244. Yearbook Club

"Beginner's Love," chapters 14-15. Hope you don't mind this one being a real yap-fest, y'all! Jody and Molly read through this 1983 Norma Klein YA novel and discuss egg babies, Jody's ancient stash, and Molly's online beefs – with a couple vintage teen pregnancy PSAs thrown in. In the book, Berger finally meets his lady doctor and cusses out the PE teacher, while Joel learns that Leda is... LATE. Tune in for the usual dramatic readings, listener letters, and lively discussion. And don't miss our new segment, "Yearbook Club!" It's a (sometimes) Judy Blume book club. Join us every other week!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hi, I'm Jody.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
And I'm Mollie.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
When you're listening to the Bloom Saloon, it's.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
A Judy Bloom book club.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
It's a Judy Bloom book club where sometimes we don't
read Judy Bloom. Yeah, like today, Uh, tell us what
we're reading, Mollie.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
We are reading Beginners Love by Norma Klein Woo. It's
a nineteen eighty three teen novel. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Oh yeah, that's it. That's what it is.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
That's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is. I'm
trying to bring the energy up because I know we
said we're both tired today, so oh we're gonna work it.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Yes, I always do. You know there's a thing about
like turning the mic on that does get you a
joult of energy.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
It does.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
We're like a real showman. We know how to dazzle.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Did you ever see the seminal documentary, the Katy Perry Documentary?

Speaker 1 (01:11):
No, I forget.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
I'm actually forgetting what it's called. But it is Katy
Perry on her teenage Dream Tour. And when I say
it is one of the best music documentaries ever, I'm
not exaggerating. There is a part in that documentary because
famously during that tour is when Russell Brand broke up
with her divorced her basically via text message, and apparently

(01:35):
according to the timeline of this documentary, it happened when
she's like backstage getting ready for a show, and they
show clips of her and she's like sobbing, sobbing, sobbing, sobbing, sobbing, sobbing,
and you can see all the people are out waiting
for her, and her whoever her team is is like, Okay,

(01:55):
you can cancel the show, but we've sold X amount
of ticket and why amount of people are already here,
but you can cancel if you want, And Katy Perry
kind of like takes a deep breath and is like, okay,
let's go. And they show her backstage and she's like,
as they're getting her makeup on, they have to keep
stopping because she's crying. And as she's like putting her

(02:16):
wig on and walking up, she has to keep like
taking breaks because she's crying so much. And keep in
mind too, this is like the candy themed tour, so
they have her in this corset with like peppermints on
her boobs that are like spinning, So the peppermint boobs
are spinning. She's on like the Genie lift to go
on stage. She's still under the stage. She's crying, crying, crying,

(02:37):
and then as the trapdoor opens for the lift to
start rising, she like cricks her neck and puts her
smile on and the peppermint booths starts smiling and she
goes up and she does that concert and it's inspiring.
So that's us today.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
You're the portrait you've painted as this scene. I can
picture it perfectly. I need to watch this.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
It's so oh I did spoil like the best part
of it, but it's so good. Listen. Is Katy Perry
a Republican? Definitely? One hundred K Bird's a Republican, But
she will always always have my respect because of that scene.
As cool as hell. That's a showman, you know.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
For whatever reason, Tyler's been bringing Katy Perry up a
lot recently, and like neither of us know anything about her.
He just brings her up in conversation and I'm like,
what's going on with you?

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah, I wonder I was at sorry sidebaright, remember when
we were like, oh, yeah, we can do three chapters
an episode. Yes, we don't talk never mind. I went
to go see the musical Mulain Rouge the other day,
and I don't know if you know, it's like a
jukebox musical where they're it means they play like a

(03:56):
bunch instead of writing original songs for the musical. It's
like a bunch. So in the movie it's like a
certain amount of songs, and then when they do the
stage show they do more updated songs. And so there's
one part where the Nicole Kidman character is like a
you know, she's a cortis on with consumption and she's
like coughing blood and a mournful music tone starts and

(04:19):
she starts singing firework but sadly, and I started laughing,
and the person in front of me got so mad.
I was like, well, listen, it's.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
My first time hearing firework sung mournfully.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
Oh funny. They had to know what they were doing.
They had to be going.

Speaker 2 (04:41):
For a laugh, right, No. I think you're supposed to
buy in. You're just supposed to let it happen to you,
and sometimes I can't. Oh, this is a Judy Bloom podcast,
and as such, we're gonna start off talking about what's
the most Judy bloom thing that happened to you this week, Jody.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
So this is so silly. A lot of my judy
minudies have had to do with like me having moved
recently and like finding things. So the other day I
was looking for a pencil and my my drawer turns
out there's no pencils in the house. Plenty of pens,

(05:22):
no pencils, And I'm like rummaging around, rummaging, rummaging, and
then I find this, like it's a baggy and then
there's like a red plastic tube in it, and I
take it out and I shake it and it's something
rattling around in there. And then I turned the bag
over and on it is written in sharpie mollie, what

(05:46):
as in the drug? So I I found my own
drug stash? Gotta be eighteen years old?

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Oh no, oh that's so funny.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Can you hear it?

Speaker 4 (06:06):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (06:07):
I felt like I was finding like my teenage daughter's stash,
but the teenage daughter is myself. So funny, and I
remembered it was it's not even an interesting story. But
literally eighteen years ago, my friend who used to live
in San Francisco moved to New York and didn't want

(06:29):
to bring his drugs with him and bequeathed me this
test tube of Mollie, which I guess I never took.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
Now I'm not a drug guy. Is that that's gotta
have lost potency or gain potency? What's the deal with that?

Speaker 1 (06:47):
Yeah, I don't know. I'm tempted to fuck around and
find out.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
Oh yeah, I'll come to old Molly.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
Yeah. Sure.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
And once again, this podcast is not promote recreational drug use.
It just is fun and is cool and is something
we do. Other than that, we can't recommend atilla Atyatia. No,
don't do this, no, no, no, but put it on

(07:17):
your trinket shelf until that sounds like fun. And if
you want a Molly fueled episode of The Bloom Saloon,
please give to our Patreon. We'll see what happens. Yeah,
oh okay, fun, Well you're grounded. I guess what about yours? Molly? Molly?

(07:40):
I took Molly out in the world, which is me. No,
I just had a I just got back from I
did a sleepover at my grandma's house. She lives pretty
close to me, and I try to do one of
these about once a month or every other month and
I just sleep over my grandma's house and we have
dinner and we watch movies and go to bed. And then,
like I was telling Jody, I wake up at like

(08:01):
eight and I come out and she's like, oh, you're
finally up.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
Okay, Does she at least have a YAMMI breakfast waiting
for you?

Speaker 2 (08:08):
No, because she goes and gets her hair done on
the weekend, so she's kind of out the door. But
they my, she was my aunt. They made me a
nice dinner which was nice. Actually they made me a
dinner out of this old old Betty Crocker cookbook. Oh
it was really good. What was it? It was a
very Brady bunch. It was pork chops and apples.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Oh yeah, yeah, I would say that in itself is
a Judy menudie.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
Oh that's right. Yeah. I took some pictures of the
pages of the cookbook because it's holding on by like
duct tape, this poor old cookbook.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
But really, how you know it's good?

Speaker 2 (08:47):
That you know it's good? Yeah, So I took some
pictures and I'll put those up.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
And one more question, what movie did you watch?

Speaker 2 (08:55):
Oh? We watched Bridesmaids because both my aunt my grandma
were like, yeah, we've seen this before. We love this movie,
and I did forget how ronchy brides Maids is. But
they were fine with it. But my grandma kept saying,
this is not the Bridesmaids I've seen. And she kept going,
when did they get on the train? What do you mean?

(09:18):
She goes the Bridesmaids movie I have seen, they go
on a train. Okay, So if anybody knows what Bridesmaid's
movie involves a train, that's the one my grandma's seen.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Oh, Grandma's waiting for the train and it never came.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah. They also have a humongous TV because neither of
them can see, and they have it really loud because
they're old. So it's it's like watching an Imax movie.
Any time you watch a movie there. It's crazy, but it's.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
So fun and cozy.

Speaker 5 (09:53):
Yeah, it was cute.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
Should we get into some lettuce, let's do it?

Speaker 5 (10:13):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (10:15):
Okay, So we have one from our high school correspondent, Atya,
and again, Atya, do not do recreational drugs, especially old
weird ones than you down. That's not good, okay, but
Atsia writes, Hey, Jody and Molly, Okay, here are my
monthly updates. Number one my school play isn't really a

(10:36):
popular show, so you wouldn't know it. But it's a
pretty cool murder mystery show. I got an ensemble roll,
but it's still been super fun and we are performing
it this week. Oh my gosh, break Away Atya, which
is the number two. The first school dance wasn't as
good because it was more of a freshman only dance. However,

(10:56):
we have had homecoming since then. This was much more fun.
I went with my girlfriend and my best friends and
it was actually super fun time. We had a much
better DJ this time too, and he played some rocky
horror picture show songs. Overall, a very fun time. Oh
way better.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
That's so good to hear.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
Friend updates. I have actually made a great many new friends,
at least five. I've also reconnected with a few early
childhood friends, which.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
Has been really nice.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
I still do not particularly like the other girl I
referenced in my last email. She's just a bit undermining.
Number Four Football games. I've had to go to a
few but for my school's marching band, but it is
very fun. Five general school. I've been very good in

(11:49):
school and I have a four point three GPA. Yeah,
that's so cool. Good for you. I'm oh, I'm excelling
in my English class and my current book of the
month is a clockwork orange. Wow. Anyway, I hope you
like the much lengthlier letters Love and other indoor sports.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Atya oh oh, atya wait? Okay, how I thought GPA's
stopped at four point Oh? How do you get a
four point three?

Speaker 2 (12:17):
I think you're really really smart.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
You get a full joint. Obviously I never got to
I was gonna.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Say me neither. I don't even think I had a
four point Oh. So that's amazing.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Oh hellow, good for you.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
I'm glad the dances got more fun.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
Yeah, but Atia, you didn't answer our question about grinding.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
Yeah, yeah, is there grinding at the school play?

Speaker 1 (12:44):
Tell us now is there grinding?

Speaker 2 (12:46):
Yeah? And break a leg in your play? I hope
it went really really well.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Oh, speaking of plays, we have an update about Oklahoma. Yes,
this is why I had one of those like wake up,
jolt up out of bed moments. I was like, I
know where we've heard this before, and then that very
same day you or somebody posted that Davy and Tiger

(13:14):
Eyes was also in Oklahoma. Hello, and I meant to
get out my copy so we could read that passage.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
Oh I can wait, yeah, if you want to grab it.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah, hold on one second.

Speaker 6 (13:26):
Okay, Jody is running. Jody is looking in her house
for the book. She's looking for the book. Hey, Jody,
look on the shelf. It's probably behind your old bag
of Haro and Jody, she's keeping drugs.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
In her.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
Hello.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
Police, if you're looking for the drugs, they're behind all
the books and the Jake and Nugget action fit. Gage
Duddy keeping drugs in her hat. Hm.

Speaker 1 (14:14):
I see every other copy of every other Judy book
I own except that one. Oh well, oh wow, oh
that's but yeah, though, what a good tie in.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
I know, huh, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Tiger Eyes was published in nineteen eighty one.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
Oh so it precedes this. So wait, is Norma doing
a nod to Judy?

Speaker 1 (14:38):
Yeah? Maybe so?

Speaker 2 (14:40):
Or just like everybody was constantly thinking about Oklahoma totally.

Speaker 1 (14:46):
It's like, how like there was that one point where
there were like five movies about bugs that came out.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
I thought you were gonna say, it's like the part
time in the seventies where there were like seven musicals
about Jesus.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
Oh right, that too. Uh huh. We have another letter
from Bloomhead Helen, and she said, Hi, Jodi and Molly,
I just had to say how much I loved your
latest episode. She does have some intel about the pronunciation
of Angelica's last name. Oh perfect, she says, hearing the

(15:23):
name Spivac reminded me of my mother in law's gynecologist.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
Okay, all right, I love that you know this.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
His name was pronounced Spivac. If it weren't for doctor Spivac,
my mother in law wouldn't have had given birth to
my husband.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Oh wow, thank you doctor Spevac.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
Yes, Angelica Spiedvac. Is that what we're doing now?

Speaker 2 (15:50):
Sure?

Speaker 1 (15:51):
Okay, thank you Helen, Thank you. And as always, we
love to hear from you guys. We love to have corrections,
we love to have name pronunciations, we love stories about
Oh we haven't had anything about diaphragms yet though, so
we have that diaphragm email.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
I think because nobody's using them. I think that's really it.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
Oh oh, but Mollie, I do have an update. There
were Boing Boying springs. What Yes. I did a little
more digging after we recorded last time because we were
we were so perplexed about the spring mechanism. Let me
send you a photo. Okay, you are going to recoil.

(16:41):
Get it recoiled, all right?

Speaker 2 (16:45):
Let me see. Oh my, okay, I guess that makes sense.
It works the same way we were talking about. But
I was picturing like, like a you know, how tigger
be jumping. There's the spring at the bottom of tigger.
I was picturing a spring at the bottom of the right. Yeah.

(17:05):
But oh boy, I don't like seeing I don't really
like being able to see the spring there.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
No, because like what if rip?

Speaker 2 (17:14):
Yeah, it looks too like bicycle adjacent for me. Especially.
Look at this old diaphragm.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
You said, it's got the one that's like torn.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah, what the hell?

Speaker 1 (17:27):
So thankfully we don't have Boing boying springs anymore.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
Yeah, thankfully. Just great.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
You look at brand on it it says, oh my god,
lamb but cap.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
No, don't be called lamb butt cap. Oh my god,
it does. Why does it say that? I don't know. Wait,
is this hold on? It's literally branded lambut cap Oh.
I hate that.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Yeah, so that's it for me. What's next?

Speaker 2 (18:06):
Thank you? I guess we'll get into beginner's Love and
Roll Call. Roll Call Today we're covering chapters fourteen through fifteen,
and we have all the usual suspects. We have Joel,
who is our main character. He is a boy. He's seventeen.
We have Burger, who is Joel's best friend, also seventeen,

(18:29):
but he's lying about his age a little bit. We
have Leda, who's seventeen as well as Joel's girlfriend. She's
the coolest girl in the world. We have the Balabands,
who is a couple that Lida baby sits for and
their little baby, Keith Ingrid who is a psychologist that

(18:53):
Burger went out at a date on. She's an adult woman.
Mister Jasinski, who is a pe teacher who is infamous.
Joel's mom Nan, who we learn in this chapter is
a feminist. We have Angelica Spivac, who is the fiance

(19:15):
of Joel's brother Knox, who is older. And then we
have Dad who is only briefly mentioned here, but that's
Joel's dad. And I believe that's all the characters we
have these two chapters.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yeah, chapter fourteen, so Weda has a babysitting gig. She
invites Joel over to hang with her. After the baby
goes to sleep, and this baby is Keith, right, m
h Keith. Leda's outfit is a little more cash today.
We have to note that she's wearing jeans and a

(19:49):
T shirt. But I noticed that Jewels seems to think
it's weird that she doesn't wear shoes in the house. Yeah, like,
what a freak. What's your shoe policy, Molly? Are you
a shoe or no shoe household?

Speaker 2 (20:05):
I will never be a house that makes people take
their shoes off because I feel self conscious in those
scenarios because I feel like I might either my socks
are weird or I wear my feet are stinky. So
I will take my shoes off if people want me
to take my shoes off, but I would prefer I
would prefer to be shoes on because I'm self conscious.

(20:27):
But yeah, in my house, anything goes, maybe anything goes. Yeah, yeah,
what about you?

Speaker 1 (20:33):
We don't wear shoes and oh yeah, And I'll always
like offer to take them off at someone's it's kind
of like you and if they like insist we don't
need to, then I won't. But then but also does
feel weird, like I didn't like our house growing up
was like very much like shoes on. Yeah, and my

(20:53):
mom is still like that. So like you go into
her house and people are just like wearing shoes like
all over the carpet and the ouch, and I'm just
it feels so weird to me now, but you know,
I had. I do notice when I mop the floor
it makes a big difference if you're not wearing shoes
in the house.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
Oh yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
Leita has decided to break bring her famous potato bread
dough over to this babysitting apartment and she's gonna bake
potato bread with like real potatoes, not just potato flakes,
real potatoes, which I thought was a little like weird
that she's doing this, but also kind of cool.

Speaker 6 (21:32):
You know.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
Yeah, it is a little weird, uh, But I guess
it's like sometimes you want to take advantage of if
you don't have as nice as a kitchen at your
own house, you want to do something nice.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
And if I were the parents, I'm like, sure, bake
whatever you want. You just must leave me at least
half of what you want.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
Course that's the tax. Yes, it sounds delicious too.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
I've never had potato bread, but I've had potato donuts.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
WHOA, that sounds great.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
Johnny's Donuts, y'all, if you ever come across Johnny's Donuts,
get one. Lena and Joel watch a movie. It's a
TV movie with Valerie Bertonilly and of course I looked
up the options, like what movie could this be? So
we have some contenders here. We've got Young Love First Love,

(22:25):
which she starred in in nineteen seventy nine. It's about
a couple with different backgrounds, ones from the California and
ones from rural Midwest. Then we have the Promise of Love,
which came out in nineteen eighty, where she's a Vietnam
War widow who finds new love. Okay, the Princess and

(22:49):
the Cabby, which might be my personal fave. That's from
nineteen eighty one, where Valerie is an heiress with dyslexia.
Oh and she meets a very well read cab driver
who helps her. Ooh and then oh, actually, this one

(23:11):
be my favorite one. Nineteen eighty two, she starred in
I Was a Male Order Bride. Oh and in this one,
she's a journalist who has to place a personal ad
as a male Order bride for like research. Oh and
then she meets a man who orders her, but he's

(23:32):
kind of doing it for a joke too, but like,
of course they fall in love and that sounds great. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
And so I feel like it's got to be that
one because that one came out in eighty two, so
it was more okay, TIMELYA.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
Movies used to have premises.

Speaker 7 (23:47):
I love it, Kate Disconi, I write for Contemporary Woman magazine.
You're wasting your talent on these superficial articles.

Speaker 2 (23:55):
Okay, I'm sorry. I gotta kill it. Harvey has got alive.

Speaker 1 (24:00):
Mail Order Bride one. This is the twentieth century.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
It's also the age of selfholl.

Speaker 8 (24:05):
You want me to advertise for a husband?

Speaker 7 (24:07):
I think there's a story there.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
So yes, they're watching Mail Order Bride and Joel has
this inner moment that I want to read. I always
feel there's something slightly hypocritical going on between us, and
I don't know if it's my fault or what it's like.
There are four of us. First, just Lida and me,
two regular people who sometimes get along and sometimes don't,

(24:29):
the way Burger and I sometimes get along and sometimes don't.
Then there are our bodies, which basically just want to
fuck I hate to put it crudely, but it's true.
Arita once said that she hated some books she read
where a man cheated on his wife or girlfriend and said,
as an excuse, it was me. It was him, meaning

(24:50):
his cock. I admit that's kind of a dodge, but
I also know what he means. I can feel really
pissed off at Lyda, at the way she's acting or whatever,
and be interested in something she's saying, but there's also
a part of me that's thinking, when are we going
to get around to doing? And I can't imagine, Like

(25:12):
if I were to have read this as a teen,
like that would have scared me a lot. Like you
kind of know when you're young, like oh, yeah, all
boys think about is one thing, but like, but you
also kind of pretend that maybe that's not true. But
just to have that confirmed, like oh, they're actually not
listening to anything or sick it, I wouldn't have liked that.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
No, me neither.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
In the midst of all this Leda turns to him
and she's like, do you think Valerie Burtonelli's hot? And
he's like whoo, and rightly so she takes this to
mean that he wasn't paying attention because he was thinking
of sex, which he was. And then she gets a
little testy, but they're saved by the bread. She's like,

(25:58):
oh fuck the bread, and so oh. They take a
break from arguing to go get that potato bread and
oh my god, it sounds so good. They slice it up.
Joel says it's the best bread he's ever had. It's just,
oh my god, it makes me want potato bread so bad. Oh,
can next time you go have a sleepover at Grandma

(26:20):
to make you some potato bread?

Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yes, okay, absolutely, that'll happen. We'll do it, okay. I
kind of like that sensation when something is described so
much you're like, oh my god, I am craving something
I've never eaten before.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
And then then we go back to arguing.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
Do you see what I mean?

Speaker 7 (26:39):
Though? What about it being hard for me to concentrate
with you around?

Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, I guess it's sort of flattering in a way.
I'm not always in the mood, that's all. Like, sometimes
I'm worried about something that can happen which has nothing
to do with you. Does that ever happen to you?
Are you worried out something tonight? Kind of. It's probably silly,

(27:06):
but what my periods late? Listen, don't panic or anything.
It's been late before. In fact, sometimes I skip a month.
If we weren't, you know, doing anything, I wouldn't even worry.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
I thought you used to die a fram.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
Usually, but I don't know. Lots of things can happen.
It might not be in the right place.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Do you mean usually?

Speaker 3 (27:35):
I mean, like, usually I.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Brush my teeth that night, but I don't brush them
every single night of my life. Sometimes I'm too tired,
and sometimes I forget.

Speaker 7 (27:45):
Did you ever forget to put it in just a
couple times?

Speaker 1 (27:50):
I mean, like, remember the time we were studying at
your house and your parents called and they said they
wouldn't be home for dinner. Well, I didn't go over
expecting us to do anything. I left it at home.
Oh fuck, don't start worrying. I'm sure it's gonna be okay.
I wasn't even gonna mention it. But it's just that

(28:10):
you brought it up. Why I don't always feel like, no.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
I'm glad you told me.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
Kiss me. Okay, we die. You gotta wear the dice, yeah,
or at least condoms like easy Yeah, just like raise
your hand if you're not doing it, and figure something
else out.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
But you know what, I think that's speaking to something
that is tough when you're first starting to have sex,
because you're like so excited or so inexperienced that you're
scared to do anything that'll like fuck up them. The
inertia of like going from one thing to the other thing,
so it doesn't occur to you to speak up. So

(28:56):
that's a lesson here is just always speak up. You
boys are are such boing boing springs. They'll get right
back to it, but just speak up always like it'll
be fine.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
That's our PSA. Also, don't do drugs.

Speaker 2 (29:10):
One, don't do drugs. To speak up.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
And then yeah, Leda's doing this thing that we've noticed
her doing a lot. It's it's the fawning. It's the
fawning and fucking.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
And but I also feel like like she she is fawning,
but I think she also needs some genuine comfort because
he's being so weird, yeah, or he's reacting so worried
to something that she's already worried about, and she wants comfort.
So I think, yeah, there is fawning, but I also
think it's like, Hey, I'm feeling really vulnerable. Can you

(29:45):
just please kiss me? Totally?

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah, maybe she just wants him to shut up and
stop asking questions and like cudd ale.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yeah, yeah, totally.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
But the cuddling leads to making out. Then it leads
to like she's initiating the sex that he's been waiting for,
and he's like boying, and uh, we realize, Oh, they're
still at the babysitting house.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
Yeah, the baby's asleep in the next room.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
I would never, ever, ever hire a teenager to babysit
if I had kids. Oh, I would only hire an
eleven year old or like a grandma. Yes, at least
they have the decency not to do it in the
parents' bedroom. And stud go to the maid's room, which

(30:34):
is basically a storage room with a cot and like
a bike and some boxes of stuff, and it smells
musty but oh sexy. I do wonder how common maid's
rooms are in like old New York party.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
Yes, because I didn't get the impression that they currently
had a maid, so it really is like like a
vestigial sort of room.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
Yeah, we did it quickly, I guess I would. You know,
I should do a Joel voice. We did it quickly.
I guess I was so scared they might come home,
and also not sure which way Leada's mood would swing
at the next moment. Suddenly she seems so passionate. I
had no idea why she gripped my shoulder so hard.

(31:17):
I was afraid she'd tear the skin. As she came,
she cried out Joel, almost as though she were being
run over or were in pain. God, maybe she isn't night.
So afterwards they lay there and she's affectionate and she's snuggling,

(31:39):
and then uh, Joel decides to pipe up again.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
We uh, are you wearing it now? What your diaphragm?

Speaker 3 (31:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (31:52):
Do you want me to take it out so you
can examine it?

Speaker 4 (31:55):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (31:56):
I just look, what's done is done. If I'm pregnant,
I'm pregnant. What are you worried about? We don't have
to get married or anything. I'll just get rid of it.
I don't care. Or maybe I'll give it to the Balibans.
They really want a baby's sister for Keith.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
Do you really think you're pregnant?

Speaker 1 (32:16):
I don't know. I guess pregnancy is the punishment for
its sex. Sex is the crime, and pregnancy is the
punishment for women.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
I don't think it's a crime for men.

Speaker 5 (32:28):
It's not.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
It's so unfair, Oh and say that she's.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
Yeah, I you know, I really want to get inside
Leada's head. There's a lot of like kind of surface flippancy,
but that's like her compensating for like probably like a
couple weeks of intense worry. And I don't know what

(32:54):
she's hoping to get from Joel, like he this is
obviously the first time he's even thought about this possibility,
so totally it's a bad combo.

Speaker 3 (33:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
I think there's a certain degree to which, like Leita
is trying to be such a cool girl about this,
but then like as she's trying to be like whatever,
I don't care, yeah whatever, Like her actual instincts are
taken over and she's like, you know what, you should
be worried about it too.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
Yeah, She's got all these things going on at once.
And it's funny. I think Joel says here, the way
she kept going back and forth between joking about it
and sounding scared really puzzled me. It's like, I don't know,
I don't know what to tell you. That's just how
it feels sometimes.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Yeah, sometimes that's the only way you can get through it.
So I want to read this part, actually, do you
want to read this the paragraph about at the bottom
of one forty two.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
We lay there together for a long time. I feel
so many different things about Lyda, sometimes all in the
place of one evening, and that it confuses me. And
it was the same about this. Part of me, in
some crazy way, felt proud that I could be the father.

Speaker 5 (34:11):
Of a baby.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
Part of me felt really angry that she was careless
enough not to use the diaphragm every time she could
have told me.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
I have some condoms.

Speaker 7 (34:21):
I could have used some. I don't think she was
trying to trap me, knowing her personality, I think it's
more that she's like Burger, sort of impulsive, giving into
the mood at the moment, and not always that organized.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
I was kind of proud of him in that moment.
I feel like he's thinking very clearly and trying to
understand her point of view, and yeah, boy, big boy stuff.

Speaker 2 (34:46):
Yeah, he's trying to be very emotionally intelligent and process
all these feelings.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
I feel angry at myself too, I should have been careful.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
What do you mean yourself too? Who else are you
angry at? You? Thanks?

Speaker 1 (35:03):
I just mean it's not totally your fault.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
I guess I don't see how it's my fault at all.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
Oh well, if you're so interested in doing it, you
could have gotten condoms, so it wasn't always my responsibility.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
I do have them.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
Then why didn't you tell me?

Speaker 2 (35:22):
Because you said you had a diet bram, and I
assumed you were using it.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
Don't you ever forget anything?

Speaker 2 (35:30):
Yes? Sometimes, but I don't think was something that important.

Speaker 1 (35:35):
Okay, so you're perfect. It's all my fault. I'm just
an impossible dope.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
I didn't say it was your fault. We just should
have talked about it.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
Maybe, But when you're in a sexy mood, you don't
seem to want to talk. It's like I'm not there.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
Look, I don't know, Lee. You're right anyway, Why worry
about it now if it might not even be necessary? True,
I can't always figure out what you're feeling like tonight.
First you said you weren't in to move, then suddenly
it seemed like you were.

Speaker 1 (36:08):
I thought you'd be mad.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
If we didn't, I wouldn't have been mad, I just
would have been disappointed.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Well, whatever, I don't want you to be disappointed.

Speaker 2 (36:20):
Didn't you feel like doing it too?

Speaker 1 (36:22):
Sure, you look so sexy when you get that funny
glazed expression, like when you didn't even know who Valerie Burtnelly.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
Was homemade potato bread really turns me on.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
Really it was good, wasn't it. I think I'm a
good cook, You're good at everything. And then it's like, oh,
everything's fine. You know, Joel thinks that thank god he's
got school to go to next week, and thank god
it's a boy's only school and he won't have to

(36:56):
see Leta during the week because then he won't have
to think about what's going on, and how nice it
is just to go to school and not see her
and not think about it. And that is the luxury.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
Yeah, that we do not get. No, I think for
all we rag on Joel. I think you're right that
this chapter was like a really good illustration of how
Joel's trying to process all of these things for the
first time.

Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yeah, it's good for.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
You, buddy. I think this book is a really true
insight into what it feels like to be navigating like
a relationship for the first time, sex stuff for the
first time. Like, it's really spot on, and I hate
that she had to read her daughter's diaries to get there,
but it shows it's really spot on.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
Yeah, yeah, I totally agree with you. Joel is really
kind of rising to the occasion.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:53):
So, uh, there is this channel that's just degrassy, like
twenty four to seven. I don't know if you've seen that,
but it's what we put on when we leave the
house for like extended periods of time to keep the
dogs company.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
So that's why bo is hump and everything is because
he's watching The Grassy twenty four seven. He's trying to
keep up with those kids Tony Canadians.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
Oh, but it's so fun because, like I'm very well
versed in the original like De Grassy, Junior High and High,
and so I love it when those are on and
I'm like, oh, this is the episode where da da
da da da da da da. And then so last
night we went out and the episode was the one
where they have to take care of the egg babies.

(38:38):
Everybody knows about egg babies, right.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
That's a trope I always saw on TV and never
had to do in real life. But I was always
hoping that I would have to do it in my life.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
But no, same we never had to either. Yeah, so
they it was the egg Baby episode where Spike is pregnant.
She's in middle school and pregnant and her boyfriend and
Shane is very immature about it, and they're doing the
exact opposite of what you should do when you find
yourself in a teenage pregnancy. And so it makes me

(39:12):
appreciate Joel that much more having come off the heels
of De gras Ceo.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
No, Spike is Emma's mom, right, because that's the generation
of Degrassi that I watch.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
Yes, Spike is Emma's mom.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
That's funny. But that's another thing too that we were
talking about a couple of weeks ago, is like, Okay,
you can absolutely have sex, but you open yourself up
to be vulnerable in ways other than physical. It's like
you are opening yourself up to like, Okay, we're gonna
have these weirdo conversations. That's what we sign up for.

Speaker 9 (39:54):
There's a growing problem being left on the doorstep of
every American. Last year, nearly half a million babies were
born to teenage girls. The cost to our country was
over a billion dollars, but the human costs are incalculable.

(40:17):
If we don't do something soon, we'll all have something
to cry about.

Speaker 10 (40:39):
Don't let the game of life beat you. Get the
facts and the many ways to prevent untended pregnancies. The
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists wants you to have
the facts for your free facts booklet Call one eight
hundred intends one eight hundred intends.

Speaker 11 (41:00):
I really like to be a dancer because it's just
really fun because you get to jump around and it's
just like you just feel like you're free.

Speaker 4 (41:16):
The harsh reality is four out of every ten girls
get pregnant while they're still teenagers. What a child grows
up to be is up to you. It's up to
all of us.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Let's go to chapter fifteen. Okay, so now this is
Joel locking in. He's going to be good at school,
so he doesn't think about if Leda is or isn't pregnant,
so heal about he likes to get to school half
an hour early. Uh, but Berger doesn't give a shit
for like rolls in right when the bell rings. And now,

(42:09):
what was your coming to school strategy?

Speaker 1 (42:12):
I don't. I was trying to think. I don't remember,
but I'm sure I was not an early bird.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
I feel like I'm in the Joel camp where I
would be so anxious about getting to school on time
and not being late. I don't know why. Nothing bad
ever happened to me when I was late. I just
like decided to be super anxious about it and just
let it happen to me. So yeah, so what do.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
You do when you do? You just find the friends
that are all so early and hang out with them or.

Speaker 2 (42:37):
Yeah, yeah, I think that was it, just find the friends.
I also remember, for a while my routine was I
would walk up to school with Fat lip by Some
forty one playing in my earphones as I walked into school,
and I thought that gave me like a swag walking
into school. Probably did not, but I had to have
my some forty one time and then go fe me

(43:00):
go see my friend.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
It's like your wrestling song.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
It was my wrestling song. It totally was so yeah.
And then so Burger gets in, and remember last time
we saw Burger, he was going on his mystery date
with Ingrid, who is allegedly the doctor from the Flyer.
Now we had a couple of speculations that was she

(43:24):
going to be Danny, was she going to be his mom?
Was she going to be all these people? And it
turns out she's just a lady. She's just a lady.
Berger says she's twenty four, and he is lying and
saying he's almost nineteen, which is that's a pretty conservative
lie because they're seventeen, so he's only you know, fudging

(43:45):
a couple of years. Yeah, but she seems great. He's
so into her, but he lied and he told her
that he dropped out of college to study at the
Actors Studio of Inside the Actor Studio Fame and they
kind of hit off. But it's very unclear to me
from reading this, like is she also into Burger? Because

(44:11):
Burger is talking to her and she's saying that she
really admires creative people, but she's not a creative person,
and she'd love to work with creative people to get
rid of their like mental blocks over creating stuff. He
volunteers to be her first patient.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
Okay, can we pause and figure out Like, Okay, so
she said she's a doctor, so like, she's not a
doctor yet, Well, she's only twenty four, so She's right,
she's in med school. But is she Yeah, a psychiatric doctors.
I mean that sounds like that's her plan.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
Yeah, because they keep saying shrink, so that's what that means.
But it does sound like she's in like I don't
know what do they call that, like residency or internship
or what. I don't know what that's a hospital though?
Is that?

Speaker 1 (45:05):
How like psychiatric doctors?

Speaker 2 (45:07):
Is that?

Speaker 1 (45:07):
Is that their path too?

Speaker 6 (45:09):
Like?

Speaker 1 (45:09):
Are they in?

Speaker 2 (45:10):
Look if they don't have one on Grey's Anatomy, I
don't know how it works. Yeah, And I think part
of the key of Grey's Anatomy is no one is
doing psychiatric emails on anybody.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
Okay, Okay, they're.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
Just getting bombs out of people's bodies. So I don't
know what the hell's going on? Is they answered to them?

Speaker 1 (45:29):
No, Okay, this is where we need bloomhead's help. Any
bloom heads that have been through med school or know
somebody who has, Like, how does this work?

Speaker 2 (45:38):
Yeah, anyone who didn't graduate from Shonda Rhyme's medical school,
please tell us, Please tell us anyway. Uh So they're
having like kind of the typical like first daity conversations
where someone complains is about something and you're so desperate
to like be with them that you're you rush to
fill in the blank. She's talking about moving to the

(46:01):
city from Oregon, and she's like, there's so many people,
and Burger's like, it's so rare to find someone compassionate
like you in a city like this. But then she
was saying that here, I'll read it just she said,
how at the hospital all the doctors seem so cold
and uninterested in anything except advancing their careers. Then she

(46:23):
began telling me about how these middle aged professors she
has married ones kept making passes at her and she
doesn't like that. She finds that distasteful and to like
really make up for that, uh, Burger says, I said,
I thought it was disgusting, horrible. Those guys ought to
be put in jail, That people who didn't regard marriage

(46:44):
as a holy sacrament were sick, sick people. Who's really
laying it on thick. But he's talking about like he
doesn't think he's putting on an act. He's like, I
like her so much. I really do think that I
really am at all those people. I think that's kind
of cute. It is it is like, I'm wondering if

(47:06):
our investment in Burger is gonna pay dividends, because I
think that is very sweet that, like, as you know,
suave as Burger is and as like willing to like
lie or scheme or whatever he is, he seems genuinely
so into her and so nice to her and so
like sprung.

Speaker 1 (47:28):
And it seems like he's not even like he had.
There's one point where he's like, even if we're just friends,
that's all I need. He's just he's into her as
a person.

Speaker 2 (47:38):
I'm like, yeah, he said, I'd rather sit there listening
to her talk about the postman in her hometown than
screw anyone you can name, even anyone that's so nice.

Speaker 1 (47:51):
So is this plotline meant to be a direct contrast
with Joel and Lida. We're kind of like, oh, the
only thing they really connect on his sex. It seems
like these days.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
That's so interesting. I love that.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
I mean, now I feel so guilty for doubting Burger
and the Lady Doctor unless there's it's still its whist
coming where the Lady Doctors really a sixteen year old?
I thought that would be good, Yeah, yeah, that would
actually be.

Speaker 2 (48:23):
Work out fine. Yeah. Anyway, they're in gym class when
they're having this conversation, and Joel likes Jim class because
he likes to kind of zone out and play basketball,
especially now that he's worried about lead to being pregnant.
But they're playing and Burger's like not paying attention because
he's talking to Joel, and he makes a mistake. Oh, Wolfson,

(48:49):
do you think you could explain your strategy in that
particular move? What's to explain?

Speaker 12 (48:55):
Well, it seemed like a peculiar move given that Davis
on the opposite team. Hm, that's an eloquent shrug, Wolfson.
Does it signify anything special?

Speaker 1 (49:09):
Not especially?

Speaker 2 (49:11):
Well, maybe you could explain to all of us why
in every game we play, you seem to be unable
to concentrate on any of the rules, to give even
lip service to the most bottom level of sportsmanship. Are
constantly and consistently arrogant and thoroughly incompetent.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
Sure, I'll tell you why. It's because I think sports
are dumb?

Speaker 2 (49:36):
Dumb? Is there any reason for that, any experience that
has driven you to that conclusion?

Speaker 1 (49:44):
Yeah, Actually, it's every guy I've ever known who's liked
sports with a total asshole. Oh and every coach I've
ever had was like you, mister Jadzinski, a grad zy
jerk and total neanderthal.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
That's why who you're aware of? Wolfson? That no one
has ever graduated this school without passing physical education.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
Oh fuck off me, Jazinsky.

Speaker 3 (50:14):
I cannot even imagine. I cannot imagine and telling a teacher.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
To fuck off? Yeah, you ever told a teacher to
fuck off? What have you ever told a teacher to
fuck off? No?

Speaker 1 (50:30):
I mean not to their face, but.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
Yeah, bloomheads, if you've ever told a teacher to fuck off,
tell your story, because I am extremely interested. Don't get
me wrong, I've been mouthy, but I would never say
the F word. I'm gonna read this mister Jazinski's speech too,
because it is way harsh. Tie, so he gets really

(50:56):
red and really mad and he goes. I'd like to
take advantage of mister Wolfson's tantrum. I think it should
give us all food for thought. You see, life is
full of losers, guys who, for one reason or another,
can't make it. They can't make it in sports, they
can't make it in their jobs, they can't make it
in their personal lives. Why Okay, some of these guys

(51:21):
may come from rotten homes, maybe it's genetic in some cases,
but the fact is most of them don't even bother.
Most of them are rotten kids that never grew up
and never tried, and no way those guys end up.
They end up sleeping on a park bench, and they
end up assassinating our president, and they end up as

(51:42):
worthless punks. So I don't care if all of you
are great at basketball. Maybe you're not. But if you
want to end up like Wolfson, that's your problem, and
that's your choice. Okay, Like, oh my god.

Speaker 1 (51:55):
Dum oh man. I love it. He really takes his
pe teacher job seriously because this is where people are
shaped and formed and made into good citizens.

Speaker 2 (52:04):
And I wonder, I mean, obviously, if this is nineteen
eighty three, this is a reference to John Hinckley Junior
attempting to assassinate Ronald Reagan. So that's kind of interesting
that that's top of mind. He's like, bad at basketball,
you're gonna try to murder the president, which isn't true

(52:25):
because today many people are bad at basketball and nothing's happening.
But also, I don't think John Hinckley Junior's problem was
that he was bad at basketball. Is that Jody Foster
was too beautiful?

Speaker 1 (52:41):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
Yeah, that's interesting that that was top of mind for
mister Jizinski.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
Yeah, and you know, this whole scene just reads like
an eighties movie too, right, Like in the middle of
the gym floor, all the guys and the bleachers and
their tiny, tiny gym shorts.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
Isn't there a part in Fame where they're yelling at
the guy who's like such a good dancer but he
doesn't apply himself to anything.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
Oh I don't remember Fame very well.

Speaker 2 (53:14):
Sounds right, I guess I don't either. I think that
Burger is right that sports are dumb, and I think
this guy takes his job too seriously.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
Yeah, and you know what, I graduated high school even
though I missed a few PE credits, So yeah, you
go me too.

Speaker 2 (53:33):
I remember my dad looking at my report card one
time and he's like, how do you get a C
in PE? I'm like, oh, really, is it? Personally? You
just walk the mile all?

Speaker 1 (53:44):
At least he showed up.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
Yeah, I showed up. I was there, but I was
fully walking and chatting the entire time.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
Oh man, I did this thing where my senior year, like,
you could you could get a PE credit if you
joined to gym, like had a gym membership. Yeah, and
so I joined the gym, never went to the gym. Yeah.
And then there was like a worry, like will I
get to graduate high school? But jokes on.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
Them got him. Uh. Anyway, that speech doesn't make an
impression on Burger. Berger doesn't give a fuck, And I
think Burger's gonna be just okay at the end of
the day.

Speaker 5 (54:29):
Lead At calls listen, I'm sorry.

Speaker 8 (54:32):
I was in kind of a funny mood of Friday.

Speaker 2 (54:35):
Oh that's okay.

Speaker 8 (54:37):
It's just my personality. I tend to worry a lot
about things, even when, like you said, it might not
even be necessary.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
Did you get your period?

Speaker 8 (54:48):
I mean, uh huh. But you know, I decided you
were right, Joel, like I was gonna rush out and
get one of those pregnancy tests where you do it
at home, but I remembered the the exact same thing happened
to me before.

Speaker 4 (55:02):
You got pregnant.

Speaker 8 (55:03):
No, I miss my period. See, my period was due
once on June sixth, and I didn't get it until August. Sick.
I just completely skipped one whole month. Our teacher said,
the body does that, like if the body's worried, it
just goes on strike sort of, That's what she said.

(55:24):
So I'm gonna wait until April nights, since that's two
months after I got it last time? Uh, why not
take the TIS now? Then you'd know? Yeah, but I
don't know. Sometimes it's not reliable and then you just
keep taking it and sometimes it says that you're pregnant
and sometimes not. And the thing is, I just know

(55:46):
I'm gonna get it on April nights. I just have
that feeling ooh.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
Oh no, I'm worried.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
I know my heart sank.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
Ugh. But she is right that, you know, sometimes your
body is weird and it's not always on task. Yeah,
so who knows.

Speaker 1 (56:11):
But she should be taking a test. But no, I
totally get that though. I mean, like, yeah, not knowing
is better than knowing, and yeah, we get into the
whole thing here. But I think it's that's very real.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
Yeah, it's it's very much it. Joel is kind of
thinking the same thing, and he said it seemed to
me what Leeda was trying to say was she wanted
an extra month of not worrying or just feeling free.
And I totally get that of like putting off knowing
something before you have to just like maybe I'll just
take care of itself. It's like my friend she said,

(56:49):
She's like, I had kind of a feeling I was
pregnant and it just kind of dawned on me. And
she goes, but before I took the pregnancy test, I
had one last time. I need glass of wine because
she's like, once, I know I can't be drinking this,
but right now I don't know, so let me just
have it. Totally I feel that, and so we'll see

(57:10):
what happens. But he starts thinking about babies, and he
talks about how ever, since Angelica and Knocks left, his
mom has been talking about she's looking forward to having
a grandchild because and this is weird, Angelica told mom
that her first task of married life would be to

(57:33):
leave no stone unturned in getting pregnant. Oh okay, cool,
thank you for telling me. And Joel has the same
reaction I would have had to that news is he said,
I guess that's a euphanism for fucking all day long
till they hit it. It's like, lol, I do always

(57:54):
say that when people tell me that, that's what it means, like, okay,
you're right, you don't have to tell us about it.

Speaker 1 (58:01):
Jude'ning stones there, we're turning stones, baby.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
But Mom gets really offended by that, and so she
talks about how for some people it's really hard to
get pregnant. And they do keep bringing this up a lot,
because they talk about how the Ballaban's baby that their
babysitting is adopted because that family couldn't get pregnant. And
then Mom is like, oh shit, I should probably talk

(58:30):
to you about sex. Are you using protection? And Mom
even says that diaphragms are are dumb? How come she's
not on the pill? Leita doesn't want to be on
the pill. She says the pill is dangerous, and Mom
rightly says, I'm gonna go ahead and read this part.
Mom rightly says, Oh, that's such nonsense. They make up
all those stories just to scare people. They want women

(58:54):
to get pregnant, that's all there is to it. They're
just afraid that if they don't sit at home having babies,
they'll take jobs away from men. And they're right they
will because they're better and they should have Joe's jobs like, yes,
Mom say it. Yes, boy, Mom sounds like me.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
Up until now, I've been a little like whatever about Mom.
But I'm like, oh, okay, tell me more, Mom, say
go off.

Speaker 2 (59:18):
Yes, And she does say more because of the next paragraph.
H she says what men have done to women is
worse than what the Nazis did to the Jews, which, oh, boy, Mom,
you can't be saying that, and they're Jewish, there are Jewish.
But I do you know, I know what it feels

(59:39):
like to get on a good old feminist tear, and
sometimes you do be saying stuff like that. Just today
I said to my dad, I was like, I think
I think the Dallas Cowboys.

Speaker 3 (59:51):
Cheerleaders not having healthcare and not having livable wages is
the human rights atrocity.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
It's very mad, but it is. Oh.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
I agree. Also, at some point we need to hear
your most recent Salome update, if you were willing to
talk about it. Oh, but that seems similar.

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Yeah, we've had so many tangents this episode, but I
hope you guys won't mind one more. So, remember how
we learned about the story of Salabei and John the Baptist.
Quick recap It is like a lady who had a
crush on John the Baptist. He didn't like her back
because he was holy, and so she asked her stepdad
to cut off his head and he did. Uh, and

(01:00:38):
there's a lot of art depicting her holding his head
and it's macab Anyway, I was on Twitter, which shouldn't
be on because Twitter is a bad site owned my Nazis.
But I was on Twitter and somebody was like, Oh,
these fucking girls who are talking about this painting and

(01:00:58):
being for it don't even know what this woman did.
Then they're for it. And I was being a stinker
and I said, I know what she did, and I'm
for it, and I just went to bed. I didn't
think about it. And then I woke up to tens
of responses about my response to that, and a couple

(01:01:19):
of them were funny. They were like, oh, girl, no,
Harriet is bad. They were like funny and telling me
rightly that I was rooting for the villain and the story.
But then other ones were like fat cunt. One said,
of course you would say that pronouns Oh my god, woa.

(01:01:44):
So yeah, so a I am the bad guy because
I'm still on a website owned by bad people, and
I said something flipant to a stranger about people who
are actually the villains of a story. I'll take that,
But the joke I made was that, like, hmm, yeah,

(01:02:05):
when you're also calling strangers fat cunt sluts, it sure
does make me want to cut people's heads off indiscriminately.
So I get her. I'm a Salome stand till I die.
Good for you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
I applaud you. I stand your ground. Yeah you're not alone.
You're not alone, Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
Well, anyway, mom's a feminist. They're talking about babies. Uh,
Joel's like, yeah, maybe I want to have a wife
and kid. I don't know, I never thought about babies.
And then all of a sudden he seems to notice
them everywhere, Like they go to the park with the
ballabands and Lida's pushing the baby on the swing. Joel
is almost jealous of the baby because he's like, the

(01:02:48):
baby loves Leda, like really into Leda.

Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
And then he says a weird thing about like it
being sexual.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
I was like, what ew where because I feel like
I remember clocking that too. Oh yes, yes, oh my god,
oh my god, Oh my god. Oh my god, yes, okay, anyway,
there's this. It's on page one five. So anyway, they're
at the park with this baby and people mistake the
baby for Lyda and Joel's baby, and they have to
explain their babysitting, and it just he's still thinking. He's

(01:03:18):
still thinking, he's still thinking. He meets a guy at
the park who said that he and his wife had
a baby when they were Joel and Lida's age, and
their parents disown them, so it's like he's seeing all
these things flash before his eyes. Then they go to
drop Keith off with his parents, and the baby cries

(01:03:40):
when Leda leaves, and so Joel says this, he goes,
I never realized babies had such strong feelings. I knew
they cried if they were hungry or wanted you to
change their diapers, but it was kind of clear that
this kid just wanted Leda. He didn't want his mother
or anything else. It was almost like a sexual thing. Baby.
Why this is fucked up? What do you mean?

Speaker 10 (01:04:04):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:04:06):
Like? Uh, And I think if I'm getting Joel like
the benefit of the doubt, it's like he wants her
in like a prime way, like babies want their moms
or like babies want this mother figure in the same
way that we want sex in kind of a primal
way like Joel was talking about earlier. It's like it's

(01:04:28):
not mood dependent or whatever, but still say it a
different way. I even wrote, I wrote in my margin, Joel,
and then I did a sad face.

Speaker 3 (01:04:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
No, I'm glad you like gave him the benefit of
the doubt there, because I was rapping my brain like
in what sense could this be interpreted differently? But I
think you're right. It's more kind of like that all
consuming need.

Speaker 2 (01:04:56):
Yeah maybe, but I still don't like that he said
it that way.

Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
Let's like put these two things in separate buckets, do.

Speaker 2 (01:05:04):
Yeah, exactly. So that's the end of chapter fifteen.

Speaker 1 (01:05:09):
I'm usually somebody that doesn't mind spoilers, you know, Like
typically I would kind of like skim the last couple
pages of this book to see if there's any mention
of a baby or a pregnancy pepo for the sake
of this podcast, I am not going to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
So, oh my gosh, you would do that to a
book you were just casually reading.

Speaker 1 (01:05:29):
Oh hell, yeah, oh my god, that's nuts. Yeah. Uh,
I'd spoil things for myself all the time, and I
don't care. I don't care.

Speaker 2 (01:05:40):
Wow, Well, I'd love to hear everybody's speculations. We're almost
done with this book, will probably be done by the holidays,
so that's exciting. I'm gonna pivot us to a closing segment,
and that closing segment is something we teased last episode.
But it's called Your book Club. Your book Club, and
this is where Jody and I find are old yearbooks

(01:06:02):
and based on a theme. Every week we read one
inscription in it. So Jody, you want to tell them
what the theme is and read your entry.

Speaker 1 (01:06:11):
This week, the theme is crush.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
This was a hard one because I had crushes on
probably twenty five boys at any given time.

Speaker 2 (01:06:25):
So.

Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
Picking the one was difficult. But this one is short
and sweet, actually not sweet. Little background so that my
senior year of high school, I went to prom with
a guy who we had had crushes on each other
all year, all year, all year. It was the kind

(01:06:48):
of thing where like his friends were saying things to
me and my friends were saying things to him, and
everybody wanted us to get together, but we were both
just like, for whatever reason, just so awkward around each other,
like I he was kind of an awkward guy, and
then it made me awkward. And then the fact that
everybody was like, have you kissed yet? Have you kissed yet?
It was like so middle school, but it was high

(01:07:10):
school and we had gone to like a couple parties,
found ourselves like chatting in a corner for hours, but
like neither one of us would make the first move.
So it turns out now he is married to a
very nice man, and he, I guess wasn't interested in

(01:07:36):
girls but didn't realize it. So that explains a lot.
But anyway, we went to prompt together because it was
kind of like this is our moment, but to avoid
the awkwardness that did ensue, I was drinking before we

(01:07:56):
met up and forgot his boutineer at home. Oh no,
and made it through prom, And the whole thing with
our prom was like the after party was like the
main event. We went to the after party and I
decided that I was just like done feeling awkward, and
so I just pretended to fall asleep on a couch.

(01:08:20):
That's really funny, And I think the assumption was that
like she is hammered, she's passed out. I was very
cognizant of the whole thing, but I was just like,
you know.

Speaker 2 (01:08:33):
Fake sleeping fakes.

Speaker 3 (01:08:35):
Woo.

Speaker 2 (01:08:36):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:08:37):
After that, he never talked to me again. Oh this
is what he wrote.

Speaker 2 (01:08:42):
Oh my god, oh my god, Oh my god. Am
I good? Also, do you mind saying what year yearbook?

Speaker 5 (01:08:47):
This is?

Speaker 2 (01:08:47):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:08:48):
This is uh ninety seven?

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
Okay, great, Hey, Jodie.

Speaker 1 (01:08:54):
Prom was a lot of fun. Thanks for the boot neer. Sorry,
I didn't write you in my supplement. Oh, because we
had these like things. It's called the senior supplement, where
you like just take as much space as you want
to write your friends all these inside jokes, and it's
published for the whole world to see. He didn't write

(01:09:17):
me in his supplement. I wrote him in mine, and
then he wrote see year around ps avoid the clap.

Speaker 2 (01:09:27):
Oh that's so funny. Oh my god, that's so funny.

Speaker 1 (01:09:34):
I still feel like, oh, I like it's taking me
this many years to be able to talk about it
because I was such a mortified period.

Speaker 2 (01:09:45):
Especially if you're like, oh my god, I'm giving this
to my crush. This is the this is the moment
that you say what they feel about me and they're like,
avoid the clap.

Speaker 1 (01:09:55):
Avoid the clap. Mm hmmm soun.

Speaker 2 (01:10:00):
A reference to a movie or something.

Speaker 1 (01:10:02):
I don't know, you know what I hold on? Let
me see that void like class. Oh, somebody wrote it
on a baseball hold on?

Speaker 2 (01:10:18):
Yeah, what is that from?

Speaker 5 (01:10:21):
That's from a movie?

Speaker 1 (01:10:22):
Oh, jim who's Jimmy Dugan?

Speaker 2 (01:10:25):
Oh oh that's in a league of their own? Oh
so yeah, Tom Tom Hanks writes it on a little
boys baseball?

Speaker 1 (01:10:36):
Amazing? Okay, Well, I mean that makes you feel a
little better.

Speaker 2 (01:10:42):
He wasn't just like you, of all people better. I
bet he wrote that and everybody's your books.

Speaker 1 (01:10:46):
Okay, but yeah, that was like the most disappointing crush
inscription I've ever received. Thankfully, I did have many others
that made up for it, but that this one stands
out in like my my archives of disappointment and shame And.

Speaker 2 (01:11:04):
Oh what were you drinking to pregame?

Speaker 1 (01:11:09):
Oh god, I don't remember. So this was in London
and so drinking age was eighteen. Yeah, So we were
like like meet up at friends' houses and their parents
would like bring us champagne. So I think there was
a lot of champagne we could drink it prom.

Speaker 2 (01:11:28):
Wow, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:11:31):
Yeah, school paid.

Speaker 2 (01:11:32):
For alcohol or you had to pay.

Speaker 1 (01:11:34):
I don't remember. Actually, yeah, that would be crazy if
they paid for alcohol, but I guess. But I also
don't remember bringing.

Speaker 2 (01:11:42):
Like cash, right was it? Also? Was it called prom?
Or is prom called like debs in in the UK?

Speaker 12 (01:11:49):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:11:49):
Well, so ours was prom because it was an international
school and they followed like the American system of things.
So cool.

Speaker 2 (01:11:57):
Did you have a theme for your prom? Do you remember?
Were you wasted? No?

Speaker 1 (01:12:02):
It was wasted, but it wasn't a theme. It was
just very fancy. I remember, like people really dressed to
the nines and my date wore a traditional like kilt situation.

Speaker 2 (01:12:15):
Obviously, you have to show your picture. You have to
send me your picture. Oh ysh okay, Well that's pretty
apt because I also brought my senior year yearbook and
I also brought the inscription from my prom date. Oh oh,
so my senior year was two thousand and nine and

(01:12:37):
I had my whole high school. I had a crush
on my boy best friend, and I had a huge
crush on him, huge you juge. I in my brain
at the time, I was like, I'm being show secretive
with how much I love him, and in actuality, I
was like telling everybody about it all the time and
acting on it all the time. I remember even my

(01:12:58):
inscription that I wrote in his yearbook at the same
year was like, I hope we're freendch forever. I hope
you'll be at my wedding. Ha ha. What if you
were the groom eloel Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:13:10):
You remember that, because that means that you were like
planning to write that.

Speaker 2 (01:13:14):
I was, and I was shooting my shot with this
guy big time, without ever saying any thing explicitly, but
just being like so obvious. Actually, let me read this
this inscription, and then I'll tell you afterwards the book reveal.
But we went to prom together, and this is what
he signed in my yearbook. Also, the yearbook page says

(01:13:37):
like designated for this person because I saved this page
for them. Oh okay, and so when I read this
for you, you will realize how there could be some
mis signals going on. Okay, So it said, dear Molly, Golly,
we have had some good times, haven't we. It's really

(01:14:00):
sad to think that we'll only have fun times on breaks.
Needless to say, you are by far one of my
closest friends, and I love you deeply. All of the
good times and memories come rushing back to me and
I feel like crying. You are going to have a
blast in Frisco, and I hope you do have all
the fun that I can't have, and never forget anything

(01:14:23):
that we've done together. I really don't have words to
sum up all that you mean to me, but don't
feel bad because the words don't exist. I wish they did,
because I'd love to tell you love always, You're bestie.
And then they put their name and their email and
their phone number. That's very heartfelt and very sweet and

(01:14:46):
also really laying it on thick, I think for somebody
who loves you platonically. So what happened was, this was
my best friend and we were in a group of friends,
and I pitched the idea, let's all go to prom together, me,
my crush, and this other girl who I was friends with,

(01:15:08):
And so the three of us went to prom together
and they came to my house to take pictures on
my lawn, all three of us, their parents came and
we all took pictures on my lawn, and then we
all went to the dance and at the dance. At
one point I told my friend, not my crush. I
told my friend, hey, can you give us some alone

(01:15:30):
time because I think I'm finally going to make my
move on my crush. And my friend was like, oh okay,
and she kind of like sat out a dance or two,
and I got too scared, so I didn't do anything.
You know, this was as close as anything ever got.

(01:15:51):
And then I went to college and came back in
Christmas break, and at Christmas break, my friend who is
my crush, took me out to lunch and he said,
I have to tell you something. He said, I've been
dating our other friend since senior year and it was

(01:16:13):
and he goes, and we didn't tell you because we
thought you would kill yourself. So I really had a
Sally Field and missus doubtfire, like the whole time, the
whole time, the whole time.

Speaker 1 (01:16:28):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (01:16:31):
So what had further happened was because they were dating
at prom, they went to his parents' house and took
you know.

Speaker 2 (01:16:43):
Couple prom pictures and then they're like, well, we gotta
throw Molly a bone. So they all of those people
and their parents got in separate cars and drove to
my house and were like, oh, first time I'm seeing
you today.

Speaker 6 (01:17:05):
Yeah yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:17:11):
So that didn't feel great. Oh no, but it was.
It was all good. We stayed friends after that. And
then there's an addendum to this story that I'll tell
you off air, But I'm still friends with my friend
who was dating. We're still friends and she actually just
moved into my apartment building.

Speaker 1 (01:17:30):
So oh god, you were and Fenway, yeah, I cannot sorry,
But back to the inscription, like the last sentence or.

Speaker 2 (01:17:43):
Two, oh yeah, he's like, I wish I could tell
you with words, but the words don't exist, Like, uh,
just just right, don't get the clap, lean me on.

Speaker 1 (01:17:57):
Yeah, at least I knew where I stood very clear
after that. Holy shit, that is the best story I've
ever heard. And I just can't imagine how devastating.

Speaker 2 (01:18:08):
Oh so, just like mortifying, so mortified. Like adults were
involved in this, that's the thing.

Speaker 1 (01:18:17):
Didn't any grown up step in and be like, hey,
this is not this is mean.

Speaker 2 (01:18:22):
Like if if my kid was doing this, I would
be absolutely not. I'm not going to do this. You
have to tell this person. You have to learn how
to use your words and tell this person I'm not
doing this fucking cloak and dagger shit. Yeah no, So
that was your book club.

Speaker 1 (01:18:39):
Your book club. I love your book club.

Speaker 2 (01:18:42):
Let us know if you have any themes for the next.

Speaker 1 (01:18:46):
Read and I also want to hear your book club
entries from bluempat Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (01:18:52):
Please Yeah, if send in your your book club entries
from crushes that's the theme this week.

Speaker 1 (01:18:57):
And maybe it can be someone you had a crush
on or something that had a crush on you.

Speaker 2 (01:19:03):
Any We'll take any of them, any and all.

Speaker 1 (01:19:06):
Bybe onom As. We love you, Bye bye.