War of the Worlds & What Kristy Wants Done

What it sounds like when we argue, how sending REELS has become our love language and much more. (I'll be honest, I think I'm getting a cold so I'm getting outta here!)

Episode Transcript

(00:19):
Honestly, this is one of thosethings that you keep saying it, and
it's only it's the first time I'vesaid it. No, like nope,
you keep about saying like, areyou sure you want to do this?
You see me? No idea?I'm like, I'm not, I really
am not. I know that's thefirst time I said do you want to
do this? That part? Iknow when I said when I said,
you are coming off as annoyed,I need you to take a breath,

(00:40):
yeah, or I need you tolike that's what I've said. Okay,
that's different, dude, welcome topodcast. You're gonna start the podcast off
today with an argument that Christie andI are having right now about how I'm
coming off. I don't want tostart the podcast like that because it's just
like who cares and it's just grumpy. Do you want me to be honest?

(01:02):
Yeah, be honest. Start thepodcast like this, right, Start
Start the podcast like this with honesty. Go for it. The idea that
we have a conversation and like anargument or a disagreement, not even as
argument, a disagreement in the moment, okay, is probably more interesting than

(01:26):
anything else we could do in thispodcast. Today, I disagree with you
only because of the fact that foryears and years and we've gotten better about
it backslash, we don't go aroundother people, so that probably also helps
us. Yea, other people live. We know, you gotta hear me
out. Okay. We used tobe that couple that would fight out in

(01:49):
public, like four years and years, and we don't do it anymore simply
because we don't go out in publicand also therapy. Um, so I
would think that that would just belike that maybe like in people our friends
didn't like that. I think thecollective and I can say, honestly,

(02:09):
if I were to go down andsay percentages eighty percent of the time,
eighty five percent of the time,it wasn't my fault. And Happy Valentine's
Day. Du Yeah, Happy Valentine'sDay. It's a brand new episode before
the show. Actually Barb's birthday,by the way, birthday to Christie's mom.
This is a big one. Threequarters of a century. It's true,

(02:29):
that's don't do that. Billions andbillions of days old Barbs, Happy
birthday, bad math. So asbefore we go any further, we did
talk about some kind of emission onthe last episode of it goes both ways
with Christie and Steve. We haveneed to pull it up. We have

(02:50):
a couple updates. Okay, let'sbefore you eat the updates. Why don't
you look up the updates and letme tell you what just happened a few
minutes ago. A few minutes ago, our son Isaac was downstairs and he
was running on the treadmill because that'swhat he does once in a while.
Yeah, and I'm listening and hegets off the treadmille he stops it,
and I hear. I'm like,Isaac, what the hell is that?

(03:13):
And he goes, Mom's pissed atmy chromebook and she's beating it. When
did he say that? Ten minutesago? Where was I? You were
upstairs pounding the chicken, which isalso a sexual Oh my god, that's
what you were doing, is youwere pounding the chicken. And he said
that I was hitting it. Okay, I had graphic. I know it's

(03:34):
graphic. What does it mean whenyou pound the chicken? Anyway? I
don't want that visual. Okay,I'll look it up. Okay, An
tell us the updates of things goingon with the podcast that you need to
share. So on the last episode, I asked you to look up that
I was contemplating doing to start afreshin my twenty twenty three. Thing that
I'm referring to is a lymphatic drainagemassage, And so it's just a technique

(04:01):
that the massus uses with hands andguashaw tools eaves swelling that happens like living
the vatic change massage and involves gentlymanipulating specific areas of your body to help
your limp system move. I meanit sounds boring, I mean, but

(04:25):
helpful. So like, for example, if like your face feels like I
don't know, I get like kindof sinus pressure in my cheeks and such,
and so then you can move itwith your hands or your fingers or
your guashaw and you can make itdrain. Yeah, and then it goes
like down your neck and then there'sparts of the backs of your legs and

(04:46):
it's good for circulation and deep puffing. So I felt like that would be
a good thing to do. Itactually reminds me of there was a whole
entire course on you. It's likethe course that I took on YouTube,
and I didn't understand it totally,but that was sphincter massaging, and then
what you would do is that youwould actually massage the inner part of the

(05:08):
anus and there it is. Whenyou were in elementary school, did you
or someone you know pick up lookat daisy and do the hole that he
loves me? He loves me?A few times? And even when I
was a young child, I realizedhow pointless it is. Okay, So
that's how I feel with Nutflix rightnow, is that I'm picking the petals

(05:30):
off. Like Netflix works, Nutflixdoesn't work. Yeah, we have the
password, we don't have the passage. Crazy about this a little bit is
because you on a daily basis watchYouTube TV, which is how we watch,
like how you watch like Dan Housewifeor whatever. That's sort of like
that's our cable Netflix. Do youuse maybe every two weeks? Yes,

(05:54):
if there's something specific, you seemvery worried that we're gonna lose it.
Is it because it's you're losing something? Is it a control thing? No?
What is it? I mean?They really do have you buy the
short and curlies because unfortunately they areputting out a lot of content right now,
and like original content. Yeah,and I do frustrating I think that

(06:17):
it's foamo. We still haven't gottenParamount Plus to start watching Yellowstone. I
have Paramount Plus okay, well that'son my phone, but we haven't started
watching. That's how I watched Housewivesin Miami and that Yellowstone is like the
show where now like people say wewatched Yellowstone, they're like, ohh yeah,
I feel like it feels noise.I said, I'm like, I
don't think I did that when Iwas in a Game of Thrones, did

(06:39):
I was I the oh, youshould get into Yeah, you'll really like,
I don't know, during the rapingand pillaging. I hope you didn't
say that, but I mean that'sall Game of Thrones is, honestly,
like that guy was a sicko um, but you loved it. It's well,
it's it's captivating. It's a chainrock you can't not look. But

(07:00):
as far as Yellowstone goes, Iunderstand that all different demographics like love and
flock to it, and that's whyit's like super trendy. But I feel
like, just in my head whatI know of it, you need to
be in an age bracket that weare not yet really okay, and that
could you could be right about that. I mean, I'm sure I'm wrong,

(07:24):
and I'm sure that people that haveseen it are like, oh girl,
you're stupid. Um. I alsojust read that because the Kevin Costner
version is going to be ending soonthat alright, alright, alright, is
taking it over. Of course hewould and doing another chapter of it.
Okay, I mean, good forhim for doing that. It's amazing.

(07:45):
I'm sure that it's oh so Texas. He is seeing the guy throw the
rattlesnake on the other person. I'veseen him. Do you know the thing
of the biker gang. Yeah,it's enough. I've moved on from it.
So just to wrap it up.Back to Netflix. Right after our
last episode where I was like,oh my god, we're gonna lose our
account because we share it with yourparents or whatever. We're mooching. No

(08:09):
one cares. Okay, I'm livingwith the woke mob worried about I can't
say woke anyway. I can't saywoke. No what yeah, look are
you kidding me? Okay? Anyway, I don't have time to a thing
that's like a protest of a protest? Is this PC? You just let
me kick to the thing. Thisis fucking just let me get to the

(08:33):
thing. Please. Now, yousee the bra right now is that you've
basically subscribed, and I know thatright now that I have not drive to
the derailment. Yeah, but youlaughed, so okay, go ahead.
Sorry, it's because you make melaugh. Right after the previous episode,
I had a very kind listener sendme that. Oh oopsie, Daisy.

(08:58):
We changed our mind. Because isthe good side of social media. You
want to get shit done, geta freaking instant mob going, they will
get it done. I mean,look look at what the t Swifters did
for ticket Master. They got shitdone. Didn't hear about any issues with
the Beyonce SDE tickets. So thoseSwifties handle their shit. So I'm saying

(09:22):
maybe they should get on the Netflixbit too. Just by listening to your
arguments, I get done. Isbased on your algorithm from Instagram. You're
talking about Taylor Swift, now,yeah, who are you? Who have
come? I talked about her afterlike the whole ordeal to try to get

(09:43):
her tickets, and I was likeripping my hair out. But I bring
up the show meeting that we're havingright now, because we're going to end
the show talking about the day beforeValentine's Day. When we're recording this and
Barbe's birthday, it's not the daybefore Valentine's say it's Barbe's birthday. Our
version of love is sending reels orTikTok's to each other. We need to
have video and needs to have eithera funny bit in it or it needs

(10:05):
to have something about fucking trauma.It really does to celebrate a bullshit Hallmark
holiday. We're gonna play a littlegame, okay of what did Steve slide
in my DMS? I missed thebus this morning, and on the way
to school, I realized I forgotmy backpack. Curious what There is no

(10:33):
way in hell I'm turning this cararound. You understand me. You better
grab a rock in a chisel beforeyou walk into that classroom because that's where
you're gonna be using to take notes. You gotta get your head out of
your ass, and instead of focusingand looking like a traffic code in the
morning, you should be worried aboutgetting on the bus in time instead of
waking me up to take your sorryafter school, I think, thank you?

(10:56):
Shut up? What is that Isaid down to the timer because I
knew as soon as they sat anduncomfortable. You'd asked me to do something,
so it took you a minute.In five seconds, dude, we're
under attack. It's official. It'snot just a weather balloon. There have
been unidentified flying objects with payloads thesize of vehicles. Here's where I get

(11:22):
a little First, they were saying, oh, it's a you know,
and we saw the pictures of it. It's a balloon, right, there's
three of them in different areas.They're not balloons anymore. Whatever we hear
reports of is an object. Yes, an object was shot down over Michigan.
An object was shot down over lakehere on here, listen to this

(11:48):
if another unidentified object near a lakeHuron close to the Canadian border. The
mysterious object interview with commercial flight trajectoriesand it was hovering at twenty thousand feet
according to the Pentagon, nondemed amilitary threat who was described as una and
octagonal in shape. Hashtag distruction andhashtag national security are now trending. What
do you think. I think thatyou know, China just sent over something

(12:09):
different this time, or maybe itwas a UFO because they saw all the
crazy shit going on in the UFOhas come down to us. Okay,
then here's what's happening. I thinkit's either anti communists in China that are
doing a public smear campaign or aswe like to say, schmear campaign.

(12:33):
The second thing is that it reallyis China trying to find a way to
a low risk, high reward ideabecause they could say, well, it's
just science and they can get higherresolution photos because you know, okay,
so scramp all of that. Imean, because all of those are all
of those are kind of plausible.I want you to really deep dive into

(12:56):
conspiracy. I mean, think theFreemasons, think the Great Pyramids. I
want to know. I mean,what it's most likely happening is that we
haven't had it's the end of days. We haven't had anything that is similar
to a nuclear holocaust, and wehaven't had to deal with like a bomb

(13:22):
dropping or anything like that in along time. And the period surrounding that
in history was a prosperous time forAmerica. So I think that is exactly
what's happening. Again, I thinkthat I don't think that we're prosperous at
all right now, but it thebecause right now, this is the best
way to make it prosperous is toincite fear of the citizens and have the

(13:45):
government. You're taking a political approach. I was taking more of a sci
fi approach. So I think thatI think that it's the end of days
because that Jesus sculpture in Rio justgot struck by lightning. Yeah, it's
possible. It's the sign of times. You know what it is. It's
the Adam and Eve theory. What'sthe Adam and Eve theory? Here?

(14:09):
I set it to you and youhate it, but I don't care.
And it's from a Joe Rogan podcast. Here it is video Jesus Christ.
There could be a time where themagnetic poles actually shift. So this is
science that they say that the lastone was like seven hundred and seventy eight
thousand years ago, and we're morewere like something like two hundred thousand years
overdue. But Adam and Eve story. The theory of that is that these

(14:33):
happens in cycles of sixty five hundredyears, and that it's a ninety degree
flip. But six days later,around the seventh day, it corrects itself.
A planet flips it that correct it'sa it's a planet flip ninety degree,
and that because of it, theEarth essentially does a standstill, the
sun will be direct, will basicallystay in the same spot, causing heating

(14:54):
like we've never experienced, and thatthe wind and the waters continue with their
momentum because essentially the wind travels anapproximately a thousand miles an hour at the
equator. So the theory is thatwhen that event happens, it's going to
be cataclysmic. Oh update on poundthe chicken. It's not a thing,
so if you want to add itto Urban Dictionary, but I think it's

(15:15):
pretty close to pounding the shrimp,which is just like choking the chicken,
especially one modestly in doubt. Wow, Okay, happy birthday, barb oh
barb. See that's like the perfectlength and it's funny. I don't know

(15:35):
if it's funny, but I didn'tlaugh at all. We should actually have
I'm thinking of an idea where howthey have like the after show. We
should have the after show of thispodcast where all we do is our life,
you dummy. Actually we just playback the things that you say under
your breath. The after show isour life. Okay, a blooper real

(15:58):
then a guy, that's our life. Like if we lived, if we
lived in a TV and there werecameras in our house like Big Brother all
the time, then everyone would getto witness the miracle that is us do.
The craziest thing is that on adaily basis, there are days where

(16:18):
I'm like, this is a simulation. Maybe this really isn't a simulation.
I don't think that I'm the starof it, like an EDTV type thing.
But this could be a simulation orwe could be not really like being
feel like you're Sims. I wasgonna say, okay, but I feel
like I feel like you are aSims character. Maybe I am a Sims
character. That it's there's someone that'son basically cocaine who's deciding to move my

(16:42):
sim character all over the place andnot to actually focus on one entire thing
at a time, Like they justkeep butting their heads against the wall exactly
and they don't know how to turnaround. Now you understand why I leaned
my head against the cabinets all thetime. So with that said, what
makes me nervousism? How close toam I actually really really believing it?

(17:03):
Were? Like, how how manysteps away do you think I am,
am I A concussion away? AmI am? I like a like a
mental breakdown, I would say,a good strong fart away really or a
sneeze. Yeah, you're just reallythe toes are at the line speaking of

(17:25):
toes. Let me dip my toein something. What the fact what we
try so hard? Okay, wedo dip my toe in the fact that
I want a fucking argument during couplescounseling. And it was the sort of
thing where I can't and I don'twant to tell the whole story because we're
gonna have another episode, but Iwant you to hear what happened. My

(17:48):
response where I actually laughed out loudyou did, which was I hope you
didn't think it was rude. Itwas more like it was my actual reaction
because it was such a surprising andthen it's not my first time meeting you.
And then I grand slammed, Oh, okay, you out to eat,
and I was like, oh,let's go to this really nice restaurant.
And then afterwards we went and didan activity because it was a couple's

(18:11):
day, and I took you toat this place called Grand Slams, which
is an indoor batting cage and Ithink it's rap. Yeah, so that's
a you're a deck. It's justdoo doo doo doo doo doo. Wow.
Yeah, it's Horrow shook. Hundredpeople shouted. I just have one

(18:36):
question for you. How does itactually feel to think that you're right right
for the first time ever? Knowhow I'm right? Next episode of it
goes both ways, So Christian SteveHey, Happy fake Hallmark Holiday tomorrow.

(18:56):
Yeah, Happy birthday, Barb