243. A Boing-Boing Spring

"Beginner's Love," chapters 12-13. Molly and Jody immerse themselves in Norma Klein's YA novel about sexual awakening in 1983. Leda frees the nipple for Joel's fam, Angelica cries over her nun-addled past, and Berger thinks he's found his lady doctor. Jody and Molly talk about diaphragms, Girl Scouts, and a visit to Judy's (and Sally's!) childhood home in Miami Beach. Thank you to Blume Heads Lisa, Attia, and Anonymous for their great letters! It's a Judy Blume book club. Join us every week!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hi. I'm Jody and I'm Mollie and you're listening to
the Blue Saloon.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
It's a Judy Bloom book club. Hi.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
We are reading Hi, Hi, chapters twelve and thirteen today
of Norma Kline's Beginners Love. This came out in nineteen
eighty three, So everybody put on your time travel boots
and come back with us.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Really, wily, wily.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
How's it going, Mollie, it's going good.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
I'm so glad we baked in time to chat about
love is Blind before we started recording.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Yes we Oh, we spent forty minutes talking about love
is Blind.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Hey, we also talked about pajamas, so that has to
take up some of it. But yeah, it was mostly
love is Blind.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
There was one thing I didn't tell you when we
were talking. I was saving it. I am sitting in
my brand new podcast nook. Cool. I finally got a
table and a chair in there. Like, do I sound different?

Speaker 3 (01:25):
You?

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Do you sound more grown up? Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Okay, okay, well woman, now.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Oh my gosh, what makes up the perfect podcast nook
for you?

Speaker 1 (01:35):
So it is, Well, it's basically a closet in my office,
but it doesn't have a door on it. So it
seems more nookish than closety, you know. And it's got
a little window in it, so that's fun how it
feels like a room. And I don't have anything on
the walls yet. I'm gonna put up some soundproofing and

(01:58):
maybe a little curtain so I could draw it, you know,
to separate myself from the office. Oh nice, And then
I might put some you know, Judy Bloom paraphernalia on
the walls. That'll be fun.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
I love that. Are you sitting criss cross Apple's? Also
you have a chair in there.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
I have a chair, which is very new for me
because this whole time we've done Bloom Saloon, I pretty
much sat on the floor exclusively, so I didn't know that.
So I am a woman.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
Now what I really want you to do is I
want you to get one of those radio signs that
is like on air and put it above the closet.
That would be so good.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
I have to, I have to.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
I have to.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
I know you can get them on Etsy. I've seen them.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
Yeah. Will you take a picture of this because I
want to post it because I love looking at interiors.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
I will. But it really is just a table in
a closet. I don't care.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
That's the cocoon. That's the new cocoon, the new cocoon.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Oh and it has like a little I'm calling them Michelle,
but really it's a shoe rack that I'm using its shelves.
But it does have a stack of all my old
school yearbooks that my mom forced me to take out
of her house once and for all.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
My mom just forced me to take mine out of hers.
We should do a yearbook like a special episode.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yes, we should pick a random like inscription.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Oh my gosh, it's so fun and just read it.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
Because the things I was reading that my friends and
people I don't remember who they are. It was just like,
what are all these inside jokes that I have?

Speaker 2 (03:33):
No? Oh my gosh, I haven't even cracked it, but
I'm so sure you're right. That's so funny.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Yeah, let's do it. Let's have a regular segment.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
Oh my gosh, okay, next episode, we'll do that. That's fun. Oh,
it's like Year book Club.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
You are a genius.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
I no, Oh, that would be so funny. Year book Club.
Oh my gosh, Okay, we're doing that next time.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Oh cool. And then bloemheads could submit there.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
Too, Yes, and we could make that. We could make
that like a standalone segment too, Like we could clip
that out so that people don't have to listen to
the whole episode to get that.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
But you should, but you should, you should. I realized
we never heard about your podcasting situation.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
Maybe you can hear this is I cleaned my desk today.
I washed the top of it and polished it, and
it looks really nice.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
It does sound more sparkly as it should.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
My uh setup is also in front of a window
in my apartment that overlooks the courtyard. So sometimes when
I'm recording, I am like nosey and looking out because
I can see right into like the walkway, so I
see people going to do their laundry. I can see
people playing in the courtyard. It's great. So it's honestly
a perfect desk setup. Even if the sun beats directly

(04:51):
into my fees.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
You're like a real hairy at the spy. I So
there goes Marsa her dirty sheets again. Didn't she just
wash those?

Speaker 2 (05:05):
Well? It is like that because for the longest time,
somebody had a dog in this building named Fenway, who
I know. Their name was Fenway because I would hear
them in the courtyard all the time, and Fenway was naughty,
and they'd be.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Like, Fenway, Fenway, stand it Sway.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
And one time I was on a call with recruiter
for job stuff and she was talking to me on
the call and then all of a sudden she goes, oh,
I'm so sorry, and I heard her be like, oh,
hold on, let me pause one minute. And I heard
her off the phone go hey, Fenway, don't do that.
I'm like, weird question. Do you live in ex She's like, yeah,

(05:47):
that's the story of how I met my friend Ariana
lived in the same building. I didn't get the job.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
How dare she? That's thing I've ever hed.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
It was great because I carry it the spy.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yeah, let's do Judy Minudie and then letter, Kay, you

(06:25):
have a humdinger of a Judy Minudi.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
So will you tell us hers? This is the of course,
the segmentary spend a minute or more or less talking
about the most duty bloom thing that happened to us
this week. So what is your Judy Minudi this week? Jody?

Speaker 1 (06:39):
Well, it's this is kind of cheating because it didn't
happen this week. It happened a couple of weeks ago, but.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
They don't have to know that.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yeah, it's true. But I went to Miami for a
friend's birthday, and the whole time I was just like
preoccupied with like, when am I going to get to
see Judy's apartment? When can you go? And so finally
we had some free time that like the day we
were flying back, so we had a morning to go

(07:09):
to South Beach and wander around, and my whole plan
was to follow Alicia Zuckerman. She's a writer, journalist, podcaster.
She famously did this little audio tour with Judy herself
walking through Judy's old Miami Beach neighborhoods, and we can

(07:31):
link to this.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
That's so cool.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yeah, it's called the Judy Bloom Reality Tour, hosted by
radio station wl R. And the coolest thing is when
we posted the photo of me in front of Judy's apartment,
Alicia Zuckerman commented on it.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
That's so cool.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
Yeah. So the bummer though, is that I read Google
Maps wrong, and so we kind of walked around and
saved goals trying to find the apartment, and then we
finally found it. It started pouring with rain so bad
that we had to take cover under one of the
awnings of the adjoining apartment buildings. But we were like, well,

(08:15):
maybe we can just bide our time here and pull
up the podcast. So we pulled up Alicia Zuckerman's interview
and just listened to that in the rain, and it
was so perfect actually, And when it finally lit up,
we realized, oh shit, we got to get to the airport.
So we didn't get to see her school or anything else.

(08:36):
But I did get to sneak into her apartment building.
There was a gate, and I love to just test doors.
That's a fun fact about me. I like to see
what opens. And it opened and there was nobody there,
so I was just like, so went in there. Apparently
it's been extensively renovated since Jude's lived there. Doesn't look

(09:02):
as I would have imagined, but I think the structure
is the same, the stairways are the same. There used
to be a coy pond in the courtyard, but there
was no pond. I couldn't find a pond. But it
was very exciting. I felt her presence.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
That's so darn cool. I'm so glad you got to
do that.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
Yeah, I did it for us, Mollie, thank you. How's
your Judy Manudi?

Speaker 2 (09:29):
My Judy Minuti was Last weekend I went up to
the mountains for a reunion for my Girl Scout camp
and that was really cool. It's in like the Sanju
Sinto mountains, and the camp has been opened since like
nineteen fifty two, So there were people who were like
campers then who are now, you know, way grown ups.

(09:53):
And there were people who were counselors in like the
sixties and seventies, and then when I was there in
the aughts, and so it was really neat to like
be there and see all these people, some of whom
I remembered from when I was growing up and some
of who were totally new to me. And then there
were people for my Girl Scout troops, and then there
was my Girl Scout leader, and it was just really
funny to be in this place. And it's been bought

(10:16):
by another Girl Scout council and they really spruced it up.
So there are parts that really look like I remember it,
and there are parts that are totally new and really nice.
But it's like it's so clear that so much love
has been put into this and it just looks fantastic,
and I just I had forgotten what a big part

(10:37):
of my life Girl Scouts was and what I really
loved about Girl Scouts. But I was back there for
a weekend and I'm like, get me back in, I'm
back on, get me back, Like let's go my Because
I was thinking too, I was like, well, I think
I should be a camp counselor now. And I had
to take a vacation week and just do that, yeah,

(10:57):
in the summer, because I just I missed. I love
the corniness of Girl Scouts, and I love singing songs
and making crafts and all that, but I also love
I was realizing the thing that I've always loved about
Girl Scouts, and the most beneficial thing about Girl Scouts
to me was the access it gave me to all
different kinds of like adult women, just because looking at

(11:21):
the counselors who were my counselors when I was growing up,
it's like, WHOA. I I didn't realize how many like
older queer women raised me, but like, yeah, that's what
was happening. And then also like you know, just the
variety of women that I had access to my whole
life like older women, young women, married women, unmarried women,

(11:43):
women who had kids, women who didn't have kids, women
had this kind of career, women who did this, and
they all like gave up a week of their summer
to like come and do this with us. It was
just like so special. And so I was just really
high on the Girl Scouts supply after this. Yeah, that
is so special.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
Do you. I always assume that to be involved with
Girl Scouts, like to be a truth leader or whatever,
you probably had to have a kid in Girl Scouts
so you can just be a part of it.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yeah, you have to. I mean it's responsibility, Like you
have to take all these like first aid classes and
certification and all different kinds of things if you want
to be a trup leader, regardless of if you have
kids or not. But yeah, some people do it. We
had a secondary trup leader who was like the fun

(12:31):
mom trup leader because but mom in a general term,
because she didn't have kids, she had like disposable income
and she has a single lady living alone. But she
really wanted to give back and to be, you know,
with us, And I thought that was cool, but it
ended up causing a lot of tension and we were
talking about that too, but that was an example of

(12:54):
an adult woman who didn't have a daughter, didn't even
have like a niece in the troup, just like really
loved Girl Scouts and wanted to help out.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
That is so fucking cool.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
It is cool. It's so it's also cool. I just
I'm in it, but I don't really I don't have
time really to raise a Girl Scout troupe right now,
but if I did, oh howdy, I would, and I am.
I did commit to going to another Girl Scout event

(13:25):
later this year, so or next early next year, so
I'm getting back into it. I really love girl skating.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
How long were you in Girl Scouts for?

Speaker 4 (13:36):
So?

Speaker 2 (13:36):
I was an old Girl Scouts. I was in Girl
Scout from when I was like ten until I was twenty.
I had my like twentieth birthday at this camp because
I was working cool so I was old, and I think,
but I think that's part of why I really liked it,
is because I could just I could pick to be

(13:57):
involved in Girl Scouts instead of somebody telling me to
be involved in.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
Girls right exactly. I remember, because I was in Brownies
and Girl Scouts for like a year or two I remember, like,
I did get the green uniform at one point, but
I didn't really stick with it. But I remember thinking that, like, oh,
the older girl Scouts, they're the cool ones. They get

(14:20):
to do all the fun things. I mean we did
fun things to of course. Like I looked through our
you know, the big handbook with all the illustrations of
the different aged girl Scouts, and I was like, yeah, oh,
the pretty older ones like I like them. So you
were one of the pretty older ones.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
Well, I was one of the older ones at least.

Speaker 4 (14:43):
What kind of girl you ain't the girl scout?

Speaker 2 (14:48):
A girl who can.

Speaker 4 (14:49):
Face a challenge, A girl who likes herself and other
people too, A girl with a creative touch, A girl
who looked to the future. What kind of girl joys
the girl scout?

Speaker 1 (15:04):
A special girl, A girl like me, A girl like.

Speaker 3 (15:08):
Me, A girl like me, a girl like you.

Speaker 4 (15:15):
I got a girl scout like to go play with.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
They like to learn, have fun, help others, and be
the best they can be.

Speaker 4 (15:34):
Come on, please, yeah, you can.

Speaker 3 (15:38):
Put girl scouting in your future. You never know where
it will take you.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
Should we get into letters, I have one here from
one of our Lisa's, one of our many cool girl.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
Lisa's such a cool girl name.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
Mm hmm. It's been a while since I last wrote,
but I'd figure i'd share my Joy of Sex story
if my parents ever had the book. I never found it,
but my original copy of Forever was one I found
with my mother's books. Oooh, No, I own a copy
of The New Joy of Sex. It has lived in

(16:13):
my dresser, buried under my PJS for well over twenty
five years. I dug it out the other day after
hearing you talk about the beards and the illustrations. I
hadn't seen them in years, but I didn't remember any beards. Alas,
when they updated the book for the nineties, they must
have also updated the drawings. This one has a nineteen

(16:36):
ninety one copyright. How did I come to be in
possession of this book, you may be wondering I actually
bought it. Let's just say that when I was newly married,
I wasn't very experienced and thought I needed some help.
I don't know how helpful it was, but here's the thing.
I got married in nineteen ninety four, well before you

(16:57):
could just order anything off Amazon. I don't remember, but
I must have actually gone into a Walden Books at
the mall to buy it. I have wanted to get
rid of this book for years, but I have been
too embarrassed to even sneak it into the trash. I
also haven't been drunk enough with my kids to ask
if they ever came across it when they were little,

(17:19):
I would be more than willing to donate it to
the cocoon. Oh my god, I figure a photo of
the cover would be uh would be safe enough to include.
Keep up the good work, ladies, Lisa. Okay, and so
I have a photo. Let me screenshot this and send
it to you.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
That just further cements Lisa's as cool girls.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
I'm sorry, Lisa, thank you. We would love it. We
can send you in a dress if you are willing
to mail it, but no pressure, but we want it.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yay, And then I'll read one. We got one from
Atya for our high school correspondent, hi Antya. Thank you
for sending a voice note on how to pronounce her name.
I hope I'm doing it correctly. Dear Jody and Molly,
thank you for reading my letter on the podcast. It

(18:11):
was so cool, as you know, but the listeners don't.
I recently started high school. It's been about a month
and hear my updates. Cry, I'm in my school play.
How exciting? Cry. I've made like two friends and one
person that talks to me, but I don't particularly like her.

(18:37):
I went to my first proper school dance. It was lame, honestly,
not much else. Any advice for high school would be appreciated.
But I definitely will not be dating any weirder gross boys,
so that's not something you need to worry about. Love
and other indoor sports. Uhtya, oh makes me cry, it's

(19:03):
so cute.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
So I know you wrote this over a month ago,
and so I'm sure there are many more updates. We'd
love to hear, yes, your October updates.

Speaker 2 (19:14):
Yes? For example, what play are you in and what
part are you playing?

Speaker 1 (19:19):
That was my first question too. I want to know
how it's going with your two new friends, if they're
still even your friends.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
And school dances. I want to know what was lame
about it to you, because I just do you not
like the kind of music they play at school? Do
you not like? I'm actually very interested in what kind
of dance style is in vogue because for me, when
I was in middle school through high school. We were

(19:48):
dancing at like ninety degree angles like the whole time,
and we loved it. There was just an SNL sketch
about this. The post today is like about grinding, but
I'm curious if that's still in vogue and if that's
part of the reason you didn't like a dance.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
That's so funny. I have heard, and I don't know
if this is universal, but I've heard that it's much
more like individual dancing, like.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
Oh fun, like you're at like, yeah, you're just kind
of bopping, that's fun.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
I also have heard that kids just don't get excited
about dances anymore, like they're not it's not like the
thing to do. Oh wow, Maybe it was lame because
it was very you know, like sparsely populated. That was
my first thought.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
That would make it lame. Well, I'm proud of you
for going because that would be My high school advice
to anybody is like, don't don't automatically assume you're too
cool for something, because I think you'll find the older
you get, the less things are organized for your enjoyment,

(20:56):
and the less things are like put in front of
you to be like here, here is a specific social opportunity.
Here you go. I made it. I made a flyer.
We said at time, we're expecting everybody to go, here
you go, here you go. And in high school there
are a lot of things like that, and I think that, yeah,
they're corny or they're lame or whatever. But I think

(21:16):
you should try everything for sure, because the older you get,
the less things are organized for you, and the less
people are willing to uh to be corny. So I say,
give everything a try. Even the one thing I almost
like went high school without trying was going to a
football game because I'm like, I don't like sports, why

(21:38):
would I want to do this? And my mom made
me go and I had a wonderful time. Now did
I go to multiple football football games?

Speaker 3 (21:45):
No?

Speaker 2 (21:47):
But I went to one. And you should do these
A because it's a fun opportunity that is organized for you,
and B so that you have a reference when later
other people are talking about, yeah, football games or dances
or whatever. Like, you need to have something to contribute,
So go to at least one example.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
Good call, good call, Oh.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
Fun, Well, keep us posted. It's so great.

Speaker 1 (22:15):
Thank you for these letters. They're always they are like
the most exciting part of our day. Bloom Saloon at
gmail dot com is the main portal for that, but
you can also do Facebook or Instagram, and we're here.

Speaker 2 (22:46):
Okay, So today we're going to read chapters twelve through thirteen,
and let's start off with some real call. Ready call.
So we have Joel, who's our narrator. He's seventeen. We hate.

(23:06):
We have Knox, who is Joel's older brother, who is
a dentist from Los Angeles and he's thirty two. And
Knox is engaged to Angela Spivak, who is a knockout
who works at a funeral home and has Catholic trauma

(23:27):
question mark. H We have Franklin who's Joel's dad who's
a food critic. We have Nan, Joel's mom, who is
a gallerina. We have Lida who is Joel's girlfriend who
is so cool, Burger who is Joel's bff. We have

(23:50):
Ingrid who is a hot doctor psychologist adult question mark,
question mark question mark More on that later, Okay, and
then we have mister Jaczinski who's a phyzed teacher who's
mean to Burger. And so I think those are all
the new characters we have this week. Oh which reminds me. Sorry.

(24:11):
I have one late edition letter that somebody sent me
hold on via Instagram about the girl who went to
summer camp with the boys and whose name was Lassie
Bligin Okay, This bloomhead slid into our Instagram dms and
wants to be anonymous. Hi, longtime listener. From the beginning,

(24:33):
a couple I know has a little girl they named Collie.
Such a cute little girl. But she's going to grow up.
Maybe I'm sensitive to teasing, but all I can think
of is kids, boys, especially making fun of her and
calling her a dog and barking at her. Kids can
be cruel. Just had to share. I promised to write
again and it'll be more positive. Love and other endorsed sports.

(24:54):
Oh and the Collie is spelled a unique way. I
won't say it just a cave. Colly's mom and dad
all listen. I can so see how this would sound
so cute in somebody's head and just not make it
on the playground.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
It could also just be easily, just as easily be Calie,
and then you would.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
Sure or Holly or Holly or Mollie, though, as we discussed,
Molly also a docsates though to a certain degree. I'm like,
kids are gonna tease you even if your name's Jessica,
like just might as well.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
That's true. That is so true.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
Yeah, anyway, that's our role call, that's our last letter.
Should we get into chapter twelve? Yes? Okay, great? Okay.
So way back before they went to the Bone Zone
on Thanksgiving, Joel's parents asked to meet Lida, and for

(25:57):
whatever reason, Joel was like, no, we have to have
sex ver. So now that they've done that, Joel agrees
to have Leada come over for lunch and meet his parents,
and they're gonna do a joint meeting everybody because Knox
and Angela Spivac, his fiance, are also coming into town

(26:21):
for a visit. So it's just gonna they're just gonna
meet every brother's significant other in one lunch. And so yeah,
so they meet Angela Spivac Angelica. Oh and I'm sorry
Angelica Spivac, and she's pretty. Joel has to mention that
she doesn't have as big a boobs as lead it does.

(26:41):
I don't know why. One of the underlying things in
this is they're trying to figure out if Angelica Spivac
is Catholic. I guess because they're Jewish, and I guess
that's something they're concerned about. And so when Mom meets Angelica,
she he's like, Oh, that's a nice name. Is it

(27:02):
after a saint? Like ooh, sneaky good idea. Anyway, Angelica
is gonna smoke, but don't worry. She only has six
cigarettes a day, which now I don't know from smoking.
Is that a lot or a little?

Speaker 1 (27:20):
I mean it seems like a lot to me.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
I mean then there are the people that do smoke
a packa day, so that's probably like diet smoking to them.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
Bloomhead smokers, let us know. Yeah. Oh, anyway, then Dad's
teasing Mom about being a smoker, and I do think
this is a line that makes me like dad. I
think Dad does have a smattering of the poetic to him,
because he's teasing Mom saying that Mom used to smoke
a packa day when he met her, and he says,

(27:55):
you did it so intensely though, Oh it was charming
in a way. You always seemed wreathed in smoke, like
a woman in a veiled hat. Like that's kind of nice.
I like that, Yeah, my dad, Okay, poet, Yeah, I
get why Constance is obsessed with you. So they're kind
of like Mom and Dad are kind of in a
great mood this chapter. They're really flirting with each other.

(28:17):
Then Leeda comes in. Her hair was all fluffed out
and her eyes looked big and sparkling. It was more
what she was wearing that was well, not what I'd expected.
She was wearing a gauzy white blouse with lace on
it and a very full patchwork skirt. She wasn't wearing
a bra. Sometimes Lida wears a bra, and sometimes she doesn't.

(28:41):
She says it isn't always. She isn't always in the
mood to wear a bra, whatever that means. It wasn't
that her blouse was totally see through, but I could
tell she wasn't wearing one. It just didn't seem like
a great time to have picked not to wear a bra.
Meeting my whole family for the first time. Oh yeah,
I listen. I was once quoted in an article in

(29:07):
the Huffington Post about how I think we should be
wearing bras less. So I am an expert about this,
but I do think in a time when you want
to make a really good impression, maybe wear or bra.
I will say, like I think, to the general public,

(29:30):
I don't give a fuck. I free the nipple. I
don't care. But I feel like, in a work setting,
and also in like a meeting someone's parents and being
respectful setting, you.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
Should wear bra, yes, or at least like a like
nip cover. You know. Yes, there's plenty of little like
patches and stick ons you can do, right, And.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
Maybe this didn't exist when she was in the eighties.
Cause I have to say, I'm not getting paid anything
for this endorsement, but I love cakes nipple covers. They're great.
Oh my god, I heard about them on TikTok shop
and I'm about to buy my second parrot. They're fabulous. Ah,
this is only like the third thing. Oh you got me.

(30:17):
Oh you really nailed me there. Anyway, I think she
should have covered up a little bit. Yeah, do you
agree with me? Or am I being a prude?

Speaker 1 (30:27):
Yes? I felt bad for forming that opinion, but I
was like, also, just be a little self aware of
how the shirt is working for you. There's plenty of
shirts that could work without a bra, but it sounds
like the one she's wearing does not right.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
And I feel so this is like such the paradox
of being a woman is like, on the one hand,
I'm so pissed off that we have to be hyper
vigilant about this kind of about our bodies in a
way that men just don't. Men don't at all. I'm
upset out that. And I also don't want Joel's mom

(31:04):
and dad to see her nipples. So I don't know
two things can be true at the same time, but
I so identify with Leta of some days just not being.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
In the mood to wear I mean, yes, so.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
They she meets at Joel's mom and dad, and Joel's
mom says, we've heard so much about you. Joel can't
stop talking about you, and Joel's pissed off, like, why
do parents have to act dumber than usual on occasions
like these? That's not even true. I don't talk about
her like okay, buddy, it's it's not a deposition to
calm down.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
That's just a nice thing to say.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
But you can just tell like he is freaking out.
He is very nervous, and I this is maybe one
of the first times I identify with Joel, because this
situation always makes me so nervous, not when I'm going
into it because I'm so good with parents, but introducing
a significant other to my family always makes me really,

(32:00):
really nervous. Yeah, mom and dad have made this giant
gourmet meal. Dad's pouring wine for everybody. They're talking about
Lida wanting to be an actor but her parents making
her go to college, and Knack says that he used
to act, and they talk about the different roles they've played,

(32:24):
and turns out that Lida was in Oklahoma. And I
haven't seen Oklahoma, but I've heard this song before because
it's a really funny song. But the context of it
is is Oklahoma is a musical, and like sort of
the crux of the musical as these two couples are
trying to be together, and one of the couples is

(32:46):
made up of a do Annie, And this song is
kind of about how Annie like can't make a choice
because she's had this sexual awakening. And so I'll read
for you some of the lyrics and you'll understand why
why Joel is embarrassed that she starts singing the song.

(33:06):
It ain't so much a question of not knowing what
to do. I know what's right and wrong. Since I
was ten, I heard a lot of stories, and I
reckon they are true about how girls are put upon
by men. I know I mustn't fall into a pit,
but when I'm with.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
The fella, I forget.

Speaker 2 (33:23):
I'm just a girl who can't say no. I'm in
a terrible thing. I always say, come on, let's go,
just when on to say nix. The whole song is
about like, uh oh, I just start kissing people. Yeah,
I didn't mean to. It's an extremely on the nose

(33:47):
song to pick for Lena, but it is also like
so funny. You couldn't have sang like a more like
precocious sexy song from a musical right they could is
saying like whatever Lola wants, Lola gets from damn Yankees,
and that's like the only one that would have been worse,
or like some from Rent but yeah, and Joel aptly says,

(34:13):
what a choice of something to sing, But yeah, that's
a bad idea.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
Lead a baby, I love it. She's just a free
little bird, you know she is.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
And I honestly don't want to make lead a self
conscious like I want her to learn these things a
little bit. But I'm also like, you know what, You're
the coolest girl in the world.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
Yeah. Also, you're the coolest girl. Thank you so much
for singing. I'm just a girl who can't say no,
you did great.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
Thank you so much. It really does not take much
provocation for me to sing show Tues. And that one
thing I think about this that is kind of interesting
is I was thinking that she reminded me of my
friend in high school who was an only child and
her parents were big into community theater, and she was
being in a community theater. But I think because she
was an only child and she had these like show

(35:04):
people parents, like, she was very comfortable with talking to
adults like they are peers. Yeah, in a way that
I think I have a little bit of that, just
because I like grown up so much. But it was
just like, you can tell the way Leda's talking that
like her parents talk to her like a grown up.
Her parents talk to her like a peer. And so
she's getting comfortable talking to Joel's parents like that, even

(35:28):
though maybe he thinks that she should show them a
little difference.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
Right, I think you're exactly right.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
Yeah, but she's getting comfortable. And she tells the story
about dressing up as nuns with Danny and fooling around
and when she says this, and Jelica gets up and
like runs to the bathroom. This is really weird, and
Leda is immediately nervous and Knock says, well, it's just

(36:00):
Angelica went to a convent school when she was a girl,
so she may be sensitive about It's like about wearing
none costumes. That's weird.

Speaker 1 (36:12):
So it made me think, is it like a PTSD thing?
Did the nuns do bad things to her? And she
just like can't hear the word none?

Speaker 2 (36:19):
Maybe?

Speaker 1 (36:21):
Or is it because she loves none so much and
she thinks it's just awful that somebody would make fun
of ones.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
Now I don't know, now I'm confused. Oh Man Knox
goes to comfort her, and Leita is like feeling awkward
and worried, and the parents reassure her. This is like.
The following pages are like other examples of her chatting
to the parents like she's their peers. Dad starts at
He's like, we didn't think he would get married. He's,

(36:51):
you know, had a lot of girlfriends or whatever, and
Lida goes, well, maybe he was selling his wild oats.
Sometimes men like to do that. And then they finally
marry they'll be faithful. And Mom's like, yeah, I'm sure
he'll be. Like it's a weird thing to say, God
bless her. It's just like not what you should say.

(37:14):
And then this part made me so sad. Angelica comes
back from the bathroom and she's trying to like cover
up that she just like ran away crying because somebody
said none. And she's like, I'm so sorry. I just
can't get used to the time change. And Lida's like
feeling wants to like make up for it, and so

(37:35):
she's like yeah, me too, Like oh, honey, you.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
Live here, you know, like there's daylight saving.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
God save Oh. I love Lida so much.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
The parents are like okay, bye, and they leave these
two couples at the apartment together.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
I thought that was very rude of them. They're like,
here's your gourmet lunch.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
Ta yeah, And it also says they go to a party.
They're like, yeah, this is just one party we have today.

Speaker 1 (38:04):
We can oh and then a movie.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
Oh to be the carefree parents in Beginner's Love. Damn. Yeah,
what happens is what you would expect to happen. And
Angelica and Knox go in his room and Lida and
Joel go into Joel's room and they It's kind of
cute because prior to this, they've always been hooking up
in Knox's room, and so Lda's like, I feel like

(38:31):
they took our room.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
What's wrong? You seem like you're in kind of a
bad mood.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
I'm not in bad mood.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
Why don't you lie down? Then?

Speaker 2 (38:42):
I don't get why you didn't wear a bra.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
It would have shown. I tried it with a bra,
but the straps showed. Why could you see nipples or what?
It's not that see through? I thought it looked pretty.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
It did look pretty.

Speaker 1 (38:59):
Are you mad because of that thing I said about
the nuns? Your parents seem so understanding about it. Not really,
So what's bugging you? I thought I was really at
least I talked. You were just there like a mummy.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
Well, I guess you made up for the both of us.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
You didn't want me to talk. Were we all supposed
to sit there and grit our teeth? Like that pasty
face little clump? Your brother is marrying.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
She's not a pasty based clump.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
I suppose you think it's so wonderful that she runs
a chain of funeral homes. Well, I'll tell you something.
I read this book about that once and notes people
are crooks and cheeks. They go to poor, really poor
people who don't have it sent to their name, and
they humiliate them and to buying these expensive coffins they
can't even afford. It's a racket, poor people who don't

(39:51):
even have food to eat.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
She may not be like that. I bet she is.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
I bet she grinds every last cent she can out
of them.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
You don't know anything about it.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
I do. I read a whole book about it.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
Oh, I mean you don't know anything about her particular.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
Okay, so you want to marry someone who runs funeral homes,
go ahead. Maybe she has a younger sister. Lee, Personally,
I wouldn't marry someone like that in a million years
because of her. Probably millions of families aren't even going
to have lunch for months, just because she's rich. Is
that all you care about?

Speaker 2 (40:30):
Yeah, that's all I care about.

Speaker 1 (40:32):
How was I supposed to know she was Catholic? Anyway?
She wasn't wearing a big gold cross around her neck.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
Her name's Angelica, So Lee, come on, let's not argue.
I'm sorry. It was just in a funny mood before I.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
Thought I looked pretty. I asked everyone, my mother, my father, Danny,
how I looked, and they all said so. They didn't
even know I wasn't wearing a bra. Just because you've
got a dirty mine and can only think of people's
breasts all the.

Speaker 2 (41:05):
Time, I touched them like I deserve moves during this
convers session. We have to finish this. Come on, let's
lie down again.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
Why so we can screw Well, not necessarily.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
I thought we could just lie together.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
Talk about astronomy. All you want to do is get
your clothes off, and fuck.

Speaker 2 (41:32):
Don't you want to I thought you liked it too.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
I like it, but not all the time. Not when
you've been acting like a shmug all of a sudden,
after you've been insulting me for half an hour, just
because you're horny, I'm supposed to pull off my clothes
and get in a romantic mood. Well I'm not like that.

Speaker 2 (41:51):
Woo. That is a crazy session.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
Yes, wow, Yes, I loved it. I love a good
nonsensical fight.

Speaker 2 (42:02):
Oh yeah, that was a nonsensical fight because she's really
mean to Angelica's yis Woo, I don't know she's I
think she's just like really embarrassed and like looking for
a punching bag. Yeah, and Angelica spivs catching strays totally.
I think she deserves that. Oh my gosh, look, we've

(42:26):
all read Stiff by Mary Roach. We get it. I
don't think it's that one. I'm sure is a different one.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
Yeahikes, Oh yeah, this is a This is a pretty
brutal side to Leita that we haven't seen yet. I mean,
she has a lot of pent up rage and I yeah,
I don't think either one of them are right. This
reminded me a lot of the Love is Blind arguments
we see, like people are so talking at each other

(42:55):
about different things and nothing connects in the middle. It's
just very weird.

Speaker 2 (43:01):
It's so truascinating. Oh good call back. Yeah, I do
think it's funny to that in the middle of this fight,
he's like.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
Mmm, boobs, booboo.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
Boob It is really funny. And it continues that Joel
is like, unfortunately, this did make me feel incredibly horny.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
He likes that she was yelling at its conflict.

Speaker 2 (43:33):
I've been in relationships like this, so he's like popping
a bona. He's like I'm sorry. She's like fine, I
am sick. They say, because it's better than arguing. And
I think that's really funny.

Speaker 1 (43:52):
Wait again, it's like love is blind, where they make
out because they don't know what else to say.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
Yes, this is what inspired me to say that to
you earlier. Yes, I was thinking about that. It's like
very placating sex, right, fawning the fawning fawning.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
Yes, there's forting and floding and fucking and fawning.

Speaker 2 (44:17):
No Ah, oh my god, god. Okay, so they're they're fucking.
He can't focus. He's thinking about does leader on a date? Knox?
That's wild. The notable thing is this time he has

(44:39):
sex they he realizes that they're enjoying it, but their
hearts kind of aren't in it. And he said, I
had the feeling both of us were enjoying it physically,
but somewhat apart in other ways. Maybe it just has
to be like that if you do it often, but
it wasn't the best feeling in the world. Is like, oh,

(44:59):
been there? Yeah, yikes.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
Do you think that's what they've been doing? Your brother and.

Speaker 2 (45:07):
His probably I bet she's frigid.

Speaker 1 (45:10):
She probably lies there like a corpse.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
Get it, I doubt it.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
Why have you two made it together? Do you want
to swap partners or something? No? Do you know?

Speaker 2 (45:25):
Then? Why'd you bring it up?

Speaker 1 (45:26):
I didn't. I said she was frigid, and you said
you knew she wasn't.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
All I meant is that I doubt Knox would marry
someone who didn't like sex.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
Oh, he'll probably cheat on her the first week they're married.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
Cheets. That's pretty cynical.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
Maybe, but he just seems the type. Listen. I'm sure
he's a great guy, great in bed anyway.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
Thinks you say that?

Speaker 1 (45:52):
Well, you said he's had a million girls, and he
just has that manner. Ramone was a little like that,
like what, oh, Joel, come on?

Speaker 2 (46:03):
No sort of swab and.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
Come hitherish that way of leaning over right at you
when you say something as though you were the most
fascinating person that ever lived. I think they love each
oldren sure, just like us.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
Right, many things to unpack once again, Angelica Spivak catching straight.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (46:29):
Why afolic Angelica Spivak.

Speaker 2 (46:34):
She's just regular. I don't get it. So she's really
mean to her. And also, this is another instance of
Leita buddy, don't say that. Yeah, you can't. Don't. You
can't just tell someone you think their brother's good in bed?

Speaker 1 (46:52):
What what is her endgame?

Speaker 2 (46:55):
What is?

Speaker 1 (46:55):
What is what's going on?

Speaker 2 (46:58):
I honestly think she is just like a little adult
and she thinks that you can just talk about whatever
to whomever, Because it would be like that if you
were like an only child living with two parents who
treated you like a grown up, you just your your
frame of reference is off. Yeah, and also if you

(47:18):
don't have a brother, I guess or a sibling, you
maybe can't grock how weird it would be to say
to somebody's sibling like, I bet your sibling is really
good in the sex. Maybe. Yeah, I think she's just
like a little free spirit and a little weird and
a little like differently socialized.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
Yeah I think that. Yeah, differently socialized is a nice way.

Speaker 2 (47:42):
Nice way to say that.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
But Okay, so you don't think she's like winding him
up on purpose or like maybe a little bit of that.

Speaker 2 (47:50):
A little bit, Yeah, maybe maybe, especially because she does
like the one two punch of starting with that, then
talking about Ramon and then like really saying stinkily like
just like us yeah, very rude. Joel says he feels
like she stabbed him when she said that. It's like
that's that horrible combination of flipness and vulnerability. It felt

(48:12):
like she was pulling two strings at once, Like, oh, buddy,
I feel that that sucks. And this is another part
where I really like felt for Joel for the first
time maybe, is like he talks about how like he
was really depressed when she left, and he says, there's
one peculiar thing about having sex with someone. It said,
everything else you do with them is heightened. And I

(48:33):
do think that's really really true, Like even with like
the most casual, open sex positive attitude about everything, like
it it totally changes everything when you have sex with
someone you know, for better or for worse. And he
talks about how like it makes normal things really really fun,

(48:57):
but it also makes tiny like relationship like paper cuts
feel way worse. And it's so true, so really insightful.

Speaker 1 (49:06):
Joel, Yeah, I.

Speaker 2 (49:08):
Know, Buddy. I think I really think that's an important
thing to put in a sex book for teenagers, because like,
I think the thing that I would want to drive
home is like sex doesn't have to mean everything, but
it does change everything a little bit, you know, even
if you're very casual about it, Like, it does change

(49:30):
things in ways you wouldn't have expected, whether it makes
things more awkward, or whether it makes you like more
sensitive to hurt. Like it just it's really, uh really
marks you in a way. That's that's something worth considering.
I think before you become intimate with somebody, is like, yeah,

(49:50):
it's gonna change things no matter what. He's just like, poor,
poor Joel. He's just feeling so sad, and he's like,
I thought of that line and the joy of sat
it can give us some of our best experiences and
some of our worst. I think I'm beginning to know
what they mean. It's like, yeah, babe, I'm sorry, that's true.

Speaker 1 (50:10):
I'm glad. Do we have sex? True talked about that.
It wasn't just like rolling braids into vaginas. There was
some real talk in there too. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
Oh so that's chapter two.

Speaker 5 (50:24):
Wow, Okay, who knew.

Speaker 1 (50:46):
Chapter thirteen, Joel and his parents are talking about NOx
and Angelica, and you know, Dad throws it out there
that she'll probably make a good wife, and then mom
is just like what is that? And you know they're
doing their kind of thing where they're flirting but also
being a little bit mean to each other.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
So yeah, people love that working.

Speaker 1 (51:10):
Yeah, Dad's saying things like, you know, he's rattling this
list off. She has to earn fifty k a year,
be great in bed, a wonderful mother, have superb net
game in tennis, and be able to make at least
six gourmet dishes. And of course, anytime there's money mentioned,
I whip out the inflation calculator.

Speaker 2 (51:30):
Oh you did, okay, great, I was trying to do
it quickly.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
That would be one hundred around one hundred and sixty
K today.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
Wow damn.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
Yeah. So you know he's not acting asking much of
the perfect wife. Yeah, I just I really do think though,
that like part of mom and dad like hate each other.
Are they just like seething underneath this banter?

Speaker 2 (51:58):
I don't know. I don't know. I think some people
like to tease each other more than I am comfortable.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
Yeah, so I.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
Think that's what we're seeing. Yeah, because that would not
be my favorite.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
I love a lot of that. Okay, No, later Dad
comes in, Well, Joel's practicing guitar, and he decides, now
it's a good time to talk about birth control. I mean,
it's just like, is this the first time they discussed this?
I think so. Joel says that Lida uses a diaphragm,
and I don't know. Dad's like, but does she use it?

(52:36):
And Joel's like, I think so, he says, but when
Lida comes over, she'll mention that she put the diaphragm
in beforehand, But he's never like dug around to inspect
for it. Can you imagine that makes sense? It's like
spelunking helmet. But I do wonder is she using spermicide?

Speaker 2 (53:02):
Because you're supposed to.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
According yes, according to all the literature, that is a must.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
Now, maybe you don't know the answer to this. Are
you supposed to put the spermicide on the diaphragm before
you put it in? Are you supposed to put the
diaphragm in and then shoot up the club with spermacide afterwards?

Speaker 1 (53:20):
I think you put it on the diaphragm and then
insert it. I think you kind of like do it
like a little ring around the outside.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
That makes more sense. Well, no one can tell us,
because when I did the poll the other day, no
one currently uses a diaphragm of the blueheads that it's interesting.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
Well, I have read that it is making a little
bit of a comeback. Oh, because the diaphragm became pretty
popular pre the pill. So like in the forties and fifties,
a lot of women were using diaphragms. It was just
the most straightforward, easy thing you could get. But when
hormonal base birth can control came around in the sixties seventies,

(54:03):
people ended up popping their pills rather than popping in
the diaphragm. It's just so much easier. But nowadays I
think the tide is swinging away from hormonal birth control.
A lot of people don't like the side effects. A
lot of people wonder, like what are the long term effects,
And so the diaphragm is making a bit of a comeback.

(54:23):
But there are some differences, and I can give you
a little tiny special report on how it's evolved over
the years. So originally it was made of rubber, and
it even had like springs in it, like a springy mechanism.
I don't understand. But what I've seen mention of a

(54:47):
springy aspect. Oh my god. But these days they tend
to be made of silicone and a much more flexible,
nice lawn spring.

Speaker 2 (55:02):
What the fuck?

Speaker 1 (55:06):
The sizing and fitting situation is different because back in
the day, they came in a few different sizes, and
you go to your doctor and then they would try
different ones out on you when you would get fitted.
These days, they there are a few single sized diaphragms
that are much more flexible, so you don't have to
get fitted. It's almost like you know, a diva cup situation.

Speaker 4 (55:29):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (55:30):
They used to be more of a round shape, but
now they have uh, what is described as user friendly
elements like a contoured shape, grip dimples for easy handling,
and a finger dome for simple removal. Got a fingernais
a finger dome. There's so much more user friendly.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
I looked up a picture and bloomheads. Just in case
you were confused. The spring element is like the circular
part of the diagram. They're not talking talking about like
a coiled spring. It's like it like snapping back and forth,
like you can squeeze the sides of the diaphragm to
like get it up there, like you would RENEU the ring.

Speaker 1 (56:12):
Got it?

Speaker 2 (56:12):
I'm sorry I was confused. No, me too, Well, I
thought it was like a boing Boying spring.

Speaker 1 (56:18):
That's what I thought, because honestly, here it says often
made of rubber with stiff metal springs.

Speaker 2 (56:24):
I'm on, let me see what website this is. I'll
put the picture in it and on the American Familyphysician
dot org website. And it's showing me a diagram showing
the different kinds of spring dia diaphragms. And it does
appear like the spring part is the top the like opening.

Speaker 1 (56:42):
That makes so much more sense. Yeah. Interesting, The effectiveness
is pretty much the same in the mid ninety percentile
with spermicide, So everybody get your spermicide.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
Yeah, And.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
I think it sounds like a good option.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
So I use a newver ring, which is like the
same shape as a diagram as a diaphragm, but there's
no middle part to it. It almost looks like a
plastic hair tie. And you squeeze a side of it
and you put it up in your vagina and it
stays there for a month, and you're supposed to like
put it in the beginning of the month, take it
out at the end of the month. And I'm using

(57:25):
it for several years. Well, the thing about new rings
is you have to keep them the extra ones in
your fridge because if they're in a warm place, they
assume they're in a body and they start emitting the
hormones or whatever. And so if you had them just
on the counter, they would all be like used up
by the time you want to use them. So you
have to keep in the fridge. YadA, YadA, YadA. When

(57:49):
I was moving to La, I kind of moved abruptly
because I was breaking up with my boyfriend and I
didn't know I had to like flee San Francisco and
come to La like kind of spur of the moment.
And because I didn't know how long I was gonna
be in LA and how long it was gonna be
before I found an apartment here, I grabbed the like

(58:12):
extra an extraneuvering from my fridge in San Francisco and
took it to my mom's house where I was staying.
And so when I got to my mom's house, I
was like really sad or whatever, but I was like, hey,
can I please keep this in your fridge. I know
it's a little weird, but like it has to be cool.
I don't know how long I would be there an it,
And my mom goes okay, Like, she was really weird

(58:32):
about it, and I couldn't figure out and what she
was saying. And she's like, do you.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Do you think you're gonna need it?

Speaker 2 (58:43):
And I was like, I don't really, I don't understand
what you're asking me. And it turns out that she
thought it was like a diag fragm that you're only
supposed to put it in when you have said so.
She thought I came from this like huge, like world
shattering breakup and was like, well, I might need to
get it wet. I'm here. You never know what's gonna happen,

(59:08):
just in case.

Speaker 1 (59:09):
Like in mom's house on the.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
Couch literally, So that was really embarrassing.

Speaker 1 (59:15):
Oh mommy, mommy, No, I'm glad you. I'm glad you.
Uh you corrected her.

Speaker 2 (59:23):
I like that. She was like, okay, I will be supportive, yes,
but judgment it's.

Speaker 1 (59:30):
Like me with Bo's hump toy. You know, I don't
love it.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
But exactly that's what moms do.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
Yeah, So let's see. Knox also corners Joel for a
manly chat and this is a good reading moment here page.

Speaker 2 (59:51):
Do you think you like being married?

Speaker 1 (59:55):
See he's a California dude.

Speaker 5 (59:56):
So he's like, yeah, no, he's not from Sydney.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
He's like, heur, this is what I think it'd.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
Be, like, like yeah, like I'm ready, yes, yes, okay,
I just heard you hear it? Okay, yeah, I'm ready.
I mean, obviously you never know until you've tried it.
But what made you pick her?

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
I mean she seems very nice.

Speaker 5 (01:00:21):
I just wondered, Well, obviously she's gorgeous, but that's not it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
Basically, it's just she has a great mind. I know
that's a cliche, but this girl has a mind like
a steel trap. She came down to my office and
looked over my records.

Speaker 2 (01:00:40):
How I was billing.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
Patients, and in two hours she'd worked out a new
system that was ten times more efficient. She's like, mom,
that way not great at abstract reasoning, but she could
run any business you name. I really admire that. Don't
fuck it up with leta.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
Will excuse the brotherly advice? But you acted pretty shitty
to her the day she came over for dinner.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
Why did she have to act like that, singing that
dopey song, babbling on like a fool?

Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
Listen, do you love her?

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
You show it, Okay, I do.

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
I mean, I don't just mean in bed, I mean
I get it. She's real cutie.

Speaker 2 (01:01:30):
I was nice of I think that was nice of
Knox to be like, hey, stopping weird.

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
Yes, that was very nice and he did it in
a nice way.

Speaker 2 (01:01:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:40):
But Joel doesn't think it's very nice. He's like, fuck
that guy. He's so happy he's going back to California.
He's glad he lives so far away, and he thinks
that if he's in New York, he'd really actually be
making passes at Lida and that Lida would like it.
And I'm like, oh god, he's like spiraling into paranoia.

(01:02:02):
I mean, it is it's it's a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
Yeah, it is a lot. He's really insecure, very.

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
But also from the things Leada said, I don't know.
It's like I've been given little snippets that I can
see what might trigger this. But he totally needs to
just be a little more chill. A week later, Joel
gets a frantic call from Burger. This is so good,
and Berger demands he comes over immediately, but won't tell

(01:02:33):
him why. He's like, we can't, we can't talk about
it on the phone. Click, so Joel's like, okay. He
rushes over to Berger's house and they have this conversation
which we must read.

Speaker 2 (01:02:46):
She called, what are you talking about? Who? Who?

Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
The love of my life?

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
You fool?

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
The doctor, the lady doctor.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
Oh what'd she say?

Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
Well, she'd see the signs over a month ago, but
she'd hesitated about getting in touch with me. She was
afraid I might be, you know, kind of weird, or
the Boston strangler or something. I'm doing everyone like a
valley boy. Now, sorry, that's fine, I don't care.

Speaker 2 (01:03:17):
I love.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
She's in training to be a shrink, so that's her specialty.
But she said she reread my note several times and
she decided that I definitely didn't have psychotic tendencies, and
the feeling behind the note was sincere and touching, and
it was her more responsibility to see me.

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
So when are you gonna see her?

Speaker 1 (01:03:36):
This Friday? My god, I can't believe it. She's gonna
meet me weird. Well, I guess she's still alert, little
nervous that I might be, you know. So she wouldn't
give me her phone number or tell me where she
lived or worked, but she said she'd meet me at
a restaurant on fifty ninth and third after work.

Speaker 2 (01:03:55):
It's a real date.

Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
Then something, I'm gonna see her.

Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
God, you don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
I was really beginning to give up hope. I was
going to enter a monastery. I was gonna pledge celibacy
forever and now.

Speaker 2 (01:04:10):
Well, listen, even if she's willing to see you, it
sounds more like she feels sorry for you in a
way I don't. She's thinking of.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
Look, it's just one foot in the door.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:04:20):
Once I get there, I'll be so swab, so charming,
so intelligent, so terrific in every way that she'll follow
at my feet. Sure, what's wrong with you? I thought
you were in love?

Speaker 2 (01:04:37):
Lead is my age? She's so?

Speaker 1 (01:04:39):
You've really got hang ups about age? You know that?
What does it matter? It's maturity that counts. What are
you laughing about?

Speaker 2 (01:04:48):
Are you that mature?

Speaker 1 (01:04:50):
Of course I am? Hey, are you my friend or not?

Speaker 2 (01:04:54):
Sure?

Speaker 1 (01:04:54):
I horse around a lot, but I am extremely mature
for my age.

Speaker 2 (01:05:01):
Uh. How old will you tell her you are?

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
Well, it depends partly on how old she says she is.
I'll keep it within seven years. So if she's twenty seven,
I'll say twenty.

Speaker 2 (01:05:14):
She'll never believe you're twenty.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
I thought of, maybe I've got to look perfect. Will
you let me one of those jrackets your brother left you.
I have to look sharp but casual.

Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
I don't know if they'll fit you. He's pretty muscular,
that's okay.

Speaker 1 (01:05:29):
I can look muscular if I've put my mind to it. Look,
there's just one thing. I don't want my parents to
know what's going on for obvious reasons. So if I
could come over to your house and change.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
There, sure, I'm seeing Lyda at eight thirty though.

Speaker 1 (01:05:47):
No problem. I told Ingrid i'd meet her at six thirty.

Speaker 2 (01:05:52):
Ingrid.

Speaker 1 (01:05:52):
I knew she'd have a beautiful name.

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
I thought she said she had black hair. Ingrid sounds Scandinavian.
Maybe that's not her real name.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
She wouldn't have given me her real last name. No,
she's an Ingrid al right. She looks like an Ingrid,
great cheekbones, icy blue eyes. I love you, I love everybody.
I love this whole damn world. I love I even
love mister Jazzinski. Mister Jazinski, as you said earlier, Molly

(01:06:25):
is their fizet teacher who is mean to Burger. Hmmm,
this Burger background of him not even trying to swing
in baseball is.

Speaker 2 (01:06:36):
Pretty good, very funny, very relatable.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
Yes, Joel obviously is not very optimistic about this situation.
He thinks there's no way in hell this ingrid will
believe Burger's twenty. But also, I feel like twenty year
old guys somehow are less mature than sixteen year olds.

Speaker 2 (01:06:57):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:06:58):
Oh yeah, like Ryan am I just yeah, yeah, so
this this could work.

Speaker 2 (01:07:07):
I feel like it's gonna be like the movie Big
at like the end of the movie where he's back
as a kid and she's like, uh, call me in
ten years.

Speaker 1 (01:07:16):
But yeah, he's thinking about Burger and realizing that this
great moon Burger is in where he loves the world
and mister Jazinski is purely because he hasn't met her yet, right,
so he's got the giddy giddy like I'm in love
with the possibilities feeling. Again, this is very Love is blind.

(01:07:39):
That's so true, because of course it's so good when
you haven't met the person.

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
Ye, love is blind. Everything is love is blind. Do
you think you would do so? Do you think you
would do a good job on love is blind? Like,
do you think you could successfully like hook a person.

Speaker 1 (01:07:55):
I think so, I think I could. Yeah, I think,
well we're both good yeappers.

Speaker 2 (01:08:00):
Know, I think I could. But then I really would
feel sick to my stomach to have to hang out
with someone that I didn't find is I know, to
hang out that's that's the wrong way to say it,
to say hang out like romantically and intimately with somebody
who I didn't like like that, So I know I

(01:08:21):
would be one of the people who, if like I
saw somebody personally, were like, fuck, I'm so sorry. I know.

Speaker 1 (01:08:28):
And I'm a really bad judge of because you know,
we were talking beforehand about how I did the last
season without watching, like I you know, close my eyes
and didn't listen to it. And I'm a really bad
judge of like what voices are attached to hot people?
The people I thought were going to be hot I

(01:08:49):
did not find attractive, and vice versa. So that would
scare me.

Speaker 2 (01:08:53):
Yes, yeah, yeah, And I also don't I don't really
want to be married so much much that it wouldn't
matter to me I married, which is I think the
only people who could do well on this show is
people who are just like, yeah, it's time to get married.
I should get married by someone might as well beat
Tina Tina, and I don't feel like that. I feel

(01:09:14):
like I would be one of the people that was like, hey,
let's like make a plan and like meet up after
this or something and like go on a real date
because you seem really lovely. But like, I don't want
to do this. Yes, and that's why they would.

Speaker 1 (01:09:25):
Never cast me, right, I know you've just jinxed it
for yourself, Molly. You've just said it out loud, so
you'll never be on the show.

Speaker 2 (01:09:32):
Yeah, that's okay, that's okay.

Speaker 1 (01:09:35):
You should go on Love Island. I think that's more
your show.

Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
I want to go on this Circle that.

Speaker 1 (01:09:42):
I haven't watched that one, but I've heard it's good.

Speaker 2 (01:09:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:09:46):
Fast forward to Friday night. It's the day of the
big meetup, and Burger comes over to Joel's, you know,
to get Knox's jacket and to get ready. And this
part kills me. Mollie. He dyed his hair I.

Speaker 2 (01:10:03):
Knowed, well, not his whole hair.

Speaker 1 (01:10:06):
Yes, just the sides to make them look like he
is graying. It's so bad because how many twenty year
olds did you know that went gray?

Speaker 2 (01:10:20):
No, I feel like I'm I just turned thirty four.
I feel like now is the time when I'm starting
to be like, oh yeah, everybody hair changing?

Speaker 1 (01:10:27):
Yeah, yes, yes, And not only did he try to
make his sides gray, but he did a poorly. A
Dole says it looks like he walked under a ladder
and had gray paints billed on it. Oh no, so embarrassed.
And then I just want to read this last part.

(01:10:49):
So Berger puts on his outfit. He's like tried a
few different shirts. He's going with the tweed jacket because
it looks smart, and he says, so, what do.

Speaker 2 (01:10:59):
You think terrific?

Speaker 1 (01:11:04):
Howbll just roughly?

Speaker 2 (01:11:08):
Do you want the truth?

Speaker 1 (01:11:09):
No, forget the truth.

Speaker 2 (01:11:12):
If she's very nearsighted, maybe twenty otherwise maybe nineteen or eighteen.

Speaker 1 (01:11:19):
I want her to love me.

Speaker 2 (01:11:22):
She can't love you on a first dage, Sure she can.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
Have you ever seen those movies when two people take
one look at each other and.

Speaker 2 (01:11:29):
Whamo, yeah, but you already did look at each other.

Speaker 1 (01:11:34):
But that was under strange circumstances. Tonight, there'll be candlelight,
apply her with strong drinks. I'll be witty, I'll gaze
deeply into her eyes.

Speaker 2 (01:11:46):
Good.

Speaker 1 (01:11:46):
Look, should I smoke? If I don't, I might start
chewing on the tablecloth. On the other hand, and she's
a doctor, she may think that's unhealthy.

Speaker 2 (01:11:57):
Don't chain smoke? Maybe a few?

Speaker 1 (01:12:00):
Yeah, like six.

Speaker 2 (01:12:03):
Tastefull sing cigarettes, tasteful sick. Yeah right.

Speaker 1 (01:12:09):
I mean she has to know the real media and
all the creative interesting people have addictions of one kind
or another. Look, I've heard lots of doctors are stoned
all the time. Not her, but it's not uncommon.

Speaker 2 (01:12:23):
See you, bye bye.

Speaker 1 (01:12:28):
And that's the end of the chapter. And oh my god,
I can't wait to see what I know happen me too?

Speaker 2 (01:12:35):
Oh yis yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:12:38):
I mean maybe, okay, so what are what are our predictions?

Speaker 2 (01:12:43):
Okay? I think that it's gonna be uh like a
double catfish situation. Like I think she's gonna show up
and she's also a high schooler. Oh or maybe it's
like maybe the twist of all twists is like, oh
it's Danny. It's been Danny this whole time.

Speaker 1 (01:13:01):
Oh my god, that's so smart. I think I feel
like that be not I if Norma is as clever
as a writer as we think she is, I think
it would be Danny.

Speaker 2 (01:13:16):
I don't think it's going to be an adult woman
A and B. I don't think an adult woman would
be fooled by this.

Speaker 1 (01:13:24):
Yeah, maybe it's Burger's mom, just to teach him a lesson.
She's like, this will teach you for putting our phone
number out there.

Speaker 2 (01:13:34):
Wait a minute, that's my phone.

Speaker 1 (01:13:36):
Yeah, okay, So those are the two options. It is
either Danny or Burger's mom.

Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
Now, I've often thought of this. If you saw somebody,
a man or a potential romantic partner putting out a
billboard by this, would you be charmed or would you
think it was like desperate?

Speaker 1 (01:13:57):
What is the is the fly for me? Or just
in general like somebody else.

Speaker 2 (01:14:03):
I think just in general, I mean would take would
you take it as like ooh interesting, or would you
be like sad?

Speaker 1 (01:14:10):
I think if it was it's all in the wording, right,
if it was like funny and kind of tongue in cheek,
kind of like how Burger did it, I would think
it was. Yeah, but there are very desperate, sad ways
it could be written.

Speaker 2 (01:14:24):
Yeah, yeah, I always Well, I was thinking about that
because I've thought about that sometimes, of putting one up
for me in my neighborhood, just because I thought it
would be funny. And there's this place in my neighborhood
that's like a community bulletin board, and I thought it
would be funny to put one on there. But I

(01:14:45):
can't decide if that's like cute and funny or if
it's just like y yikes.

Speaker 1 (01:14:50):
So I do think a woman doing it is different.

Speaker 2 (01:14:54):
Yeah, I think you're it's not as like fun.

Speaker 1 (01:14:56):
It's so fun. I think it's cute.

Speaker 2 (01:14:58):
That's why I haven't it's silly. Oh you think in
the positive direction?

Speaker 6 (01:15:03):
Yes, yes, oh okay, yes, I might do it then,
because I thought a funny slogan would be as like
have you ever tried taking Mollie and then like that
thought out for a drink?

Speaker 1 (01:15:18):
See, yes, you are the perfect type of person that
could do this successfully, because yeah, I think you being
a woman, women just don't come across as desperate as
some men do sometimes. Okay, and you're such a funny
lady that you're gonna make it. It's like so charming.

Speaker 2 (01:15:36):
Oh okay, I might do I might do it. It's
gonna be funny to try.

Speaker 1 (01:15:41):
You can do it as like an art project like
gorilla art.

Speaker 2 (01:15:45):
Yeah, if nobody, if nobody calls me, I like that
was just an art.

Speaker 1 (01:15:49):
It wasn't like a social experiment.

Speaker 2 (01:15:54):
Well, okay, that's good to know about Burger. We'll put
a pole to see what people think is gonna happen.

Speaker 1 (01:15:59):
Yes, Bluehead, that was so fun. Thank you so fun
for listening to us.

Speaker 2 (01:16:05):
Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:16:06):
We'll talk to you in a couple of weeks.

Speaker 2 (01:16:09):
Bye bye bye