December 27, 2024 • 42 mins
Are you feeling New Year’s Eve FOMO creeping in? Every year, all the pomp and circumstance leading up to New Year's celebrations can make us feel like we are missing out. Some of us love the evening, and others deplore it. Perhaps you used to love it, but as time has gone on, you have realized that it’s over-hyped and just another night in the books. Maybe you have been jaded by a previous experience and do not want to repeat it. Listen to this podcast to get real how-to ways to get over disappointment past NYE events, avoid falling for all the New Year’s Eve hype, be able to stop overvaluing this one night a year, and learn how to put all of this into perspective to better your life. Join me today as I discuss what you can do to not get let down by New Year’s Eve and start the first day of the New Year on a positive note.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
You're in a good place now. You are listening to
Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome back Live to Live Your True Life Perspectives and
I'm your host, Ashley Burgess.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
New Year's Eve, New Year's Eve.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Day, and New Year's Eve Night a very interesting twenty
four hours in the calendar. And some of you love it,
you revere it, You can't wait to December thirty first,
while others of you hate it, can't stand it, wish
the day was erased off the calendar completely, and we
(00:41):
start with January one. And I understand, and I'm somewhere
in the middle. I used to love it, revere it. Oh,
we couldn't have enough parties, we couldn't have enough people.
It's going to be a blast. It's amazing. We're gonna
have so much fun. But then that changes over time,
and as it changes over time, things change, and schedules change,
(01:05):
and people's plans change, and all those things happen. And
one of the things that I think that many of
us deal with is the stress and anxiety from what
happened last year. So maybe there were some plans that
you had last year that were supposed to happen and
come into fruition and they did not, and that could
(01:25):
be really challenging as well, because you remember the disappointments,
the expectations that happened last year, and you remember it
all go to shit. I remember back last year, it
wasn't a horrible New Year's Eve, but it definitely was
not the best New Year's Eve. And it was interesting
(01:45):
because everything had been planned, and it had been planned
for like six weeks, and I even had friends that
called me initially to set up the plans. They wanted
to do this, and so I went and got the reservations. Actually,
you know, I actually went and checked the restaurant, you know,
hours before, to make sure the table that they had
us sat at.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
All this stuff. We were going to go to a
party after.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
That one couple had been invited to that had invited
everybody else and it was going to be four couples,
eight people total, and things were all great.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Everything was great.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Until the thirtieth and one couple had just gotten back
in from out of town, and unfortunately they had gotten
COVID coming back. And I understand that, but you know,
it's unfortunate and you feel bad, and they were definitely
down for the count fevers in bed, feeling horrible. But
we you know, you look back and you go, Okay,
(02:37):
I hope you all get better. But we have, you know,
six people that are gonna have fun. And one of
the couples that was obviously still going was you know,
had this great party after that they were invited to you,
and you know, they had told the hosts that, you know,
we would all be going, and so that was going
to be super good, super fun, and so I was
looking forward to that. One of the couples called me
and said, hey, we can't wait, can't wait.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
To see you.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
And about four thirty five o'clock in the afternoon, I
get a text from one person saying, I'm sorry, we're
not going to be able to make it. You know,
our dog got sick. You know, actually her husband's dog
got sick, and they're not going to be able to
make it. And so it's hours before literally the reservations
were at seven thirty, and I said, hey, is there
(03:21):
any way to get around it. I mean, I love animals,
I love dogs. I get it, you know, And apparently
the dog had been ill for the last few days,
and I understand that, but it was just very challenging
because now we're down to four and now that the
you know, the the party invitation, it's still there, but
it's not the same when you go to someone's house
and they don't really know you.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
So that's not really going to work out.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So now we're down to the eating, and that's really
it because I don't want to go to someone's house
I don't really know, not that I don't make friends
very easily and everything, but again, it's just kind of
odd on New Year's and it was really kind of challenging,
and we all made the best out of it, but
we ended up going home early, around ten thirty after dinner,
called it a night.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
And you look back at a lot of.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
These years and a lot of these years, there are disappointments.
There is you know, stress, you know, like getting that
text message and saying, hey, you know, if you can
really you know, double check rechecking, I'd love to have
you for dinner, even if we just go to dinner
and y'all head home, you know, And that didn't change,
And so it becomes challenging. And I know that many
of you out there have gone through the same You've
gone through the same anxiety and stress on New Year's
(04:27):
trying to make it the best day possible. Going through
the process, things fall through the cracks, and the next thing,
you know, you're just desperate, you know, having another drink
and saying, when is it going to be?
Speaker 3 (04:37):
January first? Already?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
And I think a lot of the reasons why we
feel this way is, first off, December thirty first has
too much hype.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
It has way too much hype. You know.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
The hype is you know, off the charts, and it's
it's hard because you really can't ever get it right.
And I've had experience on New Year's back in the
day when I was younger and having a lot more fun,
you know, and there were fun times, there were great times,
but even then, you know, you know, the morning comes around,
(05:11):
you wake up, you know, you go to bed, you
wake up, you feel bad. You know, you go into
January first not feeling that great and starting the new
year kind of well, a little out of sorts. And
so I find that the hype makes a lot of
us over drink, over party, you know, a lot of
you stay out longer or drink more than you ever
(05:32):
would if it was just some you know, other day.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
And I think that's a big problem that.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Kind of comes along with December thirty first, And I
think that some people you know have troubles during the
holiday season already because it can be challenging. Maybe you're
not with your family, or you just lost a loved one,
or you just lost a spouse, or you just went
through a divorce.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Whatever the case may be, it might be challenging.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And then we end it on this overly hyped up,
it's supposed to be amazing day that for many people
just does not pay off that way. It just doesn't
work that way. And so how do we overcome that?
How do we get past that? How do we get
past falling for this hype? How do we get past
overvaluing this one night a year? How do we stop
(06:18):
doing that in order to better our lives? How do
we stop doing that in order to better ourselves? How
do we stop doing that to have a better year
coming into the very next day? And that's what I
think needs to be on our hierarchy is that what
you know?
Speaker 3 (06:37):
What is our hierarchy of needs? You know?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
And how do we create and facilitate the best situation?
And I think a lot of times our energy in
these situations are all placed on the wrong places, the
wrong things, the wrong situations, the wrong spaces. It's just
our energy is not placed properly. Our energy is placed
into things that maybe we can control, maybe we can't control.
(07:01):
Our energy is misplaced in many levels. Our energy is
misplaced in the things that well, quite frankly, our hype.
It is stuff that we can never really attain and
if we even do attain. And I've had a few
New Years that got close to you know, it was wow,
it was wild. There's always something though, it's like it's
like a roads, it's got thorns. There's always a problem.
(07:24):
There's always something. But it was closer to being less
problems and more problems. But then that also leads to
another situation too, because then you start judging and comparing
every other New Year's to that one that was amazing,
and you can't ever get there. So it's like that
that comparison also is a problem that we have to
You look back and you go, oh, man, I remember,
(07:45):
you know New Year's you know, twenty twelve was the
best of my life.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
That was so amazing.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
We had so much fun and we all did this
and that it was so much and then you like,
compare every single year, and every year is gonna fall short.
Every year is gonna fall short compared to that. So
if we compare it, that's going to be a problem.
And I think a lot of us are dealing with fomo.
I think fomo is huge. You know, the fear of
missing out, the fear of missing out, the fear of
(08:11):
missing out on the big party, the big plans, all
the fun. You know, like everybody else is gonna have
all this fun, and I'm not gonna have this fun.
If I stay home, I'm the only person on the
planet that's staying home for New Year's Eve. If I
don't drink, I'm the only person on the planet that's
not drinking. You know, it's all these thoughts, Oh, all
these people are gonna have all this fun, all these
(08:32):
people are going to experience all this What about me.
I'm not going to experience that, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
And I get it.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
The fear of missing out is a huge thing when
it comes to the human condition, and we fear that
on many levels, not just New Year's right. The fear
of missing out is like every party, relationships that you
think are better than you, and you know, your husband
or your wife or your you know, your significant other.
You know, you look at other people and you, oh, gosh,
(09:00):
they must have the best relationship in the world. I'm
missing out, you know. The fear of missing out. And
New Year's Eve, I think is the pinnacle of fomo.
It's the pinnacle of pomo because everybody's like, oh wow,
what are they doing? You look on Instagram and you
see somebody partying at a big party and Aspen, you know,
and the drinks are flowing and the champagne's going and
(09:23):
everything's going on, and it looks fabulous. You see, you know,
people you know partying Dubai people party in here, people
partying there, taking private jets all over the place, and
you're like, wow, you know, that's the life.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
And then you.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Compare that to you, Well, here I am. I'm in
town trying to get a few people together. I already
had a few people cancel. You know what am I
going to do? What is this New Year's going to
look like? Compared to other people's New Years? And I
think it's not just the New Year's thing. It's not
just like, oh my god, my New Year's party. You
start like the Pomo starts to kind of kind of
(09:58):
go over into next year, like, oh, if this is
the way that my New Year's Eve is going to be,
you know, you know, how is my year going to be?
Is this gonna get better? Is this gonna get worse?
How are things gonna work out for me? And it's hard,
It really is hard to overcome that, FOMO. And I
mean I had it last year a little bit because
(10:20):
I was really disappointed. You know, the people that actually
you know, canceled were the ones that pushed me into
basically getting the reservations because I was thinking about just
staying home and so, you know, you know, it's okay,
it's fine, and then I invited another couple who was
who was happy to come along as well. But it's
hard when you find that out that information and other
people are you know, hoping for you know, you know,
(10:42):
quite the gathering as at least at least eight people
at the table that people can communicate with and conversate
and all that, which is great, and it turns into four.
Not that that's a problem, but again it's expectations and
that's a problem.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
And it's interesting too.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Because you know, a few of those people that canceled
last year are reaching out again this year, and I'm
pretty gun shy honestly, because I don't I don't really
want to go through that again. I don't want to
deal with that again. It's definitely not something I want
to deal with. However, you know, I will, you know,
reach back out and see what that looks like. But
I'm also thinking, should I just be in charge of
my own domain? Should I just pick something that I
(11:18):
want to do, make it happen, be cool with that,
and move on, you know. And I was also thinking too,
you know, I might just go out and do something
on the first. I might change my entire situation around
and look at life in a different manner and do
something you know, very cool on the first that compliments
and and and really inspires for my new year. And
(11:41):
I think that that could also be a way that
we take the energy off the fear of missing out,
because you know how many people are diagnosed with FOMO
every New Year's Eve, every every time coming up, because
think about how much stress it adds to the holiday season.
The other day, you know, a friend of mine that
(12:04):
he works with us here at Liberature Life Institute, she
was saying, oh, yeah, we already had plans. It's gonna
be you know, ten couples and everybody's gonna go here.
We made these big plans for New Years, and at
first I was happy for them, but then it was
like the pomo, you know, showed up. That fomo came in.
I was like, whoa, really, I already got plans. Oh wow,
that's you know, that's pretty that's pretty great. You know
(12:25):
how you already got a restaurant. Oh well, how'd you
pull that off for that many people? I mean, I
can't even find a reservation for two much less that.
And I was like, okay, wow, okay, great, well, congratulations. Well,
in the next couple of days they crumbled in front
of their very eyes because somebody else said they couldn't go,
somebody said they didn't want somebody's kids there. All these
different things were going on, and so the plans changed
from being all these people going and they're having this big, wonderful,
(12:49):
you know, extravaganza, to nobody has any plans.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
And there was a part of me that felt bad
for them, but a part of.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Me that didn't honestly, because you know what it's like,
wait a second, I don't have anything going on, and
so when we think about fomo, it happens to the
best of us. You know, no matter if you're a
huge spiritual leader, it doesn't matter. Working on fomo is
very important. But I feel like I do feel like
NYE brings out the worst and everybody when it comes
(13:15):
to fomo, it brings out the worst because it is
so overly hyped. And when I return them, he starts
talking about things that we can do to not be
let down by New Year's Eve, things that we can
do to not get let down, to not feel bad,
to not beat ourselves up, and to literally turn the
page to a new chapter where we do things differently
(13:37):
this year and from here on out, we let go
of fomo when it comes to New Year's Eve forever.
So here, stay tuned, don't change the channel. We got
a lot of stuff to talk about because we're gonna
shrink the hype, We're gonna stop overvaluing this, and we
are going to make the best of this time of
year for us. Stay tuned, live your true life perspectives
(14:00):
with your host, med Ashley Burgess.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
Will be back in I'll be back this time, you
know it.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
In two shakes, turn it up and jump in the
deep end on perspectives.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Now here's Ashley.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Welcome back live to Ligature Life Perspectives and I'm your host,
Ashley Burgess. Let's not get let down by New Year's
Eve this year. Let's stop putting all that energy and
stop giving into all the hype. Let's take that back.
Let's take our energy and our power back, so we
don't have fomo. Fomo is at the absolute pinnacle of
(14:48):
its worst on December thirty first, and I find that
the lead up from Christmas and Hanaker whatever you're celebrating,
the stress level begins to mount the closer we get
to the thirty first, because all these people are doing
this crazy stuff and people are going out and partying
and taking trips and flying places and all this stuff.
(15:10):
And you're like, wow, I'm home and uh, you know,
and then you start questioning to do I have any friends?
Speaker 3 (15:15):
You know? Where are my friends? What am I doing?
What can I do?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
And it's challenging and you start like figuring. You start
trying to like put it all together. You try to
start doing something, You try to put something together, try
to cobble cobble something together, you know. I think that
that's a great word, cobble when we try to cobble,
you know, New Year's Eve, because it's like you really are.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
You're like, you're like, okay, hey are you home? Okay?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Yeah, okay, you around, okay, Yeah, let's let's all let's
do okay, you you in okay?
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
And it's almost like in a roll call, and you're
trying to figure out and you're exasperated. After a certain point,
I don't even know what the hell I'm gonna do anymore.
And you know, and that's when you're like, okay, what
are we doing here? And I found that I feel
like that anxiety and that stress, And I think a
lot of people get sad, even it's not just fomo.
I mean some of you get sad. You get sad,
(16:02):
You get sadness around your years, even sad because it
doesn't live up to the hype. You get sad because
maybe you can't hang out with that person. You get
sad because things have changed and augmented in your life
and you're over there just like kind of thinking about it,
thinking about it, thinking about it, you know, ruminating it,
ruminating it, ruminating and those are things we don't want
to do either. We don't want to ruminate in our
sadness either. We want to really take our energy and
(16:25):
try to figure out how do I take this energy
do I have? How do I take this mental energy
that I have and focus on something that can benefit
me in a positive way that I can do to
change my life and I can do to walk into
January first feeling better, feeling more aware, feeling more on point.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
How do I do that? What do I do?
Speaker 2 (16:54):
And these are very very important questions to ask because
if you're feeling like disappointed because many of us have
the expectations, and then like what happened to me last year?
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Yes, I mean there were still folks there.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
But again it's like you know other people are involved,
and you feel you know how other people are feeling too,
because you're like, hey, I hate to relay the message,
but I just found this out. And the hard thing
was about that night in particular, is you know my
one friends like, no, you know what, I'm gonna try
to get down there. I'm gonna try to get down there.
And things kept changing and so it was like hype
and more hype and more hype, and then it was like, okay,
(17:28):
well let's just go home. We ate great, great to
see you, goodbye. And it just was like it was
almost like the failure, like the night didn't you know,
it didn't fly. It didn't it didn't go off, it
went there was a hitch and and everybody kind of
feels it because they want everything to be perfect and
that fomo.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
It's like you look around and you go gush.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
You know, it would have been better if you know,
maybe we should have just done individual things. Everybody just
done their own dinner, you know, also a fomo you
see you know some people having big parties.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Oh they had this huge party. It's great.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
And it's like it's interesting because the issue that I
have a lot of times during this type of situation
is that part of me wants to kind of just
do my own thing. I don't really want to deal
with everything. I just want to do my own thing it.
Some of me wants to see friends and hang out
but it's like I kind of want to just kind
of like not make such a big hype about it.
It's like, why is it such a big deal. I mean,
(18:21):
it's really any day and we have all these calendars
in Gregoring, calendar, the Buddhist calendar, none of the calendars
are the same. How do you even know it's the
summer thirty first? Anyway, we're all just giving it all
this accreditation and this credibility. This is actually the day,
and it's actually the.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Beginning of a year. It could be in the middle
of the year. We don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
I mean, we're falling hyped all this up and so
kind of putting in perspective is the way that I
want us to talk about here in.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Just a bit.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
How do we do that? How do we really put
this time and date and perspective. How do we begin
to limit the stress level surrounding this date starting right now?
And how do we augment that forever? Because I think
if we can get a handle on this, the season
actually feels better because there's not that big of a
It's like, Okay, hey, I'm gonna celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah,
(19:03):
but after that, I'm okay, I can just chill and
I can just fly into the new year being successful
and maintaining my motivation and working to be the best
version of me I can be.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Stay tuned, don't change the channel.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Ligature life perspectives, with your host me Ashley Burgess, will
be back in I'll be back this time and two shakes.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
This is Jake Busey and you're listening to Perspectives with
Ashley Burgess.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Welcome back live to Ligerture Life Perspectives and I'm your
host Ashley Burgess. The letdown of New Year's Eve is
very real, and it happens to most of us. Some
of us revere the date, others of us hate the date.
Some of us stress out about it in the build
up of the expectations of what it's supposed to be
and how it unravels in front of your very eyes.
And not every year. There's some years you have a
(20:03):
fabulous time. But then if you do have a fabulous time,
you compare that fabulous time to every year after. And
it's interesting how that works. And what I found is
that there's so much hype surrounding December thirty first, and
the build up to it is so overwhelming and stressful
that many times we lose sight of what is important.
(20:25):
We lose sight of what we need to do, we
lose sight of where we need to go, we lose
sight of what we should do, and so we get overwhelmed.
We try to find friends, we recruit people.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
What are you doing? Are you in town? Let's do this,
let's do that.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
And you start trying to organize something or you just
give up and you're like, I don't want to do this.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
This is stressful.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
And you know, I'm deemed to be at home by
myself alone for New Year's Eve, and these can be
overwhelming feelings. And I find that Christmas or Hanukkah, whatever
holiday that you you know, choose to celebrate, can be
stressful around you know, the family and the dynamic and everything.
But when you add the New Year's issue, and you
add that thirty first in cause of stress, anxiety, fear,
(21:07):
and it begins to become a problem. And I think
if we can actually direct our energy in a different way,
begin to see that day is just another day. And
I'm not saying we devalue it. I'm just like, see
it as another day. Like March first, do you go
out and freak out and call your friends and try
to figure out what you're gonna do on March first?
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Oh my god, it's March first. Oh my god, Oh
my god, oh god, I got fomo oh I got
so much fomo. Oh God, Oh what am I gonna do? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:38):
But the fear of missing out is such a big
game player with this hype.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
It really is. I mean, it really is.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
And that's one of the big things is trying to
remove that fomo because fomo really does leave like a
bad taste in your mouth. Right. It's like everybody else
is having a blast and here I am just sitting
on my butt. Everybody else is doing this and having
a big party, watching fireworks and doing this and doing that,
and here I am having a beer. Yeah, And it's
it's like really putting it in perspective. And so how
(22:11):
do we begin to look at the big picture and
take the hype out of this? How do we begin
to look at the big picture and say, hey, does
this really matter?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
You know?
Speaker 2 (22:20):
And I think one of the big things that I
do is that helps me with issues in my life
is I ask myself, is this going to be an
issue in three days? And if I say yes, it's
going to be an issue in three days, I'm still
going to feel it. Is there going to be pain
in three days?
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Is this going to be an issue in seven days?
Am I still going to feel the pain?
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Probably not.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
I mean, you know, you got to think about it.
Is this gonna be an issue in a month? Is
this gonna be an issue in a year? You know,
these are a way that I kind of relatively stress
about things and put things in basically not stressed, but
put things in perspective.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
You know, is this going to.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Affect me for a year. Is this gonna affect me
for six months? Is this gonna affect me for a month.
Is this gonna affect me for two weeks? Is this
gonna affect me for a day? What is the affect level?
And I find that too. One of the things is
that I find that, you know, the more we can
actually focus inner and in ourselves and the internal energy
(23:12):
and focusing on what is important to us, what we value.
If we can focus on what we value, we take
the energy out of it. We take the energy out
of it, We deflate the thirty first. I don't I'm
(23:33):
not trying to, you know, say oh we should hate
on it, and all of a sudden, I'm just saying, hey,
let's just put it in perspective. It's one day. There's
all these calendars. You got the Gregorian calendar, the Buddhist calendar.
You got allays calendar. We don't even know. I mean,
we all think that it's December thirty, first coming up,
and it may or may not be, who knows. But
it's just a day, and it's a day to start
another year. And you know, some of you say same shit,
different day anyway, which I don't agree with because I
(23:54):
think we need to be in the moment.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
But you know, it's just another day.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
So we kind of put in perspective, we look at, Okay,
what is it that I really want to be doing tomorrow?
What can I do to basically, you know, celebrate the
last year, the last day of the year in a healthy,
somewhat healthy manner. Because the other side of the coin too,
as many of you are trying to stop something, you know,
(24:20):
whether it's smoking or drinking or whatever it is, and
you know, this is one of the hardest days to
do that, I mean, and it's really hard to like
stop something after you know, the night before you were
like over indulging in that whatever that was. And so
again it's like, are we going to put ourselves in
the right trajectory for change? You know, are we going
(24:44):
to put ourselves in the right mindset, you know, like
you know, the correct mindset for change. And I think
that's so important to think about, what is the correct
mindset for change?
Speaker 3 (24:59):
How do we get there?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
And I know that, you know, I know that, you know,
like you know, spending all night being sick and throwing
up is definitely not the mindset for change, right, I mean,
that's that. And I know that some of y'all have
been there, and I know we've all been there. Let's
just be honest with it. But I mean, that's not
where I want to be come, you know, one to
one thinking about where I want to be at. That's
(25:21):
not where I want to be in my life. That's
not where I want to be at when I wake
up going oh God, oh help me, please please. You know,
I'll go around and tell everybody never to drink God
save me, help me. I don't want to be there.
That's not where I want to personally be. So how
do you make sure that you don't go there? How
do you make sure that you actually enjoyed some degree?
It's not about like, oh, let's just shut down and
(25:43):
act like it doesn't exist, go to bed at eight
o'clock and call tonight. That's not what I'm saying, but
I think that there has to be some sort of
personal ceremony perhaps where you you know, you sit there
and you go, Okay, hey, you know, I look at
some of the things that I'm grateful for. You know,
(26:07):
I acknowledge, I acknowledge what I am grateful for.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
I think that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
You know, maybe you also acknowledge the pain you had,
maybe some of the suffering you went through this year.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
I'm not saying that we don't.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
I don't want anybody ruminating, but you can accept the
fact that.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
You went through it.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
And then I think, you know, what do you want
to see in the new year? What do you want
it to look like? What does it look like to you?
Speaker 3 (26:40):
What do you want? You know? What do you want?
Speaker 2 (26:44):
You know?
Speaker 3 (26:44):
WDYW what do you want?
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Think about that? Because those are important questions to ask.
And I think that when we're too busy trying to
figure out what's the best party, or who should you
invite and who should come to this and where you
should get the reservations and God forbid, this happened or
that happened all this, it's like we get lost in
the shuffle of what we're really doing. We get loss
of what we're trying to create. We get lost and
(27:09):
and and and and that's and and that's kind of
we get lost in our own thoughts, our own mind,
our own situations, all those things that become a problem.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
And that's what I think is very important.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I think that's very important that we acknowledge the fact
that this gets as off target. We acknowledge the fact
that we focus on what doesn't matter. The fact that
last year the people bailed at the last minute, creating
not the perfect situation really sucks, and and it could
have been done days before. You know, let's just acknowledge that.
(27:39):
And I think that's one of the issues, but it.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Is what it is.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
But you know, all that, and then the stress of
you know, okay, well I got this, and now you
know the restaurant and the stress and you know, and
then okay, can does other people want to make it
and they can't make it? And all of a sudden,
all of that together is just too burdensome. It's just
it's a burden. And in that process of the burden,
I didn't have time to look at what I'm grateful for.
(28:03):
I didn't have time to accept and to you know,
congratulate myself for getting over the pain and suffering.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
I went through the year before, you know.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I didn't think about, oh, hey, what do I want
to accomplish you know this year coming into the new year.
I didn't have any time for that because I was
too busy dealing with the stress of one day.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
One day.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
You don't sit there on September twentieth, you know, going
to dinner with people and freak out like that level
on September twentieth, That's not a big deal. I'm just
pulling a random day out of my out of my
hat here, I'm not wearing a hat, but she's shown
saying so it's like, okay, so what why does this
become so important? And so I think if we actually
put our energy into those types of things and really
(28:43):
catching when fomo rears, it's ugly ahead because it's gonna
show up no matter all the work we do. It
doesn't matter. It's just, you know, we've been trained to
feel that way. We've been trained to have that fomo.
We've been trained to wonder what everybody else is doing.
We've been trained to think that what we're doing is
not that important. We've been trained to feel like other
people are doing more than we are. We've been training
(29:04):
that over time. It's part of the game makes the
hype continue. Right If people were all hyped out and
they're like, okay, cool, you know, I think I'm gonna
go to my nearest grocery store and make a cool
dinner and hang out and have maybe a glass of
wine or two and chill and go to bed at
a proper time and get up and be ready for
the first and set my you know, set my heights
(29:25):
on some stuff and really focus on my motivation.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
Everything would be a little different. You know, most of.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
These clubs would be out of business, These restaurants wouldn't
be making all this money.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
You know, the stress level.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
You know, the anti you know, anti depressant drugs wouldn't
be doing as well. You know, the anti anxiety drug
companies wouldn't be doing as well.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I mean, you got to keep the hype going on.
This has got to stay.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
It's got to stay because this keeps everybody going right,
keeps everybody on edge, right, keeps everybody stressed out. You know,
Oh my gosh, I'm already stressed out about Christmas because
I'm not going to see family, or on the other side,
for some of you, I'm all stressed out about Christmas
because I'm gonna see a bunch of family that I
don't really like, get along with, and have some issues with.
And now I gotta I gotta buck up to that.
And then when I get home, I gotta figure out
(30:04):
what I'm gonna do for New Year's. You know, I'm
either single and I feel like I'm alone. What am
I gonna do then? Or I'm recently divorced, or or
I'm recently dating somebody but we're not there yet so
that you know, can't do that, or or I got
kids and there's no babysitters on the planet. You know,
whatever it is, it is what it is.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
We all are dealing with something. All of us have
something in our life that we're dealing with. All of us.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Do you know, maybe our health, maybe our health is suffering,
you know, I mean, maybe there's a financial crisis in
your life right now. These are the things that we
have to think about. And we don't need to like,
you know, oh, just sitting and wallowing it, But we
have to accept that and go, know, hey, maybe that's
in the way of this year me celebrating. But how
can I celebrate on a small level, How can I
(30:46):
do something for myself to really focus on a personal
ceremony of what I'm grateful for, you know, pattying myself
on the back.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
For the pain and suffering. Now I've gone through. We've
all gone through paint and suffering this year. Guys.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Everybody has, I have, you have, We all have, and
some of it has been pretty bad. And some of
it has been bad that you haven't had anybody to
talk to about it. You got no bad person to
talk to about it. You got to keep it all inside.
Some of you go to a therapist or counselor coach
like me, which is very helpful because you can talk
about it. There's no judgment, you know. If you'd like
(31:25):
to work with me, just go to Ashley Burgs dot
com ashleyb e er g Ees dot com and click
on that coaching session page and you can set up
at a point right. Then you can also go to
that contact page Ashley Burgess dot com click on contact
orf you want to send me a message prior if
you have any questions or thoughts that you would like
to ask me before scheduling an appointment with me. But
(31:46):
you know, if you have that, you know option, that's great,
but you know, and you're able to talk about it.
But again, even if you're able to talk about it,
you still went through the paint and suffering that you
went through, and so giving yourself a pat on the back, Hey,
I got through it. I made it, you know, I
went through that. Now, okay, that we've gone through this,
how do we want the new year to look? How
do I want this new year that I am dealing with?
(32:09):
How do I want this to look in my life?
What do I want? How do I want this to look?
And I think that this is very important to acknowledge.
This is very important to understand. These are the things
we need to acknowledge in our life. And if we
can take that energy of the burden and the fear
that you know, John and Alisha's not gonna make the party,
and so and so's gonna cancel the last minute, and
(32:31):
you're gonna freak out because you got to tell the
restaurant that you don't need eight people. You got four,
and you had to you know, just you paid specially
ahead to get this done. And now this isn't gonna work,
and now what are you gonna do? And ah, so
many things out one time. And that's where I feel like,
why do you want to deal with all that when
we can actually just focus on some things that need
(32:52):
to be focused on and so let's prepare for that.
How do we get prepared for that? How do we
begin to re focus our brain? After how many years?
I mean it could be many of you been doing
this New Year's thing for twenty years, thirty years, forty years,
fifty years, sixty years, you know, how do.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
We reprogram our brain.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
To be able to see things clearly, to be able
to start formulating thoughts, and to be able to start
thinking about how we want the year to look, how
do we want this year to look? How do we
want things to go? So I would actually, if you can't,
get yourself a calendar and start creating a timeline, and
I actually put on the top of each date, so
(33:38):
you know, like on the twenty six, you know, I
put something you know today like today's date, and you
put something like all the way through the year, especially
in December, I'm going to start working on acknowledging what
I'm grateful for I'm going to think about what I
want this year to look like. You know, WDYW what
do you want?
Speaker 3 (33:57):
What do I want?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
And I want you to start thinking about that. Put
it in the calendar. So when you sit there and go,
oh my god, what am I going to do? What
are we going to do for New Year's Eve? What
am I going to do for yours? Try to if
if you got something easy, breezy to do, great, if
you can do the easiest plan, do it, but really
focus this energy on that, focus it because remember, everybody
else is stressed out, everybody else is anxious.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
You got all kinds of things going on.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
So you got all these cards stacked against you to
make these things work. You got all the cards stacked
against you for things to really work out that night.
It's just the way it is, right and it's just
the night. And that's the big, big kind of you
know rub I think is accepting that and saying, okay, hey,
what can I control? Well, you know what, I can
(34:44):
control myself. I can decide what I'm doing. I can
control myself. I can get things for myself. If I
want a few people to come, great, if they show up,
great if they don't okay either way. You know, how
do I want to feel? Where do I want my
head to be? How do I want my headspace to be?
How do I want to feel emotionally, mentally and physically?
What do I want to focus on?
Speaker 3 (35:04):
You know?
Speaker 2 (35:04):
How do I get myself into the feeling of a
personal ceremony and really focus on that and start writing
things down. I would get a journal and start thinking
about it right now, you know, start thinking about And
this is something you can use every single year. And
this is something you can use around anything that provides
stress in your life, any date or time that provides
stress in your life, like a birthday or even Christmas
(35:26):
or any of these types of days.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
These are things that you can.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Do to really take back your energy and focus on
what really matters. I got more coming up, so stay
tuned Live your True Life Perspectives with your host me,
Ashley Burtis, will be back in I'll be back this
time in two shakes.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Get in here. You're listening to Perspectives with Ashes.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Welcome back live to Liberty Life Perspectives and I'm your host,
Ashley Burgess. New Year's Eve, December thirty first, can be
well painful. It can be stressful, overwhelming. Plans don't come together,
things fall apart at the last minute, and there you
are over overwhelmed, upset and filled with fomo. And you know,
(36:25):
many of us get fomo. That's normal. We get because
the fear of missing out, the fear of missing out,
you know, the fear of other people having all this fun,
We're not having any fun and really focusing on the
wrong things. And that's why I feel like the hype
of December thirty first needs to be just deflated completely.
It's another day and we need to look at it
as another day entering into this new year, and focusing
(36:47):
on the fact that we can focus on what we
want this new year to look like, what we want
in this new year, What are the experiences that we
want to experience in this new year. How do we
see ourselves growing in this new year? And this is
so powerful and so if we have that personal ceremony,
if we have gratitude and acknowledge what good went on
(37:09):
this year, the good things that happen, and think about
all the time we have. We're not super focused on,
you know, so and so making the dinner or having
this big party or planning this big trip, how we
can actually like experience what we want. And I know
that many of you are also wanting to quit something,
whether it's smoking weed or vaping or cigarettes, or alcohol
(37:31):
or drugs or whatever it is that you want to
quit in your life. And this is one of the
hardest times because, you know, the night you want to
party hardy and do all this stuff. But it's hard
because the very next day you're starting to feel bad.
You're feeling guilty, You're feeling shame, like it's just like
a double whammy for a.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Lot of people.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
You know you have fun, but yet you're feeling shame
and feeling bad going into the new year. You know,
basically comatos you know had been throwing up, feeling horrible,
is super horrible, eating badly, having pizza at three am.
You know what I'm saying, all these kind of things
and feeling bad. So why do we want to do that?
And I think if we can look at a personal
ceremony and say, hey, it's just another day to give
(38:08):
a reason to party. If I want to interact with
people and I want to have people, that's great. You know,
if I have family members, great, if I have friends,
that join me.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
Great.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
If I don't, that's fine too. And then how do
I really focus that energy on what I can actually
focus on? How do I focus on the new year,
How do I focus on bettering myself? How do I
focus on accomplishing my goals? And how do I accomplish
those goals this year? And I hope that this has
been a valuable podcast and radio show for you, because
(38:38):
I feel like it's necessary. I feel like the stress
and anxiety that comes from planning December thirty first, and
the things that go wrong and the things that don't
work and the things that fall by, the fall through
the cracks are just so painful, and it just leaves
a bad taste in your mouth for the whole last year.
And it's like, why do we want to do that?
We want to step into this next year, you know
feeling very positive, you know, feeling very powerful, you know,
(39:01):
feeling empowered, motivated.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
We want to walk in with.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
All those great feelings, not the other way around. And
I feel like when we give too much power to
the fomo, too much power to the hype, that's exactly
what's gonna happen. We are going to be let down,
We're gonna feel less, We're gonna feel stress, We're just
(39:28):
none of this is like positive coming out of this.
So we want to augment that, make those changes feel better,
create that reality, and go into the new year feeling
good about ourselves and our contributions. And I hope that
you have a beautiful end of the year. I hope
you have a great start to the year. And you
(39:49):
know it is it's every day is just a day.
It's another day on our path. No matter what day
it is, it's another day on our path. It's another
day to figure out who we are. You know, WD
YW What do you.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Want in your life? What do you want? Think about that.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Use this time and use your effort and power to
focus on what do you want and how will you
get it? You know, how will you make it a reality?
I look forward to hearing from any of you this year.
If you'd like to contact me, just go to Ashley
Burgers dot com, click on that contact page and send
(40:30):
me a message.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
I'll get back to you asap.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
If you'd like to work with me, go to Ashley
Burgers dot com again go to coaching session and you know,
just go to your coaching session page click on that.
I also have therapists working with me as well that
can also work with you that have specializations. So we
have you know, Erica, Leah, and Lisa, and all of
them have specializations and they all can help. So if
(40:53):
you have a question or you want to like to
know more about them or more about my work, definitely
reach out on that contact page.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
And I look forward to hear from you.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Anything I can do to help you make this year,
next year better, Anything I can do to help you
motivate and contribute to your health and happiness and balance.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
That is exactly what we want, and I want.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
You to have the absolute best holidays, the absolute best
thirty first, but the right way with the energy directed purposefully,
purposely is where we want to direct our energy, and
I find that very powerful. If you haven't already, you know,
get involved, get on Instagram. We're on Instagram, Asley Burgess, Facebook,
Ashley Burgess, Twitter x Ashley Burgess, TikTok Ashley Burgess. So
(41:36):
let me know, look forward to hearing from you. I
hope you have a wonderful day and I hope that
this show has resonated with you. Please share with anybody
that's going through fomo stress anxiety around this time of year.
Because this is very real, Stay tuned, live it at
your life perspectives with your host me Asthley Burgess will
be back in I'll be back this time.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
You know it.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
I'll be back this time in three shakes the pup
You're in a good place now. You are listening to
Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome back Live to Live Your True Life Perspectives and
I'm your host, Ashley Burgess.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
New Year's Eve, New Year's Eve.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Day, and New Year's Eve Night a very interesting twenty
four hours in the calendar. And some of you love it,
you revere it, You can't wait to December thirty first,
while others of you hate it, can't stand it, wish
the day was erased off the calendar completely, and we
(00:41):
start with January one. And I understand, and I'm somewhere
in the middle. I used to love it, revere it. Oh,
we couldn't have enough parties, we couldn't have enough people.
It's going to be a blast. It's amazing. We're gonna
have so much fun. But then that changes over time,
and as it changes over time, things change, and schedules change,
(01:05):
and people's plans change, and all those things happen. And
one of the things that I think that many of
us deal with is the stress and anxiety from what
happened last year. So maybe there were some plans that
you had last year that were supposed to happen and
come into fruition and they did not, and that could
(01:25):
be really challenging as well, because you remember the disappointments,
the expectations that happened last year, and you remember it
all go to shit. I remember back last year, it
wasn't a horrible New Year's Eve, but it definitely was
not the best New Year's Eve. And it was interesting
(01:45):
because everything had been planned, and it had been planned
for like six weeks, and I even had friends that
called me initially to set up the plans. They wanted
to do this, and so I went and got the reservations. Actually,
you know, I actually went and checked the restaurant, you know,
hours before, to make sure the table that they had
us sat at.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
All this stuff. We were going to go to a
party after.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
That one couple had been invited to that had invited
everybody else and it was going to be four couples,
eight people total, and things were all great.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Everything was great.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Until the thirtieth and one couple had just gotten back
in from out of town, and unfortunately they had gotten
COVID coming back. And I understand that, but you know,
it's unfortunate and you feel bad, and they were definitely
down for the count fevers in bed, feeling horrible. But
we you know, you look back and you go, Okay,
(02:37):
I hope you all get better. But we have, you know,
six people that are gonna have fun. And one of
the couples that was obviously still going was you know,
had this great party after that they were invited to you,
and you know, they had told the hosts that, you know,
we would all be going, and so that was going
to be super good, super fun, and so I was
looking forward to that. One of the couples called me
and said, hey, we can't wait, can't wait.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
To see you.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
And about four thirty five o'clock in the afternoon, I
get a text from one person saying, I'm sorry, we're
not going to be able to make it. You know,
our dog got sick. You know, actually her husband's dog
got sick, and they're not going to be able to
make it. And so it's hours before literally the reservations
were at seven thirty, and I said, hey, is there
(03:21):
any way to get around it. I mean, I love animals,
I love dogs. I get it, you know, And apparently
the dog had been ill for the last few days,
and I understand that, but it was just very challenging
because now we're down to four and now that the
you know, the the party invitation, it's still there, but
it's not the same when you go to someone's house
and they don't really know you.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
So that's not really going to work out.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So now we're down to the eating, and that's really
it because I don't want to go to someone's house
I don't really know, not that I don't make friends
very easily and everything, but again, it's just kind of
odd on New Year's and it was really kind of challenging,
and we all made the best out of it, but
we ended up going home early, around ten thirty after dinner,
called it a night.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
And you look back at a lot of.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
These years and a lot of these years, there are disappointments.
There is you know, stress, you know, like getting that
text message and saying, hey, you know, if you can
really you know, double check rechecking, I'd love to have
you for dinner, even if we just go to dinner
and y'all head home, you know, And that didn't change,
And so it becomes challenging. And I know that many
of you out there have gone through the same You've
gone through the same anxiety and stress on New Year's
(04:27):
trying to make it the best day possible. Going through
the process, things fall through the cracks, and the next thing,
you know, you're just desperate, you know, having another drink
and saying, when is it going to be?
Speaker 3 (04:37):
January first? Already?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
And I think a lot of the reasons why we
feel this way is, first off, December thirty first has
too much hype.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
It has way too much hype. You know.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
The hype is you know, off the charts, and it's
it's hard because you really can't ever get it right.
And I've had experience on New Year's back in the
day when I was younger and having a lot more fun,
you know, and there were fun times, there were great times,
but even then, you know, you know, the morning comes around,
(05:11):
you wake up, you know, you go to bed, you
wake up, you feel bad. You know, you go into
January first not feeling that great and starting the new
year kind of well, a little out of sorts. And
so I find that the hype makes a lot of
us over drink, over party, you know, a lot of
you stay out longer or drink more than you ever
(05:32):
would if it was just some you know, other day.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
And I think that's a big problem that.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Kind of comes along with December thirty first, And I
think that some people you know have troubles during the
holiday season already because it can be challenging. Maybe you're
not with your family, or you just lost a loved one,
or you just lost a spouse, or you just went
through a divorce.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Whatever the case may be, it might be challenging.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And then we end it on this overly hyped up,
it's supposed to be amazing day that for many people
just does not pay off that way. It just doesn't
work that way. And so how do we overcome that?
How do we get past that? How do we get
past falling for this hype? How do we get past
overvaluing this one night a year? How do we stop
(06:18):
doing that in order to better our lives? How do
we stop doing that in order to better ourselves? How
do we stop doing that to have a better year
coming into the very next day? And that's what I
think needs to be on our hierarchy is that what
you know?
Speaker 3 (06:37):
What is our hierarchy of needs? You know?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
And how do we create and facilitate the best situation?
And I think a lot of times our energy in
these situations are all placed on the wrong places, the
wrong things, the wrong situations, the wrong spaces. It's just
our energy is not placed properly. Our energy is placed
into things that maybe we can control, maybe we can't control.
(07:01):
Our energy is misplaced in many levels. Our energy is
misplaced in the things that well, quite frankly, our hype.
It is stuff that we can never really attain and
if we even do attain. And I've had a few
New Years that got close to you know, it was wow,
it was wild. There's always something though, it's like it's
like a roads, it's got thorns. There's always a problem.
(07:24):
There's always something. But it was closer to being less
problems and more problems. But then that also leads to
another situation too, because then you start judging and comparing
every other New Year's to that one that was amazing,
and you can't ever get there. So it's like that
that comparison also is a problem that we have to
You look back and you go, oh, man, I remember,
(07:45):
you know New Year's you know, twenty twelve was the
best of my life.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
That was so amazing.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
We had so much fun and we all did this
and that it was so much and then you like,
compare every single year, and every year is gonna fall short.
Every year is gonna fall short compared to that. So
if we compare it, that's going to be a problem.
And I think a lot of us are dealing with fomo.
I think fomo is huge. You know, the fear of
missing out, the fear of missing out, the fear of
(08:11):
missing out on the big party, the big plans, all
the fun. You know, like everybody else is gonna have
all this fun, and I'm not gonna have this fun.
If I stay home, I'm the only person on the
planet that's staying home for New Year's Eve. If I
don't drink, I'm the only person on the planet that's
not drinking. You know, it's all these thoughts, Oh, all
these people are gonna have all this fun, all these
(08:32):
people are going to experience all this What about me.
I'm not going to experience that, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
And I get it.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
The fear of missing out is a huge thing when
it comes to the human condition, and we fear that
on many levels, not just New Year's right. The fear
of missing out is like every party, relationships that you
think are better than you, and you know, your husband
or your wife or your you know, your significant other.
You know, you look at other people and you, oh, gosh,
(09:00):
they must have the best relationship in the world. I'm
missing out, you know. The fear of missing out. And
New Year's Eve, I think is the pinnacle of fomo.
It's the pinnacle of pomo because everybody's like, oh wow,
what are they doing? You look on Instagram and you
see somebody partying at a big party and Aspen, you know,
and the drinks are flowing and the champagne's going and
(09:23):
everything's going on, and it looks fabulous. You see, you know,
people you know partying Dubai people party in here, people
partying there, taking private jets all over the place, and
you're like, wow, you know, that's the life.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
And then you.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Compare that to you, Well, here I am. I'm in
town trying to get a few people together. I already
had a few people cancel. You know what am I
going to do? What is this New Year's going to
look like? Compared to other people's New Years? And I
think it's not just the New Year's thing. It's not
just like, oh my god, my New Year's party. You
start like the Pomo starts to kind of kind of
(09:58):
go over into next year, like, oh, if this is
the way that my New Year's Eve is going to be,
you know, you know, how is my year going to be?
Is this gonna get better? Is this gonna get worse?
How are things gonna work out for me? And it's hard,
It really is hard to overcome that, FOMO. And I
mean I had it last year a little bit because
(10:20):
I was really disappointed. You know, the people that actually
you know, canceled were the ones that pushed me into
basically getting the reservations because I was thinking about just
staying home and so, you know, you know, it's okay,
it's fine, and then I invited another couple who was
who was happy to come along as well. But it's
hard when you find that out that information and other
people are you know, hoping for you know, you know,
(10:42):
quite the gathering as at least at least eight people
at the table that people can communicate with and conversate
and all that, which is great, and it turns into four.
Not that that's a problem, but again it's expectations and
that's a problem.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
And it's interesting too.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Because you know, a few of those people that canceled
last year are reaching out again this year, and I'm
pretty gun shy honestly, because I don't I don't really
want to go through that again. I don't want to
deal with that again. It's definitely not something I want
to deal with. However, you know, I will, you know,
reach back out and see what that looks like. But
I'm also thinking, should I just be in charge of
my own domain? Should I just pick something that I
(11:18):
want to do, make it happen, be cool with that,
and move on, you know. And I was also thinking too,
you know, I might just go out and do something
on the first. I might change my entire situation around
and look at life in a different manner and do
something you know, very cool on the first that compliments
and and and really inspires for my new year. And
(11:41):
I think that that could also be a way that
we take the energy off the fear of missing out,
because you know how many people are diagnosed with FOMO
every New Year's Eve, every every time coming up, because
think about how much stress it adds to the holiday season.
The other day, you know, a friend of mine that
(12:04):
he works with us here at Liberature Life Institute, she
was saying, oh, yeah, we already had plans. It's gonna
be you know, ten couples and everybody's gonna go here.
We made these big plans for New Years, and at
first I was happy for them, but then it was
like the pomo, you know, showed up. That fomo came in.
I was like, whoa, really, I already got plans. Oh wow,
that's you know, that's pretty that's pretty great. You know
(12:25):
how you already got a restaurant. Oh well, how'd you
pull that off for that many people? I mean, I
can't even find a reservation for two much less that.
And I was like, okay, wow, okay, great, well, congratulations. Well,
in the next couple of days they crumbled in front
of their very eyes because somebody else said they couldn't go,
somebody said they didn't want somebody's kids there. All these
different things were going on, and so the plans changed
from being all these people going and they're having this big, wonderful,
(12:49):
you know, extravaganza, to nobody has any plans.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
And there was a part of me that felt bad
for them, but a part of.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Me that didn't honestly, because you know what it's like,
wait a second, I don't have anything going on, and
so when we think about fomo, it happens to the
best of us. You know, no matter if you're a
huge spiritual leader, it doesn't matter. Working on fomo is
very important. But I feel like I do feel like
NYE brings out the worst and everybody when it comes
(13:15):
to fomo, it brings out the worst because it is
so overly hyped. And when I return them, he starts
talking about things that we can do to not be
let down by New Year's Eve, things that we can
do to not get let down, to not feel bad,
to not beat ourselves up, and to literally turn the
page to a new chapter where we do things differently
(13:37):
this year and from here on out, we let go
of fomo when it comes to New Year's Eve forever.
So here, stay tuned, don't change the channel. We got
a lot of stuff to talk about because we're gonna
shrink the hype, We're gonna stop overvaluing this, and we
are going to make the best of this time of
year for us. Stay tuned, live your true life perspectives
(14:00):
with your host, med Ashley Burgess.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
Will be back in I'll be back this time, you
know it.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
In two shakes, turn it up and jump in the
deep end on perspectives.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Now here's Ashley.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Welcome back live to Ligature Life Perspectives and I'm your host,
Ashley Burgess. Let's not get let down by New Year's
Eve this year. Let's stop putting all that energy and
stop giving into all the hype. Let's take that back.
Let's take our energy and our power back, so we
don't have fomo. Fomo is at the absolute pinnacle of
(14:48):
its worst on December thirty first, and I find that
the lead up from Christmas and Hanaker whatever you're celebrating,
the stress level begins to mount the closer we get
to the thirty first, because all these people are doing
this crazy stuff and people are going out and partying
and taking trips and flying places and all this stuff.
(15:10):
And you're like, wow, I'm home and uh, you know,
and then you start questioning to do I have any friends?
Speaker 3 (15:15):
You know? Where are my friends? What am I doing?
What can I do?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
And it's challenging and you start like figuring. You start
trying to like put it all together. You try to
start doing something, You try to put something together, try
to cobble cobble something together, you know. I think that
that's a great word, cobble when we try to cobble,
you know, New Year's Eve, because it's like you really are.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
You're like, you're like, okay, hey are you home? Okay?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Yeah, okay, you around, okay, Yeah, let's let's all let's
do okay, you you in okay?
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
And it's almost like in a roll call, and you're
trying to figure out and you're exasperated. After a certain point,
I don't even know what the hell I'm gonna do anymore.
And you know, and that's when you're like, okay, what
are we doing here? And I found that I feel
like that anxiety and that stress, And I think a
lot of people get sad, even it's not just fomo.
I mean some of you get sad. You get sad,
(16:02):
You get sadness around your years, even sad because it
doesn't live up to the hype. You get sad because
maybe you can't hang out with that person. You get
sad because things have changed and augmented in your life
and you're over there just like kind of thinking about it,
thinking about it, thinking about it, you know, ruminating it,
ruminating it, ruminating and those are things we don't want
to do either. We don't want to ruminate in our
sadness either. We want to really take our energy and
(16:25):
try to figure out how do I take this energy
do I have? How do I take this mental energy
that I have and focus on something that can benefit
me in a positive way that I can do to
change my life and I can do to walk into
January first feeling better, feeling more aware, feeling more on point.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
How do I do that? What do I do?
Speaker 2 (16:54):
And these are very very important questions to ask because
if you're feeling like disappointed because many of us have
the expectations, and then like what happened to me last year?
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Yes, I mean there were still folks there.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
But again it's like you know other people are involved,
and you feel you know how other people are feeling too,
because you're like, hey, I hate to relay the message,
but I just found this out. And the hard thing
was about that night in particular, is you know my
one friends like, no, you know what, I'm gonna try
to get down there. I'm gonna try to get down there.
And things kept changing and so it was like hype
and more hype and more hype, and then it was like, okay,
(17:28):
well let's just go home. We ate great, great to
see you, goodbye. And it just was like it was
almost like the failure, like the night didn't you know,
it didn't fly. It didn't it didn't go off, it
went there was a hitch and and everybody kind of
feels it because they want everything to be perfect and
that fomo.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
It's like you look around and you go gush.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
You know, it would have been better if you know,
maybe we should have just done individual things. Everybody just
done their own dinner, you know, also a fomo you
see you know some people having big parties.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Oh they had this huge party. It's great.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
And it's like it's interesting because the issue that I
have a lot of times during this type of situation
is that part of me wants to kind of just
do my own thing. I don't really want to deal
with everything. I just want to do my own thing it.
Some of me wants to see friends and hang out
but it's like I kind of want to just kind
of like not make such a big hype about it.
It's like, why is it such a big deal. I mean,
(18:21):
it's really any day and we have all these calendars
in Gregoring, calendar, the Buddhist calendar, none of the calendars
are the same. How do you even know it's the
summer thirty first? Anyway, we're all just giving it all
this accreditation and this credibility. This is actually the day,
and it's actually the.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Beginning of a year. It could be in the middle
of the year. We don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
I mean, we're falling hyped all this up and so
kind of putting in perspective is the way that I
want us to talk about here in.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Just a bit.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
How do we do that? How do we really put
this time and date and perspective. How do we begin
to limit the stress level surrounding this date starting right now?
And how do we augment that forever? Because I think
if we can get a handle on this, the season
actually feels better because there's not that big of a
It's like, Okay, hey, I'm gonna celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah,
(19:03):
but after that, I'm okay, I can just chill and
I can just fly into the new year being successful
and maintaining my motivation and working to be the best
version of me I can be.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Stay tuned, don't change the channel.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Ligature life perspectives, with your host me Ashley Burgess, will
be back in I'll be back this time and two shakes.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
This is Jake Busey and you're listening to Perspectives with
Ashley Burgess.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Welcome back live to Ligerture Life Perspectives and I'm your
host Ashley Burgess. The letdown of New Year's Eve is
very real, and it happens to most of us. Some
of us revere the date, others of us hate the date.
Some of us stress out about it in the build
up of the expectations of what it's supposed to be
and how it unravels in front of your very eyes.
And not every year. There's some years you have a
(20:03):
fabulous time. But then if you do have a fabulous time,
you compare that fabulous time to every year after. And
it's interesting how that works. And what I found is
that there's so much hype surrounding December thirty first, and
the build up to it is so overwhelming and stressful
that many times we lose sight of what is important.
(20:25):
We lose sight of what we need to do, we
lose sight of where we need to go, we lose
sight of what we should do, and so we get overwhelmed.
We try to find friends, we recruit people.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
What are you doing? Are you in town? Let's do this,
let's do that.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
And you start trying to organize something or you just
give up and you're like, I don't want to do this.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
This is stressful.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
And you know, I'm deemed to be at home by
myself alone for New Year's Eve, and these can be
overwhelming feelings. And I find that Christmas or Hanukkah, whatever
holiday that you you know, choose to celebrate, can be
stressful around you know, the family and the dynamic and everything.
But when you add the New Year's issue, and you
add that thirty first in cause of stress, anxiety, fear,
(21:07):
and it begins to become a problem. And I think
if we can actually direct our energy in a different way,
begin to see that day is just another day. And
I'm not saying we devalue it. I'm just like, see
it as another day. Like March first, do you go
out and freak out and call your friends and try
to figure out what you're gonna do on March first?
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Oh my god, it's March first. Oh my god, Oh
my god, oh god, I got fomo oh I got
so much fomo. Oh God, Oh what am I gonna do? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:38):
But the fear of missing out is such a big
game player with this hype.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
It really is. I mean, it really is.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
And that's one of the big things is trying to
remove that fomo because fomo really does leave like a
bad taste in your mouth. Right. It's like everybody else
is having a blast and here I am just sitting
on my butt. Everybody else is doing this and having
a big party, watching fireworks and doing this and doing that,
and here I am having a beer. Yeah, And it's
it's like really putting it in perspective. And so how
(22:11):
do we begin to look at the big picture and
take the hype out of this? How do we begin
to look at the big picture and say, hey, does
this really matter?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
You know?
Speaker 2 (22:20):
And I think one of the big things that I
do is that helps me with issues in my life
is I ask myself, is this going to be an
issue in three days? And if I say yes, it's
going to be an issue in three days, I'm still
going to feel it. Is there going to be pain
in three days?
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Is this going to be an issue in seven days?
Am I still going to feel the pain?
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Probably not.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
I mean, you know, you got to think about it.
Is this gonna be an issue in a month? Is
this gonna be an issue in a year? You know,
these are a way that I kind of relatively stress
about things and put things in basically not stressed, but
put things in perspective.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
You know, is this going to.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Affect me for a year. Is this gonna affect me
for six months? Is this gonna affect me for a month.
Is this gonna affect me for two weeks? Is this
gonna affect me for a day? What is the affect level?
And I find that too. One of the things is
that I find that, you know, the more we can
actually focus inner and in ourselves and the internal energy
(23:12):
and focusing on what is important to us, what we value.
If we can focus on what we value, we take
the energy out of it. We take the energy out
of it, We deflate the thirty first. I don't I'm
(23:33):
not trying to, you know, say oh we should hate
on it, and all of a sudden, I'm just saying, hey,
let's just put it in perspective. It's one day. There's
all these calendars. You got the Gregorian calendar, the Buddhist calendar.
You got allays calendar. We don't even know. I mean,
we all think that it's December thirty, first coming up,
and it may or may not be, who knows. But
it's just a day, and it's a day to start
another year. And you know, some of you say same shit,
different day anyway, which I don't agree with because I
(23:54):
think we need to be in the moment.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
But you know, it's just another day.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
So we kind of put in perspective, we look at, Okay,
what is it that I really want to be doing tomorrow?
What can I do to basically, you know, celebrate the
last year, the last day of the year in a healthy,
somewhat healthy manner. Because the other side of the coin too,
as many of you are trying to stop something, you know,
(24:20):
whether it's smoking or drinking or whatever it is, and
you know, this is one of the hardest days to
do that, I mean, and it's really hard to like
stop something after you know, the night before you were
like over indulging in that whatever that was. And so
again it's like, are we going to put ourselves in
the right trajectory for change? You know, are we going
(24:44):
to put ourselves in the right mindset, you know, like
you know, the correct mindset for change. And I think
that's so important to think about, what is the correct
mindset for change?
Speaker 3 (24:59):
How do we get there?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
And I know that, you know, I know that, you know,
like you know, spending all night being sick and throwing
up is definitely not the mindset for change, right, I mean,
that's that. And I know that some of y'all have
been there, and I know we've all been there. Let's
just be honest with it. But I mean, that's not
where I want to be come, you know, one to
one thinking about where I want to be at. That's
(25:21):
not where I want to be in my life. That's
not where I want to be at when I wake
up going oh God, oh help me, please please. You know,
I'll go around and tell everybody never to drink God
save me, help me. I don't want to be there.
That's not where I want to personally be. So how
do you make sure that you don't go there? How
do you make sure that you actually enjoyed some degree?
It's not about like, oh, let's just shut down and
(25:43):
act like it doesn't exist, go to bed at eight
o'clock and call tonight. That's not what I'm saying, but
I think that there has to be some sort of
personal ceremony perhaps where you you know, you sit there
and you go, Okay, hey, you know, I look at
some of the things that I'm grateful for. You know,
(26:07):
I acknowledge, I acknowledge what I am grateful for.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
I think that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
You know, maybe you also acknowledge the pain you had,
maybe some of the suffering you went through this year.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
I'm not saying that we don't.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
I don't want anybody ruminating, but you can accept the
fact that.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
You went through it.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
And then I think, you know, what do you want
to see in the new year? What do you want
it to look like? What does it look like to you?
Speaker 3 (26:40):
What do you want? You know? What do you want?
Speaker 2 (26:44):
You know?
Speaker 3 (26:44):
WDYW what do you want?
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Think about that? Because those are important questions to ask.
And I think that when we're too busy trying to
figure out what's the best party, or who should you
invite and who should come to this and where you
should get the reservations and God forbid, this happened or
that happened all this, it's like we get lost in
the shuffle of what we're really doing. We get loss
of what we're trying to create. We get lost and
(27:09):
and and and and that's and and that's kind of
we get lost in our own thoughts, our own mind,
our own situations, all those things that become a problem.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
And that's what I think is very important.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I think that's very important that we acknowledge the fact
that this gets as off target. We acknowledge the fact
that we focus on what doesn't matter. The fact that
last year the people bailed at the last minute, creating
not the perfect situation really sucks, and and it could
have been done days before. You know, let's just acknowledge that.
(27:39):
And I think that's one of the issues, but it.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Is what it is.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
But you know, all that, and then the stress of
you know, okay, well I got this, and now you
know the restaurant and the stress and you know, and
then okay, can does other people want to make it
and they can't make it? And all of a sudden,
all of that together is just too burdensome. It's just
it's a burden. And in that process of the burden,
I didn't have time to look at what I'm grateful for.
(28:03):
I didn't have time to accept and to you know,
congratulate myself for getting over the pain and suffering.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
I went through the year before, you know.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I didn't think about, oh, hey, what do I want
to accomplish you know this year coming into the new year.
I didn't have any time for that because I was
too busy dealing with the stress of one day.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
One day.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
You don't sit there on September twentieth, you know, going
to dinner with people and freak out like that level
on September twentieth, That's not a big deal. I'm just
pulling a random day out of my out of my
hat here, I'm not wearing a hat, but she's shown
saying so it's like, okay, so what why does this
become so important? And so I think if we actually
put our energy into those types of things and really
(28:43):
catching when fomo rears, it's ugly ahead because it's gonna
show up no matter all the work we do. It
doesn't matter. It's just, you know, we've been trained to
feel that way. We've been trained to have that fomo.
We've been trained to wonder what everybody else is doing.
We've been trained to think that what we're doing is
not that important. We've been trained to feel like other
people are doing more than we are. We've been training
(29:04):
that over time. It's part of the game makes the
hype continue. Right If people were all hyped out and
they're like, okay, cool, you know, I think I'm gonna
go to my nearest grocery store and make a cool
dinner and hang out and have maybe a glass of
wine or two and chill and go to bed at
a proper time and get up and be ready for
the first and set my you know, set my heights
(29:25):
on some stuff and really focus on my motivation.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
Everything would be a little different. You know, most of.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
These clubs would be out of business, These restaurants wouldn't
be making all this money.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
You know, the stress level.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
You know, the anti you know, anti depressant drugs wouldn't
be doing as well. You know, the anti anxiety drug
companies wouldn't be doing as well.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I mean, you got to keep the hype going on.
This has got to stay.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
It's got to stay because this keeps everybody going right,
keeps everybody on edge, right, keeps everybody stressed out. You know,
Oh my gosh, I'm already stressed out about Christmas because
I'm not going to see family, or on the other side,
for some of you, I'm all stressed out about Christmas
because I'm gonna see a bunch of family that I
don't really like, get along with, and have some issues with.
And now I gotta I gotta buck up to that.
And then when I get home, I gotta figure out
(30:04):
what I'm gonna do for New Year's. You know, I'm
either single and I feel like I'm alone. What am
I gonna do then? Or I'm recently divorced, or or
I'm recently dating somebody but we're not there yet so
that you know, can't do that, or or I got
kids and there's no babysitters on the planet. You know,
whatever it is, it is what it is.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
We all are dealing with something. All of us have
something in our life that we're dealing with. All of us.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Do you know, maybe our health, maybe our health is suffering,
you know, I mean, maybe there's a financial crisis in
your life right now. These are the things that we
have to think about. And we don't need to like,
you know, oh, just sitting and wallowing it, But we
have to accept that and go, know, hey, maybe that's
in the way of this year me celebrating. But how
can I celebrate on a small level, How can I
(30:46):
do something for myself to really focus on a personal
ceremony of what I'm grateful for, you know, pattying myself
on the back.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
For the pain and suffering. Now I've gone through. We've
all gone through paint and suffering this year. Guys.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Everybody has, I have, you have, We all have, and
some of it has been pretty bad. And some of
it has been bad that you haven't had anybody to
talk to about it. You got no bad person to
talk to about it. You got to keep it all inside.
Some of you go to a therapist or counselor coach
like me, which is very helpful because you can talk
about it. There's no judgment, you know. If you'd like
(31:25):
to work with me, just go to Ashley Burgs dot
com ashleyb e er g Ees dot com and click
on that coaching session page and you can set up
at a point right. Then you can also go to
that contact page Ashley Burgess dot com click on contact
orf you want to send me a message prior if
you have any questions or thoughts that you would like
to ask me before scheduling an appointment with me. But
(31:46):
you know, if you have that, you know option, that's great,
but you know, and you're able to talk about it.
But again, even if you're able to talk about it,
you still went through the paint and suffering that you
went through, and so giving yourself a pat on the back, Hey,
I got through it. I made it, you know, I
went through that. Now, okay, that we've gone through this,
how do we want the new year to look? How
do I want this new year that I am dealing with?
(32:09):
How do I want this to look in my life?
What do I want? How do I want this to look?
And I think that this is very important to acknowledge.
This is very important to understand. These are the things
we need to acknowledge in our life. And if we
can take that energy of the burden and the fear
that you know, John and Alisha's not gonna make the party,
and so and so's gonna cancel the last minute, and
(32:31):
you're gonna freak out because you got to tell the
restaurant that you don't need eight people. You got four,
and you had to you know, just you paid specially
ahead to get this done. And now this isn't gonna work,
and now what are you gonna do? And ah, so
many things out one time. And that's where I feel like,
why do you want to deal with all that when
we can actually just focus on some things that need
(32:52):
to be focused on and so let's prepare for that.
How do we get prepared for that? How do we
begin to re focus our brain? After how many years?
I mean it could be many of you been doing
this New Year's thing for twenty years, thirty years, forty years,
fifty years, sixty years, you know, how do.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
We reprogram our brain.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
To be able to see things clearly, to be able
to start formulating thoughts, and to be able to start
thinking about how we want the year to look, how
do we want this year to look? How do we
want things to go? So I would actually, if you can't,
get yourself a calendar and start creating a timeline, and
I actually put on the top of each date, so
(33:38):
you know, like on the twenty six, you know, I
put something you know today like today's date, and you
put something like all the way through the year, especially
in December, I'm going to start working on acknowledging what
I'm grateful for I'm going to think about what I
want this year to look like. You know, WDYW what
do you want?
Speaker 3 (33:57):
What do I want?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
And I want you to start thinking about that. Put
it in the calendar. So when you sit there and go,
oh my god, what am I going to do? What
are we going to do for New Year's Eve? What
am I going to do for yours? Try to if
if you got something easy, breezy to do, great, if
you can do the easiest plan, do it, but really
focus this energy on that, focus it because remember, everybody
else is stressed out, everybody else is anxious.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
You got all kinds of things going on.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
So you got all these cards stacked against you to
make these things work. You got all the cards stacked
against you for things to really work out that night.
It's just the way it is, right and it's just
the night. And that's the big, big kind of you
know rub I think is accepting that and saying, okay, hey,
what can I control? Well, you know what, I can
(34:44):
control myself. I can decide what I'm doing. I can
control myself. I can get things for myself. If I
want a few people to come, great, if they show up,
great if they don't okay either way. You know, how
do I want to feel? Where do I want my
head to be? How do I want my headspace to be?
How do I want to feel emotionally, mentally and physically?
What do I want to focus on?
Speaker 3 (35:04):
You know?
Speaker 2 (35:04):
How do I get myself into the feeling of a
personal ceremony and really focus on that and start writing
things down. I would get a journal and start thinking
about it right now, you know, start thinking about And
this is something you can use every single year. And
this is something you can use around anything that provides
stress in your life, any date or time that provides
stress in your life, like a birthday or even Christmas
(35:26):
or any of these types of days.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
These are things that you can.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Do to really take back your energy and focus on
what really matters. I got more coming up, so stay
tuned Live your True Life Perspectives with your host me,
Ashley Burtis, will be back in I'll be back this
time in two shakes.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Get in here. You're listening to Perspectives with Ashes.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Welcome back live to Liberty Life Perspectives and I'm your host,
Ashley Burgess. New Year's Eve, December thirty first, can be
well painful. It can be stressful, overwhelming. Plans don't come together,
things fall apart at the last minute, and there you
are over overwhelmed, upset and filled with fomo. And you know,
(36:25):
many of us get fomo. That's normal. We get because
the fear of missing out, the fear of missing out,
you know, the fear of other people having all this fun,
We're not having any fun and really focusing on the
wrong things. And that's why I feel like the hype
of December thirty first needs to be just deflated completely.
It's another day and we need to look at it
as another day entering into this new year, and focusing
(36:47):
on the fact that we can focus on what we
want this new year to look like, what we want
in this new year, What are the experiences that we
want to experience in this new year. How do we
see ourselves growing in this new year? And this is
so powerful and so if we have that personal ceremony,
if we have gratitude and acknowledge what good went on
(37:09):
this year, the good things that happen, and think about
all the time we have. We're not super focused on,
you know, so and so making the dinner or having
this big party or planning this big trip, how we
can actually like experience what we want. And I know
that many of you are also wanting to quit something,
whether it's smoking weed or vaping or cigarettes, or alcohol
(37:31):
or drugs or whatever it is that you want to
quit in your life. And this is one of the
hardest times because, you know, the night you want to
party hardy and do all this stuff. But it's hard
because the very next day you're starting to feel bad.
You're feeling guilty, You're feeling shame, like it's just like
a double whammy for a.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Lot of people.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
You know you have fun, but yet you're feeling shame
and feeling bad going into the new year. You know,
basically comatos you know had been throwing up, feeling horrible,
is super horrible, eating badly, having pizza at three am.
You know what I'm saying, all these kind of things
and feeling bad. So why do we want to do that?
And I think if we can look at a personal
ceremony and say, hey, it's just another day to give
(38:08):
a reason to party. If I want to interact with
people and I want to have people, that's great. You know,
if I have family members, great, if I have friends,
that join me.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
Great.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
If I don't, that's fine too. And then how do
I really focus that energy on what I can actually
focus on? How do I focus on the new year,
How do I focus on bettering myself? How do I
focus on accomplishing my goals? And how do I accomplish
those goals this year? And I hope that this has
been a valuable podcast and radio show for you, because
(38:38):
I feel like it's necessary. I feel like the stress
and anxiety that comes from planning December thirty first, and
the things that go wrong and the things that don't
work and the things that fall by, the fall through
the cracks are just so painful, and it just leaves
a bad taste in your mouth for the whole last year.
And it's like, why do we want to do that?
We want to step into this next year, you know
feeling very positive, you know, feeling very powerful, you know,
(39:01):
feeling empowered, motivated.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
We want to walk in with.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
All those great feelings, not the other way around. And
I feel like when we give too much power to
the fomo, too much power to the hype, that's exactly
what's gonna happen. We are going to be let down,
We're gonna feel less, We're gonna feel stress, We're just
(39:28):
none of this is like positive coming out of this.
So we want to augment that, make those changes feel better,
create that reality, and go into the new year feeling
good about ourselves and our contributions. And I hope that
you have a beautiful end of the year. I hope
you have a great start to the year. And you
(39:49):
know it is it's every day is just a day.
It's another day on our path. No matter what day
it is, it's another day on our path. It's another
day to figure out who we are. You know, WD
YW What do you.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Want in your life? What do you want? Think about that.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Use this time and use your effort and power to
focus on what do you want and how will you
get it? You know, how will you make it a reality?
I look forward to hearing from any of you this year.
If you'd like to contact me, just go to Ashley
Burgers dot com, click on that contact page and send
(40:30):
me a message.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
I'll get back to you asap.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
If you'd like to work with me, go to Ashley
Burgers dot com again go to coaching session and you know,
just go to your coaching session page click on that.
I also have therapists working with me as well that
can also work with you that have specializations. So we
have you know, Erica, Leah, and Lisa, and all of
them have specializations and they all can help. So if
(40:53):
you have a question or you want to like to
know more about them or more about my work, definitely
reach out on that contact page.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
And I look forward to hear from you.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Anything I can do to help you make this year,
next year better, Anything I can do to help you
motivate and contribute to your health and happiness and balance.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
That is exactly what we want, and I want.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
You to have the absolute best holidays, the absolute best
thirty first, but the right way with the energy directed purposefully,
purposely is where we want to direct our energy, and
I find that very powerful. If you haven't already, you know,
get involved, get on Instagram. We're on Instagram, Asley Burgess, Facebook,
Ashley Burgess, Twitter x Ashley Burgess, TikTok Ashley Burgess. So
(41:36):
let me know, look forward to hearing from you. I
hope you have a wonderful day and I hope that
this show has resonated with you. Please share with anybody
that's going through fomo stress anxiety around this time of year.
Because this is very real, Stay tuned, live it at
your life perspectives with your host me Asthley Burgess will
be back in I'll be back this time.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
You know it.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
I'll be back this time in three shakes the pup
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