October 8, 2025 • 32 mins
The loss of a pet to some people is just that, a loss of a pet. But for some of us the loss of a pet is the loss of a child. When you don’t have children, your dog or cat is your child. The connection and bond is strong and takes work, consistency, and dedication. Buddy has been with me for 15 years, he is my child. I have friends that have children and they do love their dogs but not to the same degree. The love for them is strong but not nearly as strong when they are your children. Many people don’t understand the bond, they have never experienced this type of bond with an animal. When a dog is your child and they pass to the spirit realm, it is like putting your first born in the grave. It is not like a mere passing of a nonhuman being. There is something that still exists within our society that deems dogs and cats as pets not our beloved family. Buddy’s body stopped working on August 22, 2025 and in this podcast I discuss my truth, emotions, and the feelings of losing Buddy. It’s time to have the real discussion of love and bond with our dog or cat. This podcast was recorded the morning after his body stopped working.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're in a good place now.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
You are listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome back live to the Ashley Burgess Podcast. The loss
of a pet to some people is just that it's
the loss of a pet, But for some people it's
a family member, for some a child. Especially when people
do not have children, their dog is their child. And
(00:32):
I believe that more and more people from around the
world are choosing not to have children for various reasons,
and this is becoming even more common. The connection that
a person has with their dog, if they choose to
and they take the time and they do everything they
need to do, is strong and it's powerful. But it
(00:56):
takes work, just like any other relationship, just like a marriage,
just like a friendship, just like raising a child. It
takes work, it takes consistency, it takes time. And Buddy
has been with me forever. I love Buddy. He's been
with me for fifteen solid years, and he is my child.
(01:21):
And it's interesting when you look at the situation and
I have friends that have children and they love their dogs.
I'm not saying they don't love their dogs, but it's
a different type of love. And I think everybody out
there listening right now understands. It's like, hey, you know,
when you have a dog, or for many people, a cat,
doesn't matter. That animal is not only a family member,
(01:46):
but it is one of the most important family members.
And I was telling a friend of mine the other day.
We've been great friends, best friends actually for a very
long time. We've known each other since middle school. And
he has two kids and two dogs, and he said,
you know, hey, you know, when something happens to buddy,
you know, you'll know, And I said, I will. I said,
(02:06):
but it's really hard because I think a lot of
times when we have kids, you know, the dogs, the
pets take you know, the back seat, which I guess
I can see that. And I said, and when you
don't have children, it's really a different story. It's like putting,
you know, your firstborn, you know, you know, putting them
in the grave. It's not an easy situation. And I
(02:30):
find it interesting because I think it's something that we
haven't really talked about. It's something that we don't necessarily embrace.
It's something that's hard to bring up. It's something that's
hard to give credence to. And I know that many
of you have dogs. You're a dog lover. Many of
you have a dog and that dog is your child
(02:51):
and you care very much about that dog. And I
know that many of you have lost dogs and it
has been heart wrenching and painful and challenging, and it
has been hard to talk with other people, hard to
have that connection. And I find it interesting because that
is a real challenge. I think that's something in our
society like deems the fact that that's a pet and
(03:14):
so it's not as important, which I find completely inappropriate
and completely wrong. And so on today's podcast, I really
wanted to talk about that. I want to talk about
the sincerity of an animal, the quality of an animal,
the christ energy of a dog, and specific and how
(03:34):
many of you have connected with that dog in your life.
And I guess this is a you know, a kudos
to you, a connection with you, because I think many
of us are out there where you're taking your dog everywhere.
Maybe you take your dog to work every day. You know,
you give your dog, you know, a car ride all
the time, taking them on walks, you know, tucking them in,
(03:55):
fixing their food, everything all the time.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
And a lot of people don't give you kudos for that.
They don't oh wow, you know.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
You know, because it's not a kid and it's not
so deemed normalized in our society. And so for all
of you that are doing that, I want to pat
you on the back. You're doing an excellent job. And
I think that we owe ourselves that. But one of
the most challenging situations is when a dog is not
doing well, when their body is giving out, when their
(04:25):
body is getting in the way of us continuing this
amazing friendship, this amazing connection, this amazing family, this amazing love.
And I just recently had that happen yesterday. I had
to experience that on a massive level, and I realized
(04:47):
that unfortunately, my best friend's body was giving out.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
My best friend in.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
All the world, who I saw every day, hung out
with every day, who I spent time with every day.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Couldn't do it anymore because he was in pain. And
that was hard.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
And I think that, you know, it was nice to
be surrounded at our vet clinic that we go to,
and we've been going to for a long time. It's
the only vet that Buddy's ever known, and adults knew the
same vet, and everybody was there with us, and it
was definitely opposite from the way that my previous dog
(05:37):
had to pass. It was a very challenging night with him.
It was.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
It was horrible.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
We had this great day, though, adults say, and I
had this great day his last day when he was in.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
That body to go do stuff. We had fun.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
We drove everywhere, We did all kinds of things. We
went everywhere, we did everything. He had a hamburger, he
had ice cream, all kinds of stuff, you know, and
we thought we were gonna do good. We thought we're
gonna be able to get through that night and maybe
get through another night. And it didn't happen. And my
veterinarian was out of town. He was out of town.
(06:10):
And even though I mean, you know, it's it's it's
after midnight, you know, but at the same point him
being in town would have been more of a comfort.
And so it was about one am, and and you know,
we headed over to the emergency clinic and Buddy was very,
very sick. He was throwing up blood at that time.
(06:31):
It started about an hour before, an hour and a
half before. We were just trying everything, just if there's
anything we can do. So we get over to the
emergency clinic and within about an hour told Say was
no longer in his body. He had moved on. But
we were sitting on that floor, on that concrete floor,
in a room that was somewhat dark, with people we
(06:52):
didn't know, and it was really really hard. And yes,
it's interesting because again my vet went out of town
and it was very triggering. He was telling me ten
days before, I'm gonna be going out of town on
this trip, and I was, Oh, I got really triggered,
and obviously for an obvious reason, because I knew what
(07:13):
was coming.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Down the pike, and I think many of us know
when things.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Are coming down the pike, when things are changing, when
things are augmented and you can see and you know
there's weight loss and there's food changes, and there's there's
breathing issues. And we did some scans and some things
like that, and we knew we had something, but we
we didn't go as far as to get a cat scan.
We got to the oncologist a few days ago and
they wanted to do a cat scan, and they had
(07:37):
to innovate him, which I didn't want to do because
he was already having some breathing issues and he was
already tired, he had some difficulties sleeping the night before,
and I just wanted to, you know, take care of
him and be there for him because it matters. And
they said, we can also do a biopsy, but we
would have to put him under you know, anna susy
to do that. And I didn't want to do that
(07:58):
to him either, because I said, okay, we can't. Let's
let's get him better. Let's let's get him feeling better,
Let's get him more comfortable. Let's get him in a
place where he can go through these tests and it's
not going to be so painful. We did a few
blood tests on top of the previous ones that we did.
We got some prescriptions as far as to two pills
to take, and we went home and you know, I realized,
(08:22):
I was like, Okay, you know, I'm gonna put this
off for a little while as far as these tests,
because you know, I knew that he had to get better,
he had to eat more. We had been eating so
well and things had been going good. We had some
ups and downs throughout the last few months, but things
had been very solid. I had gotten into a I
was like, literally was a cook. I was a constant cook,
so I cooked in the morning, cooked in the evening.
(08:44):
I was cooking in burgers. You know, he was eating pumpkin.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
You know. I was going to the whole foods.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
You know, I was making eggs when he didn't want
to eat that, you know, scrambled or over easy or
you know, it was like, dammit, whatever I thought he wanted,
we went for it. We finally got you know, in
a rhythm over multiple times. But then we went to
the on colleges in the night before we you know,
we were okay. That night we ate, We ate, and
(09:10):
I hadn't had a burger in about twenty years. Yes,
I don't eat it, and I wasn't really looking forward
to it, but I knew that if he was going
to eat, it was going to be off my plate.
So I remember, I made two actual sliders, just with
the roll, the Hawaiian roll, and I put a little
mayo on mine and none on his, and so I
put them both on one plate, and I took one
(09:31):
bite out of mine, and I said, oh, please, God,
don't give me dysentery, Oh please God. But I said,
I'm doing this for a reason. So I handed him
a bite and he ate it, and we sat there
by the couch and he sat on the floor because
he didn't feel good enough to sit on the couch,
and so I fed him and I ate, and he
watched me eat. Then he took another bite. He watched
me eat, and he took another bite, and he ate
(09:51):
that burger and we ate together, and I was like,
I heard my stomach going, you know, but I still
went with it because I knew it was the right
thing to do.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
You know.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
The next day things were okay, but I had, you know,
explained to my husband and my family, said, you know,
I think we just need to focus on the fact
that we don't know how long he's gonna be here
in this body.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
We need to be aware.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
And I have been trying to do as much as
I could, been trying to do as much as I
could to take care of to be there for him,
to be there for him and his time if need,
because he deserves it. He's my best friend. And so
you know, I wanted to make sure morning, noon, and night,
moving the bed around that he could sleep in, that
he was able to lay in. I moved it from
upstairs to downstairs, from downstairs to the office, from the
(10:35):
office to downstairs, from downstairs to the upstairs, in constant
formation that had been going on for a very long time,
making sure that he's constantly comfortable, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
And he looked great.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I mean, we were constantly spending time. The walks got shorter,
his ability to move around got shorter. But then eventually
he stopped really eating. I tried everything. I tried everything,
salmon to beef, to buffalo, to anything you can poss
we think of baby food, even mac and cheese. The
last food that buddy ate was some mac and cheese
(11:08):
that I got at Whole Foods. And I knew, you know,
I've never fed my dog cheese, certainly not macaroni. But
I had just bought some because I went and bought
some smart things for him that he didn't want to eat.
He had no desire to eat, not one thing that
I bought for him, not one thing. And so I said,
you know what, I'm gonna stick the fork in that
macaroni and I'm gonna hand him some I'm gonna put them,
(11:31):
and he certainly ate it. And so he ate the macaroni,
and I was wondering, maybe I should get some more,
you know, it's interesting. And when the rest of the
family got home late that night, you know, you know,
they tried to feed him again.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Didn't work.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
We tried to make some macaroni that didn't work, went
and got the macaroni from the same place.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
No go.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I knew that he wasn't feeling good. I knew that buddy,
the eater of all eaters. The prognosticators are pronosticators. If
he's not eating, he's not doing well. And he put
up a good show. He put up a good show.
When you look at him and the pictures that I
have from literally three hours before we had to let
(12:14):
him out of his body, you would never believe it.
It's like it's like getting ready and looking your best,
getting in the car and never coming back home. And
that's so hard. It's so hard because you don't even
think about that. We were going to go to the
vet yesterday morning for a shot, for a shot to
(12:39):
try to you know, help open up his lungs and
help him to breathe better, and also hoping that this
shot would help him to eat some more. And so
I was looking forward to it. I had a couple
of sessions with some clients early on in the morning,
and I said, hey, I'd already called everybody said, I'll
be there about eleven o'clock. And you know, I told Buddy.
(12:59):
I was like, Hey, we're gonna go to the vet.
We're gonna get this shot. Then we're gonna go in
the car. We're gonna drive around. And I already had
an idea of having a party for all his friends
on Saturday, a party of a celebration while he's still alive,
while he's still with us in this body.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I was like, this will be a great idea. He's
got so many friends.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I said, Hey, on Facebook, anybody that wants to visit Buddy,
you know, today or tomorrow, let me know, because let's
do it. He wants to see his friends. And so
I was like, you know what we're gonna do is
we're gonna do that. We're gonna first off, we're gonna
go We're gonna you know, drive around, do some errands.
We're gonna pick up some stuff for the party. I
wanted to pick up some CBD oil and see if
(13:40):
that might help him. I have a friend of mine
checking up on that CBD oil. You know, all this
stuff was going on. We had lots of things in
the mix. You know, we had a day plan. We
had a big day plan of activities in the car
and getting stuff done. So I got him in the car,
got him in the back seats. He's smiling. Things are good.
(14:01):
We drive to the vet's office once we've gone a
million times, and you know, and and and spent lots
of money. And I know many of you are definitely
understanding what I'm saying. It's part part of it.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Right.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
People talk about, oh, I can't believe that dog costs that.
It's like, well, the cost of that dog is only
going to go up one hundred thousand times with all
the vet bills and all the bills and all the
health stuff and the food and everything.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
You know.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
And but we do a lot of things for our pets.
We care about them. They're our family member. They're not
our pets. For some of them, there are child, there
are child. And so we get there and as we
pull in, I look down, you know, at the at
the clock on the on the on the car, and
I realize it's eleven eleven, And I was like, huh.
(14:51):
And I don't know if any of y'all think about
numerology or anything. But I was like, that's an interesting number.
I'm hoping we're just going in for the shot. I
just want to get a shot and head back out.
Maybe we'll get back out, you know, head out. And
it's interesting when I look back, I know it's been
a little bit more than twenty four hours, but when
I look back, I couldn't think past getting out of
(15:15):
that car. I couldn't think past it. I couldn't think
about anything else. I was on the phone with a
friend of mine and we were talking and I said, hey,
I got to get Buddy out of the car and
put you on speakerphone. So I'm picking him up, putting
him down, getting his little Lisa on, and we're heading
into the We're heading in to the BET's office, and
(15:38):
I remember we were walking. Everything was good, and then
all of a sudden, Buddy started slowing down, and I understood,
I slowed down, and I tried to help out and
I try to move him a little bit. Then he
slowed down even more. And there was a lady that
was looking at She goes, oh, yeah, hope, you know
you got it, little boy, You got it, little boy.
And I remember she was super cute and I was
trying to you know, we were going, but then he
(16:01):
got real slow. And then we got to the front
of the door and he started circling. He started doing
circles and then he fell out. I grabbed him right
before he hit the ground. And as we walked in
the door, and I'm holding him, and everybody looked at
me and asked if I'm okay. I said, no, he
needs help. They grabbed him, took him immediately into the
(16:23):
back where the er is. You know. They put me
in a room and I was I was very sad
and very scared, and I sat there and waited for
them to come then get me, and multiple people came
in that I knew, and I was happy to see them,
(16:47):
but I was scared, and I said, I want to
see buddy. And they said, you'll see buddy. You'll see buddy.
Don't worry. You'll see him. We'll come get you in
a little bit. You'll see him.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Don't worry.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
We just got to get him calm. And another person
came in and asked what kind of medication he had.
I said, he hasn't had anything today. Last night he had,
you know, one of the pills that they gave me
to give him. And then the next person said, they
have them on oxygen. And the next person came in
and I knew every one of these people and they're
very nice people, and I appreciate.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
All of them.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I don't know many of them for years. And another
friend came in and said, you got it. You've done
a lot and you've taken care of this dog and
he is an amazing dog. But it's it's time, actually,
you know, they want you to come on in and
talk with them, and you know, and so I went
in there and Buddy was on oxygen and he was
(17:41):
laying on a table cover with a blanket, and they
said it's time, and I said I would like to
spend some time with him, and they go, we can
keep him, you know, we can keep him okay here
for a little bit because we can't move him because
he doesn't have enough oxygen. And when I got in there,
his oxygen level apparently was sixty. You know, we had
(18:05):
done those x rays prior, and we did one X
ray and it didn't look great. It looked like there
was some sort of growth and it's like an additional
part of the lung and they talk about it's funny.
It's like, you know, us humans don't seem to have
these additional parts of their lungs, but apparently dogs do.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
And so it was a part of a lung that.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
You could actually if you had to let go of
it and you had to cut it out, you could.
And so that was a great thing because I was thinking, Okay, well, hey,
that's not that bad, right if we have to go
in there and do surgery. And we talked about it,
and but we didn't know you could, you know, because
of the x ray and the eld shine. It wasn't
it wasn't a cat skin. It wasn't enough to really know.
And then you really have to do a biopsy, so
(18:45):
it could have been also pneumonia as well as fluid.
And so we took the protocol, the pneumonia protocol, and
went that direction, thinking that might be the answer. We
did another x ray and all this was this was
you know, several weeks back, but this one looked a
little more cloudier and a little more problematic. And so
(19:05):
I walk back there and but he's on his oxygen
tank and you know, his oxygen and it's around his
little snout. He's laying there and you know, it's like
you take it all in. It's very surreal. And I
think it's so surreal because some of it's real and
some of.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
It's not real. And what I mean by that.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Is, yes, he's his body has screwed him. His body
has gotten in the way of his life. His body
has stopped him from continuing to live this life, which
really sucks. But he's not really When he leaves his body,
he's not really dead, and he's not in that body anymore.
That's not him. That's a vessel where he walked around
(19:50):
and moved around in this society we're in, but that's
not him. He's this spiritual being, right. And so when
you think about somebody says it's surreal, it's because it's
not real.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
There's parts of it.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Yes, we're in that room, we're in a room, we're
going through this, but parts of it, even though it
appears to be one way, is not that way. And
as I'm sitting there through this, yes, it was very interesting.
And I called up my husband and I said, you know, hey,
(20:24):
they're gonna give us some time. He was at work,
and so he had about a thirty five minute drive
and coming back and they said, yeah, that'll be fine,
and I spent time with Buddy. I spent time with him.
I held his little hands like I always do. I
always held his hands. I always held a hand until
he got pissed and didn't want to hold hands anymore.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
He never really got pissed. He would sit in my
lap for hours.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Clients would be in session and they would just see him,
and he's just so super cute.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
He would just sit in.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
My lap for hours, not really moving, just hanging out.
In the last two years, he'd pass out, you know,
like he would be sitting in my arms for about
one minute and he's out, and he would People would
laugh because he would do the head bob, you know
back in college, the head bob where you didn't sleep
really the night before. You're in freshman some class or
(21:14):
sophomore year, and you're over there doing the head butt
where you're almost like breaking your neck because you're passing
out listening to this professor. You can't keep it together. Yeah,
that's what he would do. He would do the head bob,
you know, and adorable. Always at the office of me.
He would he was sleeping standing up sometimes, you know,
he got into that pattern We went everywhere together. He
(21:36):
flew with me, He went everywhere, you know, and it
was so surreal. And because it is surreal, because it's
not real. There's parts of it that are real, and
then there's parts of it that aren't. And I sat
there and I was hugging him, and every time I
hugged him, you know, his heart rate would go up,
(22:00):
and he knew I was there. He was a bit sedated,
but not too sedated. They had to sedatum a little
bit because he was floundering when we got in and
I had a conversation with him, you know, I said,
you know, I love you and I care about you. Now.
I had these conversations with him every every other night
for the last couple of weeks. I never wanted it
(22:20):
to be like in the you know, in the surreal end,
I'm going to have this conversation of this depth. No,
it's like we've been talking about this for a long time.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
You know, there's a little bit of telepathy here.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
We're having this discussion, you know, and it's you have
that and you open up, you know, the options in life.
And it was a very deep discussion. And I had
it again and I held him and we spent you know,
a good hour and a half together, and I could
(22:54):
it was very hard to leave, you know, even after
they did the injection and and everybody, you know, we're
talking about old stories about Buddy.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I mean, we had some crazy stories and some.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Crazy stuff that happened, and and you know, there's some
that were funny, and we were talking about him.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
But it was sad, real, sad.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I kissed his nose a bunch before I left, giving
him hugs. One of the hardest things is carrying out
his collar. It's so hard. And I even checked, I
asked if I could check with the stethoscope to make
(23:37):
sure that yes, he had passed, and he had. But again,
you know, don't leave any stone unturned. And it was hard,
and it is hard. And I remember walking out of
there and talking with everybody, and it was really surreal
because also I had been in that veterinary office the times,
(24:00):
and every time there's people everywhere, people needing stuff, people
waiting on stuff, dogs, cats, all this stuff. And for
the first time, there was nobody there. It was just
the folks that worked there, and I knew them all.
There was nobody waiting for a room. There was nobody
waiting to be seen. It was just us and that's it.
(24:26):
And I was so upset because I didn't have that
day with him. I didn't have that day to drive
around and do all those things. I didn't have that
day to take him around and just you know, do whatever.
And I was sad about that, and I beat myself
up a little bit. I should have done it the
day before. I should have done it the day before.
You know, I should have carried him in, you know,
(24:48):
I should have carried him from the car in. I
should have carried him from the car in. But then,
you know, you never know. I mean, maybe he would
have gotten home and things would have been really bad.
He out in the shot and things wouldn't have gotten
any better. And I remember that's when I started realizing
about Dulce, and it hit me like a ton of brakes.
(25:09):
And I remember having that moment with Dulce and being
able to have that day. But that evening was horrible.
It was scary, and it was stressful, and I know
it was stressful on him too, very stressful and stressful
on me. I mean, I wasn't the one being sick
(25:31):
and having the problems. I was just sitting there and
feeling so horrible, trying to figure out what is it
that I can do to change the situation. And so
I realized we did get grace, even though it didn't
feel like it, because it felt like it cut things
too short, unfair. But yet I had a funny feeling,
(25:54):
and not a funny feeling, but just that feeling of
knowing that unfortunately the body was going to stop working,
and he didn't want it to stop working. I remember
the night before and I have all these pictures and
he's smiling, and he's happy, and he's loving hanging out.
Even in the morning before we went to the vet,
(26:16):
we were outside hanging out on the patio talking. He
was hanging out, good time, he was hanging out in
the office.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
He was okay.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
He wanted to live, he wanted to hang out. He
did not want to go. And I think that's the thing,
is like he did not want to go, and I
did not want him to go. But people sit there
(26:46):
and say, oh, you know, it was his time.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
I think for most of these kiddos, it's not their time.
They don't want to go, but they have to. It's
like us, it's not like we.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Go, oh yeah, hey, I'm done, ready to go out here.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
No. I mean maybe to some degree some of us,
through work and help and dedication and spiritual attainment and work,
will work to figure that out. But I think a
lot of times it just happens to people. Things start
giving out, Maine, Oregon, stop working. Things like that happen.
It's not that you want to leave the planet. It's
(27:23):
just like it fucking happens, man. And so I remember
leaving there and a friend of mine had called, and
another friend of mine had called, and they had told me.
The staff up there had told me, and I picked
out the box for the ashes. I made sure I
could get one that I could open, and I made
(27:45):
sure that I could get one that I could spread,
And I made sure I could get one that I could,
you know, put into different things or whatever if I
wanted to put it into like some sort of holder
or what have you, or just spread them out. You know,
I picked that out. I know that I've I've been
sent a bill and I still have to take care
of it, but I haven't felt like it today.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
And you know, I felt like this. I felt like
I had to record.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
This podcast because I think so many of you have
gone through this and you haven't had an outlet. You
haven't had an outlet to express yourself, to understand, to connect,
to have someone that understands exactly. Maybe not for every
single second of what you went through, but for the
(28:32):
most part what you went through, what you're going through,
what you're currently going through. Because what you're currently going
through is hard, and you know, this is part one
of many.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Because the next podcast that I want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Is the coming home part, the leaving the er. You know,
when you're leaving the er, when you're leaving the vet's
office with the collar, that's a whole nother chapter. It's
(29:11):
another chapter, and all these things have to be discussed
because this is another chapter. This is something else that
we have to walk through. And it's not about, you know,
taking it lightly. I know that a lot of people
have encouraged me to drink. I've really decided not, you know,
I've stopped drinking. I don't want to do that. I
need to process. I need to process this. I need
(29:33):
to accept this. I need to open arm accept this.
I need to hug around it and deal with it
so that I can get some peace of mind. Like
I encourage y'all too if you're going through this, like
really watch the alcohol. Probably if you can't, don't drink,
(29:54):
you know, watch the weed smoking. If you can, don't smoke.
Try to think about it. How do I want to
deal with this?
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Kid?
Speaker 1 (30:05):
If you want to call this dog, you're the name
of your dog, buddy, child, whatever you want to say
has meant a lot to you in your life, and
you owe it to yourself to process these emotions. And
I know that some of you are thinking already about
getting another.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Dog, and we'll talk about that. That's fine, it's great.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
But I do think there needs to be a moment
in time, and your moment might be longer or shorter
than others. Some moments might be six months, other moments
could be three. Others could be years, others could be weeks.
It's up to you, but I think there has to
be some processing and respect of emotions for yourself and
(30:45):
for in my case, buddy, insert the name of your
dog here. And I hope that this has helped, because
in our next podcast, I want to talk about leaving
that as you're walking out with the belongings of your dog,
where are you now? If you haven't already, please check
(31:08):
out my YouTube Channe. I'll just go to life coach
Ashley Burgess. Also the website. If you'd like to get
some coaching or counseling, go to Ashley B E R
g ees dot com.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
I'd love to work with you in the meantime.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
If you're going through this journey, or you've been on
this journey, or this is recent or has happened in
the past, I commend you for all the effort that
you've put in and taken care of your dog slash
child and giving them the best life that you could.
That's all that matters. We'll talk more in Part two.
(31:46):
Don't forget to live your true life. And you've been
listening to the Ashley Burgess podcast
You're in a good place now.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
You are listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome back live to the Ashley Burgess Podcast. The loss
of a pet to some people is just that it's
the loss of a pet, But for some people it's
a family member, for some a child. Especially when people
do not have children, their dog is their child. And
(00:32):
I believe that more and more people from around the
world are choosing not to have children for various reasons,
and this is becoming even more common. The connection that
a person has with their dog, if they choose to
and they take the time and they do everything they
need to do, is strong and it's powerful. But it
(00:56):
takes work, just like any other relationship, just like a marriage,
just like a friendship, just like raising a child. It
takes work, it takes consistency, it takes time. And Buddy
has been with me forever. I love Buddy. He's been
with me for fifteen solid years, and he is my child.
(01:21):
And it's interesting when you look at the situation and
I have friends that have children and they love their dogs.
I'm not saying they don't love their dogs, but it's
a different type of love. And I think everybody out
there listening right now understands. It's like, hey, you know,
when you have a dog, or for many people, a cat,
doesn't matter. That animal is not only a family member,
(01:46):
but it is one of the most important family members.
And I was telling a friend of mine the other day.
We've been great friends, best friends actually for a very
long time. We've known each other since middle school. And
he has two kids and two dogs, and he said,
you know, hey, you know, when something happens to buddy,
you know, you'll know, And I said, I will. I said,
(02:06):
but it's really hard because I think a lot of
times when we have kids, you know, the dogs, the
pets take you know, the back seat, which I guess
I can see that. And I said, and when you
don't have children, it's really a different story. It's like putting,
you know, your firstborn, you know, you know, putting them
in the grave. It's not an easy situation. And I
(02:30):
find it interesting because I think it's something that we
haven't really talked about. It's something that we don't necessarily embrace.
It's something that's hard to bring up. It's something that's
hard to give credence to. And I know that many
of you have dogs. You're a dog lover. Many of
you have a dog and that dog is your child
(02:51):
and you care very much about that dog. And I
know that many of you have lost dogs and it
has been heart wrenching and painful and challenging, and it
has been hard to talk with other people, hard to
have that connection. And I find it interesting because that
is a real challenge. I think that's something in our
society like deems the fact that that's a pet and
(03:14):
so it's not as important, which I find completely inappropriate
and completely wrong. And so on today's podcast, I really
wanted to talk about that. I want to talk about
the sincerity of an animal, the quality of an animal,
the christ energy of a dog, and specific and how
(03:34):
many of you have connected with that dog in your life.
And I guess this is a you know, a kudos
to you, a connection with you, because I think many
of us are out there where you're taking your dog everywhere.
Maybe you take your dog to work every day. You know,
you give your dog, you know, a car ride all
the time, taking them on walks, you know, tucking them in,
(03:55):
fixing their food, everything all the time.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
And a lot of people don't give you kudos for that.
They don't oh wow, you know.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
You know, because it's not a kid and it's not
so deemed normalized in our society. And so for all
of you that are doing that, I want to pat
you on the back. You're doing an excellent job. And
I think that we owe ourselves that. But one of
the most challenging situations is when a dog is not
doing well, when their body is giving out, when their
(04:25):
body is getting in the way of us continuing this
amazing friendship, this amazing connection, this amazing family, this amazing love.
And I just recently had that happen yesterday. I had
to experience that on a massive level, and I realized
(04:47):
that unfortunately, my best friend's body was giving out.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
My best friend in.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
All the world, who I saw every day, hung out
with every day, who I spent time with every day.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Couldn't do it anymore because he was in pain. And
that was hard.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
And I think that, you know, it was nice to
be surrounded at our vet clinic that we go to,
and we've been going to for a long time. It's
the only vet that Buddy's ever known, and adults knew the
same vet, and everybody was there with us, and it
was definitely opposite from the way that my previous dog
(05:37):
had to pass. It was a very challenging night with him.
It was.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
It was horrible.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
We had this great day, though, adults say, and I
had this great day his last day when he was in.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
That body to go do stuff. We had fun.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
We drove everywhere, We did all kinds of things. We
went everywhere, we did everything. He had a hamburger, he
had ice cream, all kinds of stuff, you know, and
we thought we were gonna do good. We thought we're
gonna be able to get through that night and maybe
get through another night. And it didn't happen. And my
veterinarian was out of town. He was out of town.
(06:10):
And even though I mean, you know, it's it's it's
after midnight, you know, but at the same point him
being in town would have been more of a comfort.
And so it was about one am, and and you know,
we headed over to the emergency clinic and Buddy was very,
very sick. He was throwing up blood at that time.
(06:31):
It started about an hour before, an hour and a
half before. We were just trying everything, just if there's
anything we can do. So we get over to the
emergency clinic and within about an hour told Say was
no longer in his body. He had moved on. But
we were sitting on that floor, on that concrete floor,
in a room that was somewhat dark, with people we
(06:52):
didn't know, and it was really really hard. And yes,
it's interesting because again my vet went out of town
and it was very triggering. He was telling me ten
days before, I'm gonna be going out of town on
this trip, and I was, Oh, I got really triggered,
and obviously for an obvious reason, because I knew what
(07:13):
was coming.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Down the pike, and I think many of us know
when things.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Are coming down the pike, when things are changing, when
things are augmented and you can see and you know
there's weight loss and there's food changes, and there's there's
breathing issues. And we did some scans and some things
like that, and we knew we had something, but we
we didn't go as far as to get a cat scan.
We got to the oncologist a few days ago and
they wanted to do a cat scan, and they had
(07:37):
to innovate him, which I didn't want to do because
he was already having some breathing issues and he was
already tired, he had some difficulties sleeping the night before,
and I just wanted to, you know, take care of
him and be there for him because it matters. And
they said, we can also do a biopsy, but we
would have to put him under you know, anna susy
to do that. And I didn't want to do that
(07:58):
to him either, because I said, okay, we can't. Let's
let's get him better. Let's let's get him feeling better,
Let's get him more comfortable. Let's get him in a
place where he can go through these tests and it's
not going to be so painful. We did a few
blood tests on top of the previous ones that we did.
We got some prescriptions as far as to two pills
to take, and we went home and you know, I realized,
(08:22):
I was like, Okay, you know, I'm gonna put this
off for a little while as far as these tests,
because you know, I knew that he had to get better,
he had to eat more. We had been eating so
well and things had been going good. We had some
ups and downs throughout the last few months, but things
had been very solid. I had gotten into a I
was like, literally was a cook. I was a constant cook,
so I cooked in the morning, cooked in the evening.
(08:44):
I was cooking in burgers. You know, he was eating pumpkin.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
You know. I was going to the whole foods.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
You know, I was making eggs when he didn't want
to eat that, you know, scrambled or over easy or
you know, it was like, dammit, whatever I thought he wanted,
we went for it. We finally got you know, in
a rhythm over multiple times. But then we went to
the on colleges in the night before we you know,
we were okay. That night we ate, We ate, and
(09:10):
I hadn't had a burger in about twenty years. Yes,
I don't eat it, and I wasn't really looking forward
to it, but I knew that if he was going
to eat, it was going to be off my plate.
So I remember, I made two actual sliders, just with
the roll, the Hawaiian roll, and I put a little
mayo on mine and none on his, and so I
put them both on one plate, and I took one
(09:31):
bite out of mine, and I said, oh, please, God,
don't give me dysentery, Oh please God. But I said,
I'm doing this for a reason. So I handed him
a bite and he ate it, and we sat there
by the couch and he sat on the floor because
he didn't feel good enough to sit on the couch,
and so I fed him and I ate, and he
watched me eat. Then he took another bite. He watched
me eat, and he took another bite, and he ate
(09:51):
that burger and we ate together, and I was like,
I heard my stomach going, you know, but I still
went with it because I knew it was the right
thing to do.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
You know.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
The next day things were okay, but I had, you know,
explained to my husband and my family, said, you know,
I think we just need to focus on the fact
that we don't know how long he's gonna be here
in this body.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
We need to be aware.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
And I have been trying to do as much as
I could, been trying to do as much as I
could to take care of to be there for him,
to be there for him and his time if need,
because he deserves it. He's my best friend. And so
you know, I wanted to make sure morning, noon, and night,
moving the bed around that he could sleep in, that
he was able to lay in. I moved it from
upstairs to downstairs, from downstairs to the office, from the
(10:35):
office to downstairs, from downstairs to the upstairs, in constant
formation that had been going on for a very long time,
making sure that he's constantly comfortable, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
And he looked great.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I mean, we were constantly spending time. The walks got shorter,
his ability to move around got shorter. But then eventually
he stopped really eating. I tried everything. I tried everything,
salmon to beef, to buffalo, to anything you can poss
we think of baby food, even mac and cheese. The
last food that buddy ate was some mac and cheese
(11:08):
that I got at Whole Foods. And I knew, you know,
I've never fed my dog cheese, certainly not macaroni. But
I had just bought some because I went and bought
some smart things for him that he didn't want to eat.
He had no desire to eat, not one thing that
I bought for him, not one thing. And so I said,
you know what, I'm gonna stick the fork in that
macaroni and I'm gonna hand him some I'm gonna put them,
(11:31):
and he certainly ate it. And so he ate the macaroni,
and I was wondering, maybe I should get some more,
you know, it's interesting. And when the rest of the
family got home late that night, you know, you know,
they tried to feed him again.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Didn't work.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
We tried to make some macaroni that didn't work, went
and got the macaroni from the same place.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
No go.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I knew that he wasn't feeling good. I knew that buddy,
the eater of all eaters. The prognosticators are pronosticators. If
he's not eating, he's not doing well. And he put
up a good show. He put up a good show.
When you look at him and the pictures that I
have from literally three hours before we had to let
(12:14):
him out of his body, you would never believe it.
It's like it's like getting ready and looking your best,
getting in the car and never coming back home. And
that's so hard. It's so hard because you don't even
think about that. We were going to go to the
vet yesterday morning for a shot, for a shot to
(12:39):
try to you know, help open up his lungs and
help him to breathe better, and also hoping that this
shot would help him to eat some more. And so
I was looking forward to it. I had a couple
of sessions with some clients early on in the morning,
and I said, hey, I'd already called everybody said, I'll
be there about eleven o'clock. And you know, I told Buddy.
(12:59):
I was like, Hey, we're gonna go to the vet.
We're gonna get this shot. Then we're gonna go in
the car. We're gonna drive around. And I already had
an idea of having a party for all his friends
on Saturday, a party of a celebration while he's still alive,
while he's still with us in this body.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I was like, this will be a great idea. He's
got so many friends.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I said, Hey, on Facebook, anybody that wants to visit Buddy,
you know, today or tomorrow, let me know, because let's
do it. He wants to see his friends. And so
I was like, you know what we're gonna do is
we're gonna do that. We're gonna first off, we're gonna
go We're gonna you know, drive around, do some errands.
We're gonna pick up some stuff for the party. I
wanted to pick up some CBD oil and see if
(13:40):
that might help him. I have a friend of mine
checking up on that CBD oil. You know, all this
stuff was going on. We had lots of things in
the mix. You know, we had a day plan. We
had a big day plan of activities in the car
and getting stuff done. So I got him in the car,
got him in the back seats. He's smiling. Things are good.
(14:01):
We drive to the vet's office once we've gone a
million times, and you know, and and and spent lots
of money. And I know many of you are definitely
understanding what I'm saying. It's part part of it.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Right.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
People talk about, oh, I can't believe that dog costs that.
It's like, well, the cost of that dog is only
going to go up one hundred thousand times with all
the vet bills and all the bills and all the
health stuff and the food and everything.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
You know.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
And but we do a lot of things for our pets.
We care about them. They're our family member. They're not
our pets. For some of them, there are child, there
are child. And so we get there and as we
pull in, I look down, you know, at the at
the clock on the on the on the car, and
I realize it's eleven eleven, And I was like, huh.
(14:51):
And I don't know if any of y'all think about
numerology or anything. But I was like, that's an interesting number.
I'm hoping we're just going in for the shot. I
just want to get a shot and head back out.
Maybe we'll get back out, you know, head out. And
it's interesting when I look back, I know it's been
a little bit more than twenty four hours, but when
I look back, I couldn't think past getting out of
(15:15):
that car. I couldn't think past it. I couldn't think
about anything else. I was on the phone with a
friend of mine and we were talking and I said, hey,
I got to get Buddy out of the car and
put you on speakerphone. So I'm picking him up, putting
him down, getting his little Lisa on, and we're heading
into the We're heading in to the BET's office, and
(15:38):
I remember we were walking. Everything was good, and then
all of a sudden, Buddy started slowing down, and I understood,
I slowed down, and I tried to help out and
I try to move him a little bit. Then he
slowed down even more. And there was a lady that
was looking at She goes, oh, yeah, hope, you know
you got it, little boy, You got it, little boy.
And I remember she was super cute and I was
trying to you know, we were going, but then he
(16:01):
got real slow. And then we got to the front
of the door and he started circling. He started doing
circles and then he fell out. I grabbed him right
before he hit the ground. And as we walked in
the door, and I'm holding him, and everybody looked at
me and asked if I'm okay. I said, no, he
needs help. They grabbed him, took him immediately into the
(16:23):
back where the er is. You know. They put me
in a room and I was I was very sad
and very scared, and I sat there and waited for
them to come then get me, and multiple people came
in that I knew, and I was happy to see them,
(16:47):
but I was scared, and I said, I want to
see buddy. And they said, you'll see buddy. You'll see buddy.
Don't worry. You'll see him. We'll come get you in
a little bit. You'll see him.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Don't worry.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
We just got to get him calm. And another person
came in and asked what kind of medication he had.
I said, he hasn't had anything today. Last night he had,
you know, one of the pills that they gave me
to give him. And then the next person said, they
have them on oxygen. And the next person came in
and I knew every one of these people and they're
very nice people, and I appreciate.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
All of them.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I don't know many of them for years. And another
friend came in and said, you got it. You've done
a lot and you've taken care of this dog and
he is an amazing dog. But it's it's time, actually,
you know, they want you to come on in and
talk with them, and you know, and so I went
in there and Buddy was on oxygen and he was
(17:41):
laying on a table cover with a blanket, and they
said it's time, and I said I would like to
spend some time with him, and they go, we can
keep him, you know, we can keep him okay here
for a little bit because we can't move him because
he doesn't have enough oxygen. And when I got in there,
his oxygen level apparently was sixty. You know, we had
(18:05):
done those x rays prior, and we did one X
ray and it didn't look great. It looked like there
was some sort of growth and it's like an additional
part of the lung and they talk about it's funny.
It's like, you know, us humans don't seem to have
these additional parts of their lungs, but apparently dogs do.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
And so it was a part of a lung that.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
You could actually if you had to let go of
it and you had to cut it out, you could.
And so that was a great thing because I was thinking, Okay, well, hey,
that's not that bad, right if we have to go
in there and do surgery. And we talked about it,
and but we didn't know you could, you know, because
of the x ray and the eld shine. It wasn't
it wasn't a cat skin. It wasn't enough to really know.
And then you really have to do a biopsy, so
(18:45):
it could have been also pneumonia as well as fluid.
And so we took the protocol, the pneumonia protocol, and
went that direction, thinking that might be the answer. We
did another x ray and all this was this was
you know, several weeks back, but this one looked a
little more cloudier and a little more problematic. And so
(19:05):
I walk back there and but he's on his oxygen
tank and you know, his oxygen and it's around his
little snout. He's laying there and you know, it's like
you take it all in. It's very surreal. And I
think it's so surreal because some of it's real and
some of.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
It's not real. And what I mean by that.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Is, yes, he's his body has screwed him. His body
has gotten in the way of his life. His body
has stopped him from continuing to live this life, which
really sucks. But he's not really When he leaves his body,
he's not really dead, and he's not in that body anymore.
That's not him. That's a vessel where he walked around
(19:50):
and moved around in this society we're in, but that's
not him. He's this spiritual being, right. And so when
you think about somebody says it's surreal, it's because it's
not real.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
There's parts of it.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Yes, we're in that room, we're in a room, we're
going through this, but parts of it, even though it
appears to be one way, is not that way. And
as I'm sitting there through this, yes, it was very interesting.
And I called up my husband and I said, you know, hey,
(20:24):
they're gonna give us some time. He was at work,
and so he had about a thirty five minute drive
and coming back and they said, yeah, that'll be fine,
and I spent time with Buddy. I spent time with him.
I held his little hands like I always do. I
always held his hands. I always held a hand until
he got pissed and didn't want to hold hands anymore.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
He never really got pissed. He would sit in my
lap for hours.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Clients would be in session and they would just see him,
and he's just so super cute.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
He would just sit in.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
My lap for hours, not really moving, just hanging out.
In the last two years, he'd pass out, you know,
like he would be sitting in my arms for about
one minute and he's out, and he would People would
laugh because he would do the head bob, you know
back in college, the head bob where you didn't sleep
really the night before. You're in freshman some class or
(21:14):
sophomore year, and you're over there doing the head butt
where you're almost like breaking your neck because you're passing
out listening to this professor. You can't keep it together. Yeah,
that's what he would do. He would do the head bob,
you know, and adorable. Always at the office of me.
He would he was sleeping standing up sometimes, you know,
he got into that pattern We went everywhere together. He
(21:36):
flew with me, He went everywhere, you know, and it
was so surreal. And because it is surreal, because it's
not real. There's parts of it that are real, and
then there's parts of it that aren't. And I sat
there and I was hugging him, and every time I
hugged him, you know, his heart rate would go up,
(22:00):
and he knew I was there. He was a bit sedated,
but not too sedated. They had to sedatum a little
bit because he was floundering when we got in and
I had a conversation with him, you know, I said,
you know, I love you and I care about you. Now.
I had these conversations with him every every other night
for the last couple of weeks. I never wanted it
(22:20):
to be like in the you know, in the surreal end,
I'm going to have this conversation of this depth. No,
it's like we've been talking about this for a long time.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
You know, there's a little bit of telepathy here.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
We're having this discussion, you know, and it's you have
that and you open up, you know, the options in life.
And it was a very deep discussion. And I had
it again and I held him and we spent you know,
a good hour and a half together, and I could
(22:54):
it was very hard to leave, you know, even after
they did the injection and and everybody, you know, we're
talking about old stories about Buddy.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I mean, we had some crazy stories and some.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Crazy stuff that happened, and and you know, there's some
that were funny, and we were talking about him.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
But it was sad, real, sad.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I kissed his nose a bunch before I left, giving
him hugs. One of the hardest things is carrying out
his collar. It's so hard. And I even checked, I
asked if I could check with the stethoscope to make
(23:37):
sure that yes, he had passed, and he had. But again,
you know, don't leave any stone unturned. And it was hard,
and it is hard. And I remember walking out of
there and talking with everybody, and it was really surreal
because also I had been in that veterinary office the times,
(24:00):
and every time there's people everywhere, people needing stuff, people
waiting on stuff, dogs, cats, all this stuff. And for
the first time, there was nobody there. It was just
the folks that worked there, and I knew them all.
There was nobody waiting for a room. There was nobody
waiting to be seen. It was just us and that's it.
(24:26):
And I was so upset because I didn't have that
day with him. I didn't have that day to drive
around and do all those things. I didn't have that
day to take him around and just you know, do whatever.
And I was sad about that, and I beat myself
up a little bit. I should have done it the
day before. I should have done it the day before.
You know, I should have carried him in, you know,
(24:48):
I should have carried him from the car in. I
should have carried him from the car in. But then,
you know, you never know. I mean, maybe he would
have gotten home and things would have been really bad.
He out in the shot and things wouldn't have gotten
any better. And I remember that's when I started realizing
about Dulce, and it hit me like a ton of brakes.
(25:09):
And I remember having that moment with Dulce and being
able to have that day. But that evening was horrible.
It was scary, and it was stressful, and I know
it was stressful on him too, very stressful and stressful
on me. I mean, I wasn't the one being sick
(25:31):
and having the problems. I was just sitting there and
feeling so horrible, trying to figure out what is it
that I can do to change the situation. And so
I realized we did get grace, even though it didn't
feel like it, because it felt like it cut things
too short, unfair. But yet I had a funny feeling,
(25:54):
and not a funny feeling, but just that feeling of
knowing that unfortunately the body was going to stop working,
and he didn't want it to stop working. I remember
the night before and I have all these pictures and
he's smiling, and he's happy, and he's loving hanging out.
Even in the morning before we went to the vet,
(26:16):
we were outside hanging out on the patio talking. He
was hanging out, good time, he was hanging out in
the office.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
He was okay.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
He wanted to live, he wanted to hang out. He
did not want to go. And I think that's the thing,
is like he did not want to go, and I
did not want him to go. But people sit there
(26:46):
and say, oh, you know, it was his time.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
I think for most of these kiddos, it's not their time.
They don't want to go, but they have to. It's
like us, it's not like we.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Go, oh yeah, hey, I'm done, ready to go out here.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
No. I mean maybe to some degree some of us,
through work and help and dedication and spiritual attainment and work,
will work to figure that out. But I think a
lot of times it just happens to people. Things start
giving out, Maine, Oregon, stop working. Things like that happen.
It's not that you want to leave the planet. It's
(27:23):
just like it fucking happens, man. And so I remember
leaving there and a friend of mine had called, and
another friend of mine had called, and they had told me.
The staff up there had told me, and I picked
out the box for the ashes. I made sure I
could get one that I could open, and I made
(27:45):
sure that I could get one that I could spread,
And I made sure I could get one that I could,
you know, put into different things or whatever if I
wanted to put it into like some sort of holder
or what have you, or just spread them out. You know,
I picked that out. I know that I've I've been
sent a bill and I still have to take care
of it, but I haven't felt like it today.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
And you know, I felt like this. I felt like
I had to record.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
This podcast because I think so many of you have
gone through this and you haven't had an outlet. You
haven't had an outlet to express yourself, to understand, to connect,
to have someone that understands exactly. Maybe not for every
single second of what you went through, but for the
(28:32):
most part what you went through, what you're going through,
what you're currently going through. Because what you're currently going
through is hard, and you know, this is part one
of many.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Because the next podcast that I want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Is the coming home part, the leaving the er. You know,
when you're leaving the er, when you're leaving the vet's
office with the collar, that's a whole nother chapter. It's
(29:11):
another chapter, and all these things have to be discussed
because this is another chapter. This is something else that
we have to walk through. And it's not about, you know,
taking it lightly. I know that a lot of people
have encouraged me to drink. I've really decided not, you know,
I've stopped drinking. I don't want to do that. I
need to process. I need to process this. I need
(29:33):
to accept this. I need to open arm accept this.
I need to hug around it and deal with it
so that I can get some peace of mind. Like
I encourage y'all too if you're going through this, like
really watch the alcohol. Probably if you can't, don't drink,
(29:54):
you know, watch the weed smoking. If you can, don't smoke.
Try to think about it. How do I want to
deal with this?
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Kid?
Speaker 1 (30:05):
If you want to call this dog, you're the name
of your dog, buddy, child, whatever you want to say
has meant a lot to you in your life, and
you owe it to yourself to process these emotions. And
I know that some of you are thinking already about
getting another.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Dog, and we'll talk about that. That's fine, it's great.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
But I do think there needs to be a moment
in time, and your moment might be longer or shorter
than others. Some moments might be six months, other moments
could be three. Others could be years, others could be weeks.
It's up to you, but I think there has to
be some processing and respect of emotions for yourself and
(30:45):
for in my case, buddy, insert the name of your
dog here. And I hope that this has helped, because
in our next podcast, I want to talk about leaving
that as you're walking out with the belongings of your dog,
where are you now? If you haven't already, please check
(31:08):
out my YouTube Channe. I'll just go to life coach
Ashley Burgess. Also the website. If you'd like to get
some coaching or counseling, go to Ashley B E R
g ees dot com.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
I'd love to work with you in the meantime.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
If you're going through this journey, or you've been on
this journey, or this is recent or has happened in
the past, I commend you for all the effort that
you've put in and taken care of your dog slash
child and giving them the best life that you could.
That's all that matters. We'll talk more in Part two.
(31:46):
Don't forget to live your true life. And you've been
listening to the Ashley Burgess podcast
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