The Big Moe Podcast - Episode 204

Handling grief after the passing of Dylan Straughn

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:13):
It's a Big Mo podcast on w MOOE and the
Molar Broadcasting Network. Big Mo Beartt and Andy Nagel, and
we're gonna maybe table some of the energy and fun
we typically have on a Big MO podcast and really
focus on what it is and what's happening here at Moeller.
Of course, the passing of Moeller sophomore Dylan Strawn class

(00:36):
at twenty twenty eight. For those that were not aware,
tragically killed an accident that occurred on Sunday. He passed yesterday.
Our students were notified. Andy and I just didn't think
it was right on this show to go business as normal.
Yet I thought it'd be a good chance to just

(00:56):
kind of honor Dylan and perhaps check it in here
a bit later with Shila Monopho, who is the founder
and executive director of Companions on a Journey, which is
a grief support group that's twenty five years old. Shila
is a Moller mom. Pat Buckley also on the board

(01:17):
as well and a big proponent of that organization. They
have Greek grief groups here at Moler. We're gonna get
Shila on just talking about the grief process, perhaps maybe
helping some parents out at home listening, maybe there's alumni
out there or even a student listening and kind of
walking them through that grief process. Then we're gonna get
Tom hurtlined in here, Andy and talk to Tom. He's

(01:37):
the chair of the counseling department here at Molar and
the opportunities that our young men have here as they
go through this process as well. But it's a tough week.
But I said this, and I hope people take this
into spirit that I say it. It's times like this
that Molar shines brightest.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Well everybody, I mean, it's times like these to quote
the food Fighters in that song. But you're right, Bart,
it is tough week. It's tough getting that news. You know,
none of us are going to escape the ultimate end,
but when it's when it's a tragedy like this or

(02:18):
it's a it's a situation, yeah, it's tough. And to
have that. I know you've gone through that with your brother, Aj.
My mom passed away and my brother was actually a
sophomore here at Heights at Molar, so I know the power. Now.
We didn't have that grief group back then in nineteen

(02:38):
ninety one when she passed, but the power of the community.
And I know a lot of the schools have reached
out to MOLAR, but to have that prayer service was
really powerful yesterday talking to some parents last night and
some alumni, you know, just as simple and I thought

(03:00):
that was neat how we did the sign a piece
during that prayer service, and it gave everybody a chance
to touch people, hug people, and and and that is
that is very powerful. Just just a simple hug. You
don't have to say words, but know that you have
my back, You're there for me, I'm there for you.

(03:21):
It really is. And I know Sheila's going to talk
about a lot of that, the grief process, and everybody
grieves different. What I try to share with people in
my own experience is to continue, and it's tough at first,
but to continue to talk about that person good times,
bad times, the fun times. It is very difficult to

(03:45):
open up that way, especially at first. Your raw man,
it's emotional. You're going through the anger, the guilt, and
the sadness and that whole all those phases and you
never get over it. Your brother passed away years my
mom passed away thirty plus years ago. You never get
over that. But it gets the tears of sadness become

(04:07):
tears of joy the more you talk about lost loved
ones and to have you know, I always tell people
just surround you yourself with family and friends and just
give in to them, give in to the Lord.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
You talked about this the prayer service, and my son
even commented, he said, Dad, it was unbelievable. You put
nine hundred and fifty boys in that gymnasium even a mass.
When they come out of Mass and they walk back
to their classrooms, it's like Times Square. It's loud. The
kids are jabbing each other back and forth. Yesterday, after

(04:43):
that that prayer service, you could hear a pin drop
in the every hallway. There was the somber I'll say
respect that each young man knew of that moment, and
it was there was a lot of tears. It was
a that to me me even more than the prayer service,
which was beautiful. They did a great job. John Huff

(05:06):
and I'm not sure who else was in Clayton Graham
put that prayer service together, did a phenomenal job. But
that moment when those kids walked out, they knew the
gravity of what was happening. Yeah, and it was powerful.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah. And you know, before this happened, you didn't know Dylan.
I didn't know Dylan personally. But it just goes to
show you what kind of effect the person can have
on a community. I mean, you got nine hundred boys here,
you have all the schools in this area, all over
the place we're hearing from. It has had a profound

(05:43):
effect and maybe it gets people to stop and pause.
And I have always said this. You know, I was
born and raised Catholic, obviously, I went to Catholic grad school,
Catholic high school. I went to Catholic College at Walsh
College up in North Campton and kind of got away
from my eighth a little bit. As you know, it's
a world. Life kind of got in a way, which

(06:05):
is a bad excuse, but it, you know, it took.
It took a situation, not so much a tragedy, but
a situation to you know, get me back to that faith. Yeah.
And and for the past two plus years, man, it's
been a beautiful journey for me. And sometimes and it

(06:25):
and it hit me when when my situation happened in
twenty twenty three. You know, you you often question why
do good things happen or why do bad things happen
to good people? And and and I think it's a
it's a way for the Lord to bring you back home.
You know, you always have a place with him, good times,
bad times, whatever, give me those burdens, and and I

(06:48):
will make your load lighter. And it is true. And
and just hope that a tragedy like this can increase
disciples of Christ and get people to come back to
the church, to come back to prayer. And if that happened,
I mean, you know, our Lord made the ultimate sacrifice

(07:09):
for humanity. If that can happen, man, it's just you
got to look at the good in that. And he
is in a better place, a place that we're all
trying to get to. But it doesn't take away the
pain of the moment.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, there's and there's certainly a lot of pain. No parent,
as they say, should ever have to bury their child,
no classmate, no student should ever have to bury a classmate.
So it goes against everything that is supposed to be.
But there's a guy greater who's in charge. So we're
going to talk to Shila Monopho. We're gonna go to
a break, come back, talk to Shila Monophos. She's incredible

(07:43):
and I think she will give peace of mind and
maybe a little bit of direction of how to navigate
this grief process. You're listening to the Big Mo Podcast
Andy Nagel, Big Mo Beart. We'll be back with Shila
on w MOE and the Molar Broadcasting Network. A big
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(08:06):
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Big Bo. Welcome back to the Big Mo Podcast and

(09:02):
we are blessed at this time to have the founder
and executive director of companions on a journey more importantly
a moler mom. Shila Monofo on the Big Mo Podcast. Sheila,
thanks for joining us and taking some time. I know
you're on your way to a meeting, but you're giving
us some time this morning. We appreciate it.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
Sheilla, you know firsthand first and foremost you were on
you've been on campus. You've been kind of a front
row seat through this ever since the news broke on Sunday,
and it was really I loved what you guys did
for our faculty and staff after school yesterday. And the
first thing I heard you say is to the faculty

(09:46):
and staff is you need to take care of yourself.
And I think, in what I've done in a previous career,
in order for these students to be taken care of,
the faculty and staff have to take care of themselves
first so they can give the students what they need.
I mean, is that an accurate statement.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Absolutely, it's accurate because unless we do take care of ourselves,
we really can't take care of others, you know, and
we have to address our own grief as well, and
sometimes that's quickly, but you know, we do need to
have that moment where we take care of ourselves.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
So what you know, we're forty eight, you know, sixty
some hours into this. The students were notified yesterday of
Dylan's passing. And you've been doing this for a long
In fact, we're going to be producing a story on
companions on a journey here in November twenty five years now.
You you've been around. How are these kids feeling it? Everybody?

(10:40):
You know that we all know that they everybody And
I love how you said yesterday that there's no roadmap
for grief. But where are these young men at right
now in that grieving process?

Speaker 3 (10:50):
From your experience, Well, I think for a lot of them,
they're just loss. I mean the shock first of all
of this happening to Dylan, you know, but then the
second to someone who was their age, their friends, you know,
their confidant. You know that they hung out with day
and day in and day out, and to have that
person gone so quickly, I think that's shocking to them,

(11:13):
you know, And sometimes they don't know how to process it,
you know, it takes time to be able just to
absorb the fact that it is. Business has taken place
and they just need people to be able to listen
to them for a lot of us. For Dylan was
also a member of our Companions on a journey grief group.
His mother had died several years ago, and so for us,

(11:35):
we were with him about seven days ago. And you know,
and for that even members of the kids that have
been in that grief group coming up to me and
just saying, are we getting together because we really need
to just process this, you know, and they don't know
how to process it at this age, you know, I mean,
as we get older, even as we're older, you know,

(11:57):
we're not processing grief, you know fully, you know, the
comprehending it. You know, it's just like, did this really happen?

Speaker 1 (12:06):
What are some things is primarily parents are going to
I think, be listening to this. Probably not many kids,
if any metamor were listening. So I guess a message
from you to the parents, things conversations they can have
with their sons, opportunities these young men have inside the
school here through campus ministry and certainly the counseling offices

(12:30):
that the chapel. As I posted last night, what is
your message to the parents and walking their sons through
this process?

Speaker 3 (12:38):
Well, I think, first of all, to give them great
you know, they're going to have all different kinds of
feelings and emotions that can be quiet and they want
to stay in their room. But to be able to
talk to them and just asking, you know, I can't
imagine what this might be like for you. Can you
tell me what's going on in your mind? You know?
Did you know? Dylan?

Speaker 4 (13:01):
You know?

Speaker 3 (13:01):
And to validate that there are lots of feelings and
enough to come with greed, but to be able to
let them know that, you know, it's okay to talk
about it, and it's okay to be okay, and it's
okay not to be okay because a lot of times
for teenagers, you know, the process of segments. You know,
so they want to be with their friends, and that's

(13:22):
not any you know that they don't want to be
with their parents, but they need to be around the
kids their age to be able to talk about the
memories and share the times that they've had with doing so,
I think in parents giving that grace to their students,
their children, but they're also too to be able to
have the routine. You know, it might be hard to

(13:45):
go to the school, the routine is important.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
You just segued into my next question, because I think
there's an inherent guilty feeling, maybe not just for students
but even myself of getting back into the routine, is
that it disreservice or a disrespect to doing. But in
the grieving process you mentioned yesterday just how important that is.

(14:07):
There is still the reverence of what happened, honoring him,
which we will certainly do, but there is an element
of getting back into the routine and that being healthy
for all of us.

Speaker 3 (14:18):
Correct, yes, it is, and it might not be that
routine might not be day one or day two, you know,
it will be a few days afterwards and stuff, because
right now nobody really knows what's going to take place
with his service, you know, And so the kids right
now are in that limbo. So I think be heable
they have that routine to be able to go to school.

(14:39):
They might not be at their best. They might not
be able to focus, you know, they might have a
hard time remembering what they're doing or not being able
to complete their homework, are having difficulty with their tests,
and so really I think we have to do as parents
to be able to say a lot of times these
things can happen, but it's very important for you to

(15:00):
share with me what is going on, you know, in
your mind and how you are processing it so that
I can help you in navigating through your grief, because
it may be you know, like a person who's close
to Dylan, or somebody who didn't even know Dylan but
may have had a previous loss, they have had a
brother that side, they maybe really have a hard time

(15:23):
being able to focus. Yeah, it open help me that voice.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
Yeah, and it opens up additional wounds, and you just
you'd be great at a podcasting here. Welcome me into
My next question too, is you don't have to be
the best friend of Dylan or a member of the
volleyball team or the marching band, because that, you know,
it opens up wounds. I mean, this is a classmate
to this guy. I mean, and I remember even in

(15:48):
my own brother's passing, and we've talked about this off air,
Sheila is as parents, that's a whole nother griefing project.
You know, my I have family that was grieving as well,
because you start to question your own kids mortality, your
own mortality. So it really extends well beyond even the
volleyball program, certainly the marching band. There are kids here

(16:12):
that are this is hitt home, perhaps kids that never
even got to personally meet Doyling. So I like how
you mentioned that yesterday, because everybody needs to wrap their
arms around their classmates and faculty staff. It's holistic.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
It is very holistic, and I think too for parents
to be able to share with their children, I'm worried
about you, and even if they're saying, mom, you know,
I'm not going out, I'm not doing this, I'm not
doing that, to be able to say that, grief sometimes
can cause us not to really think clear, and so
we really have to be careful when we are doing
things so that we don't make mistakes. Just like driving,

(16:48):
you know, you can be lost in thinking, you know
about what's taken place and go through a red light.
You know. Mind teil children make sure they do not
get on their cellphones, you know, when they're driving during
this time, because we just cannot focus. We're you know,
grief is foreign to teenagers. I mean, even though we
know somebody can die, you know, the fact that this

(17:11):
is one of their classmates, somebody that sat in their
room with them, or somebody that may have given them
a smile, you know, or just said hello, to them.
I mean, think about that. There are students that maybe
don't have a lot of friends, but maybe Dylan was
that one friend or that one person that would say
hello to that person that day, So that student could

(17:31):
be lost. So we really have to just make sure that,
like you said, we're wrapping our arms around all the students,
giving them the grace, helping them to get into a routine.
That doesn't mean the routine is going to be the
way it was before. It's going to take time, but
to be able to have them have that sense of
routine because you know, death and especially Dylan's death, we

(17:55):
have no control over it. So when we can have
the routine of getting up every morning, putting your two
feet on the floor, you know, brushing your teeth, taking
your shower, making your bed, going to school, all those
kind of things really help us when that day is chaotic,
you know and stuff. To be able to know that
I've got something that I have to do here. You

(18:17):
know that they're not as lost as what you could
be if you're sitting there and not having anything to do.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
Sill a beautiful words, very well said, and you're doing
the Lord's work. I'm just pleased to have this opportunity
to bring you on and just hopefully provide some support
for parents, for students, faculty, staff, and thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you. Well. I know you've been you
said you're going to be available for anybody in the

(18:45):
next days, weeks, and months and years to come. We're
blessed to have you part of the Molar family for sure.

Speaker 3 (18:51):
Right and then thank you Baron. And if anybody does
need support, we do have our Mending Hearts for grieving
children's teams, adults and families, and we also have consultations.
Anything that we can do to support our community and
to support Killin's family and the Molar family. We are
here for all of you.

Speaker 1 (19:09):
Share that website if you could. For folks I might
want to do that as a resource.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
Our website is www dot Companions on a Journey dot
do Archie and our number is five one three eight
seven zero nine to one at leak.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
Sheila, We love you. Thanks for taking some time on
the Big MO podcast. We appreciate you.

Speaker 3 (19:30):
Okay, thank you A couple of.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
At Shilamnofo, executive director, founder of Companions on a Journey,
you want to thank her for joining us on the
Big mo Podcast. When we come back, we will have
Tom Hurtline in the studio. Tom is the I don't
know what is official director. He's the head dog, the
head counselor down in the Molar Counseling offices, a Man

(19:53):
of Muller himself, class two thousand. Tom will join us
to talk about some of those resources in the building
for our guys as well, and maybe check in, you
know how these guys do it, Not going detail, but
just checking in and just kind of seeing the temperature
of the water. On this Wednesday day after the news
was shared to the passing of our Man of Moeler,
our brother, Dylan Strahan, class of twenty twenty eight. We'll

(20:17):
be back in just a few minutes on the best
coverage of Molar High School at w MOE and the
Molar Broadcasting Network. For electrical work at your home or business,
you can trust the pros at Craftsmen Electric, family owned
and operated by Molar grants. Craftsman Electric has been a
trusted name for over four years. Sign them at Craftsman
Electric dot com. Quality craftsmanship, It's in their names. Welcome

(21:04):
back to the Big Boat Podcast, Big Boat Beard along
with Andy Nagel and Andy. We had Sheila on some
great advice as as these parents walk through that. As
she said, no roadmap for grieving, but certainly some some hints,
not some hints, some tools that parents can harm themselves
as they go through that grieving process with their child.

(21:25):
Because Tom Hurtline now in studio with is Tom. Everybody
is different in how they handle grief, for sure, no
doubt about it.

Speaker 4 (21:35):
One of the things that we're blessed with here at
Moeller and in our school environment, beyond just having the
house system and all that that brings and the support
that our students get, is having a school counselor available
for every house we have a.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
That's a good point ever thought about that.

Speaker 4 (21:53):
Yeah, we we have a great team, great counseling department
down there where every student develops a relationship with their
counselor over their four years here at Molar to the
point where they're more comfortable coming to see us uh
and talk to us. And that that could be on
good days and and those those tough days like we

(22:15):
had yesterday.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
But what's unique with you, Tom, is your two thousand elum.
I mean Molar is in is in every Vene, you
have absolutely and and so you've seen this. These things
unfortunately they happen, and you've been there when they have happened.
And now you get to lead that process to help
these guys through a very difficult time. That so there's

(22:38):
there's it's not just a job for you, this is
this is deeply rooted into what you do.

Speaker 4 (22:43):
Absolutely, you know, I'm I'm here at Molars is a calling,
I would say, you know, and every day I'm here,
I'm grateful that I'm here, even on those tough days
like yesterday and.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
What I love so far and and and I think
Andy you mentioned it is and dudes inherently don't open up,
open up like like like I guess I would say,
girls do. But we have seen optically kids taking advantages
of the resources you guys have for.

Speaker 4 (23:14):
Them, right And I and I would say it's it's
not something that comes naturally, uh to male students in general,
And it's something that we have to, you know, get
them used to coming to Molar and and being comfortable
coming to the counseling.

Speaker 1 (23:28):
Office and comfortable to be uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
Absolutely well yeah, yeah, And I was talking earlier about
just our our prayer service yesterday. To me, it was
very It was powerful, but it was very It was
great to see the students open up to each other
and put an arm around each other and cry and
be there for each other. That's okay, man, that is

(23:52):
all right in situations like this, And everybody's going to
do it different whether you're emotionally or whether you keep
it in. But you know, from from your expertise with
with guidance, I know that there's no right or wrong
way to grieve. That everybody has to go through their
own process. But I'm sure you guys are on overdrive right.

Speaker 4 (24:14):
Now, right and I think you know, no matter how
much training a school counselor has for going through a
process like this, uh, you never know how it's going
to affect us.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
As a professional, right right.

Speaker 1 (24:29):
And I think Sheila and I love how she did
that yesterday. And when I was I was told in
my and when I went through things with the with
the hostage negotiation teams, and some of the things that
I learned is they always said, and Sheila mentioned it yesterday,
you have to take care of you first, because if
and when we went into fire to service, you know,
we don't if the firefighters don't take care of themselves,

(24:52):
they can't take care of the people they're going in.
So taking care from even initially before the students are
of involved, making sure the faculty and staff the resources
they need to also go through this process.

Speaker 4 (25:03):
Right, and you know, and going through any crisis situation,
we definitely have faculty members that will reach out to
us how.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Do I do this? Sure? And that's okay?

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Yeah, that is okay. And the fact that they're comfortable
enough to talk to us and ask us for guidance
on that, it's a it's a big deal. I'm not
sure every every school has that open line of communication
between the counseling department and the faculty. I would like
to think that they do. But I feel like, you know,

(25:36):
Moeler is a special place and and we're all a team.
We're all working together, we're all doing what's best for
the students, and we're here to support them.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
Barrett, I think you you brought up a great point
in all of us kind of taking care of ourselves first.
And and Father Tom hit a perfect yesterday when he
talked in the prayer service and when he said, you know,
the three most powerful words in the in the Bible,
and Jesus wept, you know, and that's uh, you know,
coming from the story of when Lazarus passed away and

(26:08):
Jesus got there, Mark, Martha and Mary, uh and and
he wept, And that's okay. You know, you see that
from from the adults, and you know, that just goes
hand in hand with taking care of ourselves, right.

Speaker 4 (26:21):
It shows the students that we're all human, that we
all have the same wide range of emotions when we're
delta blow like we were recently. But you know, I
think the students see that and they start to you know,
have some barriers broken down where they're they're willing to

(26:44):
show those outward emotions if they come to them, you know.

Speaker 1 (26:46):
And I think you you have certain you know, every kid,
and we talked about this with Sheila. It affects not
just Dylan's friends, but everybody. But having said that, there
are certain groups the band and that his men or
group that he was a part of as well, there
are certain certain groups of people that maybe you're just

(27:07):
a little your radars just a little more intense on correct.

Speaker 4 (27:10):
Absolutely that the mentor group and the mentor teacher maybe
uh that that first person that sees something, notices something
in a student is going to be that most immediate
face that they can turn to and talk to. And
you know, the mentor teachers, if they see that students

(27:32):
need some extra support, they can reach out to us
and and we can bring students down and talk to them.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
Also, let the parents know Shila did this, but also
if there's a parent listening to this, maybe give them
some information about where their kids can go if they're struggling.

Speaker 4 (27:48):
Absolutely that you're gonna see a wide range of emotions.
As we've mentioned several times now, you could see that
your son is is sad outwardly sad. Maybe your son
is just quiet, maybe at that point in grief where
he's just experiencing shock and and things don't feel real.
It's possible that he may show signs of anger. He

(28:11):
may be a little irritable when you talk to your
son at home, more than more than normal, more than
normal for a teenage boy. That's that's very possible. And
you know, we as as males, tend to, you know,
the feelings kind of grief, tend to manifest themselves in anger,
maybe a little bit more than typical. But anytime parents

(28:36):
see anything that seems a little out of the ordinary
at home, it should be a way to open up
communication with them and just say, hey, are you okay?
I notice that you seem a little angry. I notice
that you seem a little bit more withdrawn than than usual.
Let's talk.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Is it fair to say not just open up a
line of communication with them, that we are one team here,
open up at education with his counselor as well.

Speaker 4 (29:03):
Absolutely, so, as as parents notice things with their sons,
they should not hesitate whatsoever to to reach out to
their son's counselor, and we're happy to bring their son
in talk to them individually in our office and and
check in with them. If parents uh feel the need
to contact other teachers to give them a heads up

(29:25):
that they're struggling.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
You're not going to inconvenience. I hear so many parents go,
I don't want to say that you have to, because
what do they always say? It's it takes a community.
And if we if if a teacher isn't armed with
that information, we or you're not armed or I'm not
a we can't help help that kid through the process
to what he deserves.

Speaker 4 (29:48):
Right, We're all busy in this building. All of us
have lots of hats that we wear, but none of
us are too busy to help students. And you know,
if if we get contacted by a parent. Can't tell
you how many times I've been in the middle of
something else or you know, in a meeting and then
I get a phone call or a voicemail from a
parent that says, I would really like you to check

(30:10):
in with my son. You drop the other stuff, you know,
and you reach out to that student that might be
a need. And you know, sometimes as counselors will also
reach out to the teachers with the student and parents blessing,
just to let them know that there's something we don't
have to go into much detail, but there's something that's

(30:30):
that's bothering them, that's preventing them from being fully one
hundred percent focused on that class. And just for the
teachers to keep an eye on the students and if
they notice anything out a whack, then they can contact
us and we all work as a team.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
That's why this place is special. Good awesome, Tom, Thanks
for everything you do. I know this has been hard
for you. I'm sure as the entire counseling team. But
you guys do it with class, you do it with dignity,
and you do it really well.

Speaker 4 (30:58):
So thank you, thank you at the kind of words.
But uh, you know we're we're in it for the students,
just like everybody else that works here.

Speaker 1 (31:04):
Buddy, Amen, All right, now we're gonna take a break.
Thank Tom for joining us. Also, Shield, We're gonna be
andy and I will be back to wrap it up
on the other side of the break. It's the Big
Boat Podcast in memory of our Man of Molar, Dylan Strong,
Class of twenty twenty eight, in our thoughts and prayers.
We'll be back in just a moment. On w mo
OE and the Moller Broadcasting Network, Tyler.

Speaker 2 (31:27):
Jocelyn looked the catch and then well they got it done. Crusaders.
Barnes goes back.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
He oh, yes, a sick off Caleb code helip code
number line.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
He goes back to pass.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
He's under pressed.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
Oh they got him to Then they get it.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
I think that's Christian Harris.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
This week, your Crusaders look to get back on track
against Cleveland, saving Nacius. Coverage starts at six thirty on
w MOOE and the Molar Broadcasting Network.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
Back in a Big MO podcast. We want to thank
everybody for listening. Andy Sheila, I mean, just an incredible
resource for us here at the Mueller family. Tom Hertline
has really led our counseling department, our school through the
opportunities our young men have and we're blessed to have
both those people be in this Mueller family for sure.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
Yeah, all the counselors and I mean faculty and staff.
I mean we kind of got briefed with with Shila
yesterday at a faculty and staff meeting after school, and
just walking over here to the studio this morning, I
saw Alison Oakley, who's in that counseling department, who's gone
through her own tragedies in her life. And and Jack

(33:00):
when Summer's the art teacher, uh sitting with with two
guys on the hub steps, you know, just being there
for them and it's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
It's sad, but incredibly powerful and beautiful.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
And I you know a lot of kids are going
to compartment compartment and internally there you go, thank you
for the rest of me, the rescuing me, BC and
stuff to get words out these days, but a lot
of kids won't open up. But there's certainly we're going

(33:34):
going to encourage them to to open up. And it's okay.
You know, I think you know, when we when we
grew up. You know, a lot of a lot of
friends that I've talked to, they haven't experienced death. You know,
they're in their forties and fifties, and man, this first
time I've ever had anybody in my life or my
my life passed away. And it's I remember, you know,

(33:55):
when I was nine years old, my my uncle passed away.
That's the first memory of experiencing that also a loved one.
And we've all kind of been taught as males, especially
you can't show emotions. But I think that's changing that
climate for sure, and it's okay. It's okay for boys
and men to cry and express those feelings. There's nothing

(34:17):
wrong with that, doesn't make you any lesser of a person.
And I think having these groups and having these counselors
to be there for our guys is just phenomenal.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
And Sheila said yesterday, you don't have to solve their problem,
just got to listen.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
Just listen.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
And sometimes for guys, that's the hardest part because guys, inherently,
what do we want to do. We want to fix things.
We want to fix things, and sometimes they don't want
to be fixed, they just want to be heard, and
that's the most important thing. Annie, thank you so much,
Sheila Monofo Canoza, thank you so much for joining us
as well, Tom Hurtline as well. And we might next

(34:51):
week prior to the funeral, we might get I'd like
to get Melissa Evans on the Big Mo podcast maybe
share a little about who Dylan was. As you mentioned earlier,
I did not personally get to I've been around him,
but never got to personally engage him at all. I
know you haven't either, And just kind of let Melissa,
through the lens of her mentor group talk about a

(35:13):
little more who Dylan was.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
That would be very special and tarn Rupa, we'll.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
Both get him both on here and just let the
Muller family just and so it's just not a graphic
they see, They see the man that Dylan was. A
powerful story too. That on I think it was last Friday.
I heard this yesterday. Last Friday, he advised Melissa Evans
that he wanted to send an email that he had

(35:41):
this calling to be involved in campus ministry here at Mouler,
and he sent an email. I have not read it,
but he sent an email to the campus ministry department
telling them that next year he wanted to lead be
a leader in campus ministry. I mean, that's the Holy
Spirit right there. I mean, that's some good stuff. So
those stories are starting to come out, and it's it's beautiful.

(36:03):
So hopefully we can get Melissa and UH and perhaps
Terror and I know they're struggling right now. I've had
to give them their time to kind of a grieve
and go through their own grieving process, but it would
be nice to get them on to share some stories
about who Dylan was.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
And we want to thank everybody out there is no
doubt who listens to us and and UH that have
reached out on all of our social media channels, Barretts,
the school's mind alumni that that have sent their prayers
and thoughts UH, to Molar High School, to Dylan's family.
It's it's just been a it's been overwhelming, beautiful response,

(36:38):
one that you know, we kind of expected from our
from our Molar community and in the community of schools
around us, but it's still it's it's it's really heavy,
and and and overwhelming at the same time.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
And I can tell you I've I've personally talked to
Dylan's father, Paul. He is incredibly isn't even justified, immensely
appreciative of the Molar family and the support that they
have received from the More family. They see everything, they see,
the comments, they see the love, the go fundmes that

(37:11):
they are very keenly aware of the amount of love
and the arms that are wrapping their family right now.
So it's good stuff.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
Yeah, keep your keep your eyes on on all our
social media platforms. We will we will put the you know,
the details of the services coming up probably next week
as well.

Speaker 1 (37:29):
As absolutely Andy, thanks a lot tough subject, but this
one we have to talk about big well, we got
to talk about it. But it's it's it's sad and
beautiful all on the saale.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
It really is.

Speaker 1 (37:39):
So that's Andy Nagel again. Thanks Sheila and Tom Hernline
for joining us as well, and of course Joe Strecker
back at the iHeart Radio Controls. We'll be back next
week with more in depth water Wall coverage of Molar
High School, perhaps maybe a little more about our guy
Dylan Strong, God rest his soul. He will always be
a man of molar on w m O and the

(38:01):
more broadcasting network