Chanell J. Wilson Aura and Orbit new single

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
You can clap your hands if you want to. The
song's about this day by love today, not about if
enough today.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
But there won't something I knew had.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
To get to the swiml some day.

Speaker 4 (00:27):
Something can't up another change ain't like this pressure gave
him juice. Got to fight and move on and when
it's very hay some.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
And live my life song very strong, Because there's a
light at the windles tun.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
And my long hona.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
Say in say.

Speaker 5 (01:02):
There is scoring the bin a long orange, no longa.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
How can my body be full of?

Speaker 3 (01:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:18):
My son fell at coool stay tuesday, the bagon meat
and the.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Pain and strip.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
Oh no, I'm not going in my bad huh the
manwawking looking for then I still got bread beside.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Me.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
Just snapt me get one food.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Tudor face and the run run tuda like.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
There's a lighting the storm.

Speaker 5 (01:58):
And I know wanna see it someday there is corn.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
It the bba.

Speaker 5 (02:08):
And them noranging, no one lota.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Take the drains on hang.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
And get out the bas b skin, I come out
these spots hanging won't be skinned, skin won't be skinned. No, No,
there's a light than the sun.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
And the long monna see.

Speaker 4 (02:41):
Someday there is corn ity, the bball and the non
gonna origen no conna, there's a light. Everything turns and
my noa say someday.

Speaker 6 (03:03):
Lay the bame.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
And I'm not gonna nonna. I'm gonna reach. I'm going
to read, I'm going to reach you.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Sunay.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
We just sunday.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
I'm gonna see see, I'm gonna ree rele just suname,
we just snay. Thank you?

Speaker 7 (03:41):
Well, all right, all right, welcome, welcome everyone. This is
your host with the most Brenda moss A k A
lady diva here.

Speaker 8 (03:52):
Thank you all for tuning in. I have a return. Yes,
Chanel J.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Wilson in the house. Hey everyone, how are you guys.
I'm so glad to be here now.

Speaker 8 (04:04):
That song the Light, yeah, steal fresh with me.

Speaker 7 (04:10):
And also that song was history to me because the
fact our first show back in twenty twenty started off
with that release. Yeah, oh my god, oh my gosh,
how did you do with that song?

Speaker 9 (04:29):
Light?

Speaker 8 (04:29):
The Light?

Speaker 1 (04:31):
Light has had a series of evolutions since I released it.
So I originally wrote it in two thousand and six.
I was in a very dark place in my life
and I wanted to give up and I wrote that
song as an affirmation to let me know, you know,
bad times may happen, but it will pass. There is
a light at the end of the tunnel. So since

(04:52):
I've released it, it's become a very motivational track for
a lot of people. I open with them in some
of my shows. I've made about two are three music
videos for now and I like both of them. And
because I'm always learning different things and so I like
to expand on the idea. I had it on Facebook

(05:13):
for a while. A lot of people had a lot
of great things to say about it, and so it's
just expanded since I've released it. It was produced by
Poetic Beats, Hank Poetic Beats Marshall my producer, and it's
it's been a true joy at affirmature. How people hear it.
They're like, this really helped, this really woke me up.
Thank you for this.

Speaker 8 (05:34):
Yes, yes, we got we have history together. And yes,
ah you're doing so wonderful today.

Speaker 10 (05:41):
Yeah, yay, yes girl, Welcome back girl.

Speaker 7 (05:48):
So Chanel, I had dreams with you, Dreams for you Now.
Multidisciplinary artists and author Chanel Jay Wilson. Now, she's been
performing since she was a young girl and been writing since.

Speaker 8 (06:05):
She was a younger, since she was thirty.

Speaker 7 (06:07):
So she is a vocational UH certificate in recording arts yea.
And she has studied UH cinema, UH cinematographyography cinematography, UH
film editing, screenwriting and editing and and and she is
very UH serious about her UH skills and her experiences

(06:32):
and UH she has UH subscribing channel of course, if
anyone's tuning in, you will see that in the website
here she has typed up UH and texted her information
where you could follow her and get involved in her
UH in her UH subscribe channel now channel. When she

(06:58):
had released Black Hard on the Table, that's still my song.
A lot of people don't understand the song, but I
will play it at the end of the show. Okay,
that is that is my song as well. Now currently
she is working on Aura and Orbit. Yes, I am

(07:22):
inspired by her, Lady h That is the latest single
that that is currently being released.

Speaker 9 (07:30):
I will play that in a minute.

Speaker 7 (07:32):
So tell us about this recent song that you are released,
Aura and Orbit. Yes.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
So with Aura and Orbit, it's basically a song celebrating
the beauty of the chase between two people who are
finding themselves attracted to each other. I I first, what
ended up happening was I I answer to a prompt

(08:03):
for a songwriting. I'm always placing music and sync, and
so what ended up happening for me was the suggestion
or the prompt was try to write a sexy R
and B song about the chase. That's basically what it was.
It was like, Okay, where do I go with this?
And I've been listening to a lot of commentary on love, empowerment, divine,

(08:24):
feminine to EBB and flow between two people vie it
man and woman just just just just processing that. Yeah,
And so I told myself, why don't I take some
of the information that I've been learning and let's see
what I can put together based on what I know
about this and then also just what I've been learning.

(08:45):
And that's where or and Orbit came from. And it's
basically just dealing with the beauty of the chase, the
thought process that happens between both the man and the
woman and when they're eyeing each other, where they're seeing
each other. And I wrote it from a place of empowerment,
from the woman's perspective of letting that man chase you
letting that person chase you and you just letting your
divine feminy kind of call or draw him in. Yes,

(09:09):
so that's what that's where it all comes from. Assary, playful,
it's sexy. I like the mix that uh that my
producer ended up coming up with what I do because
I'll write it first with my own progression, and then
I'll send it to him saying this is kind of
the idea I was going forward, tell me what you
think and and just go for it and let's you know,

(09:30):
we figure out our collap that way. And so when
he sent it back to me like a couple of
days later, that's what he came up with based on
the progression I gave him. So it still it still
stays in my progression. He just takes it to the
next level because that's his skill, is the production, the sound, Yeah,
making that full stereo image. My thing is just giving
you a good core progression, lyrics and arrangement, and so
we just marry those ideas together. So that's how we

(09:52):
came up with this beautiful composition of R and R
of it. We both like it, yeah, and it's it's
so far. It's definitely we people are really enjoying it.
It's turned to like a nice R and B dance record.

Speaker 11 (10:04):
Well girl, you're doing a very good job.

Speaker 8 (10:16):
Congratulations my friend.

Speaker 9 (10:18):
And I love the song.

Speaker 8 (10:20):
I love it.

Speaker 7 (10:22):
I'm quite sure there will be other bits of versions
of it that will be coming out later.

Speaker 8 (10:30):
The more more gets hot.

Speaker 7 (10:31):
Because we need more love in this world and we
need uh uh unlearned how people fall in love. There
there's uh you know, love is supposed to heal all things,
and love is the fruit of the spirit, and people

(10:55):
are taking love and jacking it up and we need
to feel love again. Uh, ladies, get chased, learn to
get Learn to get chased.

Speaker 9 (11:06):
Quit just jumping into bed right learn.

Speaker 8 (11:11):
You know that just ends it.

Speaker 9 (11:13):
No, learn to get. Learn to get.

Speaker 7 (11:15):
Chased and have fun with that. And uh that nerves
that uh that thing in your brain. Uh that's the
natural uh high. The natural is what I'm trying to say. Yes, yeah, yeah,
that natural high.

Speaker 9 (11:35):
Let that take.

Speaker 7 (11:36):
Effect and cut all the uh the short chase and
uh uh and go through the long.

Speaker 8 (11:44):
Chase, go through the chase and fall in love.

Speaker 7 (11:46):
And I love this song. I love and thank you
for explaining it in detail. Yes, so people will understand
it and yes, I'm gonna get ready and play that song.
Is there any more, uh, other information you will like
to add?

Speaker 1 (12:01):
Just with aura and orbit. Like I said, I wanted
to write it from a place of empowerment and not
from a place of I'm going after that person or
chasing them, and I just I feel the divine femininity
flow through it when you what I'm What I've learned
in the last year when it comes to self love, uh,
seeing yourself as a prize, value and worth is the

(12:24):
most is that when you value and value yourself and
when you protect your own aura, it impacts your whole
orbital flow. And when you get into any relationship, you're
inviting someone into your aura and it could disturb or
it can enhance your ecosystem of your orbit. So that's
what this whole thing is all about about. Protect That's
why it starts off with Laura and orbit, about the

(12:47):
aura of who you, who it is that you are,
but then also protecting your overall orbital flow. It is
an ecosystem and when we see our flow kind of
messed up and disturb, we got to go back and
check what's going on with our aura.

Speaker 12 (12:58):
So yeah, baby, there's this crush about you, crushing on me.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
It pulls me here and makes the de leady like
the singer.

Speaker 3 (13:26):
Of a curs leading.

Speaker 2 (13:31):
I know you want me. I can feel your only.

Speaker 5 (13:35):
Along the runs as I see your hound, so I
know we've.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
Got a better send miss and heaven know you.

Speaker 5 (13:47):
Jeez, baby baby, I wash my lord. No, take us
to Surprise baby, Baby.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
I'm coming to my Omi.

Speaker 13 (14:00):
I'm not sabby.

Speaker 4 (14:01):
Six at the pressure on you while you're thinking about me. Oh,
because you see a queen elevate Skaly may bid me
jobs and.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
Corsin bailies, said pressly.

Speaker 4 (14:21):
Oh, then he go on me, sadel, Oh you song
me come in to my analogy.

Speaker 3 (14:29):
I'm gonna let you asking him birth you know you
go waitress chain.

Speaker 14 (14:34):
And then badly, Oh no, no, you want a taste
maybe bad baby washing my own nobody.

Speaker 5 (14:45):
Take us to surprown, Babe, I ready coming to Miami.

Speaker 13 (14:50):
I'm not say six on the time.

Speaker 6 (14:55):
I just feel so lon.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
I'm from your masci have the brather and move.

Speaker 3 (15:08):
So sixteen right, yeah, maybe baby.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
Nothing in my own noy.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
Maybe baby not coming to my.

Speaker 13 (15:23):
Own The sun sixty all.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
The time side they baby.

Speaker 5 (15:35):
Take just they.

Speaker 13 (15:39):
Come to the sun is sixteen sixty.

Speaker 8 (15:52):
Well, all right, that is the mails.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Or in orbit.

Speaker 7 (15:59):
Yeah, hard, I tell everyone on air here speak your
website information and uh media platform information, go right ahead.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
My website is my name Chanel J Wilson dot com.
You spell my name is C A, J, M, E, L,
L and J Wilson. I'm also on Facebook at Chanel
J Wilson. Just Facebook and then you can see the
forwards last Chanel J Wilson. You can find me on
Instagram under channel Jay Wilson, on TikTok under channel j Wilson.

(16:32):
What else do I have? There's uh Instagram, TikTok I'm on, Uh,
there's now uh threads I'm on, there's Chanel J Wilson.
It seems like every month there's a new one that
pops up. Yes it is yeah, same women eight.

Speaker 5 (16:46):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
So those are the core ones that I can think
of off the top of my head.

Speaker 9 (16:49):
Are you on Twitter as well?

Speaker 3 (16:51):
Well?

Speaker 1 (16:51):
X is now X not Twitter? Anyone's now and I'm
on the Are you on spel?

Speaker 2 (16:56):
I haven't heard of that one.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Afterwards, I'll have to go look at that.

Speaker 8 (16:59):
I'm not on yet, but you would be the perfect
on Spill.

Speaker 15 (17:05):
And then there's Blue Sky Okay, yeah, Blue Sky okay, Yeah,
Blue Sky is not like Facebook.

Speaker 7 (17:15):
It kind of reminds you of Twitter, but it's nothing
like Twitter. Okay, Blue Sky and Spill are my favorites.
And then uh, there are a couple of others. A
lot of black people are.

Speaker 9 (17:28):
On you know, not Twitter.

Speaker 7 (17:31):
Twitter has lost a lot of fans I heard, and uh,
people are spreading out. And then there are people that
are that are coming up good. Uh social media platforms
that are nothing like Facebook, but they can connect with
Facebook on these new social media pages too. There's fan base, uh,

(17:57):
you know, and but anyway, I'm gonna get off of that.
I'll have I will look all of those up today.

Speaker 9 (18:04):
Yeah, spiel is the best one. Uh, and they're very good.

Speaker 7 (18:09):
And then there's fan Base, which was created by an
artist's son. And uh, I'll have to get into that later.
But as we move along, do you have new projects
to mention in the future?

Speaker 16 (18:26):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (18:26):
Okay, So right now I'm gonna be promoting or in orbit.
I have two trailers up now that's advancing the theme
of the orbit being the ecosystem and how what's going
on on the inside and packs that, and I put
myself in the spaceships and out of space and there's
a lot of there's a lot of like references. I
was inspired by Captain EO Michael Jackson's screen video and

(18:48):
a couple of other little things, and so that's kind
of the angle I'm going for. So it's a lot
of sci fi looking things going on, So check those out.
A visualizer up now both on my YouTube and my
YouTube is the same also Chanel Jay Wilson, you can
look there. I keep a curation of all my art
there and then I'm gonna get the official music video
out soon. I've been We've been doing a lot of

(19:10):
green screen working compositive, so that's where the delay is about.
There's a team of three of us working on things,
both costume, myself with filming, my sons helping out with
some of the audio. So it's just collaborating around our
day job.

Speaker 7 (19:22):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
And then what's gonna happen is I do have an
Aura and Orbit EP that will be coming out. I'm
still going back and forth if we're gonna get it
all finished before the year ends. I've been working on
it now for a year. Uh, it's looking like It's
gonna be four songs and maybe one poem, and it
just expands on the theme of Aura and orbit, the ecosystem,

(19:46):
finding self love, really dealing with the things that impact
our value and worth, dealing with cortisol, dealing with limericks,
dealing with uh, the centering certain ideals, and finding your
else in a healthy place so that you can experience
functional love. So I'm really excited about the Or and

(20:08):
Orbit EP. I have some drafts that I've already sent
to my producer and we've been kind of stewing and
talking over it about it. So I'm going through the
second draft of some of those songs now, and so
hopefully we're still trying to figure out if we're going
to get it out at the end of this year
or just start frush for the beginning of the year
with the release, even if we're just finishing our recordings
this year, but that is the plan at this time.

Speaker 8 (20:30):
Okay, all right.

Speaker 9 (20:31):
So also.

Speaker 7 (20:36):
I got mister r Bobby Vond he's asking you a
question here on the website, and okay, uh, he says
he loves black Heart on the Table.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Yes, Blackhart on the Table is a three part project
that I have out. The first one is already out
A Warriors Limit, and that's basically just dealing with the
cry the lament of the heart. I have been working
on part two now for about I want to say,
two years now. We're trying. We know we're going to

(21:14):
release it after we do the Or and Orbit EP
because I think because the songs were written, they were
all there's not as much as they're ready to go.
But I was still exploring where I was going with
some of the work. And then when or in Orbit hit,
I said, I feel like I need I need to
go deeper. Yeah, yeah, and then jump into the sequel

(21:34):
because the project that will be coming out then is
dealing with an arsenal. It's I call it Blackhart on
the Table Volume two. My pen my arsenal, and we
have to be responsible with our words, and my pen
is my greatest strength. My ability to articulate and speak
has always been my greatest strength. Since I was a

(21:55):
young child. I was always pushed to do oratorical fast
speak in public and I had something to say where
people would listen, because I just believe God always gave
me the ability to bring information where people can receive it,

(22:16):
hear it, feel it, live it, be inspired by it.
So I do take it as a responsibility when I
use both my pen as well as when I open
my mouth and speak, be it in a public seat,
speaking setting song, setting of writing setting. I understand that
is my gift, but with that gift comes great responsibility

(22:36):
and the topics that I discussed in Black Hand on
the Table Volume two, My pen my arsenal is about
the fight from the lament, because the first phase is
first I'm just crying out and lamenting that my heart
needs healing. But then the second part is dealing with
what happened, why that heart got destroyed, why that heart
got hurt, and setting order. It's a phrase that I

(22:59):
think about from if you're setting order in the temple,
so to speak. When a person makes a decision to heal,
it can be seen as an act of war for
those who benefit from the oppression or benefit from dystruction
or abuse. That's what I've learned. In twenty twenty three
to twenty twenty four, I experienced the great loss. I

(23:19):
lost my last grandparents, and in the grief, it wasn't sadness,
it was anger, and I thought I found myself dealing
with things that I thought I was done with and
it was staring me right back in my back.

Speaker 8 (23:34):
That was the healing process.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
That was that was process.

Speaker 7 (23:38):
Yes, Yeah, the ugliness actually caught out when you thought
it was over with you, Bobby.

Speaker 10 (23:44):
And yeah, now, Bobby, he wanted you to explain the
line in that song, which one, I wonder what the
color on my heart is?

Speaker 1 (23:55):
Is it the hue of my skin? So I wrote
that I wonder what the color of my heart is?
Is it the hue of my skin? So when we
say that a heart is black, we're saying that it
has moved from being alive to being dead. A lot
of people will pin art and translation as saying that

(24:18):
their heart is black. It's broken, it's down, it's dirty,
it's split, it's cold.

Speaker 14 (24:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
So me saying that phrase based on the abuse, based
on the attacks, based on the things that I hear
people say to me when I'm enduring or going through
something that that I know is because it's coming from
a toxic place. I ask myself in those moments, is
my heart black? Am I giving out darkness? What signals

(24:47):
am I sending out? I wonder what the color of
my heart is because I'm living some type of villain's
origin story. But I don't think that I'm leading that way.
What's going on here? Am I the queen of arts?
Am I a Corilla Deville? That that's where that's literally
where it's coming from. Because the way the oppression or

(25:08):
the way the abuse of the way the attacks hit,
It's like, what did I do to deserve this? Is
my heart really black? Did I look in the room there?
So that's where that that's where that comes from. I
wonder if it's the hue of my skin and the
double chondre of that is being black in America we
deal with so much and it's just from the color

(25:29):
of our skin. And sometimes it's like, what are what's
going on here?

Speaker 9 (25:33):
Like all I did was walk in the room.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
I've had situations in the New town that I live
in where I've walked in the room with my afro
and this other woman who was a person of color.
She she's a non black person of color. What we
were was going into an er situation. My mother was
in the hospital. It was it was just some things
going on her medicine. But at the moment I was
a little distressed because we didn't know what was going on.

(25:59):
So ialk in a little flustered. I'm angry, just flustered.
And as I get to the desk, I said, I
smile because I always leave with a smile. And before
I can get the words out, she said, ma'am, Oh
my god, your smile calmed me down. I thought you
were about to walk up and curse me out, and
I went, why would you even say that? And I thought,
you have your afro, you're walking in as a black woman,

(26:21):
it's the hue of your skin because I live in
a rural town and it's just something as simple as that.
Just what I wonder what the color of my heart is?
What did I do to deserve this type of animosity,
especially when I'm leading with the smile, I'm leading with friendliness.
So it's taking an honest look at why I'm lamenting.

(26:43):
When we cry as black people, people they'll they'll use
our cry to help whatever cause they have, they come,
they use it to help. But then when it comes
to the actual healing helping us, Oh, you'll be a right,
it ain't nothing, you know, and.

Speaker 2 (27:02):
So oh, shut up, it ain't this, ain't you know?

Speaker 1 (27:05):
It's like whay at of hair, you know, ramsacked all
my stuff and I'm supposed to put everything down, you know,
I'm supposed to sit here and just not well. When
I wrote black Heart on the table, I was, uh.
I think I was either newly forty or coming into it.
I had just gotten off my shift at Amazon, and

(27:25):
that was a career change for me because I relocated
from the Bay Area. So I was used to doing
customer service type work, working in offices, and I was
tired of the commute. So I said, I'm gonna take
this Amazon job and just start over. It's physical, it'd
because of my body, but it was a lot of
hard work, and I was like, I got home really late,
and I was so tired.

Speaker 14 (27:45):
It was.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
It was one of those real tired. I was dealing
with Bill's finances. My child at the time was like
three or four. He was a young little boy. Things
I was going through with his father, things I was
going through with my own family situations, and just just
just and then started processing, Okay, how do I handle this?
How do I do this? And then thinking who can
I call on?

Speaker 5 (28:04):
What?

Speaker 1 (28:04):
I can't call on this person, I can't call on
this person, and thinking, where's my support team, where's my family?
Where's all these things I do need? I need help,
but I don't have those things because families are support,
but sometimes our families are so essential we don't get
that support. So in that moment, I felt, I just
felt like I want to lay my heart on the table.

(28:26):
I don't even have a husband to help me or
protect me with this little boy, That's what I was
thinking of in that moment too, And so then I
was just like, I just want to put my heart
on the table, and I must be a villain. Something
must be wrong. And so as I started pinning the
lyrics to black Heart on the Table, the poetry that
came out of it meaning I'm still human, even the

(28:47):
phrase You're gonna watch this lady tear herself down to
be built back up again. I knew when I said
that phrase. I said, I'm about to endorse some things.
But on the other side of it, there's going to
be great transformation, because I know when I take a
look within myself and put my cold, black heart, that's
that's becoming dark. Not so much fully bitter, just dark

(29:09):
from all the abuse and the things there. But I
put it on the table and look at the ugly
of it. It's gonna get rough, But on the other side,
it's gonna turn into a heart of flesh again if
I stick to it and do the work. So that's
where that's the long answer to answering.

Speaker 2 (29:25):
That question of what did that lie mean?

Speaker 8 (29:28):
Well, I'm gonna tell you.

Speaker 7 (29:31):
When that track came out, it made me look at
my heart, and it made me look at Brenda, and
I had to call my name, Brenda, Brenda, Brenda a lot.
And when you call your name, your consciousness takes and
says you gotta watch and your thoughts and the lips

(29:56):
how you speak of yourself. Yeah, And that's when the
healing process starts. And then I got rid of family.
I got rid of the environments that I was in. Look,
I live in the state of Indiana, and there's a
lot of white folks around here that and also other

(30:18):
people that are involved in my life that say who
they are for my support and they're not.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (30:25):
I had to omit all of that, and then I
noticed that I'm alone.

Speaker 7 (30:32):
Yeah, And I realized my spiritual self and the God
above saying you need to be by yourself.

Speaker 8 (30:40):
Yeah, And that's where the healing begins. You have to
heal by yourself.

Speaker 7 (30:46):
You have to walk the path by yourself, and you
look outside of yourself and you realize, oh, that's what's
all this is all about. Yes, And that's where your
healing comes from. And then you know that being alone
is not so bad. Right, Living in a peaceful home

(31:08):
is the best.

Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yes, it's not so.

Speaker 8 (31:11):
Where I gotta have a man, I gotta have somebody. No,
you better leave this, leave me alone, let me help.

Speaker 7 (31:18):
Right. People want to rush into get in somebody when
they know they need to be by themselves and they
need to heal.

Speaker 9 (31:25):
They need to heal.

Speaker 7 (31:27):
Yes, And that the fact that song. I took it
to heart and it played like a melody in my head,
and I threw my heart on the table, yes, ma'am,
And I looked at my heart and I started healing.

Speaker 8 (31:41):
And don't you know, I'm a healed woman.

Speaker 9 (31:45):
I may be.

Speaker 8 (31:46):
Sixty years old, but I'm still a kid at heart.
I'm still I still have a young child spirit.

Speaker 7 (31:53):
Yes, I may not look like i'm sixty because the
fact that God gave me my time back that.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
I've lost exactly.

Speaker 7 (32:02):
Oh my goodness, people look at and I don't look
like I've been through hell.

Speaker 17 (32:07):
I've been.

Speaker 8 (32:08):
I walked through the hell and everything.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
And he said God had blessed you.

Speaker 7 (32:12):
I said, yes he did, Yes, he did, And I
thank God forgiving me the time that I have lost.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
Yes, he will give it back to you.

Speaker 8 (32:21):
And not only that, he will change your look. He
will give you a glow.

Speaker 7 (32:26):
He will put a light on you and you will
walk around with this light. And people were like, look
at her, I can't stand.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (32:34):
So you should be proud of what you healed from mmm,
and you won't care what the trolls are saying.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
That's right, that's right because you came out.

Speaker 7 (32:46):
Stronger and you've been through hell bent over and all
of a sudden, your your light, your light, You're full
of light.

Speaker 8 (32:53):
Light right, that light like your.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
Song light exactly exactly that that that that's song is
so important, saying it's a light, learning that it's at
the end of the tunnel, but the light is You's
God like when that's the epiphany I got about life
this year, because the whole time I've been singing about oh,
there's let in the tunne leading me, and something in
me was like, do you realize the light is within you.

(33:18):
It's yes, because the videos I was dealing with was
that I'm being buried alive. That video I did has
to do with I'm burying myself alive, but there's still
breath in the body, there's still a light in the body.
You're not dead yet. Even though people are trying to
close your coffin to stop the story from coming out,

(33:38):
to stop all the various to stop both the light
and the power and the gifts, but also to stop
the stories of what they did. You're not dead. You're
still That's why they're trying to bury you, to shut
it down. What I've been learning, especially that part about

(33:59):
your look and getting your youth back. In the last
six years, I've been looking at pictures of myself and
seeing just what's been happening with me christ becoming in
my mom now when I did. And I've been learning
about the word cortisol and how the stresses of cortisol
will age you, will have you having the sicknesses, the
heart attacks, all of those silent stressors. One of the

(34:23):
songs I didn't it's not complete yet, but it's a
poem that I say, Cortisol cortisol. They fill me up
with cortisol, break me down with cortisol, make me round
with cortisol. Fight or flight, I live it all. I
just want a breath of fresh air. I take it in,
breathe it in, and don't declare war with you. Just
speak peace, belief in this orbit of truth. And what

(34:45):
that poem that I just said is saying is I
gotta stop the shadow box fighting because people are gonna come,
Situations are gonna come. Life is gonna come to rob
you of your energy and your youth and the things
that you need to use for the most important fights.
There's the shadow box fight and then there's the real fight.

(35:07):
I have to focus on the fight that requires me
to be in the ring with the light. And when
I'm doing that, it's not something that's laborious. It's not
gonna take my youth because I'll be operating out of
my natural spirit. When I'm in the shadow box, I'm not.
I'm operating from some power, but it's expelling energy and
taking the energy that I need to go and fight

(35:28):
the real fight. So at this age, it's making me
deal with is this important? Make a decision. Do I
really need to say something, Do I really need to
handle that at this moment? What's the more important fight?
And so I have to ask myself, is this shadow
box that's just gonna add cortisol, that's just gonna make
me look a little bit older, that's gonna make me
me breathing money? How about it? Go take a walk

(35:49):
and in ten minutes it's gonna go away. You know
these things like that. So I totally understand where you're
coming from with.

Speaker 8 (35:57):
With resting, with all boils down to it, people taking
all these supplements and vitamins, and it's really it's really
not helping your body.

Speaker 3 (36:09):
No, it's not.

Speaker 7 (36:10):
Our bodies are spiritual, we have we have a soul.
Our bodies are spiritual, and once you heal yourself mh,
your spiritual body, your spiritual soul will tell tell itself
here we go here, and then you start healing from inside.

(36:32):
It doesn't have anything to do with the physical things
that you're doing. As far as popular pills, there's no
red pill and no blue pill for you to take
to look younger. You need to wipe all that stuff
and put your black heart on the table and he
and heal and and and find and then all of

(36:53):
a sudden, your spiritual inside will recognize itself.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
If you don't know who you are.

Speaker 7 (37:01):
The world will take, it, will take and do and
sling your around and and make you look like a
wolf and everything.

Speaker 9 (37:09):
Yes, So so spiritually know who you are.

Speaker 7 (37:14):
Yes, and and dive deep inside yourself. Throw that black
heart of yours on the table.

Speaker 1 (37:20):
And look at it, and look at it, and look
at it.

Speaker 8 (37:23):
And don't you know.

Speaker 9 (37:24):
When you heal, it's not it's not flowers and and
and sun says, no, it's.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
Gonna look ugly.

Speaker 9 (37:38):
It's gonna stink. The ugliness has to come out.

Speaker 10 (37:43):
It has to come out.

Speaker 7 (37:45):
You'll be fighting yourself, putting your fist through the wall,
your help and everything, and you'll be mad at yourself
for putting yourself through that.

Speaker 8 (37:54):
But then again, it has to start from the inside out.

Speaker 7 (37:57):
That's right, and then you will be ill and a
matter of time. You usually take people a year or
two years to heal our lot.

Speaker 1 (38:05):
That's right, that's right, that's right. A friend of mine
said she was I was going through some stuff. I
think it was in that same scope twenty three, twenty four,
and I was telling her some things I was dealing
with a heartbreak. I'm gonna say it just like that.
I was dealing with a heartbreak and I didn't understand
it because it was kind of rooted in betrayal. I didn't.
I didn't understand it. And she said, channel, I need

(38:28):
you to understand something because I kept saying to her,
I said, why do I keep finding the same type
different same?

Speaker 7 (38:34):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Different type of life? Yeah?

Speaker 9 (38:37):
Life yeah, same life yeah yeah yeah life yeah, repeat itself. Yes,
and well she's seeing it to send you a different face,
but it's the same.

Speaker 1 (38:53):
It's the same thing.

Speaker 7 (38:56):
It's a universe telling Come on now, I'm ap you
out there and catch right, and.

Speaker 9 (39:04):
Then we're gonna start this process over until you get
it right.

Speaker 8 (39:08):
Shent understand God is doing this to them? No, you know,
to yourself.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
We have to use our discernment.

Speaker 9 (39:16):
She was sorry.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
She said, I know you've already seen the red plas
and I did. And she said, this thing in you
is not gonna be resolved in time. It has to
be resolved in how you respond and act when you
sense it, when you see it. Withdraw, pull back, don't engage.

Speaker 9 (39:36):
A man out there.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
Okay, it needn't be all in their feelings, black women,
Black women is doing this sometimes. Come on, men, feelings
and feelings is running the road of these men.

Speaker 9 (39:55):
They want to they want to point their fingers that.

Speaker 1 (39:58):
Black other people are doing this, right, No, no, yeah,
you participate in our own suffering sometimes. And that's the
lesson I had to learn. It was like channel, you
called it day one, you felt it, your discernment said it.
Why did you engage? Why did you move forward? Because
I thought I wanted this, I thought it was what
I want. I thought it was advice. So I wanted

(40:20):
to feel, to feel what I don't want to say addiction,
but more so like I'm alone. Well, let's deal with that,
because we can't keep going through that. You can't keep
lowering yourself for something that's not going to fulfill you
and not that. Yeah, knowing yourself to make the other comfortable, right,

(40:40):
people pleasing and.

Speaker 9 (40:44):
Yeah, that's anything anything right right?

Speaker 1 (40:47):
Right?

Speaker 3 (40:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (40:48):
According from friendship, associations, business, all of that. Yeah, but
it's it's it's a value worse what what? But my
friend was breaking down to me in that moment. She said,
you got to look in the mirror and value you.
Once you value you, you won't let nothing or no
one take from you. You will watch. She was like,

(41:10):
think of it like a jewel or a diamond. Would
you throw your diamond in mud? Or would you let
somebody you barely know touch your diamond. It's gonna be
in a box somewhere off to the side. Protect it.
That's how you have to be with you. She was like,
it's not gonna work itself out in time. It has
to work itself out in action. And some of this
you have to learn it, but not from the head.

Speaker 8 (41:31):
You have to learn it in your heart.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
You can know things in your head, but it's when
your heart knows where I'm at today, like where I
was a year ago versus where I am now. I
get it, like I get it. When she was telling me,
I didn't get it, like I was just like, what
do you mean It's in my head and not in
my heart?

Speaker 8 (41:50):
Like I was like, what does that mean?

Speaker 17 (41:52):
And now I'm like, oh.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
If, now I'm starting to love myself, value myself, appreciate
myself from that place. So now my no comes out
quicker and it comes like I'm not doing that.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
No, I don't have to do that.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
I'm the plant.

Speaker 9 (42:09):
It has nothing to do.

Speaker 8 (42:11):
It has nothing to do about women being stuck up
exactly high, exactly yourself.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
First, you love yourself, your feelings. Yeah, what's happening is
why are we both men and women? I say both
of us. We're not loving our own selves enough. And
then we're jumping into these things thinking that the person
is supposed to do that for us, and then we
just hit each other's dysfunction, we hit each other's toxicity.

(42:42):
We come into this pool. That's why we always say
that the dating pool has what and experiment in it.
It's because we're jumping in with all our dysfunctions and
just mud slinging all of that with no functionality, no healing,
no self love, no value worth. That's why we see
such other disrespect in certain situations. So I was thinking
about the most recent Yeah, rather heart.

Speaker 8 (43:03):
It's cold, cold, and they're depressed like that.

Speaker 7 (43:11):
So I'm gonna cut the conversation and I were gonna
talk about harm and be music.

Speaker 8 (43:17):
Meanwhile, let's play black Heart on the table.

Speaker 1 (43:20):
Alright, all right, this.

Speaker 6 (43:39):
Is my life.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
My song condition is so contry, so much dysfunctioning. What's
the press up be.

Speaker 17 (43:55):
For this season?

Speaker 2 (43:59):
I'm wondering what the colora. My heart is is it
you of myskine?

Speaker 6 (44:04):
This is my plan hard on the table.

Speaker 9 (44:10):
My shiel, my frame.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
From the Prythom member. This is my solemn pleasewear for
the truth.

Speaker 4 (44:24):
So how I wonder it's my heart is all that dude,
But I need overcomes back love. I need to overcome
nesback love. This isn't my cry, my cry for freedom.

Speaker 17 (44:49):
Take me a life.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
It's time for here lane, Let's go to therapy. Har
Lord this taxi.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
I can't fix the pain where your heart east, but
if you're willing to have the New Yorking, this in
my card on the table ship my fain for Remember,
this is my solemnly swear for the truth. How I

(45:29):
warm love? Because my heart is all up to.

Speaker 18 (45:33):
I need overcome these like love tradition, we need overcomedis
back love. I need to overcome these back son, swish
tu think.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
Say I said that love condition m the honest American condition.

Speaker 4 (46:06):
Oh disappendage attachment to a dream.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
It's supposed that a record this awful mountain off.

Speaker 19 (46:19):
It's big over I'm just waiting for sweet listen back.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
On the table much life, Ranpat holl from the rhythm member, listen,
my solemnly said, not truth.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
Or how I've followed up, because my heart is over too.

Speaker 16 (46:50):
Even overcomisic the tradition mean on loneisa, overcomey is black, up,
overcome is black.

Speaker 2 (47:15):
I'm overcoming this condition.

Speaker 9 (47:19):
That is my girl.

Speaker 1 (47:22):
Yes, now, girl, I.

Speaker 8 (47:28):
Can't wait till sequel to come out.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
But don't don't change.

Speaker 9 (47:32):
That song too much though.

Speaker 1 (47:33):
No, no, no, no, no, no, get up the messed up.

Speaker 7 (47:38):
Let's let everybody catch up. Let everybody catch up. Mentioned
the sequels coming up hopefully the end of this year
or the beginning of this year.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
Yeah, I would like.

Speaker 7 (47:50):
To ask you what do you think what's going on
with the R and B music industry. Do you think
it's dragging along or you think it's just uh, it's
trying to catch up or is it inspired?

Speaker 1 (48:05):
I feel like it's finding its way. I hear there's
some good quality stuff out there like I've been. I'm
I'm a part of a first shiit Exer's podcast that
I moderate help out with Tuesdays and Thursdays and sometimes
on the weekend with the Saint. His his name is

(48:27):
the Saint Christopher Williams, and he always curates really beautiful
playlists for both indie artists and some mainstream artists that
are now doing more indie work, but they still have
their fan base. And so from what I've been hearing
just from a lot of the music that's been coming
in the pipeline, it's finding its way. There is an evolution.
What I notice about R and B music especially, you know,

(48:50):
there's so many different phases of there's the like the
real beautiful, like the motown found of courts. Then we
move into what was going on more in like the
seventies and eighties. But then when nu jack swing came
in hip hop, which is beautiful, kind of kind of
shifted it. And it's not that those those creations are bad,
they're beautiful, but R and B started losing its voice

(49:13):
in its way. And what I'm noticing with just some
of the evolution of some of the artists that are
out now, they're finding it. Yes, some people are singing
more on the triplet and more in a more repetition
and less like longer legato sounding music, but there's some
beautiful things out there, and so I think as artists

(49:34):
continue with their craft, continue writing, singing, performing, we will
find its way I'm trying to think of some of
the people. Uh right now. I've been listening to a
lot of experimental art. Uh uh the Neo Souls little
I don't know, say Neosols singer, but the Loud he
does a progressive soul rock type stuff. And his most

(49:59):
recent project he just put out was a just Brightness.
And what I like about it is like a mixture
of R and B electronic, there's jazz, there's there's all
kind of uh, just different types of sounds. And when
you first hear it, you're like, oh, wow, where is
this going? But then you start hearing all those elements

(50:19):
that that that pop, that the R and B, the soul,
because you know that that soul music. I really liked
Beyonce's country album that came out. It grew on me
the first one it came out, I was like, Oh,
what is this? And then when I finally started listening,
I was like, oh my god, I get it now.
And so I went back to some of the stuff.
But what it But what I was noticing as I

(50:41):
was exploring both of these projects over the last couple
of years, it's mad like two years. It's just it's
finding its way as long as we continue to put
our hands to the plow of the craft, we will
be Okay. AI is out now, and here's how I
feel about AI. Come on now. If it's AI generated,

(51:04):
like you're using it only to create, that's the problem.
But if it's AI assisted, where you've created something and
maybe you want to help expand your storyboard to see
where it could go or give you some options, that's okay.
I had I had two situations where I've got a
lot of books out and I wanted to get some
audio books together. I can record them here. It's just

(51:26):
gonna take some time. And I was like, oh, I
can do this audiobook and it was sounding pretty good,
and I did a poll. I was like, what do
you guys think, shuld I just go ahead and do
an AI audio book? Or should I record it? They're like,
you know, we want you to record it, don't We
don't want you to do that. And one person said,
I feel like the soul gets lost. So it's not
so much said it's bad, it's just we can't use

(51:47):
the crutches of it. If it's assisting you in your journey,
use it because sometimes it will help give you a
really great progression. Maybe you're stuck on an arrangement. You
could throw your thing, your stuff in. There's a lot
of programs out now and it'll unless there.

Speaker 9 (52:00):
Are people don't know what the hell they doing right.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
And that's and that's where it goes back to craft.
I call myself a multidisciplinary artist, and I say that
for the literal meaning of what that means, the discipline
of the crafty to learn. I brung it up, but

(52:26):
I take right, I take my pen seriously, my creative writing.
When I was a theater major at S. S. S.
You and and and up there doing all these little
presentations I did when I served as a clergy minister,
and the training program and learned how to speak in
public and preach and teach and not to use the pullpit,

(52:48):
but use it to help myself as well as others.
When all these things are training is important. We don't
want to charging, yes, to use their.

Speaker 9 (53:03):
It ain't about the thing about people.

Speaker 8 (53:06):
Americans.

Speaker 9 (53:08):
Yeah, they.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
Some of us are lacking.

Speaker 9 (53:12):
And I honestly would say that.

Speaker 7 (53:14):
Lack because we have so many conveniences that we absolutely
use them every day.

Speaker 1 (53:23):
Purpose purpose, ye, purpose, Yeah, And that's that's it is.
Because sometimes people are getting thrown up in situations and
they haven't had the training. Performance is an art form
and a craft. You know, when I learned, I've been
okay for me. I've been doing it since I was three.
I was a dancer, a part of a dance academy group,

(53:46):
and so they train us how to do competitions, how
to walk up on that stage, smile, let your judges.
Make sure your movements are prestine, because you're gonna get
marked down if you if you one time, my arm
got sore while I was up, and I was like, you, beten,
I left this arm down because they are going to
knock you down, and your whole group is gonna be
mad that you know that your points got missed because
I I used to. I used to go through it

(54:08):
with those trophies, especially if another group that I know
was was not as good as us would beat us
for whatever. You know, there are little semantics was going
on in that particular competition. I mean the car like
we should have gone first place, we did it, you know,
just those type of things. But it's a craft. I
love the a game of a craft when when you practice,
when you crackedic I love watching behind the scenes of

(54:31):
someone preparing a show. That that is, that is so
much brilliant watching together.

Speaker 8 (54:37):
Oh, I was in a talent show and it us.
It took me and uh six other girls.

Speaker 9 (54:46):
We was a girl group that was when the dark light,
the stroll light was poppable and you have.

Speaker 7 (54:53):
White gloves and white house, a white outfit and you
would dance on stage and you would see gloves and
u white.

Speaker 8 (55:00):
Physical body moving but they couldn't see your face.

Speaker 7 (55:04):
Yeah, so we were very popular and we was We
came in seventh because that was a wrap group that
came and but the thing was, this was many years ago,
before cell phones, before computers really became popular.

Speaker 8 (55:23):
We didn't even have a laptop. But the thing was
we practiced.

Speaker 1 (55:28):
We practiced so much.

Speaker 7 (55:29):
Yes, we practiced so much that we had to remember
our steps and most importantly, we had to know our position.
We didn't notice how big the stage was. We had
to calculate and know our position.

Speaker 1 (55:48):
I got up on that stage.

Speaker 9 (55:50):
I was in the mid back on the farm left.
I got on that stage. I started cracking up. I
started laughing.

Speaker 8 (55:59):
But that was like a stage fight for me.

Speaker 7 (56:02):
You get nervousness and then one of the dancers, one
of my girlfriends, said, Brendan, get back in place.

Speaker 9 (56:09):
We got back in place, and we did it.

Speaker 7 (56:12):
But we was and then we had we won seventh
places and got one big trophy and we had to
fight over rotations on.

Speaker 9 (56:22):
Trophy and our but the experience that we we were.

Speaker 7 (56:28):
Involved in something we uh we did it, practiced or
we sweated, and we got to perform on stage in
front of the local UH community. Yes, and our names
got popular. We was just popular, and that was the

(56:49):
thing when you're a teenager, you want to be popular, right.

Speaker 9 (56:53):
But we got up on that stage.

Speaker 17 (56:54):
And we danced.

Speaker 9 (56:56):
We did our number.

Speaker 8 (56:57):
People wanted a copy.

Speaker 9 (56:59):
Uh and one to borrow our white gloves.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Glove we didn't give.

Speaker 9 (57:05):
We didn't give them my white gloves all white.

Speaker 7 (57:07):
My white gloves are in a frame right now because
it's a good memory for me to remember how hard
we work. We did and we crafted it ourselves because everybody,
all the girls, we.

Speaker 8 (57:22):
Knew how to dance.

Speaker 7 (57:24):
You knew the steps, we knew the familiar dances, and
we knew what familiar dances.

Speaker 8 (57:29):
To put in on a certain song.

Speaker 7 (57:32):
And we didn't have an instructor to help us or nothing,
because there was so many instructors that had uh community
centers where they would teach us how to dance. There
were dance instructors all over town. So we put our
heads together and said, we're getting in this talent show
to see. When you want something so bad, you putray

(57:55):
brains together. Ego is thrown on out the door. That's right,
Ego's thrown out the door. Ain't nobody gonna be out
here better than nobody.

Speaker 8 (58:07):
Right because they're all on the same team.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
That's right.

Speaker 9 (58:12):
Work.

Speaker 7 (58:13):
Ain't no one is better than nobody. Yeah, So that's
how I see how this what you call this rat
race a life where and even involving the music industry. Yeah, yeah,
it's we gotta play like a team. We gotta play
like a team and be honest about it, and be

(58:35):
honest about it.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
No ego, no ego, be shrewd about the business of it,
and be very relentless about the craft and about what
you want to present. One thing I've been working on
now with the many projects that I have on my
table is that presentation moment. I've had various iterations of

(58:59):
it in the ask what I'll say four years and
my last conversation with my producer when I had my
last performance. It was my first time performing again since
being sick, and I said, I want to get rid
of that chair. I gotta get my body back into
the condition it was before I got sick, because I
don't like even though it was my sister, and I said,

(59:20):
it was a good performance, but it wasn't all the
way you because I know you were hurting. I said, yeah,
my body hurt, and so I told myself, now we
got to get back. When I say back, it's not
so much. I'm never gonna be young again. I get that,
and there is now a life on the other side
of having a heart attack. But I'm still alive. So

(59:41):
now what I'm looking at is what does the accommodated
version of that presentation look like, and how can I
get it back to the level that I know it
can be. Never watered down your performance for anyone or anything,
because what happens in that translation moment that connection is inspiration.
People wanted your gloves. It was because they were inspired

(01:00:02):
by what you did. They were like, oh my god,
that's cool. I want your gloves. It's that's how I
look at it. For these projects that I've been working
on just now, and with the show that I that
that I'm putting together for it, I have a lot
of it's it'll be a mixture of theater and like
band type things, but it would still be theater as well,

(01:00:23):
because even some liturgical I can I can even use
that word as well, some a lot of different dancing
and things like that as well. And then just with
the music side of it, I believe in that moment
because so much happens to performance that is such a
beautiful space. It feels like church to me anytime I
watch performances, and that has definitely been a lost art form.

(01:00:44):
There are few artists out there who still do it,
and I applaud them and appreciate them. But that's something
I would love to see come back in R and
B music is really spending time in that performance moment
and not short changing it or watering it down. Yeah,
you know, because because I oh a good performance, I'll

(01:01:06):
be right there saying I'll be screaming. My last concert
I went to was Blau and Harlow's and Sacramento, and
I was like, I just got to go see them
because they him and his band they get up there
and they just when I say, they just put it
on the they put their heart on the table.

Speaker 9 (01:01:20):
Just rock.

Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
It's the most raw melody music the band. Everybody in
that room was just waving their hands out and I
was like, that's how a show is supposed to be.
That's how I can say it. Like I say that
everything because it's it's hard when you see someone get

(01:01:43):
up there and they want to do it, but they
didn't spend enough time in rehearse. They didn't maybe they're
not as confident yet. You have to look at what
we used to say in our ministers and training class
are my former pastors always say to say, the preach
moment is the most important moment because you're you're about
to speak the word and give people information that they're

(01:02:05):
gonna take. Don't ruin it because you're not prepared. Don't
ruin it because you're scared. Get up there, let go
of whatever's on you, and you release from that heart.
Be prepared in your heart. We would have a phrase
and be prepared in your heart, mind and manuscript, so
you get your heart right to work on whatever sermon

(01:02:26):
you're working on. Then you a perction heart mind then
you get your mind together, because firstus your heart, you
have all these ideas. Then you're brainstorming what it's about
to be said, what's the word? You're looking up all
the information, getting everything you need. Then you put the
manuscript together as far as what the sermon is going
to be, so that it's clear, because sometimes you can
mess up because what you're presenting is not clear. And

(01:02:49):
so I take that, I take I take that, and
I added that to what I was already learning from
dance class as a young girl to when I went
to theater school, and and when I took that, it
shaved years off of how I present. And what she
always taught us was observe, observed what other people do

(01:03:10):
now from a judgment place, but just learning what to
do just an observer. Yeah. Yeah, And when I was
home when I.

Speaker 8 (01:03:19):
Was eleven, mm hmm, I was in a foster home
and it was a preacher.

Speaker 7 (01:03:26):
It was a preacher's home, and I was just there temporarily,
and he seen how intelligent I was. He taught me
piano and noticed that the voice I had, I had
a loud voice. Yeah, I had long fingers, perfect for
playing piano. He made me lead person for the children's choir.

Speaker 3 (01:03:49):
M M.

Speaker 7 (01:03:50):
So it was going so perfect, so good, because I
was more of a leader, not of a follower the kid.
They followed me, they listened to me, and they and
I made everything directly perfect until there was one pupil

(01:04:11):
that was so scared to get in front of the
church congregation to sing. And I was telling, look at me,
I'm eleven years old, and I'm telling a parent, I
don't think it's a good idea to put this young
man in front of the congregation.

Speaker 8 (01:04:31):
Now he's going up there.

Speaker 7 (01:04:33):
If these other kids can do it, he can do it.
And I said, okay. I was so nervous, chanel Yeah.
He got all of us kids got up there and
we were singing. And then when it came to this
pupil to do his lead part in the song, he

(01:04:54):
was standing there pissing on hisself. I at that time,
I was too young to understand psychological and mental issues here.

Speaker 8 (01:05:06):
Stage wright or andy. I didn't understand all of that.
But I the pupil came to me and he was nervous,
saying I can't do it.

Speaker 9 (01:05:15):
I just can't do it.

Speaker 7 (01:05:16):
And then the parent made him go up there. He
was singing, but he was pissing on hisself. Until this day,
I understand. I understand greatly. Yeah, you cannot push things
to make it worse a I A I. You make

(01:05:36):
things automatically and do a convenience do a convenience way
with AI. It does not turn out right right something,
something's not gonna be right about it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:48):
And so.

Speaker 7 (01:05:49):
And also when you push your person to do something
when they're not ready, it's gonna turn out ugly somehow.

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
Yeah, it could break them.

Speaker 8 (01:05:56):
Yeah, I would never I would never forget that.

Speaker 7 (01:05:59):
That was a epittone of my age at that time,
that seeing a young man pistel on itself in front
of a congregation, in front of Yeah.

Speaker 17 (01:06:07):
It was.

Speaker 9 (01:06:08):
It was ugly. And you know what I did.

Speaker 7 (01:06:11):
I told uh uh, preacher Daddy, I don't want to
be a person the choir no more.

Speaker 9 (01:06:20):
I told him I didn't want to do it no more.
He said because of that.

Speaker 1 (01:06:23):
I said, yeah, that can impact him for the rest
of his life.

Speaker 7 (01:06:29):
And it impacted me because I didn't want to have
nothing to do with children, junior choir no more. Every
time I get involved with junior choir.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
I think about that young man, a young man.

Speaker 8 (01:06:41):
Yeah, it's just pissed. I never can't wipe it off
my face.

Speaker 1 (01:06:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:06:46):
Yeah, I would never push nobody to do anything if
you don't want to do it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:51):
Okay, it's dangerous. It's all because you mentally phycologically and
it's like on some one's learning them in skill. You
don't want to push them past where they're at. Let
them spend time in whatever stage they're in. A hell yeah, right,

(01:07:18):
because sometimes people have to give but they're not healed yet,
and then they step out into it and then they's
just ramsack and hurting people because you're not ill.

Speaker 6 (01:07:29):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:07:30):
I'm so glad we could laugh about it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:31):
But at the same time.

Speaker 1 (01:07:34):
Of it, it's.

Speaker 8 (01:07:37):
Yeah, we're only human.

Speaker 7 (01:07:39):
And that song or you had a song that's that
I will play, Uh that's called uh.

Speaker 8 (01:07:51):
Something about I am human?

Speaker 7 (01:07:54):
I am Yes, I'm still human. Yes, I'm still human. Yeah,
I will play that and the end of the show.
I also want to ask you about the song I
wanted to get you on my show when you came
out with that song.

Speaker 8 (01:08:14):
I got this music on here.

Speaker 20 (01:08:16):
Heartbreak, heartbreaker, Yes, tricking game, Okay, you're ready, You're ready.

Speaker 1 (01:08:26):
Okay. So that was one of the first songs I
wrote as a young girl. Now not all the now,
the main is the hook and the pre course is
what I wrote in the nineties as a young girl.
When I first was trying to get into the songwriting,
I had a little group. We needed song so I
started writing songs. And so that was just coming from
what was going on at the time. It was like,

(01:08:47):
you know, recognizing when a guy is just really just
trying to play. He's a heartbreaker.

Speaker 3 (01:08:53):
Yeah, I like you.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
You're acting as if you like me, but you really
don't like me. You're a heartbreaker. This a the game
and going through a lot of situations. Uh, you know
now that I'm a single parent, and then understanding the
game now being a single parent, and just where I

(01:09:16):
fall in and when I say where I follow them
on the total pole. It's not that I don't see
myself as a prize on my value and worth. It's
understanding how men try to play. Sometimes we have to
understand how how men see you. They see you as
a placeholder, Yeah, they see you as a dream girl.
Do they see you as Oh she out of my league,
So I'm about to humble her. She give me some
time or Okay, that's just my placeholder.

Speaker 8 (01:09:39):
I could do this and this and that.

Speaker 1 (01:09:41):
I live by the phrase, now they know what they're
doing before I give people the benefit of the doubt
thinking they don't realize they're hurting me. They don't realize. No,
they know exactly what they're doing. Okay coin so a
heartbreacord trick and the game. I gave myself permission to
talk my ish that's the saying because I knew.

Speaker 9 (01:10:05):
I knew you had it and it's.

Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
Spoken word, and I did it with the way Hank
Jamela and I did it was we knew because I
wrote it in the nineties. I had like one variation
of it. Hank was like, I just feel like you're
in a lounge telling a story, and that's how I
want to present it. So he played around with some
chords and some progressions and we just mapped it all together.

(01:10:27):
Yes it was if it got to five minutes, but
we were like, it has to be said, and everyone
from my generation who hears it loves it. Like I
opened it up Pimp and his Memican game. You know
that line right there slaps everybody in the face. When
that's the first thing I say, because when you look

(01:10:48):
at when you look at pimp culture, think of what
is it? Hustle and flow, things like that when you
really put your mind on it. Like I said, I've
been looking a lot of coaches, a lot of love coaches,
a lot of people who both men and women, just
to just to get the information, some people who are
manipulators or abused. When you understand the anatomy of a

(01:11:10):
person who's coming to take or abuse, we have to
be aware. A lot of times we as women are
not aware, especially Black women. We are trained to be
a particular way. We're told this night and shining armor
is gonna come. And but then we're getting something else
in the f boy behavior and.

Speaker 2 (01:11:27):
We're like, what is this?

Speaker 1 (01:11:28):
What part of the game is there? Yeah, And sometimes
you know, we'll have those old mothers or the aunties
and they're telling you like, look, let me tell you
something right now. They drive one thing and you got
to listen, and we don't. We're not really we're listening,
but we're not taking it in because we haven't broken
the layer of awareness yet. It's the layer of I'm

(01:11:48):
in love. There's limericks and people are playing on the
love in limerates and in experience, and it's just I'm
coming to take from you, that's all it is, you
my place. I'm about to break your heart. And so
it's hereaker in a game, you know they say hate
the player, what is it a don't hate the player,
hate the game. That's exactly where I was coming from,

(01:12:12):
and I wrote the song. I think at the end
of it, I was like, you ain't my friend, you
became my enemy. Wait a minute, the dominant control.

Speaker 2 (01:12:20):
It's a rush.

Speaker 1 (01:12:21):
Sometimes I like it when you love bombing me, But
wait a minute, you don't love me.

Speaker 9 (01:12:26):
You're just trying to take because as soon as I
give you.

Speaker 3 (01:12:28):
What you want?

Speaker 6 (01:12:29):
What a man?

Speaker 9 (01:12:30):
What a love bomber?

Speaker 1 (01:12:31):
Go?

Speaker 17 (01:12:31):
Who like so?

Speaker 1 (01:12:34):
So I gave myself permission to just just just articulate
the lesson learn from understanding the awareness that there are
people that will put you in placeholder status, and if
you don't stand up for yourself, you're gonna participate in
your own suffering of that ebb and flow of a

(01:12:54):
bread crumber of someone who doesn't really want you, They
only want to have their experiences with you. But then
bread crump get just give you a little bit that's
not love. That there's no love in that. That's something else.
And they're playing it ain't it though, And when you're
in it, it's it's.

Speaker 9 (01:13:13):
Like, he don't love me.

Speaker 1 (01:13:14):
Why am I still doing this? Because I'm alone and
lonely and I don't want to be alone and and
I think, I think it's gonna work out, and no
it's not. And that's when you then, that's when you
go through the journey of why am I allowing this?
Do I value myself? Is this what I want?

Speaker 6 (01:13:31):
You know?

Speaker 9 (01:13:31):
So the song when does the song write it? Tale
comes along?

Speaker 1 (01:13:37):
I wrote write it till so write it till was written?
Was that eleven twenty eleven, and so, uh, it was
a faster version, that's what I wrote first. It was
more of like a rock guitar kind of version because
of the band The Joystone with my ex we still

(01:13:57):
have music up now, our eke pro is on Spotify
and everything, and so I had already penned that. So
we made a rock version, and so I wanted to
replay on that topic, so poetic beats and I sat
and worked on the progression to make it more.

Speaker 7 (01:14:15):
R and b.

Speaker 1 (01:14:16):
And so that was what we came up with with
the one that's out now is right a till that
version of it, and so that deals with the conversation
of it may not go forever, it could end tomorrow.
I'm gonna write it to the wills fall off, and
sometimes the wills do fall off, and we have that

(01:14:38):
it happened, but that it's talking about where you are
in that to think of it. There's chemistry, there's connection,
but maybe there's no more capacity because you need those
things in your relationship. You need all of them to work.
Sometimes you can have great chemistry with someone, but it's
like we're not gonna work. We're oil and water, even
though we loved each other, and there's no capacity. So

(01:15:03):
that's where write it till comes from. It's it's acknowledging
I love you. This is how I love you. But
the reality is it could go forever or it could
end tomorrow. So I'll write it to the wills fall off.
I know it's so my writing could be very cut throat.

Speaker 9 (01:15:24):
I know, No, you have to be like it today.

Speaker 1 (01:15:29):
I'm at it all my writing my journal. Yeah, it's
just my observation and journal entry in life. That's really
all you.

Speaker 3 (01:15:36):
Tell I learned it.

Speaker 1 (01:15:40):
Elder's been telling us that.

Speaker 7 (01:15:46):
My auntie uh huh, all my antis, my great grandma,
my aunties and yeah, even some.

Speaker 9 (01:15:53):
Of my uncle's good lord. Yes, yes, so as we talked.

Speaker 7 (01:16:02):
About some of the signal uh songs singles. Yeah, I
will be playing those singles to end the show. Okay,
any what editions to your subscription you would like to
mention right now?

Speaker 1 (01:16:17):
Just you can follow me on my chanel J Wilson
dot com. You can go there to get any information
on just what's coming up. Definitely follow me on Facebook, Instagram,
and TikTok. I'm always posting different things, both music related,
book related. I've been doing two series how to Style
my Apple and also Halloween makeup tutorials right now because

(01:16:38):
I've been explored, I've been wanting to get back into
my theater world, and so this is the closest I
can get to.

Speaker 17 (01:16:43):
It right.

Speaker 9 (01:16:45):
Doing that.

Speaker 1 (01:16:46):
That's why I've been doing it.

Speaker 9 (01:16:47):
Whenever you makeup, man that comes in handy that.

Speaker 8 (01:16:55):
Halloween coming up.

Speaker 1 (01:16:56):
And yeah, I'm so. I'm a quirky individual. I love animation,
I love art, I love sci fi films. I love
anything where people are putting on prosthetics and they just
commit to the character. So I'm having a I'm having
a ball. Like every time I come out of my
room with it, my son or my sister, They'll be like,
who are you today? And then I'll get comments and

(01:17:20):
so you know, I'm just learning the life of a
content creator. I've been I've been doing this work for years.
I have all the equipment. I say, you know what,
I want to really push them in this content creation
and see just what it's like, because they always tell
you in this season with the streaming society, as an artist,
you should also do content creation to help bring in
more people to buy into what you're doing.

Speaker 9 (01:17:42):
To be doing this, you was not doing this. No,
what gave what sparked you to start doing this? Ashley?
And did it started? Ashley last year?

Speaker 1 (01:17:59):
Started a lit little bit. Yeah, and I started dabbling
in it. But what I was, what I was noticing,
was I was holding back. I said, I'm holding back.
I feel like I need to just put it all
out there. But I know people are gonna get when
I say weirded out, it's not so much weirded out.
One guy yesterday said one of my looks was bizarre.
But he loved it, and I said, I said, Chanel,

(01:18:21):
if you're going to be the artist you already know
that you are, you have to leave here empty. You
have to put it all out there. I took my
son to the Balloon Museum in San Francisco I want
to see. It was July and it was a beautiful
exhibit of just they took balloons and made various different
kind of art exhibits. Some things were really cool, it psychedelic,

(01:18:44):
just all kinds of stuff and it just took me
back to my sampansion State days and I was like, Channel,
this is the kind of art you need to be producing.
You already think about it, you already I draw it.
In my personal time, I was doing makeup tutorials. I
just wasn't filming it at first, so I was doing
it at own by myself. But just be like okay,
I was, and something was like, just turn the camera on.
Just turn the camera on and show your quirky and

(01:19:07):
be unapologetic about it. And since I've been doing it,
it's a freedom and I've been thinking like I could
put these in some of my videos. I can, I
can really do this now. Before I felt like I
was at one layer of putting my art out. Now
I feel like I'm opening up and expanding and it's
making better artists. So it's this is you're watching me

(01:19:28):
in an act of courage of just showing. I call
myself the black Willie Wanta. I always have so okay,
I've always felt that way when it comes to my art.
I'm a magician. Come in and see this lovely spectacle.
You are going to leave inspired and empowered. It's pure imagination,

(01:19:52):
That's what it is. Because I really okay, cool on.

Speaker 9 (01:20:00):
And then when you told me you had a troll,
I'm like worthy.

Speaker 17 (01:20:03):
I know, I know.

Speaker 1 (01:20:04):
That was such an experience that I had did one
of my how to style my apple because I used
to work at Lane Bryan and toured in college and
so they taught us how to dress your shape basically,
you know, even when you're plus sized, and so I
don't even know which garment I had on. I put
on one of my garments and the guy was just like,
you should be ashamed of yourself, and I kind of

(01:20:26):
I don't know if people referred to my size right,
And I was just like, okay, I guess I got
my first draw. I didn't even say anything. Tom. I
was just like, Okay, fine, this it's silly. It was
funny to me because you know it.

Speaker 7 (01:20:46):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:20:46):
I was just like he really typed that, and it
was just like and it was like, yeah, I could
email him back and say, I'm not ashamed, I'm actually
happy because because for me, I was laughing because since
I've been doing the how to style my Apple, It's
making me more aware of my own beauty value and
worse again, it goes back.

Speaker 7 (01:21:06):
That's your wad, that's your soul, that's that's speaking to
her right like so and then here come the universe.

Speaker 9 (01:21:20):
That was that was a challenge for you. It was
it really was either you don't, either you stand up
or saw again.

Speaker 2 (01:21:30):
And it was like you know what, I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:21:32):
It's like, fine, that's how you feel. That's how you feel,
but you're not going to disturb the orbit because I'm
block him. I don't know if I blocked him. I
don't even know if I erased the comment. I was
just more like I literally saw it and started laughing,
like I don't. I was good.

Speaker 9 (01:21:52):
I was like, there was no form of it was
just that looked good, that real good.

Speaker 1 (01:22:04):
And that led me into the makeup because the tutorials
where I'm doing all these extravagant Halloween looks. Of course
I gotta go. You gotta commit. The phrase and acting
is you commit to your character. If this is the
character you're playing that's totally out of the ordinary, who
you are, you have for the sake of the story,
commit to what you're doing. And there was one thing

(01:22:27):
I was doing the other day where I was trying
to do the intergalactic girl and I said, you know,
commit don't laugh. Don't laughing at the end, And it
was like, just commit to it. It's funny, it's or
maybe the story might be a sad story, or maybe
you know, whatever it is, you commit to it for
the sake of what it is that you're doing, so
that aren't for art's sake, so to speak. So yeah,

(01:22:48):
when that troll came, I was just like, Okay, that's fine.
I'm not shadow boxing you because that's just your opinion.

Speaker 2 (01:22:54):
I love me.

Speaker 8 (01:22:58):
Now, J Wilson one.

Speaker 7 (01:23:00):
I want to think coming back on my show, we
got to do this. Yes, Now, I believe you're a whole,
healed woman, thank you. I believe you're a whole healed woman. Yes,
and people will learn from your journey, from your past
journey and the songs and lyrics you have created.

Speaker 1 (01:23:22):
Yes.

Speaker 7 (01:23:22):
And is there any encouraging words you would like to
give those out there in the world that's dealing with
certain topics.

Speaker 1 (01:23:33):
Yes. My latest thing that I've been saying all the
time on the podcast I work on is keep your
head on the swivel. Life is going to come at
you fast. Things are going to happen. Don't let it
knock you off your soul or focused. Be like the
palm tree when the wind hits bend, pop right back

(01:23:54):
up because things are going to happen to knock you know,
people are going to challenge you. You know what the
universe has been doing to me presenting more things have
accelerated where I've had more situations where people are challenging
me either my articulation, my intelligence. And it's like that troll.

(01:24:21):
It's laughable when it happens, it's not And I'm not
even playing with them. I'm just like, oh, I know
you were having that moment. In the moment because my
head is on the swivel, I'm fine. I'm not moved
by it. And a lot of people like to disregulate you.
By doing that, I lived a life of disregulation and

(01:24:41):
the abuse that I experience. You have and throughout my
In twenty twenty four, someone said to me, I know
how to regulate, you don't. And whether they meant that
from a mean spirit place or just a place of
giving me an awareness. I took that and took it
to my therapist and said what does regulate? And then
I had to learn regulation? And I said, what's been

(01:25:06):
happening is I'm letting people disregulate me. Just because people
show their selfs doesn't mean I got to turn around
to show myself.

Speaker 7 (01:25:15):
Right, just just just let let it hit, let it hit,
it hit, yeah, because the reality is, yes, I.

Speaker 1 (01:25:23):
Know I'm stronger, Yes I know I can get petty
with them.

Speaker 9 (01:25:26):
So what do you say for people?

Speaker 7 (01:25:29):
What do you say any encouraging words to persons that's
all in their feelings.

Speaker 8 (01:25:36):
When you are they are moved by their feelings all
the time, Talk to you have have We have a.

Speaker 1 (01:25:43):
Thing in therapy called have tools for your toolbox and
when you know you're in a situation. It was an
anger management class I took. When you know you are
in a situation around a particular person that goes out
of their way to this regular and there are people
like that that narcissis narcissists, whether they're grandiose or covert.

(01:26:03):
I can give you a whole lecture on it because
I know it. And it's not that I know it
to be a know it all. I know it because
I want solutions. I don't like living under that kind
of needle situation. But having the tools and your toolbox
are okay, we know we're at this level. Have like

(01:26:24):
your counting techniques, being aware of your breathing, knowing of
what your triggers are, and knowing how much you can handle.
If you know it's about to get to a certain level,
take a step back before before those next two things,
because what happens is they're trying the person is trying
to get you to react so then they can turn

(01:26:45):
it around and to the reactive abuse and make it
look like you're the problem. You're just reacting to what
they did. A lot of people like that will go
out of their way to trigger and it's really wrong
in self as it really is, and if it's evil,
it really and it's also acknowledging there's something that I
live by. You can either agree to agree, agree to disagree,

(01:27:06):
or agree to disagree from afar, and you have to
make that decision with each person you come in contact
with in life. Are we at a stage where we
can agree to disagree and still partake in interactions, or
are we now at a place where I know you
are never gonna change, You are always gonna do something
to this regulate me, and we now have to be

(01:27:27):
at agree to disagree from a far. Now that I'm
forty four, I'm in a place where I'm very specific
about where I go and where I don't go. Sometimes
I can't go to family events anymore. Man can It's difficult,
Like I miss people. But when you already know what's
going to happen, sometimes you have to withdraw. It's hard

(01:27:51):
because we've been trained or that's your family, that's your friends,
that's the because people are going to try you, especially
when they're jealous of you, especially if you have some
kind of talent or have the nerve to want to
have some light. And it goes back to what the

(01:28:13):
color of my skin is? Am I the villain? No,
there's a lot of villain origin stories because the villain
got bitter and didn't take the time to step back
and heal. That's how you become the villain.

Speaker 8 (01:28:24):
You don't hear, you don't heal.

Speaker 17 (01:28:26):
You like.

Speaker 1 (01:28:28):
Miss they love the company, They attach themselves to the
pain or the wound. I have always been a solutions
oriented person. I've always been more reactive. I don't start messing,
I finish it. That's the kind of person all I'm
a saittary. So you see, exactly see, and it's just
it's for me now. It's have those tools like the

(01:28:50):
back to the cours. Have the tools for your toolbox.
Recognize what level you're at and if you notice, okay,
she gonna say eight more things and then it's on.
So let me exit. Now, it's okay to it's okay
to retreat. Sometimes people will think I'm retreating because I'm
afraid of them. I'm retreating because I'm protecting you. I'm

(01:29:12):
retreating because I'm also putting myself in self preservation mode
so that we don't go somewhere we don't need to be.
It's called being responsible, and that's also a part of regulating. Now,
sometimes you may be in a situation where it's all unexpected.
You didn't know that person was gonna do it, And
those moments you have to have phrases for yourself. For me,
what I tell myself every time I see someone trying

(01:29:35):
to disregulate, I said, you, Noel, right now, you need
to make a decision. You already see where they're going.
Don't engage. There's no need to engage. What is the
wind from this? What are you gonna gain from telling
them off? What are you gonna gain for putting them
in their place? Okay, yeah, you may put it in
their place and they're gonna cry, But is that what
you really want to do in this moment?

Speaker 3 (01:29:57):
What is there?

Speaker 1 (01:29:58):
M Oh, what are they trying to do? Okay, play
the win, don't give them what they want. You're stronger.
When I recognized how strong I was in those settings.
Some of the situations and the outcomes are always hilarious,
and and they're hilarious later on I can look at
it and be like, oh wow, Okay, I didn't I

(01:30:18):
didn't have to act out. I didn't have to lose character.
I heard today I listen to a podcast where they say,
and someone's acting out, and someone's acting you know, a
fool don't you act the fool, because then people will
see who the fool is. A lot of times people
want me to go into that, and I'm not. I
have to say this on them. I'm not a hot
headed person. I'm an animated person. I'm a quirky person.

(01:30:42):
I'm a very friendly person. But I'm not a pushover either.
People take that as oh, she's this, she's that, and
then they think you're some weak person. And then they learn, oh,
she's not weak. Oh wait a minute, oh oh you know,
and it's like, I don't have to But the thing is,
now we're not on the school ground. I don't have
to prove myself right. Myself can look another way. So's

(01:31:04):
having schools, also listening to different therapists and coaches. There's
a lot of great coaching out there narcissis abuse. There
was one I listened to about covert narcissists because and
with the way she taught it, I can't think her
name right off of my head. I'll have to send
it later. She was saying, there's some cases in life
where you have to work for someone who may be
a covert narcissist, so you can't immediately get it could

(01:31:26):
be your boss, it could be maybe your family members.
In some situations where you can't. Yeah, right, there are
tools for that too, And that one of the ones
I love that she said, you can, she said, she
goes like live it's a phrase fluff and fold and
vomit later. And what that means is play the game

(01:31:47):
with them, play aloof and then when you get away
from them, just kind of if you need to write
it out, vent do whatever you have to do. And
she was like, do that by keeping the perspective. And
once you keep your perspective clear in those moments, it
doesn't impact you as great. It won't just regulate your mindset.
It's a true Yeah, it's a true act of compartmentalization,

(01:32:11):
and we actually can do it if we're skilled in it,
if we train in it, if we're actively participating in
the tools. It's about awareness. A lot of times we're
not aware of those tools, and then we're just flung
into something and we're like, why am I lamenting? Why
am I crying out? That? It all goes back to

(01:32:32):
black arrom the table. I'm not when I tell you
what I learned, that's all it is. It's there's a
time to lament, there's a time to go into your
area in orbit and deal with your over the flow
and who's disturbing my orbit? What needs to get out
of my orbit? How do I affirm myself? And then
there's a time to whip out the pin in your
arsenal and fight. And the fight may not always look

(01:32:55):
like a physical fight. Sometimes the fight is just standing
your ground and being that press and your presence alone
is impacting them. The fact that I'm standing here and
I'm arguing with you is pissing you off more than me.

Speaker 9 (01:33:09):
So I'm I'm that kind of person.

Speaker 7 (01:33:11):
But oh my god, Well we can talk a lot
about this subject. And my friend, my sister girlfriend, and yeah,
I love you. I can learn a lot and learn
a lot from you and.

Speaker 1 (01:33:30):
Stare from you too.

Speaker 7 (01:33:32):
I do do your songs to your songs and anyone
that just tuned in, which I can see there are
a lot of people that have just tuned in.

Speaker 9 (01:33:43):
Uh she now j Wilson.

Speaker 7 (01:33:44):
She is very particulate and uh, she is very keen
and takes very seriously at what she does.

Speaker 1 (01:33:53):
In her music.

Speaker 7 (01:33:54):
And she has a new single out caoled Aura and Orbit,
and it is streaming now. Go right ahead and tell
our listeners where your new release is streaming online.

Speaker 1 (01:34:08):
It it's streaming on all streaming platforms, Spotify, Apple Music.
I think it's Weezer title. If you go on song Link,
it'll give you all of them. It's on YouTube. There's
a couple of visualizers up now if you want to
see the lyric video. I got two trailers out for it.
The music video should be done soon. It's like I said,

(01:34:29):
I got a lot of green screen compositing that I'm
working around the clock on. But yeah, on all streaming
and downloading platforms, and you can also get it on
band camp too. There's a I put together an Aura
an Orbit compilation project on band Camp where it leads
with ort Orbit and then it gives people like a
like a little one on one class of all the
music that I have. That's out now if you want

(01:34:50):
to have something like you know, it's like seven songs,
and then there's one bonus track if you want to
just hear some of the stuff that I already done.
So that's on band Camp now you can listen to it.
I'm gonna get that one up on all the streaming
platforms soon so people can have access to that there,
but on back camp they let you listen to like
three times and then they'll say do you want to donate,

(01:35:12):
You can do that as well.

Speaker 7 (01:35:13):
All right, and thank you all for the information you
gave Chanelle And hopefully we'll meet right back here again
and the hopefully the end of this year or the
beginning of next year. And I want to thank everyone
for tuning in. I'll be playing some of Chanelle music,

(01:35:36):
even the news single. Everyone stay tuning in. Uh, this
is Lady Diva Live Radio. I appreciate my support and
followers following me here on podbem dot com.

Speaker 8 (01:35:49):
I have more shows coming later this month.

Speaker 7 (01:35:52):
Anyone that wants to be a guest on my show
just contact me at let's jazz it up at gmail
dot com and will set the schedule for you'll be
a guest on my show.

Speaker 8 (01:36:03):
And I want to thank you now.

Speaker 9 (01:36:05):
I love you.

Speaker 8 (01:36:06):
Let's stay in contact.

Speaker 9 (01:36:09):
I had fun.

Speaker 7 (01:36:10):
I want to say good night everyone and have a
good night, love each other and take out the time
and take care of each other.

Speaker 8 (01:36:18):
Good night everyone, good night.

Speaker 1 (01:36:22):
You can clap your hands if you want to. The
song's about damn goa.

Speaker 3 (01:36:31):
Found if enough today.

Speaker 2 (01:36:34):
But they won't. Something I knew I had to get
to the swear.

Speaker 3 (01:36:43):
Some day.

Speaker 2 (01:36:46):
Came up, another change.

Speaker 17 (01:36:51):
Came this pressure get.

Speaker 2 (01:36:53):
Him Jesus God to fight and move ball and then
it's fair hay some.

Speaker 1 (01:37:05):
And leave my life song very strong because there's a
light at the end of the tun and my long gonna.

Speaker 2 (01:37:17):
See some day.

Speaker 5 (01:37:20):
There is Scotty the govein and the long one orange
nor long Lona. How can my body be full of light?
Yet my song been as good.

Speaker 4 (01:37:38):
Staysay the igon meat and the pain and strip.

Speaker 2 (01:37:45):
Oh no, I'm not gonna lay in my.

Speaker 1 (01:37:48):
Bad uh huh, the malwaking looking for Okay, I think
now I still got bred hair beside.

Speaker 4 (01:38:01):
Me.

Speaker 2 (01:38:02):
Just let me get one food tuo ba and I'm running, running.

Speaker 1 (01:38:08):
Toua like there's a light the start and the no
lonna see.

Speaker 6 (01:38:18):
Somebody there.

Speaker 5 (01:38:23):
The bay right and I'm noging no one Lord day
the gray clothes on, hang.

Speaker 1 (01:38:36):
And get out the backs. Skin, I come out these
spots hanging. Won't be scared, skin won't be scared.

Speaker 2 (01:38:49):
No, No, there's a.

Speaker 3 (01:38:52):
Light at the in the sun, and my long lonna.

Speaker 2 (01:38:58):
See somebody.

Speaker 4 (01:39:01):
There is is coy the bab and im not gonna origen.
No one, I'm gonna there's a light everything the turn
and my Nona say some day there is God the

(01:39:24):
bay and I'm not gonna orition. No, I'm gonna.

Speaker 2 (01:39:32):
I'm going to reach. I'm going to read.

Speaker 1 (01:39:37):
I'm going to reach your Sunay Beaches Sunday. I'm gone
see see, I'm going to read here ownA reaches Sunnay
Reaches Sunday.

Speaker 2 (01:39:55):
Thank you?

Speaker 9 (01:40:08):
Are you still busy?

Speaker 1 (01:40:16):
M hm?

Speaker 2 (01:40:22):
It's Valentine's Day. I just want some time.

Speaker 1 (01:40:28):
Did you forget?

Speaker 17 (01:40:29):
I forgot?

Speaker 2 (01:40:31):
Just riding me real quick?

Speaker 1 (01:40:34):
You know I'm an right with you. I'm a right
into the little start off.

Speaker 2 (01:40:41):
I got something to do then, ain'ty know?

Speaker 1 (01:41:00):
You may me happy happy as in the season State
of Shade Ano the song that can be Team for
Revery as team for Revery as the horizon comes in face.

Speaker 6 (01:41:26):
So I ride this God till the wills flung.

Speaker 2 (01:41:34):
And A ride this cook till me e, and I
ride they sway. I got o.

Speaker 17 (01:41:50):
Ould t.

Speaker 21 (01:41:53):
Bar time, baby baby know Amy angry, angry that a
fils me for you lot fells.

Speaker 22 (01:42:12):
As keeper's capons gave and there was some great never
leave me. So so I ride this god.

Speaker 6 (01:42:29):
Till the will's fun, and I.

Speaker 2 (01:42:34):
Ride this cock tell me e.

Speaker 13 (01:42:40):
And I ride this sway.

Speaker 17 (01:42:45):
Coming.

Speaker 2 (01:42:49):
I would hide to tear.

Speaker 17 (01:42:51):
The bar, make the tell.

Speaker 2 (01:43:00):
Maybe it may be.

Speaker 5 (01:43:02):
Own role mango as.

Speaker 2 (01:43:08):
It's it's not in his own role mango.

Speaker 15 (01:43:13):
How how.

Speaker 3 (01:43:19):
Just looking in my eyes as.

Speaker 2 (01:43:22):
It's middle by n into this So I'll try it's car.

Speaker 19 (01:43:32):
And a.

Speaker 1 (01:43:34):
It's call.

Speaker 14 (01:43:39):
And now it's way. I would lie to see the
bard sound so alady it's called.

Speaker 1 (01:44:00):
Cold.

Speaker 13 (01:44:01):
The Nald has got ritt.

Speaker 21 (01:44:09):
The anorda this watt.

Speaker 2 (01:44:18):
Ousidial the lord sound.

Speaker 17 (01:45:00):
H m, I know, helping his American game and love.

Speaker 19 (01:45:35):
It feels like it's the same. Nh no, No, I
don't want to do it today. But my black Cords
got something the same.

Speaker 2 (01:45:46):
Nh na. I watch a baby need.

Speaker 4 (01:45:51):
That time I nick control is rush even though it
cuts me holler at my feet. He's got me questioning
all of my real house on to say, why, oh yeah,
how much you play toy?

Speaker 2 (01:46:12):
So I'm just leave me alone home.

Speaker 3 (01:46:17):
And find another girl.

Speaker 4 (01:46:19):
Find another girl nice sweet, because I'm not playing it.

Speaker 3 (01:46:26):
She ain't not playing it.

Speaker 2 (01:46:29):
You just gonna guess lie and then try to fight.
Then now be fighting Hell.

Speaker 1 (01:46:35):
No, he nothing but a heartbreak up, a hearttaker.

Speaker 3 (01:46:42):
It'll take your heart.

Speaker 2 (01:46:44):
And throw it away.

Speaker 1 (01:46:46):
Just a heartbreak up, a hearttaker. You'll take your heart
and throw it to this game. It's just a heartbreak up.
A hearttaker.

Speaker 2 (01:46:59):
He'll take your.

Speaker 1 (01:47:00):
Heart and throw it away. Just a heartbreaker, a hearttaker.
It's not a long it's a tricking, aay.

Speaker 17 (01:47:11):
Sending nan American layer. It's a crime out. I know
we can't take.

Speaker 3 (01:47:19):
Transaction, know is.

Speaker 4 (01:47:21):
What we must do, and somebody will play the food.
We ain't together, I know, I know done that.

Speaker 19 (01:47:32):
But if you bring the other dude, I'm gonna be
talking sack now in a minute. You're confusing me. You
don't want me, but you don't want to send me
breathing nah who Yeah, I'm not playing toy, So I'm

(01:47:53):
just leave me alone and find another girl by another girl.
May sweet.

Speaker 17 (01:48:03):
I'm because I'm not playing it.

Speaker 19 (01:48:07):
Gean not playing it.

Speaker 2 (01:48:09):
You just gonna guesslide and then try to fight. Then
I'll be fighting him.

Speaker 1 (01:48:16):
No, he nothing but a heartbreak up, a hearttaker, and
take your.

Speaker 13 (01:48:24):
Heart and throw it away.

Speaker 1 (01:48:26):
Just a heartbreak up, a hearttaker. You'll take your heart
and throw it to this game. It's just a heartbreak up.
A hearttaker. He'll take your.

Speaker 2 (01:48:40):
Heart and throw it away. Just a heartbreak up, a hearttaker.
It's not long. It's a tricking. Ayay, it's not long.
It's a trick it again. It's not load. It's a
trick it again.

Speaker 9 (01:49:00):
I know it's not lone.

Speaker 2 (01:49:02):
It's a tricking again. It's not lond it's a tricking again.

Speaker 4 (01:49:10):
I was just fun to you, some average spot to you,
and I in love to you, and you're trying to
blame me.

Speaker 17 (01:49:24):
For a fool.

Speaker 19 (01:49:25):
Then you betray me and kind of blame me and
leave me on alone and my mizzle bring.

Speaker 1 (01:49:34):
It's like you left me in shadowed glass because roast
colored glasses don't see, don't rain nothing lad A heartbreak up,
a hearttaker.

Speaker 17 (01:49:46):
It'll take your heart and.

Speaker 2 (01:49:48):
Throw it away, just a heartbreak up, a hearttaker.

Speaker 1 (01:49:55):
You'll take your heart and throw it to this game.
It's just a heartbreaker, a heart take. You'll take your
heart and throw it away.

Speaker 2 (01:50:07):
Just a heartbreak up, a heart taker. It's not love.
It's a tricky away.

Speaker 3 (01:50:43):
Oh this is my life.

Speaker 1 (01:50:49):
Sorry, my song conditions, it's so contry, so much dysfunctioning.
What's the pre's sop.

Speaker 17 (01:51:03):
For this season?

Speaker 2 (01:51:07):
I'm wondering what the color of my heart is? Is
it you of Myskine?

Speaker 6 (01:51:12):
This is my plane had on the table.

Speaker 13 (01:51:18):
My shie is my frame.

Speaker 2 (01:51:22):
From the rhythm member. This is my solemn please swear
for the truth. So how I wonder that my heart
is all the dude? But I need overcompany.

Speaker 3 (01:51:39):
It's back love tradition.

Speaker 2 (01:51:44):
I need to overcome nes back love. This isn't my cry.

Speaker 9 (01:51:54):
My cry for freedom may be a lie.

Speaker 2 (01:52:00):
It's time a here name.

Speaker 1 (01:52:03):
Let's go to therapy hard this toxicity.

Speaker 2 (01:52:11):
I can't fix the pain where your heart is.

Speaker 4 (01:52:14):
But if you're willing to have the New Yorky, this
in my black card on the table, push my fame.

Speaker 2 (01:52:26):
For the primember.

Speaker 1 (01:52:29):
This is my solemnly swear for the truth. How I
warmed up because my heart is all up true. I
need overcome the back love tradition. We need overcomedies back.

(01:52:54):
I need to overcome these.

Speaker 3 (01:52:56):
Back sun swish truing.

Speaker 2 (01:53:00):
You say I said lack love conditioning.

Speaker 4 (01:53:10):
Damn this American conditioning, thissapanage, attachment to a dream.

Speaker 2 (01:53:20):
It's apposed that I record.

Speaker 1 (01:53:24):
This awful mountain off. It's a big over I'm just
waiting for sweet.

Speaker 5 (01:53:33):
Listen not bad card on the table, my ship.

Speaker 1 (01:53:40):
Not real plot the rhythm member. Listen to my solemn
really said, not truth or how I'm fall up because
my heart is over due. Neither overcome.

Speaker 2 (01:54:00):
He's back up, I mean allies back. I need overcome.

Speaker 3 (01:54:12):
Me is back up.

Speaker 2 (01:54:17):
I need overcome is back up.

Speaker 17 (01:54:23):
I'm overcoming this conditioning.

Speaker 3 (01:54:31):
Oh pays back. There's this pressure value.

Speaker 2 (01:54:48):
Crushing on me. It pulls me a head and makes the.

Speaker 3 (01:54:54):
Telea like the center of a custody leading.

Speaker 13 (01:55:01):
I know you want me.

Speaker 2 (01:55:03):
I can feel your only energy.

Speaker 3 (01:55:10):
I feel you're hounding from now. I know we've got.

Speaker 5 (01:55:13):
Bay same miss, and he even know you. Melgee, baby baby,
I wash my OI, not take us to surprise, baby baby,
I'm coming to.

Speaker 9 (01:55:30):
My OI enough.

Speaker 17 (01:55:31):
So I sis the pressure on you.

Speaker 3 (01:55:37):
While you're thinking bout me.

Speaker 4 (01:55:41):
Oh, because you see a queen elevate scaly maybe bid
me jobs and cousin bailies sires.

Speaker 3 (01:55:51):
Oh then he go only s o you so only
come in to my.

Speaker 2 (01:55:58):
Energy.

Speaker 3 (01:56:00):
I'm gonna let you ask him birth you know, go wstu.

Speaker 15 (01:56:04):
And any baby.

Speaker 3 (01:56:06):
Oh no, no, your own taste they baby washing my own.

Speaker 2 (01:56:13):
Not take us to sprown.

Speaker 3 (01:56:17):
Baby baby, I'm coming to my own.

Speaker 13 (01:56:21):
Even the say sixty am.

Speaker 6 (01:56:23):
The time, I just feel so love man.

Speaker 2 (01:56:30):
When I'm Aron, you must.

Speaker 3 (01:56:32):
Be have the bab and move so sp right from Yeah, they.

Speaker 5 (01:56:43):
Baby washing my own. No, maybe a baby. I'm coming
to my own.

Speaker 13 (01:56:55):
No savey sixte ah, no time, sir.

Speaker 3 (01:56:59):
They been option

Speaker 5 (01:57:02):
Mat No hats to supper in Ada County ant resisted
may understand s

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