May 4, 2023 • 28 mins
A number of new segments on the birthday edition of the podcast. What happens when you've enjoyed some THC and you look up at the sky? After popular demand, Isaac is back with some jokes to put you in the mood and we dive deep and talk about Jon Bon Jovi and Gwyneth Paltrow.
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Follow us on instagram. @MakeKristyFamous and @SteveLaTart
Thank you to one of our sponsors, Synk Graphics, a commercial printing company in Minneapolis St. Paul, MN that creates custom vinyl graphics for business customers all around the US.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Are you excited, Yeah, Imean we're we'll talk about all about the
excitement coming around my birthday and alsowhat happened when under the influence of THHC,
the things that you think, thatthe ideas that you have, the
exploration that you go on. Somemight call them brilliant in what I say
some I mean you and only you. That's all coming up along with a
(00:23):
brand new segment call Actually, Idon't want to tease a segment. I
want you to hear this brand newsegment that has an intro at everything that's
really hacky. That's all right nowand it goes both ways with CHRISTI and
Steve Dapping right. See, well, thank you, Thank you for recognizing
(01:02):
that. I'm right, it doeshappen. It's probably because one of recording
list. Tomorrow is my birthday,Ella birthday. It is your birthday at
Sinko Day, Steve, It's right, happy birthday. So how are you
feeling about your birthday? Actually,I'm gonna I'm gonna pause you right there
before you answer. I know howyou're feeling already because your sweetheart daughter,
(01:26):
who was concerned about you most days, said, Dad, are you so
excited for your birthday because she isexcited to celebrate you. And what did
you say? I said no,like in the most quintessential your voice I
have ever heard. You're like,no, why would I be? My
(01:48):
life is crab? Well? Isshe just deflated in front of me?
I can't. I can't actually denythat I said that kind of stuff.
And because I've never been and I'msomeone like I've never been someone that's like
really ben fulfilled by my birthday honestly. Oh, I mean it's not that
I'm like a was getting older.Twenty birthdays that I did shit for you
(02:15):
meant nothing. All those like birthdaysbefore that that your mom did shit meant
nothing. No, well no theydid like the things that people are thinking
about me right now. Oh godsee, because now that's where like the
other like the anxiety and the therapypart of me goes like, oh,
I should be like thanking the personand I do thank you and I'm appreciative,
Like when I turned forty, likeyou threw a party that was awesome.
(02:37):
There was one time years ago thatyou did a surprise birthday for me
that meant a lot at like whenwe went to like the like you actually
blindfolded me, and I think thatyou drove me in a direction that didn't
make any sense to where we aregoing to try to trick me. And
I still was able to figure itout because I have you don't have a
compass inside of my body. Youdo not have a compass or spidy senses.
(03:00):
It was because some douchebag car salesmanthat was a regular because it was
when I was working at the barwhere we met, and so like this
douchebag like texted you and was like, oh, I'll see you tonight,
bro, And I'm like, youfucking ass white. Yeah, you're You're
right about that. I forgot aboutthat part of it. Um, I
(03:20):
don't know. I'm not dreading gettingolder. Well, why would you?
You're a fine wine. I suremy mom told me yesterday at fifty is
when everyone says that things are fun. Um, and I'm not keep waiting.
I supposed to wait until that happened. Yeah. I feel like I
feel like late twenties early thirties werefun, and well that was, but
(03:45):
it was also I feel like nowit's just but I think that we say
that it was fun, but howmuch of it was actually fun? And
how much of it was a hangover, because that's the sort of thing where,
of course I agree with you thereare parts of like the twenties and
like younger dirties that was a blastand quote unquote care free. But if
you're listening to the show, whichthat means that you're probably in your thirties
(04:08):
or forties, because I can't foreseeanyone under thirty relating to this dumpster.
We look at it through rose colorglasses. Like you actually said to me
today, Oh, that says youhave that tattoo. That says that I
forgot. Okay, anyway, whatyou brought up to me today. You're
like, maybe it's just time.But like I got the feeling that you
(04:28):
were basically insinuating that the good olddays were when I worked at the radio
station. Oh wow, Okay,And that was a whole big conversation.
So I don't want you to oversimplifyit too much. I said, perhaps
I was viewing that era of yourlife much like you would a past relationship,
(04:51):
where you only see the positive andyou forget like how awful it was
like because you're just looking back onfond memories. So I asked you what
your vision of looking back on itwas because as your partner, you seemed
to be a more jovial, happy, creative, energetic type of person than
(05:17):
you are right now. I haveto be my own like a hype man,
like like I was part of somethingbefore and now there's no I don't
have. You were someone's hype manbefore that, and so now maybe it's
your come uppans. Maybe you wantsomeone to be your hype man. What
are you doing with your hands?Are you pushing away something from your face?
(05:39):
No? I was trying to beyour hype man. You were being
a hype man already. When didyou become my ninth grade math teacher,
(06:01):
mister deer the Roof. I'd liketo do a new segment of the show
called THHC Thoughts. Okay, thatwas quick, quick, quick. So
last night we were hanging up witha bunch of friends and I was I
had like a THHC drink and theyalso slipped me like a little piece of
a THHC gummy and I felt warmand I felt good, okay, And
(06:25):
we were all sitting outside, andthis is where I want you to think
about this, Okay, So wewere thinking. We were outside and at
one point, we said, what'sthat bright star in the sky? And
I got the star light app whateverit's called. I looked up and it
was Venus. Are you what areyou doing with your face right now?
I'm just smiling at you. I'mwaiting to see, like where you're going
to take this? So wisdom underthe influence of THHC last night. So
(06:47):
we know that the Sun is themiddle of our galaxy, and that we
rotate around the Sun. Along withVenus and Mars and Jupiter and Uranus.
We all rotate in a clockwise rotationaround the Sun. Didn't they cancel Uranus
(07:09):
when you look up this guy andyou see a planet because the Sun is
reflecting off the planet and then comingback at us. Sure. Here's my
second question though, all the otherstars, like the North Star, the
part of the Big Dipper, youknow, the stars that are in there,
Are they all their own sun orown little galaxy with planets or whatever
(07:31):
else around them? Because because aren'tstars just basically they're balls of gas?
Much like Uranus. Isn't the Suna ball of gas? I can't tell
if you're being serious, Like thewhole entire galaxy is moving through the universe
oh yeah, you're going somewhere like, how far is the closest star?
(07:53):
Like, what's your guess? I'mgonna google it right now because I haven't
done this yet because I was highas fuck. I feel like you're still
having chemtrails of it happening for youright now. Now. I'm gonna look
right now, how far is theclosest star? What's your guess? Just
make a guess. I'm gonna say, Oh fuck, this is gonna sound
(08:18):
so stupid if I'm wrong. I'mgonna say, like five hundred thousand miles?
Is that crazy? Okay? I'mnot I'm not good with distance.
Okay, I found it on yEncyclopedia Britannica. It's got to be a
legit. Then the closest star,Proxemia Centuria, is approximately four point two
(08:43):
four light years away. Oh wow, yeah, so I wasn't even closely.
A light year is nine point fouror four trillion kilometers yeah, or
five point eight eight trillion miles.Yeah, so I said five hundred thousand
miles. My god. Okay,So then my next question is, like,
(09:03):
so, then like a man hasonly been like you know, like
really like modern man. Like let'ssay maybe three hundred years, four hundred
years. I'm saying modern wildtail matriarchyman, okay, or patriarchy man,
okay. We've never had a matriarchyor the entire world, you know,
the whole civilization would collapse. Butlet's say again this THHC Steve talking all
(09:28):
right, like it's trillions of milesaway, but like three hundred or a
thousand years ago, were we anycloser to the stars, Because do we
move towards those stars, are theygetting closer further away or are they also
(09:48):
moving away from us at the sametime. Dude, think about it.
I know this is tough. Yeah, I'll stay up to you thinking about
it. Dude, are you gonnajust because if we're moving through the ethos
at a speed of wouldn't you thinkover a certain aunt of time we'd get
a little bit closer. No.I feel like there's probably science evolved to
prove that theory incorrect. This isTHHC Talk with Steve Eve. This is
(10:15):
THHC Talk with Steve. Come andplay that pars come and play. Do
you know that scientists just watched agiant star eat a planet and it's caught
on tape. So you can goto the interlink and watch it yourself.
(10:37):
That it's only a matter of timebefore our sun in the sky turns into
a red giant in each the fourplanets closest in its path, including our
own. Did I just unlock anew fear? No, fear, that
fear doesn't. I'm not worried aboutgood because according to science, it's not
(11:01):
going to happen for another five billionyears. Billions and billions of years will
go by before we get gobbled up. You never know when it's going to
happen. I hope that when Idie, that that's when I find out,
Like the timeline from for some ofthe other shit going on, what
does that mean? Like when's theEarth going to explode? What you feel
like this big book of revelation isgoing to open up for you? Like
(11:24):
like they talk about like when youget up to the curly the curly gates.
That's that's a gate I want togo to, Dude, that's the
curly gates. Yep. When youget up to the curly gates and they
open the door to my anus.Oh um No. But when you get
up to the curly gates and youget there and they let you in stuff
(11:46):
like that. It's like, oh, you can see your family and friends.
I want to know, like thegood secrets. That's what I like.
Think about what are the things youwant to know? Like I want
to know like jfk oh, God, Steve. I want to know like
the alien stuff, the original Thethings that I really want to know are
like Egyptians and the Pyramid, Likehow did that? All of the buried
civilizations that will never realize that we'reactually there? Yeah, because they're so
(12:09):
far I think that, So youwant you want Heaven to be like a
history book that's accurate? That too, okay? And I'd also like,
and I'm not kidding about this becausethere's a writer strike. Oh that's going
to be going on right now.Yes, I think that when you get
up to Heaven, all your favoriteTV shows that had shit endings get redone
(12:31):
okay and done in a better way. Okay, friends, I would redo
they had a great ending. Iactually disagree with that. Wow, how
would you have ended it? Likein Okay, so you're in heaven.
It's your perfect ending, perfect ending. Ross and Rachel broke up. Ross
and Rachel like she did not getoff the airplane. Is that what you
(12:52):
think they can get off the airplane. But I think that there needed to
be like another one, like likeJoey and Phoebe. I always felt that
they should have been together, andit was silly that they didn't do anything.
Like if they're gonna if you're gonnamatch up the other four and you
just leave the other two, that'sdisrespectful. It is disrespectful. Another thing
that's disrespectful is what I'm about tosay. Unpopular opinion. I think that
Chandler and Monica should not have gottentogether. Maybe hooked up, yeah,
(13:16):
but not like stayed together for thelong haul. I feel like his lobster
sole mate was Janice. Unpopular opinion. Of course, what other show?
Other show that I wish that Icould redo that. I saw the ending
of UM. I can't believe thatit's taking you so long? Oh West
Wing, No Sopranos, black screenof death. Yeah, you're right fucking
(13:37):
through the TV out of the window. I was so annoyed. It was
a shit ending. You're right aboutit. I was furious because I don't
because that's the problem is that theDavid Chase, that's his name, like
he's come out, he's like madelike, oh supposed to be. It
was an artistic decision, right,I believe that's the buck. Then that's
where I say fuck, that's whereI say. Like, there was that
(14:00):
movie get Out that came out likeyears ago where they had two versions of
the movie at the end, theone where he got away and you know,
killed everybody or whatever, and thenthere was another version where like they
ran into the cops and then heended up getting killed. I appreciated the
way that they ended the movie becauseit was I don't remember it. It
was a good ending, yeah,but they had the alternate same thing.
(14:22):
You are one thousand percent right aboutthat show. That show should have had
the ending redone. It'd be niceif they had like alternate endings that you
could go and see. Just becauseI haven't done this in years, I'd
like to do something on the podcastright now, something I haven't done on
this podcast ever. Nope, never, kind of can't. Maybe I can
(14:43):
wait. Just hold how old areyou? Bro? Well? That was
bad? How old are you?That's not what I was expected? Okay,
(15:03):
in this moment, do you feelpleased with yourself or ashamed of yourself?
And I bought Okay, okay,okay, I only have one thought
or feeling out of those two.What was it only one? What resonates
for me? Shame? I'm ashamedof you. Oh it's shameful. Oh
(15:24):
you just did. Here's about likethat's something that our son Isaac would do.
I know, but that's why.But he's eleven. But he's eleven,
and your birthdays tomorrow and your oldestship for three Now that's how old
you are? You forget hold youare? Yeah? First sign all downhill?
Like That's another thing that I've beenthinking about recently is yesterday I was
(15:45):
upstairs pissed off, Like do youhave that moment where you're walking around and
you're like, I can't find something. I couldn't find my belt. I'm
walking, Oh my god, thisis the best story, walking all around
the bathroom and I walk into theand I'm looking through my hamper. I
also can't find my earbuds right now, but that's for later. So I'm
walking around I can't find you camedownstairs where I was working, piste off,
(16:10):
like just muttering under your breath.You are still mad. And if
Isaac wasn't homesick, I would havebeen like you motherfucker, fuck shit,
fuck, goddamn it. That's howyou deal with my problems? Is I
just swear quietly and or like likejust thinking if I let that poison out
of my body that it will helpme like refocus and find it. So
(16:32):
I look everywhere I look underneath clothes. I spent a good five to seven
minutes, and then I stopped andI lifted my shirt and the belt I
was looking for was on my waist. And I started to think to myself,
like I love it, Like Iknow like dementia or psychosis or any
mental things. I'm not making ajoke about it. Like that's my question
(16:55):
is like, how do you knowthat it's happening? Oh god, buddy,
because one thing that obviously that's whathappened. But that's another thing where
it's like, hmm, eat yourwheaties, now, take your vitamins.
Take you eat your weaties now,Yeah, eat your weaties. Remember that
commercial when we were kids. No, just me, Okay, you're not
(17:17):
that old. You're fine. Iwould like to get to our son Isaac
because we have him back on theshow. He was on the show two
weeks ago, and he rushed backby popular demand. Yeah, so he's
homesick. He's got some kind ofcough thing that has been lasting way longer
than it probably should. But mSo, we have this new segment we're
(17:37):
gonna test out with them called DudeThat's Sick. That's coming off in just
a second. But first I readsomething. I learned something about cats.
Now, we have a neighbor namedMarcy that we call She hates cash.
She wants nothing to do with cats. She hates all animals. She's a
teacher and she has to do withlike a little Chicki's in her classroom every
single year, and she's like,they're cute when they're like baby for about
(18:00):
the first five days. But assoon as they like actually grow kind of
like feathers and things like that,then she wants them out. She doesn't
have interest, right, And partof the reason that she hates cats so
much, as she said as achild that there was a cat of a
friend's house that jumped in the airand without hitting anything else, change direction
and attacked her directly. Oh mygod, Now again that is physically impossible.
(18:26):
That is a made a fucking story. But maybe I'm wrong because because
again I still don't think that she'sright. But I read a whole article
because back in eighteen hundred something,there was a photographer that actually took a
picture of a cat being dropped andtook like multiple pictures. Okay, And
(18:48):
why it like blew everyone's mind isbecause the cat was upside down. But
obviously we all know you know,cats laying on her feet. How was
that possible? Well, I learnedhow it is possible because it's actually very
very interesting. So when a catis dropped, how their body is like
very like nimble. Well, weare not condoning dropping your cat to prove
(19:11):
this theory, by the way,I mean if you want to, though,
No, we're not condoning it.I mean cats are evil. So
there's something about like basically what theydo is they tuck into a ball and
like the top part of their body, their their paws like kind of go
in and they actually turn like fromlike I don't I want to say a
cat's belly button up. Yeah,yeah, they're waiste up. They actually
(19:33):
are able to turn, which thenrotates their tail legs and that's how they're
able to do it. Now,if you and I were dropped on our
back and we were asked to turn. That would be near impossible, like
especially like from a dropped position rightlike a hanging you would, yeah,
you, because you don't have anythingto push off of. But cats have
(19:55):
a freak skills and basically freak coreto be able to like change the way
that their body works. Wow.And I thought that that was fascinating.
I don't know if it's fascinating,but it sounds pretty cool. For a
minute, let's get into Isaac's newfeature. Dude, that's sick. You're
(20:15):
in this our little porch swing thatI built. How safe is the porch
swing that I built years ago?Not at all? Since you're homesick today,
Well, he's been homesick. He'sbeen homesick all week. Yeah,
well you went to school on Monday. So we have a new feature that
we're gonna try out for the showcalled That's Sick. Bro, that's sick.
(20:37):
We can be as loud as wewant. There's nobody around. It's
the middle of the day at ourhome. And Christie thinks that she saw
people go on door door like Jehovah'switnesses. But I don't think that they
were I think that they were actuallyour neighbors dressing. Maybe they well,
they weren't our neighbors at all,and they definitely had Paisley dresses on and
clipboards. And I think they skippedour house because we knew, they knew
(21:02):
that we weren't right with the Lord. Let's get to the jokes on,
Bro, that's sick. Isaac asa job was to put together some jokes.
What do you call murderer with twobutts? I don't know what do
you call murderer with two butts?In assassin? Because it's like ass but
like assassin. That's sick. Today. I asked my phone, Sirie,
(21:26):
why am I single? Um?And it activated the front camera. Bro,
that's sick. That's like your teenageused that. That's true. That's
sad. Why did the mafia cross? Just you know, I technically did
have a phone where I was ateenager. Okay, BlackBerry, No,
BlackBerry wasn't a thing. I hadto get like a really long extension cord.
(21:48):
I went to to the store andI got a telephone line and I
hooked it up in my parents mainone and I brought bring it bringed and
brought it brewed it all the wayto my bedroom. So I could talk
on the phone to my girlfriend atnight, Leslie. Yeah, your imagine
everyone. Okay, Um, whydid the mafia cross the road? Why
forget about it? Bro, that'ssick. Obviously we thought it was dude,
(22:17):
that's sick. No, but itwas Bro. That's sick. But
anyway, we haven't done this inquite a long time. I wanted to
pull up on Reddit. One ofmy favorite subreddits is shower thoughts, and
these are things that people come upwith under the influence maybe wall taking a
shower or or I think usually likeit's probably what happens most times when you're
(22:41):
bored. You start thinking, sorry, I'm burping, You start thinking about
something just threw up a little bittasted like Italian m So, like,
I just want to read you forthis year the top five shower thoughts,
and I want to get your opinion. You're ready. It's not till you
work your retail job that you realizethat eighty five percent of people are dumb
(23:03):
as rocks. Absolutely, I mean, no matter what it is, I
had to call customer service today,and the entire time I'm on with customer
service, I'm a self aware enoughto know that there is an eighty five
percent chance that I'm a dumb fuckthat doesn't know how to do something so
basic that luckily this person was alsoa dumb fuck and they also couldn't figure
(23:23):
it out. But that's the kindof thing that happens. Generation X and
millennials will probably be the first generationin recent history to tell their kids about
how much easier life was when theywere kids. Absolutely, amen, or
was the best generation? You think? So? Really? Fuck yes,
(23:44):
dude, Gen X rules The originalvoice actors of Mickey Mouse and Mini Mouse
are married, So do you knowthat there's a good chance that they've done
Mickey and Mini voices during sex?Ill it's a good that's a good question.
I don't want to think about thehappiest place on Earth with that mindset.
Thank you very much. On thetopic of famously, but I saw
(24:07):
Howard Stern had John bon Jovi andbon Jovi's wife John bon Jovi's wife on
his show today or yesterday, doesn'tmatter, and he asked, it's such
a stupid hack question, but it'salso a question. It heads has to
be sometimes true. If John bonJovi ever listens to his music while making
love, Oh like, it's somethingyou created maybe the first time, but
(24:29):
obviously like the hits like slippery whenwet, you're not going to be banging
that when you're banging and what Iand the second note like this is very
shallow and I know this, Butbon Jovi looks his age. He looks
great. Yeah, his wife looksher age. But do you think because
(24:49):
she's not in the spotlight as muchlike she's a high school sweetheart of his,
do you think that she gets thesame care for her face that he
does. You're dig in a hole, real deep. It's okay for women
to age, Steve. Women don'tneed surgery to age, Steve. The
(25:12):
anti aging movement needs to go withthe patriarchy, Steve. I have no
issue again with aging, I haveno issue with any of that. Beauty
industry is criminal, Steve. Okay, the beauty industry is criminal. But
this is my point. I'm pullingup this clip did John in the bedroom
(25:34):
on that night? Always? Okay, she's adorable, she looks like a
woman should look. She looks likea woman her of her age should look.
But then she's not filled with garbageand chemicals. But now I'm pulling
up a picture of John bon Jovi. Okay, he looks he's definitely had
some kind of lifting, and sodo you think it's the xy like if
(25:56):
if I would, I don't knowhow to say this in the best way.
Just man, he's the package.He's what they sell, right,
He's the reason that they have aridiculous amount of money. And he's an
artist. She has never knows whatshe's done. She could be a CEO
of a fucking company. Yes,she could be a boss aass bitch.
Don't call her down. I'm notcutting her down, but she but she's
not in the limelight. That's mypoint. Okay, Okay, she's not
(26:18):
in the limelight. So if shewere in the lot, do you think
that's why. Maybe it's because she'snot in the limelight. So she's like,
hey, I mean I thought that. I think that even if she
was in the limelight, she shouldlook how she fucking looks. And it
doesn't goddamn matter period. Dot Onthe topic of people that look gray and
beautiful people I did listen to andoh yeah, of course I did.
(26:42):
I was thinking that. Another podcastI listened to is I listened to The
Call Her Daddy with Gwyneth Paltrow.Which I hate her. I know that
you don't like her, but Ifind it fascinating because she talks a lot
like the Call Her Daddy podcast.The girl that's on It doesn't matter,
doesn't don't remember her name care she'sasking about like she got into like dating
(27:07):
Brad Pitt and dating yeah, Gwynethand being engaged to Brad Pitt, like
they broke off the engagement like fifteenmonths later when she won the Academy Award
or a year later, and likethat was the next time that she actually
ran into and saw Brad Pitt.Was like while she was on stage,
the girl is still thirsty for thepit because she was asked a favorite person
(27:30):
like out of your exis between Benand Brad. I forgot that she dated
Ben until you told me this lastnight, Like I don't want to say
that she made it sound like BenAffleck was a douchebag because she was very
look at his face, but shesaid, um that Ben like would make
funny faces like in the mirror.That was like something that he would do,
like but like to make you laugh, not being serious, but Brad
(27:55):
Pitt to me, and it maybebecause like all the stuff with Angela and
Jolie. He's got a little bitof like alien into him, like because
he's such a huge actor that hedoesn't seem like he would be able to
deal with mortals. And I'm notsaying Gwenna Peltro's a fucking mortal, okay,
But every time she would talk aboutlike best in bed Brad Pitt,
like most like you liked Brad Pitt, Like talk about a girl who's the
(28:18):
gene has seen some of the bestin the world. She made a business
based on a candle that smells likeher vijen. She's fucking crazy in anything
she says doesn't matter. I kindof want to smell the candle and I
kind of do the say I wasgonna do more shower thoughts, but you
know what, I can't get muchbetter than that. So thanks for listening
(28:40):
to this birthday edition. He goesboth way through Christy and Steve, Happy
Birthday. Steve plays on We'll seeyou next time.
Are you excited, Yeah, Imean we're we'll talk about all about the
excitement coming around my birthday and alsowhat happened when under the influence of THHC,
the things that you think, thatthe ideas that you have, the
exploration that you go on. Somemight call them brilliant in what I say
some I mean you and only you. That's all coming up along with a
(00:23):
brand new segment call Actually, Idon't want to tease a segment. I
want you to hear this brand newsegment that has an intro at everything that's
really hacky. That's all right nowand it goes both ways with CHRISTI and
Steve Dapping right. See, well, thank you, Thank you for recognizing
(01:02):
that. I'm right, it doeshappen. It's probably because one of recording
list. Tomorrow is my birthday,Ella birthday. It is your birthday at
Sinko Day, Steve, It's right, happy birthday. So how are you
feeling about your birthday? Actually,I'm gonna I'm gonna pause you right there
before you answer. I know howyou're feeling already because your sweetheart daughter,
(01:26):
who was concerned about you most days, said, Dad, are you so
excited for your birthday because she isexcited to celebrate you. And what did
you say? I said no,like in the most quintessential your voice I
have ever heard. You're like,no, why would I be? My
(01:48):
life is crab? Well? Isshe just deflated in front of me?
I can't. I can't actually denythat I said that kind of stuff.
And because I've never been and I'msomeone like I've never been someone that's like
really ben fulfilled by my birthday honestly. Oh, I mean it's not that
I'm like a was getting older.Twenty birthdays that I did shit for you
(02:15):
meant nothing. All those like birthdaysbefore that that your mom did shit meant
nothing. No, well no theydid like the things that people are thinking
about me right now. Oh godsee, because now that's where like the
other like the anxiety and the therapypart of me goes like, oh,
I should be like thanking the personand I do thank you and I'm appreciative,
Like when I turned forty, likeyou threw a party that was awesome.
(02:37):
There was one time years ago thatyou did a surprise birthday for me
that meant a lot at like whenwe went to like the like you actually
blindfolded me, and I think thatyou drove me in a direction that didn't
make any sense to where we aregoing to try to trick me. And
I still was able to figure itout because I have you don't have a
compass inside of my body. Youdo not have a compass or spidy senses.
(03:00):
It was because some douchebag car salesmanthat was a regular because it was
when I was working at the barwhere we met, and so like this
douchebag like texted you and was like, oh, I'll see you tonight,
bro, And I'm like, youfucking ass white. Yeah, you're You're
right about that. I forgot aboutthat part of it. Um, I
(03:20):
don't know. I'm not dreading gettingolder. Well, why would you?
You're a fine wine. I suremy mom told me yesterday at fifty is
when everyone says that things are fun. Um, and I'm not keep waiting.
I supposed to wait until that happened. Yeah. I feel like I
feel like late twenties early thirties werefun, and well that was, but
(03:45):
it was also I feel like nowit's just but I think that we say
that it was fun, but howmuch of it was actually fun? And
how much of it was a hangover, because that's the sort of thing where,
of course I agree with you thereare parts of like the twenties and
like younger dirties that was a blastand quote unquote care free. But if
you're listening to the show, whichthat means that you're probably in your thirties
(04:08):
or forties, because I can't foreseeanyone under thirty relating to this dumpster.
We look at it through rose colorglasses. Like you actually said to me
today, Oh, that says youhave that tattoo. That says that I
forgot. Okay, anyway, whatyou brought up to me today. You're
like, maybe it's just time.But like I got the feeling that you
(04:28):
were basically insinuating that the good olddays were when I worked at the radio
station. Oh wow, Okay,And that was a whole big conversation.
So I don't want you to oversimplifyit too much. I said, perhaps
I was viewing that era of yourlife much like you would a past relationship,
(04:51):
where you only see the positive andyou forget like how awful it was
like because you're just looking back onfond memories. So I asked you what
your vision of looking back on itwas because as your partner, you seemed
to be a more jovial, happy, creative, energetic type of person than
(05:17):
you are right now. I haveto be my own like a hype man,
like like I was part of somethingbefore and now there's no I don't
have. You were someone's hype manbefore that, and so now maybe it's
your come uppans. Maybe you wantsomeone to be your hype man. What
are you doing with your hands?Are you pushing away something from your face?
(05:39):
No? I was trying to beyour hype man. You were being
a hype man already. When didyou become my ninth grade math teacher,
(06:01):
mister deer the Roof. I'd liketo do a new segment of the show
called THHC Thoughts. Okay, thatwas quick, quick, quick. So
last night we were hanging up witha bunch of friends and I was I
had like a THHC drink and theyalso slipped me like a little piece of
a THHC gummy and I felt warmand I felt good, okay, And
(06:25):
we were all sitting outside, andthis is where I want you to think
about this, Okay, So wewere thinking. We were outside and at
one point, we said, what'sthat bright star in the sky? And
I got the star light app whateverit's called. I looked up and it
was Venus. Are you what areyou doing with your face right now?
I'm just smiling at you. I'mwaiting to see, like where you're going
to take this? So wisdom underthe influence of THHC last night. So
(06:47):
we know that the Sun is themiddle of our galaxy, and that we
rotate around the Sun. Along withVenus and Mars and Jupiter and Uranus.
We all rotate in a clockwise rotationaround the Sun. Didn't they cancel Uranus
(07:09):
when you look up this guy andyou see a planet because the Sun is
reflecting off the planet and then comingback at us. Sure. Here's my
second question though, all the otherstars, like the North Star, the
part of the Big Dipper, youknow, the stars that are in there,
Are they all their own sun orown little galaxy with planets or whatever
(07:31):
else around them? Because because aren'tstars just basically they're balls of gas?
Much like Uranus. Isn't the Suna ball of gas? I can't tell
if you're being serious, Like thewhole entire galaxy is moving through the universe
oh yeah, you're going somewhere like, how far is the closest star?
(07:53):
Like, what's your guess? I'mgonna google it right now because I haven't
done this yet because I was highas fuck. I feel like you're still
having chemtrails of it happening for youright now. Now. I'm gonna look
right now, how far is theclosest star? What's your guess? Just
make a guess. I'm gonna say, Oh fuck, this is gonna sound
(08:18):
so stupid if I'm wrong. I'mgonna say, like five hundred thousand miles?
Is that crazy? Okay? I'mnot I'm not good with distance.
Okay, I found it on yEncyclopedia Britannica. It's got to be a
legit. Then the closest star,Proxemia Centuria, is approximately four point two
(08:43):
four light years away. Oh wow, yeah, so I wasn't even closely.
A light year is nine point fouror four trillion kilometers yeah, or
five point eight eight trillion miles.Yeah, so I said five hundred thousand
miles. My god. Okay,So then my next question is, like,
(09:03):
so, then like a man hasonly been like you know, like
really like modern man. Like let'ssay maybe three hundred years, four hundred
years. I'm saying modern wildtail matriarchyman, okay, or patriarchy man,
okay. We've never had a matriarchyor the entire world, you know,
the whole civilization would collapse. Butlet's say again this THHC Steve talking all
(09:28):
right, like it's trillions of milesaway, but like three hundred or a
thousand years ago, were we anycloser to the stars, Because do we
move towards those stars, are theygetting closer further away or are they also
(09:48):
moving away from us at the sametime. Dude, think about it.
I know this is tough. Yeah, I'll stay up to you thinking about
it. Dude, are you gonnajust because if we're moving through the ethos
at a speed of wouldn't you thinkover a certain aunt of time we'd get
a little bit closer. No.I feel like there's probably science evolved to
prove that theory incorrect. This isTHHC Talk with Steve Eve. This is
(10:15):
THHC Talk with Steve. Come andplay that pars come and play. Do
you know that scientists just watched agiant star eat a planet and it's caught
on tape. So you can goto the interlink and watch it yourself.
(10:37):
That it's only a matter of timebefore our sun in the sky turns into
a red giant in each the fourplanets closest in its path, including our
own. Did I just unlock anew fear? No, fear, that
fear doesn't. I'm not worried aboutgood because according to science, it's not
(11:01):
going to happen for another five billionyears. Billions and billions of years will
go by before we get gobbled up. You never know when it's going to
happen. I hope that when Idie, that that's when I find out,
Like the timeline from for some ofthe other shit going on, what
does that mean? Like when's theEarth going to explode? What you feel
like this big book of revelation isgoing to open up for you? Like
(11:24):
like they talk about like when youget up to the curly the curly gates.
That's that's a gate I want togo to, Dude, that's the
curly gates. Yep. When youget up to the curly gates and they
open the door to my anus.Oh um No. But when you get
up to the curly gates and youget there and they let you in stuff
(11:46):
like that. It's like, oh, you can see your family and friends.
I want to know, like thegood secrets. That's what I like.
Think about what are the things youwant to know? Like I want
to know like jfk oh, God, Steve. I want to know like
the alien stuff, the original Thethings that I really want to know are
like Egyptians and the Pyramid, Likehow did that? All of the buried
civilizations that will never realize that we'reactually there? Yeah, because they're so
(12:09):
far I think that, So youwant you want Heaven to be like a
history book that's accurate? That too, okay? And I'd also like,
and I'm not kidding about this becausethere's a writer strike. Oh that's going
to be going on right now.Yes, I think that when you get
up to Heaven, all your favoriteTV shows that had shit endings get redone
(12:31):
okay and done in a better way. Okay, friends, I would redo
they had a great ending. Iactually disagree with that. Wow, how
would you have ended it? Likein Okay, so you're in heaven.
It's your perfect ending, perfect ending. Ross and Rachel broke up. Ross
and Rachel like she did not getoff the airplane. Is that what you
(12:52):
think they can get off the airplane. But I think that there needed to
be like another one, like likeJoey and Phoebe. I always felt that
they should have been together, andit was silly that they didn't do anything.
Like if they're gonna if you're gonnamatch up the other four and you
just leave the other two, that'sdisrespectful. It is disrespectful. Another thing
that's disrespectful is what I'm about tosay. Unpopular opinion. I think that
Chandler and Monica should not have gottentogether. Maybe hooked up, yeah,
(13:16):
but not like stayed together for thelong haul. I feel like his lobster
sole mate was Janice. Unpopular opinion. Of course, what other show?
Other show that I wish that Icould redo that. I saw the ending
of UM. I can't believe thatit's taking you so long? Oh West
Wing, No Sopranos, black screenof death. Yeah, you're right fucking
(13:37):
through the TV out of the window. I was so annoyed. It was
a shit ending. You're right aboutit. I was furious because I don't
because that's the problem is that theDavid Chase, that's his name, like
he's come out, he's like madelike, oh supposed to be. It
was an artistic decision, right,I believe that's the buck. Then that's
where I say fuck, that's whereI say. Like, there was that
(14:00):
movie get Out that came out likeyears ago where they had two versions of
the movie at the end, theone where he got away and you know,
killed everybody or whatever, and thenthere was another version where like they
ran into the cops and then heended up getting killed. I appreciated the
way that they ended the movie becauseit was I don't remember it. It
was a good ending, yeah,but they had the alternate same thing.
(14:22):
You are one thousand percent right aboutthat show. That show should have had
the ending redone. It'd be niceif they had like alternate endings that you
could go and see. Just becauseI haven't done this in years, I'd
like to do something on the podcastright now, something I haven't done on
this podcast ever. Nope, never, kind of can't. Maybe I can
(14:43):
wait. Just hold how old areyou? Bro? Well? That was
bad? How old are you?That's not what I was expected? Okay,
(15:03):
in this moment, do you feelpleased with yourself or ashamed of yourself?
And I bought Okay, okay,okay, I only have one thought
or feeling out of those two.What was it only one? What resonates
for me? Shame? I'm ashamedof you. Oh it's shameful. Oh
(15:24):
you just did. Here's about likethat's something that our son Isaac would do.
I know, but that's why.But he's eleven. But he's eleven,
and your birthdays tomorrow and your oldestship for three Now that's how old
you are? You forget hold youare? Yeah? First sign all downhill?
Like That's another thing that I've beenthinking about recently is yesterday I was
(15:45):
upstairs pissed off, Like do youhave that moment where you're walking around and
you're like, I can't find something. I couldn't find my belt. I'm
walking, Oh my god, thisis the best story, walking all around
the bathroom and I walk into theand I'm looking through my hamper. I
also can't find my earbuds right now, but that's for later. So I'm
walking around I can't find you camedownstairs where I was working, piste off,
(16:10):
like just muttering under your breath.You are still mad. And if
Isaac wasn't homesick, I would havebeen like you motherfucker, fuck shit,
fuck, goddamn it. That's howyou deal with my problems? Is I
just swear quietly and or like likejust thinking if I let that poison out
of my body that it will helpme like refocus and find it. So
(16:32):
I look everywhere I look underneath clothes. I spent a good five to seven
minutes, and then I stopped andI lifted my shirt and the belt I
was looking for was on my waist. And I started to think to myself,
like I love it, Like Iknow like dementia or psychosis or any
mental things. I'm not making ajoke about it. Like that's my question
(16:55):
is like, how do you knowthat it's happening? Oh god, buddy,
because one thing that obviously that's whathappened. But that's another thing where
it's like, hmm, eat yourwheaties, now, take your vitamins.
Take you eat your weaties now,Yeah, eat your weaties. Remember that
commercial when we were kids. No, just me, Okay, you're not
(17:17):
that old. You're fine. Iwould like to get to our son Isaac
because we have him back on theshow. He was on the show two
weeks ago, and he rushed backby popular demand. Yeah, so he's
homesick. He's got some kind ofcough thing that has been lasting way longer
than it probably should. But mSo, we have this new segment we're
(17:37):
gonna test out with them called DudeThat's Sick. That's coming off in just
a second. But first I readsomething. I learned something about cats.
Now, we have a neighbor namedMarcy that we call She hates cash.
She wants nothing to do with cats. She hates all animals. She's a
teacher and she has to do withlike a little Chicki's in her classroom every
single year, and she's like,they're cute when they're like baby for about
(18:00):
the first five days. But assoon as they like actually grow kind of
like feathers and things like that,then she wants them out. She doesn't
have interest, right, And partof the reason that she hates cats so
much, as she said as achild that there was a cat of a
friend's house that jumped in the airand without hitting anything else, change direction
and attacked her directly. Oh mygod, Now again that is physically impossible.
(18:26):
That is a made a fucking story. But maybe I'm wrong because because
again I still don't think that she'sright. But I read a whole article
because back in eighteen hundred something,there was a photographer that actually took a
picture of a cat being dropped andtook like multiple pictures. Okay, And
(18:48):
why it like blew everyone's mind isbecause the cat was upside down. But
obviously we all know you know,cats laying on her feet. How was
that possible? Well, I learnedhow it is possible because it's actually very
very interesting. So when a catis dropped, how their body is like
very like nimble. Well, weare not condoning dropping your cat to prove
(19:11):
this theory, by the way,I mean if you want to, though,
No, we're not condoning it.I mean cats are evil. So
there's something about like basically what theydo is they tuck into a ball and
like the top part of their body, their their paws like kind of go
in and they actually turn like fromlike I don't I want to say a
cat's belly button up. Yeah,yeah, they're waiste up. They actually
(19:33):
are able to turn, which thenrotates their tail legs and that's how they're
able to do it. Now,if you and I were dropped on our
back and we were asked to turn. That would be near impossible, like
especially like from a dropped position rightlike a hanging you would, yeah,
you, because you don't have anythingto push off of. But cats have
(19:55):
a freak skills and basically freak coreto be able to like change the way
that their body works. Wow.And I thought that that was fascinating.
I don't know if it's fascinating,but it sounds pretty cool. For a
minute, let's get into Isaac's newfeature. Dude, that's sick. You're
(20:15):
in this our little porch swing thatI built. How safe is the porch
swing that I built years ago?Not at all? Since you're homesick today,
Well, he's been homesick. He'sbeen homesick all week. Yeah,
well you went to school on Monday. So we have a new feature that
we're gonna try out for the showcalled That's Sick. Bro, that's sick.
(20:37):
We can be as loud as wewant. There's nobody around. It's
the middle of the day at ourhome. And Christie thinks that she saw
people go on door door like Jehovah'switnesses. But I don't think that they
were I think that they were actuallyour neighbors dressing. Maybe they well,
they weren't our neighbors at all,and they definitely had Paisley dresses on and
clipboards. And I think they skippedour house because we knew, they knew
(21:02):
that we weren't right with the Lord. Let's get to the jokes on,
Bro, that's sick. Isaac asa job was to put together some jokes.
What do you call murderer with twobutts? I don't know what do
you call murderer with two butts?In assassin? Because it's like ass but
like assassin. That's sick. Today. I asked my phone, Sirie,
(21:26):
why am I single? Um?And it activated the front camera. Bro,
that's sick. That's like your teenageused that. That's true. That's
sad. Why did the mafia cross? Just you know, I technically did
have a phone where I was ateenager. Okay, BlackBerry, No,
BlackBerry wasn't a thing. I hadto get like a really long extension cord.
(21:48):
I went to to the store andI got a telephone line and I
hooked it up in my parents mainone and I brought bring it bringed and
brought it brewed it all the wayto my bedroom. So I could talk
on the phone to my girlfriend atnight, Leslie. Yeah, your imagine
everyone. Okay, Um, whydid the mafia cross the road? Why
forget about it? Bro, that'ssick. Obviously we thought it was dude,
(22:17):
that's sick. No, but itwas Bro. That's sick. But
anyway, we haven't done this inquite a long time. I wanted to
pull up on Reddit. One ofmy favorite subreddits is shower thoughts, and
these are things that people come upwith under the influence maybe wall taking a
shower or or I think usually likeit's probably what happens most times when you're
(22:41):
bored. You start thinking, sorry, I'm burping, You start thinking about
something just threw up a little bittasted like Italian m So, like,
I just want to read you forthis year the top five shower thoughts,
and I want to get your opinion. You're ready. It's not till you
work your retail job that you realizethat eighty five percent of people are dumb
(23:03):
as rocks. Absolutely, I mean, no matter what it is, I
had to call customer service today,and the entire time I'm on with customer
service, I'm a self aware enoughto know that there is an eighty five
percent chance that I'm a dumb fuckthat doesn't know how to do something so
basic that luckily this person was alsoa dumb fuck and they also couldn't figure
(23:23):
it out. But that's the kindof thing that happens. Generation X and
millennials will probably be the first generationin recent history to tell their kids about
how much easier life was when theywere kids. Absolutely, amen, or
was the best generation? You think? So? Really? Fuck yes,
(23:44):
dude, Gen X rules The originalvoice actors of Mickey Mouse and Mini Mouse
are married, So do you knowthat there's a good chance that they've done
Mickey and Mini voices during sex?Ill it's a good that's a good question.
I don't want to think about thehappiest place on Earth with that mindset.
Thank you very much. On thetopic of famously, but I saw
(24:07):
Howard Stern had John bon Jovi andbon Jovi's wife John bon Jovi's wife on
his show today or yesterday, doesn'tmatter, and he asked, it's such
a stupid hack question, but it'salso a question. It heads has to
be sometimes true. If John bonJovi ever listens to his music while making
love, Oh like, it's somethingyou created maybe the first time, but
(24:29):
obviously like the hits like slippery whenwet, you're not going to be banging
that when you're banging and what Iand the second note like this is very
shallow and I know this, Butbon Jovi looks his age. He looks
great. Yeah, his wife looksher age. But do you think because
(24:49):
she's not in the spotlight as muchlike she's a high school sweetheart of his,
do you think that she gets thesame care for her face that he
does. You're dig in a hole, real deep. It's okay for women
to age, Steve. Women don'tneed surgery to age, Steve. The
(25:12):
anti aging movement needs to go withthe patriarchy, Steve. I have no
issue again with aging, I haveno issue with any of that. Beauty
industry is criminal, Steve. Okay, the beauty industry is criminal. But
this is my point. I'm pullingup this clip did John in the bedroom
(25:34):
on that night? Always? Okay, she's adorable, she looks like a
woman should look. She looks likea woman her of her age should look.
But then she's not filled with garbageand chemicals. But now I'm pulling
up a picture of John bon Jovi. Okay, he looks he's definitely had
some kind of lifting, and sodo you think it's the xy like if
(25:56):
if I would, I don't knowhow to say this in the best way.
Just man, he's the package.He's what they sell, right,
He's the reason that they have aridiculous amount of money. And he's an
artist. She has never knows whatshe's done. She could be a CEO
of a fucking company. Yes,she could be a boss aass bitch.
Don't call her down. I'm notcutting her down, but she but she's
not in the limelight. That's mypoint. Okay, Okay, she's not
(26:18):
in the limelight. So if shewere in the lot, do you think
that's why. Maybe it's because she'snot in the limelight. So she's like,
hey, I mean I thought that. I think that even if she
was in the limelight, she shouldlook how she fucking looks. And it
doesn't goddamn matter period. Dot Onthe topic of people that look gray and
beautiful people I did listen to andoh yeah, of course I did.
(26:42):
I was thinking that. Another podcastI listened to is I listened to The
Call Her Daddy with Gwyneth Paltrow.Which I hate her. I know that
you don't like her, but Ifind it fascinating because she talks a lot
like the Call Her Daddy podcast.The girl that's on It doesn't matter,
doesn't don't remember her name care she'sasking about like she got into like dating
(27:07):
Brad Pitt and dating yeah, Gwynethand being engaged to Brad Pitt, like
they broke off the engagement like fifteenmonths later when she won the Academy Award
or a year later, and likethat was the next time that she actually
ran into and saw Brad Pitt.Was like while she was on stage,
the girl is still thirsty for thepit because she was asked a favorite person
(27:30):
like out of your exis between Benand Brad. I forgot that she dated
Ben until you told me this lastnight, Like I don't want to say
that she made it sound like BenAffleck was a douchebag because she was very
look at his face, but shesaid, um that Ben like would make
funny faces like in the mirror.That was like something that he would do,
like but like to make you laugh, not being serious, but Brad
(27:55):
Pitt to me, and it maybebecause like all the stuff with Angela and
Jolie. He's got a little bitof like alien into him, like because
he's such a huge actor that hedoesn't seem like he would be able to
deal with mortals. And I'm notsaying Gwenna Peltro's a fucking mortal, okay,
But every time she would talk aboutlike best in bed Brad Pitt,
like most like you liked Brad Pitt, Like talk about a girl who's the
(28:18):
gene has seen some of the bestin the world. She made a business
based on a candle that smells likeher vijen. She's fucking crazy in anything
she says doesn't matter. I kindof want to smell the candle and I
kind of do the say I wasgonna do more shower thoughts, but you
know what, I can't get muchbetter than that. So thanks for listening
(28:40):
to this birthday edition. He goesboth way through Christy and Steve, Happy
Birthday. Steve plays on We'll seeyou next time.
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