinner, all
right, thanks for listening. Itgoes both ways with Christian Steve, No,
with us, you are the worstat improv games. I don't give
the game with it. Fuck nevermind,
Okay, let's play ready, um, just you know, complete, just
say words back and forth? Saywords, okay, hello, Hello?
No, I want you to like, like say the next word of the
sentence. Ready Hello, Hi?Nope, okay, like you start hello
(00:21):
Hi? No, shit you start? I start? Why you're the worst?
No, you say the first words, and that the first word,
and then I say the next word. Hello. How are you today?
How are things going in your life? Shitty? But I have not killed
(00:54):
anyone or anything or itself? Thereit is welcome to it does both ways
with Christy and Steve the Midsomar addition, do you want to cover some of
(01:27):
the things that have happened just likehighlights over the last couple of weeks since
we haven't been recording this podcast.Well, for starters, I want to
say hello, oh hey, hey, hi, how are you? How
are you do? We met someguy at in Milwaukee that listens to our
show. We were I was high? We did? Are you serious?
(01:48):
Was either? Are you serious?Are you serious? Pete? Oh?
My god? Him and his wifehigh? We never met his wife?
No? By him and his wifelisten, Yes, they listen. They're
from many as his name Scott.Oh. If you got that right.
We're gonna call Scott high Scott.So there's been a lot going on.
What do you want to say?What has been going on? What's up?
Well, I just want to sayhello, I've I've missed everyone.
(02:12):
I've gotten a couple of DMS sos. Where have you guys been safety check?
Yeah, but we're here. We'vejust been busy and I think,
like most people know, it's superdifficult in the summertime when you have kids
home yea all the time and notime to yourself. Yeah, there's no
it's hard to escape to the dungeonto tape. Yeah there. I mean,
well it's not even that's just justyou know, it's kind of like
(02:35):
sometimes you're like, I don't evenhave anything to say right now because like
the kids are doing stuff, andthen I mean, honestly, there isn't
anything fun to say sometimes in yourmind. So you're saying your meds are
working, Yeah, I mean thingsare. I mean, still here,
how's that lexapro going? Still here? Okay, still on it? Jump
shot? So what do you wantto talk about on this? It's like
(02:58):
a midsummer I'm trying to say itkind of like that movie that mid soulmar
definitely not European. So where weleft things a million weeks ago was at
the start of the Vanda Pump reunion. We're not going to get through any
of that because who cares. Yeah, it's so far gone. Yeah,
but fresh take. Guess what happenedyesterday? Friend, This show that you
(03:22):
liked to trash and absolutely mock andridicule was nominated for two Emmys. Yeah,
because we all know that Emmys arenot I told you it was a
good show, man scam there,shold you it was a good show.
Well, it's Emmy nominated, Imean nominated in a reality show category,
which is fine. So Survivor,Wow, So's Big Brother. You just
(03:46):
can't give it Street crad. Canyou can say it's a good show.
No, it is a good showfor what it does. It's the Taylor
Swift reality shows. You see itand you're like, ooh, popcorn please
because they're gonna be doing something kookie. Which on the topic Taylor Swift,
you did that show. We didOlivia and I went. We sat so
(04:10):
high up in what's the stadium calledus Bank Stadium, practically touched the rafters.
I'm afraid of heights. I toldher as soon as we sat down
the first time, I'm here,I'm grounded until the end of the show.
I cannot do these stairs. Ithought I was gonna die. Um,
just I get vertigo and ship.Um. A little fun fact about
(04:34):
that is the one time that wewere down to get merch in concessions,
she got pissed at me because ofcourse she did, and stormed off and
where I didn't know where she was. She said she was going back to
her seat, and I'm like stuckat the transaction with a cashier, like,
(04:54):
I can't chase after her because theperson still has my credit card whatever.
So I'm just like, oh,like wait, and she runs off
and I go after her. I'mtrying to climb these massive stairs without falling
backwards, just you know, towhatever to get to her, to make
sure that she's okay. I getto our row and she's not there.
(05:15):
I don't see her, so Iinstantly start to panic. Yeah, you're
freaking out Number one because I can'tsee her. Number two, there's like
sixty thousand people. Number three,I don't have the bandwidth to scale these
stairs up and down looking for her. Sassy ass. Now, when you
did this, did you start likedoing the whole thing where you think about
like, oh, she's already beenlike kidnaps. Oh yeah. I was
like, her head is already shaved, she's already in different clothes. She's
(05:39):
in the back of a van.Dude chats and I mean, yeah,
okay, so she's in the backof a van somewhere anyway. So I'm
just like I have to, like, you know, I have to climb
these stairs down again to try tolike find security to say my kid is
whatever. Whatever. So I sitthere, I call her and I was
like where are you, like soloud that the people sitting nearby like turned
(06:00):
and looked at me. And She'slike, I told you, I'm in
our seat. And I'm like Iam too, and I don't see you.
I was sitting at the end ofthe row so if I needed to
like whatever, I could, andbecause our seats were like in the middle
and um, and so all ofa sudden, she sat up straight because
she's got the latart haunch and shelike leans over. She doesn't have a
good posture. We call it thehaunch, right, No, you have
(06:27):
a haunch. What's a haunch?Like the big hump. Your grandma had
it. You're crazy. Antonis saysthat she goes to pet to get rid
of her haunch. Anyway, movingon, that's not the point of the
story. The point of the storyis she has let heart bad posture,
and so she was slumped over andas soon as I said, where are
you, she sits up straight andI see her and everything's fine. See.
She didn't speak to me for therest of the show. Which how
(06:50):
long is the show again? Ohmy god? How long was it?
Like three and a half hours?And that was just Taylor's ship. She
had two um opening acts. Sothe shit started at six thirty at night.
We didn't walk out until eleven fifteen. Too long. So long Taylor.
(07:12):
So they're saying that, like Taylor, so it's gonna make like five
hundred billion dollars. And that's wherelike on the whole tour, on this
whole entire tour, about the onehundred and ten dates between you know,
Europe and South America, and everyone'slike, oh, we should go to
Austria, or we should go Sweden. Yeah, I want to go to
Sweden, Sweeten. Oh yeah,But then you're gonna like they're like oh,
it's gonna be cheaper, which thatpart I don't understand at all.
(07:33):
How just because it's another country doesn'tmean it's actually gonna be cheaper. Yeah,
I don't get that part. I'man idea. And the other part
is like, Okay, if you'regonna go to Rio de jan Era or
Mexico City, let's say, well, then there's a whole other new set
of issues, right, you haveto go through, right. But yeah,
I was bummed because I saw apicture of Jennifer Garner. She went
(07:55):
to the show and her wrists werefull. Oh my god, it was
like up to her bis of thebracelet. It was adorable, which it
helps that she's famous. So peopleare just throwing I'm sure, but Olivia
and I, like you put onyour social media back then that Olivia and
I spent all this time and itwas so adorable and like our whole like
bracelet making factory that we had going. We get to the show and one
(08:16):
person, as we're standing in linefor something comes up and said, oh,
do you know you want to tradebracelets? And we're like yeah,
so she gave us one, wegave her one. Whatever. After that,
she was too shy. She wouldn'tapproach anyone, she wouldn't let me
approach anyone. So we essentially camehome with what we brought, our bracelet.
That's right, guys, yea,this is I would like, you
(08:39):
know how like back in the day, every year they'd be like, it's
getting more and more expensive to raisea child between the ages of zero and
eighteen years old. It's going tocost you two hundred and thirty thousand dollars
whatever the number is, right,how much of that money is wasted?
You think, Oh, I wouldsay eighty five percent of it at least
at least because takeaway, food,clothing, all the shit that you buy
(09:01):
when they're in their early years babyand toddler that you don't actually need that.
Whether it's the gadgets, whether it'sthe toys, whether it's the outfits,
They don't need any of that shit. You give them diapers, you
give them food, whether it's fromyou or the store. You give them
a onesie. That's all they need, right for the first X amount of
(09:24):
months, is just like something overthem, a white onesie who cares.
And then when they get a littlebit older, they need something to stare
at, like an iPad. No, you don't need to buy all the
ship for the kid. They don'tuse it, right, So you just
need like something like swirly colors forthem to stare at, not an iPad
(09:46):
in a fucking cardboard box. That'sall they need. Okay. But they're
all those toys, all those Legos, the Barbies, the magnetiles, the
matchbox cars. They don't need anyof that shit. I'm trying to get
rid of it ten years later.Yeah, but you're trying to sell it.
That's another thing. I'm not tryingto sell. I'm trying to give
it to anyone, okay, Butother things you're trying to sell, because
that's what like we have right now, like we because we're broken. I'm
(10:09):
trying to make money, is whyI'm trying to sell it. Sometimes I
also just like want to throw ita wet like like yeah, just get
it out, get it out ofthe house. Oh can I can I
just throw away the net? Thenwhat net? The soccer net, the
net for the trampoline because we hadto Oh no, there's nothing wrong with
it. We can give it tosomeone else, just give it away.
There's a thing on Facebook. Isee our friend tater top um has it?
(10:33):
Oh god, no, I forgetthe name of it. Good story.
It's called trade. No, no, it's called like um, like,
just take it. Take it onFacebook like it's like it doesn't cost
any money. It's like a dumpster, the Facebook dumpster. Have you heard
of it? Okay? I thoughtthat was a time and take it.
(10:54):
It's called Facebook. Coume and takeit. I don't know, I'm not
nothing, no trust me, guys. No one thought like, hey,
man, Christie's on Facebook. Iwas a Facebook aficionado. No one thought
that. I mean. The goodnews right now is that, like time
has gone so much, is thatI started getting um updates if you have
(11:16):
kids about our age, which ourkids are like now, like you know,
fourteen twelve, okay, um,then you remember the beginning of the
pandemic when people are to see aroundeach other. That so a lot of
people started getting like Facebook kids,like Facebook Messenger kids, right. So
then talked about that before. Sonow I'm starting to get messages from Facebook
saying, hey, Isaac hasn't beenon this for so long. We're going
to delete this. Oh, Oliviahas been hasn't been this for so long?
(11:39):
We were going to delete this reallyyeah, which I'm all for because
have you ever gotten that message fromlike my space? No? Do you
miss my Space? Not at all, you don't. Well it was a
simpler day. It's like, rightnow I'm working on a website that to
sell things online. It takes meback to my Space because like for someone
(12:00):
else, you're you're yeah, yeah, helping with someone else's business. Yeah,
yeah, so I'm helping them that. So there's like a there's a
thing called like woo commerce, andthere's HTML and element er. I mean,
if you're a web person, youunderstand what I'm talking about. If
you're not, don't worry. Ijust remember back in the day with my
Space, a big deal was beingable to embed a music video or embed
(12:24):
like crazy weird like glitter effects onyour profile. So like as you scroll
and look at pictures then you wouldsee like gold glitter, fancy. And
now it's like having to do thingswhere you have to like make it from
scratch. That is, yeah,you have to be a straight up content
creator. It's not no that orgraphic designer or whatever. It's even worse.
(12:46):
It's like a nerdy cold coat.Yeah. Anyway, that's why I
don't miss my Space at all becauseFacebook, anyone can do it. I
mean, that's the thing is thatso your grandparents are doing it now,
right? So speaking of meta,are you on the threads jump on that
wagon? Yeah, of course,because no one really jumped on the wagon.
That is such a bullshit thing that'shappening. It's a total marketing because
(13:11):
automatic Are you talking about the cockfight between that Elon and Zuck. Yeah,
so threads automatically if you have anInstagram account, yeah, it thinks
up. They have the cool powers. So it's cheating, it's not.
It's actually it's user friendly because thenyou don't have to take the time to
upload all of your contacts, allof the shits whatever. So that's it's
(13:33):
better for the user, right.And then also you don't if you have
I don't have any of the things. I don't have Twitter, I don't
have Threads or whatever, so no, I thought about not doing it.
So if you have something on Twitter, it doesn't instantly transfer over to Instagram.
(13:56):
You have to personally do that,yes of course. Okay, so
now that there's Threads, because they'rethe same company, if you put sh
it on Threads, it can goinstantly right to your your Instagram feed as
well. It's it's creating less steps. Yeah, it's dumbing it, don't
I agree with that. But here'smy issue with it is it's just another
(14:16):
thing. Yea, so it's connectedInstagram. But I hate where they're like,
dude, that's just growing social mediawith it live all time, and
I'm like, not really, it'sjust a new thing within it, and
it makes it seem like like,well, the whole thing got started because
of the cockfight, But I don'tthink that it. Do you think that
it was in creation before that thecock fight? Do you hate to multi
(14:39):
billionaires? Like I hate it?How you hate vpr Okay, fuck,
I can't argue there. I meantheir real life. I mean you you
like to tell me all the timehow fake vander Pump is and how it's
like all staged and how it's thisand that premeditated. So you're telling me
that these two cuckolds are like reallife people. They're everyday Joe's that just
(15:03):
have like a bazillion not enough timeon their hands. If they have to
get into a cage match, wellit's the same thing as Vanderpump. What
I'm saying, but I agree withthat. Shoot it down, like these
are like your people. They're realpeople, right, Yes, they're just
you know, billionaires having a badday. On the topic of like real
(15:24):
people and Banderpump and all this kindof stuff. Do you remember when you
found out that wrestling was fake?It's not fake, dude, No,
we're not doing okay, but Vanderpump, dance Moms, all that kind of
stuff. I know that a lotof it's fake, and they have the
bloor line because they have to havegood guys and bad guys or heels and
good guys. As soon as Ifound out that wrestling was fake, I
was good because you know, notso many CTEs, but that means brain
(15:50):
injuries. Oh. I also rememberthinking, I was like, dude,
that was a fucking scam. Igot scammed into watching list how many pay
per view owe fight my cousin.Oh, I made my grandma buy every
freaking wine. Did not? Yeah, no, no, no, wonder
you like vander Pump because it's thesame thing, but with guys on the
(16:11):
juice, I don't know where togo without It's entertainment. At the end
of the day, it's whether it'sreality show or it's distracted wrestling. It
is the art of escapism to getout of your own awful, depressing bubble
and watch someone else's bullshit for afew hours when it's not your bullshit and
you really don't have any skin inthe game. But that's the difference between
(16:33):
me and other people. I likeit when my skin's in the game for
like the bullshit. Because what doI love? I love physical touch and
attention and or bits. Do youwant to talk about Gordanagara Falls? Because
I know that wows terrible segue?Yeah, you're right now. I have
to leave it just for you goingout the terrible segue. You didn't even
try. Bro. You could havejust said, and we want to New
(16:55):
York. Or I could do mynew thing that I'm doing when the kids
when the kids are shitty with us. Yeah, my new thing is I'm
playing the transition music that you wouldsee like on Friends or any like TV.
Yeah, yeah, any early ninetiessitcom. So lets how about you?
Do you act like one of ourkids being shitty? I'm gonna be
you. Do you guys want breakfast? Maybe pancakes? Why would I want
pancakes? I haven't hit pancakes.In twenty four hours. Why don't I
(17:18):
want them now? Boodoo do do? How would the kids say that they're
going up to a friend's house.I'm going up to Timmy's house to play.
You would also call us assholes too, oh buy assholes? Wow?
Wow wow wow wow wow. Umyou walk in and you caught Olivia in
(17:41):
a lie. Go Oh, Iwas gonna I was gonna pick on Isaac.
Okay, Isaac, did you getinto Dad's beer? So we went
to New York. That's that wasour big summer trip. Yep, Christie
got out of the car on theway there zero times. Let's let's start
(18:03):
at the beginning. No, let'sstart in the middle and then make our
way to the beginning, end theend. I like doing that personally.
You're the pulp fiction version of everything. Oh, because you know what keeps
things moving? Notice that Quentin Tarantinokeeps the things going, and that's what
I do too. I like tostart in the middle. So tell me
where you're going to start. I'mgoing to start in Wisconsin, all right,
Go okay? So we went toDave Matthews Band, Wisconsin, where
(18:25):
we met Scott or whatever his nameis. High Scott as soon as the
show was done the next day,we scooted out of the hotel, hunting
for New York. We had noplan. We had no no, we
didn't we didn't have a plan.We just sort of like, well,
we'll stop if we need to stop, whether it's in Cleveland, Oh,
(18:45):
we'll get back to that in aminute, or if it's an eerie who
cares. I decided to be atruck driver and drive that bit straight through
ten and a half hours. Ithink I let you pee once and then
I was like hold your water,Sybil, and I didn't let you out
of the car. Dude, you'reyou're. That's the thing that's tough about
this podcast with you my pop culturereferences. They're seventies, the people that
(19:07):
are mempies and eighties. But canI tell you something. The people that
are meant to get it will getit, and the people that don't,
fuck you, can they here's myquestion. So we're in New York.
Can these people hear this podcast?Can they hear this this podcast? Or
they have to turn up their hearingaid? Wow? You know? Okay,
So back to New York. Sowe get there in ten and a
(19:30):
half hours because I'm a frank androck star from Milwaukee, which is from
Milwaukee, s thank you, andso I thought it was a good mixture
of like time with my family,time with your family whatever. One of
the days that we were there,my mom and I took the kids to
Canada. Because your passport isn't validanymore either, as my license I just
(19:52):
found out yesterday. Yeah, yourdaughter told you that, Yeah, your
your license expired in May. Right, I can still buy crack can beer?
Wow? Can you buy crack?No, you don't need a license
to do that. So while weare in Canada, we wanted to do
all of the like annoying touristy shitsthat you could, So we did the
mate of the mess no one goes, just so you know if you haven't
(20:14):
been to Nagara Falls before Canada,Like it's a quick, little like jaunt
from where we're it's an hour anda half from where we're from. And
there's the American side on Canadian side. American side it's kind of like burger
King. The Canadian side is morelike McDonald's. They're both gonna give you
diarrhea, but the McDonald's side diarrheaisn't gonna be a is the fries are
(20:36):
better. Yeah, the fries aredefinitely better the Canadian side. So I
would say the takeaway out of thewhole entire day in Canada, all the
tourist traps that we fell into,is I'm proud to admit that I gave
Olivia a trauma for later in life. In that trauma would be experiencing her
(21:00):
first haunted house. Yeah, andyou didn't even really do the haunted house,
didn't you just do these? Sothere's levels apparently kind of like hot
ones, and she got what werethe levels? It's like family friendly,
middle of the road, and thenlike like like saw like something, Yeah,
like a horror We're gonna take yourliver and leave you on a bathtub
(21:21):
something like you're actually gonna get lockedup or something. So anyway, obviously
we did the family friendly version andit's you know, Isaac, Olivia,
my mom and myself and so wego through and of course it's dark,
it's dimly lit. You can stillkind of see. I'm in the front,
which I'm not used to being becausewhen we do Halloween shits around back,
you're well, you're always in thefront because you're like a big burly
(21:44):
bear, and you'll protect me,ye be. So anyway, I'm in
the front. I'm the protector overmy children and my elderly mother. And
all of a sudden, the doorcloses behind us. The thing gets started,
and she starts screaming like someone choppedoff her arm from the second they
closed that door. So was sheokay walking into it? Like because you
(22:07):
walk up to this place, She'slike, she no, it's on Clifton
Hills. You can't miss it.I went to it when I was a
child. It's one of those likeCanada niagarafall staples. It'll never go away.
So yeah, she was. Shewas terrified the whole time. And
she's like, I'm gonna hate this. I'm gonna hate this. She was
never even giving herself an opportunity.So she screamed bloody murder throughout this whole
(22:32):
thing. I don't know it timestopped. It felt like we were in
there for forty five minutes forever itwas probably ten. Oh do you actually
okay? We get we get toa certain part and I said before it
was dimly lit. We get toa part where it's completely dark, like
you can't see anything in front ofyou. I because I'm in the lead.
I have a baseball cap on.All of a sudden, the brim
(22:52):
in my hat hit something hard.It's a wall. Because I can't see
anything, so I'm like, ohshit, I must have to turn here
the people jumping out at you.No, because it's a family friendly version,
Okay, it's literally just it's justdark. It's just dark. And
every once in a while you wouldsee like one of those glass cased windows
that might have like a spooky scene, like a like a medical thing or
(23:15):
a doll or something like that.But we weren't looking at anything. We
were basically running through this maze.So it was just dark, and every
once in a while you would hearlike a bang or like a thunder sound.
Yeah, that's so, that's allthat it was. There was no
people ring around the rosy. Itwasn't even that. You didn't even get
(23:37):
that far. It wasn't even thatbro It was like literally just like a
door smag like slamming. So weget to what I think is almost the
end and it's pitch dark. Allof a sudden, a light and she's
like screaming at me, turn theflashlight on your cell phone it. So
(23:59):
then we turn this one corner wecan see a little bit of light and
there's an exit sign, like oneof those like they have to put every
store everyone else they were really doingCanada that they kind of just throw it
in there once in a while.So anyway, she sees this, and
I swear to god, she startedlike she's in the back of us,
right because we're all protecting her.She pushes past all of us, almost
(24:23):
knocks my mom down to the ground, and she barrels out of that fucking
door like a mouse, and she'slike and she gets outside. Okay,
that was a recording from it.Okay, thanks, oh yow dude.
(24:47):
This show, when we do soundeffects is really when we're at our peak.
That in accents, doesn't let mefinish the fucking story. As soon
as the door opens, it's daylight. She's out in the alle it's not
it's not the stop interrupting for fuck'ssake, it's not the end of the
ride. It's the fucking it's likean emergency door if there's like a fire
(25:11):
or some shit. And I waslike, and there's like these rickety metal
stairs to go down, and Iwas like, Olivia you can't go down
that way. She's like, I'mdone. I don't care. You're not
making me go back inside. Andso the next thing you know, I'm
like, my mom's going back in. Isaac is going back and I'm like,
we're almost done with this ff andthing. All of a sudden,
a worker comes out of behind thewalls, like I don't know where he
was. He must have heard herscreaming the whole damn time, and he
(25:34):
goes, just go get her outof here, Just go walk down the
alley. You'll meet back out atthe beginning again like sting all the actors.
You're scaring the actual people, butyou're holding out the families behind you.
They're like, this is here becausewhen you when you do go into
one of those places, you hearpeople scream and you're like, oh shit,
(25:56):
right, because that's the worst part. Well we love it, like
well we love it. God.Haunted hay Ride and Halloween time. Isaac
has been asking for a while now, is this the year? Is this
the year that I can go withyou to the Haunted hay Ride? I
think I want to try it out. Whatever, we go through this bullshit.
And even though she was freaking out. He was silently freaking out,
(26:18):
And so as soon as we getoutside, everyone's safe, everything's braid again.
He looks at me and he goes, Yeah, So I don't think
this is going to be the yearfor the haunted hay Ride. Mom.
I don't think I'm ready yet.Just think about, like when you go
to see those haunted hey rides andyou see the kids that are like seven
years old that are better at thisshit than you are. Like I was
watching a nightmare on Elm Street atlike six, and yes it traumatized me,
(26:41):
and yes I still have childhood fearfrom it. You should have known
just from the beginning that this wasa bad idea, Like did at any
point did she say like, Okay, I thought it was going to be
campy, Like I went through itwhen I was younger than her, younger
than Isaac. But again, Iwas shown horror movies at a young age,
so I was already broken. ButI really didn't think it was going
(27:03):
to be that big of a dealat all, especially because I chose the
version. Yeah, and it wasjust dark, bro, Yeah, Like
it was just dark, and youwere there with me, and like you
know that it's like a bet,yeah that you pay for, Like you're
not actually gonna get injured. Yeah, you're not seeing like having a walk
through and look through the glass,like they're not gonna like rip the heads
(27:26):
off kittens or anything. You're welcome, Olivia. You now have something to
tell you. She is. WhatI love about her is her new thing,
not even new, the thing thatshe've been doing the last few months.
And it drives me insane. Isokay you hear thunder like jump scares
I get yeah, But she's onher phone, and I said, Olivia
at dinner time and she's sitting onthe couch fifteen feet away from me,
(27:48):
right Olivia dinner time. She doesn'thave earbuds on, she doesn't have anything
like that. So I walk overtour and I'm like, Olivia, you
just like you put your hand onher shoulder, didn't even touch her the
other day when she did it.Olivia dinner time and she goes. She
jumps like you just lit a firecrackernext to her. Makes me go insane
(28:12):
because I'm like, get, okay, jump because there's a noise, Jump
because you're startled, Jump because someonejumped out from behind a window or a
door, not because if someone jumpsout behind the door, that means you're
transparent. But it jumps out,I get it. But she goes because
you weren't ever that scared as akid, were you? Oh god,
no, even with all of mytrauma, what was the because you live
(28:33):
out in the middle of Oh god, here we go the hill Like if
you've seen the hills have Eyes,it's not even close. Steve is a
Steve's version, because we'll talk aboutwhere you came from. Go ahead.
I took let's compare and con dressactually, because that's a perfect because you're
just going to be inappropriate. Christie'sfrom the area of New York where it
(28:55):
the hills have Eyes. We wentto the fourth of July. There weren't
very many sleeps. There weren't verymany sleeves. It's where we fucking live
now, Douche Canoe. There isno different. I ended where I started.
It's not that bad here. Okay, have you been to Rock and
Rogers. That's a good point.You're right Rock and Rogers days, which
(29:15):
is, yeah, you're right aboutthat. When I was with Isaac,
I was like, Hey, there'sa Walmart right on the edge of town.
Going into the city of Rochester andI walked in and it is wild.
Yeah, it is a party there. Yeah. And I took Isaac
there because he's looking for fish stuff. When we were in New York and
I'm like, what do you thinkabout this place? And he's like,
(29:37):
why is everyone so loud? I'mlike, because it's the reason I'm so
loud, because you got things tosay. The other thing that I noticed
about New York is it smells likeweed everywhere nature. I go to the
amusement park, contact high. I'mhigh. That should be good though,
because then you don't have to likeactually buy the ship yourself. You just
have to breathe. All in all, I had a great time. I
know it want really fast. Iknow that there was like some unexpected hiccups
(30:02):
or whatever, but I you know, you had good time with your your
sister and your parents. I hada lot of time at the local bar.
You were at the bar every night. Mom said after I got home,
like we were home for like onenight, and she said that the
bar called her because it's like asmall town bar and asked where I was.
That's right, Yeah, they've missedme. I am iconic. I
(30:25):
can't tell if that's a joke ornot, but in both cases, I
would Actually I was living my bestJack Daniels week. You were going there
every single day, like we went. It was the third night and I
said, I'm I just can't anymore. Yeah, because you're you come from
like the school and the lifestyle oflike you want to go hang at the
bar and then just chill and talk. Like I just wanted to sit there
(30:48):
like they have it like a reallycool like outside patio area. You know,
there's nothing to do with the kidsare in bed, and I've never
whatever. I just wanted to sitout there, like I've romanticized a little
bit, and definitely like the youknow, becoming the alcoholic that just like
goes in and hangs out at thebar, you know what I mean,
or like maybe throws darts once ina while, Okay, but like I
know that that's like that's not whatI can do. Like you're the kind
(31:11):
of person that you can which iswhich is interesting because you are the social
creature out of the two of us, you are the one that that's where
you get energized. It's like frombeing around other people where that usually drains
me. But maybe it's because likeit's it's it's a small, yocal bar.
It's not like it's that busy.And I would also set out back
at the patio where I was basicallythe only one, you know. But
(31:33):
the other part to that is andI understand that, but even if it
was no matter where the bar is. Yeah, for me, I go
into a bar and like sitting atthe bar like small, talking with the
like the bartender. Ye don't likeit, okay, And it's nothing that
even if it because I'm I'm I'mthere to do a bit, I'm actually
a vampire. I want to suckyour energy. Oh wow, that's the
(31:56):
problem. Yeah, you should seesomeone about that. So the last night
that we were there, I draggedyou up there one last time and there
was there was a yokel that wasup there and I think his girlfriend worked
there, who cares, And hecame over and was absolutely just obnoxious,
intrusive the whole bet. Just youand I were in the middle of a
(32:19):
serious conversation, like we were actuallyat a serious points, like I had
tears in my eyes the whole betand he comes over and just sits down
like he doesn't even start to talkto us. He just like pulls up
a chair and he was like,hey, what's going on? How are
things? And you instantly like clench. I can see every muscle on you
(32:40):
tense up, tighten up, andI'm like, oh, fuck, here
we go. I can just sitthere and listen to him, even if
he's talking some freaking country yess bullshit. I can just listen to him because
that's what I did that. Iwas a bartender four five hundred years.
I got paid to do that,to listen to people's bullshit and let it
(33:05):
in one year and out the otherand not let it affect me at all,
but to be humble enough to say, well, he just needs someone
to listen to them. And itgot to the point where I said,
okay, you need to go now. I'm going to spend time with my
husband nice chatting with you so likeI know how to tap you out.
I was twenty minutes. I wasn'tgoing to let him there the whole night
(33:30):
until he felt bored and walked away. I'm gonna tap you out. I'm
gonna let you know what I'm donewith ya. Well, this is what
it's like. We have a friendsthat just went to Vegas for their anniversary
and I during their trip, theywent to one of those the things,
the time share things I can't like, so they could get like free dinner.
And I remember Corey Fola, whoI used to work with. She
went to a timeshare ones where aspart of it you got like a forty
(33:51):
two inch TV. Oh my god. And for me, I said,
well, how did it go?And he's like, well, we went
to the guy. He was supernice, We did the hour and half
presentation. You know, for Xamount of dollars a year, we could
own part of this hotel. It'sa great investment. Yeah, all the
shit right. And then I waslike, well, like and they just
you know, like because there's alwayslike a hard guy, and they're like,
(34:12):
yeah, the guy was really nice. And then the woman came and
she was the one where like oh, yeah, we're gonna get going,
and you know, she was reallykind of you know, persistent, persistent,
you know, a little bit rudeand like to the point with you
to our neighbors, to our friends, to our friends, Oh wow.
And to me, that's where I'mlike, because I just want to get
out of there. Yeah, doyou want to listen to the spiel.
(34:35):
You want to get your free day. And if I had money, okay,
I would own a little piece ofa hotel in every single city in
the country. Do you just getguilted into it? And because I'd rather
just pay than have to listen,buddy, I know. Well that's what
I'm here for, thank you.I'm here to help you tap out.
(34:57):
So, speaking of tapping out,I have to go make dinner, all
right, thanks for listening. Itgoes both ways with Christian Steve, No,
with us, you are the worstat improv games. I don't give
the game with it. Fuck nevermind,
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