October 25, 2025 • 52 mins
Episode: 2025.11.36
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari inspires you to embrace your past and face life’s challenges with resilience. Maybe you’re feeling weighed down by shame, or perhaps you’re struggling to forgive yourself. Join Nancy as she explores how to stay strong through difficult times and transform pain into empowerment.
Nancy begins by responding to listener emails. The first is from Brian, who’s finding success with his new business but feels pressure from his wife, who’s concerned he isn’t spending enough time with the family. Nancy encourages him to carve out moments for loved ones, making balance an essential part of his entrepreneurial journey. The second message comes from Abby, who recently lost her beloved Labrador, Bob, after 14 years together. Nancy offers ways to keep Bob’s spirit alive and suggests a comforting poem to help her through her grief. Finally, Sammy writes in to share her frustration with dating apps while searching for love. Nancy offers her encouragement to stay hopeful, along with practical tips to prepare for a fulfilling relationship.
Our inspirational guest, Brian Tellor, shares his journey of self-forgiveness and healing after a traumatic childhood led him to self-sabotaging behaviors. Growing up with an emotionally and sometimes physically abusive stepfather and an often-absent mother, Brian left home at 16, seeking validation through relationships. His infidelity ultimately led to the end of his marriage and a breakdown during which he felt suicidal. Despite these struggles, Brian has found resilience and now guides others as a life transformation coach. Tune in to hear how Brian healed and overcame life’s storms.
If you’re struggling to see a way forward, remember that it’s okay to feel pain. Allow yourself to express your emotions—cry, be angry—and then find ways to release the past by sharing your story, whether through journaling, confiding in someone, or speaking openly. Discover your “why”—the reason you get up each morning. By releasing the past and identifying what drives you, you can see difficult experiences as seasons that will pass. Weathering life’s storms truly exemplifies what it means to live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast:
https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari inspires you to embrace your past and face life’s challenges with resilience. Maybe you’re feeling weighed down by shame, or perhaps you’re struggling to forgive yourself. Join Nancy as she explores how to stay strong through difficult times and transform pain into empowerment.
Nancy begins by responding to listener emails. The first is from Brian, who’s finding success with his new business but feels pressure from his wife, who’s concerned he isn’t spending enough time with the family. Nancy encourages him to carve out moments for loved ones, making balance an essential part of his entrepreneurial journey. The second message comes from Abby, who recently lost her beloved Labrador, Bob, after 14 years together. Nancy offers ways to keep Bob’s spirit alive and suggests a comforting poem to help her through her grief. Finally, Sammy writes in to share her frustration with dating apps while searching for love. Nancy offers her encouragement to stay hopeful, along with practical tips to prepare for a fulfilling relationship.
Our inspirational guest, Brian Tellor, shares his journey of self-forgiveness and healing after a traumatic childhood led him to self-sabotaging behaviors. Growing up with an emotionally and sometimes physically abusive stepfather and an often-absent mother, Brian left home at 16, seeking validation through relationships. His infidelity ultimately led to the end of his marriage and a breakdown during which he felt suicidal. Despite these struggles, Brian has found resilience and now guides others as a life transformation coach. Tune in to hear how Brian healed and overcame life’s storms.
If you’re struggling to see a way forward, remember that it’s okay to feel pain. Allow yourself to express your emotions—cry, be angry—and then find ways to release the past by sharing your story, whether through journaling, confiding in someone, or speaking openly. Discover your “why”—the reason you get up each morning. By releasing the past and identifying what drives you, you can see difficult experiences as seasons that will pass. Weathering life’s storms truly exemplifies what it means to live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast:
https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening The Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy, Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
And thank you for joining us today. I'm Nancy Solari,
and this the Living Full Out Show, and today we're
talking about still standing. That is right, you are going
nowhere right, whatever's happening in your life. This is just
a season. This is like a storm, and we're going
to get you through it. And you're gonna get through it.
Believe that.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Now.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
I want to make sure that you also stay with
us because at our next segment, we're going to be
joined by Brian Teller, who's gonna really share a lot
of really hard to talk about moments in his life,
Moments of infidelity, moments where he's felt suicidal, but you
know what did he need to do to get past
those bad thoughts to get to a place where he
(01:00):
was safe but also thriving. And I think that it's
important that we hear stories where people have had those
gritty moments and how did they get to a better place.
So he's really authentic. You're gonna love talking and learning
from Brian. So coming up, we want you to hear that.
But I also want to make sure that you know
that you're always supported beyond today's show. Make sure that
(01:22):
you go to the app store look for the Living
Full Out Show app. It's free. You can listen to
us on the go or at the gym. But I
know that when we hit pockets of time where we're
just not feeling ourselves, we're feeling let down. You know,
I want you to know that you can pull out
the phone, you can go to the app, you can
listen to show after show, and I promise you there's
(01:43):
going to be a guest who has a circumstance that
isn't exactly a fit to what you're going through, but
it will give you some hope, it'll give you some guidance. Now,
we get a lot of people that write into us
about various dilemmas, and what I'd like to do here
today is just give some feedback, some coaching to some
of those who have written in. And so the first
(02:05):
one I hear we have is Brian. So actually, ironically
the same name as our guest today, So Brian, thank
you for writing in. So the thing about Brian that
I think is really interesting is he is starting his
business and although it's going well, he's feeling a lot
of demands from his wife that he's not attentive enough,
he's not around enough. Ironically, she is a stay at
(02:28):
home mom, so what he is doing is the main
financial outlet for the whole family, and he feels like
he is not meeting her needs. He feels like he's
not there for his kids. But at the end of
the day, this was a decision together they made that
he would start this business. And I want you to know, Brian,
(02:48):
I am with you as a business owner myself. I
can appreciate how long the days can be. And it's
funny how just when you think you're going to have
a day off or go on vacation, that's when everything
hits right, That's when the unexpecteds come. And so the
thing is is you have to find a way to
(03:09):
plug into your family and still give to your business.
Always remember we've got seven days in the week, twenty
four hours, right, and we have to use that time wisely.
We have to schedule it out. And now some of
you are not schedule people. I am a planner. I'm
glad I am, but you have to find a way
to bring that balance. Because what if you build this
(03:33):
amazing business, it's thriving, it's everything that you and your
wife hoped it would be, but your marriage falls apart, well,
then it's all for nothing. Right, And the thing is,
those kiddos, they are going to grow fast and then
you're going to turn around and you're going to have
missed major moments. So it is important to find that
(03:53):
balance and let that be part of your story.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
You know.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
One of the things that I find so compelling about
business owners, and I interview a lot of them, is
the story the long days, right, the times they had
a campaign go and it was too expensive or it
didn't work out or whatever. That looks like that story
is compelling. That's actually what makes customers want to support you.
(04:18):
That is what down the line when you get to
moments where you've hit a financial milestone or you're given
an award, that you can tell those stories. So you
kind of have to find a way to balance your schedule.
But again, I know you will, It's just finding those
pockets of time for your family when you know that
(04:38):
you don't really need to be work in the business.
You'd like to, but you don't really need to be.
I'd also like to reach out here to Abby. We've
got a note from her here, and actually I can
appreciate what she's going through. Her labidor of fourteen years
just passed away. And I have a guide dog named
Frost and he's a lab A yellow, So my heart
(05:02):
goes out to Abby. You know, the thing about losing
anyone that we love, but even a pet, is it's
hard because we know they don't live forever, not that
any of us do. But you know, I'm always impressed
when I hear about like a twenty year old cat
or something like that. But most pets, you know, there
is so much time, and it is a risk that
(05:24):
we run right to put our heart on the line
in any way when we love someone, or especially loving
a pet. But you're better for that time that you
had with your little loved one name Bob. Love that
love the name Bob. So the thing is what you
want to do is think of ways in which you can,
(05:45):
you know, keep bob spirit alive, right, And I don't
know if you've kept these things or not. But like
I had a dog named Lionel Richie. He was with
me in the early years of growing our company, living
full out, and he passed away you're thirteen years due
to a heart condition. And when he passed, I actually
kept his collar, And I kid you not, if I
(06:07):
were to take his collar, which I've put in a
special place, it would still smell like him. So hopefully
you've kept that if you wanted to have that little memento.
You know, there's also ways in which we can just
have pictures of them. I actually have like a little
wall in my office area dedicated to Lionel because he
was named after Lionel Richie the Singer. So I have
a little picture of Lionel Richie the Singer, and I
(06:30):
have a picture of my dog Lionel and myself. And
then I also have this poem and it's about the
Rainbow Bridge, and the Rainbow Bridge is a great poem.
I don't know who wrote it, but if you google it,
you'll find it. And it just gives a lot of
peace to knowing that you know your bob, your beautiful Bob,
went to you know, Rainbow heaven, and so I would
(06:53):
definitely check that out and know that our heart is
with you, okay, and reach out to us if you
need more support. I also want to acknowledge that an
email here from Sammy, now this one I totally get
as well. So Sammy is highly frustrated the dating apps
are going nowhere, and I understand that. And she goes
(07:15):
on to talk about how she feels like everybody is
a catfish and she'll message people and nobody gets back
to her, and you know, it's just leading to nothingness.
And she's tried other online sites as well and still
not finding, you know, her partner in crime. So to
be honest, I struggle to find many success stories on apps.
(07:38):
I think sometimes we have to put ourselves out there
in every way we can. And so I would not
give up on the app, because what if you're you know,
your soulmate if you want to call it, that is
on the app, but the timing just wasn't right. I
would also engage in multiple avenues. Maybe it's the app,
maybe it's a freeze subscription on a website as well,
(08:02):
work both. I think there's nothing like in person, right,
and there's many ways in which you can meet people,
you know, events in the area, concerts, you know, even
volunteering meeting people that way. But the biggest thing is
is to not lose hope.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
You know.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
The thing is, if love was easy, we'd all have it, right,
it would be on every corner. Everybody would just be
you know, live in a Hallmark movie, right. But the
truth is it is not easy to find. And it's
a little bit of timing because where what you want
to do is think about two things. Number one, we
know that you're looking for that love, right, and that's great,
(08:42):
and hopefully you have some vision of what that person
might look like, not restricting yourself too much, but maybe
the heart of the person, the character of the person,
so that you're intentional with when you're swiping or clicking
or messaging that you're you know, putting out there who
you were looking for. At the same time, this time
to work on yourself. You know, when you meet that person,
(09:04):
are you are you klind of clearing the clutter of
responsibilities or errands or you know, maybe household things that
you could be doing, like take advantage of this time.
So when you meet that person and you want to
be busy and soaking up your night, spending time together,
or the weekends doing little staycations that it isn't in
the back of your mind like Oh, I wish I
(09:25):
had cleaned the garage, I wish I had cleaned my room.
I wish I had, you know, prepared my taxes right
before I met this person. So take this time to
do those things. Also, single time is actually great time.
I got to tell you what I am single. It
is a I feel like I'm a party in box.
I every date is the perfect date, right, It's everything
(09:47):
I want, although I'm always into love as well. But
you know, I think you have to celebrate being alone
and finding what makes you happy and do things that
you enjoy. And when you can be alone and happy
and satisfied in your own half, well when two halves
come together, they make a really dynamic hole. So that
(10:09):
is what you're striving for. But please do keep all
of your messages coming. In fact, we are going to
start releasing these to our website called Ask Nancy at
the livingfullout dot com website, so if you want to
tune in there, you'll be able to write in at
connect atlivingfullout dot com and through ask Nancy that portal.
(10:30):
We will be writing you back with all this coaching
and feedback. Know that we believe in you very much.
Make sure that you stay with us. Brian Tyler is
coming up truly an inspirational story you don't want to miss.
We are all standing tall today, right, we're living full out.
We'll be back.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts. See,
that's why it's important to be at our strongest. Every year,
(11:46):
millions of people in the US get the flu, especially now.
No one has time to miss out on moments that matter.
So get your flu shot. Find out more and get
my flu shot dot org. Brought to you by the
AMA CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app.
Speaker 6 (12:03):
Stop That dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 7 (12:13):
Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
No, so you can have more control.
Speaker 6 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistakes.
Speaker 8 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking, and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 8 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have
prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Warning the cap is loose on that cat yeng.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
Oh don't wait. You have the power to change the outcome.
Visit do I have prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Today?
Speaker 5 (12:53):
That's do I have Prediabetes dot Org?
Speaker 8 (12:55):
Brought to you by the AD Council and its pre
diabetes Awareness partners.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Heh oh brah, that's buzzed. Oh yeah, yeah, he's starting
with the woots and now a speech.
Speaker 9 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 7 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 8 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying when it's time to go home.
Speaker 10 (13:18):
Somebody call me a ride.
Speaker 11 (13:20):
Love that guy, me too.
Speaker 8 (13:21):
Know your buzzed warning signs, call for a ride when
it's time to go home.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message FROMNITZA and the
AD Council. True, You're out.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
You got me Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 12 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's nfamilyfire dot Org. Brought to you by n Familyfire,
Brady and the AD Council.
Speaker 13 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the lingo.
Speaker 9 (14:06):
Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally. Just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I Am like so jelly of your
Unicorn phone case.
Speaker 13 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the ad Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Silary. As
a life coach, Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You could ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Welcome back. I'm Nancy Silary in this The Living Full
Out Show, and today we're talking about still standing. You
are going nowhere, and in fact, our inspirational guest today,
Brian Teller had had that same motto in his mind
through going through moments where he had infidelity, where he
had to figure out as a man who he wanted
(15:53):
to be, to to claw his way through times of
dark thoughts, and today being able to stand and be
proud of who he is. So i'd like to welcome
Brian to the show.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Thank you, glad to Brian.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I am glad to have you here, and I want
to thank you in advance for being as honest as
you are with your story, because I know these are
hard to talk about. It's easy to look good right,
but to me it's more courageous and inspiring to have
someone like you just really pull back the curtain and
such honesty. So thank you for that. One of the
(16:28):
things I want to really acknowledge early on is you
know how you grew up? Because I know your dad
left your life at an early age and you had
a stepdad. Your mom was in a new relationship, but
she was gone a lot from the home and most
of the time it was with the stepdad. What was
(16:49):
that growing up like? What was the intensity like in
the home?
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Well, it was pretty quiet for the most part, because
we kept our own spaces. You know, I spent a
lot of time in my room, He spent a lot
of time downstairs, and so but when we did come together,
it was pretty explosive, usually over little things in the house, like,
(17:17):
you know, something got eaten out of the refrigerator that
he wanted then that would be an excuse to come
to me for it, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
And what got so epically bad that literally had you,
at sixteen, leave the home and never come back.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Well, as I got older, the abuse got greater. It
was psychological for the most part, an emotional abuse in
the house, name calling, putting me down, things like that.
But as I got older, it started to become a
little more physical to where it would give to the
point that we'd be out in the front yard and
(18:00):
wanting to fight. And as a sixteen year old, I
just you know, I couldn't. I couldn't deal with that
much longer. And once I got my own car and job,
I was able to get out of the house and
make some space.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
When you left the house, and you were kind of
in this limbo stage really from sixteen to eighteen and
so forth, did you just sleep in your car or
did you stay at friends?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I did spend some time in my car, but I
did have friends as well. That when I first moved
out of the house, I stayed with a friend and
his father, and that their situation wasn't much better than
my situation. So I was kind of moving from, you know,
one abusive household to another one of negligence. But I
(18:54):
did spend some time in my car, and that was
when I got a little bit older, and I was
about eighteen years old, and all.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Of that toxic environment and people and behaviors, and especially
even at your friend's house. I can only imagine how
stressful that was and how you probably just wanted to
feel happy, normal, whatever normal would possibly look like. And
(19:24):
for you, you found your joy in women. You kind
of they were what validated you. And why was that
such an important factor rather than a job. What was
it about women that gave you that super power feeling.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
That's a great question. I think it was just really
looking for someone to bring me up. I never really
had the mother's figure. My mom worked a lot and
had to be a provider in the fam family, so
I didn't really have a relationship with her at least
(20:04):
not a good close mother son relationship with her as
I was growing up, and.
Speaker 6 (20:09):
I think I was.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Looking for that in other women, that motherly, that motherly
instinct that taken care of the nurturing, the things that
I didn't have. And it also I think it boosted
me up as far as my self esteem issues. If
I could have girlfriends, if I could, you know, have
(20:36):
the attention of multiple women, then it made me feel
validated as a man.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah, and I do understand that. I mean, I remember
one time I was dating this guy and actually he
wanted to marry me, but I just I couldn't. It
was just he was really, really a heavy drinker and
it was just not the right fit. And then I
met somebody who was a bright light, and my friend said, Wow,
that person is like water in your desert. So I
(21:06):
understand that sometimes that new person can just be like
finally exhale or a gasp of air. And you did
finally meet who would become your wife. What was it
about her that made you ask her to marry you
and want to have a future.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Within stability. I saw that she had a family that
came from stability, that the mother and father were still together.
They had the white picket fence lifestyle of the American dream,
as you would say, and I thought with her that
I found somebody that could really change who I was
(21:49):
and helped me settle down and find some structure in
my life. Unfortunately, some times that, you know, the hope
of that doesn't play out into the future. And you know,
we definitely had our share of problems in our relationship
(22:11):
and our marriage, but ultimately, to begin with, it was
the stability that I was looking for that I needed
in my life.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Is that almost pressure trying to be somebody that you
want to be but that you weren't, Because that sounds
like a lot of pressure.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Oh yeah, definitely is. I spent a lot of time
working and just to kind of give myself an excuse
as to why I couldn't be the man that I
that I was inside, you know it. You know, I
worked three jobs at one point in early in our marriage,
(22:49):
and I think that was really a distraction more than
anything for me, because I didn't want to deal with
the problems that were servicing or bubbling up. I didn't
want to deal with the fact that I wasn't the
person that I that I It meant to be. You know,
in dec inside, I was putting out a mask to
(23:11):
facade and to make this relationship work.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
You know, I give you credit though, for trying, because
it would have been so easy, I mean, asking someone
to marry them, actually fulfilling and saying I do and
doing all that, doing those actions. You know, at least
you tried. It actually would have been almost safer to not,
you know, and so I give you credit for that.
I want you to stay with us, Brian. There's so
(23:38):
much more to your story, obviously, and for everybody today,
it is about saying to yourself, I am still standing.
I have been through it, but I'm not going anywhere.
You have to fight for your life. You have to
fight for your cause, your purpose and everything that you
can be. That is what it means to live full out.
We'll be back.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Today.
Speaker 14 (24:04):
In school, I learned a lot. In chemistry, I learned
that no one likes me. In English, I learned that
I'm disgusting, and in Physics I learned that I'm a loser.
Speaker 10 (24:16):
Today in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
Speaker 11 (24:20):
In jim I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In history today, I learned that I'm trying.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Today.
Speaker 10 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick. And at lunch,
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 12 (24:38):
That no one In biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
And in math, I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 14 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today.
Speaker 5 (24:49):
The only thing I didn't learn is why no one
ever helps kids witness bullying every day.
Speaker 15 (24:56):
They want to help, but they don't know how teach
them how to stop bullying and be more than a
bystander at Stop Bullying dot Gov.
Speaker 16 (25:02):
A message from the AD Council.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com Forward Slash boot Camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
Com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 16 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
I know.
Speaker 16 (25:44):
They'll try to break your will. They'll push you to
the edge of your sanity because that's what kids do.
But this car is your territory, not theirs. Defend it.
Who makes the payment, who cleans it, who drives it?
(26:05):
You do, That's who. And in here your word is law.
So when you say you won't move until everyone's buckled up,
you won't budge an inch until you hear that clear
Never give up until they buckle up. A message from
(26:26):
the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the ad Council.
For more information, visit safercar dot gov slash kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 17 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 12 (27:04):
It's slipping, confit, CHECKI cop to doctor, knowledge share.
Speaker 7 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I get it.
Speaker 7 (27:16):
Flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure. That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
with a monitor.
Speaker 9 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 5 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 15 (27:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
It's slipping, coffit check, cop to doctor, knowlne share.
Speaker 7 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure. Self monitoring
is power. Learn more at manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at livingfullout
dot com. Now here's Nancy, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
For joining us. I'm Nancy Silary. This the Living Full
Out Show. Today we're talking about still standing and having
that grit, that tone, that demand for your life to
get it back on track. And we're continuing our interview
with Brian Tellers. I'd like to welcome Brian.
Speaker 17 (28:38):
Back to the show.
Speaker 6 (28:40):
Thank you so, Brian.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
In our last segment you mentioned, you know, just the
dynamics of your marriage and you know, just that you
were working a lot, a lot of pressure, but you
did start to dibble dabble, you know, in taking time
to meet women online. Again, we talked about how that
kind of gave you that boost of confidence and had
(29:03):
you feel good. And it is one thing to be online.
I think there are a lot of people who feel
safe behind the screen, right but you actually pressed forward
and did meet a couple of women in person. But
eventually you actually had an affair with a friend that
(29:24):
your wife knew, and that obviously got disclosed and everything
got revealed at that moment. How are you feeling Are
you feeling relieved because that had been brewing for so
long and living kind of that lie, or do you
feel like regretful? What is that moment?
Speaker 12 (29:47):
Like?
Speaker 3 (29:50):
I think for me, there was definitely some relief in
it finally becoming known and not having to worry about
the lies and deception to keep it a secret. At
the same time that relief comes in, there's also now
the unknown what's going to happen next. You've created this
(30:14):
relationship and you've invested time and energy into it, and
now it's it's now known that you know this relationship
exists and it shouldn't and your world kind of starts
to crumble again and you go through this grieving process
(30:35):
because you know you're losing something that you've spent so
much time and energy.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Building, and honestly, that makes makes sense. And know there's
a lot of people listening who may have been in
your situation that can identify with that. And you know,
you and your wife you tried to make it work
and then it fell apart again and ultimately you did
(31:01):
and all of this truly truly, Brian, when we think
about your childhood and your stepfather and missing your own
true dad and just everything in between that led you
to having many dark thoughts in your mid forties, so
much so that there was an epic time where you
(31:24):
wanted to end it. What were you doing that day?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Well, the day that I had decided that I had
had enough, Like I said, that all started to accumulate
my forties, and I had an appointment in another town
that was about a forty five minute drive away, and
(31:52):
on that day, driving home from the employment, I was
having a breakdown behind the wheel and I just decided that,
you know, that was going to be enough, and it
would be very easy for me just to you know,
(32:12):
unbuckle my seat belt and drive headfirst into a concrete
barrier or anything like that. And so I wasn't in
a good place mentally. The suicidal ideations were running rampant,
and I found myself unbuckling my seat belt and getting
(32:32):
ready to act on that. But then my kids come
to my mind and that kind of talks me down,
and it's like, Okay, wait a minute, I've got there's
more to this story. It's not time. It's not time yet,
so buckle back up. Continue to have the breakdown, but
(32:55):
actually took myself to a hospital and checked in they wanted.
It was kind of funny because they weren't quite it
set up situationally for and it is not like that.
So it was kind of a unique experience getting checked
into the hospital for the depression and the suicidal ideations.
(33:17):
But I did get checked in and started my healing
process that day.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Well, and again I value so much how honest you
are with everything that you're saying. What was it for
our audience listening who are having their own dark thoughts
or know somebody who is What was it that flipped
the script? What was it that gave you the tools
(33:46):
to get out of that cycle?
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Well, I think the first the first part of it
for me was when I checked into the hospital. Ultimately
that ended up until a week long stay at a
mental health facility. And while I was there, I got
to experience for the first time this feeling of not
(34:10):
being alone. And because that's something you know that I
that I'd really dealt with, especially with the depression, is
just feeling alone like no one understood me, no one
was going to understand and you know, there was nothing
that I could do about this. And what once I
was in the facility and I started to hear in
(34:30):
other people's stories and seeing other people and they're they're
they're the anxiety that they were facing me day in
and day out. It really, for me just created this
sense overwhelming sense of a need to get out there
and help. And and I knew now that I wasn't alone,
(34:55):
And if I wasn't alone, then then it's my responsibility
to make sure somebody else doesn't feel alone. And so
that that was the turning point for me, that that
week long stay in that mental health facility. But once
I got out of that, I continued to grow and
(35:15):
help out at soup kitchens, at churches and do different
things that that I could get out there and you know,
make an impact somehow, some way, even as small as
that it may be, makes some sort of impact in
somebody else's life to help them understand that the days
are going to get better.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
What's safeguards do you need to have in place to
prevent triggers?
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Well, for me, what triggers, what triggers me may not
it's going to be different for everyone, but I don't
I don't necessarily guard against them. I just I'm very
careful of my situation and who i'm around and what
(36:06):
I'm around as far as you know, big crowds kind
of excited, you know, they it triggers me. So I
have a hard time being in large, large crowds. I
just kind of know my limits and I try to
avoid situations that are gonna retrigger any any any trauma.
(36:32):
Of course, when I do have that trauma, I work
through it.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Have you been able to create a new relationship with women.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Yeah, I've definitely changed a lot and my my lots
and ideas of relationships. I don't have the need to,
you know, fill my life with multiple relationships. You know,
I'm not I'm not looking for that validation anymore. I've
(37:06):
kind of validated with myself that, you know, I know
the guy, the man that I want to be, and
I'm working to be that man at each and every day.
And I know that's good enough. And I did find
my faith and you know, he found my faith in
a room in that way as well. But as far
(37:28):
as relationships now, I mean, I'm a one woman guy
and I don't have any plans or change that.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Have you how do you approach forgiveness, you know along
the path, I don't know if you had to somehow forgive.
Your dad left early, the stepfather, your mother, the women
who knew you were married and were with you anyway,
you know yourself.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Yeah, myself is a big one. Learning to forgive myself.
Oddly enough, I don't think I ever really carried a
grudge against anyone else, you know, my stepfather for the
for the way that he treated me growing up. I've
never really carried that with me to a point where
(38:16):
I felt like I needed to forgive him, but I did.
I ultimately did forgive him for what he had done,
but I didn't feel like it was necessary. Kind of
the same with the relationships. I felt like, you know,
I instigated, I started a lot of those relationships. I
(38:37):
knew what I was getting myself into. I didn't feel
that I needed to forgive others as much as I
needed to forgive myself. But that said is, you know,
I think it is important to forgive others, even even
if you don't feel like they're to blame. There's everybody's
(38:58):
got to take some little bit of a kind of
ability into situations. So but ultimately, forgiven myself was the
biggest thing for me.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
And so when we talk about still standing just you know,
thirty seconds left here, But what does that mean to you?
Speaker 3 (39:17):
Still standing? Just you know, I've been through a lot
and I've been knocked down a lot, but I continue
to get up and I'm still standing. And as long
as you're still standing, you're still in the fight. You
still have a chance. You know, an old boxer's cliche
is it doesn't matter how many times you get knocked down,
(39:40):
it's how many times you get back up. And that's
that's still very true. You can't you can't fight the
fight and win the battle if you're not on your feet.
So you got to stand back up and face those
challenges head on well.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
And you are doing it. Brian, again, thank you so
much for your the honesty and courageousnes us in today's interview.
Appreciate that really helps a lot of people and for
everyone listening, just like Brian, if you have something you've
gone through and you'd like to be a guest on
the show and pay it forward, we'd love to hear
from you. Reach out to us at connect at livingfollout
(40:16):
dot com. Let us know what you went through, how
you got through it, and make sure it give us
your contact info and Brian, thank you so much again,
and for everybody today we are striving to live full out.
We'll be right back.
Speaker 18 (41:06):
To some people, the sound of a baby babbling doesn't
mean much, but that's not necessarily true. By six months
they're combining vowels and consonants two, by nine months they're
trying out different kinds of sounds, and by twelve months
(41:28):
they're babbling. Is beginning to take on some meaning, especially
if there's no babbling at all. Little to no babbling
by twelve months or later is just one of the
possible signs of autism and children. Early screening and intervention
can make a lifetime of difference and unlock a world
(41:50):
of possibilities. Take the first step at autism speaks dot org,
a public service announcement brought to you by Autism Speaks
and the Aduncil.
Speaker 19 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun protection factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum.
Speaker 5 (42:17):
On the label.
Speaker 19 (42:18):
That means both harmful ultraviolet A and B rays are block.
UVA rays age the skin.
Speaker 5 (42:24):
UBB rays burn and.
Speaker 19 (42:26):
Both cause cancer. But the perfect sunscreen doesn't count if
you use it wrong. Don't need sunscreen on a cloudy day. Wrong.
Eighty percent of UV rays still get through the haze.
Only use sunscreen at the beach, Nope, anytime you're outside,
UB rays attack the skin, so you need protection and
you have to reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember SPF
(42:49):
plus broad spectrum he for healthy fun in the sun.
Visit www dot FDA, dot v slash sunscreen for more information.
A message from the US Food and Drug admans.
Speaker 11 (43:01):
Right now, our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.
Speaker 12 (43:06):
I gotta tell you, I was nervous to talk to
someone so different than me.
Speaker 6 (43:10):
Me too, But I'm glad you are.
Speaker 11 (43:12):
Love has No Labels and One Small Step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation and it feels good.
Speaker 15 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.
Speaker 14 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 11 (43:26):
When people actually sit down, talk and listen to one another,
they can break down boundaries and connect as human beings.
At Love Hasno Labels, dot com slash one Small Step,
you can listen to amazing, life changing conversations and find
simple tools to start a conversation.
Speaker 5 (43:41):
Of your own.
Speaker 12 (43:42):
I know one thing this conversation gives me hope.
Speaker 11 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together by
having the courage to start a conversation at Love has
No Labels, dot com slash one small step, a message
from story Core, Love has No Labels, and the ad Council.
Speaker 5 (44:02):
All right, grew, let's get her dug.
Speaker 6 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand, I'm planning
that tree you Remember.
Speaker 15 (44:10):
No matter how large or small your digging project may be,
no matter how urban or rural, you must always call
eight one one before any digging project. Eight one to
one is our national one call number, alerting your local
utility companies to come out and mark any lines they
have near your dig site. You must call eight one
(44:32):
to one at least two to three business days before
any digging project so you can avoid hitting our essential
buried utilities. This includes natural gas and petroleum pipelines, electra
communication cables, and water and sewer lines. So before you
do this or this, make sure you do this For
(44:54):
digging projects big or small. Make the call to eight
one to one brought to you by Common Ground the Alliance.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
When it comes to still standing, you want to say
those words with conviction because truly you want to get
those thoughts out of your mind and you want to
get them out of rumbling around in your body and
actually own them, say them out loud, share them with others.
The thing is, take pride in the fact that you've
been through many different storms and you got through it,
(45:23):
but also be honest with yourself that more may come,
but you've learned how to survive, and you will. That's
what it means to live full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. As
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfoullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy.
This the Living Full Out Show, and today we've been
talking about still standing and really every one of us
are heroes in our life. We've gotten through it. Right,
You can't escape life without something, even those who for
all it may be is a broken nail, it still
was a travesty. But for the rest of us, you know,
(46:20):
be proud of what you've gone through. And I know
sometimes it's hard to say the words out loud. Sometimes
you don't want to share them with other people because
you feel that you might be judged or it may
sound like you're a victim. But I want you to
switch that narrative, because you're not a victim. In fact,
you're a survivor. You're a warrior, pick your word right,
(46:43):
You're a hero, and I want you to trust in that.
And a lot of times, you know, when I talk
to different folks that reach out to us and they feel,
you know, empowered to reach out to me and share
with me what they're going through, and I write them back,
it's a lot of time because they're just nervous to
tell other people. And I get that. I'm not saying
(47:05):
that everyone has to be out there in public with
what they've gone through, but I do want you to
find some way to document it, some way to allow
it not to be heard, because when we go through
something that's painful, if you just shove it inside your
body and you try to pretend it never existed. It's
(47:27):
still just kind of looming there. You haven't learned anything,
you haven't grown from it. It hasn't had its moment
in the spotlight to show the hero that you are right.
You don't want to stuff it down. You want to
bring it up, bring it up, bring it out now.
That might be just in a very intimate way journaling.
Maybe no one ever sees your diary but you, but
(47:48):
it's a way to acknowledge. Cry through it if you
have to be angry, if you have to write it out,
but then take some time after to do the switch.
What did you learn from it? How did you grow?
If you're so bold and you want to slightly dip
your toe and sharing with others and paying it forward,
you can start a blog, you can start your own podcast.
(48:10):
There's a lot of things you could do to allow
others to be a part of your journey and learn
from you. You know, I think the sad part about
life is those who learn things and don't share it.
If you've cracked the code on how to look fabulous
before a wedding, because we all try to lose weight
before we do, share it. If you have some knowledge
(48:33):
about you know how to do something and the rest
of us are just suffering and we don't know how
to crack that code. Share it. That's what this whole
world and life is about. Now, if you are bold,
I invite you to volunteer. I invite you to help others,
maybe even speak, maybe write a book and publish it
(48:54):
or self publish it. Because again, this journey it's special,
it should be documented, it should be shared. And I
don't want your life to come and go and the
rest of us didn't get to share in your journey.
The rest of us didn't get to learn what you
went through. And I know I don't know all of
you yet, but I'd love to know you. I'd love
(49:17):
to help you birth whatever that is in whatever way
feels comfortable for you. Now, you can reach out to
us at connect atlivingfullout dot com. We're super happy to
help you and navigate what that best method is. I
also welcome you to go to livingfullout dot com and
go to the Personal Development boot Camp. And why I
(49:38):
want you to go there is because there's ten modules
that really help you to discover within your life. You know,
what have you gone through? What have you learned. Where
Are You still a work in progress, and honestly, it
covers everything from relationships to financial to short term, long
(49:59):
term goals to self talk, inner piece, you name it.
And I think sometimes in order for us to have
what we want, we have to do the work. When
I think about relationships, right, like, if I'm going to
go out there and go dating, right, I want to
make sure that my ship is in order, that I'm
feeling good, that I'm organized, that I have that time
(50:22):
to meet somebody, Because what's the point of meeting somebody
if you're so busy don't have time for them or
think about you know, when I go on vacation, because
I do own my own business, I want to make
sure that I'm really present with my family or whoever
I'm i with, And to do that, I've got to
do a lot of pre planning and get things done
in advance. But that way, when I put on that
(50:44):
seat belt and I'm on the plane, I'm literally on vacation.
It's not like the work is haunting me or I'm
worried about does someone not know something or have what
they need. I've cracked that code in advance. But when
we talk today, about still standing. It's because all of
these twists and turns of life, they did not gobble
you up. They did not make you smaller, they did
(51:07):
not take away your power. They've allowed you to stand tall.
They've allowed you to have a life of purpose. Purpose
comes from having a reason to leap out of bed
in the morning. My reason, well, number one and number
two are my dogs, Charlie and Frost. Those two, I mean,
I feel like I'm a celebrity in their world, and
they are the first place I start in my day.
(51:29):
Then of course it's my team, it's my family. And
so when I leap out of bed, I've got my why,
I've got my purpose. I'm still standing. So I want
you to figure out your why. And when you do,
you are just going to find that things are going
to be smoother. You're going to see things more clearly,
and things are going to start happening, and you're gonna
(51:49):
have a lot of joy in your life, I promise. Now,
thank you so much for listening to today's topic. And
I know it was heavy, but we got through it,
and honestly, I'm stand beside you every step of the
way in your quest to live full out.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to the Living Full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfollout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out.
You're listening The Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy, Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
And thank you for joining us today. I'm Nancy Solari,
and this the Living Full Out Show, and today we're
talking about still standing. That is right, you are going
nowhere right, whatever's happening in your life. This is just
a season. This is like a storm, and we're going
to get you through it. And you're gonna get through it.
Believe that.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Now.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
I want to make sure that you also stay with
us because at our next segment, we're going to be
joined by Brian Teller, who's gonna really share a lot
of really hard to talk about moments in his life,
Moments of infidelity, moments where he's felt suicidal, but you
know what did he need to do to get past
those bad thoughts to get to a place where he
(01:00):
was safe but also thriving. And I think that it's
important that we hear stories where people have had those
gritty moments and how did they get to a better place.
So he's really authentic. You're gonna love talking and learning
from Brian. So coming up, we want you to hear that.
But I also want to make sure that you know
that you're always supported beyond today's show. Make sure that
(01:22):
you go to the app store look for the Living
Full Out Show app. It's free. You can listen to
us on the go or at the gym. But I
know that when we hit pockets of time where we're
just not feeling ourselves, we're feeling let down. You know,
I want you to know that you can pull out
the phone, you can go to the app, you can
listen to show after show, and I promise you there's
(01:43):
going to be a guest who has a circumstance that
isn't exactly a fit to what you're going through, but
it will give you some hope, it'll give you some guidance. Now,
we get a lot of people that write into us
about various dilemmas, and what I'd like to do here
today is just give some feedback, some coaching to some
of those who have written in. And so the first
(02:05):
one I hear we have is Brian. So actually, ironically
the same name as our guest today, So Brian, thank
you for writing in. So the thing about Brian that
I think is really interesting is he is starting his
business and although it's going well, he's feeling a lot
of demands from his wife that he's not attentive enough,
he's not around enough. Ironically, she is a stay at
(02:28):
home mom, so what he is doing is the main
financial outlet for the whole family, and he feels like
he is not meeting her needs. He feels like he's
not there for his kids. But at the end of
the day, this was a decision together they made that
he would start this business. And I want you to know, Brian,
(02:48):
I am with you as a business owner myself. I
can appreciate how long the days can be. And it's
funny how just when you think you're going to have
a day off or go on vacation, that's when everything
hits right, That's when the unexpecteds come. And so the
thing is is you have to find a way to
(03:09):
plug into your family and still give to your business.
Always remember we've got seven days in the week, twenty
four hours, right, and we have to use that time wisely.
We have to schedule it out. And now some of
you are not schedule people. I am a planner. I'm
glad I am, but you have to find a way
to bring that balance. Because what if you build this
(03:33):
amazing business, it's thriving, it's everything that you and your
wife hoped it would be, but your marriage falls apart, well,
then it's all for nothing. Right, And the thing is,
those kiddos, they are going to grow fast and then
you're going to turn around and you're going to have
missed major moments. So it is important to find that
(03:53):
balance and let that be part of your story.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
You know.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
One of the things that I find so compelling about
business owners, and I interview a lot of them, is
the story the long days, right, the times they had
a campaign go and it was too expensive or it
didn't work out or whatever. That looks like that story
is compelling. That's actually what makes customers want to support you.
(04:18):
That is what down the line when you get to
moments where you've hit a financial milestone or you're given
an award, that you can tell those stories. So you
kind of have to find a way to balance your schedule.
But again, I know you will, It's just finding those
pockets of time for your family when you know that
(04:38):
you don't really need to be work in the business.
You'd like to, but you don't really need to be.
I'd also like to reach out here to Abby. We've
got a note from her here, and actually I can
appreciate what she's going through. Her labidor of fourteen years
just passed away. And I have a guide dog named
Frost and he's a lab A yellow, So my heart
(05:02):
goes out to Abby. You know, the thing about losing
anyone that we love, but even a pet, is it's
hard because we know they don't live forever, not that
any of us do. But you know, I'm always impressed
when I hear about like a twenty year old cat
or something like that. But most pets, you know, there
is so much time, and it is a risk that
(05:24):
we run right to put our heart on the line
in any way when we love someone, or especially loving
a pet. But you're better for that time that you
had with your little loved one name Bob. Love that
love the name Bob. So the thing is what you
want to do is think of ways in which you can,
(05:45):
you know, keep bob spirit alive, right, And I don't
know if you've kept these things or not. But like
I had a dog named Lionel Richie. He was with
me in the early years of growing our company, living
full out, and he passed away you're thirteen years due
to a heart condition. And when he passed, I actually
kept his collar, And I kid you not, if I
(06:07):
were to take his collar, which I've put in a
special place, it would still smell like him. So hopefully
you've kept that if you wanted to have that little memento.
You know, there's also ways in which we can just
have pictures of them. I actually have like a little
wall in my office area dedicated to Lionel because he
was named after Lionel Richie the Singer. So I have
a little picture of Lionel Richie the Singer, and I
(06:30):
have a picture of my dog Lionel and myself. And
then I also have this poem and it's about the
Rainbow Bridge, and the Rainbow Bridge is a great poem.
I don't know who wrote it, but if you google it,
you'll find it. And it just gives a lot of
peace to knowing that you know your bob, your beautiful Bob,
went to you know, Rainbow heaven, and so I would
(06:53):
definitely check that out and know that our heart is
with you, okay, and reach out to us if you
need more support. I also want to acknowledge that an
email here from Sammy, now this one I totally get
as well. So Sammy is highly frustrated the dating apps
are going nowhere, and I understand that. And she goes
(07:15):
on to talk about how she feels like everybody is
a catfish and she'll message people and nobody gets back
to her, and you know, it's just leading to nothingness.
And she's tried other online sites as well and still
not finding, you know, her partner in crime. So to
be honest, I struggle to find many success stories on apps.
(07:38):
I think sometimes we have to put ourselves out there
in every way we can. And so I would not
give up on the app, because what if you're you know,
your soulmate if you want to call it, that is
on the app, but the timing just wasn't right. I
would also engage in multiple avenues. Maybe it's the app,
maybe it's a freeze subscription on a website as well,
(08:02):
work both. I think there's nothing like in person, right,
and there's many ways in which you can meet people,
you know, events in the area, concerts, you know, even
volunteering meeting people that way. But the biggest thing is
is to not lose hope.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
You know.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
The thing is, if love was easy, we'd all have it, right,
it would be on every corner. Everybody would just be
you know, live in a Hallmark movie, right. But the
truth is it is not easy to find. And it's
a little bit of timing because where what you want
to do is think about two things. Number one, we
know that you're looking for that love, right, and that's great,
(08:42):
and hopefully you have some vision of what that person
might look like, not restricting yourself too much, but maybe
the heart of the person, the character of the person,
so that you're intentional with when you're swiping or clicking
or messaging that you're you know, putting out there who
you were looking for. At the same time, this time
to work on yourself. You know, when you meet that person,
(09:04):
are you are you klind of clearing the clutter of
responsibilities or errands or you know, maybe household things that
you could be doing, like take advantage of this time.
So when you meet that person and you want to
be busy and soaking up your night, spending time together,
or the weekends doing little staycations that it isn't in
the back of your mind like Oh, I wish I
(09:25):
had cleaned the garage, I wish I had cleaned my room.
I wish I had, you know, prepared my taxes right
before I met this person. So take this time to
do those things. Also, single time is actually great time.
I got to tell you what I am single. It
is a I feel like I'm a party in box.
I every date is the perfect date, right, It's everything
(09:47):
I want, although I'm always into love as well. But
you know, I think you have to celebrate being alone
and finding what makes you happy and do things that
you enjoy. And when you can be alone and happy
and satisfied in your own half, well when two halves
come together, they make a really dynamic hole. So that
(10:09):
is what you're striving for. But please do keep all
of your messages coming. In fact, we are going to
start releasing these to our website called Ask Nancy at
the livingfullout dot com website, so if you want to
tune in there, you'll be able to write in at
connect atlivingfullout dot com and through ask Nancy that portal.
(10:30):
We will be writing you back with all this coaching
and feedback. Know that we believe in you very much.
Make sure that you stay with us. Brian Tyler is
coming up truly an inspirational story you don't want to miss.
We are all standing tall today, right, we're living full out.
We'll be back.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts. See,
that's why it's important to be at our strongest. Every year,
(11:46):
millions of people in the US get the flu, especially now.
No one has time to miss out on moments that matter.
So get your flu shot. Find out more and get
my flu shot dot org. Brought to you by the
AMA CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app.
Speaker 6 (12:03):
Stop That dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 7 (12:13):
Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
No, so you can have more control.
Speaker 6 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistakes.
Speaker 8 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking, and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 8 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have
prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Warning the cap is loose on that cat yeng.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
Oh don't wait. You have the power to change the outcome.
Visit do I have prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Today?
Speaker 5 (12:53):
That's do I have Prediabetes dot Org?
Speaker 8 (12:55):
Brought to you by the AD Council and its pre
diabetes Awareness partners.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Heh oh brah, that's buzzed. Oh yeah, yeah, he's starting
with the woots and now a speech.
Speaker 9 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 7 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 8 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying when it's time to go home.
Speaker 10 (13:18):
Somebody call me a ride.
Speaker 11 (13:20):
Love that guy, me too.
Speaker 8 (13:21):
Know your buzzed warning signs, call for a ride when
it's time to go home.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message FROMNITZA and the
AD Council. True, You're out.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
You got me Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 12 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's nfamilyfire dot Org. Brought to you by n Familyfire,
Brady and the AD Council.
Speaker 13 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the lingo.
Speaker 9 (14:06):
Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally. Just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I Am like so jelly of your
Unicorn phone case.
Speaker 13 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the ad Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Silary. As
a life coach, Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You could ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Welcome back. I'm Nancy Silary in this The Living Full
Out Show, and today we're talking about still standing. You
are going nowhere, and in fact, our inspirational guest today,
Brian Teller had had that same motto in his mind
through going through moments where he had infidelity, where he
had to figure out as a man who he wanted
(15:53):
to be, to to claw his way through times of
dark thoughts, and today being able to stand and be
proud of who he is. So i'd like to welcome
Brian to the show.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Thank you, glad to Brian.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I am glad to have you here, and I want
to thank you in advance for being as honest as
you are with your story, because I know these are
hard to talk about. It's easy to look good right,
but to me it's more courageous and inspiring to have
someone like you just really pull back the curtain and
such honesty. So thank you for that. One of the
(16:28):
things I want to really acknowledge early on is you
know how you grew up? Because I know your dad
left your life at an early age and you had
a stepdad. Your mom was in a new relationship, but
she was gone a lot from the home and most
of the time it was with the stepdad. What was
(16:49):
that growing up like? What was the intensity like in
the home?
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Well, it was pretty quiet for the most part, because
we kept our own spaces. You know, I spent a
lot of time in my room, He spent a lot
of time downstairs, and so but when we did come together,
it was pretty explosive, usually over little things in the house, like,
(17:17):
you know, something got eaten out of the refrigerator that
he wanted then that would be an excuse to come
to me for it, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
And what got so epically bad that literally had you,
at sixteen, leave the home and never come back.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Well, as I got older, the abuse got greater. It
was psychological for the most part, an emotional abuse in
the house, name calling, putting me down, things like that.
But as I got older, it started to become a
little more physical to where it would give to the
point that we'd be out in the front yard and
(18:00):
wanting to fight. And as a sixteen year old, I
just you know, I couldn't. I couldn't deal with that
much longer. And once I got my own car and job,
I was able to get out of the house and
make some space.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
When you left the house, and you were kind of
in this limbo stage really from sixteen to eighteen and
so forth, did you just sleep in your car or
did you stay at friends?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I did spend some time in my car, but I
did have friends as well. That when I first moved
out of the house, I stayed with a friend and
his father, and that their situation wasn't much better than
my situation. So I was kind of moving from, you know,
one abusive household to another one of negligence. But I
(18:54):
did spend some time in my car, and that was
when I got a little bit older, and I was
about eighteen years old, and all.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Of that toxic environment and people and behaviors, and especially
even at your friend's house. I can only imagine how
stressful that was and how you probably just wanted to
feel happy, normal, whatever normal would possibly look like. And
(19:24):
for you, you found your joy in women. You kind
of they were what validated you. And why was that
such an important factor rather than a job. What was
it about women that gave you that super power feeling.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
That's a great question. I think it was just really
looking for someone to bring me up. I never really
had the mother's figure. My mom worked a lot and
had to be a provider in the fam family, so
I didn't really have a relationship with her at least
(20:04):
not a good close mother son relationship with her as
I was growing up, and.
Speaker 6 (20:09):
I think I was.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Looking for that in other women, that motherly, that motherly
instinct that taken care of the nurturing, the things that
I didn't have. And it also I think it boosted
me up as far as my self esteem issues. If
I could have girlfriends, if I could, you know, have
(20:36):
the attention of multiple women, then it made me feel
validated as a man.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah, and I do understand that. I mean, I remember
one time I was dating this guy and actually he
wanted to marry me, but I just I couldn't. It
was just he was really, really a heavy drinker and
it was just not the right fit. And then I
met somebody who was a bright light, and my friend said, Wow,
that person is like water in your desert. So I
(21:06):
understand that sometimes that new person can just be like
finally exhale or a gasp of air. And you did
finally meet who would become your wife. What was it
about her that made you ask her to marry you
and want to have a future.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Within stability. I saw that she had a family that
came from stability, that the mother and father were still together.
They had the white picket fence lifestyle of the American dream,
as you would say, and I thought with her that
I found somebody that could really change who I was
(21:49):
and helped me settle down and find some structure in
my life. Unfortunately, some times that, you know, the hope
of that doesn't play out into the future. And you know,
we definitely had our share of problems in our relationship
(22:11):
and our marriage, but ultimately, to begin with, it was
the stability that I was looking for that I needed
in my life.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Is that almost pressure trying to be somebody that you
want to be but that you weren't, Because that sounds
like a lot of pressure.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Oh yeah, definitely is. I spent a lot of time
working and just to kind of give myself an excuse
as to why I couldn't be the man that I
that I was inside, you know it. You know, I
worked three jobs at one point in early in our marriage,
(22:49):
and I think that was really a distraction more than
anything for me, because I didn't want to deal with
the problems that were servicing or bubbling up. I didn't
want to deal with the fact that I wasn't the
person that I that I It meant to be. You know,
in dec inside, I was putting out a mask to
(23:11):
facade and to make this relationship work.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
You know, I give you credit though, for trying, because
it would have been so easy, I mean, asking someone
to marry them, actually fulfilling and saying I do and
doing all that, doing those actions. You know, at least
you tried. It actually would have been almost safer to not,
you know, and so I give you credit for that.
I want you to stay with us, Brian. There's so
(23:38):
much more to your story, obviously, and for everybody today,
it is about saying to yourself, I am still standing.
I have been through it, but I'm not going anywhere.
You have to fight for your life. You have to
fight for your cause, your purpose and everything that you
can be. That is what it means to live full out.
We'll be back.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Today.
Speaker 14 (24:04):
In school, I learned a lot. In chemistry, I learned
that no one likes me. In English, I learned that
I'm disgusting, and in Physics I learned that I'm a loser.
Speaker 10 (24:16):
Today in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
Speaker 11 (24:20):
In jim I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In history today, I learned that I'm trying.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Today.
Speaker 10 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick. And at lunch,
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 12 (24:38):
That no one In biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
And in math, I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 14 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today.
Speaker 5 (24:49):
The only thing I didn't learn is why no one
ever helps kids witness bullying every day.
Speaker 15 (24:56):
They want to help, but they don't know how teach
them how to stop bullying and be more than a
bystander at Stop Bullying dot Gov.
Speaker 16 (25:02):
A message from the AD Council.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com Forward Slash boot Camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
Com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 16 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
I know.
Speaker 16 (25:44):
They'll try to break your will. They'll push you to
the edge of your sanity because that's what kids do.
But this car is your territory, not theirs. Defend it.
Who makes the payment, who cleans it, who drives it?
(26:05):
You do, That's who. And in here your word is law.
So when you say you won't move until everyone's buckled up,
you won't budge an inch until you hear that clear
Never give up until they buckle up. A message from
(26:26):
the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the ad Council.
For more information, visit safercar dot gov slash kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 17 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 12 (27:04):
It's slipping, confit, CHECKI cop to doctor, knowledge share.
Speaker 7 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I get it.
Speaker 7 (27:16):
Flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure. That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
with a monitor.
Speaker 9 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 5 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 15 (27:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
It's slipping, coffit check, cop to doctor, knowlne share.
Speaker 7 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure. Self monitoring
is power. Learn more at manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at livingfullout
dot com. Now here's Nancy, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
For joining us. I'm Nancy Silary. This the Living Full
Out Show. Today we're talking about still standing and having
that grit, that tone, that demand for your life to
get it back on track. And we're continuing our interview
with Brian Tellers. I'd like to welcome Brian.
Speaker 17 (28:38):
Back to the show.
Speaker 6 (28:40):
Thank you so, Brian.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
In our last segment you mentioned, you know, just the
dynamics of your marriage and you know, just that you
were working a lot, a lot of pressure, but you
did start to dibble dabble, you know, in taking time
to meet women online. Again, we talked about how that
kind of gave you that boost of confidence and had
(29:03):
you feel good. And it is one thing to be online.
I think there are a lot of people who feel
safe behind the screen, right but you actually pressed forward
and did meet a couple of women in person. But
eventually you actually had an affair with a friend that
(29:24):
your wife knew, and that obviously got disclosed and everything
got revealed at that moment. How are you feeling Are
you feeling relieved because that had been brewing for so
long and living kind of that lie, or do you
feel like regretful? What is that moment?
Speaker 12 (29:47):
Like?
Speaker 3 (29:50):
I think for me, there was definitely some relief in
it finally becoming known and not having to worry about
the lies and deception to keep it a secret. At
the same time that relief comes in, there's also now
the unknown what's going to happen next. You've created this
(30:14):
relationship and you've invested time and energy into it, and
now it's it's now known that you know this relationship
exists and it shouldn't and your world kind of starts
to crumble again and you go through this grieving process
(30:35):
because you know you're losing something that you've spent so
much time and energy.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Building, and honestly, that makes makes sense. And know there's
a lot of people listening who may have been in
your situation that can identify with that. And you know,
you and your wife you tried to make it work
and then it fell apart again and ultimately you did
(31:01):
and all of this truly truly, Brian, when we think
about your childhood and your stepfather and missing your own
true dad and just everything in between that led you
to having many dark thoughts in your mid forties, so
much so that there was an epic time where you
(31:24):
wanted to end it. What were you doing that day?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Well, the day that I had decided that I had
had enough, Like I said, that all started to accumulate
my forties, and I had an appointment in another town
that was about a forty five minute drive away, and
(31:52):
on that day, driving home from the employment, I was
having a breakdown behind the wheel and I just decided that,
you know, that was going to be enough, and it
would be very easy for me just to you know,
(32:12):
unbuckle my seat belt and drive headfirst into a concrete
barrier or anything like that. And so I wasn't in
a good place mentally. The suicidal ideations were running rampant,
and I found myself unbuckling my seat belt and getting
(32:32):
ready to act on that. But then my kids come
to my mind and that kind of talks me down,
and it's like, Okay, wait a minute, I've got there's
more to this story. It's not time. It's not time yet,
so buckle back up. Continue to have the breakdown, but
(32:55):
actually took myself to a hospital and checked in they wanted.
It was kind of funny because they weren't quite it
set up situationally for and it is not like that.
So it was kind of a unique experience getting checked
into the hospital for the depression and the suicidal ideations.
(33:17):
But I did get checked in and started my healing
process that day.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Well, and again I value so much how honest you
are with everything that you're saying. What was it for
our audience listening who are having their own dark thoughts
or know somebody who is What was it that flipped
the script? What was it that gave you the tools
(33:46):
to get out of that cycle?
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Well, I think the first the first part of it
for me was when I checked into the hospital. Ultimately
that ended up until a week long stay at a
mental health facility. And while I was there, I got
to experience for the first time this feeling of not
(34:10):
being alone. And because that's something you know that I
that I'd really dealt with, especially with the depression, is
just feeling alone like no one understood me, no one
was going to understand and you know, there was nothing
that I could do about this. And what once I
was in the facility and I started to hear in
(34:30):
other people's stories and seeing other people and they're they're
they're the anxiety that they were facing me day in
and day out. It really, for me just created this
sense overwhelming sense of a need to get out there
and help. And and I knew now that I wasn't alone,
(34:55):
And if I wasn't alone, then then it's my responsibility
to make sure somebody else doesn't feel alone. And so
that that was the turning point for me, that that
week long stay in that mental health facility. But once
I got out of that, I continued to grow and
(35:15):
help out at soup kitchens, at churches and do different
things that that I could get out there and you know,
make an impact somehow, some way, even as small as
that it may be, makes some sort of impact in
somebody else's life to help them understand that the days
are going to get better.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
What's safeguards do you need to have in place to
prevent triggers?
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Well, for me, what triggers, what triggers me may not
it's going to be different for everyone, but I don't
I don't necessarily guard against them. I just I'm very
careful of my situation and who i'm around and what
(36:06):
I'm around as far as you know, big crowds kind
of excited, you know, they it triggers me. So I
have a hard time being in large, large crowds. I
just kind of know my limits and I try to
avoid situations that are gonna retrigger any any any trauma.
(36:32):
Of course, when I do have that trauma, I work
through it.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Have you been able to create a new relationship with women.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Yeah, I've definitely changed a lot and my my lots
and ideas of relationships. I don't have the need to,
you know, fill my life with multiple relationships. You know,
I'm not I'm not looking for that validation anymore. I've
(37:06):
kind of validated with myself that, you know, I know
the guy, the man that I want to be, and
I'm working to be that man at each and every day.
And I know that's good enough. And I did find
my faith and you know, he found my faith in
a room in that way as well. But as far
(37:28):
as relationships now, I mean, I'm a one woman guy
and I don't have any plans or change that.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Have you how do you approach forgiveness, you know along
the path, I don't know if you had to somehow forgive.
Your dad left early, the stepfather, your mother, the women
who knew you were married and were with you anyway,
you know yourself.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Yeah, myself is a big one. Learning to forgive myself.
Oddly enough, I don't think I ever really carried a
grudge against anyone else, you know, my stepfather for the
for the way that he treated me growing up. I've
never really carried that with me to a point where
(38:16):
I felt like I needed to forgive him, but I did.
I ultimately did forgive him for what he had done,
but I didn't feel like it was necessary. Kind of
the same with the relationships. I felt like, you know,
I instigated, I started a lot of those relationships. I
(38:37):
knew what I was getting myself into. I didn't feel
that I needed to forgive others as much as I
needed to forgive myself. But that said is, you know,
I think it is important to forgive others, even even
if you don't feel like they're to blame. There's everybody's
(38:58):
got to take some little bit of a kind of
ability into situations. So but ultimately, forgiven myself was the
biggest thing for me.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
And so when we talk about still standing just you know,
thirty seconds left here, But what does that mean to you?
Speaker 3 (39:17):
Still standing? Just you know, I've been through a lot
and I've been knocked down a lot, but I continue
to get up and I'm still standing. And as long
as you're still standing, you're still in the fight. You
still have a chance. You know, an old boxer's cliche
is it doesn't matter how many times you get knocked down,
(39:40):
it's how many times you get back up. And that's
that's still very true. You can't you can't fight the
fight and win the battle if you're not on your feet.
So you got to stand back up and face those
challenges head on well.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
And you are doing it. Brian, again, thank you so
much for your the honesty and courageousnes us in today's interview.
Appreciate that really helps a lot of people and for
everyone listening, just like Brian, if you have something you've
gone through and you'd like to be a guest on
the show and pay it forward, we'd love to hear
from you. Reach out to us at connect at livingfollout
(40:16):
dot com. Let us know what you went through, how
you got through it, and make sure it give us
your contact info and Brian, thank you so much again,
and for everybody today we are striving to live full out.
We'll be right back.
Speaker 18 (41:06):
To some people, the sound of a baby babbling doesn't
mean much, but that's not necessarily true. By six months
they're combining vowels and consonants two, by nine months they're
trying out different kinds of sounds, and by twelve months
(41:28):
they're babbling. Is beginning to take on some meaning, especially
if there's no babbling at all. Little to no babbling
by twelve months or later is just one of the
possible signs of autism and children. Early screening and intervention
can make a lifetime of difference and unlock a world
(41:50):
of possibilities. Take the first step at autism speaks dot org,
a public service announcement brought to you by Autism Speaks
and the Aduncil.
Speaker 19 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun protection factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum.
Speaker 5 (42:17):
On the label.
Speaker 19 (42:18):
That means both harmful ultraviolet A and B rays are block.
UVA rays age the skin.
Speaker 5 (42:24):
UBB rays burn and.
Speaker 19 (42:26):
Both cause cancer. But the perfect sunscreen doesn't count if
you use it wrong. Don't need sunscreen on a cloudy day. Wrong.
Eighty percent of UV rays still get through the haze.
Only use sunscreen at the beach, Nope, anytime you're outside,
UB rays attack the skin, so you need protection and
you have to reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember SPF
(42:49):
plus broad spectrum he for healthy fun in the sun.
Visit www dot FDA, dot v slash sunscreen for more information.
A message from the US Food and Drug admans.
Speaker 11 (43:01):
Right now, our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.
Speaker 12 (43:06):
I gotta tell you, I was nervous to talk to
someone so different than me.
Speaker 6 (43:10):
Me too, But I'm glad you are.
Speaker 11 (43:12):
Love has No Labels and One Small Step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation and it feels good.
Speaker 15 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.
Speaker 14 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 11 (43:26):
When people actually sit down, talk and listen to one another,
they can break down boundaries and connect as human beings.
At Love Hasno Labels, dot com slash one Small Step,
you can listen to amazing, life changing conversations and find
simple tools to start a conversation.
Speaker 5 (43:41):
Of your own.
Speaker 12 (43:42):
I know one thing this conversation gives me hope.
Speaker 11 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together by
having the courage to start a conversation at Love has
No Labels, dot com slash one small step, a message
from story Core, Love has No Labels, and the ad Council.
Speaker 5 (44:02):
All right, grew, let's get her dug.
Speaker 6 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand, I'm planning
that tree you Remember.
Speaker 15 (44:10):
No matter how large or small your digging project may be,
no matter how urban or rural, you must always call
eight one one before any digging project. Eight one to
one is our national one call number, alerting your local
utility companies to come out and mark any lines they
have near your dig site. You must call eight one
(44:32):
to one at least two to three business days before
any digging project so you can avoid hitting our essential
buried utilities. This includes natural gas and petroleum pipelines, electra
communication cables, and water and sewer lines. So before you
do this or this, make sure you do this For
(44:54):
digging projects big or small. Make the call to eight
one to one brought to you by Common Ground the Alliance.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
When it comes to still standing, you want to say
those words with conviction because truly you want to get
those thoughts out of your mind and you want to
get them out of rumbling around in your body and
actually own them, say them out loud, share them with others.
The thing is, take pride in the fact that you've
been through many different storms and you got through it,
(45:23):
but also be honest with yourself that more may come,
but you've learned how to survive, and you will. That's
what it means to live full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. As
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfoullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy.
This the Living Full Out Show, and today we've been
talking about still standing and really every one of us
are heroes in our life. We've gotten through it. Right,
You can't escape life without something, even those who for
all it may be is a broken nail, it still
was a travesty. But for the rest of us, you know,
(46:20):
be proud of what you've gone through. And I know
sometimes it's hard to say the words out loud. Sometimes
you don't want to share them with other people because
you feel that you might be judged or it may
sound like you're a victim. But I want you to
switch that narrative, because you're not a victim. In fact,
you're a survivor. You're a warrior, pick your word right,
(46:43):
You're a hero, and I want you to trust in that.
And a lot of times, you know, when I talk
to different folks that reach out to us and they feel,
you know, empowered to reach out to me and share
with me what they're going through, and I write them back,
it's a lot of time because they're just nervous to
tell other people. And I get that. I'm not saying
(47:05):
that everyone has to be out there in public with
what they've gone through, but I do want you to
find some way to document it, some way to allow
it not to be heard, because when we go through
something that's painful, if you just shove it inside your
body and you try to pretend it never existed. It's
(47:27):
still just kind of looming there. You haven't learned anything,
you haven't grown from it. It hasn't had its moment
in the spotlight to show the hero that you are right.
You don't want to stuff it down. You want to
bring it up, bring it up, bring it out now.
That might be just in a very intimate way journaling.
Maybe no one ever sees your diary but you, but
(47:48):
it's a way to acknowledge. Cry through it if you
have to be angry, if you have to write it out,
but then take some time after to do the switch.
What did you learn from it? How did you grow?
If you're so bold and you want to slightly dip
your toe and sharing with others and paying it forward,
you can start a blog, you can start your own podcast.
(48:10):
There's a lot of things you could do to allow
others to be a part of your journey and learn
from you. You know, I think the sad part about
life is those who learn things and don't share it.
If you've cracked the code on how to look fabulous
before a wedding, because we all try to lose weight
before we do, share it. If you have some knowledge
(48:33):
about you know how to do something and the rest
of us are just suffering and we don't know how
to crack that code. Share it. That's what this whole
world and life is about. Now, if you are bold,
I invite you to volunteer. I invite you to help others,
maybe even speak, maybe write a book and publish it
(48:54):
or self publish it. Because again, this journey it's special,
it should be documented, it should be shared. And I
don't want your life to come and go and the
rest of us didn't get to share in your journey.
The rest of us didn't get to learn what you
went through. And I know I don't know all of
you yet, but I'd love to know you. I'd love
(49:17):
to help you birth whatever that is in whatever way
feels comfortable for you. Now, you can reach out to
us at connect atlivingfullout dot com. We're super happy to
help you and navigate what that best method is. I
also welcome you to go to livingfullout dot com and
go to the Personal Development boot Camp. And why I
(49:38):
want you to go there is because there's ten modules
that really help you to discover within your life. You know,
what have you gone through? What have you learned. Where
Are You still a work in progress, and honestly, it
covers everything from relationships to financial to short term, long
(49:59):
term goals to self talk, inner piece, you name it.
And I think sometimes in order for us to have
what we want, we have to do the work. When
I think about relationships, right, like, if I'm going to
go out there and go dating, right, I want to
make sure that my ship is in order, that I'm
feeling good, that I'm organized, that I have that time
(50:22):
to meet somebody, Because what's the point of meeting somebody
if you're so busy don't have time for them or
think about you know, when I go on vacation, because
I do own my own business, I want to make
sure that I'm really present with my family or whoever
I'm i with, And to do that, I've got to
do a lot of pre planning and get things done
in advance. But that way, when I put on that
(50:44):
seat belt and I'm on the plane, I'm literally on vacation.
It's not like the work is haunting me or I'm
worried about does someone not know something or have what
they need. I've cracked that code in advance. But when
we talk today, about still standing. It's because all of
these twists and turns of life, they did not gobble
you up. They did not make you smaller, they did
(51:07):
not take away your power. They've allowed you to stand tall.
They've allowed you to have a life of purpose. Purpose
comes from having a reason to leap out of bed
in the morning. My reason, well, number one and number
two are my dogs, Charlie and Frost. Those two, I mean,
I feel like I'm a celebrity in their world, and
they are the first place I start in my day.
(51:29):
Then of course it's my team, it's my family. And
so when I leap out of bed, I've got my why,
I've got my purpose. I'm still standing. So I want
you to figure out your why. And when you do,
you are just going to find that things are going
to be smoother. You're going to see things more clearly,
and things are going to start happening, and you're gonna
(51:49):
have a lot of joy in your life, I promise. Now,
thank you so much for listening to today's topic. And
I know it was heavy, but we got through it,
and honestly, I'm stand beside you every step of the
way in your quest to live full out.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to the Living Full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfollout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out.
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