Married to Menopause

We cover a lot on this episode of the podcast, including the mystery that involves a man keeping his mouth shut, when shopping with a teen daughter menopauses Kristy noticed something small that has forced her to spiral.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to the show. I knowit's where this episode's dropping late, later
than usual because we got things goingon. Guess what else is late,
Steve? Hopefully not your period,my period, oh, because apparently I'm
in menopause. Oh, which I'llget into later in the episode. Also,
the craziest while this strangest story thatinvolves treasure that I've ever heard my

(00:21):
entire life. That's all coming upand it goes both ways with Christie and
Steve. There are many reasons tomarry you. I can if I really

(00:50):
had to sit down, I betI could come up with fifty sixty reasons
to marry you, to marry me, to marry you. But one of
the reasons I had never expected,but I think it is a reason that
I hold close to my heart,is that who is one of your favorite
Who is your favorite actor of alltime? Nicholas Cage. Yes, and
I knew that. You know wecould be together because if you think Nicholas

(01:12):
Cage is hot, then you haveto think that I'm hot. Oh,
because he's not. He's not themost m The first thing that comes to
my mind is that he's not themost honest looking person to me. He
looks like someone that would be alittle bit shicsy here and there. There
would always be something I can't saythat word I can. I keep saying,

(01:32):
let's just say shady. Okay,Um, there's always something tricky about
him there. But I knew thatyou liked him, So that's why you'd
like me. And that means becauseyou're tricky. Yeah, and that means
that you like all this movie iscorrect. I want you to follow my
This is how my logic. Thisis how my logic. Okay, so

(01:52):
keep going. I mean we've devoteda lot of episodes to my love for
Nicholas. And also, I'm notlike, are you going to a different
place? Tell me one movie youthink that he's done. That's bad ghostwriter?
Perfect. Yeah, So that meansI've said that before in the show.
So then movies that you like.One of the movies that you have
to say are probably one of histop five national treasure Yes, that's a

(02:13):
great one. Okay. So thatmeans that you're into hearing probably the craziest
story of a real treasure hunter thatis still alive today. Wow. I
loved and appreciated the journey that youjust took us on. To get to
this point that actually has nothing todo with Nicholas Cage, nothing at all.

(02:34):
But this guy's occupation is treasure hunteron his Wikipedia page, and I
can go to news outlets in differentplaces to like get you the story of
him, okay, and there isis it verified? This is like,
this is Wikipedia. I'm reading thisand I love everything about it. Okay.
Usually read a Wikipedia page and you'relike, scan, don't care.
Who doesn't matter? Right? Thisguy from the beginning to the end.

(02:58):
You can tell that he didn't writeit, and you'll find out why.
But it's perfect. Thomas Gregory Thompsonis an American treasure hunter known for his
leading role in the discovery of thewreck of the SS Central America on September
eleventh, nineteen eighty eight. Heis also the author of a book about
the discovery America's lost treasure published innineteen eighty eight, and is a main

(03:21):
character in the best selling nineteen ninetyeight non fiction book Ship of Gold in
the Deep Blue Sea Okay Okay.In two thousand, Thompsons sold gold recovered
from that Central America ship for fiftytwo million dollars Wow. In two thousand
and nine, he had an offshoreaccount in the Cook Island valued at four
point one six million dollars. Intwenty thirteen, the US District Court in

(03:44):
the Southern District of Ohio issued ina arrest warrant for Thompson for civil contempt
for his failure to appear as directed. In twenty fourteen, the same court
issued an additional arrest warrant for Thompson. The investigation was assigned to Deputy United
States Whatever doesn't matter. Thompson wasa fugitive for several years until US marshals
arrested him in twenty fifteen at aWest Palm Beach, Florida hotel. In

(04:10):
twenty eighteen, Thompson agreed to surrenderfive hundred gold coins salvage from the wreck
of the Central America, but thenclaimed he did not have access to the
missing coins. So on November twentyeighth, twenty eighteen, a judge awarded
investors nineteen point four million dollars.Then, when he wouldn't actually give the

(04:32):
money over, what did Thompson do? He was held in contempt of court
and for the last six years he'sbeen sitting in prison. Okay, that
was a lot of facts that youjust threw at me, So give me
the cliffs Notes version just to likesummit up. So he was a treasure
hunter and he allegedly found like thismassive treasure, massive treasure one that he

(05:00):
sold part of. Okay, butthere were people that were investors of his
right they would send him out onthese expeditions or whatever. Okay, because
one of the things that he didhe had like this really like specific really
expensive like submarine they had to useto get whatever. The treasure is interesting?
Just so do we? So wedon't know like where is the treasure?

(05:24):
Where did he find the treasure?Is there more? Because six years?
So that means you can be stubbornabout not wanting to pay somebody or
wanting to return the treasure, okay, But the idea that you would sit
there for six years, do weOkay, I don't want to like stay

(05:45):
here real, real long because I'mafraid that people might gloss over. But
do we know how long his sentenceis for? So he was put on
contempt of court, right, Likethat's indefinite, Like I didn't think that
she could be held in contempt forlike multiple years, and he can't be
bailed out by anyone, like there'sthere's so many loopholes in our legal system,

(06:08):
Like what is he doing? That'sagain? What it's again? So
I'm pretty sure it's like he basicallysaid, I've only seen lawn order.
That's how it's like, you're notNo, you're wrong, And they say,
prosecutor, you know you're gonna beheld in contempt of court. You've
heard that before, right, ButI guess you can actually just sit in
jail. So, in other words, the judge has almighty power. So

(06:30):
if he doesn't like you, like, what if that judge died? Though,
dude, good question, because whoa, that's a really good point.
Okay, So anyway, moving onto a different part of it before we
wrap it up. So he's justwilling to go to the grave with the

(06:51):
knowledge of where this treasure is.I mean, he's he can't use it,
he can't enjoy the spoils of hislabor, well while he's rotting in
jail for who knows how long.So then what's the point and then what
happens? So then let's say thatthe point is maybe he gave it to
his kids. Okay, so maybehe gave five hundred coins or whatever the

(07:12):
number of coins is it's worth Xamount of million dollars. Like, let's
say we give him to Isaac Oliviaand we sat in jail right then we'd
be double fucked. That would neverhappen because I don't share. Our daughter,
Olivia had me take her to theoutlet mall the other day because she
had some money burning a hole inher pocket and she needs some cute new
spring looks and whatever whatever. Andafter the second hour of just following her

(07:41):
around random stores and sitting in dressingrooms that were only meant for one person,
my brain sent me back to nineteenninety who cares, and just envisioned
what Barb my mom must have beenexperience anything. Because I don't feel like

(08:03):
I'm an old person, an oldgranny. I still enjoy shopping, I
still like go and get wild andall of that shit. But just sitting
there and following my daughter around withoutpurpose other than to just hand her cash
every once in a while, I'mnot in that life, am I?

(08:24):
No? I mean you are inthat while you're in the life of like
you, because like when my momtook me, sorry I cut you off.
When my mom took me, Iwas like well, she's old.
She's my mom, Like that's that'swhat Like, she she wouldn't enjoy shopping,
like she's designed to just follow mearound and and cater to every whatever
that teenage whim that I had,So am I now that person? Like

(08:48):
when did that happen? Because I'mnot ready for that, Like mentally I'm
not there. Yeah, I meanyou're mentally not there for your daughter.
You're mentally there, Like I'm notready to just be the frumpy mom that
just follows her around like, bitch, got out of my way. I've

(09:09):
got shopping to do, Like Ilike things in altered State too. Okay,
Well, this is what's scary isthat you have a conversation just now
where you're like, you sound bothold and young at the same time.
Great, it's it's for dramatics.I like storytelling, I know. But
that's really that makes it very difficultto place you on the realm because like

(09:30):
you're talking about Shelter two. Isthat what you said? What was it
called altered State? Yeah, wayoff Altered States. It's like the it
store to go to if you're goingon a bachelor's that you're talking bachelorette thing.
To nashvillels that you're talking about that, because if you were cool,
then you would just talk about howyou just got back from Nashville and you

(09:52):
needed to I could address like Ijust got back from Nashville. You could
yeah, obviously, like you're walkingaround with some kind of spritzer, but
you haven't drinking beer the entire timebecause you were down there. Okay,
anyway, back to the point.I don't know where you're going with us,
digress, but back to the point, am I like, do I

(10:13):
just need to lean into the factthat that we've arrived, Like it got
here in a blink? Man,she was I was pushing her in a
stroller and she had to go whereI told her to go, Like when
did this happen? That now I'mfollowing her like a puppy and holding her
coat so she can go look atfifty two pairs of cargo pants. I

(10:35):
just realized when it happened. Ithappened just right when you told that story,
because you have that as a storythat you tell people. Okay,
so then that's how it's happened.Okay, It's it's the exactly, that's
the pivotal point. It's the samething as like I remember when like our
kids were little, I would belike I would tell stories like about them,
but there weren't. Actually, Like, you're a liar, And I

(10:56):
understand it because you're sleep deprived.If you're a new parent and you talk
about all the crazy things your baby'sdoing, you're really just making things up.
The first year, they're blobs andthat's cool overall. Okay, then
never gets easier than that. Yeah, and it never And that's fucking crazy
you said that, Okay, becauseif you were us in that first year,

(11:18):
it's because we're going on a tripsoon and it's a long, wrapped
it up tighter. Going on aneighteen hour trip is just like the first
year of childbirth, of not childbirth. I don't know anything about that.
I'm not going to comment on it, okay, on the first year of
parenthood. And why I say thatis because you only remember the good parts

(11:43):
about it and you try to blockout even't even though there's a fewer one
or two stick around. Because again, we're going on an eighteen hour road
trip. Why would you do that? That's crazy? Okay, that's actually
a really great segue. I overheardyou on the phone with a like a
friend of ours, and I adoreher. The thing that I overheard her

(12:05):
say, it just it struck mewrong, and my mama Claus came out
a little bit. You were tellingher about the road trip, and she
was like, oh god, withyour kids. I know that she was
being a silly goose, and Iknow that she didn't mean anything bad about

(12:26):
it, But even as a joke, isn't it a thoughtless thing to say?
Like why why should you dislike beingwith your children? Why should you
dislike spending time with your family?Like that's not cool, that's not funny,
Like I don't I wouldn't approach herand say, oh, why haven't
you had kids yet? Like youjust don't do that, you know what

(12:48):
I'm saying, Like it's sort oflike it's okay for me to talk shit
about my kids, but it's notokay for you to talk shit about your
kids. Yeah, I mean,I would say, I understand what you're
saying. But I also think thatyou could actually make the argument too that
if she said that exactly word,it's like, oh god, and she
didn't wasn't saying it obviously sarcastically?Or that we know her that she wouldn't

(13:09):
you know, if we didn't knowher, if I didn't know her,
or if I knew that she wassomeone that as we all know that that
person that like they say sarcastic things, but it's not really sarcastic. It's
them. It's actually how they feel. Well, it's kind of like that.
It's like, so I would thinkthat maybe that is how she feels.
It's the exact same thing as likethe person that says something that you
know is racist, even though it'snot technically in the handbook of an actual

(13:33):
racist thing to say, but youknow, it's the those people kind of
com and people make right, that'swhat If that's what she said, then
I think, you know, Mamaclause, I think outside of that is
it's a sarcastic joke. But doyou see where I'm coming from where I
sort of like it's like, evenif you're trying to be funny, it's

(13:54):
just like why, like why isit cute to like, you know,
to pretend like you your family orlike do you know what I mean?
Because it's funny because that's but youactually did like invertently stick up for the
situation. Because she made the comment, and then your reply back to her
was, well, no, itwas actually really fun, like we had

(14:15):
a good time because it's just likehaving a child under one year old.
Full circle, bitch, you justheard it. We're not used to actually
spending time together in the house duringthe day when the kids aren't around.
Well, we got some we gotsome practice a couple of years ago,
and now we're back for round two. But do you think it's harder easier

(14:39):
than it was two years ago?Um? Honestly, right now, I
think it's harder. Well, well, it's good to know that we're on
the same page usually, so yeah. I actually I talked to a friend
today who said that she drives fortyfive min and she and her husband work

(15:01):
in the same place and they actuallydrive together, and it's been hard because
he has no problem just mindlessly scrollingthrough pictures where she wants to ony on
her way to work, she wantssomething fun to listen to, Okay,
on tape, you know, bookon tape type thing whatever, but it's
you know, on your phone.And then on the way back though,
she wants something that's like weight lostjourney. He just wants it all gone.

(15:28):
Does my lower back hurt. Yes, this does. Thanks for asking.
It still does. I don't knowwhy, but my ears better.
So that's good about me feeling betterthings. Okay, So what we're saying
is that you're losing a symptom butgaining a different symptom. Usually how these
things work. I mean, that'sjust what it is. Just like,
I think I'm pretty sure that I'mgetting your ADHD can't have my drugs.

(15:52):
I think that I'm also getting yourprone to all of the ailments. Oh
like, so now it's going tobe like what's with Christy now? But
the difference between what's wrong with Christiewhat's wrong with Steve is what's wrong with
Steve is he kind of does stuffabout it and then doesn't do anything about
it. And when Christie does,what have you done? Well, I've
researched. Oh okay, so thefun fact really quickly, the fun fact

(16:18):
about being forty six years old isthat your body is going through all kinds
of morphs and changes that are likelife altering right now, so it's it's
gone deep. It's sort of tothe point of the symptoms are so it's
sort of like COVID where like isit allergies, Is it flu? Is

(16:41):
it a cold? Right? Yeah, right, So that's kind of what
this stage feels like. Is itdepression, is it anxiety? Is it
menopause? Speaking of menopause, we'releaning into it right now. I noticed
I didn't notice. I saw athing on Instagram. If I want to
be honest, I got from adoctor in quotations that if you don't have

(17:04):
those little half moons right above yourcuticle on your fingernails, that that is
an indication that's like a particular thingis wrong with you. And it listed
off what said issues might be orailments might be, And so I looked
and I was like, oh,I don't have half moons on any of

(17:26):
my fingernails. You do already checkyou're normal, you're healthy. I don't
have half moons on any finger atall. And then I saw another thing,
because I deep dove about that particularailment. If you have ridges,
like vertical ridges on your nails,then it also means that this ailment is

(17:49):
going on. So now I'm twofor two. So now I'm to the
point of, okay, am Idying? Like do I have to go
to my doctor and demand all ofthese tests? Do I have to take
a supplement? Like, what doI do? Um? Because obviously my
body is telling me that these thingsare wrong with it and I need to
listen. Now I'm so freaked outthat I don't know where to start.

(18:14):
Do I just start like chugging thesupplements? Okay? So the two things
mean that I'm probably anemic, whichin lab reports, in pastor doctor's visits,
I do run on the side ofbeing a nemic. Mean again,
your red blood cells they're not primedand ready to go, so they're a

(18:34):
little lazy, but not they're notout of control. I don't know,
because it depends like you could havelike chronic illness, anemia, sickle cell
anemia, like on and on andon. You haven't anemia. That's not
an anemia, but it's anemia.It hasn't been you haven't I do?
What are we going? You're thatthing's blinding me right now? What my

(18:56):
penis or my phone? I washitting off the yep, penis, that's
right, my penis is hitting offthe light. People. I'm a little
nervous because I'm like in the throesof menopause. Why am I anemic?
And are those things related? Andwhat should I be doing. Sometimes it's
just as simple as taking like aniron supplement. Sometimes it's just as simple

(19:18):
as changing up your diet and eatingmore iron based food. I could also
be chronically ill. Right, Oh, you're not doing that. You're not
doing that, And you know whyyou're not doing that, Okay, because
of the exact reason that you're notdoing that. You've done a ton of
research, You've looked into all ofthis. I did today that you've gone

(19:38):
way too far? Am I workfor the Mayo Clinic? Like do I
just do? I go to thedoctor and request that labs be drawn and
that they test my blood to figureout And then it gets even more If
you really think that you're a particulartype of like anemia or anemic, I
don't know the vernacular. You canhave your marrow tested, like your bone

(20:00):
marrow. That's painful, Just soyou know, I don't imagine that it
would be pleasant. You know,maybe just taking an iron pillow would be
easier. It's hilarious to me thatyou think that you have a something.
I know that I do my bodyshowing me look at my fingers, and
look at my fingers right now?Does anywhere else say that the fingers is

(20:22):
like, yeah, it was everywhere. I feel misunderstood most of the time.
Like I know in my brain andin my heart what type of person
that I am. And I liketo fly kind of under the radar,
Like I'm not the type of personto just there's people out there that are
like thirst trappy, that like toscream all of the good things that they

(20:44):
do and whatever whatever the type ofperson that they are. I like to
fly under the radar. You dotoo, Yeah you do? Oh no,
Like you have a persona that wassort of gifted to you from the
radio and then from this podcast.You're not that, You're like, that's
a persona. I get it right, you Yeah, you're a you're a

(21:07):
good purse. I'm a good We'reall okay, I'll let it slide.
There's one person that knows me themost, Barbe. So like, when
Barbe's not around to tell my story, Jesus, you don't get me.
Yeah, that's going to be troublefor you. So then who's gonna like
know who's gonna because you don't knowme, who's gonna like have my back?

(21:33):
Who's gonna know what kind of personI am? Who's going to be
my cheerleader whatever, whatever, Howam I going to be understood? But
then I flipped my brain, Whydo I care? That's what I was
gonna say. Why do I careif people understand me? At the end
of the day, I know whattype of person that I am. That's

(21:55):
all that matters, right, Like, it doesn't matter if like no one's
laft, just you know, tosay to pat me on the back or
to do whatever. Yeah, right, I think that's true. That that's
where like, uh, you're gonnahate this, Like I don't remember any
like the stoic things that they say, or like Marcus Aurelius would say things

(22:17):
about like like your ego is awaste of time, okay, and obviously
like when you die, you goon the ground, So you can even
make that argument. It's like whocares what anything about anyone ever says?
Right? I think there's a healthyamount of care that you should have for
certain things. Nobody's not. It'sjust look, if people understand people understand

(22:38):
Sorry, don't stray a little bitpeople misunderstand you. What's your take on
like does that matter or doesn't it? Well? I think it's great to
say and live your life and putout the words that it doesn't matter what
people think of me. What iseven healthier is to say I wish I

(23:00):
didn't care what people thought about me, but sometimes I do. Yeah,
And if you believe any of theother stuff, like either of the other
extremes, and you're full of shitand you're psychologically unavailable, and that's cool.
If you are not psychologically available,that's fine. Good for you for
a living that way. I'm goingto be so on that is psychologically available

(23:22):
and say, hey, I canalways do better, but I'm working on
it. As we speak. I'mlooking at two empty cans of Pepsi peeps.
Yeah, I know, like youbought it as a joke. Yeah,
and I didn't think that you weregoing to actually drink it. But
you're plowing through that case. Wellvepack that we got. I don't care.

(23:45):
You shouldn't be putting that in yourbody at it. I know it's
horrible, but it's a good,little, sweet little treat. So then
next week it's going to be what'swrong with you because you drink Pepsi peeps
and you have a hole in yourI'll probably go to the doctor and they'll
say that I have a lot ofstrange red blood cells that do straighte.
Okay, all right, we'll seeyou next time. But it goes one
things with Christie and Steve. It'sa real problem Steve