Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups
A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 34 years experience working with those surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner Child Healing, Family of Origin and Self Differentiation, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and much more.
Episodes
June 3, 2024 • 71 mins
Empower Someone With BPD To End Unhealthy Life Choices Claims An Inauthentic Youtuber
I keep it real to help you heal!
An inauthentic subscriber purchasing Youtuber misinforms in the worst way possible by blaming
people with Codependency as if you need to be "perfect" before you try to have all those
"conversations" with someone in your life with BPD or else the borderline will just blame you.
People with BPD don't take personal respon...
I keep it real to help you heal!
An inauthentic subscriber purchasing Youtuber misinforms in the worst way possible by blaming
people with Codependency as if you need to be "perfect" before you try to have all those
"conversations" with someone in your life with BPD or else the borderline will just blame you.
People with BPD don't take personal respon...
Mark as Played
May 25, 2024 • 39 mins
Break The Betrayal Bond BPD or NPD Ex or Adult Child & Codependency
People who have been in a relationship with a person with Borderline Personality or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and those who may also have a BPD or NPD parent need to recognize their woundedness from childhood to be able to heal Codependency. You cannot break a betrayal or fantasy bond with a BPD Ex, NPD Ex and/or BPD or NPD parent until and unless you w...
People who have been in a relationship with a person with Borderline Personality or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and those who may also have a BPD or NPD parent need to recognize their woundedness from childhood to be able to heal Codependency. You cannot break a betrayal or fantasy bond with a BPD Ex, NPD Ex and/or BPD or NPD parent until and unless you w...
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May 18, 2024 • 17 mins
Stop The Cycle of Bpd's Using You As An Atm and a Vending Machine In Relationship Recycling
Are you someone still in a relationship or in the on/off BPD Breakup relationship recycling with a person with (especially untreated) BPD? You are likely someone with Codependency. Codependents - BPD Ex's or partners and Ex-on/off partners of Borderlines are BPD ATM & vending machines on empty as each cycle rollercoaster ride takes more a...
Are you someone still in a relationship or in the on/off BPD Breakup relationship recycling with a person with (especially untreated) BPD? You are likely someone with Codependency. Codependents - BPD Ex's or partners and Ex-on/off partners of Borderlines are BPD ATM & vending machines on empty as each cycle rollercoaster ride takes more a...
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May 6, 2024 • 33 mins
Losing Yourself Trying to Nurture and Aid a Borderline?
In a response to a Codependent commenter on a video I did about Borderlines Lying and
manipulation whether it is on purpose, calcuulated or not - it is what it is, this
person who left a semi=hostile but Codependent denying comment thought that it should
be possible for partners, Ex's or friends of someone with BPD to nurture them and aid
them as they stressed this MUST be possib...
In a response to a Codependent commenter on a video I did about Borderlines Lying and
manipulation whether it is on purpose, calcuulated or not - it is what it is, this
person who left a semi=hostile but Codependent denying comment thought that it should
be possible for partners, Ex's or friends of someone with BPD to nurture them and aid
them as they stressed this MUST be possib...
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March 21, 2024 • 54 mins
BPD Quiet Discouraged Subtype Specific Traits and Shocking Discards
The quiet Borderline subtype known and described as the Discouraged Borderline. A look at this presentation and manifestation of Borderline Personality Disorder.
The specific Quiet BPD subtype traits are discussed as well as the reasons why a Discouraged Borderline's shocking discard is one of the most painful relationship endings. Cold discards by the Quiet Borderli...
The quiet Borderline subtype known and described as the Discouraged Borderline. A look at this presentation and manifestation of Borderline Personality Disorder.
The specific Quiet BPD subtype traits are discussed as well as the reasons why a Discouraged Borderline's shocking discard is one of the most painful relationship endings. Cold discards by the Quiet Borderli...
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March 19, 2024 • 60 mins
Salacious BPD Women Are Not Dreams But Relationship Nightmares
Every person with Borderline Personality, their lives matter and are worth living. But in response to an objectified erroneous and pathological veneration of Borderline Women that goes way too far via his perspective as a malignant narcissist. Some of his video "Borderline's Life is Worth Living Technicolor Adventure" is in some aspects very dark and not only misses the ...
Every person with Borderline Personality, their lives matter and are worth living. But in response to an objectified erroneous and pathological veneration of Borderline Women that goes way too far via his perspective as a malignant narcissist. Some of his video "Borderline's Life is Worth Living Technicolor Adventure" is in some aspects very dark and not only misses the ...
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March 10, 2024 • 37 mins
BPD Breakup Obsession & Codependent Excuses Waiting to Be Rescued By Who?
Please note: At two points in this (passionate) episode I mention being very fed up with many of the
excuses like the commenter I respond to in this episode. I am referring to being fed up with
people on social media, denying their Codependency and making excuses - I am very patient and
not ever fed up at all with working with any singal client. In the video...
Please note: At two points in this (passionate) episode I mention being very fed up with many of the
excuses like the commenter I respond to in this episode. I am referring to being fed up with
people on social media, denying their Codependency and making excuses - I am very patient and
not ever fed up at all with working with any singal client. In the video...
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March 10, 2024 • 21 mins
Borderlines Can’t Find Love Or Love You From Your Perspective - Borderlines Don't Take Your Identity or Self or Mental Image and then find love from that perspective
Borderlines can't find love or feel love for you from your perspective, or mental image or somehow by "taking" your identity or self from you to see your perspective at all. Too many people with Codependency believe this because you really want to believe who you though...
Borderlines can't find love or feel love for you from your perspective, or mental image or somehow by "taking" your identity or self from you to see your perspective at all. Too many people with Codependency believe this because you really want to believe who you though...
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March 3, 2024 • 40 mins
Petulant BPD Rage Uses You and The Why Insight of a Recovered Borderline
Petulant Borderlines use you when they rage at you. A borderline rage does make them feel better at your expense. They are often not aware of what is happening for your or how you are affected by them. Self-awareness deficits in untreated BPD mean that Borderlines are too engulfed and absorbed with their own dysregulated feelings to even be aware of how they ar...
Petulant Borderlines use you when they rage at you. A borderline rage does make them feel better at your expense. They are often not aware of what is happening for your or how you are affected by them. Self-awareness deficits in untreated BPD mean that Borderlines are too engulfed and absorbed with their own dysregulated feelings to even be aware of how they ar...
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February 12, 2024 • 34 mins
Borderline Splitting Cycles Mixed With Codependent Denial
Borderline splitting cycles mixed with Codependent denial fuel the betrayal bonded dynamics of cognitive dissoncance, falsely believing and defending that a BPD partner or BPD Ex "loves" you. Denial of one's own Codependency is often a conscious and unconscious driver of people continuing to pursue the fantasy of BPD Relationship "love". Untreated people with Borderline Pers...
Borderline splitting cycles mixed with Codependent denial fuel the betrayal bonded dynamics of cognitive dissoncance, falsely believing and defending that a BPD partner or BPD Ex "loves" you. Denial of one's own Codependency is often a conscious and unconscious driver of people continuing to pursue the fantasy of BPD Relationship "love". Untreated people with Borderline Pers...
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February 11, 2024 • 41 mins
Recontacting Your BPD Ex (Reverse Hoovering) Increases Your Suffering
Recontacting your BPD Ex is reverse hoovering and it increases Codependents suffering. Many people with Codependency are still in denial of the reverse hoovering responsibility that they have. No matter how the relationship "ended" or if it is on/off and/or being recycle, recontacting a borderline or still in communication increases the suffering of people with C...
Recontacting your BPD Ex is reverse hoovering and it increases Codependents suffering. Many people with Codependency are still in denial of the reverse hoovering responsibility that they have. No matter how the relationship "ended" or if it is on/off and/or being recycle, recontacting a borderline or still in communication increases the suffering of people with C...
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February 8, 2024 • 29 mins
Borderlines Don't Value You in Dating or Relationships
Borderlines don't value you in dating or relationships because they are insatiable and have failed at "othering". People with BPD are very (lack of) self-focused and emotionally only aware of their feelings, wants that they mix up with needs. Borderlines don't value you because emotionally they are actually not relating to you, for who you really are.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
Borderlines don't value you in dating or relationships because they are insatiable and have failed at "othering". People with BPD are very (lack of) self-focused and emotionally only aware of their feelings, wants that they mix up with needs. Borderlines don't value you because emotionally they are actually not relating to you, for who you really are.
https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
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February 4, 2024 • 30 mins
Loving a Borderline & Why You Will Never Know Who He or She Is or Was
Loving a borderline woman or man it is a high percentage of people in all relationship types who really will never know who that person with BPD in your life, or was in your life, is. Loving a borderline is loving someone you really don't know. It's loving someone for who you thought they were in the beginning and for who you still wish and/or have false hope ...
Loving a borderline woman or man it is a high percentage of people in all relationship types who really will never know who that person with BPD in your life, or was in your life, is. Loving a borderline is loving someone you really don't know. It's loving someone for who you thought they were in the beginning and for who you still wish and/or have false hope ...
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January 30, 2024 • 27 mins
BPD Discard & Dangle Fantasy Facade At The End Like the Beginning
Many with BPD when they discard you with or without actually saying so dangle the fantasy facade at the end like they did in the beginning. They want you to believe they are going to be the person you thought they were in the beginning, at the end, as they monkey-branch or quickly go to the next person. This is (often unconscious) manipulation to leave you feeling...
Many with BPD when they discard you with or without actually saying so dangle the fantasy facade at the end like they did in the beginning. They want you to believe they are going to be the person you thought they were in the beginning, at the end, as they monkey-branch or quickly go to the next person. This is (often unconscious) manipulation to leave you feeling...
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January 30, 2024 • 44 mins
BPD Breakup & Codependent Woundedness Vulnerability is a Strength After Healing
After a BPD Breakup, ghosting and/or discard getting into your own healing and recovery journey focusing on yourself - not the Borderline Ex - healing your Codependency and becoming a bounded, empowered, independent person means your vulnerability will be a strength, not a weakness.
In response to a comment on a shote I did about my empowered understa...
After a BPD Breakup, ghosting and/or discard getting into your own healing and recovery journey focusing on yourself - not the Borderline Ex - healing your Codependency and becoming a bounded, empowered, independent person means your vulnerability will be a strength, not a weakness.
In response to a comment on a shote I did about my empowered understa...
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January 6, 2024 • 14 mins
Responding to Borderline Ex Only When Contacted or Hoovered is NOT No Contact
Are you an Ex of someone suspected of having BPD or someone you know has BPD? Whether you know the relationship is over or not are you trying to not initiate contact first? Are you a stance now of only responding to contact (hoovers) from your Ex and thinking that means you have gone *no contact*?
You are not in full no contact if your Ex with BPD can conta...
Are you an Ex of someone suspected of having BPD or someone you know has BPD? Whether you know the relationship is over or not are you trying to not initiate contact first? Are you a stance now of only responding to contact (hoovers) from your Ex and thinking that means you have gone *no contact*?
You are not in full no contact if your Ex with BPD can conta...
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December 26, 2023 • 15 mins
BPD Deceptive Hoovers & BPD Ex's Self Deceptive Reverse Hoovers
BPD deceptive hoovers are what hoovers are, deceptive. BPD Ex's reverse hoovers are often self-deceptive. BPD hoovers or Ex's reverse hoovers only lead to more of the same - try again, nothing changes, no re-idealization or honeymoon phase and as the BPD betrayal bond cycles repeat over and over you keep end up being in that same stuck "want/need my BPD Ex back" ago...
BPD deceptive hoovers are what hoovers are, deceptive. BPD Ex's reverse hoovers are often self-deceptive. BPD hoovers or Ex's reverse hoovers only lead to more of the same - try again, nothing changes, no re-idealization or honeymoon phase and as the BPD betrayal bond cycles repeat over and over you keep end up being in that same stuck "want/need my BPD Ex back" ago...
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December 11, 2023 • 36 mins
Riding the Chaotic Rollercoaster of a Borderline? Core Secret Understanding You Need To Know
If you are riding the chaotic rollercoaster of a Borderline, there is a secret understanding that you need to know. Many resist this understanding that is your own healthy way forward toward no contact and finding your own healing, closure and the reasons and lessons of what you have gone through and why you are finding it so incredibly dif...
If you are riding the chaotic rollercoaster of a Borderline, there is a secret understanding that you need to know. Many resist this understanding that is your own healthy way forward toward no contact and finding your own healing, closure and the reasons and lessons of what you have gone through and why you are finding it so incredibly dif...
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November 11, 2023 • 48 mins
Definition and 5 Signs of a Trauma Bond with a Borderline or Narcissist
Definition and 5 Signs of a Trauma Bond with a Borderline or a Narcissist that every Codependent partner, on/off relationship recycling, or Ex of a person with BPD or NPD needs to know. People in relationships with a person with BPD or NPD are in trauma bonded relationships that are not healthy. People in these relationships do have Codependency, to one degree o...
Definition and 5 Signs of a Trauma Bond with a Borderline or a Narcissist that every Codependent partner, on/off relationship recycling, or Ex of a person with BPD or NPD needs to know. People in relationships with a person with BPD or NPD are in trauma bonded relationships that are not healthy. People in these relationships do have Codependency, to one degree o...
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November 4, 2023 • 19 mins
The Borderline Set Up Hoover
The Borderline set up hoover is unlike any other type or generic "average" hoover.
The Borderline set up hoover is one that is your BPD Ex plotting to punish you
(especially the female borderline vs the male BPD Ex) by lying false accusations
to get you arrested and put in jail. This is as serious as your BPD Ex can ever
get. Not all with BPD will do this set up hoover but many more women with BPD are
do...
The Borderline set up hoover is unlike any other type or generic "average" hoover.
The Borderline set up hoover is one that is your BPD Ex plotting to punish you
(especially the female borderline vs the male BPD Ex) by lying false accusations
to get you arrested and put in jail. This is as serious as your BPD Ex can ever
get. Not all with BPD will do this set up hoover but many more women with BPD are
do...
Mark as Played
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