Royally Screwed

Royally Screwed

In which two Americans learn everything they can about British history in the most American way possible: by watching television. Grab the popcorn, renew your streaming services, and join Abby and Danny as we watch historical British TV and parse out what really happened, what didn't, and relive the greatest moments of British history, all without leaving the couch.

Episodes

January 25, 2022 71 mins
Look. Sometimes, doing things is hard. So many of the statements in this episode are no longer true (such as, but not limited to, “there was no royalty news this week” or “next week is Christmas). But much like the appearance of ghosts in this episode, better late than never! Abby and Danny are here to recap the final episode of the first season of The Spanish Princess. Will Catherine of Aragon embrace her destiny? Will Margaret Be...
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Oy! Abby and Danny’s ADoyHD is in full force this episode, as we contemplate whether Catherine of Aragon should STAY in England or GO home! All of her friends and enemies have an opinion to register, except for Edmund de la Pooooooooooool, who has come to Maggie Pole in her time of greatest need (aka moments before and/or after and/or during sending her kids away) and is ready to strike! The entire saga is told in the Tudors classi...
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Oy! This episode sees us branching out, to explore other corners of the British Royal History Cinematic Universe. Specifically, the rest of Ferdinand and Isabella’s children, as Joanna washes up on England’s shores and shakes things up for Catherine and company. Everyone sees an opportunity to use her to advance their agenda, but who will reign victorious? (Spoiler alert: not Maggie Pole.) In our history lesson, Abby introduces the...
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Guten tag! This week on Royally Screwed, everyone’s got BOY PROBLEMS! Whether an arranged marriage with a fool, an enemy that turns out to be a hottie, or being in a love triangle with your boyfriend and his dad…we’ve all been there. Meanwhile, in British history, Abby shares Margaret Beaufort’s five easy steps to girlboss your way to the top. All you need is to be born a Lancastrian heiress, make yourself a player in the Wars of t...
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‘uzzah! It’s time to address the aftermath of the death of a queen and King Henry has left a lot of questions unanswered. Are the Tudors cursed? Will Lina and Oviedo run away together? Why is Fake Thomas Boleyn everywhere? Just as chaos is about to descend, Henry bids his inexplicable lion companion farewell and tweets an update that will have the kingdom talking for days! But don’t worry! The Big Whammy is here to distract us from...
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Oy! Is Catherine of Aragon pregnant? Westminster Danny and Downton Abby are on the case, with a little help from sex-ed expert and conspiracy theorist extraordinaire, Margaret Beaufort. Meanwhile, Prince Harry enjoys some swordplay, Princess Meg drops some sick burns, and Queen Elizabeth gains the gift of foresight……RIP. In tribute, Abby offers a history lesson on the woman that was daughter, sister, niece, and wife of the king and...
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Oy! Abby and Danny are together for a Midwestern adventure and live podcasting as we dive into the second episode of The Spanish Princess. Join us as we meet Princess Meg and her maneuverings to avoid marrying James IV (aka “Jiv”), learn the secrets to Oviedo’s good looks, and bite our nails alongside the rest of the kingdom as we anxiously await updates on whether Catherine and Arthur have successfully sexed. Then, we learn the re...
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Oy! Abby and Danny are back for a new season of Royally Screwed! Join us as we watch The Spanish Princess and discover the story of Catherine of Aragon before her tragic appearance on The Tudors. In this episode, we muddle our way through a pile of Margarets, Henrys, and Edmunds, we take a definitive stance on Adam Driv…..uhh, Richard III, and we risk it all for Oviedo, who is beautiful in every way. Our journey to the new kingdom ...
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Oy! Abby and Danny got together one more time before summer vacation to relive the highs and lows of the first season of the Tudors. Oh, and they did so in the same place, how fun is that! We chatted about the royal family’s latest shenaningans, ranked all 37 of the major characters from season 1 of the Tudors, and then put our knowledge to the test with a final exam. But, like, a fun exam. This isn’t like school, it’s a fun podcas...
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‘ewwo! We’ve made it to the season finale of the first season of The Tudors! In this unsettling episode, we avert our gaze as Sir Thomas More’s extremism reaches a new….extreme, we laugh at the Scheming Schemers whose monkey’s have begun to curl their paws, and we end #TallisWatch, as we experience the bisexual icon in his glory one final time. Then, Abby gives a history lesson about the complexities and philosophies of the mind of...
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Fancy a cuppa? You might need it to keep you calm through the tumultuous waters of this week’s episode, in which Sam Neill officially, and gracelessly, falls from Henry VIII’s good graces. We also witness a dramatic death sequence, some gloating schemers, and a Catherine of Aragon monologue that deserves a standing ovation. Thomas Cromwell is also there. Then, Abby finally breaks her 8-episode streak of self control and gets giddy ...
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Hiya! This week on Royally Screwed, we watch Sam Neill fully break down, Cardinal Campeggio regret all of his life choices, Thomas Tallis forget what TV show he is in, and Catherine of Aragon say “yeet.” Then, Abby breaks out her Precious Moments TM Bible so that we can break down Catherine’s case against Henry VIII. All this plus: Thomas Tallis, x-wing pilot!

TV Episode: The Tudors, season 1, episode 8: Truth & Justice

History Lesso...
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Yo! Abby and Danny are back to discuss another episode of The Tudors! But first, we discuss the Queen on Zoom, Philip attending his own funeral, and the Queen’s blatant disrespect for our podcast. Then, the Tudors gets a little too real as it depicts an outbreak of Sweating Sickness. What will be the best coping strategy? Citrus? Aromatherapy? Late night workouts? Experimenting with bisexuality? We explore all of these trauma respo...
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April 20, 2021 83 mins
Alright there! The Royal Necromancer has…died? We aren’t positive, but it sure was inconvenient! After processing current events, Abby and Danny dive into episode 6 of the first season of the Tudors, in which schemes are schemed by the scheming schemers who scheme, we witness the pope’s grand escape (it involves sheep), and we are introduced, unironically, to DOCTOR KNIGHT! Then, Abby shares a history lesson all about CB aka Charle...
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Wotcha! This week on The Tudors, Abby and Danny follow newly married Margaret and CB back to England to see if Henry will receive the news maturely or not (lol), try to keep up with the rapidly evolving love triangle between Henry, Francis, and CV, and cringe at the hypocrisy of everyone involved with obtaining Henry his greatly desired annulment. Also, #TallisWatch becomes even more riveting as Thomas Tallis achieves new heights a...
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Catch ya later! Abby and Danny voyage to fictional country Portugal in this episode of The Tudors, to witness the marriage of fictional Margaret to a fictional King. Back in England, the feud between Henry and Luther is heating up, Thomas Tallis is in desperate need of a haircut, and Henry falls in a ditch. Then, Abby offers a history lesson titled “Why Is Henry Like This.” Plus: cheese curd hot takes!

TV Episode: The Tudors, season...
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Oy! Abby and Danny are back for another thrilling visit to Tudor England. In this episode, we try to keep up with Sam Neill’s shifting allegiances, meet the Holy Roman Emperor and latest heart-throb Charles V of Spain, and are thoroughly discomfited by Henry’s….uh, dream, about Anne Boleyn. Then, we learn more about Cardinal Wolsey (Sam Neill’s alter-ego) and his unprecedented rise to power. All this plus Royally Screwed’s Official...
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March 23, 2021 85 mins
Oy! We are back to continue our exploration of British history via television masterpiece The Tudors. In this episode, we react to the Oprah interview with Meghan and Harry (plus, has the Royal Family discovered the secret to immortality? Spoiler alert: yes), discuss the second episode of The Tudors and Henry’s latest romantic entanglements with the King of France (plus, has Thomas Tallis become relevant yet? Spoiler alert: no), an...
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March 16, 2021 63 mins
Oy! It’s the first official episode of Royally Screwed! This week, we began our exploration of the Tudors tv series and learned about Henry VIII’s first wife (and total badass) Catherine of Aragon.

TV Episode: The Tudors, season 1, episode 1: In Cold Blood

History Lesson: Catherine of Aragon (1485-1536), queen of England (1509-1533)

Royally Screwed is hosted by Abby Gleason and Danny Pirtle.

Royally Screwed is a part of the Encyclopodi...
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March 9, 2021 7 mins
Oy! This is the preview episode for Royally Screwed, a podcast where hosts Abby and Danny will learn everything they can about British history in the most American way possible: watching television.

In this episode: meet the hosts, outline of the format of the podcast, and preview the first show we will be watching and discussing.

Royally Screwed is hosted by Abby Gleason and Danny Pirtle.

Royally Screwed is a part of the Encyclopodia...
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