The Language of Desire: Writing the Same Story | E7E80

 What does it take for couples to stay on the same page? How do we keep the spark alive as our love story evolves?

Maurice shares how communication and connection require contact effort to encure both partners fell aligned. He reflects on his 25-year marriage with Kafi had compromise, growth and collaboration to keep the spark.

The Language of Desire, is our multi-part series that focuses on how we communicate our emotional and physical needs by using unspoken cues and the power of subtle expressions to strengthen our relationship. #languageofdesire

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This episode includes AI-generated content.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
What does it take to stay on the same page.
Let's talk about it right after this, Let's talk about
love and man, the way of God intend like experience
TV show Transform. All right, we're gonna jump allway into

(00:32):
this real quick, because if you knows, I did not
allow the music to stop because I want to jump
on the topic that Kafa just offered up to each
and every one of us talking about reading between the lines. Now,
I want you to understand something. When she kept saying
that or talking about that, my mentality was, there's a

(00:55):
TV show about that, right, you know. But but it's
called Between the Lions. It's a kid's show and it
is a reading comprehension TV show for children between the
ages of four as seven. Here's the reason why this
is important and how it connects with what confiscated And

(01:16):
according to what I asked you very moment ago a
moment ago, what does it take to stay on the
same page? See, Unfortunately, sometimes we read between the lines
and we're reading something and we're either want to jump
ahead and jump to another page, or we are reading
it and we're not comprehending what is being mentioned at

(01:37):
that time. So what happens is that there is a
level of miscommunication. There's a level of where we could
be and could appear to be misaligned in what our
true objective purpose goal might be. So when it comes
to understanding whether or not we're on the same page,

(02:00):
are we able to read the same line similarly and
not and understand that, hey, you know what, we don't
need to jump to the next page because sometimes what
appears that we're reading the same line. So I'm gonna
use just an idea, right if, and I'm thinking of

(02:22):
a Bible verse, for God so loved the world that
he gave his only begotten son. Right now, it sounds
like it could be straightforward. It sounds like it could be,
but depending on what you've learned as a child, depending
on what you've learned in school, where you had what

(02:45):
if you were in church, what church edifice you were attending.
It depends on who was teaching it. And if you
decide to go to college or university or whatever it is,
some type of Bible school, whatever might be, they give
you all these other angles based off of for God

(03:05):
so love the world, And unfortunately, our influences changes the
definition of something that could appear to be so straightforward.
And so now we are listening to someone else talk
about Hey, for God, so love the world. Now we
want to be so analytical that we miss the mark.

(03:30):
So when Kafa speaks about body language and whatever it is,
I can't tell you how many times I was so
far off that I missed the mark. And there have
been times, most recently, where I've just sat there because
I was so quick to respond and not to really listen.

(03:52):
I was so quick to interject my opinion and whatever
it is, I wasn't paying attention. So it has been
such a constant effort that I have to put in
to make sure that we're on where someone might consider
the same page. And here's a reality when it comes

(04:17):
to our situation. Maybe it's the same for yourself. You
might literally be on the same page. You might really
be in the same sentence. You can even be on
the same word and for God so loved the world.
What does that word love mean? Love loved? For everyone?

(04:41):
It means something different, That emotion is different, that logical
analytical perspectives of that word are different with each and
every person. What are your true influences and so, and
if you don't know necessarily how that word affects the

(05:05):
other person, because there are some people that won't say
I love you because that word means that word means
something else. When I was a child, and you know,
I'm gonna say in my youth, but let me say
something like, you know, I really love my race car,

(05:27):
I love it, I love the color, I love this
toy or whatever it is. And my grandmother would tell me,
you don't love inanimate objects, you only love people. I
can't tell you how many times I've heard that. But
at the same time, I would not hear the word
love come out of her mouth to even say, grandson,
I love you. So what was the value of that

(05:48):
word love to her? And so we look at that
same being on the same page and reading the same
sentence and seeing the same word, that one word, What
does it truly mean? What's the real weight of it?
And what hoops and loops, essays, games, whatever it is?

(06:11):
What do people need to do in order for them
to experience that word? And that's something that for over
twenty five years of us being married, has been a
challenge for conf and I to understand that for one
another because and I only speak for myself, because I

(06:35):
then always take the time to understand her true value
on that word, because of maybe what I was looking for,
what I expected, may not have been what she was
willing to provide because she may not have been able
to express it, or it costs way too maybe the

(06:56):
cost was too much to even say it. And I'm
using as an example. That doesn't mean that my wife
don't tell me she loves me. She tell me she
loved me all the time. That's my girl, you know.
So when it comes to that, what is it that
your partner, what do they have to pay? Because God

(07:16):
will love the world that he gave his only begotten son,
that was a payment that he had to give. That
there was a sacrifice that he gave in order for
our sins to be paid for. So what is it now? Again,
it's not the same value, right, you know, we're not
telling you to give up your first born Abraham style, like,

(07:36):
we're not saying any of that stuff, right, But what
price do you have to pay to even say that
word love? And sometimes it could get cloudy because we
don't always know that price. We don't know the hurt,
the pain, the joy, the sorrow, the enthusiasm, whatever it is,

(08:01):
because we don't know what that meant for that individual.
In order for someone to say I love you, how
deep down inside do they have to dig to get
to that point. So my communication with Kafa has had
to grow over and over and over again, understanding more

(08:26):
and more of her desires and her dreams and her aspirations,
even if it felt like it did not align with mine,
and it doesn't have to. I always thought we had
to be on the exact same page everything, like you know,
we on page fifty three, we see the number three,
the same font. You know, we had to be that

(08:48):
exact at one point in my life. But I understand
now as I get older and more experiences that is
really okay that I might see the font and how
Vitica she sees in Times Roman, you know, whatever, Times
New Roman, whatever it might be. But we're on the
same page and we see things differently, more ornamentally. Whatever

(09:15):
the situation is, are you able to understand where that
person is coming from? And once you understand where that
person is, once you understand where you are, where does
your love really go? From that standpoint? So what you've

(09:42):
been getting over the last couple of episodes has really
been a walkthrough of our life, our experiences, our upside downs,
some things that we are challenging with on a daily
basis today, or situation we might have to deal with.

(10:05):
You know ten we old in them now, twenty years ago,
and so we encourage each and every one of you
to understand what it takes to endure time, to endure
the moments of growth, to see the seasons change. Because

(10:28):
right now my hair is changing major colors, Like I'm
in fall for real. But are you really aligned? And
are you okay that the vision that you both see,
those lines that you're reading don't always have to mean
the exact same thing. Allow people to be their individual

(10:50):
authentic selves and how that could be brought together and
also in that, how like that can keep the spark
in your marriage and your friendship, in your relationships even
with coworkers. You know, yes, I'm talking about from a

(11:13):
marriage perspective, but even when you're dealing with your coworkers
or clients or vendors or whatever the situation might be,
you have to try to look at things from more
than one perspective and be more understanding, compassionate in your
everyday dealings. But we're gonna go back to the marriage thing.

(11:34):
How does this ensure that just spark stay alive and
we'll talk to you just a little bit later. Thanks
for tuning in to another episode of a No Fruit podcast,
where we bring you fruitful conversations, ripen wisdom and love
that's deeply rooted. If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget
to subscribe, leave us a review, and share it with

(11:55):
someone who could use a little inspiration in their death.
Until next time, stay rooted in love and remember every
seed you plant today shapes the fruit of tomorrow.