August 26, 2025 • 31 mins
Are you dealing with challenging people in your life? Trying to understand specific relationship dynamics? Wanting to choose wisely when it comes to friendships, romantic relationships, and business partnerships? In today’s podcast, Ashley deep dives into the concept of discernment, what it means, and why it’s not the same as judgment. When we cultivate discernment in our life we safeguard ourself from chaos in friendships, business partnerships, and in our personal life. Relax and listen while I explain how discernment helps you to navigate complex people and situations, especially when dealing with narcissists, emotionally unavailable partners, toxic friendships, and or business partners with hidden agendas. You’ll learn how to distinguish truth from manipulation, care from control, and authentic connection from falsehood.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're in a good place now you are listening to
Perspectives with Ashley Burgess. Welcome back to the Ashley Burgess Podcast.
Let's talk about discernment today. I think it's a very
important word. It's something that we need to adapt into
our lifestyle. And I want to give one caveat prior
to jumping in. I agree that judgment of other people
(00:25):
is not a good thing. It's not something you want
to go around doing, putting other people down, being petty,
judging them. It's just not good because it doesn't help
you in any way. It doesn't make your life better
in any way. If anything, it just gets in the
way of your quality of life and it takes up
time when you could actually be doing something in your
life to push your life forward in a more positive way. However,
(00:50):
discernment is very important when you're dealing with certain people.
And those specific people I'm talking about are the people
that that you connect as your best friends, the people
that you trust with everything, the people you tell them everything.
That's one group that you need to have discernment. Another
(01:12):
group is the person that you end up having a
romantic sexual relationship with need to have discernment and The
last group that you need to have discernment with are
people that you go into business with, people that you
start companies with. You need to have discernment because you're
gonna be working with them. You have to like their ethics,
(01:36):
their morals, the way that they present themselves, all those
types of things, and lifestyle as well, because remember, if
somebody's lifestyle is not the same as yours, as far
as you know, they're not getting sleep, they're not taking
care of themselves, maybe they're using drugs or alcohol. That
could be a problem on the bottom line when it
comes to business success. And so discernment when we look
(01:59):
at multiple definitions, first is the ability to judge well,
and again I don't like that word because I don't
think discernment is judgment. I think it's about seeing things
in a clear way. Another definition is the perception in
the absence of judgment and able to view to obtain
a spiritual guidance or understanding about a specific relationship. And
(02:25):
this is tough because we're not talking about like these easy, breezy,
you know, simple type situations. We're talking about very complex,
very complex relationships. Very complex because a deep relationship that
you've had with somebody for a very long time is
(02:48):
not simple. Okay, There's lots of details, there's lots of
moving parts, there's lots of things. There's past, present, future,
there's their past history, your past history.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
All these things go into it.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
And so in order to really have a clarity of
mine about the relationship, we have to take many things
into account. We have to have the ability to see
to understand, and that also takes like a non judgmental piece,
(03:19):
because you have to be able to see things without
being colored a certain way. Like so, you know a
lot of our relationships, whether it's a really long term
friendship you really care about somebody it's been in your
life for a long time, or a romantic relationship. You
know both of those relationships. Especially when you've known somebody
for a very long time, it can be challenging to
(03:42):
see the situation clearly sometimes because you're listening to that
person tell you how they feel or what they're doing,
and sometimes that could be honest, sometimes that could be biased,
and sometimes that could be a straight up lie. And
it's very hard to understand things because remember it, sometimes
(04:04):
when people lie to us, they're not just lying to us,
they're also lying to themselves, okay, And that's one of
the hardest things that I think humans have trouble, especially
when there's not a lot of self awareness. They're lacking
self awareness, or there's some sort of impairment as far
as learning impairment or alcohol or drug impairment that gets
(04:28):
in the way of them really being able to connect
with their feelings, emotions, true needs, true desires, true things,
and being honest, because sometimes that person may not even
be honest with.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Themselves, which is really hard to have.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Discernment because you know, it's one thing to be able
to see things and to take everything in consideration, not
expecting something, not assuming something, being able to see things
more clearly, stepping back from judgment. Having all that, that's
very important in order to be able to make wise decisions.
(05:03):
We have to also recognize like subtle differences or subtle
aspects that.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Don't seem to add up.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
In a lot of these relationships, there'll be things that
you don't understand, things that don't add up, things that
don't make sense. You know, it's like the you know,
it's like the dangling thing out there. It's dangling out
there in the wind. We don't really understand what it means.
And it's interesting when you've had situations where people are
talking about things and you don't really get it and
you don't really understand and you don't really see what
(05:34):
it is, and then eventually somebody says something and you
put all the pieces of the puzzle together and you go, oh,
my god, that makes perfect sense. But it's hard because
when you don't have all the information, it's exactly right.
You don't have all the information, you can't make a decision.
And and it's hard to being able to make a
(05:56):
wise decision when you're dealing with someone that may or
may not be being honest with themselves. And that is
a very hard thing to discern. And I think discernment
is one of the most important things you could possibly
have right now. I've met some people in the last
few years where my gut instinct, in the very beginning,
(06:18):
my gut instinct was to watch out, to leave, to
move on, okay, And I remember questioning, oh, you know,
I'm making a snap judgment, what have you? But I've
realized that gut to some degree is right as long
as it's not clouded with other people's decisions, with other
people's judgments. See the problem that a lot of people
(06:40):
have is they get their information or they don't even
realize they're getting information, but they're being told stuff from
someone that has an agenda okay. And so this is
one of the biggest aspects is looking at everyone's agenda
in the situation. So I've realized that when someone comes
to me about somebody and says something, okay, I'll listen,
(07:09):
but I always find it interesting because I wonder why
this is said. Okay, what's the purpose of telling me?
What am I supposed to feel from it? Do they
want me to feel a certain way if this really happened,
Did it really happen? Did this situation really take place?
Because usually they're offering you a negative thing that somebody
(07:31):
has done, okay, and you're having to kind of accept that.
And I think one of the most foolish things that
we can do is is hear those types of things
and to immediately take sides. I find that that's a
really not a good thing to do, because when you
take sides, sometimes you're taking the wrong side. Sometimes you
need to be out of it. It has nothing to absolutely
(07:54):
do with you. All you do is you create more
havoc in your life because you're taking a side that
you don't need to take, okay, and that that's something
that you got to be really careful with. And so
I've realized that if somebody comes to me about some
sort of gossip, especially when I'm not asking for it, one,
it's not solidicially, you know, it's not solicitated.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
I don't really want it.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
It's not it's not like I'm you know, it's not
like I'm like, oh, I really want this gossip. It's like, okay,
this came out of nowhere. Why am I being told this?
Or I also watch out when somebody is constantly talking
about somebody else constantly in a negative format. Uh, I
know that that person's wanting means to not like that person,
and a lot of people will take that side. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
(08:36):
I don't like so and so. We don't really even
know so and so at all. So anyway, so it's
interesting you'll find that in a lot of narcissistic type people,
where they try to turn people on other people to
create these other people and triangulate these other people to
create this nasty dynamic. So nobody is really watching what
(08:58):
the narcissist is doing the nar is getting away with
all this stuff, triangulating, you know, having fighting amongst everybody,
getting their way with this person in that, changing the
conversation over here, lying to this person over there, getting
this person to.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Believe this lie.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
So you know, they're they're trying to keep everybody at
bay anyway, because they don't want anybody talking, right that.
You know, narcissists are great about triangulating. They love to
triangulate people, right, because that's what they do is they'll
have stuff going on over there, and if you try
to get the information or the honest truth, they're not
going to give it to you. They're gonna also make
you look bad to the people that they're trying to
(09:38):
triangulate you with, so that those other people don't want
to talk to you. They don't want to have a
conversation with you. They see you as the enemy, they
see you as the threat, and you've been made out
to be that way, you see.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
And again this is.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Important to have discernment because sometimes, and it's very interesting,
It's happened to me a couple of times in my
life where somebody said something about me and I can
remember the last time, very very well. And uh, they
said that I was against a group of people, which
I'm definitely not. And they said that to somebody when,
(10:11):
you know, and then that person took it and went
with it. And then later on it was I didn't
say anything to them. I let them go along with
whatever they thought. I'm not going to care what they
think about me. They're not paying needed for that. I
don't care. And they came and when this particular person
came up to me two years later and apologized to
me and apologized and told me exactly what had happened.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
And sometimes it can take years.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Sometimes it can take a lifetime, you know, because if
somebody's making you out to be mud, a lot of
people just jump on that bandwagon because that's just a
lot a lot of people want, don't have any discernment
at all. And two, a lot of people love the
concept of being a flying monkey. They love to serve
the narcissist, and you know, they just kind of fly around,
(10:53):
and the narcissist loves it because then they play the
victim with everybody, you know, the damsel in distress, whether
it's a man or a woman, and gay or straight,
they'll play this damsel in distress, and so you have
to be very well all the kind of the moving parts.
I've realized that some of the biggest aspects of life
is noticing the very fine, small details, and that's very
(11:20):
discerning to look at the fine details, especially in very
complex and i'd call these hyper complex situations. So the
more complex the situation is, the more details there are,
the more details there are, the more data points there are,
the more data points there are, the more you can
(11:40):
connect the dots. It's a very interesting dynamic and you
also have to be very super aware. My advice to
have complete discernment is, you know, stop smoking, we stop
drinking a bunch of alcohol, don't do any other drugs,
be careful what you take, watch out for pharmaceuticals. You
need to be on your p's and ques. If you
(12:01):
want to have actual discernment, you gotta have clarity. I mean,
people underestimate clarity all day long. And it's funny because
you find people that are that are so abusive of
pharmaceuticals or drugs or alcohol, they actually believe their nonsense.
They believe their truth, they believe their falsehood, they believe
(12:23):
they're manufactured falsehood to be true. They believe it, and
I find that very interesting and say they'll go to
their death over this falsehood that is not true. And
so being able to see things clearly, because if you're
having a lot to drink, if you're out of control,
if you're on a bunch of pharmaceuticals that are changing
(12:43):
your brain chemistry, if you're on illegal drugs changing your
brain chemistry, if you're on a combination of all three
or four, yes, you're not going to have any discernment,
and you might make judgment because there's a big difference
between judgment and discernment.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
You might make a judgment.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
It's not judgment about somebody because you're in a bad
mood or you feel funny, because it's really the drugs
that are impacting.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
You're not really understanding what's really happening.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
That can be a very interesting dynamic in its own
And so that's why you have to be careful. When
I'm trying to explain discernment to my clients, I said,
first of all, we have to have clear head, we
have to have clarity, and it can't just be for
one day, can't just be for one week. This has
to be a lie. This has to be a chosen
lifestyle and maybe you quit drinking a year ago. Whatever,
that's great, go on, go for it. But you have
(13:27):
to have clarity because these complex, hyper complex situations that
are really hard to put in a perspective and to
put your finger on it can be very challenging, okay.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
And that's where I feel is.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
An interesting dynamic because there can be all these different
things going and then remember you're hearing sides to the
stories or this or that, or emotions or whatever, or
comments and things, and you're trying to size everything up.
Sometimes it's based on just action alone. Because I've realized
(14:03):
that a lot of people say things, they'll color it
the way they want it to be. Color Now, if
they want to be the victim, they're gonna play the victim.
That's just the way they're gonna be. We know that, okay.
And then they're always going to play and paint the victimhood.
So anything you get out of them is going to
be victim based. So you can't buy into it. You
gotta watch it. Are they really the victim? What are
they really going through? How are they acting? You know,
(14:25):
somebody that is very entitled and demanding is not the victim.
We don't have a victim here. We have something very different.
We have somebody wearing a mask playing a victim. Right,
this is discernment. Okay, this is when it gets really
kind of nitty gritty. We have to distinguish between specific things. Now.
(14:46):
For example, you may have somebody in your life that
you've been trying to connect with or spend time with,
but it seems like they can never do that. And
that's fine sometimes because maybe that person is super overworked,
over busy, dealing with family dynamics, dealing with the health
of a father, or what have you, going through all
that and the only way you really know is by actions,
(15:08):
is by what they're doing. People can talk a big
game again, right, but you can't just judge and get oh, well,
they just don't have time for me, because they might
have a schedule that's way more challenging than yours, or
might not be true at all. But it's like being
able to see the differences, seeing the action. When somebody
really does care about you, even if it's a small gesture,
(15:30):
they will do what they can to show you that
they're thinking of you. Now, somebody can say and play
a big game and talk a big game and not
show up. But their actions usually show that they're putting
somebody else first, maybe someone else second, and maybe your
third in line, fourth in line, fifth in line, maybe
you're not even in the top ten. Okay, you should
(15:50):
be able to see that for what it is. And
I know that we tell ourselves lies. Oh but they
have this or that, or you know, they're taking care
of their sick mom or their six dad or and
that's fine, But then you see the actions because if
they're over there all the time, yes that's true, that
is the case. But if they're not, they're barely over there,
that's just an excuse that they're telling you right, because
(16:11):
they got something else that they got to deal with.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
You know, it's interesting too.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Because discernment really helps you to see the difference between
what's right and wrong, what's right and wrong. And there's
no there's no one word, there's no black and white.
So we're not going with black and white thinking here,
because black and white thinking is used when somebody has,
(16:38):
you know, an inability to have any empathy, inability to
see any gray, and an inability usually to want to
hear that other side perspective perception, right. I think it's
very interesting because I think there's degrees of you know,
right and wrong. I think there's reasons why people do things.
(17:00):
But again, there's some things that you can see when
somebody's doing something that's not right, and you see that
and you go along with that, that's okay, right then,
But do you think that that's ever gonna come your way?
Discernment would probably say, hey, if that person's saying that
and lying to other people, they're probably gonna allow to
(17:23):
me too, okay. Or if that person's over there talking
behind everybody's back all the time and talking about how
everybody's this or that, or she's fat, or he's a loser,
or this is a person's doing that, they're gonna talk
about you too. Don't think that you're above it. And
that's one thing that.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
A lot of people fall short.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
They fall in the chasm of this issue. They fall
into this chasm of oh, well, I'm really their real
friend or I'm above that. They wouldn't talk about me. No,
don't give yourself this ego narcissistic ego boost. Okay, Honestly,
think about things clearly, if somebody's talking about everybody in
(18:02):
the room, they're talking about you too. If somebody's talking
badly about everybody they meet behind their back, they're talking
about you too.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
So the other discernment piece, too, is when you first
meet somebody, Remember, most people are going to be on
their best behavior. They're going to put you on a pedestal.
Some of them don't even know because they are so
on self aware that they're doing it. Some of them
are doing it as a game. Some of them are
playing you. And you have to distinguish between actual care
(18:33):
attention versus I'm trying to get all the information from
you so that I can use it later as forever ammunition.
I'm trying to get you to be addicted to me,
So even if I treat you really, really badly, you're
still going to keep me back. You're still going to
keep coming back to me because you have this addiction
to the beginning of the relationship when I gave you
all this attention.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
And you know, I recently created a video.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
On YouTube the other day and it's coming out I
think in a couple of days if it hasn't already,
and it's about you know, when people do things and
they claim a reason like, Hey, I'm going to not
take this job in this other state, uh, because I'm
gonna stay here with you and be there for you.
Or I'm not going to go back to school and
(19:17):
get my doctorate because I need to help you with
your mother or father or whatever.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
The dynamic is.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
It's it's these fake it's these fake concepts that they're
bringing up.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
It's it's a falsehood.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Okay, So they show you that they're going to basically
give of themselves, lose a part of their life, right,
They're going to lose a part of their life. They're
going to lose something that they want. They're you know,
they're gonna they're gonna take the hit in order to
help you. And that's great, but oftentimes that's not at
(19:53):
all what happens. Oftentimes when somebody says they're going to
do something for you, you know, the sacrifice that they're
going to make, which I have actually deemed as fake sacrifices.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
These are fake sacrifices.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
They are sacrifices that they couldn't do anyway there was
no job, or they didn't really get accepted into the college.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
You know.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Recently, you know, I had a client that we realized that,
you know, they had been in a situation in a
relationship where somebody had to get multiple abortions, and we've
realized that that was not their child anytime.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Okay, in the moment.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
You feel guilty because this person is saying, I sacrificed
all this for you, and now here you are doing
this and that, and so they keep you in this
sad state of mind where you feel like you have
to repay this person every moment of the day, like
I have to repay them, I have to take care
of them, I got to do everything because this person
(20:53):
made the sacrifice a long time ago. And you'll hear
about this sacrifice, by the way, the fake sacrifice, the
false sacrifice, we'll be talked about for the rest of
your life as long as you stay with this person,
because they have to use something over your head to
keep you in check. And so people will go along
with these false sacrifices, believing they're real and never doing
their due diligence to say, was that really my kid?
(21:15):
Or did they ever get accepted into that college? Or hey,
did they ever pass that test when they were able
to take it? Were they even offered that job? And discernment,
and I hate to say it is doing that extra mile.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
And also discernment is.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Not allowing somebody to make that sacrifice in the first place.
It's fighting about that sacrifice. It's asking why would you
ever make this sacrifice?
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Why would you do it?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
It's about not taking it for face value. And it's
also about intrinsically saying no, you need to go take that,
because I realized anytime that somebody does sacrifice, they're gonna
make you pay for it because they're gonna be upset
with it. And if it's a fake sacrifice, huh, things
are gonna be revealed very quickly when you push them
into taking that and not sacrifice for you. We also
(22:03):
need to distinguish and discern between good and evil, truth
and falsehood. Okay, so there's a lot of people out
there acting like they're good. You gotta really look. Devil
is in the details literally literally. So if the devil's
(22:23):
in the details and I gotta figure this out, I
bet things are gonna look real good even if they're not.
And the more that the picture is painted that it's
gonna be real good and everything's gonna be great, and
this is gonna be awesome for you. That's always a
red flag. It's always a red flag. You know, anything
that's too true, that's too good to be true, is
(22:45):
probably too good to be true. Think about it, like,
nobody from Nigeria's is giving you twenty million dollars by
email without knowing you and didn't even spell your name right,
sounds good in the moment, You're like, whoa, my ship
has come in. Okay, now what do I have to do?
I only have to send them fifteen hundred dollars, Okay.
(23:06):
Devil's in the details. But see, discernment says, hmm, never
met me. Uh huh. I don't know them. I don't
have any family in Nigeria, and so they want to
give me how many million for fifteen hundred? Oh that's logical, Yeah,
that's real logical. But see, that's obviously an easy thing
to discern now not for some people. Yes, I know,
(23:27):
and I'm sorry that some of you have fallen for
that trap. And I know we've all fallen for some
scam and it's trying not to get upset with yourself.
We've all fallen for a scam. But this is the
reason to even have more discernment right, it's not to
fall for that other scam, not to fall for someone
else's lies, not to fall for someone else's scam that
(23:47):
they want you to believe so that you can fund
their lifestyle. And again, remember I'm not saying that everybody
has agendas. I think everybody wants to be happy and
wants to be content and want us to do what
they want to do in life.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
And I like that.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
But I do think you have a lot of folks
out there that it's more than that. It's an agenda,
it's a direction. And so with discernment, you can tell
when somebody has an agenda because they're always pushing it forward,
even if it seems a little odd off base, they're
always pushing that, always pushing it forward. That's what I
(24:29):
want us to be aware of. That's what I want
us to understand, Okay, That's what I want us to see,
is the pushing of that forward to really understand what's
going on, okay. And so discernment means you can see
through the details, you can analyze the small things. And
I'm not talking about sitting there for hours being like
you know, private Detective Cia. You don't have to do
(24:52):
that in your life, But a lot of times the
red flags are right there, and the only reason you
don't see it is because you want something different. You
want the fairy tale, you want your created narrative, you
want your vision of what you want, which none of
it holds reality, none of it is based in reality.
(25:15):
And that's what I want you to start thinking about.
Is are there some relationships or one relationship in my
life that I am trying to augment or change or
make it into something that it's not. Does this person
really have my best at heart? Does this person even
have what's best for them at heart? Now, remember that
(25:35):
the absolute most scary volatile people that you can be
around is someone that doesn't care about their future, their life,
doesn't care. It's someone that doesn't take care of themselves,
would rather stay up all night do whatever, and not
(25:57):
pay attention to moving their life forward. That person has nothing.
They also have nothing to lose, and you will always
lose by being around them. And you have to wake
up because discernment shows you something's not right, This is
not right, and you start collecting those data points. And
for some of you, the data points are coming so fast,
(26:19):
I mean, you could make I mean this is crazy.
You just open your eyes, it's right there for you.
And then some of you gotta really look deeper. You
got to really go within too and get rid of
any fairy tale or illusion or image that you have
in your mind of this relationship, because that is what
is getting in the way of you seeing the truth
(26:42):
of the situation, the truth, because a lot of times
the truth is right there. You just don't like the truth.
The truth is not what you want. The truth is
not going to keep this relationship going. The truth is
going to show the truth. The truth is going to
out the situation, literally out whatever the situation that is.
(27:06):
And you know, it's interesting because one of the hardest
things with discernment you're gonna have is trying to figure
out if somebody's being honest with themselves. And then that's
when it comes back to your discernment saying, Okay, do
I want to keep asking these questions and trying to
figure this out, or have I had enough and I'm
ready to move on, even though I haven't had it
(27:27):
come out of their mouth what I wanted to hear.
And those are questions that we all have to deal with.
But in any relationship, whether it's a really close friend
that you tell everything too. These people need to be
at the highest level of good. You need to be
at the highest level of good. Okay, whether it's somebody
you're in a romantic relationship with, or you're engaged, married,
(27:49):
or a sexual romantic relationship, you need to be aligned
with somebody that has good qualities, that's there for you,
that's a quality person that's being honest with you, you know,
for your safety, for security, but also for the fact
of you know, being honest and sharing with you how
they feel. But sometimes in some of those relationships, just
as in friendships, you're only getting that one side as
(28:12):
well as if you're working in business with somebody, Yes,
in a business relationship you need to separate personal from business. However,
if somebody's personal life is jeopardizing the business, you have
to step in and have discernment. And all these things
are very important. And so this is the word of
the day, This is the word of the century. This
(28:33):
should be your word all the time, is discernment. It's
not about judgment. Judgment is usually very wonky. It's based
on oh, you know, most people judge other people for
the stuff that they're actually doing. Most people judge other
people for what they're doing, you know, and it's interesting
because they project right, and these non self aware people
(28:53):
project on other people and believe that they're the saint
and everybody else's the narcissists. That's really sad because somebody
that's not self aware is and really at a certain
by a certain age, is never going to be self aware.
And those are the people you got to run away
from as fast as possible. I hate to say it,
because a non self aware person will bring themself and
(29:15):
everybody down. And usually it's non self aware people can
get out of the fire, but then everybody else gets
the collateral damage. So be careful, have discernment. If you
haven't already, please subscribe to my YouTube channel.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Go to YouTube.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
You can do it on your phone. Put in Ashley Burgess.
It'll find my YouTube channel. You can put in Ashley Burgess,
b e er Ges or life Coach Ashley Burgess. We're
getting close to two hundred thousand subscribers. Would love to
have you as a subscriber, and you can let me
know what kind of content you're interested in, and we
put up content, you know, at least twice a week.
(29:51):
On narcissism, cluster b borderline, discernment, judgment, you know, marriage,
you know fixing the marriage, roommates, situation, all kinds of stuff,
very important stuff that can really make your life better
and easier and you can have more knowledge around a
situation that might be causing havoc in your life. Also
check out the website Ashleyburgess dot com Ashley B. E
(30:12):
Rges dot com. I also have several therapists that work
with me. So if you'd like to schedule a coaching
or therapy session, just go to Astleyburgess dot com, click
on that coaching section and set up an appointment right
then and there. And so in the end today remember discernment.
That should be the word. I don't want anybody tattooing
that on their body, but it's really that important. And
(30:33):
if you have to tattoo it, you have to. But
that is the key word in every relationship, in every situation,
and that will keep you above water and it will
keep you wise. And sometimes you just got to listen,
you gotta watch, and you got to see people's actions.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
This has been the Ashley Burgess Podcast, originally the Live
Your True Life Perspectives podcast.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Thank you for tuning in and tune in.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Next week we post on Spreaker Wednesday Mornings, which goes
out on everything from iHeart to Apple podcasts. Okay, don't
forget to live your true life.
You're in a good place now you are listening to
Perspectives with Ashley Burgess. Welcome back to the Ashley Burgess Podcast.
Let's talk about discernment today. I think it's a very
important word. It's something that we need to adapt into
our lifestyle. And I want to give one caveat prior
to jumping in. I agree that judgment of other people
(00:25):
is not a good thing. It's not something you want
to go around doing, putting other people down, being petty,
judging them. It's just not good because it doesn't help
you in any way. It doesn't make your life better
in any way. If anything, it just gets in the
way of your quality of life and it takes up
time when you could actually be doing something in your
life to push your life forward in a more positive way. However,
(00:50):
discernment is very important when you're dealing with certain people.
And those specific people I'm talking about are the people
that that you connect as your best friends, the people
that you trust with everything, the people you tell them everything.
That's one group that you need to have discernment. Another
(01:12):
group is the person that you end up having a
romantic sexual relationship with need to have discernment and The
last group that you need to have discernment with are
people that you go into business with, people that you
start companies with. You need to have discernment because you're
gonna be working with them. You have to like their ethics,
(01:36):
their morals, the way that they present themselves, all those
types of things, and lifestyle as well, because remember, if
somebody's lifestyle is not the same as yours, as far
as you know, they're not getting sleep, they're not taking
care of themselves, maybe they're using drugs or alcohol. That
could be a problem on the bottom line when it
comes to business success. And so discernment when we look
(01:59):
at multiple definitions, first is the ability to judge well,
and again I don't like that word because I don't
think discernment is judgment. I think it's about seeing things
in a clear way. Another definition is the perception in
the absence of judgment and able to view to obtain
a spiritual guidance or understanding about a specific relationship. And
(02:25):
this is tough because we're not talking about like these easy, breezy,
you know, simple type situations. We're talking about very complex,
very complex relationships. Very complex because a deep relationship that
you've had with somebody for a very long time is
(02:48):
not simple. Okay, There's lots of details, there's lots of
moving parts, there's lots of things. There's past, present, future,
there's their past history, your past history.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
All these things go into it.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
And so in order to really have a clarity of
mine about the relationship, we have to take many things
into account. We have to have the ability to see
to understand, and that also takes like a non judgmental piece,
(03:19):
because you have to be able to see things without
being colored a certain way. Like so, you know a
lot of our relationships, whether it's a really long term
friendship you really care about somebody it's been in your
life for a long time, or a romantic relationship. You
know both of those relationships. Especially when you've known somebody
for a very long time, it can be challenging to
(03:42):
see the situation clearly sometimes because you're listening to that
person tell you how they feel or what they're doing,
and sometimes that could be honest, sometimes that could be biased,
and sometimes that could be a straight up lie. And
it's very hard to understand things because remember it, sometimes
(04:04):
when people lie to us, they're not just lying to us,
they're also lying to themselves, okay, And that's one of
the hardest things that I think humans have trouble, especially
when there's not a lot of self awareness. They're lacking
self awareness, or there's some sort of impairment as far
as learning impairment or alcohol or drug impairment that gets
(04:28):
in the way of them really being able to connect
with their feelings, emotions, true needs, true desires, true things,
and being honest, because sometimes that person may not even
be honest with.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Themselves, which is really hard to have.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Discernment because you know, it's one thing to be able
to see things and to take everything in consideration, not
expecting something, not assuming something, being able to see things
more clearly, stepping back from judgment. Having all that, that's
very important in order to be able to make wise decisions.
(05:03):
We have to also recognize like subtle differences or subtle
aspects that.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Don't seem to add up.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
In a lot of these relationships, there'll be things that
you don't understand, things that don't add up, things that
don't make sense. You know, it's like the you know,
it's like the dangling thing out there. It's dangling out
there in the wind. We don't really understand what it means.
And it's interesting when you've had situations where people are
talking about things and you don't really get it and
you don't really understand and you don't really see what
(05:34):
it is, and then eventually somebody says something and you
put all the pieces of the puzzle together and you go, oh,
my god, that makes perfect sense. But it's hard because
when you don't have all the information, it's exactly right.
You don't have all the information, you can't make a decision.
And and it's hard to being able to make a
(05:56):
wise decision when you're dealing with someone that may or
may not be being honest with themselves. And that is
a very hard thing to discern. And I think discernment
is one of the most important things you could possibly
have right now. I've met some people in the last
few years where my gut instinct, in the very beginning,
(06:18):
my gut instinct was to watch out, to leave, to
move on, okay, And I remember questioning, oh, you know,
I'm making a snap judgment, what have you? But I've
realized that gut to some degree is right as long
as it's not clouded with other people's decisions, with other
people's judgments. See the problem that a lot of people
(06:40):
have is they get their information or they don't even
realize they're getting information, but they're being told stuff from
someone that has an agenda okay. And so this is
one of the biggest aspects is looking at everyone's agenda
in the situation. So I've realized that when someone comes
to me about somebody and says something, okay, I'll listen,
(07:09):
but I always find it interesting because I wonder why
this is said. Okay, what's the purpose of telling me?
What am I supposed to feel from it? Do they
want me to feel a certain way if this really happened,
Did it really happen? Did this situation really take place?
Because usually they're offering you a negative thing that somebody
(07:31):
has done, okay, and you're having to kind of accept that.
And I think one of the most foolish things that
we can do is is hear those types of things
and to immediately take sides. I find that that's a
really not a good thing to do, because when you
take sides, sometimes you're taking the wrong side. Sometimes you
need to be out of it. It has nothing to absolutely
(07:54):
do with you. All you do is you create more
havoc in your life because you're taking a side that
you don't need to take, okay, and that that's something
that you got to be really careful with. And so
I've realized that if somebody comes to me about some
sort of gossip, especially when I'm not asking for it, one,
it's not solidicially, you know, it's not solicitated.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
I don't really want it.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
It's not it's not like I'm you know, it's not
like I'm like, oh, I really want this gossip. It's like, okay,
this came out of nowhere. Why am I being told this?
Or I also watch out when somebody is constantly talking
about somebody else constantly in a negative format. Uh, I
know that that person's wanting means to not like that person,
and a lot of people will take that side. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
(08:36):
I don't like so and so. We don't really even
know so and so at all. So anyway, so it's
interesting you'll find that in a lot of narcissistic type people,
where they try to turn people on other people to
create these other people and triangulate these other people to
create this nasty dynamic. So nobody is really watching what
(08:58):
the narcissist is doing the nar is getting away with
all this stuff, triangulating, you know, having fighting amongst everybody,
getting their way with this person in that, changing the
conversation over here, lying to this person over there, getting
this person to.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Believe this lie.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
So you know, they're they're trying to keep everybody at
bay anyway, because they don't want anybody talking, right that.
You know, narcissists are great about triangulating. They love to
triangulate people, right, because that's what they do is they'll
have stuff going on over there, and if you try
to get the information or the honest truth, they're not
going to give it to you. They're gonna also make
you look bad to the people that they're trying to
(09:38):
triangulate you with, so that those other people don't want
to talk to you. They don't want to have a
conversation with you. They see you as the enemy, they
see you as the threat, and you've been made out
to be that way, you see.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
And again this is.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Important to have discernment because sometimes, and it's very interesting,
It's happened to me a couple of times in my
life where somebody said something about me and I can
remember the last time, very very well. And uh, they
said that I was against a group of people, which
I'm definitely not. And they said that to somebody when,
(10:11):
you know, and then that person took it and went
with it. And then later on it was I didn't
say anything to them. I let them go along with
whatever they thought. I'm not going to care what they
think about me. They're not paying needed for that. I
don't care. And they came and when this particular person
came up to me two years later and apologized to
me and apologized and told me exactly what had happened.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
And sometimes it can take years.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Sometimes it can take a lifetime, you know, because if
somebody's making you out to be mud, a lot of
people just jump on that bandwagon because that's just a
lot a lot of people want, don't have any discernment
at all. And two, a lot of people love the
concept of being a flying monkey. They love to serve
the narcissist, and you know, they just kind of fly around,
(10:53):
and the narcissist loves it because then they play the
victim with everybody, you know, the damsel in distress, whether
it's a man or a woman, and gay or straight,
they'll play this damsel in distress, and so you have
to be very well all the kind of the moving parts.
I've realized that some of the biggest aspects of life
is noticing the very fine, small details, and that's very
(11:20):
discerning to look at the fine details, especially in very
complex and i'd call these hyper complex situations. So the
more complex the situation is, the more details there are,
the more details there are, the more data points there are,
the more data points there are, the more you can
(11:40):
connect the dots. It's a very interesting dynamic and you
also have to be very super aware. My advice to
have complete discernment is, you know, stop smoking, we stop
drinking a bunch of alcohol, don't do any other drugs,
be careful what you take, watch out for pharmaceuticals. You
need to be on your p's and ques. If you
(12:01):
want to have actual discernment, you gotta have clarity. I mean,
people underestimate clarity all day long. And it's funny because
you find people that are that are so abusive of
pharmaceuticals or drugs or alcohol, they actually believe their nonsense.
They believe their truth, they believe their falsehood, they believe
(12:23):
they're manufactured falsehood to be true. They believe it, and
I find that very interesting and say they'll go to
their death over this falsehood that is not true. And
so being able to see things clearly, because if you're
having a lot to drink, if you're out of control,
if you're on a bunch of pharmaceuticals that are changing
(12:43):
your brain chemistry, if you're on illegal drugs changing your
brain chemistry, if you're on a combination of all three
or four, yes, you're not going to have any discernment,
and you might make judgment because there's a big difference
between judgment and discernment.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
You might make a judgment.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
It's not judgment about somebody because you're in a bad
mood or you feel funny, because it's really the drugs
that are impacting.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
You're not really understanding what's really happening.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
That can be a very interesting dynamic in its own
And so that's why you have to be careful. When
I'm trying to explain discernment to my clients, I said,
first of all, we have to have clear head, we
have to have clarity, and it can't just be for
one day, can't just be for one week. This has
to be a lie. This has to be a chosen
lifestyle and maybe you quit drinking a year ago. Whatever,
that's great, go on, go for it. But you have
(13:27):
to have clarity because these complex, hyper complex situations that
are really hard to put in a perspective and to
put your finger on it can be very challenging, okay.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
And that's where I feel is.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
An interesting dynamic because there can be all these different
things going and then remember you're hearing sides to the
stories or this or that, or emotions or whatever, or
comments and things, and you're trying to size everything up.
Sometimes it's based on just action alone. Because I've realized
(14:03):
that a lot of people say things, they'll color it
the way they want it to be. Color Now, if
they want to be the victim, they're gonna play the victim.
That's just the way they're gonna be. We know that, okay.
And then they're always going to play and paint the victimhood.
So anything you get out of them is going to
be victim based. So you can't buy into it. You
gotta watch it. Are they really the victim? What are
they really going through? How are they acting? You know,
(14:25):
somebody that is very entitled and demanding is not the victim.
We don't have a victim here. We have something very different.
We have somebody wearing a mask playing a victim. Right,
this is discernment. Okay, this is when it gets really
kind of nitty gritty. We have to distinguish between specific things. Now.
(14:46):
For example, you may have somebody in your life that
you've been trying to connect with or spend time with,
but it seems like they can never do that. And
that's fine sometimes because maybe that person is super overworked,
over busy, dealing with family dynamics, dealing with the health
of a father, or what have you, going through all
that and the only way you really know is by actions,
(15:08):
is by what they're doing. People can talk a big
game again, right, but you can't just judge and get oh, well,
they just don't have time for me, because they might
have a schedule that's way more challenging than yours, or
might not be true at all. But it's like being
able to see the differences, seeing the action. When somebody
really does care about you, even if it's a small gesture,
(15:30):
they will do what they can to show you that
they're thinking of you. Now, somebody can say and play
a big game and talk a big game and not
show up. But their actions usually show that they're putting
somebody else first, maybe someone else second, and maybe your
third in line, fourth in line, fifth in line, maybe
you're not even in the top ten. Okay, you should
(15:50):
be able to see that for what it is. And
I know that we tell ourselves lies. Oh but they
have this or that, or you know, they're taking care
of their sick mom or their six dad or and
that's fine, But then you see the actions because if
they're over there all the time, yes that's true, that
is the case. But if they're not, they're barely over there,
that's just an excuse that they're telling you right, because
(16:11):
they got something else that they got to deal with.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
You know, it's interesting too.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Because discernment really helps you to see the difference between
what's right and wrong, what's right and wrong. And there's
no there's no one word, there's no black and white.
So we're not going with black and white thinking here,
because black and white thinking is used when somebody has,
(16:38):
you know, an inability to have any empathy, inability to
see any gray, and an inability usually to want to
hear that other side perspective perception, right. I think it's
very interesting because I think there's degrees of you know,
right and wrong. I think there's reasons why people do things.
(17:00):
But again, there's some things that you can see when
somebody's doing something that's not right, and you see that
and you go along with that, that's okay, right then,
But do you think that that's ever gonna come your way?
Discernment would probably say, hey, if that person's saying that
and lying to other people, they're probably gonna allow to
(17:23):
me too, okay. Or if that person's over there talking
behind everybody's back all the time and talking about how
everybody's this or that, or she's fat, or he's a loser,
or this is a person's doing that, they're gonna talk
about you too. Don't think that you're above it. And
that's one thing that.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
A lot of people fall short.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
They fall in the chasm of this issue. They fall
into this chasm of oh, well, I'm really their real
friend or I'm above that. They wouldn't talk about me. No,
don't give yourself this ego narcissistic ego boost. Okay, Honestly,
think about things clearly, if somebody's talking about everybody in
(18:02):
the room, they're talking about you too. If somebody's talking
badly about everybody they meet behind their back, they're talking
about you too.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
So the other discernment piece, too, is when you first
meet somebody, Remember, most people are going to be on
their best behavior. They're going to put you on a pedestal.
Some of them don't even know because they are so
on self aware that they're doing it. Some of them
are doing it as a game. Some of them are
playing you. And you have to distinguish between actual care
(18:33):
attention versus I'm trying to get all the information from
you so that I can use it later as forever ammunition.
I'm trying to get you to be addicted to me,
So even if I treat you really, really badly, you're
still going to keep me back. You're still going to
keep coming back to me because you have this addiction
to the beginning of the relationship when I gave you
all this attention.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
And you know, I recently created a video.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
On YouTube the other day and it's coming out I
think in a couple of days if it hasn't already,
and it's about you know, when people do things and
they claim a reason like, Hey, I'm going to not
take this job in this other state, uh, because I'm
gonna stay here with you and be there for you.
Or I'm not going to go back to school and
(19:17):
get my doctorate because I need to help you with
your mother or father or whatever.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
The dynamic is.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
It's it's these fake it's these fake concepts that they're
bringing up.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
It's it's a falsehood.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Okay, So they show you that they're going to basically
give of themselves, lose a part of their life, right,
They're going to lose a part of their life. They're
going to lose something that they want. They're you know,
they're gonna they're gonna take the hit in order to
help you. And that's great, but oftentimes that's not at
(19:53):
all what happens. Oftentimes when somebody says they're going to
do something for you, you know, the sacrifice that they're
going to make, which I have actually deemed as fake sacrifices.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
These are fake sacrifices.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
They are sacrifices that they couldn't do anyway there was
no job, or they didn't really get accepted into the college.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
You know.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Recently, you know, I had a client that we realized that,
you know, they had been in a situation in a
relationship where somebody had to get multiple abortions, and we've
realized that that was not their child anytime.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Okay, in the moment.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
You feel guilty because this person is saying, I sacrificed
all this for you, and now here you are doing
this and that, and so they keep you in this
sad state of mind where you feel like you have
to repay this person every moment of the day, like
I have to repay them, I have to take care
of them, I got to do everything because this person
(20:53):
made the sacrifice a long time ago. And you'll hear
about this sacrifice, by the way, the fake sacrifice, the
false sacrifice, we'll be talked about for the rest of
your life as long as you stay with this person,
because they have to use something over your head to
keep you in check. And so people will go along
with these false sacrifices, believing they're real and never doing
their due diligence to say, was that really my kid?
(21:15):
Or did they ever get accepted into that college? Or hey,
did they ever pass that test when they were able
to take it? Were they even offered that job? And discernment,
and I hate to say it is doing that extra mile.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
And also discernment is.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Not allowing somebody to make that sacrifice in the first place.
It's fighting about that sacrifice. It's asking why would you
ever make this sacrifice?
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Why would you do it?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
It's about not taking it for face value. And it's
also about intrinsically saying no, you need to go take that,
because I realized anytime that somebody does sacrifice, they're gonna
make you pay for it because they're gonna be upset
with it. And if it's a fake sacrifice, huh, things
are gonna be revealed very quickly when you push them
into taking that and not sacrifice for you. We also
(22:03):
need to distinguish and discern between good and evil, truth
and falsehood. Okay, so there's a lot of people out
there acting like they're good. You gotta really look. Devil
is in the details literally literally. So if the devil's
(22:23):
in the details and I gotta figure this out, I
bet things are gonna look real good even if they're not.
And the more that the picture is painted that it's
gonna be real good and everything's gonna be great, and
this is gonna be awesome for you. That's always a
red flag. It's always a red flag. You know, anything
that's too true, that's too good to be true, is
(22:45):
probably too good to be true. Think about it, like,
nobody from Nigeria's is giving you twenty million dollars by
email without knowing you and didn't even spell your name right,
sounds good in the moment, You're like, whoa, my ship
has come in. Okay, now what do I have to do?
I only have to send them fifteen hundred dollars, Okay.
(23:06):
Devil's in the details. But see, discernment says, hmm, never
met me. Uh huh. I don't know them. I don't
have any family in Nigeria, and so they want to
give me how many million for fifteen hundred? Oh that's logical, Yeah,
that's real logical. But see, that's obviously an easy thing
to discern now not for some people. Yes, I know,
(23:27):
and I'm sorry that some of you have fallen for
that trap. And I know we've all fallen for some
scam and it's trying not to get upset with yourself.
We've all fallen for a scam. But this is the
reason to even have more discernment right, it's not to
fall for that other scam, not to fall for someone
else's lies, not to fall for someone else's scam that
(23:47):
they want you to believe so that you can fund
their lifestyle. And again, remember I'm not saying that everybody
has agendas. I think everybody wants to be happy and
wants to be content and want us to do what
they want to do in life.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
And I like that.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
But I do think you have a lot of folks
out there that it's more than that. It's an agenda,
it's a direction. And so with discernment, you can tell
when somebody has an agenda because they're always pushing it forward,
even if it seems a little odd off base, they're
always pushing that, always pushing it forward. That's what I
(24:29):
want us to be aware of. That's what I want
us to understand, Okay, That's what I want us to see,
is the pushing of that forward to really understand what's
going on, okay. And so discernment means you can see
through the details, you can analyze the small things. And
I'm not talking about sitting there for hours being like
you know, private Detective Cia. You don't have to do
(24:52):
that in your life, But a lot of times the
red flags are right there, and the only reason you
don't see it is because you want something different. You
want the fairy tale, you want your created narrative, you
want your vision of what you want, which none of
it holds reality, none of it is based in reality.
(25:15):
And that's what I want you to start thinking about.
Is are there some relationships or one relationship in my
life that I am trying to augment or change or
make it into something that it's not. Does this person
really have my best at heart? Does this person even
have what's best for them at heart? Now, remember that
(25:35):
the absolute most scary volatile people that you can be
around is someone that doesn't care about their future, their life,
doesn't care. It's someone that doesn't take care of themselves,
would rather stay up all night do whatever, and not
(25:57):
pay attention to moving their life forward. That person has nothing.
They also have nothing to lose, and you will always
lose by being around them. And you have to wake
up because discernment shows you something's not right, This is
not right, and you start collecting those data points. And
for some of you, the data points are coming so fast,
(26:19):
I mean, you could make I mean this is crazy.
You just open your eyes, it's right there for you.
And then some of you gotta really look deeper. You
got to really go within too and get rid of
any fairy tale or illusion or image that you have
in your mind of this relationship, because that is what
is getting in the way of you seeing the truth
(26:42):
of the situation, the truth, because a lot of times
the truth is right there. You just don't like the truth.
The truth is not what you want. The truth is
not going to keep this relationship going. The truth is
going to show the truth. The truth is going to
out the situation, literally out whatever the situation that is.
(27:06):
And you know, it's interesting because one of the hardest
things with discernment you're gonna have is trying to figure
out if somebody's being honest with themselves. And then that's
when it comes back to your discernment saying, Okay, do
I want to keep asking these questions and trying to
figure this out, or have I had enough and I'm
ready to move on, even though I haven't had it
(27:27):
come out of their mouth what I wanted to hear.
And those are questions that we all have to deal with.
But in any relationship, whether it's a really close friend
that you tell everything too. These people need to be
at the highest level of good. You need to be
at the highest level of good. Okay, whether it's somebody
you're in a romantic relationship with, or you're engaged, married,
(27:49):
or a sexual romantic relationship, you need to be aligned
with somebody that has good qualities, that's there for you,
that's a quality person that's being honest with you, you know,
for your safety, for security, but also for the fact
of you know, being honest and sharing with you how
they feel. But sometimes in some of those relationships, just
as in friendships, you're only getting that one side as
(28:12):
well as if you're working in business with somebody, Yes,
in a business relationship you need to separate personal from business. However,
if somebody's personal life is jeopardizing the business, you have
to step in and have discernment. And all these things
are very important. And so this is the word of
the day, This is the word of the century. This
(28:33):
should be your word all the time, is discernment. It's
not about judgment. Judgment is usually very wonky. It's based
on oh, you know, most people judge other people for
the stuff that they're actually doing. Most people judge other
people for what they're doing, you know, and it's interesting
because they project right, and these non self aware people
(28:53):
project on other people and believe that they're the saint
and everybody else's the narcissists. That's really sad because somebody
that's not self aware is and really at a certain
by a certain age, is never going to be self aware.
And those are the people you got to run away
from as fast as possible. I hate to say it,
because a non self aware person will bring themself and
(29:15):
everybody down. And usually it's non self aware people can
get out of the fire, but then everybody else gets
the collateral damage. So be careful, have discernment. If you
haven't already, please subscribe to my YouTube channel.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Go to YouTube.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
You can do it on your phone. Put in Ashley Burgess.
It'll find my YouTube channel. You can put in Ashley Burgess,
b e er Ges or life Coach Ashley Burgess. We're
getting close to two hundred thousand subscribers. Would love to
have you as a subscriber, and you can let me
know what kind of content you're interested in, and we
put up content, you know, at least twice a week.
(29:51):
On narcissism, cluster b borderline, discernment, judgment, you know, marriage,
you know fixing the marriage, roommates, situation, all kinds of stuff,
very important stuff that can really make your life better
and easier and you can have more knowledge around a
situation that might be causing havoc in your life. Also
check out the website Ashleyburgess dot com Ashley B. E
(30:12):
Rges dot com. I also have several therapists that work
with me. So if you'd like to schedule a coaching
or therapy session, just go to Astleyburgess dot com, click
on that coaching section and set up an appointment right
then and there. And so in the end today remember discernment.
That should be the word. I don't want anybody tattooing
that on their body, but it's really that important. And
(30:33):
if you have to tattoo it, you have to. But
that is the key word in every relationship, in every situation,
and that will keep you above water and it will
keep you wise. And sometimes you just got to listen,
you gotta watch, and you got to see people's actions.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
This has been the Ashley Burgess Podcast, originally the Live
Your True Life Perspectives podcast.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Thank you for tuning in and tune in.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Next week we post on Spreaker Wednesday Mornings, which goes
out on everything from iHeart to Apple podcasts. Okay, don't
forget to live your true life.
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