November 5, 2025 • 42 mins
What if the thing holding back your leadership isn’t a lack of skill — but your grip on control? In this bold episode of That Will Nevr Work, Maurice Chism sits down with Renee Hastings, CEO of Executive Help Now and leadership strategist, to unpack The Power of Letting Go. Renee reveals how she moved from doing it all herself to building a culture of trust, teamwork, and scalable growth. Together, they explore:
Resources:
- The myths leaders believe about control,
- How trust becomes the true foundation of leadership,
- The emotional hurdles of letting go,
- Practical systems that allow leaders to delegate with confidence.
Resources:
- Well Why Not Workbook: https://bit.ly/authormauricechism
- Podmatch: https://bit.ly/joinpodmatchwithmaurice
- *FREE* 5 Bold Shifts to help you silence doubt and start moving: https://bit.ly/5boldshifts
- Maurice Chism: https://bit.ly/CoachMaurice
- Website: https://bit.ly/mauricechism
- To be a guest: https://bit.ly/beaguestonthatwillnevrworkpodcast
- Business Email: mchism@chismgroup.net
- Business Address: PO Box 460, Secane, PA 19018
- Spreaker: https://bit.ly/TWNWSpreaker
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Empowering, strategic, courageous to get. Today's guest knows that leadership
isn't about how tightly you hold on. It's about the
courage to let go. Renee Hastings, CEO of Executive Help Now,
has built a career on helping leaders release control, build trust,
(00:22):
and unlock the true power of teamwork. We'll talk about
it right after this.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Educate, empower, enable impact. Thank you for tuning in to
That Will Never Work, an award winning podcast where we
share inspiring information and personal experiences related to business and
the entrepreneurial journey from those who are leaders in their
respective field. Now here's your host, author and business coach, Maurice.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
I thank you very much for tuning in. I thank
you very much for tuning and so you will be
able to read Renee's information, her bio, links to her website,
all that type of stuff. Of course, you know it
will be in the show notes. But we want to
jump all the way in. Renee, how many leaders fear
(01:16):
that letting go means losing control? And when did you
realize that releasing control was the very thing that allowed
you to grow as a leader.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Wow? Good, Hello, Maurice, Thank you so much for having
me on the show. I'm not sure if we're going
to be aired in the morning or in the afternoon,
but whenever it is, I'm just failed to be here.
One of the things that I have discovered with our
clients and said several of them, I'm going to say
probably seven out of ten have a problem with letting go.
(01:51):
And there's so many reasons for that. Some of it
could be because they suffer from perfectionism. Some of it
could be because they fear there's a fear of allowing
someone else into their personal business. Some of them could
feel like they're losing control because if someone else has
(02:15):
this information or someone else x on their behalf, then
there is something like some sort of stigma or some
sort of negativity associated with that particular activity. There's many
reasons that leaders have a problem with letting go, and
one of the first things I encourage them to do
(02:37):
is get to the source of what that is. What
is that that keeps them from letting go, Because it's
deeper than just handing over a calendar or an inbox
or asking somebody to handle your travel arrangements. It goes deeper.
It's a whole lot deeper. And once they do that
(02:58):
internal work, they discover what that is, they deal with it,
fix it, turn it around. That's when they're going to
start to feel the freedom that comes with letting go.
There is true freedom and letting go.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I hear you, well, a lot of times we're not
taught how to let go, you know, especially when you're
starting a business, or you know, you're a new parent,
whatever it is. Hey, this is your baby. You don't
want the wrong information out there. You don't want no
one teaching your baby the wrong behaviors, all those types
(03:43):
of things. So we hold on so tight. So because
we're taught that innately and taught that, you know, how
do we let go, especially if it's so embedded in
us down the line.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
One of the things that's important to do is to
let one thing at a time, something small, something minor,
something that if something happened, the world would not end,
like something that depictable, like something you can handle, like
if it went awry for some one reason or another.
(04:18):
More times than that, it won't go awry when you look.
Brought on the right person to your team to delegate
this information too. So that is important is making sure
that you bring on the right team member. You've done
the right vetting and making sure that their values aligned
(04:39):
with yours, that they have the right skill set, that
they have the right background, that they're the best match
for you. And when you delegate that one thing to them,
then it's easier to delegate something else. Once they have
repeatedly and consistently done that thing well well, without mistakes,
(05:02):
with in a timely fashion, with professionalism, over and over again,
then you start to build trust. Once that trust is built,
then it's easier to add on one more little thing
that won't end the world. So you want to keep
on adding on these little things until you get comfortable.
(05:25):
It's important for you to develop a level of comfort
with this person because you're letting them into a space
that no one else is privy to. Right this could
be new territory for you. New territory is often scary territory,
and so when you allow yourself to feel a fear
(05:46):
and do it anyway and work through that within yourself
with your person, then you'll discover not only that freedom
that comes, but also the ability to delegate even better quicker,
because as you'll realize, Maurice, that not only is this
person capable, but they are. They end up being a
(06:09):
strategic partner for you. They end up being that person
you can hand things off to, you can delegate to,
and so you don't have to carry the whole load
by yourself. If you are a solopreneur or an entrepreneur
without a large team, you'll want somebody that can share
this load. Because you're not an expert in everything. You
(06:32):
are an expert in doing what you do. They are
an expert in doing what they do. And when you
allow them the opportunity to operate in their gifts, then
you're being a blessing to them. And it's a great
relationship that develops and just continues to grow.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Renee like, you keep giving them so much information that
I'm not sure which way to go because there's so
many parts to that. First, how in the world can
I trust somebody again if I wasn't taught that, because
that's not again. I'm an introvert Renee, you know, and
I want to hold on to the as much power
as I can. And because of that, that all I
(07:15):
think that shows my weakness in certain places and spaces,
and I don't because I am the leader. I think
I need to show that I am the smartest person
in the room. You know, we get caught up in
those type of traps as well, So how would I
get over those type of hurdles of you know, because
I am the leader, I have to be the one
(07:37):
that knows everything right.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Well, if first of all, if you are the smartest
person in the room, you need to change rooms because
you are never gonna grow being the smartest person in
the room. You need to surround yourself with other people
who know more than you, who have been through more
than you, who have overcome more than you, who can
speak into you and get you to where they are,
(08:01):
which is, you know, hopefully where you want to be.
So being the smartest person in the room isn't a
good thing. So first of all, recognize that and then
understand that there is a challenge that we all have.
Not everybody is an extrovert. Not everybody is just so
(08:22):
free flowing with their information. Some people keep things very
guarded into the chest and have made a habit of it.
Recognize it as a habit. And when you're trying to
break a habit, it takes twenty one days, is what
I've heard. Twenty one days to break a habit, and
so you keep on doing the things that are uncomfortable
(08:44):
for you for twenty one days and not major things though.
Again I'm going back to the baby steps, baby stepping
one little thing until you get comfortable, because you have
to get sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Once you get sick and tired of being sick and
tired and carrying this whole heavy load by yourself, you're
(09:07):
going to say, something's got to give. How does it give?
You give it to somebody else? You let it.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Again, these are emotional barriers that I haven't dealt with.
You know, I don't understand totally my emotional intelligence. I
haven't dealt with it all the way, you know, all
these little components that you're referring to, you know, Renee,
I don't know how to deal with that. So how
do I get over these personal barriers? Because these things
are really holding me back? And I noticed that even
(09:37):
as a leader, when I talk to my team or
whatever it is, I'm so stand offish because I haven't
dealt with that. I don't want and also I may
not want to get too close to these individuals because
I want to again, keep that superiority, identity. So so
(09:57):
how do I break those emotional barriers.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
One of the things I think is so I can relate.
So this is why I can speak so freely on
this because I have been here, done this, and I've
done the work. So I get it. Trust me when
I tell you I get it. And one of the
things that helped me to overcome the same situations is
by surrounding myself with the community of people that helped
(10:24):
to speak into me and to help me identify what
the root of these issues are. Sometimes it even to
personal counseling, Like I had to get a therapist and
they had to help me get to the root of
what that is that keeps me from feeling keeps me
feeling like I have to be the one in control.
I have to be the leader. I'm the one who
(10:45):
has to be the boss. I have to be the
one to tell everybody what to do, and everybody has
to just do what I say. And my way is
the right way, and it's my way or the highway.
So I mean, I had a lot to work hard,
and so one that started to break down, and I'm
(11:06):
a woman of faith, and so I took I did
a lot of communicating with my Bible study group and
we prayed a lot. That may be what works for
you or somewhere that worked for me. There are other
communities professional development organizations that have mentorship groups that get
(11:27):
together and you partner up with someone else who is
where you want to be, or seek them out. There's
an amazing organization called Kaba that I'm associated with that
is all about excellent and elevating one another and working
together to build what it is that we're looking for
(11:50):
and making a difference in our communities and in our
lives and building that generational wealth. And so it's organizations
like that you can partner with it to somebody there
who can help you know, you can have these frank
conversations with and say, look, this is what I'm dealing with.
You know, you gotta be a little vulnerable, You have
(12:10):
to be a little transparent. You have to kind of
open yourself up a little bit to let somebody in
and not feel like that's a weakness. You have to
overcome that mindset that that's a weakness. It is not
a weakness, because once you can be real with yourself,
then you can start to be real and more truly
authentic and transparent with your team. And the more transparent
(12:34):
you are with your team and authentic with your team
that you are, the closer knit that team becomes, and
the more they will want to do for you because
they realize you're just a guy that's okay.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
And so I'm gonna dig a little deeper because Renee,
I did some research. I come prepared, and so the
there there, I listened to another on another podcast, and
you share your personal story of some things you had
gone through as a teenager, right, and you're welcome to share,
(13:09):
but I'm just gonna give the premise of it. And
because of you saying that you're a woman of faith
or whatever it might be, sometimes whatever you might have
gone through as a kid, and then people look it
down upon you because of whatever challenges we did back
in the day. And so now that also brings up
some type of wall where I don't know how to
(13:32):
trust because the adults in my life, the mentors in
my life look down upon me now and now I'm
a pariah or whatever it might be. You know, So
when how do you deal those real life experiences that
affects you as a leader moving forward? Because I'm looking
(13:54):
down upon, especially in a religious organization. Possibly.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Wow. Well, thank you for bringing this up, because I
have shared this on other shows and I don't share
it often. What you're referring to is the fact that
I graduated from high school at sixteen years old. And
when I graduated from high school at sixteen, I also
graduated with a one month old son, and as a
(14:21):
teen mom, there were these stigmas associated and statistics associated
with teen motherhood parenthood that if you are a teen parent,
then you're going to end up on welfare and be
a burden on society. And then once you're on welfare,
that's going to be your way of life, and you're
(14:42):
going to be a part of the system for forever,
and you're going to be just a burden. And so
my mom, bless her heart, I love her to death.
She always said to me before this happened. She said,
you can do anything you put your mind to, and
just be Because you now have this child does not
(15:03):
mean that your life is over. It just means your
life is going to be harder, but harder never hurt anybody.
It will make you strong and you will be resilient.
You will still be successful you will still make something
of yourself. And it wasn't like she presented it like
an option. So I really thank her for that because
(15:34):
it was because I kept hearing those words over and
over in my head that this does not define me,
This particular life situation does not define me and who
I am and what I'm capable of. So I took
all of that intestinal fortitude that I had and I
(15:55):
went and I applied for jobs, and I ended up
getting a very well paid job working for the State
of Wisconsin during the day and a even better paying
job at night working for Wisconsin Bell Phone Company. And
I was able to get my own apartment and take
care of my son for his entire first year we
were not on welfare. But then I missed all his
(16:19):
first and so that's a whole nother story of the
sacrifices that you make when you make these innerviows of
what you're going to do to avoid being another statistic.
So anyways, long story short, I ended up marrying his father,
and we ended up on welfare and coming from low
(16:42):
income housing food stamps, going to the food pantry at
the church, trying to just put enough food on the
table was all of those resources were available to me
that I used just for that purpose to help me
get off of us. So that even though I didn't
(17:02):
have a welfare check coming in, I still had my
wages from my jobs that I was working, and I
still had you know, food stamps or whatever. Either way,
it was temporary. It wasn't a lifestyle. It wasn't and
which is what I saw going on all around me
and those communities of low income. Sometimes all you see
(17:23):
is poor people being poor and doing things that keep
them poor. I did not want to be poor. I
wanted more for my life. And so because of that,
I continue to excel and surround myself with older people
who had been through some things who could teach me
some things that will help me get to where I
(17:45):
wanted to go. And that's what I did, year after
year after year after year. And then I did eventually
go to college and graduate with a college degree. My
kids left home and I had all this time on
my hands, and I decided to start a bit business.
So that's how it all works.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
So what for those that are listening, how would you
explain the role of trust, Because sometimes because of that stigma,
we have a hard time trying to trust a person
a situation, whatever it is, especially when we're facing a
challenge or a crisis. So, so how do you talk
(18:26):
to someone talk them through that process of building trust
and understanding that that role, how important that role really
is to get you to the next level.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Right, So actions speak louder than words. So when someone
can show you that they are trustworthy, you can believe them,
believe what you see, especially when they do it over
and over and over again. Because when we partner with
an executive, we understand that they've been through some things.
(18:58):
They may be traumatized by a pass experience where somebody
did them wrong or something in whether it's personal or professional,
and they may struggle. We are completely aware that this
situation exists in people's lives, and we empathize with them
and we understand them, and so we walk this journey
at their pace as they developed this trust. And we
(19:23):
have a particular client who struggled with the same thing
and it took some time. I'm going to say probably
a good six to eight, maybe even nine months before
he was able to let go of a few things,
and because he held so much to the chance. But
once he did, and our team member who supported him,
(19:46):
was able to be there for him when he needed her,
you know, you know, they have a schedule and that
sort of thing. But she was always there. She never
let him down. She was always there, and so he
came to rely on that and depend on that. And
the more he relied on it, the more he depended
(20:08):
on it, and the more she was there and she
showed up and didn't let him down, that trust starts
to develop.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
And so I think, as I'm listening to you, it
makes me think of what type of systems was someone
need to have in place in order for them to
develop that trust and to follow a process, you know,
so that way they can start to let go in
those situations where they can start to let go of
the control, that ego, whatever it is that's stopping them
(20:39):
from being This is just a pure example of a
one hundred dollars a week organization to now a million
dollar a month, you know situation. So what type of
systems do you think or do you recommend for someone
to develop so they can get over those humps.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
So it's super important to have a communication system. So
whether that is a touch base every morning by text,
where your schedule tech on your phone that your assistant
sends to you and says, here, this is your lineup
for today. Let me know if anything changes or you
need to make any adjustments, or it is a weekly
(21:17):
communication that you all have where you assign a bunch
of things and then by the next week when you
all get together, it needs to get done. And then
you get together and you check in and all those
things are done, and then you assign some new stuff.
Every person has their own style and way of communicating.
When you are communicating with your assistant on a regular basis,
(21:41):
whatever regular looks like for you, then that helps you
create the systems that you need internally to not only
release but to move forward the needle of your business.
Because one of the things that we love to do
is check in with our clients and say, hey, what's
(22:02):
going on for this week? Not only this week, but
what do you have coming up the next month, the
next two months, the next three months. Where do you
want to be by the end of this quarter. And
so once you share with us and we give you
that opportunity to think that through and you share that
with us, we then then keep you on track and say, hey,
(22:25):
you know you're making this decision to do this right now.
But what about when you said this, how is this
going to impact that? You know? So that's the level
of assistance that you get when you when you partner
with a company like mine or executive he now that
that are thought partners with you to help you get
(22:46):
to your next level and help you scale and growth.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
And so this was the great segue because I listened again,
I did my research and listen to you how you
started your organization. You know that you know, you trust
it in yourself. You bet on yourself, but a lot
of that had come from your past, like you know,
your experiences. So it wasn't like you just pop it
(23:11):
out of thin air, you know, because sometimes we don't
value where we've been. We don't value the conversations we
might have had or the daily task that you know,
there's sometimes we don't value that because we don't always
get that from our leaders. We don't understand that value. So,
so can you explain to the listeners what encouraged you
(23:35):
to start your organization?
Speaker 3 (23:38):
So when I I love that term bet on yourself,
because when when the odds are against you and you're
kind of you know, people are saying, oh, well, you'll
never amount to anything. Here we are this teen mom,
and and you know all you're going to be is
this burden on society. First of all them fighting words, I.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Was like no.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
And so maybe it was just my stubborn personality that
made me say this, Like I said, does not define me.
I'm going to bet on myself. I'm going to make
sure that whatever I do, I am the absolute best
at it and that you will be hard pressed to
find somebody better at this than me. So as I
(24:28):
continued gaining skills and knowledge and being given opportunities, stretch,
opportunities to prove myself, then that just made me even
more valuable to my employer at the time, because I
was working in corporate America, and I took all of
(24:48):
those experiences, all the good experiences where I met the goals,
I met the objectives, all the bad experiences where I
may have fallen short, and did some assessment and figured
out what did I do, what should I have done differently?
And all of those experiences, piled on top of the other,
(25:09):
created the foundation that I needed as I was building
this business from way back then and so and when
my clients started coming and they started telling me what
a difference it was making in their lives to have
me as part of their team, and they kept telling
their friends about the service they were getting. We eventually
(25:32):
became too much for me to handle by myself, and
I was working just as many hours in the evening
on my business as I was during the day for
my day job. And so when you're burning the candle
at both and something's bound to suffer. And I was
raised with a very strong work ethic and a high
standard of excellence, and when things are not perfect and
(25:55):
things don't turn out the exact way that I have played,
then I know that something's got to get And so
that's when I brought on my own first virtual assistant.
And it was from then that I realized the difference
that having a virtual assistant in my life made, like
it was night and day, like I could finally breathe.
(26:18):
And that led to my ability to lead, because now
I have somebody that I'm responsible for right and giving
them work and following up, so I'm practicing what I'm preaching.
And so it just makes sense that when you bet
on yourself and you allow yourself to be taken care
of that's when the magic happens, and that's when things change,
(26:43):
and that's when the business starts to grow.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
There's something that you said though, in that there's no
one better than you, right, that mentality. A lot of
times we don't have that confidence in ourselves understand that
because we are our authentic selves. There is no one
(27:06):
better than me because of me, No one could be
better than me at me being me than me, right,
you know. And and so when we start an organization,
we're working our nine to fives where apparent, whatever the
situation might be, we're bringing our best selves in that
moment because you know, we can't be perfect one hundred
(27:27):
percent of the time. Some people try, but we can't
be right, you know. But you know, but I think
that no if everyone had that mentality that hey, you
know what I am one hundred percent you're you know,
I qualify to be in this position, I own this
(27:48):
position or whatever it is. Because a lot because again
confidence kind of you know, throws us off and based
off of personal history. Again, like I said, because I've
had some supervisors that just did not pour back into me,
and that kind of tore me apart in we're seeing
it doing employee reviews and I thought I did a
(28:11):
great job over the last six months, and now I
feel bad, you know. And so I think that's something
that a lot of times we don't have that mentality
because we don't get that feedback in that manner, right right.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
I hear you, I absolutely hear you. And sometimes when
we're getting those performance reviews in corporate America that we
may they we may have blind spots that we're not
aware of. I had a blind spot that I wasn't
aware of, and I had a boss who was kind
enough to care enough to tell me about these blind spots.
(28:52):
And he said to me, because he said, you know, Renee,
you come in and you know you're working with your
team members and you're all polished and professional, and you
got your degrees, and you walk in and you and
the error in the room just changes. And he said,
but you get what you need, but you're killing the
(29:15):
soldiers along the way. And so he's like, you're being
a bull in a china shop and I'm like, what
are you talking about, and he said, yeah, you you
you are walking around like the world revolves around you,
and people need to stop what they're doing to give
you what you need for me. And he said to me,
(29:37):
I'm not of that important and neither are you. Stop it,
stop it, and if you don't change, then maybe this
isn't the job for you. And so when he presented
that to me, first of all, I was mad. I
was like, I'm just here to do a job. I'm
not here to make friends. I'm not here to try
(29:57):
to you know, be everybody's b here. I'm here to
do a job and do it well. And he's like, yes,
you are here to do a job, and you do
do it very well. But along the way, you need
to develop relationships with people because that is going to
be what helps catapult you to the next level. Oh, Maurice,
(30:22):
he might as well have said, you're gonna have to
jump off the cliff and the Grand Canyon. And I
was like, there's absolutely no way I want to do this.
I don't. I don't, I don't want to develop relationships
with people. But there were no truer words I said,
(30:42):
because this was so unfamiliar to me. This is such
new territory, and I didn't know how to do this
because you know, I'm all about business, business, I'm not
caring about your cat you know, I'm going to both
about the business. So he said, take a personal interest
(31:04):
in people. That will help make you a good leader.
Take a personal interest in people. And I said, okay,
how do I do that? He says, Ask people about
their family, Ask people about their weekend, how do things go?
Ask people you know what's going on and what they
have planned and all the things, and remember what they say.
(31:25):
Listen and pay attention to what they say so that
when you get back to them you can ask them
about it. I was so aggravated to have to do this.
Oh my word, I promise you. This was so hard
for me because it was a some this may come
naturally for some people to do, not me, and what
(31:50):
it was a growth opportunity for me. And over the
course of two years, I practiced this practice taking an
interest in other people. I practice listening to what other
people had to say. I practice asking questions about their lives.
(32:12):
And at first it was so robotic, like I couldn't
that's about what they said. I was like, okay, let
me say this. Okay, now I got to remember that. Okay. Anyways, Anyways,
that whole experience prepared me for developing the absolute best
team in the world of assistance with executive help now
(32:36):
and our team often tells me, Renee, you make it
easy to work for you. We want to you succeed,
We want to see this company succeed. We want to
be a part of something great because of how you lead.
You lead because and you show that you care about
each and every one of us, and I genuinely do,
(32:59):
truly do. And it makes a difference. It absolutely makes
a difference. But if it were not for that boss
who told me that I was a bull in a
china shop and I had to change, I wouldn't be ready.
I wouldn't have been able.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
To And I see, I think that is part of
my point of being confident versus egotistical, you know, because
sometimes when we're in our ego, no one could tell
us anything different, right you know? Now, granted, do you
think that your your confidence in that moment was so
(33:35):
damaged that you didn't try, that you didn't want to
do something different? Look at how because you were still Hey,
I'm still Renee. He just asked me to tweak something
real quick. But now look at where you are now,
where it has even taken you to a whole nother level.
Where I'm still Renee, you know. And so instead of saying, hey,
(33:57):
you know what, I'm renee. You can't tell me anything else.
I'm already per But that's the ego talking right right exactly.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
And so he actually revealed something that was already in
me that I didn't even know I had. I have
had other bosses, on the other hand, who have tried
to tear me down and tell me I wasn't any
good and that I was terrible at what I do
and they were just evil people. And because I'm a
(34:28):
I prayed and I was like, Lord, what is this?
Why are they treating me this way? Why are they
talking to me this way? Why are they trying to
make me feel less than or like I'm not capable
of doing what I've been doing for the past twenty years.
And again, it was about developing a relationship with that
(34:49):
person to try to understand where they're coming from and
what their perspective is and why they are treating me
this way. I took the time to ask a question,
why do you behave this when I do this? Why
do you do that? And we actually had to sit
down and this boss explained to me why she did
(35:09):
what where she came from, what her experience had been,
and all of these things, and we were able to
have a mature conversation about her behavior and how she
was treating me, and it worked for a while. Then
we had to get hr involved. But anyways, that's a
(35:29):
whole nother story. But yeah, it was bad. It was
really bad, and it really did My confidence did take
a hit because of it. But I knew I was
supposed to be there and there was nothing that anyone
was going to be able to do to move me
out of there before it was time for me to go.
(35:50):
And I was determined to continue to go through the
fire with this person and come out victorious on the
other end, even though I got some wounds in scars.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Yeah, and it happens to the best of us. But
I think this lends itself to full circle of our
conversation of now you're speaking to this one supervisor manager
and you have to find out you have to speak
to her, find out her background, understand what walls that
come up in her life that might have you know, Hey, Renee,
(36:24):
this is the reason why I'm treating you because I
might have gone through this fire before and I didn't
want to be burned again, or I saw it happen
to someone else and I don't want to happen to me.
Whatever the influences are, you know, So we have to
understand or give some grace to that person's past, whatever
they might have been through, whatever it is, and not
(36:46):
hold them hostage to that because everyone has opportunity to
have life spoken into them for them to grow, you know.
And I think that's something key that you're talking about.
Like I said, full full circle, whole conversation in a nutshell,
that's how I'm taking what you're saying right now.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Yes, absolutely, because you'll discover as they're explaining themselves and
where they've been and their past experiences, that this is
just a hurt person. They are hurting, they are insecure
about something, they may have a complex about something. And
it's your own wisdom and discernment that comes into play
(37:28):
as you're having this conversation. And when you want what
my boss said, my bull in a China shop boss said,
is to seek to understand, not to be understood. And
when you seek to understand, that will help you navigate
the situation. So I took the time to seek to understand.
(37:52):
I then made it easier for me to deal with
her nonsense and overlook a lot of her faults and
shortcomings and even come to her defenses needed a time
or two. And so it was. It just was one
of those things that kind of had to play itself out,
but it was for a purpose. It all served a
(38:15):
greater purpose. It wasn't just for me to grow in
that moment, but it was to prepare me for what
was to come for our future.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Nice. See, wow, this is why I said those three
words earlier. Courageous you know you are because those type
of things we don't we don't know, you know, strategic, empowering,
you know, I think you've you really embodied those three words.
So those three words that I start off with was
really explaining you.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Thank you so much, let me tell you, And that
has been good. I just have to give him the
glory because I could not have done it on my
own strength and without my community of women in my
Bible study to continue to pray incessantly over the situations
and that I have strength and wisdom to make it
(39:09):
through each day.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Nice. Nice, So, Renee, I appreciate you coming on the show,
but I do have a question that I ask all
my guests before they leave, is my would you rather question? So, Renee,
would you rather choose three doors or a forking road? Now,
there's no right or wrong answer, and think outside the box.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
M would I'd rather choose three doors or a fork
in the road. I would say a fork in the road, the.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Fork in the road and wild fork in the road.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
I think I would choose a fork in the road
because I have a fifty to fifty chance of getting
something great.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Okay, all right, cool, cool, I mean look nice, simple
and sweet.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
Other ways you have three three chances like here.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Well, Rene, I beg you very much for coming on
the show, So please share where people can find you,
your podcast, your website, all that type of stuff.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
So we're at executive helpnow. Dot org is our website
and tell us all about our history and our service
offerings and different things like that. Were also on Facebook,
LinkedIn Instagram, all the socials at executive help Now. I
also have a YouTube channel called Brenet Speaks. I would
(40:33):
love everyone to like, share and subscribe. And yeah, those
are the most places. And some people may be wondering
if they're ready for an assistant, and so if they
text the letters v A n OW for VA now
to one eight six six nine four three three five
(40:54):
nine one. They'll get a cute little freebie in the
email to help them think through the process so that
they can make a decision on when what a virtual
assistant can do for them.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
Nice, nice, nice, Renee. You know, I thank you very
much for bringing so much clarity and courage to this
conversation today, and thank you for reminding us that leadership
isn't about holding things tighter, but it's about building trust,
empowering teams, and creating freedom. So I think it very
much for coming on the show.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Thank you, This has been great.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Sure, thank you, and of course all of you that
are out there, you know, I would like really would
like for you to take the time and identify this
coming week, you know, just a decision, a task or
something that you've been wrestling with, you know, so I
would like for you to try to release it this week,
and in addition to that, build a small trust ritual,
whether it's a feedback loop or weekly check in or
(41:48):
decision filter. So and if need being text, Renee, so right,
But I thinkan y'all very much for listening today, and
I will talk to y'all just a little bit later.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
Thanks for listening. Follow Maurice Chisholm on social media to
stay connected and check back weekly for new episodes until
next time. That will never work, or will it
Empowering, strategic, courageous to get. Today's guest knows that leadership
isn't about how tightly you hold on. It's about the
courage to let go. Renee Hastings, CEO of Executive Help Now,
has built a career on helping leaders release control, build trust,
(00:22):
and unlock the true power of teamwork. We'll talk about
it right after this.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Educate, empower, enable impact. Thank you for tuning in to
That Will Never Work, an award winning podcast where we
share inspiring information and personal experiences related to business and
the entrepreneurial journey from those who are leaders in their
respective field. Now here's your host, author and business coach, Maurice.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
I thank you very much for tuning in. I thank
you very much for tuning and so you will be
able to read Renee's information, her bio, links to her website,
all that type of stuff. Of course, you know it
will be in the show notes. But we want to
jump all the way in. Renee, how many leaders fear
(01:16):
that letting go means losing control? And when did you
realize that releasing control was the very thing that allowed
you to grow as a leader.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Wow? Good, Hello, Maurice, Thank you so much for having
me on the show. I'm not sure if we're going
to be aired in the morning or in the afternoon,
but whenever it is, I'm just failed to be here.
One of the things that I have discovered with our
clients and said several of them, I'm going to say
probably seven out of ten have a problem with letting go.
(01:51):
And there's so many reasons for that. Some of it
could be because they suffer from perfectionism. Some of it
could be because they fear there's a fear of allowing
someone else into their personal business. Some of them could
feel like they're losing control because if someone else has
(02:15):
this information or someone else x on their behalf, then
there is something like some sort of stigma or some
sort of negativity associated with that particular activity. There's many
reasons that leaders have a problem with letting go, and
one of the first things I encourage them to do
(02:37):
is get to the source of what that is. What
is that that keeps them from letting go, Because it's
deeper than just handing over a calendar or an inbox
or asking somebody to handle your travel arrangements. It goes deeper.
It's a whole lot deeper. And once they do that
(02:58):
internal work, they discover what that is, they deal with it,
fix it, turn it around. That's when they're going to
start to feel the freedom that comes with letting go.
There is true freedom and letting go.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I hear you, well, a lot of times we're not
taught how to let go, you know, especially when you're
starting a business, or you know, you're a new parent,
whatever it is. Hey, this is your baby. You don't
want the wrong information out there. You don't want no
one teaching your baby the wrong behaviors, all those types
(03:43):
of things. So we hold on so tight. So because
we're taught that innately and taught that, you know, how
do we let go, especially if it's so embedded in
us down the line.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
One of the things that's important to do is to
let one thing at a time, something small, something minor,
something that if something happened, the world would not end,
like something that depictable, like something you can handle, like
if it went awry for some one reason or another.
(04:18):
More times than that, it won't go awry when you look.
Brought on the right person to your team to delegate
this information too. So that is important is making sure
that you bring on the right team member. You've done
the right vetting and making sure that their values aligned
(04:39):
with yours, that they have the right skill set, that
they have the right background, that they're the best match
for you. And when you delegate that one thing to them,
then it's easier to delegate something else. Once they have
repeatedly and consistently done that thing well well, without mistakes,
(05:02):
with in a timely fashion, with professionalism, over and over again,
then you start to build trust. Once that trust is built,
then it's easier to add on one more little thing
that won't end the world. So you want to keep
on adding on these little things until you get comfortable.
(05:25):
It's important for you to develop a level of comfort
with this person because you're letting them into a space
that no one else is privy to. Right this could
be new territory for you. New territory is often scary territory,
and so when you allow yourself to feel a fear
(05:46):
and do it anyway and work through that within yourself
with your person, then you'll discover not only that freedom
that comes, but also the ability to delegate even better quicker,
because as you'll realize, Maurice, that not only is this
person capable, but they are. They end up being a
(06:09):
strategic partner for you. They end up being that person
you can hand things off to, you can delegate to,
and so you don't have to carry the whole load
by yourself. If you are a solopreneur or an entrepreneur
without a large team, you'll want somebody that can share
this load. Because you're not an expert in everything. You
(06:32):
are an expert in doing what you do. They are
an expert in doing what they do. And when you
allow them the opportunity to operate in their gifts, then
you're being a blessing to them. And it's a great
relationship that develops and just continues to grow.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Renee like, you keep giving them so much information that
I'm not sure which way to go because there's so
many parts to that. First, how in the world can
I trust somebody again if I wasn't taught that, because
that's not again. I'm an introvert Renee, you know, and
I want to hold on to the as much power
as I can. And because of that, that all I
(07:15):
think that shows my weakness in certain places and spaces,
and I don't because I am the leader. I think
I need to show that I am the smartest person
in the room. You know, we get caught up in
those type of traps as well, So how would I
get over those type of hurdles of you know, because
I am the leader, I have to be the one
(07:37):
that knows everything right.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Well, if first of all, if you are the smartest
person in the room, you need to change rooms because
you are never gonna grow being the smartest person in
the room. You need to surround yourself with other people
who know more than you, who have been through more
than you, who have overcome more than you, who can
speak into you and get you to where they are,
(08:01):
which is, you know, hopefully where you want to be.
So being the smartest person in the room isn't a
good thing. So first of all, recognize that and then
understand that there is a challenge that we all have.
Not everybody is an extrovert. Not everybody is just so
(08:22):
free flowing with their information. Some people keep things very
guarded into the chest and have made a habit of it.
Recognize it as a habit. And when you're trying to
break a habit, it takes twenty one days, is what
I've heard. Twenty one days to break a habit, and
so you keep on doing the things that are uncomfortable
(08:44):
for you for twenty one days and not major things though.
Again I'm going back to the baby steps, baby stepping
one little thing until you get comfortable, because you have
to get sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Once you get sick and tired of being sick and
tired and carrying this whole heavy load by yourself, you're
(09:07):
going to say, something's got to give. How does it give?
You give it to somebody else? You let it.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Again, these are emotional barriers that I haven't dealt with.
You know, I don't understand totally my emotional intelligence. I
haven't dealt with it all the way, you know, all
these little components that you're referring to, you know, Renee,
I don't know how to deal with that. So how
do I get over these personal barriers? Because these things
are really holding me back? And I noticed that even
(09:37):
as a leader, when I talk to my team or
whatever it is, I'm so stand offish because I haven't
dealt with that. I don't want and also I may
not want to get too close to these individuals because
I want to again, keep that superiority, identity. So so
(09:57):
how do I break those emotional barriers.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
One of the things I think is so I can relate.
So this is why I can speak so freely on
this because I have been here, done this, and I've
done the work. So I get it. Trust me when
I tell you I get it. And one of the
things that helped me to overcome the same situations is
by surrounding myself with the community of people that helped
(10:24):
to speak into me and to help me identify what
the root of these issues are. Sometimes it even to
personal counseling, Like I had to get a therapist and
they had to help me get to the root of
what that is that keeps me from feeling keeps me
feeling like I have to be the one in control.
I have to be the leader. I'm the one who
(10:45):
has to be the boss. I have to be the
one to tell everybody what to do, and everybody has
to just do what I say. And my way is
the right way, and it's my way or the highway.
So I mean, I had a lot to work hard,
and so one that started to break down, and I'm
(11:06):
a woman of faith, and so I took I did
a lot of communicating with my Bible study group and
we prayed a lot. That may be what works for
you or somewhere that worked for me. There are other
communities professional development organizations that have mentorship groups that get
(11:27):
together and you partner up with someone else who is
where you want to be, or seek them out. There's
an amazing organization called Kaba that I'm associated with that
is all about excellent and elevating one another and working
together to build what it is that we're looking for
(11:50):
and making a difference in our communities and in our
lives and building that generational wealth. And so it's organizations
like that you can partner with it to somebody there
who can help you know, you can have these frank
conversations with and say, look, this is what I'm dealing with.
You know, you gotta be a little vulnerable, You have
(12:10):
to be a little transparent. You have to kind of
open yourself up a little bit to let somebody in
and not feel like that's a weakness. You have to
overcome that mindset that that's a weakness. It is not
a weakness, because once you can be real with yourself,
then you can start to be real and more truly
authentic and transparent with your team. And the more transparent
(12:34):
you are with your team and authentic with your team
that you are, the closer knit that team becomes, and
the more they will want to do for you because
they realize you're just a guy that's okay.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
And so I'm gonna dig a little deeper because Renee,
I did some research. I come prepared, and so the
there there, I listened to another on another podcast, and
you share your personal story of some things you had
gone through as a teenager, right, and you're welcome to share,
(13:09):
but I'm just gonna give the premise of it. And
because of you saying that you're a woman of faith
or whatever it might be, sometimes whatever you might have
gone through as a kid, and then people look it
down upon you because of whatever challenges we did back
in the day. And so now that also brings up
some type of wall where I don't know how to
(13:32):
trust because the adults in my life, the mentors in
my life look down upon me now and now I'm
a pariah or whatever it might be. You know, So
when how do you deal those real life experiences that
affects you as a leader moving forward? Because I'm looking
(13:54):
down upon, especially in a religious organization. Possibly.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Wow. Well, thank you for bringing this up, because I
have shared this on other shows and I don't share
it often. What you're referring to is the fact that
I graduated from high school at sixteen years old. And
when I graduated from high school at sixteen, I also
graduated with a one month old son, and as a
(14:21):
teen mom, there were these stigmas associated and statistics associated
with teen motherhood parenthood that if you are a teen parent,
then you're going to end up on welfare and be
a burden on society. And then once you're on welfare,
that's going to be your way of life, and you're
(14:42):
going to be a part of the system for forever,
and you're going to be just a burden. And so
my mom, bless her heart, I love her to death.
She always said to me before this happened. She said,
you can do anything you put your mind to, and
just be Because you now have this child does not
(15:03):
mean that your life is over. It just means your
life is going to be harder, but harder never hurt anybody.
It will make you strong and you will be resilient.
You will still be successful you will still make something
of yourself. And it wasn't like she presented it like
an option. So I really thank her for that because
(15:34):
it was because I kept hearing those words over and
over in my head that this does not define me,
This particular life situation does not define me and who
I am and what I'm capable of. So I took
all of that intestinal fortitude that I had and I
(15:55):
went and I applied for jobs, and I ended up
getting a very well paid job working for the State
of Wisconsin during the day and a even better paying
job at night working for Wisconsin Bell Phone Company. And
I was able to get my own apartment and take
care of my son for his entire first year we
were not on welfare. But then I missed all his
(16:19):
first and so that's a whole nother story of the
sacrifices that you make when you make these innerviows of
what you're going to do to avoid being another statistic.
So anyways, long story short, I ended up marrying his father,
and we ended up on welfare and coming from low
(16:42):
income housing food stamps, going to the food pantry at
the church, trying to just put enough food on the
table was all of those resources were available to me
that I used just for that purpose to help me
get off of us. So that even though I didn't
(17:02):
have a welfare check coming in, I still had my
wages from my jobs that I was working, and I
still had you know, food stamps or whatever. Either way,
it was temporary. It wasn't a lifestyle. It wasn't and
which is what I saw going on all around me
and those communities of low income. Sometimes all you see
(17:23):
is poor people being poor and doing things that keep
them poor. I did not want to be poor. I
wanted more for my life. And so because of that,
I continue to excel and surround myself with older people
who had been through some things who could teach me
some things that will help me get to where I
(17:45):
wanted to go. And that's what I did, year after
year after year after year. And then I did eventually
go to college and graduate with a college degree. My
kids left home and I had all this time on
my hands, and I decided to start a bit business.
So that's how it all works.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
So what for those that are listening, how would you
explain the role of trust, Because sometimes because of that stigma,
we have a hard time trying to trust a person
a situation, whatever it is, especially when we're facing a
challenge or a crisis. So, so how do you talk
(18:26):
to someone talk them through that process of building trust
and understanding that that role, how important that role really
is to get you to the next level.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Right, So actions speak louder than words. So when someone
can show you that they are trustworthy, you can believe them,
believe what you see, especially when they do it over
and over and over again. Because when we partner with
an executive, we understand that they've been through some things.
(18:58):
They may be traumatized by a pass experience where somebody
did them wrong or something in whether it's personal or professional,
and they may struggle. We are completely aware that this
situation exists in people's lives, and we empathize with them
and we understand them, and so we walk this journey
at their pace as they developed this trust. And we
(19:23):
have a particular client who struggled with the same thing
and it took some time. I'm going to say probably
a good six to eight, maybe even nine months before
he was able to let go of a few things,
and because he held so much to the chance. But
once he did, and our team member who supported him,
(19:46):
was able to be there for him when he needed her,
you know, you know, they have a schedule and that
sort of thing. But she was always there. She never
let him down. She was always there, and so he
came to rely on that and depend on that. And
the more he relied on it, the more he depended
(20:08):
on it, and the more she was there and she
showed up and didn't let him down, that trust starts
to develop.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
And so I think, as I'm listening to you, it
makes me think of what type of systems was someone
need to have in place in order for them to
develop that trust and to follow a process, you know,
so that way they can start to let go in
those situations where they can start to let go of
the control, that ego, whatever it is that's stopping them
(20:39):
from being This is just a pure example of a
one hundred dollars a week organization to now a million
dollar a month, you know situation. So what type of
systems do you think or do you recommend for someone
to develop so they can get over those humps.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
So it's super important to have a communication system. So
whether that is a touch base every morning by text,
where your schedule tech on your phone that your assistant
sends to you and says, here, this is your lineup
for today. Let me know if anything changes or you
need to make any adjustments, or it is a weekly
(21:17):
communication that you all have where you assign a bunch
of things and then by the next week when you
all get together, it needs to get done. And then
you get together and you check in and all those
things are done, and then you assign some new stuff.
Every person has their own style and way of communicating.
When you are communicating with your assistant on a regular basis,
(21:41):
whatever regular looks like for you, then that helps you
create the systems that you need internally to not only
release but to move forward the needle of your business.
Because one of the things that we love to do
is check in with our clients and say, hey, what's
(22:02):
going on for this week? Not only this week, but
what do you have coming up the next month, the
next two months, the next three months. Where do you
want to be by the end of this quarter. And
so once you share with us and we give you
that opportunity to think that through and you share that
with us, we then then keep you on track and say, hey,
(22:25):
you know you're making this decision to do this right now.
But what about when you said this, how is this
going to impact that? You know? So that's the level
of assistance that you get when you when you partner
with a company like mine or executive he now that
that are thought partners with you to help you get
(22:46):
to your next level and help you scale and growth.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
And so this was the great segue because I listened again,
I did my research and listen to you how you
started your organization. You know that you know, you trust
it in yourself. You bet on yourself, but a lot
of that had come from your past, like you know,
your experiences. So it wasn't like you just pop it
(23:11):
out of thin air, you know, because sometimes we don't
value where we've been. We don't value the conversations we
might have had or the daily task that you know,
there's sometimes we don't value that because we don't always
get that from our leaders. We don't understand that value. So,
so can you explain to the listeners what encouraged you
(23:35):
to start your organization?
Speaker 3 (23:38):
So when I I love that term bet on yourself,
because when when the odds are against you and you're
kind of you know, people are saying, oh, well, you'll
never amount to anything. Here we are this teen mom,
and and you know all you're going to be is
this burden on society. First of all them fighting words, I.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Was like no.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
And so maybe it was just my stubborn personality that
made me say this, Like I said, does not define me.
I'm going to bet on myself. I'm going to make
sure that whatever I do, I am the absolute best
at it and that you will be hard pressed to
find somebody better at this than me. So as I
(24:28):
continued gaining skills and knowledge and being given opportunities, stretch,
opportunities to prove myself, then that just made me even
more valuable to my employer at the time, because I
was working in corporate America, and I took all of
(24:48):
those experiences, all the good experiences where I met the goals,
I met the objectives, all the bad experiences where I
may have fallen short, and did some assessment and figured
out what did I do, what should I have done differently?
And all of those experiences, piled on top of the other,
(25:09):
created the foundation that I needed as I was building
this business from way back then and so and when
my clients started coming and they started telling me what
a difference it was making in their lives to have
me as part of their team, and they kept telling
their friends about the service they were getting. We eventually
(25:32):
became too much for me to handle by myself, and
I was working just as many hours in the evening
on my business as I was during the day for
my day job. And so when you're burning the candle
at both and something's bound to suffer. And I was
raised with a very strong work ethic and a high
standard of excellence, and when things are not perfect and
(25:55):
things don't turn out the exact way that I have played,
then I know that something's got to get And so
that's when I brought on my own first virtual assistant.
And it was from then that I realized the difference
that having a virtual assistant in my life made, like
it was night and day, like I could finally breathe.
(26:18):
And that led to my ability to lead, because now
I have somebody that I'm responsible for right and giving
them work and following up, so I'm practicing what I'm preaching.
And so it just makes sense that when you bet
on yourself and you allow yourself to be taken care
of that's when the magic happens, and that's when things change,
(26:43):
and that's when the business starts to grow.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
There's something that you said though, in that there's no
one better than you, right, that mentality. A lot of
times we don't have that confidence in ourselves understand that
because we are our authentic selves. There is no one
(27:06):
better than me because of me, No one could be
better than me at me being me than me, right,
you know. And and so when we start an organization,
we're working our nine to fives where apparent, whatever the
situation might be, we're bringing our best selves in that
moment because you know, we can't be perfect one hundred
(27:27):
percent of the time. Some people try, but we can't
be right, you know. But you know, but I think
that no if everyone had that mentality that hey, you
know what I am one hundred percent you're you know,
I qualify to be in this position, I own this
(27:48):
position or whatever it is. Because a lot because again
confidence kind of you know, throws us off and based
off of personal history. Again, like I said, because I've
had some supervisors that just did not pour back into me,
and that kind of tore me apart in we're seeing
it doing employee reviews and I thought I did a
(28:11):
great job over the last six months, and now I
feel bad, you know. And so I think that's something
that a lot of times we don't have that mentality
because we don't get that feedback in that manner, right right.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
I hear you, I absolutely hear you. And sometimes when
we're getting those performance reviews in corporate America that we
may they we may have blind spots that we're not
aware of. I had a blind spot that I wasn't
aware of, and I had a boss who was kind
enough to care enough to tell me about these blind spots.
(28:52):
And he said to me, because he said, you know, Renee,
you come in and you know you're working with your
team members and you're all polished and professional, and you
got your degrees, and you walk in and you and
the error in the room just changes. And he said,
but you get what you need, but you're killing the
(29:15):
soldiers along the way. And so he's like, you're being
a bull in a china shop and I'm like, what
are you talking about, and he said, yeah, you you
you are walking around like the world revolves around you,
and people need to stop what they're doing to give
you what you need for me. And he said to me,
(29:37):
I'm not of that important and neither are you. Stop it,
stop it, and if you don't change, then maybe this
isn't the job for you. And so when he presented
that to me, first of all, I was mad. I
was like, I'm just here to do a job. I'm
not here to make friends. I'm not here to try
(29:57):
to you know, be everybody's b here. I'm here to
do a job and do it well. And he's like, yes,
you are here to do a job, and you do
do it very well. But along the way, you need
to develop relationships with people because that is going to
be what helps catapult you to the next level. Oh, Maurice,
(30:22):
he might as well have said, you're gonna have to
jump off the cliff and the Grand Canyon. And I
was like, there's absolutely no way I want to do this.
I don't. I don't, I don't want to develop relationships
with people. But there were no truer words I said,
(30:42):
because this was so unfamiliar to me. This is such
new territory, and I didn't know how to do this
because you know, I'm all about business, business, I'm not
caring about your cat you know, I'm going to both
about the business. So he said, take a personal interest
(31:04):
in people. That will help make you a good leader.
Take a personal interest in people. And I said, okay,
how do I do that? He says, Ask people about
their family, Ask people about their weekend, how do things go?
Ask people you know what's going on and what they
have planned and all the things, and remember what they say.
(31:25):
Listen and pay attention to what they say so that
when you get back to them you can ask them
about it. I was so aggravated to have to do this.
Oh my word, I promise you. This was so hard
for me because it was a some this may come
naturally for some people to do, not me, and what
(31:50):
it was a growth opportunity for me. And over the
course of two years, I practiced this practice taking an
interest in other people. I practice listening to what other
people had to say. I practice asking questions about their lives.
(32:12):
And at first it was so robotic, like I couldn't
that's about what they said. I was like, okay, let
me say this. Okay, now I got to remember that. Okay. Anyways, Anyways,
that whole experience prepared me for developing the absolute best
team in the world of assistance with executive help now
(32:36):
and our team often tells me, Renee, you make it
easy to work for you. We want to you succeed,
We want to see this company succeed. We want to
be a part of something great because of how you lead.
You lead because and you show that you care about
each and every one of us, and I genuinely do,
(32:59):
truly do. And it makes a difference. It absolutely makes
a difference. But if it were not for that boss
who told me that I was a bull in a
china shop and I had to change, I wouldn't be ready.
I wouldn't have been able.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
To And I see, I think that is part of
my point of being confident versus egotistical, you know, because
sometimes when we're in our ego, no one could tell
us anything different, right you know? Now, granted, do you
think that your your confidence in that moment was so
(33:35):
damaged that you didn't try, that you didn't want to
do something different? Look at how because you were still Hey,
I'm still Renee. He just asked me to tweak something
real quick. But now look at where you are now,
where it has even taken you to a whole nother level.
Where I'm still Renee, you know. And so instead of saying, hey,
(33:57):
you know what, I'm renee. You can't tell me anything else.
I'm already per But that's the ego talking right right exactly.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
And so he actually revealed something that was already in
me that I didn't even know I had. I have
had other bosses, on the other hand, who have tried
to tear me down and tell me I wasn't any
good and that I was terrible at what I do
and they were just evil people. And because I'm a
(34:28):
I prayed and I was like, Lord, what is this?
Why are they treating me this way? Why are they
talking to me this way? Why are they trying to
make me feel less than or like I'm not capable
of doing what I've been doing for the past twenty years.
And again, it was about developing a relationship with that
(34:49):
person to try to understand where they're coming from and
what their perspective is and why they are treating me
this way. I took the time to ask a question,
why do you behave this when I do this? Why
do you do that? And we actually had to sit
down and this boss explained to me why she did
(35:09):
what where she came from, what her experience had been,
and all of these things, and we were able to
have a mature conversation about her behavior and how she
was treating me, and it worked for a while. Then
we had to get hr involved. But anyways, that's a
(35:29):
whole nother story. But yeah, it was bad. It was
really bad, and it really did My confidence did take
a hit because of it. But I knew I was
supposed to be there and there was nothing that anyone
was going to be able to do to move me
out of there before it was time for me to go.
(35:50):
And I was determined to continue to go through the
fire with this person and come out victorious on the
other end, even though I got some wounds in scars.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Yeah, and it happens to the best of us. But
I think this lends itself to full circle of our
conversation of now you're speaking to this one supervisor manager
and you have to find out you have to speak
to her, find out her background, understand what walls that
come up in her life that might have you know, Hey, Renee,
(36:24):
this is the reason why I'm treating you because I
might have gone through this fire before and I didn't
want to be burned again, or I saw it happen
to someone else and I don't want to happen to me.
Whatever the influences are, you know, So we have to
understand or give some grace to that person's past, whatever
they might have been through, whatever it is, and not
(36:46):
hold them hostage to that because everyone has opportunity to
have life spoken into them for them to grow, you know.
And I think that's something key that you're talking about.
Like I said, full full circle, whole conversation in a nutshell,
that's how I'm taking what you're saying right now.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Yes, absolutely, because you'll discover as they're explaining themselves and
where they've been and their past experiences, that this is
just a hurt person. They are hurting, they are insecure
about something, they may have a complex about something. And
it's your own wisdom and discernment that comes into play
(37:28):
as you're having this conversation. And when you want what
my boss said, my bull in a China shop boss said,
is to seek to understand, not to be understood. And
when you seek to understand, that will help you navigate
the situation. So I took the time to seek to understand.
(37:52):
I then made it easier for me to deal with
her nonsense and overlook a lot of her faults and
shortcomings and even come to her defenses needed a time
or two. And so it was. It just was one
of those things that kind of had to play itself out,
but it was for a purpose. It all served a
(38:15):
greater purpose. It wasn't just for me to grow in
that moment, but it was to prepare me for what
was to come for our future.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Nice. See, wow, this is why I said those three
words earlier. Courageous you know you are because those type
of things we don't we don't know, you know, strategic, empowering,
you know, I think you've you really embodied those three words.
So those three words that I start off with was
really explaining you.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Thank you so much, let me tell you, And that
has been good. I just have to give him the
glory because I could not have done it on my
own strength and without my community of women in my
Bible study to continue to pray incessantly over the situations
and that I have strength and wisdom to make it
(39:09):
through each day.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Nice. Nice, So, Renee, I appreciate you coming on the show,
but I do have a question that I ask all
my guests before they leave, is my would you rather question? So, Renee,
would you rather choose three doors or a forking road? Now,
there's no right or wrong answer, and think outside the box.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
M would I'd rather choose three doors or a fork
in the road. I would say a fork in the road, the.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Fork in the road and wild fork in the road.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
I think I would choose a fork in the road
because I have a fifty to fifty chance of getting
something great.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Okay, all right, cool, cool, I mean look nice, simple
and sweet.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
Other ways you have three three chances like here.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Well, Rene, I beg you very much for coming on
the show, So please share where people can find you,
your podcast, your website, all that type of stuff.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
So we're at executive helpnow. Dot org is our website
and tell us all about our history and our service
offerings and different things like that. Were also on Facebook,
LinkedIn Instagram, all the socials at executive help Now. I
also have a YouTube channel called Brenet Speaks. I would
(40:33):
love everyone to like, share and subscribe. And yeah, those
are the most places. And some people may be wondering
if they're ready for an assistant, and so if they
text the letters v A n OW for VA now
to one eight six six nine four three three five
(40:54):
nine one. They'll get a cute little freebie in the
email to help them think through the process so that
they can make a decision on when what a virtual
assistant can do for them.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
Nice, nice, nice, Renee. You know, I thank you very
much for bringing so much clarity and courage to this
conversation today, and thank you for reminding us that leadership
isn't about holding things tighter, but it's about building trust,
empowering teams, and creating freedom. So I think it very
much for coming on the show.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Thank you, This has been great.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Sure, thank you, and of course all of you that
are out there, you know, I would like really would
like for you to take the time and identify this
coming week, you know, just a decision, a task or
something that you've been wrestling with, you know, so I
would like for you to try to release it this week,
and in addition to that, build a small trust ritual,
whether it's a feedback loop or weekly check in or
(41:48):
decision filter. So and if need being text, Renee, so right,
But I thinkan y'all very much for listening today, and
I will talk to y'all just a little bit later.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
Thanks for listening. Follow Maurice Chisholm on social media to
stay connected and check back weekly for new episodes until
next time. That will never work, or will it
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