Ep. 76 - "Vengeance: A Love Story" (2017)

How far would you go to seek Vengeance on someone for acts committed against someone completely unrelated to you? Good thing this man was around to solve everyone else's problems! This isn't just a story. It's a love story!

Episode Transcript

(00:04):
Hello, mess, I'm a lieutenantin the police department. I'm in the
middle of a homicide investigation. Tryto get my prescription. Please. The
whole time you stand there with thiswhom me expression on your face? Have
you ever been dragging to the sidewalkand being tell you best blood? No

(00:26):
man has spilt more blood in God'sname than I. How in the name
of Zeus is? But hole,did you get out of yourself? What
you really think? I let myselfget killed in a garbage truck? Well,
I hid in a soup can runit all the way to the city
dump because I was made for thissuper baby and I have the care.

(00:57):
What's up YouTube? It's the WickermanAnd this week we heard a tale about
a man who lost his phone andcalled the cops. But turns out the
cops were crooked and they hunted thisman down and they went stabby stabby,

(01:19):
stab stab and they got some avengeance and uh also there oh, I
hate the story and I got youjust heard that was awful? Crimmy Cram.
What's up? Jim? Hey?Hey, that's me And we've got
uh a poop and it's the wickerMan. Wow, I've never heard a

(01:48):
better intro in my entire life.UM My, my name is James,
and I just love hearing that,and I think we should do that every
episode. I hank, I thoughtthat was just wonderful. Actually, yours
would be more like. I wassitting in math class and and then the
they were trying to the diagram ofall the numbers, and there's prime numbers,

(02:09):
and you got your odd numbers andyour even numbers, and we put
them all in these circles, andthen the circles overlapped and you had a
Then Oh my god, it's likeit's like you. It's like if you
took all of my intros and putthem in the chat gee, just like

(02:34):
my brain is. That's so good. I love that. Um all right,
well approved, we'll keep We'll keepthe jokes coming every episode from here
on out. Um. Well,it's been a week since our last episode.
I know it's been a long week. You know, she's in a
week. Time is relative, butgood to be back here every every Sunday.
It's January fifteenth, um or youknow Nfield, just kid and Nick

(02:59):
Cage news was awesome, right,it's I heard I heard his draculas.
It is so good. And there'sso much Peter Lowe in it. Like
I don't want to I don't wantto spoil anything for you guys or for
the listeners, so I won't saytoo much. But there will be moments
where you say, oh my god, that is straight from Vampire's Kiss.
And it's also it's just one ofthe funniest movies I've seen in a long

(03:20):
time. I think even non Cagefans will find it quite funny. I
was in a pretty full theater andeverybody was was cackling the entire time.
Yeah, so yeah, highly recommendit's it's excellent, and gootiate it in
theaters if you can. Hell yeah, I'm gonna try to catch it this
week. Nice Well, unlike that, we watched a terrible film that had

(03:45):
Nick Cage in it. I'll justpay it, don't think back. But
yeah, it is my opinion aboutopening statements before we just started. Yea,
yeah, we watched Vengeance a loveStory. It was released released March
twenty seven, twenty seventeen, inthe UK, but then September fifteenth,
twenty seventeen here in the US.Um directed by a friend of the show,

(04:10):
Johnny Martin. Um good friend yeah, a big good friends love that
based on a book with a march. Oh yeah, I got my list
here. It's been a minute.It's been a minute since we've a long
week. Like I said, you'vedone this well, Google Meet sucks because
Hank just keeps freezing frozen. We'vetried, we tried to switch from zoom
and and Hanks just Hanks toast.You might have to just go to zoom.

(04:33):
Maybe Google heard your intro and waslike, we we have the host
here, who needs who needs?This is time? I mean I think
I think we might uh hank youthere. Well, I mean I'll start

(04:59):
giving my thought. It's on thiswacky and wild and woo wo wo hit
woo hango hung. That was tumultuous. Yeah, I was just saying we

(05:23):
might uh Google me might be um, might be done forever because you just
keep freezing. So yeah, thatmight be it. Um yeah, we're
doing this one on Google Mego,not Zoom and AJ described this movie as
woo um. So you missed thatas woo wacky, whimsical and woo um.
Okay, yeah right, yeah,I don't know. I don't know

(05:44):
where you were at in the intro, Hank when you when you um or
where Martin a friend of the show. I don't know if you heard me
say this, but it was basedon a book with a much more nuanced
title, which was rape a LoveStory. Oh boy, oh wow,
who would have thought I could getworse? For sure, you were not,

(06:08):
like you were being serious that itwas a less nuanced title, because
how could you be less nuanced thanvengeance a love story? But that really,
that hits it right and what itis. I don't know what the
love story was, but um,yeah, it hits it right and the
joyables some might say on this,well, just to knock this out,

(06:30):
I got old IMDb here we hadour boy Nick k just John, which
I never even knew that was hisname in this John? When was he
called John? It's just you don'teven have what was he called? None
of them do, None of thesecharacters except for Jake Kirkpatrick, like Don
Johnson the lawyer. Otherwise no oneelse has a else one word names,

(06:54):
you know, like Anna Anna Hutchinson, she was Tina but it's tea and
a. Um, this is aweird one you have. I don't know
who did their IMDb, but thedaughter was played by Talitha Aliana Bateman who
played Bethy. But then it saysas Talitha later in her career, she
decided to throw in the Elena orEliana or whatever because yeah, it makes

(07:17):
the name flow way more totally totally. Uh. And then the grandmother,
who of course is named Agnes,was played by Deborah Kara Unger, but
she looked like, um, Ijust can't referring here, was like not
Marissa to may All, that's whyshe was not Marissa. Mayn't yeah,

(07:42):
um. And then and then theGang Rapists is just a bunch of weirdos.
Yeah, what do we What dowe think about vengeance a love story?
Yeah? No, I think youhit the nail on the head.
It's a terrible movie. It wasterrible, and this is my least favorite
kind of movie. And I'm worriedthat just based on as I think AJ
might have actually liked this. Butwell, no, I'm waitning AJ tell

(08:05):
us why you liked this film?You love this? This is a terrible
movie. But it was so badin certain ways that I have found redeeming
qualities about it because it you know, if it was really just trying to
be a serious movie, that's liketrying to tell uh, you know story,

(08:31):
which it was. That's what itwas. Let it was. It
wasn't it wasn't a comedy or thiswas a parody. Come on, no,
it wasn't. That's my issue withthis movie is it was so First
of all, google meat sucks.I just got to get that out there
again, is a different orientation forsome reason this. Um. Secondly,

(08:54):
I just want to say, themovies that I enjoy watching are the ones
that are either so bad they're funny, or they're good, or they're intentionally
bad, Like I don't mind ayou know, a movie that's like kind
of knows what it is and itis intentionally bad. This movie was none
of those. It was just abad movie. And it's thought. It

(09:16):
was a real movie, and ittook itself like a real you could not
have boreally made. That's what Ithought at first. But it no,
I promise you this it was aserious movie. And yeah, I mean
I don't know it was. Itreally lost me at the five minute rape

(09:37):
scene, which which we can talkabout, but um, yeah, this
this was a horrible It was.It was terrible. It was terrible.
It was not tasteful, No,I found this movie frustrating and offensive and
and just just awful. And itwas so miserable. And it was one
of those movies where like, afteran hour, I checked to see how

(09:58):
much time was left and I waslike, that was an hour because it
felt like five years it was.It's so it was completely nonsensical and I
so I started this movie on onWednesday, and I made it to the
point where and we can talk aboutall this and we'll got to whatever.
But cages on the witness stand andhe says, me and my partner were

(10:24):
out on a call and oh he'slost again. And I was saying beforehand
cut out that this movie is nonsensical. And so I started watching it on

(10:45):
a Wednesday, and um, Igot up to the point and we can
talk about all this, but Igot I got up to the point where
Cages on the witness stand and hesays me and my partner, and the
judge goes, we'll hold on aminute, son, it's my partner and
I and I just shut it out. I just was like, I'm in

(11:05):
a DNF this, I'm not watchingany more of this. I just shut
it off. And then I waslike that judge was the most frustrating character.
It was. It was infuriating anddidn't make any sense, like it
just that wasn't a real character thatthat person was portraying. So I shut
it off and then I ended uppicking it back up and I did finish
it on Thursday. But it was, Yeah, that this movie sucked DJ.

(11:30):
I don't know. It was tryingto do something that it just it
wasn't. So here's here's Here's whereI'm coming from is like you you like,
you have a kid in school andhe's about to take a test,
right, He's a rebel kind ofkid, and he is trying to get

(11:54):
a zero on the test, andso he answers all the questions wrong,
and the teacher comes up to thekid afterwards and he's like, hey,
you know, I know that youit's not that you just don't know the
material right. Because you didn't knowthe material, you probably could have guessed

(12:15):
and gotten some of these right.But this shows that you're smart, that
you know the material, but youjust want to get all of the questions
wrong. And what you're talking aboutthis is a parable guys, come on,
follow me here. It It showsthat the makers of this movie are

(12:39):
purposely trying to like fuck up becauseeverything about this movie is wrong every way.
Why would they purposefully try to fuckup their own Yeah, it doesn't.
That doesn't make a lick of sense. It's a parody, guys.
The title is Vengeance loves Story.How do you get like worse and more

(13:01):
corny? It's better than rape alove Story. I'll give them that.
They made one positive adjustment, right, but it's it's still it's like,
it's the worst title you could youcould have for a movie anything Comma or
cole in a Love Story is justlike, yeah, but it's it's but

(13:22):
it's based on a book, andthe book was well received enough to make
a movie, and the and thebook is something cole in a Love Story.
It's not you're giving, You're you'retrying to make something here that it's
it's just not it's it's just theymade a shitty film. This really shows,
dear listeners, is James and Isaw the film for what it was.
Aj saw it as a parody,which it's not, which means he

(13:45):
saw it is a terrible movie.Yes, it's a terrible exactly, no
matter how you look at it.And I also realized just real quick.
Um, the quick we haven't reallyexplained it what it was, what it
the movie is? The quick outlineof it is Nick Cage is playing a
grizzled detective and early on her movie, he loses Yeah, he loses his

(14:05):
partner, Um, you know,in a shootout in open day like a
children's street. Um. That wasmy favorite part of the movie. By
the way it was. It wasit was well I had to have a
note about that that we'll get toin a moment. Um. But yeah,
he loses his partner. So he'syou know, super super upset.
And now he's back on the forceand day one back on the force.
Uh, there's this woman that heran into a bar at one point and

(14:26):
she's sort of a free spirit.Um. But she has a daughter and
she's at a party on Fourth ofJuly and she's leaving the party and then
they're walking back home and the daughter'slike, oh, I know a short
cut through the woods and no badmovie neighborhood, let me go. That's
what the daughter said. Tina,her daughter was afraid and and having some
scary times because Tina's husband and herfather died. The daughter's father, Yes,

(14:52):
and she was crying, and Tinasaid, I know a short cut.
Let me take you through these scarywoods where she knows. Oh I
thought I was the girl that no, it was her. Yeah, and
people there, and she's like,yeah, I just want to say,
well, anyways, I'm just sayingit was a horrible to say they gang
rape her, these people they runinto. It's it's a brutal thing to

(15:15):
watch. Skip this. Yeah that'sfair. And and sorry, see's my
throat there, um, but yeah, it's it's it's really uncomfortable. And
I mean, look, you knowwe're talking about this subject, so to
get it out the way, likeit is just as far as filmmaking of
how this sort of situation happens,it is tasteless. It is terrible.
It is a zero out of tenas far as how you would film something

(15:35):
like this and and portray this scenario. Um, it was just bad.
There's almost no need to ever showlike an entire rape in a movie,
No, especially not this. Yeah. I would think, like, you
know, I've watched some maybe morenuanced films where um, it's trying to
show like bad, bad things thathappened in a marriage or whatever, and

(15:56):
and but even those are shot justso much more tastefully. Even if you're
gonna show but this could have beendone in twenty seconds. You could have
had the guy punch her one time. Implied a million directions that could gone,
and they went with the worst,and it's it's really hard to watch.
And what I found, the onlymaybe positive I'll give this movie is

(16:18):
I found it interesting realizing that itwasn't going to be a big action movie
like I thought it was going tobe. It was more of a courtroom
procedural drama of like, what happensin this situation, supposedly what happens in
the real world, What is theidea happen? What happened? Yea is
like and yeah, Eddie, it'sreally And eventually Cage he's he's, you

(16:41):
know, obviously like he's he's theone that finds the daughter when she's running
away and they find out what happened, blah blah blah. We before there's
a big case about it, butCage just takes it upon himself to go
vigilante mode. And there's four there'sfour men that were involved in this,
and they get off for the mostWe'll talk about the court scene, it's
it's unbelievable, but they end upgetting basically off from the hearing. They're

(17:02):
fine, and Cage essentially like huntsthem down and kills them all um going
around justice, and then the familyis happy again and they moved to California,
which is which is where I willdisagree with you, Hank Is.
I would have the only scenes Iliked in this movie where the two and
a half minutes we've got a Cageplaying vigilante. Well, how many times
he's so fast with this gun?I want to see I want to see

(17:26):
this cage in John Wyns. Iwould have way preferred a full movie of
that as opposed to what we got. But sure, well, my problem
with it is this was obviously tryingto be a talking about, you know,
how women are treated in these situationsand what it looks like in the
courthouse, which we all you know, I'm sure have picked up on what
this is. My my issue withthe Cage stuff, and love them to

(17:47):
death, always will and they werefun scenes their own, but it's like,
Okay, this will never be solvedunless a man fixes it for her,
you know, this whole thing,and it's just the movie is so
it's so a far off base andit's offensive and I hate it. Yep,
I agree to everything they tried todo. They were just absolutely wrong,
like completely and utterly wrong. Becauseif if you are trying to make

(18:11):
it a piece about like how youknow, women could be mistreated and their
voices may not be heard at atrial where they're obviously the victim, like
that wasn't this movie either. Youknow, from from the very first time
you see Tina, she like comesinto that bar and has that interaction with

(18:34):
Cage where he literally doesn't say likesingle or anything the least sam He didn't
say anything like this entire movie.He was just silent as as chaos rained
down around him. But like,oh, it was just so distasteful and
well. The other thing too,is like the moment you meet Tina and

(18:57):
the bar is everyone's like calling hera whore and and like she's sing around
yeah, and it's like so thenit's like even if even if they did
that and it was setting up likethe fact that in court they're gonna say
that she you know, slept aroundand this was consent, it would have

(19:18):
made more sense except for the factthat she was beaten to a pulp,
Like it didn't it didn't make itany she would have died if the daughter
wasn't there to find help. Likeyeah, it's and and you have the
judge and the prosecutor you know,or the defense defense attorney fist pumping each
other and like hugging each other andnever letting the lawyer of the of Tina

(19:41):
talk talk, you know, oror have a time on this. It
was the most frustrating courtroom scene I'veever seen. It really was. And
it wasn't even it wasn't even yeah, it was a hearing, like it
was so and oh that scene whenwhen the two lawyers are in the judge's
office later on and like they getup to leave and he just shuts her

(20:02):
down and then like he literally islike fist bumping and handshaking like the defense
Fitzpatrick. And it's just like,what is the point that they're trying to
make that men are terrible? Thisis not the way to go about but
also the only way that women canbe safe. So it's like, yeah,
exactly, So it's I hate it, Johnny, you son of a

(20:23):
b I know you're a friend ofthe show, but I can't do it
with this one. But what aboutthe fact that like they're having this trial
and this like brilliant you know,fucking the Hollywood type lawyer that's like painting
the picture um of of his youknow, he's a jury There's two tales

(20:48):
in every jury trial, and thejury goes with the one they like best.
And while this guy is like paintingthe picture for like what actually happened,
right, Like this woman is awhore and the sex was consensual and
everyone was drunk and like and thefucking the courtroom is hooting and hollering like
a crazy town, like a Baptistchurch, I mean, like everything he

(21:14):
says everyone you know, like thatthere were sixty two twelve ounce beers in
one kg. And it's like notonly that, but also you have the
four defendants like making you know,making tongue motions at at the at Tina,
and none of this would ever happenin a courtroom. It was,

(21:37):
but like, not only is thatthe story that is believed, but like
where where's the testimony from the guywho like operated on her and like reattached
her brainstem? They had consensual butshe like can you take the sunglasses off?

(22:00):
Take your son. It's not toobright. It's not too bright.
She you know, she she cansquint, says the judge. The terrible
concussion and brain injury from getting theship beaten out of her, so she's
very sensitive to light. Yeah,but it doesn't look very professional, does
it? Take your judge? Likeand and like where was everybody? They

(22:21):
shouldn't have been there because this wasjust a pre trial hearing this. The
jury wasn't even selected. Like,if this case goes to court, she's
winning. She's winning. It's it'sover which they they lightly touch on at
one point and nah, then kayjust kills everyone. So justice really wasn't

(22:42):
kind of sir. I mean thestory, by the way, yeah,
where was the well okay wait,let me okay. So at the beginning
of the movie, I was likewhen whenever there they have to shootout and
they kills the partner. Very beginningit was like super low budget. Obviously
the whole movie is, but likeI I initially thought, all right,

(23:03):
maybe this movie will be Okay,it's just low budget, but maybe like
it'll be fine because like I don'tknow, it's always fun to see Cage
be a grizzled detective, you know, and then he's at the bar drinking
alone and it cuts to um toTina and immediately plays that like romance music
and it's like slow motion for amoving but that it was. It was
like a parody where like you seesomeone and it's like rare, rare,

(23:26):
you know, basic, and likethey're in love and it's just like,
holy fuck, it's one of thesemovies. And then like the rape happens
and I'm like, oh, it'sone of these movies. And it's just
it was a it was a oneminute of like, oh, this could
be fun, and then a quickdrop well it's weird too. I just
looked it up to confirm. ButI guess in the book, Cage's character

(23:48):
has a he has a last namein the book, it's John Drew more
Um. But they they basically fallin love and Tina learns to love again
through this character. And apparently thebook has written just as poorly as the
movie plays out, but at leastthe title makes some kind of sense.
Yeah, I get that at allfrom this. I did out of out

(24:11):
of any context. I did likewhen he forced the guy to write a
suicide note and then shot him inthe fucking hand. Yeah, that was
awesome. Put your hand on thegun, put your hand on the yeah,
yeah, tap you know, orwhen he knocks those people off into
the waterfall that's like twenty feet tall, So I don't anything, just yeah.
Also, the sound mixing in thiswas was just horrific if one.

(24:37):
So I was watching with headphones on, and whenever there was music playing,
it was so blaringly loud. Ibasically had to turn the volume off,
and whenever there were people talking,I had to have the volume up.
I was adjusting my speakers. Itwas insane. I don't think they did
any any vo after. I thinkit was it was just quick, yeah,
quick and dirty movie. Yeah.I watched this. Also. I

(24:59):
watched this I'm Pluto TV and soI would get these ads that would come
in because it was free. Butthere was this fucking ad for Rhode Island
and it starts off with someone likegoogling like best places to get a snow
cone and Rhode Island, and likeI'm it would come into the worst times,
like the rape like just finishes andthen it's like ding d ding ding
ding, Hey, you want toget you want to go mountain climbing and

(25:22):
Rhode Island, and I'm like,wait, is this the movie? Oh
fuck, it's a goddamn commercial andat least safe my like my my depression
that I was gaining from watching themovie, you know, but god damn,
like over times these commercials could havestepped it up a little bit,
could have been a little more tastefultoo. That's not the movie spot I'll
give them, which was nice.Did they have to like watch the movie

(25:49):
to decide where to place the ads? You actually do there there? Yeah,
there's like times of you it's especiallyon K I've done it before where
you I did it for Spider Mantwo, So maybe it's the movie man.
And if the person working for Plutowas just frustrated at this fucking movie,
did they do an ad mid rapebecause that would have been There was
another commercial for rints, which Iguess they'll fold your clothes for you and

(26:12):
like do your laundry and sometimes thatwould be first and I would love that
came up like right like mid midYeah, while what a child is watching
through like the bleacher or whatever?You know. I was actually listening to
a podcast today speaking of terrible adplacement. So listening to a podcast today

(26:32):
as a murder mystery podcast, andthey clearly just forgot to put in like
the ad music to Transition. Andthe guy's like, reading this this person's
Facebook post, and he goes andright, here is the incriminating evidence from
his Facebook post. And without missinga beat, he's like, and right
here is the incriminating evidence from hisFacebook post. If you want the best

(26:55):
cheese from it. He just goesright into add, Oh my god,
so the worst editing I've ever seen. Did you did you buy the cheese?
Yeah? I did, from fromsome farm in Massachusetts. Um,
but there was a couple of lines. Um. I wouldn't say I liked,
but there was a couple of lines. Um. There was one where

(27:18):
the cop says the juvenile did theyrape her too? And uh why they
call it the juvenile? The juvenile, nile, the girl, the kid,
yeah, daughter, basically anything juvenileas if she did something wrong?
Yeah yeah, And so they bringher in to U to pick out or
I guess they go try to roundup, you know, the usual suspects.

(27:41):
I like that scene, well Idid breaking through the doors and and
you know why I didn't like thatscene? Why did you like it because
there's a cop chasing one of thesuspects and the whole time he's just running
and he's going stop. They stopsabout about five minutes of him saying stop.

(28:04):
He should have said stop or mymom will shoot yea, And he
didn't know. Actually, hey,I actually did. Like I thought that
was actually a decent scene as faras this movie went. I thought you
were going to say I thought thatwas a decent joke. Um, yeah,
I mean, but it's like it'sthose moments of like in between action

(28:25):
where I'm like, maybe this director, Johnny Martin, which he only made
about six films that he directed,he used to be a stunt guy.
And that makes sense because some ofthe action stuff, even though slow budget
and shitty looking, you're like,all right, like I could see this
being a better movie if it wasjust a cage tracking down some terrible people.
Should and yeah, you know somethingsomething there instead of trying to tell

(28:48):
like there wasn't enough guys to killfor this venge exactly. Yeah, you
know, you can't make a twohour movie about four dickheads that he put
down. And I want to talkabout Anna Hutchinson. Hutchinson for a second,
whom I know. I like hera lot from Cabin in the Woods.
Yeah, she's it plays great inthat and a couple of things too.

(29:11):
And my initial note, no,my initial note was that she was
terrible, and then that was inthe beginning, and then like after the
scene happened, I thought it wasa lot better, just because then it
was obviously brought down and whatever.She was okay at best, but that
beginning scene in the bar where she'stalking to Cage. So I'm sorry,
Anne, Anna love, I loveyour acting, but that was rough.

(29:33):
It was so bad when she's justgoing off talking to Cage, like and
then I got worried. It's like, oh god, this movie's is going
to the worst place you can Butdon't you think that was a problem with
the writing? Like that wasting isbad too. She had save these lines
and the lines are ridiculous. Soif like you as an actor are like

(29:56):
reading this and trying to rehearse it, but it's like this is not how
any person would ever act in theirlife, Like this isn't real. Yes,
how could you get into a characterthat it didn't work? In this?
But didn't work? There was badacting beyond just that. I mean
it was ye. Also the scenewhere she's like dancing on the table for

(30:18):
five minutes and then it's like,well at that point it was. And
so I I had originally thought goinginto this movie that it was taking place
post her getting attacked. I thoughtthat maybe, and she's like kind of
just like off the walls mom becauseof her trauma that she had, and
this is the way that she took. I didn't realize that we were going

(30:40):
to see it in the movie.Um, So before that had happened,
I had written, like, isthis just the film like the director's excuse
to like watch her dance in slocationand put her in slotty outfits, and
yeah, do all that. Iwatch a full movie of that. So
it's just it's it's yeah, awful. And then she's and then she kind

(31:00):
of gets subsided just because of allthe other events that go downs. Are
acting comes back down to earth.But man, when everything pre the attack,
she was not good there. Tome. There there's two movies here.
There's vengeance and there's a love starstory. Right, they're completely separate

(31:22):
in my mind. And I andI think I realized that when Cage loses
his partner in the beginning, LikeI said, that was my favorite scene.
Like the opening credits starts and it'slike this knockoff Columbia lady, you
know, like holding a towel insteadof a robe. It was really weird

(31:44):
and I was like, oh,no, this is gonna be so bad.
And then like you know, youhave this opening scene of Cage just
like staring endlessly. There's no words. The side coops like chattering, chattering,
chattering. I'm like, oh mygod, I hate this. This
guy needs to die. And thenCage goes, hey, you good,

(32:05):
and he's like, yeah, I'mgood and then gets shot right in the
head point blank. What were thenwhen they were trying to stop that suspect?
Why did they do it like that? Oh? I don't know.
But the he's like trying to escapein an RV like an'll Winnebago campervan and
they're like trying to apprehend the guyand then he like drives up over this

(32:30):
small little car and that was good. That action was good, and I
was like, oh, okay,so here we have. It was like
maybe this will work, you know, this could be something. Maybe it's
not trash, right, and thenyou go into yeah, so then his
his his partner gets shot and Ikind of laughed at that because of the

(32:52):
timing of it, and it waslike, all right, cool. And
then it goes to this like scenewhere we meet Tina and she like sloppily
holy attempts to pick up Cage ata bar. And it was holy.
It was I would say, fantastic, but it was nose like woeful.

(33:14):
It was yeah. So and thenI was like, oh god, this
is awful. Like it it's notjust cliche and on the nose. It's
just like on the nose and thensmushing nose up against your faith, like
say, say, look at howterrible this is. And when you do
that, oh god, that's myfuture. I gotta go a Pakistan.

(33:43):
But I so like then I waslike, oh no, okay, so
here here we have two movies.We have the love story that is like
an action guy trying to fib hisbest love story but he knows nothing about
women or love or anything. Butsome of the action scenes are are good,
and then when you get to therape, it's like, oh man,

(34:07):
you fucked it up. Like you'retrying to make this like intense action
scene of a rape, but likeshowing the whole thing. Yeah, and
it was. And you don't wantto treat a rape scene like an action
scene, right, you know,Actually it's not a cool fighting like battle
moment. It's it's something very different. Apparently Cage was was supposed to direct

(34:34):
this movie but had a scheduling conflict, and which doesn't make sense because here's
something yeah, really really funny aboutthat. But yeah, but but how
does that happen? Descript and hesaid, nah, let someone else.
Let Johnny do this, like theyhad him, they had him booked and
stuff as an actor too, andthen he was like, I'm not going

(34:59):
to direct this, so they're justasked, well, I mean a three
week thing. Yeah. And healso he was not really in most of
the movie, so he probably youknow, he might have got a few
days of shooting. But yeah,well and this is his time where he
was pumping out movies. Yeah,I think he has five movies in twenty

(35:19):
seventeen. So yeah, we hadI'm looking at my notes for like Arsenal
and USS and Annapolis and Doggy Doggingall kinds of shit. Um, he
didn't have to memorize many lines forthis, James, you said, yeah,
really, you said, I wonderwhat it would be like if he
had directed it. I wonder whatit would be like if he did,
or like if you had just someoneelse that could because there there's there's something

(35:40):
here, yeah with the story.There's something you could do with this movie.
But it was just all the wrongpeople. I think that we're making
it and adapting it because even ifthe book sucks, which I have no
idea, I don't know anything aboutit, but like, there is an
interesting story here, and there isa way to tell a you know,
women getting oppressed, this is whatthe system looks like, and and exaggerating

(36:01):
the court maybe a little bit,just to hammer home like what it's like
in the experience of, you know, being a woman or just a victim
in this case. These are notthe people. There's a fucking stunt guy
that like made this movie. Like, it's not the people for this.
And that's also what pissing me offabout the movie because it could have been
something else. It could have beena credible movie if it was done by

(36:27):
someone that that would have more nuancewith the situation. Instead, it was
a hot garbage and I hated everyminute of it. And this is one
of the only times I haven't donemy laundry. So I just sat there
and watched it the whole time,and I was miserable. It was a
beautiful day here in California. Theweather has been shit for the entire year,
so watch this and it's finally sunnyin like seventy out at the windows

(36:52):
open. And I did think atone point, it's a fucking beautiful day
for the first time of the year. And I'm watching Vengeance a love story,
and I'm going to tell talk aboutit later. What would damn it?
What would you say was the worstpart of the movie? Hankies?
The scene? Right, yeah,I mean that's the that's the worst part
of the movie. But probably like, well the court scene is up there,

(37:15):
Yes, there is your right answer, So I just yeah, it
was so so stupid, and somovies don't have to be realistic, but
this was like you're not even trying, so it's so broken. You know,
what about you, a j Whatwould you say it was the worst
part the way you loved it?I did not love it, Okay,

(37:36):
y'all learn listening to me. Idid not love it. I could tolerat
it way better than you guys could. And I think that's because early on,
early on, I started watching thisas if it was a parody,
because in no way my mind couldI believe that this was somebody seriously trying
to make a movie. Um withthat. Yeah, anyway, you asked

(38:01):
me what the worst part was,and yeah, I think it's like our
introduction to Tina's character and her andnot just her acting, but it was
the lines and situations like awful inthe juxtaposition of her having this like really

(38:22):
serious conversation with her daughter about likethe the father who had passed away,
and the daughter's like, uh,you know, I don't even remember his
face anymore, and it's like thisreally tender moment, and that's what leads
you into hey, let's go downthis creepy alley. Oh god, yeah,

(38:45):
so bad at any point? No, and um yeah, those are
by the way, heads up,fellas, I'm getting the running time,
Yeah, okay, I don't know. I think yeah, ten minutes.
Yeah, we'll just talk to likefive minute mark and then we can just
start anyone. Yeah, but yeah, I think those are both valid answers
by you, guys. I'll giveit to you. It was the worst

(39:08):
scene, James, Well, thereis a worst scene, and it's the
scene where outside Tina's mom's house,which, by the way, her Tina's
room is still her little kid room. Is that the thing that happens when
you're in your thirties? Absolutely?The second I went to college, they

(39:32):
have a wait for me to decideif I was moving back after college.
It was gone, it was renovated. That was bad. But outside of
the house, Jimmy, who isone of the defendants, is trying to
I believe Yeah, I forgot it, and he's trying to intimidate them,
and he hangs their cat right outsidethe door. Yeah, I wanted to

(39:57):
bring out the cat, that's right. And little Betty walks outside it sees
the hanging cat, and it cutsback to Jimmy who's watching the house and
he says me ow and then drivesme out and that was the worst line
in movie history. No, doyou get it because like like ow,
like oh, how that hurts youknow what? He understands me. Oh,

(40:20):
I really gotta say, I don'tget it because it wasn't like a
like if he was saying me owlike he thought it was like sexy or
something, it might make sense.Sure, he only said it because it
was a cat. But there's nothingabout the way he said. There was
nothing about the scene that should makehim say me ow, even though even
hanging a cat there was yeah anyway, Well, what he should have done

(40:45):
is he is, he is.He should have held up that poster and
we've all seen that Luke had thecat that says hanging I would have been
better that, you know, andit was and drive away. Um see
I miss me ye I missed thatbecause I was more wrapped up on the
frustrating like series of events that followed, where instead of this girl like immediately

(41:13):
calling Cage who just gave her hispersonal number, um or calling her mom
or her grandma or somebody and beinglike, oh my god, look what
they did. They're harassing us,I saw him like she takes it down
and goes out and buries it inthe backyard, crying yeah, and then

(41:35):
Grandma's like, hey, where's thecat? And she's like, mom,
are you not kidding? The horizonsuposed to be like twelve or twelve.
It didn't make sense. That didn'tmake any sense. A pretty thing about
this movie was wrong. It wasjust wrong. There, Sorry, go
ahead, well she said did y'ellfeel this way? When they're at the

(41:58):
shoe store with grandma and the guyshows up in the mirror is the last
guy, and like, yeah,she's so excited to be Oh yeah,
I'm going shoe shopping and somebody toget her mind off all this shit.
Uh think, well, that's whatI was gonna ask, right, And
so like she looks down at thelittle shoe mirrors that you get, you
know, on the floors, andand the guy just appears there and he's
talking to her saying, you better, you know, you better say that

(42:20):
you never saw me there um atthe trial, otherwise I'll kill you or
whatever. And then and then hedisappears right when the grandma comes back,
and they play it like it's inher head, which could be I don't
know, something interesting somewhere, maybeI don't know. But why why do
that? Why like making that likea question like I think was there?

(42:43):
He definitely was there. He definitelywas. It's just because the movie not
that smart, but it's just likelike, but why this and or maybe
you started that angle because that's interesting. And then you cut to him like
real close to her, and likeyou know how he got into like an
imror agency exit he was in andhe wait, and he knew exactly when

(43:05):
she'd be at the shoe mirror sohe could walk out and talk to her
and then just leave before the grandmagot I mean, that was that didn't
make any sense. So what aboutwhat did y'all think about the um,

(43:30):
the fucking family, the mom andand the dad, because they were just
obnoxious. You mean, like thedefendants, right, the two brothers.
I wanted to talk about the lawyertoo, and that kind of leads ye,
so go ahead, a j yougo, you go. Um,
so the parents two of the defendantshis name, yeah, parents, two

(43:55):
of the four offenders, Uh,the same parents, and they are intent
on getting that right. Well,hey, there's a lot of familial situations.

(44:17):
We'll just we'll just say that theyhave the same parents because we don't
know where they came from. Butthey were idiots. Um, that was
fun. But their parents were veryobnoxious as to say, our Christian boys
could never have done such a thing. This is horrible. Yeah. They

(44:44):
call him the priest who's like,you know, we need we need help
here, we you know, andit doesn't look good. And the priest
is like, I don't know.It goes on this long soliloquy and then
he's like a, well, ifyou need the best, we got the
best. This guy's represented the Vaticaneighteen times, like right. Yeah.

(45:07):
It's like they try to say somethingabout the church too, like they have
this rightest like lawyer ready to go, and let's just like, oh,
my lord. And then they solicitthis guy and they have this whole conversation
with them, and they're talking aboutputting their house up for the retainer because
they don't have enough money to payhim like fifty grand per son and uh,

(45:30):
and he like saddles up to thedad kind of like rubs him on
the shoulder because the dad's kind oflike freaking out and he's like, hey,
man, uh, I don't know, because the dad's like, they
have our son's DNA, they're blood. The only rational he knew whole group.

(45:51):
Yeah yeah, the moment didn't wantto believe or just didn't believe whatever.
But the whole time that dad waslike they totally did this ever gonna
get sucked. And so the lawyerslike Hollywood, there's two stories that the
jury picks whatever when they live bestwhatever. And then he like pulls the
dad to the side and he's like, listen, you're paying me to keep

(46:15):
your boys out of jail so theydon't get raped like that innocent woman.
Yeah, that so that his son'sraped. Yeah, it's kind of like
almost bad for lawyers, like becausethat's not lawyers aren't like that, you
know, lawyers, this is nota real person. Yeah exactly. Lawyers

(46:39):
will know that the people are defendingare guilty, just you know, but
they'll never be told. They'll neversay things like that, you know,
like that was an insane, insanelike he's almost like a mustache twirling evil
like Jarney, you know, justlike like you know, like it's it's
it's insane and Dumbo, yes exactly, but it's not as good looking.

(47:02):
Yeah, but I love them soby way of course, of course we
all do. It's it's not hisfault. Um fuck him and fuck this
movie and fuck all of it.But like yeah, you know, and
like there's like the scene with himand the other lawyer and like they're kind
of just talking about it and likeyou just want to scream, like you
know what you're doing, and he'sjust like he's like it's part of what

(47:23):
does he tell like the cage atthe end of the movie before he gets
on his fucking motorcycling services. Yes, yeah, he's like, you might
need my services. And also he'slike, I'm doing a constitutional right,
you know, I'm helping these peopleas I'm so proud of it, and
it's like you're a fucking monster.Well, and you know, Fantasyland,

(47:44):
the unrealism. There was two partsthat that have to do with with that
lawyer and and and those brothers.The first part is there's this massive,
massive attempted rape for defendant attempted rapeor rape an attempted murder trial that's going
to happen, and they have thepre trial hearing, they're about to start

(48:07):
jury selection, and the judge decidesthat the trial is going to start next
week. He wants to because hesaid, he said, Speedy is my
middle name. Yeah, and we'retalking, we're talking like four weeks from
when the event happened. If that, well, he's got a big galfhouting,

(48:28):
you know, getting the way ofhis golf. True. True,
that's true, But that I mean, we could we really have probably exhausted
the courtroom talk. But the otherabsolutely obscene thing that I thought was when
Cage shoots the two brothers and killsthem at Niagara Falls and they and then

(48:49):
kicks them in the water, andeverybody just takes it that they've run away.
They parked their car and they ranto Canada. Was there not like
any blood spatter at all. We'rejust saying Niagara Falls washed away. There's
nothing went into it, a beautifulnatural cleanser, there is no Yeah,
I mean, there was no evidenceat all. It's two these two people

(49:13):
on land and then kick that therewas ballistics because he walked on top of
the guy and shot him through thehead. So there's a case in the
ground. That's what I'm saying.It made me it was off camera he
picked up the individual blaze of grassthat had the blood on it and he
tossed those Oh yeah, exactly.I mean the one guy he shoots,
I'll buy this if I have tobuy it. The one guy he shoots

(49:36):
and on contact, the guy fallsbackwards into Niagara Falls, which, by
the way, Niagara Falls, bodyfalls in, body washes up on shore
somewhere. So that's one thing,no no, but they never found the
body. And the other thing is, like AJ said, he shoots the
other guy in the leg. Hegoes down and then he and then he
shoots him in the head. Imean, there's so much evidence around that

(50:00):
scene. Well here's my rebuttal tothat. And I think in the case
of Cage's character John, I thinkthat if you if you notice when he's
when he's performing his murders, becausehe's also a fucking murderer. Um,
he's so quick and he's so goodat aiming, right, it's instant headshot,

(50:22):
you're done, nie head, you'redone. It's all. He misses
nothing. He knows exactly what he'saiming. So and he and they very
quickly sprinkled in that he was apurple heart served in the military, so
actually threw that in there. Um. So I think he is a tactile
and an accurate, accurate precision youknow, yeah marksman. Right, he's

(50:45):
incredible at this. So he knowsexactly at that time of day, which
was a pitch black night, howto shoot these people where blood would not
show up. He knew the anglesin his head because it's your bang bang,
It's it's like writing a page.It might be right, and you
know, the first the first timehe kills one of the four. I
think this movie was amazing. Thefirst time he kills one of the guys.

(51:08):
Um, there's this whole thing setup with this weird ass argument over
like a UFC fight, and doyou guys have this weird random tension out
of Oh it's Casey Casey, Tina'sboyfriend or whatever he was to her.
Yeah, the guy from the party. Yeah, and he has a fight
with boy toy. Yeah. Butthen when he's walking out, walking out

(51:31):
to his car, the guy throwshim through the windshield or through the window
of the car. Yeah, howdid he do that? How strong is
this man? He's what it was? It was like the whole it's crazy.
But he doesn't dab and yeah unfortunately, and then he get shot between

(51:54):
the squarely between the eyes by Kay, it's who just happened to be there
and was in self defense? Ye, and no idea who it was.
Oh yeah. Cage is like whenwhen he's kind of half being interrogated by
the other cops, you know,and they're like, come on you you
you you killed your kids. Imean, you knew who this guy was.

(52:16):
No, there's an ongoing investigation now, I mean, here's here's the
thing. You're gonna get frustrated ifyou take this movie seriously. Nothing matches,
which none of the characters were reallike and and the timelines, like

(52:37):
you were saying, the timelines justdo not make sense. This is the
quickest crime ever. The night shegets raped and brutally murdered, Cage finds
her or finds the daughter, findsher, gets them to the hospital,
and then goes and finds all fourperpetrators based on this little girl's traumatized recollection,

(52:59):
which like if it's the same nightand this girl is like having a
meltdown after watching her mom get rapedto death, and the doctors and her
grandmas are like, you can't,you can't be in here right now,
like this girl needs some space,and he's just kind of like like quiet,

(53:21):
well, man, I need tomake my derrogation. And seeing the
little girl is by herself in thehospital waiting room, yeah, and then
in the next scene she's in theshe's in the police station. Later that
night, I d in these mofosand they bring them in and then everything
is just like crazily sped up,like you were saying, with the trial

(53:45):
and everything, it's just it.They spent the wrong amount of time focusing
on the wrong parts of the movies, and then they didn't leave time to
make like to coherent anything. Butbut what about what about when Cage went
to the hospital and he went togo talk to the daughter while she's watching

(54:07):
Looney Tunes, and and she slowlystarts to like curl up on him because
you know that she's the only person, He's the only person that she feels
like she can trust. And hejust goes, I like Daffy Duck.
It's like and then and then Iliked at the end of the movie when
they're between the fence and she Ilove you, And because the whole movie,

(54:29):
to myself, I was like,I'm waiting for her to call him
dad. Yeah, you know,we were almost there, we almost got
there. Oh that made me cringe. He's like almost as hard as anything
else, Like you, I wanther to be just like you. Yeah,
a trauma victim, traumatize. It'sso sad. Oh I'm sad.

(54:50):
She goes, we're moving to California, and he goes, it's sunny there.
I mean, I love he wasphoning it in. It's in one
of those he's just making a quickpaycheck. And and getting out movies,
but you hate to see. Yes, I don't really blame him on anything
with the movie because again he's barelyin it day, but he's also the

(55:14):
prime force of saving the day youwill and so so ridd only this.
Who was the love story between That'swhat I'm saying. I think it was.
I think it was between Cage andthe daughter. Yeah, Cage and
the girl. Okay, yeah,that's that's soon Fitzpatrick is going to be

(55:44):
you need to be very different.Maybe one day you'll need I love that
that lawyer just got on his fuckingmotorcycle and drove off. I want to
see the movie about his life,you know. I want to see him
versus like Jimmy McGill, you know, like that would be a fucking movie.

(56:05):
My man's wearing a four thousand dollarsin every shot we see him in
in this movie, and then herides off on a fucking hog. Yeah
yeah, it's it's he's he's justthe epitome of like, it's not really
my problem. I'm just doing myjob, you know, and she's you're
a filthy, filthy person. Um. Other than yeah, other than that,

(56:29):
this was like a pretty good movie. Yeah, you know, like
other we had the complaints out theway. I liked him. So,
by the way, before we jumpto another segment, can I just tease
real quick that at the end ofthe show, Hank will be opening a

(56:52):
very special gift. We have alittle something for the people that stuck around
for the Vengeance Love Story episode fourmonths after our last episode. We got
a little something. Yet, ifyou're still listening, which yeah, I'm
so sorry. Yeah what what ashame. That's more on you than us.
But anyone else have any other notes? Say, let's move to a

(57:14):
little segment. I like to callJames getting a trivia boom, No,
no trivia, but I just wantedto know maybe this film had a like
a ghoul. No ghouls, butit was full of goofs and gaffs.
And you don't say I will.I thought this is a Halloween film.

(57:38):
Most of these are boring, butmost of these also made me so mad
that someone would write them down there. There are those kinds of goofs and
gaffs this week, so I'll justsend you with a few. The first
one one cannot drive to the edgeof Niagara falls on either the Canadian or
the US side. No ship.You can't drive to the edge of Niagara
Falls. It just looks sick,So shut up. I agree entirely with

(58:04):
you. Yes, thank you.Not cool. Second, the police cars
have no unit ID numbers. Findthat one interesting is it's got to be
the same pussy that just watches allof niks movies and looks for police.
Yeah, we gotta find this userwet like we gotta have Maybe he said
that for every movie or she whoeverthis Yeah, wherever they are, I

(58:28):
would assume this is a man.This screams man all over it. They're
just watching movies to see if peoplelike accurately the crazy put yourself where your
you're you're just audience watching this movieand everything that this movie is. And
you see the police cars pull upand you immediately think those don't have identification

(58:52):
numbers. It takes you right outof the movie. That's what you're like,
that's where you're at. I mean, I hated the movie too,
Like, who gives the fuck not? Takes you right out of it all
right, next one, let meknow if this is interesting or not.
Early in the movie, about thefive minute marks, someone states that Nicolas
Cage's character had twenty years in thelocal police force. The movie is set

(59:14):
in New York State in your NiagaraFalls. Yet when he gives his card
to Bethy around the one hour mark, the area coach he recites for his
cell phone is seven h six,which is a Georgia area people can have
phone numbers. I'm in Los Angelesand it's not even a gas o.
Its fucking numbers and was wrong becausehe could have moved from Georgia. Jeez

(59:45):
man, Oh yeah, this isfunny. The glass that Tina drinks from
before smashing it at a bar.At the bar is clearly dirty and unwashed
as she holds it up to thelight. What did she drink? She
drank in it? Right, Well, that's fine, of course it's dirty
and unwashed. Who can't yea drinkfrom it? Talking about that's not even

(01:00:07):
a goof. That's just someone thatjust doesn't like dirty glasses. They're just
pointing it out. Everyone knows.We watched by a submitted by a hypochondriac
bartender that that was one of mymy more endearing parts was where she is

(01:00:29):
like looking at this glass very pensively, because you know, she's just kind
of come back into her head andremembers the fucking horror that she went through
thinking ignorantly blissful because of all thebrain trauma. Now she has to like
remember too, And the first thingshe does is hit her kid. It's

(01:00:52):
great, yes, just perpetuating thecycle. And then she goes to therapy
I mean a bar and Chu chugsthis glass of whiskey. Mike drops it
onto the bar and it just immediatelyshatters into a billion pieces, which it

(01:01:15):
was sick. Then she puts herhand into it. She dropped her hands
straight into the glass. Well,people didn't realize that bar was actually a
granite countertop, so right, itmakes sense. Yeah. So the final
one that I want to read youguys, is, in my opinion,

(01:01:37):
the most egregious goof or gaff thatI've seen written to date that we've read
out. So let me know whatyou think. I was seething when I
read this one. So in theend credits, there's a section called special
thanks, which is spelled spe IC A L thanks. Fuck you man,

(01:02:07):
fuck you, oh my god forwatching the credits exactly this movie.
No one gave a fuck making this, but obviously obviously that person didn't get
that. I I almost find thatinteresting. It's funny because because it says

(01:02:32):
special Speci special thanks special Michael.Hey, I gotta I gotta tech this
on I AMDB to let the worldknow that I saw this here. Here's
what I'm thinking about this, though, is that the person was like watching
this movie critically looking for goofs andgaffs, and it was like, here's

(01:02:58):
a bad movie. I'm going tofind something legendary and watches the whole movie
and and doesn't get anything. Andthen it's like, well, it's got
to be in the credits, andthen watches all the credits and he's like,
it's got to be after the credits. And after the credits there's a

(01:03:19):
TYPEO and he's like, yeah,I mean that would be you fork imagine
if he was edging until he gotto the type of the greatestas great But
like, you know, leave itto yourself, Like, that's not an
IMDb you know thing. I was. I was pissed off reading that,
But that's for the Could you imaginesomebody who would write that on IMDb wouldn't

(01:03:47):
find anything else in the whole movie. That's a big Yeah, that's their
big problems and was like, ohshit spake Eel thinks, Yeah, we're
gonna get them. I'm actually gonnadouble check that one because I want it
to be wrong. You're gonna pulla movie up and look at it.

(01:04:11):
Yeah. Yeah. It's one ofthose things for me as I get deeper
into my career as a filmmaker,seeing the kind of shit that people will
point out, like such minor,unimportant bullshit that like it's like you're not
even and fuck this movie, butlike you're not even paying attention to the
movie. You know, you're you'relooking for problems and something that's fake.

(01:04:33):
It's not real. This is real. Well, you know that's the thing
is people, it doesn't have tobe real. Did you see the courthouse
scene? Did you see the judge? And you know, usually I do.
I do appreciate the people that putin the time and effort to keep
filmmakers accountable with goofs and gaffs.Sure when there's definitely valid there's valid criticisms

(01:04:57):
out there, but yeah, gofuck off Fox specky out. Thanks watching
Succession after this, I'm excited.Oh um, Well, while you're looking
that up, we can switch overto a little segment I like to call
final thoughts in ratings. Aj.Uh, well let's start off with you,

(01:05:18):
pal, what's um? What whatare your final thoughts? And hey,
while you're at it, what wouldyou rate this film out of one
hundred? Cages? Oh, thankyou? It's my final thoughts? Uh

(01:05:40):
is that this movie is not real. It is two separate movies, and
neither of them are real. Uh. There's uh really offensive action movie and
there's a really annoying love story andI hated both of them. I loved

(01:06:02):
the scene where Cage's partner dies.Um, and that was about it.
It was the first three minutes.Pickens. Yeah, slim, but slim
Pickens. However, sorry, sorry, just real quick, real quick.
Aj I'm sorry. However, Ineed to just point this out here.

(01:06:24):
I'm still watching the credits looking forspeakl thanks and Weston. Cage did most
of the soundtrack for this movie.So Cage's goths son, Weston did most
of the soundtrack for this movie.And uh, brother, it sucked,
so sorry, sorry J Better nexttime, Weston. I couldn't hold that
in. You hate to hear it? Yeah, you couldn't wait until your

(01:06:45):
final thoughts. That wasn't my finalthoughts rated that was just that needed to
be said. However, however,yeah, I might watch it again.
Oh uh, it was. Itwas one of those I don't know,
it's like watching a train wreck andtrain wreck stars Bill had watching watching tragedy

(01:07:15):
head on, not only in themovie but in the making of the movie.
It just being like tragically terrible.I don't know, there's something,
there was a little something something.So I'm going to rate this twelve.
Okay, if you went higher thanthat, if you went higher than I

(01:07:39):
thought, you were gonna give itlike a fifty. Come on. Yeah,
I thought it was serious vengeance,a love story. Oh and you
know what, I'm still looking forthese credits, and I went back to
see if I missed anything in thecredits. I forgot about the very last
shot where Keige adjusts the rear viewmirror and then the other daughter are just

(01:08:00):
like perfectly in the mirror. Yeah, old on, he's a masterful again
accuracy, man, he's that hewell the well, here's the thing.
Here was the funny bit of itto me was that you're watching from the
shot, Cage keeps looking in therear view and oh he was looking at

(01:08:23):
her rear view and yeah, andthen the camera changes and the mother daughter
are standing there waving, and Cageis looking and acknowledges the fact that he
can see them in the rear viewmirror looking at him and waving, and
then he moves the rear view mirrorfor our benefit, so we could also
say goodbye to it. Didn't makeany sense write it down. You know,

(01:08:50):
let's go. It's time, youknow, the goofer becomes the goofy.
I might add, well, James, we got a twelve out of
one hundred cages from a j whostill wants to watch the movie again.
I watched know you've said you wantedto. It's not like it's not it's

(01:09:12):
a choice. It's not like I'mgonna like hide from this movie for the
rest of my life. If somekind of I'm saying it's possible, if
there's a scenario where this movie comesup, maybe I want to use it
to torture someone, but I haveto sit through it while they watch it,
you know, and tell them thatthis is a good movie. And
then just that sounds like a veryrepressive way of saying, you really just

(01:09:35):
want to watch it. I thinkyou're dying to watch it. Yeah,
I'm maybe, but only time willtell, all right, James, Yeah,
I've just watched the full credits.I didn't see a speak thanks,
So I don't know if that's sincebeen edited since Uh maybe they have.
They saw that and they found it, or or they just lied and figured

(01:09:57):
nobody would go double check out theyGeorge Lucas did. I did the the
editing. Um. Yeah, it'sweird because my score is really not that
far off from major. I justthought the way we were talking about it,
I thought our scores were gonna beway different. This movie. The
only thing I liked, and theonly reason I'm giving it points is I

(01:10:17):
liked the Cage kills, like theywere just cool kills. It gave me
some glint of if Cage were tobe in the next John Wick, which
hopeably there's not another one because thelast one was so good and perfect.
Worry I know, but man,it was the perfect none of the franchise
now it was. But anyway,if there are more Cage I think would

(01:10:39):
be great in them. But thismovie is terrible. It's offensive, it's
nonsensical, it's it's just bad.But it's not to the point of since
there were two and a half minutes, I would rewatch. If there was
ever like a YouTube compilation of thosetwo and a half minutes, I'd rewatch
that. So I'm gonna give ita leather for that reason. Und okay,

(01:11:04):
Uh Yeah. I hated hated thisfilm. Hated everything about it.
I hated watching it. I wasnot happy. It's been like three months
since we've done the show, andI was like, we're still in this.
Huh, I still doing this andlike Renfield just came out and there's
there's all kinds of other cage moviesI can't wait to see and talk about
down the line. Um, butwe got to get through Vengeance, a

(01:11:25):
love story, and I thought itwas offensive and garbage and I just hated
it. To rebuttal everything that AJfeels about this film, Um, it
was a serious film made by someonewho's terrible at it. And the difference
between using there's the obvious example,if you have the room where at it's
a joke now, but at thetime, serious guy trying to make a
serious movie. It's funny because hefailed spectacularly. This is the opposite it

(01:11:49):
well, a similar situation but oppositereaction. Serious guy made a serious movie
and it was just a miserable slogto get through this film on my beautiful
sunny Sunday. Um, fuck thismovie. I don't recommend it. It's
right they've rest umh and happy OrthodoxEaster everyone, Um you want. I

(01:12:13):
want to make sure that's pointed outin my final space. Thank you,
thank you. Um. But thatbeing said, fuck this movie. I
don't recommend it to adults or tochildren. Um. And that's it.
Oh two two out of one hundred, fuck this movie. And the two
is because Cage is in it.Yeah. I knew it was going to
be a big one for me becausethis is uh, this is the first

(01:12:35):
time ever you've ranked back to backmovies under in single digits. Well was
our last one, Arsenal Arsenal,you get you thought it was two times
better than this movie? Yeah?Oh yeah that was with John Cusack right,
and he was like the cup thatI don't think was real, like

(01:12:56):
actually there yea yeah. Um alsoa terrible film. Yeah, fuck this
film. Anyways, thanks for listening. We have a special surprise we'll pop
to We only got nine minutes leftin the zoom, so yes, However,
I want to say this hank.You gave it an you gave it

(01:13:16):
a two. Aj you gave ita twelve. I gave it eleven.
That puts it at an eight,which is our officially our fourth worst ranked
movie. The only ones that areworse are Christmas, Carol Left Behind and
Arsenal Wild. That's where it belongsto the bottom of the bottom of the
pie off. Oh and actually,yeah, while we're here, then,

(01:13:38):
James, real quick, what arewe watching on the next one? Yeah?
So next week. I'm actually kindof excited for this movie. It's
got Gina gershon Nicky Whale, andFade Dawn Away, Nicholas Cage. This
is inconceivable a movie I've I've neverheard of or watched. I'm excited for
it based on the poster alone.But a Mother it looks like a sexy
revenge thriller or something on those lines. And if we said anything about Cage

(01:14:01):
in the past, that's that heplays sexy very well. Um. But
this movie, a mother looks toescape her abuse of past by moving to
a new town, or she befriendsanother mother who grows suspicious of her.
I don't think I've I'm looking atit now. I don't think I've heard
of this one any never ever heardof this one? Jonathan Baker all right,
we'll see what happens there. Hischaracter's name is Brian, so that's

(01:14:25):
exciting. Yum. Yeah, weshould do a we should do a bit
where um, based on James's description, we forecast what we think we're going
to rate this movie and then seeings. It'll taint the ratings. Yeah.
Yeah, I wouldn't want to beright more than I would want to give

(01:14:47):
it a real rating. So thatis true. Okay, I guess we
should. What we could do iswe could forecast, we could write it
down. We could forecast what theother two people will give the movie.
Mmm, that might be interesting.Gonna try that for next week? Sure?
Is it? Is it secret?Yeah? It's secret? Okay,

(01:15:10):
Yeah, so we'll write down aheadof time. Well, I'm gonna write
it down. Yep. We're gonnawrite down right now what we think the
other two people will rate. Inconceivable. Got my ratings all set? Ah,

(01:15:31):
me too, got mine in Ididn't really to think about it.
Start one more zoom. Feel prettygood about this? Uh? Do you
think well? I think well,I think we can Yeah, we can
get it in we can get itin a long story short James was kind
enough to send A J and I. Here's our special segment called called gift
giving. Um it's important, andJames was kind enough to send a J

(01:15:53):
and I a gift and I've keptmine waiting until because we're also what I
questioned on the show. Yeah,and look he's not even here. He
fucking he turns camera off because heknows still go back when he's done,
and he's probably grabbing his and um, I just fucking opened it. He
got in, just opened it onhis own. And I've been I've I've

(01:16:15):
had this conspicuous box just sitting atmy desk for like three months. Now
it's just staring at me. Andnow I'm well, see it hasn't been
staring at me. I've been travelingthe world. I was gone for like
two months and then I came backto all this mail and it's not from
James. It's from some other dude. So I'm like, what is this?

(01:16:35):
And I'm opening all my packages Walla, possibly what kind of package you
get that are unexpected? Yeah?Months ago, I don't remember that.
Oh my god, all right,I'm opening Here we go okay, out
of sight, out of mind.This is exciting, all right. I

(01:16:56):
wish this was a video podcast,but that's okay. Oh it's got a
little how good So it's uh.If you've ever seen Eric Andres show,

(01:17:28):
there's a there's a bit where hegets a bunch of um little people and
he wears an octopus costume and eachof the legs is a different person.
That's this and Eric's in the middle. That's what this is, but with
Nicolas cage and at the end ofeach of the octopus's tentacles is another little
Nicolas cage. Ahead. It's anarticulated appears to be a three D printed
piece. Here, Um, thisis beautiful, thank you, it's a

(01:17:51):
kid, it's a It's listed asa cage to pus makes sense. I
bought it on I bought it onFacebook mark Place. I was hoping to
get one for all the boys theywere. They had two left. So
when it comes back in stock,I will be getting myself if if if
I can find the three D file, I'll print you one. And this

(01:18:13):
is this is This is a brilliantproduct of modern It has been sitting in
my goddamn time. I want toappreciate this, not just for like the
creative content of a cage octopus withcage octopus tentacles like this is, this

(01:18:38):
is foreseeably a one piece, likeright, this was this was manufactured by
a three D printer in additive layers. Oh yeah, and they have been
dragon that's just like this, butwithout Nicholas Cage on it. But like
there's there's making an additive piece andthen there's subtracting problem a piece. And

(01:19:02):
this is both because the tentacles arechains, they're interlocking, and there are
no scenes. It's articulated, it'sit's it might be the greatest piece of
modern art. Is fantastic, andit's a great bust of them. You
know that the head that they madeof Oh yeah, the hairs on it,
it's so good. I know.Go get your piece to Plus.

(01:19:30):
I don't know. I'm trying tofind who is from. I don't know
if you can see who you boughtit from on Facebook marketplace. If you
can, I'll shout him on nextnext show. Yeah, go go just
search cage to plus on facebot marketplace. I assume you'll find it. Cage
and I mean James in front ofour audience of tens of people. I
just want to say, thank you, You're lcome. This is fantastic.

(01:19:54):
I love it, good, good, and I can't wait to show it
off to all my friends. Andthat's the some vengeance a love story.
See you next week for Inconceivable.Hey God, that was fun watching you
open that live. I'm glad,I'm glad, thank you. This incredible

(01:20:15):
as you have both waited. Butright, what can I say? Glad?
Bye? God by I gotta Igotta sture too. I'll say here
when I already got, I alreadygot the screenshot. It was candid fight
well, I guess just for aj but it was kind of candid for
me because I was genuinely laughing.So I it's, oh my god,

(01:20:35):
and like when you set it downand it lays flat, all the little
heads like, yea, I amthe octopus. I am the octopus.