December 20, 2023 • 58 mins
WOOOP WOOOP! THAT'S THE SOUND OF THE ...police? It is! Nic Cage stars as a cop in this one, which NEVER happens! Turn on your radios, grab your badges and rob a bank that has very little money in a small town because it's 211 time! 2-1-1! 2-1-1! 2-1-1!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:04):
Hello, mess, I'm a lieutenantin the police department. I'm in the
middle of a homicide investigation. TryI get my prescription please. The whole
time is standing there with this whomme expression on your face? Have you
ever been dragging to the sidewalk?I'm being till you best blood. No
(00:26):
man has spilt more blood in God'sname than I. How in the name
of Zeus's buttle did you get outof yourself? What you really think?
I let myself get killed in agarbage truck? Ha well, I hit
in a soup, can roll itall the way to the city dump because
(00:46):
I was made for this super babyand I have the care. Oh it's
like it's like it's like a showerfor the soul. I wish I could
say that was nice. I wishI could say, oh, that sounded
(01:07):
nice. It did. I'm terrible. I love that. It's awful.
It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. It's a freight mayre. It's a
nightmare. What's five minus what's fivehundred minus seven hundred eleven? It's two
eleven? Is the film is notcorrect? Negative to eleven? Don't think
(01:32):
so? Pal whoa whoa? Toeleven. Naturally. You see remember when
I when I drove for like thirtyhours straight from Los Angeles to Fort Worth
and saw them with you in theGuy. Yeah, I do remember that.
(01:53):
So sweaty, that dude, itwas so sweaty. It was also
one hundred and five degrees hanka drivenstraight through from LA to Fort Worth.
We saw some Modice, Yahoo andeleven. I don't even know why we
were at the show was the firstSublime, I couldn't tell you. I
think we were there for Sublime withRome, but also I was like three
(02:15):
eleven, Hell yeah, I meanthat's cool with that too, and then
Matus Yahoo was just like that's justfunny, So yes it was. And
then I remember after that getting homebecause it was moving into senior year in
my apartment which had no furniture yet, and I remember just crawling into what
would be my bedroom and just leapingon the carpet. Uh, And it
(02:36):
was great. Drove all the wayback to LA after the concert. Well,
I was interning in Los Angeles,and then stopped in Fort Worth,
which we already had the apartment readyto go, which hadn't really moved in
yet, but Adam had already gottenit, and then Adam and I drove
to Lafayette, Louisiana to get thefurniture, which we then turned around and
drove back to get it all ifI remember night the ship right there.
(03:00):
Yeah, it was a great time. Complicated legistics. Do you want to
introduce us? No? Instead,I'd rather discuss this thrilling cinematic masterpiece to
eleven. Uh And in order todiscuss that, I'll call upon my friends
James Crang that's me and A J. P. And I'm doctor physiology.
(03:24):
So welcome to the Wickerman. Todaywe've watched to eleven two hundred and eleven
YEP, eleven in progress. Wegot eleven? Yeah, yeah it was.
It was released June eighth, twentyeighteen, directed by York Alex Shackleton,
(03:44):
unrelated to York Alex Shackleton. Lookit up George Shackleton. Yeah,
that's sick. John Rebis wrote it. Yeah, it's all there. Those
are two great names. It's whichis funny because the movie wasn't unfortunate,
(04:04):
but he did cush as well.Yeah, weirdly the guy who John Reebis.
This was the only movie he everwrote. How strange. You don't
want to give it another go huhafter this one? You hate to hear
it. This, of course,stars our boy Nicholas Cage as Officer Mike
(04:28):
Chandler. You got Sophie Skelton asLisa McAvoy, Dwayne Cameron and Steve McAvoy,
Michael Rainey Junior as Kenny Resky,James McAvoy as Charles Xavier, and
Nicholas Cage's son, Weston Cage.I'm not going to name any of the
(04:51):
other people, but Weston Cage wasone of the bad guys as a character
named Luke. So yeah to eleventwo one one. Uh, it's a
based on a real story about someyou know, about the cops. That's
what the description say. Is itsays it's based on a real story.
(05:15):
Yeah, apparently this is something likesimilar happening. I mean it's I mean,
I would have imagined that people robbeda bank and police. Yeah,
I mean, you know, it'sbased on a true story, many true
stories actually since the beginning of time. But yeah, he uh, you
know, he gets a he andhis partner get a ride along. It's
just some teenage kid who did nothingwrong and gets beaten up by bullies.
(05:38):
But then they make the kid goon the ride along and at the same
time a bunch of bank robbers arerobbing a bank and they get caught up
in the middle of it. It'san hour and twenty six minutes and for
that I give this a one hundredout of one hundred. Thank you very
much. Great show. So sothis movie was an hour and twenty six
minutes. I would say at leastan hour and three minute of it was
(06:00):
people shooting at each other and missinga lot. There was just extended scenes
of people just shooting at each otherand not hitting each other, and very
loudly. It's like it's like wheneverything else would go off, it's like
everything was cranked up even more.Yeah, and I'm not talking crank too
high voltage, you know, likethis was the bad kind of crank.
So I don't know, damns,let me let me bust your bubble.
(06:26):
That shooting didn't happen before the hourmarch, so it may have felt like
an hour, but that was likefifteen minutes. No, actually, because
there was there was shooting scattered throughoutthe movie. It opens with a scattered
there were like there were action scenesand then the rest of the movie like
yeah, I mean, that's true. So let me set the scene for
(06:48):
how I watched this movie, becauseI watched it in the worst possible way.
I was on a flight and therewas nothing else I could do because
I was watching this on my phone, so I couldn't even like guard my
mind, like I couldn't distract myselffrom the fact that I was watching this
movie. It was I hated thismovie. There was no laundry to distress.
(07:12):
There was this movie sucked nowhere tobe Uh yeah, a jan what
did you think about Right from theget go? This was steaming hot trash
baby. Yeah, finally we allagree on a Yeah movie. I loved
it. I thought it was thegreatest. Shut up, it's a movie.
(07:33):
Yeah all time. You know,this movie opens up in Afghanistan,
right, and it's al Aghanistan onthis lady's fingers and she's typing. They
were just around a bunch of rocks. She's not even typing, she's just
going like this over hacker and there'slike generic random like ms dos code on
(07:59):
the commune here and then like menacingguy behind her, like look at all
the money that we're so around theworld. Is the transfer done? Yes,
it's complete great, we can gohome now. Is everything taken care
of? Yes? Did you sendthat email to of course? Like it's
(08:24):
about Yeah, I was gonna clipsome of it and I couldn't be bothered.
I was like a jail, ajail reenacted on the pod. It's
not worth yeah, it's not.Sorry. John reapis in York, you
know. I mean it was soflat, you know, and and and
(08:45):
unfortunately, like I will say,if I do give any credit to the
movie, some of the action scenesI liked, and I thought, like,
the mercenary guys are actually pretty cool. But they didn't say anything.
They just shot people, you know, and did their thing. Anyone that
talked sucked. They had nothing goodto work with. So I want to
push back on you a little bitbecause I thought the mercenaries were cool.
In the first scene, I thoughtwe were getting a movie about some international
(09:11):
mercenaries that we're gonna commit these likeheinous crime robberies whatever, and there was
gonna be this Interpol agent and thenthere was gonna be cage. Instead,
what we got was these mercenaries whocould have got all the money they wanted
wired to them, that said we'lldo it the hard way. And just
robbed a small town bank like itdidn't and they go to bump fuck nowhere
(09:37):
America, Chesterfield does It makes nosense because the guy goes, oh,
you know one of the places wetransferred it was Chesterfield. And they go
and it's like they just needed thename of a bank. It's like they
didn't know one bank. They literallysaid, word for word, name one
US bank. I guess bank.It's all right, that's where we're going,
(10:01):
and that this money is in Switzerland, it's in Iraq, it's stare
in Afghanistan, it's in London,it's in America. So yeah, they
go to Chesterfield, Missouri wherever thefuck. It is awful if you look
at like the transfers at the beginning, because I had to rewatch this because
I fell asleep, right so Istart rewatching the movie and then I ended
(10:24):
up skipping skipping a bunch, butthat opening scene hilarious. I actually,
like I loved some of this moviejust because of how bad it was.
And then like that opening scene thebank transfers, they're all like thousands of
dollars, so like a couple thousanddollars of this guy's money is in this
(10:45):
bank, that's the thing we're goingto go because it's supposed to be like
nine million dollars but spread across theglobe, and it's like we've kind of
said it, but it's a smalltown bank, so it's not they're not
going to have a lot anyways.So they're going to rob They're going from
Afghanistan to Massachusetts for two hundred thousanddollars apiece. Yeah, it probably cost
(11:07):
us much just to get all thefucking gear they have and fly over there.
You know. It's the guy thatthey shot. He was just like,
I'll get you guys the money.You know, let's let's do it
the easy way. And then theguy's line is like, Nord, you
want to do it the hard wayand then shoots them. I'm like,
why kill him? Later? Seeif he would you say a j They
(11:31):
rented on what unit like a likea storage unity. They showed them in
their hideout at some point, whichI thought it was like their stash spot
in the US where they're going togear up and then go do the hest
right, you would think that whatevertheir spot is is going to be I
don't know, maybe near a majorcity, DC, New York, whatever,
(11:56):
because like the place was pimped out. It looked like, you know,
well, they especially already have alot of money based off just what
they all have. I mean,they got to have some stash, they
do because they can't. There wasa library said that's more than we made
in the army, and it's like, what was this like a shot at
the armed forces or something. They'reclearly not like, yeah, they're clearly
(12:20):
not part of the military anymore.They've all gone rogue. And of course
you don't. You don't make moneyin the army, you know, so
you make the money by being mercenarieslike this, I assume. But yeah,
you guys are seeking out over amillion dollars. Ways, yeah,
it's really good. Way five ways. There's a whole crom there's four robbers
(12:41):
and a driver. It's it's andthey got to pay for them a back
home. You know, they gottapay for the bills. And you know
what the worst part about that wholething is is it's not the worst storyline
in the movie. There's the fuckingand then there's the guy, the son
(13:05):
Cage's son in law who gets shoton the leg and basically immediately gives up
on life. That's he's dead immediately. It's nothing you can do. You
know, shot the leg, You'redone, it's all over. Is the
second most important. There's the guywho on his anniversary went to his work
and then hated his wife so muchthat he asked the robbers to kill him.
(13:30):
Basically, that was that was bizarre. He stands at the bank teller,
he stands up or manager, andhe goes, if you're gonna shoot
me, then shoot me. Theguy's like, all right, all right
off, and then the guy justgives everyone else food like there was no
The guy who got shot escalated theentire situation. Yeah. Yeah, I
(13:54):
agree with something you said earlier,like there were moments throughout the movie that
I like more. Some of theaction stuff I liked, but as a
whole, it was just so Ikept laughing at the journalists because they kept
cutting to the news and the headlinewas bank robbery, bank robbery, just
bankrobbery. So I do this fora living, and I tried to take
(14:16):
a screenshot, but Hulu doesn't letyou screenshot. I make lower thirds for
the news for a living. Iwas personally offended by this. It just
it didn't say where you know,what happened exclusion It was breaking news,
like Hank said up top, andthen bank robbery. It was like a
(14:37):
blaseholder. It's unbelievable. That wasThat was one of my notes. Uh.
My only other note was that WestonCage whenever they whenever they go and
actually start robbing the bank, theyhave giron. He looks like the Winter
Soldier. Yeah it does. Yeah, it looks like a chubby or Winter
Soldier. Yeah, that's I alsowent he had off camera lines. He
(15:03):
sounded a lot like Nick Cage,like there was a couple of moments where
I could use the jeans, youknow, yeah, you could tell.
I also thought no one was Idon't think they filmed the last act of
this movie with anyone in the sameroom. I think everyone was in different
areas, because, like Cage goesback to visit his family. Oh yeah,
it's like one shot of him walkinginto the room, He's like,
(15:24):
wow, everyone's here, and thenit cuts to like people in different parts
of the room, and then aseparate cut to the kid standing there in
a different room, and then backto Cage, and they never interact with
each other. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about the last scene.
Now, this is a movie thatpotentially fewer than three thousand people I've seen,
even though Cage is in it,because I had never even heard of
(15:46):
this movie and in life for somereason. But I have six notes in
this movie. Hm. My firstnote was the breaking the the bank robbery,
breaking newsling. I have a noteto clip audio, didn't clip it?
And then I have two notes aboutthis final scene. What my first
(16:10):
note was, why was the dadwho gave up on life immediately Cage's son
in law? Why was he justpetting his daughter's head as if it was
a dog. It was as ifthe wife was originally supposed to be holding
a dog, and he's just pettingthe little girl's head. And it's one
of the weirder things I think I'veever seen someone do in a movie.
(16:30):
That was my first note. Mysecond note was was this movie a comedy?
Because the last scene of the thelast line of the movie is Cage
going, Hey, Kenny, where'sthat phone you're always screwing around with?
I know, line photos or whatever. Right, He's like, I gotta
(16:53):
take some fresh picks. Yeah,Like, yeah, I gotta take some
fresh picks. Was this like abuddy cop movie, James, I hate
to break it to you, butI'm looking it up on box office Mojo
because I had to see some numbershere and under the genres it says action,
drama and thriller. Okay. Iwas thrilled the whole time. It
(17:15):
also did not make his money.This movie was not made by human beings.
Okay. This movie was made bycreatures tending to be human beings and
trying to emulate like human culture.And this is what people. It was
like it was written with ai.It doesn't make sense. This is what
(17:37):
this is. Isn't what the writersare terrified of. That's it. It's
like, actually, chadipts would probablybe more interesting, so much better.
You would have more detail, youknow. Let's James, let's let's go
into the video line, right,because like for that to be the pullback,
(18:02):
you know it. There was thisweird theme of this kid videotaping on
his phone throughout the movie, right, which, which, by the way,
how are we introduced to that Awhat's the first scene we see him
filming? The first scene we seehim filming is him in the bathroom recording
(18:22):
himself in the mirror, talking abouthow he's not gonna let himself get beat
up today and what happens immediately afterthat because shoving his face in the toilet
and also videotaping it, and todayever consult the videotape to see that this
(18:45):
kid is innocent and was being recordedgetting bullied. No, but no,
but the principal saw him punch theguy. So that's it. Clearly,
police ride along, I guess,right, yeah, yeah it was.
(19:06):
But by the way that that youknow, that kid, what's his name,
I'm trying to pull Kevin or Kennyplayed by Michael rainey Man. He
just looked bored the whole time,like he was in real life, I
know. And I'm like, dude, you're in a you're in a car
with Nick Gage right now, Likeat least show something. He's got nothing,
(19:27):
you know, he's And then likethere's I wish I had a screenshot
of this too. There's a momentit's whenever the partner cop gets shot and
he thinks that he's dying, andthere's like a moment where he's just like
he's like, can you someone playshelp me? And Kenny's next to me,
just like he looks so so boredand so the gunfire, everyone police
(19:48):
officers dying around in him and hejust like sitting around. Well, there's
also a moment in that same timewhere he gets shot where the looks at
Kenny it goes, let me justtell you something, kid, and then
just pulls his head into his chest. It doesn't say another word, and
it just sits on that job.After he forces him to film his goodbye
(20:11):
video first, I like the firstthing that you know, it's assuming he
dies. He has he did justglitch hardcore there. I've been practicing my
Internet way. It's just a littletactic I've been working on. So if
it happens again, you know,don't worry about it. I'm going through
(20:32):
timelines here. So yeah, thekid he's got, well, I want
to get clear. Is the SonyExperia. You know, if you didn't
catch that at any point, itwas a Sony Experience phone, great quality
camera. I swear that they onlyhad his phone die so they could show
Sony pop up on the screen.The only reason that that that it happened,
but it had enough battery to getthrough the last video, which shows
(20:55):
how strong of a performing battery thatis. Point overall, but he's filming
the officer who's just like to mywife, I love you and you baby.
We knew that one day the promiseof me coming home would have to
be broken, and this is thatday. It's like all the cliches you
hear from like cor stuff. Andthen he goes and to my to my
kid life stuff. You know,sorry, so I'm he goes, I'm
(21:22):
your dad life stuff. I'm sorry, I'm your dad. Be so scarred
after seeing this video. It's awful. The rest of the movies is nothing.
A Cage says like ten words inthe movie. Uh, he's boring.
He's boring. He's just getting apaycheck, you know that. He
(21:42):
he. I wasn't crazy about himin this one. Let's let's talk about
Western Cage and his lines. Okay, I feel like I don't recall him
having more than just one liners,things like yeah, yeah, no,
(22:03):
and the majority of his lines areoff screen, like as if they went
back and Cage was like, myson doesn't have enough lines, and a
few more lines because they're so they'reone liners that nobody responds to them,
and they're again. I think hewas formed entirely filmed in a separate room
(22:26):
from how he must have been,which is bizarre. My my favorite part
is, uh, when they getto the bank, right, so they're
gonna rob this random ass bank fora million dollars and uh, like the
dialogue is just so you got thebags of got the bags? So then
(22:48):
they you know, start by shootingsomeone immediately and then everyone gets down and
then like they open the vault andWeston goes back into the vault and he
starts packing up the money and theother guy is like, you got this,
and he's like, what I do? And it starts like pulling up
the money bags right then Q thewhole climax of the movie, right,
(23:15):
this whole shootout scene and more copscome. There's a shootout and then the
swat team gets called and then theymore the hostages and like the whole crux
of the movie is going on whilethis guy's packing up the cash, dude,
and he had taking one minute.Have you mentioned that they gave him
one minute to pack up the cashout of their five minute plans, which
(23:38):
which aj how many stacks of cashwere there because it was a million dollars
right there was what ten stacks ofcash? There was a lot of cash,
but still No, there was alot of cash. I'm just saying
the way it was bundled, itwas not there was not many to transfer
to event, right, like maybemore than your hands. You one is
(24:04):
undoing the plastic wrap around the cashand taking it out bill by bill,
That's what I'm saying. And itwas only five dollar bills. And that's
so it wasn't even and and thatruins their entire plan. Right, So
these guys were introduced to them atthe beginning as these really savvy sharpshooters really
(24:26):
got their ship together. They're supposedto in five minutes. Yeah, yeah,
like you said, like I wasexpecting that kind of a movie.
Like even if the dialogue's bad,right, even if like the love story
is stupid, the action scenes,you want to see these badass dudes doing
badass things and the you know,the big the big thing in the movie
(24:49):
is them royally fucking up like astandard bank robbery, and like the Interpol
ladies, like, you know,you can't underestimate these guys. They're they
use your attack for their escape andlike, yo, they didn't even try
to escape. They just they're justshooting people. And then they say there's
(25:11):
a whole other plot line that haslike two scenes of this lady who starts
in Cabal I think, or Indiaor some ship, and she has a
priceless relic which I wanted to seethat story. I want to sahere she
got that from. And she meetsup with a fucking India Jones scenario situation
(25:32):
old man that's that's buying it,and she's literally in the middle of going
make this sale because she's actually tryingto arrest this smuggler. Uh, and
then just the police, the FBIor some ship the military shows up and
they take her away and she's like, ugh, I was just in the
middle of of taking down the biggestart and smuggler in all of Cabal,
(25:52):
and they're like, I swear there'sa big robbery in Chesterville, New York.
Oh, I swear they cut outso much time of this movie and
it all had to do with herand it had to do with the mercenaries,
and they were like, nah,it's it's fine. Next time.
Budget like an hour into the hourand twenty minute movie where she shows up
(26:17):
in the in the in the hostor whatever the fucking bank situation, and
she goes up to the cop incharge and she says, I'm with Inner
pol and I need to talk toyou about these guys. And the chief
goes, oh no, and thenshe goes, no, you don't get
it. I have photos of them, and he goes, wait what,
And then she's in and still doesn'tdo anything. They just to their lair
(26:41):
that was just sitting there wide open, and there was this thing of C
four, Like yeah. She goesto that that that gun shop at one
point and she and this is onthe gun shop owner. She goes,
hey, do you know this man? And then he goes, I don't
know him, and then she pointedthe picture of the man and them together
behind him and he goes, shoot. That was great that. The other
(27:04):
part I loved about the C fourwas that she shows up with this what
was it like, the packaging fromthe C four and she's like, there
was C four in there and theguy takes it and he goes, that's
C four. No, that's blastingthat good good point and that the four
(27:26):
blew up that restaurant. So it'shappened like an hour ago in the movie
time and again, the amount ofpeople that these guys have killed just for
this million dollar bank hest what's lifework? You know, it's fucking crazy.
But yeah, what I gandered fromthese guys objective is that like they've
(27:47):
seen they've seen the gnarliest combat inthe world and live without it, right,
So there they want to do somethingto get the SWAT team called on
them so that they could showcase theirskills and have like a decent opponent to
fight. Otherwise they're just wasting peoplelike their MPCs. But I don't think.
(28:08):
But but their whole thing was theywanted to be in and out and
find that you like, I think, But they couldn't pack up the money
fast enough. I know, ButI don't think they were like trying to
get SWAT called on them. Ithink they wait what, No, They're
(28:29):
definitely not trying to get SWAT calledin. They had a good plan,
they just fucked up and went slowwith They fucked up by going slow getting
the money itself, and then byjust so happened that Cage and his partner
with the ride along were across thestreet noticed something went wrong and got involved
too soon because the actual police andall that they didn't show up at least
according to a Cage like until anhour, like after the events that went
(28:51):
down. Oh yeah, why wouldthey want the police there? They're trying
to get No, I think becauselike at a certain point, right,
it's okay too long the times,I know, I just I'm waiting,
(29:11):
mostly because I had in and outfor lunch today. No, kind of
like those Indians. They they're likea dilly dally and with the with the
fucking jim jab and like can weput that quote on the box, goes
(29:37):
back into the vault and he's andlike, after all this time, he's
finally packed up the money and he'slike, hey, forget that. You
know it. You know, thebig guns are coming, and Weston's line
is and then he hops up inhis in his sniper rifle and starts getting
his rocks off like might be people, which he's really really good at,
(30:03):
unless it's at Cage or the kid. Yes, father, he's got Cage
in the sights, dead scoped.Cage has his head like in the trunk
of the police car, trying toget the med kit and he doesn't move
and somehow the sniper just misses himtwice. And yeah, but they show
(30:26):
us the scope right on Cage's head. Yeah, but it's the wind,
the wind factor. So my othernote go off here for a second.
But this was the most infuriating scenein a movie. I could think of
it a long, long, longtime. So let me get this out
(30:48):
after. Is his name, Mikeis the son in law? Is his
name Mike, Steve, Steve,Steve mckimoy. That's right, Mike Chan
There is his cage. So Stevegets shot. They finally get him to
the ambulance. I mean, it'sbeen like an hour and Steve gave up
(31:08):
on life. Thirty seconds in theygot him to the ambulance like that,
he's coding. They're like they youknow whatever. Rush into the hospital.
His wife runs in to the er, sees him in surgery and pushes the
doctors aside to say I'm here,Steve, I'm here, and puts her
(31:32):
head down on his chest, andthe doctors are like, please get out
of the way. We're trying tosave her husband. She's like, don't
worry about it, no, I'mhis wife. Yeah. They're like,
fuck out of the way. Okay. So then as if that's not bad
enough, they wheel in the othercop, the lady cop who got shot,
(31:52):
who's bleeding out and the wife islike, what happened, Yeah,
the chest and the lady's like itwas bank robbery. There's a ride along.
So the nurse whose son Kenny wason this ride along, is with
(32:15):
this patient who's bleeding out and definitelygonna die, and as she's dying starts
freaking out about her son. Herson calls well. The wife picks up
the phone, puts it up tothe nurse's ear, and she has like
a five minute conversation with her sonwhile her patient just dies in front of
her. That was infuriating she andshe can't pick it up because she's at
(32:38):
the gloves because assumingly she's performing surgery. Surgery she did, that's my son's
ringtone, and the lady is likegurgling blood underneath and she's like, all
right, son, b shade,I'm I'm so proud of you. Sure
(32:59):
you don't love? Of course,for an hour the situation which, by
the way, a j how doeshe call his mom? This kid is
freaking steiye mcgiver and takes him likeokay, So it's rated from from the
(33:22):
policeman that he's on the ride alongwith, right, and they go to
the ambulance to save the guy who'sa coward, and he just jumps into
a jeep right shot. He isI agree, is that guy with dying
like little bitch has some dignity?God dammit, I got I'm so cold.
(33:47):
I'm cold. So he lays downin the back of this suv.
And I really thought I saw thisstuffed animal like I'm alive and like reach
out above him, and it lookedlike something out of Chucky or something,
And I was like, what thefuck is up with that stuffed animal?
(34:09):
And then like it cuts back tohim like ten minutes later, and he
takes a part, takes the stuffedanimal battery out and like splices the charging
cable to his phone charger and rigsthat ship up. Yeah, I think
enough the cigarette lighter, didn't hehe took the cigarette? What did he
(34:34):
do? Whatever? He took acigarette lighter. I never should have worked
with the power of Sony experien youcan charge with anything. No. I
think you're right, James. Ithink if it was, it's a blur
to me. And I watched histhree hours ago. He like reaches in
and grabs a cigarette lighter. Hegrabs the stuffed animal thing pulls the battery
(34:55):
out of it and it just touchesthem together and he sort of his bone.
Yeah, he went to be fairgets bullied. Yeah, fucking hurd.
I couldn't believe when whenever, becauselike, that's that happens they get
(35:15):
split up, because that's when they'rerunning off to save detective dumb dumb and
and that's when the lady cop getsshot. Right, No one stopped.
She gets shot. She's laying out, bleeding on the sidewalk. They go,
they put detective cop guy down.They're all kind of standing around,
and one of the other cops goes, oh, I'm gonna go grab Jessica.
(35:37):
Yeah, and then it runs backand just drags along. No one
else helps him, and it lookslike shot in the spine. Yeah,
she's never gonna walk again, draggingher and then the mom's screaming at her,
and it's just insane. Uh,James, did you like I was?
(36:00):
I was waiting to see if youwere gonna call this line out,
and I wanted to bring it upjust in case, because because I thought
it was a line that you probablyloved whenever. It's earlier in the movie,
you know, So we find outthe beginning of the film that detective
dumb Dumb his wife is pregnant.Now they're gonna have a baby. They're
so excited. They go into thecar they're riding along and and by the
(36:23):
way, that Ice Cube movie wasway better than this movie. But that's
that's that's a different episode for Butanyways, so he tells Cage and he's
like in Cage is, of coursehis father in law. And he's like,
hey, so Monica or whatever dameis is, is you know we're
gonna have a baby. And Cagegoes, huh that's good. Oh,
(36:45):
congratulations, right, and that's allyou get. And then they get out
of the car and when they getback to the station, they meet it
with other cops and then he startsslapping his son in law on the back
and goes, he got my hegot my daughter pregnant. I'm like,
the line that I liked was whenthe cop goes the other cop goes,
he's like, I'm just glad itwasn't you. Oh yeah, this could
(37:09):
have been worse. It could havebeen you. And the guy's like why
because I'm black. He's like,yeah, yeah, it was. It
was so bad. I mean thismovie. And when I say this,
I want to be clear. Ididn't think it was good, but the
good parts being the action parts.Relative to this film, it always was
(37:31):
just enough where I'd be like,Okay, all right, I'm watching,
and then when they go back tonon action talking dialogue, whatever, it
just it just takes all them.There's something about this movie that's so infuriatingly
bad that it's a little bit lessinfuriatingly bad than some of the other ones
we've watched. Yeah, and that'sthat makes sense. And I think part
(37:53):
of it is when the writing isso terrible, but you have someone that
can at least competently direct some someactiony scenes, it's like, oh,
well, I guess the script probablyjust says they rob a bank so we
can film that. It's no talking, it's just it's just doing the action
in the color. So I wasgonna let the slide. But you've said
(38:13):
it about eight times now. Yeah, you thought the action scenes were good
in this movie relative to the scaleof this movie. It's the better parts
of the movie. Man. Ithought the action seeds were arguably more boring
than I don't think the only timeI paid attention, probably because I heard
gunshots fucking screaming at me from acrossmy apartment. But it just I mean,
(38:35):
maybe it was like realistic, whichis it just felt like we would
watch one side send a bunch ofshots and miss, and then the other
side would volley a bunch of shotsand miss. Yeah, but that's way
more than anything they say when thesepeople talk. I mean, yeah,
I guess that's true. It wasmore visual. It was probably realistic,
(38:58):
realistic. I think all these peopleare terrible, and I don't know how
they would be these perfect military youknow, rogues with their level of gunfire.
I guess I meant from the copsside of things. Oh yeah,
well, that's that's like stormtroopers.I mean they shoot everywhere and and misplaying.
I just me I liked I likethe stuff with the military guys as
(39:20):
far as the movie goes. Butagain, that's on the that's that's on
the what I'm gonna call it,uh, what's his name? Uh the
York Shackleton Curve. Okay, wherethat's the that's the best we got.
Yeah, you're right. And thenon the rebis Curve curve. I think
the line about the black cop wasprobably yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(39:43):
mostly the part that Gis goes noyeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I hate I hate to call moviesbad, but this one sucked.
It was yeah, just not ohman, and it made me actually think,
Wow, I preferred Looking Glass overthis, you know, like,
(40:05):
yeah, at least, at leastI had some fun acting. And there
was a character story with Cage,Like Cage isn't even in the I mean,
he's in the movie, but hejust he's just like a wall,
Like there's just nothing to go offwith them. He barely talks. It's
just like, why, why,why did they even bother getting him for
this movie. He clearly wasn't jazzedabout it, which I don't know.
I don't know, but yet hedoes yell they get again, they got
(40:30):
one, they got one? Yell. I mean I hated it. Yeah,
I'm pretty tapped on that. Yeah, we had a pretty strong forty
minutes there, and it's pretty It'spretty good York Alex Shackleton. Maybe the
(40:51):
next one, will you will youask me about the segment because it just
ties in perfectly, But I don'twant to jump into the segment without you
asking. Oh, sure, ofcourse, I would like to know.
James few if we have any sortof I don't know, goofs or gaffs
or maybe some gules, no ghules. Very few goops or gas, which
(41:15):
I felt like the goops are gas. There was actually a lot of them,
but they were all just like thismovie, so boring that I really
even want to say them on thepodcast. They're so freaking bad. I
can't believe people even wrote them out. Give us one, but there are
two here. Yeah, the bestone I think is in the trivia,
not even in the goose of gas. But I'll give you the first miscellaneous
(41:38):
one here. When Mike and Steveare in the car about twenty two minutes
in and right after he says youshould really call your daughter, the car's
gear shift is clearly in the parkposition five. Helpful. One not helpful.
I'm just and I know it's likeit's just like a like or dislike
(42:00):
system. But how how could somethinglike that be deemed helpful? I know
that it just makes no sense.It doesn't there's nothing about that that helps
in your understanding of this movie.Like, fuck it. Yeah that was
(42:21):
helpful. Yeah, I feel likeI feel like now I know how cars
work because they are I always hadthe park on and it doesn't go what
do you do? What's the dealwith? Okay, what's the so that
this is the this is the triviaone is uh And to be clear,
(42:42):
I would like to call that onenot helpful. Well, there is actually
some good trivia here. Nicholas Cagedescribed the movie as disappointing. Nicholas Cage
said he didn't like the final cut. Damn. But then here eighteen people
found this helpful. Four found itnot helpful. If you see the ending
(43:07):
credits, almost at the end ofthe cast section, the word vice principle
is spelled incorrectly? Is it?Is it principal instead of principal? I
think it's an instead of a like. I like the assumption in the beginning
going and you make it to thefucking credits of this movie. Yeah,
(43:28):
people, eighteen people found that helpful. Now, maybe this was like a
like, But how did eighteen peoplelike that? How is that possible?
That was written by like a reallydisgruntled, like middle school English teacher like
error, because it's infuriated. Thatwas written by teacher that walked into the
(43:53):
bathroom and saw the kid punching theguy. That's yeah, And then all
the all the staff liked it onIMDb because he asked him to like his
Internet comment, so they did.There you go. I think he nailed
it. Yeah, yeah, anyany other interesting Uh nah, that's it.
(44:14):
Here you go, Actually, hereyou go. Here's some interesting trivia.
Sorry a J. I hope thisdoesn't steal from you that I had
interesting trivia first. So yeah,but I wasn't done with my segment,
so let me finish my Is itabout this? Is it about zip codes?
If it's about zip codes, Iwon't say it it's not. Okay,
(44:35):
Well, let me knock your socksoff with this one. Zero people
found this helpful. Zero people foundit unhelpful. Chester Ford's ZIP code is
zero two four or five two,placing it in Middlesex County, Massachusetts.
Actually, I'm gonna say helpful becauseearlier in the pod, I was trying
to figure out where it was.Okay, there you go, so you're
(45:00):
well maybe missus Missouri or Mississippi oryou're welcome. There we go, boom,
helpful. These are these are trash, just like the movie I found
his helpful right, was just onon Amazon Prime. It was included in
(45:23):
Prime. Why, I don't knowbut I watched it on I watched it
on Hulu, but it is onboth. Yeah, I saw like a
little trivia facts pop up on screenthat said Nicholas Cage broke his leg during
the filming of this movie when likeBulgaria or something. And I'm like,
(45:50):
what is that when they filmed?Are you sure that was this movie?
When was he in Bulgaria? Hewasn't in any of those scenes. No,
it was just with his son.But they might have filmed all this
stuff over there anyways. I mean, man, talk about that reminds me
talk about the sets of this movie. I mean it just looked like Hollywood
(46:10):
Street Us, Like it looked likethe fucking back lad when I worked at
Paramount. But without Yeah, ittotally did you know, Like it was
just the flat when they're not filming, like just like that. It was
not about it that said Massachusetts.Nothing said Massachusetts. And there was one
one sign that it was like halfcrooked and almost off of a building that
(46:30):
just said art gallery, no name. No, it's like the bank robbery
lower Third. It's the most boring. Yeah, it's art in this in
this world, there are no corporationsor brands. It's just this is what
this place is. This is thebank, this is the art gallery.
Maybe a million dollars in this worldwent a long ass way, that's the
(46:51):
thing. Maybe maybe equivalent. Seethis was like robbing two hundred and fifty
million dollars in world. You know. So now I get the you know
the f so I don't know,that would make way more sense than this
movie. Yeah. Yeah, wellthey weren't going for since they're going for
dollars, they weren't going for lastone. Yeah, it's actually not that
(47:15):
not that much anymore. Yeah.Well yeah, let's go into a little
segment that I like to call finalthought and ratings. James, can I
get your final thoughts? And thenyou're rating, of course out of one
(47:37):
hundred cages. Yeah, I'd bedelighted. This movie stunk. I actually
enjoyed talking about it. I reallydidn't enjoy watching it. I thought this
was going to get a single digitscore for me, but upon talking about
it, I realized it really islike there are parts of it that are
so bad. They're not so badthat I would recommend someone go watch this
if they're into bad movies, butthey're so bad for me. Having watched
(48:01):
eighty two cage films. They're kindof good, you know, Like,
think about freaking Vengeance A Love Story, which we watched earlier this year,
didn't I give you even thing aboutit. I would be remiss to give
this movie a lower score than Vengeancea Love Story. So I'm going to
give it a seventeen seventeen cages outof one hundred. Okay, seventeen.
(48:24):
It is aj Yeah, this movieis abysmal, and typically, according to
my ratings on this show, Iwould probably rate it way too high because
there were parts of it that wereso bad that I was like laughing or
(48:47):
shouting out loud, and like therewere at least three or four times where
I was like wow or something likemaking audible noise watching this, Like I
feel like I should reward that withpoints, but I don't think it deserves
it. Like, this movie didnot know what it wanted to be.
(49:08):
It did everything wrong. Writing wasterrible. The best acting I saw in
the whole movie was the bully.Yeah, that punch looked so real and
then he just crumples and I waslike, did he really hit him?
(49:30):
So prop it up to the Bully. I'm giving this the fourteen okay,
can I can I make a quickpoint too before you because you you made
that comment about making noise aloud.At the end of this movie, after
he says the line about having totake more pictures, the music doesn't fade
(49:51):
out or anything. It just cuts. I don't have you noticed that,
but there's like a song playing quietlyin the background of the birthday party,
and he walks in, how'd youget in How'd you get in here?
And and then the music just cutsand then it's just silence for credits for
like ten seconds, and then themusic picks back up again. Horrible.
(50:12):
It's a choice. Yeah, butwhen that happened, I went, so
what, I'm sorry? You justyou just reminded me of the ending of
that movie, which is the Ithink the worst ending I've ever seen in
Yeah, I score down seven.I was gonna cut mine in half.
(50:32):
Whoa, whoa, this is I'mgoing first on the show. This is
crazy. This was It was theworst ending in any movie I've ever seen
ever. I was going to cutmine in half. I'll go to a
nine because I'll round it up soit brings you down to the seven of
me to a nine because I forgotabout the ending and then it doesn't make
(50:52):
any sense. No, it's awful. It takes it. We got to
take some new picks kids, Yeahyours? You know? Why is he
there? Why is the ride along? At He had the most traumatic day
of his entire life. He didn'tcare that he was Apparently that wasn't so
much for him, he seems Yeah, he was just trying to film things.
(51:15):
Oh he's holding a tourniquit, Like, yo, come on, are
we ever gonna finish this? Firefight? Guy? All right? Well,
I thought this movie was not good. I didn't like it. Not a
fan, yep, I h evena five. I just thought it crap.
(51:38):
It's just and it's weird because Ithink we all feel this way too,
where like we all I mean,we just gave this an abysmal score,
but there's still something about it that, like I don't hate it.
I don't know why, Like I'mnot like mad at it, but I
also can't give it a good better, you know, like at fifteen or
twenty which weirdly so weird times Iwant to watch a movie that's in the
(52:00):
single digits, where if I see, like someone gave a movie twenty one
or nineteen. I go, man, that must have been really bad.
But if I see someone gave ita four, I go, wow,
that must have been really bad.Yeah I need to see that. Yeah.
But also, James, like yousaid earlier, if there's any weirdo
(52:22):
listening to the show for some reason, do not watch it because you think
it's a good bad movie. It'sjust no. Yeah, you're not going
to be watch it. Get abunch of laughs and stuff. Yeah,
it's just for us on the showhaving being forced to watch it. All
right, we can kind of laughat some shit. But I would never
recommend this at like a bad movienight, you know. Now. Yeah,
(52:42):
so this movie, Hey gave ita five aja seven. I gave
it the high score of a nine. Easy math aurages out to a seven.
That puts this at hour. Sowe've done eighty three movies. It's
crazy, right, right, eightyeighty two, Right, eighty two.
We've done eighty two. So thatwas this on seventy eight. Because there's
(53:05):
Christmas Carol zero, there is LeftBehind with a four Carolin, I know,
and there is two eleven with aseven. Right, oh fuck,
it's right behind Vengeance a love storywhich I would be remiss to give a
worse a better score than this.I don't remember that movie, but i'm
(53:29):
looking at it, and I seeI gave it it too. So that's
a movie where there's like rape isthe main plot line? Basically? Oh,
is that he's also a cop?Right? Or is he a cop?
Or is he just like a friendor something. I think he's a
detective in it. Yeah, youmight be right. Yeah, I don't
really remember or well, I'm lookingat the list. It was like that,
(53:49):
and then back to back from Inconceivable, which is also yeah, oh
my god, we have a fewgood ones in a row there and then
yeah, no, yeah, andthat was great, but that was a
long time ago. I'm actually disappointed. Awful sheet Hank, and I wanted
(54:12):
to tell you guys the movie fornext week. I haven't even looked at
it. I'm just I'm looking atother stuff. You'll have a nice surprise,
okay, And now, and I'mscrolling up so that I can't see
perfect anyway, because I want tobe oh, g force, remember that
one when he was a little hisa little moll man. It's great.
(54:37):
Sorry, what's what's the next movie? Wait? I'm sorry it was a
seven total seven total. Yeah,that's the next movie stars Kristen Bell,
Greg Babies, Jimmy Kimmel, HalseyBolton, Yeah, and Nicholas Age as
(55:00):
Superman. This is teen Titans goto the movies. Uh oh, this
is gonna rock. It's and that'salways because every time in Nature you were
on it. Every time it's ananimated movie. Bro, it's like,
wow, what what's this guy isamazing Michael Bolt and the whole Yeah,
(55:28):
I'll see the problem this movie isthat other animated ones we have done have
been independent properties. This movie wasa TV show for like ten years and
had three other movies prior. We'renot gonna know any characters of this movie.
Oh and just history. I meanthe books they go they all go
back. It's all yeah, MassiveDC Titans. I don't I don't need
(55:52):
any backstory. Okay, I'm well, I guess Hey, you know what,
it'll be good to see Cage aSuperman in some form for an actual
We've actually here you go a littlelook ahead. We've actually got two voice
acting roles out of the next threemovies, Spider Spider Man You Are Yeah,
(56:15):
which is gonna be awesome. Betweenbetween the Worlds, which is a
dookie. Okay, I haven't.I haven't seen Teen Titans or Between Worlds.
I like that it's sandwich because,like you guys watch a lot of
movies, I don't watch a lotof movies. Yeah, pretty much.
My movie intake is exclusively this podcast. I'm so sorry. This was my
(56:37):
one hundred and fiftieth movie of theyear. Oh my gosh. Really keep
track. You keep track of themovies you watch? How many I do
you watch? I do? He'sa bad Yeah, I'm a sad guy.
I've been doing it for three years. It's really fun. Can you
visualize that data I want to see. I want to see a soweet graph.
(56:58):
I want to I don't know howthat I might be able to do
that for you. With the moviesI've seen in theaters this year, I've
been to the theaters thirty three times. Give it a give it an old
guru, give us your life,brain pusher. Yeah, I've been going
to the Yeah whatever, since Igot a list. They go to the
theater all the time. Yeah,same, which is great. All right,
(57:20):
Well, uh, great work everyone. We did it again. Thanks
for all of you listening, followus. Do we still have a Twitter
No, it's I mean we might. I don't have the password. Okay,
great, okay, great, Wellif you can find the account given
a follow, you're not gonna seeanything new for a while. You still
(57:45):
have an Instagram account, but Ihaven't there, and we do need We'll
always have my good catalog of postersthat you did make. Yeah, we'll
get back getting back to it.Yeah yeah, jazz that look at this.
We just recorded two episodes and I'mactually gonna purposefully release them nine months
apart from each other, just toperfect. Thanks listeners for doing what you
(58:09):
do. Thanks Nicholas Cage for beingwho you are. That's our episode of
to eleven. Really glad that themovies that we came back on are just
two total stinkers. Yes, nowas good long break, good to be
back, and now we got teams, so it's perfect. Nice, nice
(58:32):
change of tapes
Hello, mess, I'm a lieutenantin the police department. I'm in the
middle of a homicide investigation. TryI get my prescription please. The whole
time is standing there with this whomme expression on your face? Have you
ever been dragging to the sidewalk?I'm being till you best blood. No
(00:26):
man has spilt more blood in God'sname than I. How in the name
of Zeus's buttle did you get outof yourself? What you really think?
I let myself get killed in agarbage truck? Ha well, I hit
in a soup, can roll itall the way to the city dump because
(00:46):
I was made for this super babyand I have the care. Oh it's
like it's like it's like a showerfor the soul. I wish I could
say that was nice. I wishI could say, oh, that sounded
(01:07):
nice. It did. I'm terrible. I love that. It's awful.
It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. It's a freight mayre. It's a
nightmare. What's five minus what's fivehundred minus seven hundred eleven? It's two
eleven? Is the film is notcorrect? Negative to eleven? Don't think
(01:32):
so? Pal whoa whoa? Toeleven. Naturally. You see remember when
I when I drove for like thirtyhours straight from Los Angeles to Fort Worth
and saw them with you in theGuy. Yeah, I do remember that.
(01:53):
So sweaty, that dude, itwas so sweaty. It was also
one hundred and five degrees hanka drivenstraight through from LA to Fort Worth.
We saw some Modice, Yahoo andeleven. I don't even know why we
were at the show was the firstSublime, I couldn't tell you. I
think we were there for Sublime withRome, but also I was like three
(02:15):
eleven, Hell yeah, I meanthat's cool with that too, and then
Matus Yahoo was just like that's justfunny, So yes it was. And
then I remember after that getting homebecause it was moving into senior year in
my apartment which had no furniture yet, and I remember just crawling into what
would be my bedroom and just leapingon the carpet. Uh, And it
(02:36):
was great. Drove all the wayback to LA after the concert. Well,
I was interning in Los Angeles,and then stopped in Fort Worth,
which we already had the apartment readyto go, which hadn't really moved in
yet, but Adam had already gottenit, and then Adam and I drove
to Lafayette, Louisiana to get thefurniture, which we then turned around and
drove back to get it all ifI remember night the ship right there.
(03:00):
Yeah, it was a great time. Complicated legistics. Do you want to
introduce us? No? Instead,I'd rather discuss this thrilling cinematic masterpiece to
eleven. Uh And in order todiscuss that, I'll call upon my friends
James Crang that's me and A J. P. And I'm doctor physiology.
(03:24):
So welcome to the Wickerman. Todaywe've watched to eleven two hundred and eleven
YEP, eleven in progress. Wegot eleven? Yeah, yeah it was.
It was released June eighth, twentyeighteen, directed by York Alex Shackleton,
(03:44):
unrelated to York Alex Shackleton. Lookit up George Shackleton. Yeah,
that's sick. John Rebis wrote it. Yeah, it's all there. Those
are two great names. It's whichis funny because the movie wasn't unfortunate,
(04:04):
but he did cush as well.Yeah, weirdly the guy who John Reebis.
This was the only movie he everwrote. How strange. You don't
want to give it another go huhafter this one? You hate to hear
it. This, of course,stars our boy Nicholas Cage as Officer Mike
(04:28):
Chandler. You got Sophie Skelton asLisa McAvoy, Dwayne Cameron and Steve McAvoy,
Michael Rainey Junior as Kenny Resky,James McAvoy as Charles Xavier, and
Nicholas Cage's son, Weston Cage.I'm not going to name any of the
(04:51):
other people, but Weston Cage wasone of the bad guys as a character
named Luke. So yeah to eleventwo one one. Uh, it's a
based on a real story about someyou know, about the cops. That's
what the description say. Is itsays it's based on a real story.
(05:15):
Yeah, apparently this is something likesimilar happening. I mean it's I mean,
I would have imagined that people robbeda bank and police. Yeah,
I mean, you know, it'sbased on a true story, many true
stories actually since the beginning of time. But yeah, he uh, you
know, he gets a he andhis partner get a ride along. It's
just some teenage kid who did nothingwrong and gets beaten up by bullies.
(05:38):
But then they make the kid goon the ride along and at the same
time a bunch of bank robbers arerobbing a bank and they get caught up
in the middle of it. It'san hour and twenty six minutes and for
that I give this a one hundredout of one hundred. Thank you very
much. Great show. So sothis movie was an hour and twenty six
minutes. I would say at leastan hour and three minute of it was
(06:00):
people shooting at each other and missinga lot. There was just extended scenes
of people just shooting at each otherand not hitting each other, and very
loudly. It's like it's like wheneverything else would go off, it's like
everything was cranked up even more.Yeah, and I'm not talking crank too
high voltage, you know, likethis was the bad kind of crank.
So I don't know, damns,let me let me bust your bubble.
(06:26):
That shooting didn't happen before the hourmarch, so it may have felt like
an hour, but that was likefifteen minutes. No, actually, because
there was there was shooting scattered throughoutthe movie. It opens with a scattered
there were like there were action scenesand then the rest of the movie like
yeah, I mean, that's true. So let me set the scene for
(06:48):
how I watched this movie, becauseI watched it in the worst possible way.
I was on a flight and therewas nothing else I could do because
I was watching this on my phone, so I couldn't even like guard my
mind, like I couldn't distract myselffrom the fact that I was watching this
movie. It was I hated thismovie. There was no laundry to distress.
(07:12):
There was this movie sucked nowhere tobe Uh yeah, a jan what
did you think about Right from theget go? This was steaming hot trash
baby. Yeah, finally we allagree on a Yeah movie. I loved
it. I thought it was thegreatest. Shut up, it's a movie.
(07:33):
Yeah all time. You know,this movie opens up in Afghanistan,
right, and it's al Aghanistan onthis lady's fingers and she's typing. They
were just around a bunch of rocks. She's not even typing, she's just
going like this over hacker and there'slike generic random like ms dos code on
(07:59):
the commune here and then like menacingguy behind her, like look at all
the money that we're so around theworld. Is the transfer done? Yes,
it's complete great, we can gohome now. Is everything taken care
of? Yes? Did you sendthat email to of course? Like it's
(08:24):
about Yeah, I was gonna clipsome of it and I couldn't be bothered.
I was like a jail, ajail reenacted on the pod. It's
not worth yeah, it's not.Sorry. John reapis in York, you
know. I mean it was soflat, you know, and and and
(08:45):
unfortunately, like I will say,if I do give any credit to the
movie, some of the action scenesI liked, and I thought, like,
the mercenary guys are actually pretty cool. But they didn't say anything.
They just shot people, you know, and did their thing. Anyone that
talked sucked. They had nothing goodto work with. So I want to
push back on you a little bitbecause I thought the mercenaries were cool.
In the first scene, I thoughtwe were getting a movie about some international
(09:11):
mercenaries that we're gonna commit these likeheinous crime robberies whatever, and there was
gonna be this Interpol agent and thenthere was gonna be cage. Instead,
what we got was these mercenaries whocould have got all the money they wanted
wired to them, that said we'lldo it the hard way. And just
robbed a small town bank like itdidn't and they go to bump fuck nowhere
(09:37):
America, Chesterfield does It makes nosense because the guy goes, oh,
you know one of the places wetransferred it was Chesterfield. And they go
and it's like they just needed thename of a bank. It's like they
didn't know one bank. They literallysaid, word for word, name one
US bank. I guess bank.It's all right, that's where we're going,
(10:01):
and that this money is in Switzerland, it's in Iraq, it's stare
in Afghanistan, it's in London,it's in America. So yeah, they
go to Chesterfield, Missouri wherever thefuck. It is awful if you look
at like the transfers at the beginning, because I had to rewatch this because
I fell asleep, right so Istart rewatching the movie and then I ended
(10:24):
up skipping skipping a bunch, butthat opening scene hilarious. I actually,
like I loved some of this moviejust because of how bad it was.
And then like that opening scene thebank transfers, they're all like thousands of
dollars, so like a couple thousanddollars of this guy's money is in this
(10:45):
bank, that's the thing we're goingto go because it's supposed to be like
nine million dollars but spread across theglobe, and it's like we've kind of
said it, but it's a smalltown bank, so it's not they're not
going to have a lot anyways.So they're going to rob They're going from
Afghanistan to Massachusetts for two hundred thousanddollars apiece. Yeah, it probably cost
(11:07):
us much just to get all thefucking gear they have and fly over there.
You know. It's the guy thatthey shot. He was just like,
I'll get you guys the money.You know, let's let's do it
the easy way. And then theguy's line is like, Nord, you
want to do it the hard wayand then shoots them. I'm like,
why kill him? Later? Seeif he would you say a j They
(11:31):
rented on what unit like a likea storage unity. They showed them in
their hideout at some point, whichI thought it was like their stash spot
in the US where they're going togear up and then go do the hest
right, you would think that whatevertheir spot is is going to be I
don't know, maybe near a majorcity, DC, New York, whatever,
(11:56):
because like the place was pimped out. It looked like, you know,
well, they especially already have alot of money based off just what
they all have. I mean,they got to have some stash, they
do because they can't. There wasa library said that's more than we made
in the army, and it's like, what was this like a shot at
the armed forces or something. They'reclearly not like, yeah, they're clearly
(12:20):
not part of the military anymore.They've all gone rogue. And of course
you don't. You don't make moneyin the army, you know, so
you make the money by being mercenarieslike this, I assume. But yeah,
you guys are seeking out over amillion dollars. Ways, yeah,
it's really good. Way five ways. There's a whole crom there's four robbers
(12:41):
and a driver. It's it's andthey got to pay for them a back
home. You know, they gottapay for the bills. And you know
what the worst part about that wholething is is it's not the worst storyline
in the movie. There's the fuckingand then there's the guy, the son
(13:05):
Cage's son in law who gets shoton the leg and basically immediately gives up
on life. That's he's dead immediately. It's nothing you can do. You
know, shot the leg, You'redone, it's all over. Is the
second most important. There's the guywho on his anniversary went to his work
and then hated his wife so muchthat he asked the robbers to kill him.
(13:30):
Basically, that was that was bizarre. He stands at the bank teller,
he stands up or manager, andhe goes, if you're gonna shoot
me, then shoot me. Theguy's like, all right, all right
off, and then the guy justgives everyone else food like there was no
The guy who got shot escalated theentire situation. Yeah. Yeah, I
(13:54):
agree with something you said earlier,like there were moments throughout the movie that
I like more. Some of theaction stuff I liked, but as a
whole, it was just so Ikept laughing at the journalists because they kept
cutting to the news and the headlinewas bank robbery, bank robbery, just
bankrobbery. So I do this fora living, and I tried to take
(14:16):
a screenshot, but Hulu doesn't letyou screenshot. I make lower thirds for
the news for a living. Iwas personally offended by this. It just
it didn't say where you know,what happened exclusion It was breaking news,
like Hank said up top, andthen bank robbery. It was like a
(14:37):
blaseholder. It's unbelievable. That wasThat was one of my notes. Uh.
My only other note was that WestonCage whenever they whenever they go and
actually start robbing the bank, theyhave giron. He looks like the Winter
Soldier. Yeah it does. Yeah, it looks like a chubby or Winter
Soldier. Yeah, that's I alsowent he had off camera lines. He
(15:03):
sounded a lot like Nick Cage,like there was a couple of moments where
I could use the jeans, youknow, yeah, you could tell.
I also thought no one was Idon't think they filmed the last act of
this movie with anyone in the sameroom. I think everyone was in different
areas, because, like Cage goesback to visit his family. Oh yeah,
it's like one shot of him walkinginto the room, He's like,
(15:24):
wow, everyone's here, and thenit cuts to like people in different parts
of the room, and then aseparate cut to the kid standing there in
a different room, and then backto Cage, and they never interact with
each other. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about the last scene.
Now, this is a movie thatpotentially fewer than three thousand people I've seen,
even though Cage is in it,because I had never even heard of
(15:46):
this movie and in life for somereason. But I have six notes in
this movie. Hm. My firstnote was the breaking the the bank robbery,
breaking newsling. I have a noteto clip audio, didn't clip it?
And then I have two notes aboutthis final scene. What my first
(16:10):
note was, why was the dadwho gave up on life immediately Cage's son
in law? Why was he justpetting his daughter's head as if it was
a dog. It was as ifthe wife was originally supposed to be holding
a dog, and he's just pettingthe little girl's head. And it's one
of the weirder things I think I'veever seen someone do in a movie.
(16:30):
That was my first note. Mysecond note was was this movie a comedy?
Because the last scene of the thelast line of the movie is Cage
going, Hey, Kenny, where'sthat phone you're always screwing around with?
I know, line photos or whatever. Right, He's like, I gotta
(16:53):
take some fresh picks. Yeah,Like, yeah, I gotta take some
fresh picks. Was this like abuddy cop movie, James, I hate
to break it to you, butI'm looking it up on box office Mojo
because I had to see some numbershere and under the genres it says action,
drama and thriller. Okay. Iwas thrilled the whole time. It
(17:15):
also did not make his money.This movie was not made by human beings.
Okay. This movie was made bycreatures tending to be human beings and
trying to emulate like human culture.And this is what people. It was
like it was written with ai.It doesn't make sense. This is what
(17:37):
this is. Isn't what the writersare terrified of. That's it. It's
like, actually, chadipts would probablybe more interesting, so much better.
You would have more detail, youknow. Let's James, let's let's go
into the video line, right,because like for that to be the pullback,
(18:02):
you know it. There was thisweird theme of this kid videotaping on
his phone throughout the movie, right, which, which, by the way,
how are we introduced to that Awhat's the first scene we see him
filming? The first scene we seehim filming is him in the bathroom recording
(18:22):
himself in the mirror, talking abouthow he's not gonna let himself get beat
up today and what happens immediately afterthat because shoving his face in the toilet
and also videotaping it, and todayever consult the videotape to see that this
(18:45):
kid is innocent and was being recordedgetting bullied. No, but no,
but the principal saw him punch theguy. So that's it. Clearly,
police ride along, I guess,right, yeah, yeah it was.
(19:06):
But by the way that that youknow, that kid, what's his name,
I'm trying to pull Kevin or Kennyplayed by Michael rainey Man. He
just looked bored the whole time,like he was in real life, I
know. And I'm like, dude, you're in a you're in a car
with Nick Gage right now, Likeat least show something. He's got nothing,
(19:27):
you know, he's And then likethere's I wish I had a screenshot
of this too. There's a momentit's whenever the partner cop gets shot and
he thinks that he's dying, andthere's like a moment where he's just like
he's like, can you someone playshelp me? And Kenny's next to me,
just like he looks so so boredand so the gunfire, everyone police
(19:48):
officers dying around in him and hejust like sitting around. Well, there's
also a moment in that same timewhere he gets shot where the looks at
Kenny it goes, let me justtell you something, kid, and then
just pulls his head into his chest. It doesn't say another word, and
it just sits on that job.After he forces him to film his goodbye
(20:11):
video first, I like the firstthing that you know, it's assuming he
dies. He has he did justglitch hardcore there. I've been practicing my
Internet way. It's just a littletactic I've been working on. So if
it happens again, you know,don't worry about it. I'm going through
(20:32):
timelines here. So yeah, thekid he's got, well, I want
to get clear. Is the SonyExperia. You know, if you didn't
catch that at any point, itwas a Sony Experience phone, great quality
camera. I swear that they onlyhad his phone die so they could show
Sony pop up on the screen.The only reason that that that it happened,
but it had enough battery to getthrough the last video, which shows
(20:55):
how strong of a performing battery thatis. Point overall, but he's filming
the officer who's just like to mywife, I love you and you baby.
We knew that one day the promiseof me coming home would have to
be broken, and this is thatday. It's like all the cliches you
hear from like cor stuff. Andthen he goes and to my to my
kid life stuff. You know,sorry, so I'm he goes, I'm
(21:22):
your dad life stuff. I'm sorry, I'm your dad. Be so scarred
after seeing this video. It's awful. The rest of the movies is nothing.
A Cage says like ten words inthe movie. Uh, he's boring.
He's boring. He's just getting apaycheck, you know that. He
(21:42):
he. I wasn't crazy about himin this one. Let's let's talk about
Western Cage and his lines. Okay, I feel like I don't recall him
having more than just one liners,things like yeah, yeah, no,
(22:03):
and the majority of his lines areoff screen, like as if they went
back and Cage was like, myson doesn't have enough lines, and a
few more lines because they're so they'reone liners that nobody responds to them,
and they're again. I think hewas formed entirely filmed in a separate room
(22:26):
from how he must have been,which is bizarre. My my favorite part
is, uh, when they getto the bank, right, so they're
gonna rob this random ass bank fora million dollars and uh, like the
dialogue is just so you got thebags of got the bags? So then
(22:48):
they you know, start by shootingsomeone immediately and then everyone gets down and
then like they open the vault andWeston goes back into the vault and he
starts packing up the money and theother guy is like, you got this,
and he's like, what I do? And it starts like pulling up
the money bags right then Q thewhole climax of the movie, right,
(23:15):
this whole shootout scene and more copscome. There's a shootout and then the
swat team gets called and then theymore the hostages and like the whole crux
of the movie is going on whilethis guy's packing up the cash, dude,
and he had taking one minute.Have you mentioned that they gave him
one minute to pack up the cashout of their five minute plans, which
(23:38):
which aj how many stacks of cashwere there because it was a million dollars
right there was what ten stacks ofcash? There was a lot of cash,
but still No, there was alot of cash. I'm just saying
the way it was bundled, itwas not there was not many to transfer
to event, right, like maybemore than your hands. You one is
(24:04):
undoing the plastic wrap around the cashand taking it out bill by bill,
That's what I'm saying. And itwas only five dollar bills. And that's
so it wasn't even and and thatruins their entire plan. Right, So
these guys were introduced to them atthe beginning as these really savvy sharpshooters really
(24:26):
got their ship together. They're supposedto in five minutes. Yeah, yeah,
like you said, like I wasexpecting that kind of a movie.
Like even if the dialogue's bad,right, even if like the love story
is stupid, the action scenes,you want to see these badass dudes doing
badass things and the you know,the big the big thing in the movie
(24:49):
is them royally fucking up like astandard bank robbery, and like the Interpol
ladies, like, you know,you can't underestimate these guys. They're they
use your attack for their escape andlike, yo, they didn't even try
to escape. They just they're justshooting people. And then they say there's
(25:11):
a whole other plot line that haslike two scenes of this lady who starts
in Cabal I think, or Indiaor some ship, and she has a
priceless relic which I wanted to seethat story. I want to sahere she
got that from. And she meetsup with a fucking India Jones scenario situation
(25:32):
old man that's that's buying it,and she's literally in the middle of going
make this sale because she's actually tryingto arrest this smuggler. Uh, and
then just the police, the FBIor some ship the military shows up and
they take her away and she's like, ugh, I was just in the
middle of of taking down the biggestart and smuggler in all of Cabal,
(25:52):
and they're like, I swear there'sa big robbery in Chesterville, New York.
Oh, I swear they cut outso much time of this movie and
it all had to do with herand it had to do with the mercenaries,
and they were like, nah,it's it's fine. Next time.
Budget like an hour into the hourand twenty minute movie where she shows up
(26:17):
in the in the in the hostor whatever the fucking bank situation, and
she goes up to the cop incharge and she says, I'm with Inner
pol and I need to talk toyou about these guys. And the chief
goes, oh no, and thenshe goes, no, you don't get
it. I have photos of them, and he goes, wait what,
And then she's in and still doesn'tdo anything. They just to their lair
(26:41):
that was just sitting there wide open, and there was this thing of C
four, Like yeah. She goesto that that that gun shop at one
point and she and this is onthe gun shop owner. She goes,
hey, do you know this man? And then he goes, I don't
know him, and then she pointedthe picture of the man and them together
behind him and he goes, shoot. That was great that. The other
(27:04):
part I loved about the C fourwas that she shows up with this what
was it like, the packaging fromthe C four and she's like, there
was C four in there and theguy takes it and he goes, that's
C four. No, that's blastingthat good good point and that the four
(27:26):
blew up that restaurant. So it'shappened like an hour ago in the movie
time and again, the amount ofpeople that these guys have killed just for
this million dollar bank hest what's lifework? You know, it's fucking crazy.
But yeah, what I gandered fromthese guys objective is that like they've
(27:47):
seen they've seen the gnarliest combat inthe world and live without it, right,
So there they want to do somethingto get the SWAT team called on
them so that they could showcase theirskills and have like a decent opponent to
fight. Otherwise they're just wasting peoplelike their MPCs. But I don't think.
(28:08):
But but their whole thing was theywanted to be in and out and
find that you like, I think, But they couldn't pack up the money
fast enough. I know, ButI don't think they were like trying to
get SWAT called on them. Ithink they wait what, No, They're
(28:29):
definitely not trying to get SWAT calledin. They had a good plan,
they just fucked up and went slowwith They fucked up by going slow getting
the money itself, and then byjust so happened that Cage and his partner
with the ride along were across thestreet noticed something went wrong and got involved
too soon because the actual police andall that they didn't show up at least
according to a Cage like until anhour, like after the events that went
(28:51):
down. Oh yeah, why wouldthey want the police there? They're trying
to get No, I think becauselike at a certain point, right,
it's okay too long the times,I know, I just I'm waiting,
(29:11):
mostly because I had in and outfor lunch today. No, kind of
like those Indians. They they're likea dilly dally and with the with the
fucking jim jab and like can weput that quote on the box, goes
(29:37):
back into the vault and he's andlike, after all this time, he's
finally packed up the money and he'slike, hey, forget that. You
know it. You know, thebig guns are coming, and Weston's line
is and then he hops up inhis in his sniper rifle and starts getting
his rocks off like might be people, which he's really really good at,
(30:03):
unless it's at Cage or the kid. Yes, father, he's got Cage
in the sights, dead scoped.Cage has his head like in the trunk
of the police car, trying toget the med kit and he doesn't move
and somehow the sniper just misses himtwice. And yeah, but they show
(30:26):
us the scope right on Cage's head. Yeah, but it's the wind,
the wind factor. So my othernote go off here for a second.
But this was the most infuriating scenein a movie. I could think of
it a long, long, longtime. So let me get this out
(30:48):
after. Is his name, Mikeis the son in law? Is his
name Mike, Steve, Steve,Steve mckimoy. That's right, Mike Chan
There is his cage. So Stevegets shot. They finally get him to
the ambulance. I mean, it'sbeen like an hour and Steve gave up
(31:08):
on life. Thirty seconds in theygot him to the ambulance like that,
he's coding. They're like they youknow whatever. Rush into the hospital.
His wife runs in to the er, sees him in surgery and pushes the
doctors aside to say I'm here,Steve, I'm here, and puts her
(31:32):
head down on his chest, andthe doctors are like, please get out
of the way. We're trying tosave her husband. She's like, don't
worry about it, no, I'mhis wife. Yeah. They're like,
fuck out of the way. Okay. So then as if that's not bad
enough, they wheel in the othercop, the lady cop who got shot,
(31:52):
who's bleeding out and the wife islike, what happened, Yeah,
the chest and the lady's like itwas bank robbery. There's a ride along.
So the nurse whose son Kenny wason this ride along, is with
(32:15):
this patient who's bleeding out and definitelygonna die, and as she's dying starts
freaking out about her son. Herson calls well. The wife picks up
the phone, puts it up tothe nurse's ear, and she has like
a five minute conversation with her sonwhile her patient just dies in front of
her. That was infuriating she andshe can't pick it up because she's at
(32:38):
the gloves because assumingly she's performing surgery. Surgery she did, that's my son's
ringtone, and the lady is likegurgling blood underneath and she's like, all
right, son, b shade,I'm I'm so proud of you. Sure
(32:59):
you don't love? Of course,for an hour the situation which, by
the way, a j how doeshe call his mom? This kid is
freaking steiye mcgiver and takes him likeokay, So it's rated from from the
(33:22):
policeman that he's on the ride alongwith, right, and they go to
the ambulance to save the guy who'sa coward, and he just jumps into
a jeep right shot. He isI agree, is that guy with dying
like little bitch has some dignity?God dammit, I got I'm so cold.
(33:47):
I'm cold. So he lays downin the back of this suv.
And I really thought I saw thisstuffed animal like I'm alive and like reach
out above him, and it lookedlike something out of Chucky or something,
And I was like, what thefuck is up with that stuffed animal?
(34:09):
And then like it cuts back tohim like ten minutes later, and he
takes a part, takes the stuffedanimal battery out and like splices the charging
cable to his phone charger and rigsthat ship up. Yeah, I think
enough the cigarette lighter, didn't hehe took the cigarette? What did he
(34:34):
do? Whatever? He took acigarette lighter. I never should have worked
with the power of Sony experien youcan charge with anything. No. I
think you're right, James. Ithink if it was, it's a blur
to me. And I watched histhree hours ago. He like reaches in
and grabs a cigarette lighter. Hegrabs the stuffed animal thing pulls the battery
(34:55):
out of it and it just touchesthem together and he sort of his bone.
Yeah, he went to be fairgets bullied. Yeah, fucking hurd.
I couldn't believe when whenever, becauselike, that's that happens they get
(35:15):
split up, because that's when they'rerunning off to save detective dumb dumb and
and that's when the lady cop getsshot. Right, No one stopped.
She gets shot. She's laying out, bleeding on the sidewalk. They go,
they put detective cop guy down.They're all kind of standing around,
and one of the other cops goes, oh, I'm gonna go grab Jessica.
(35:37):
Yeah, and then it runs backand just drags along. No one
else helps him, and it lookslike shot in the spine. Yeah,
she's never gonna walk again, draggingher and then the mom's screaming at her,
and it's just insane. Uh,James, did you like I was?
(36:00):
I was waiting to see if youwere gonna call this line out,
and I wanted to bring it upjust in case, because because I thought
it was a line that you probablyloved whenever. It's earlier in the movie,
you know, So we find outthe beginning of the film that detective
dumb Dumb his wife is pregnant.Now they're gonna have a baby. They're
so excited. They go into thecar they're riding along and and by the
(36:23):
way, that Ice Cube movie wasway better than this movie. But that's
that's that's a different episode for Butanyways, so he tells Cage and he's
like in Cage is, of coursehis father in law. And he's like,
hey, so Monica or whatever dameis is, is you know we're
gonna have a baby. And Cagegoes, huh that's good. Oh,
(36:45):
congratulations, right, and that's allyou get. And then they get out
of the car and when they getback to the station, they meet it
with other cops and then he startsslapping his son in law on the back
and goes, he got my hegot my daughter pregnant. I'm like,
the line that I liked was whenthe cop goes the other cop goes,
he's like, I'm just glad itwasn't you. Oh yeah, this could
(37:09):
have been worse. It could havebeen you. And the guy's like why
because I'm black. He's like,yeah, yeah, it was. It
was so bad. I mean thismovie. And when I say this,
I want to be clear. Ididn't think it was good, but the
good parts being the action parts.Relative to this film, it always was
(37:31):
just enough where I'd be like,Okay, all right, I'm watching,
and then when they go back tonon action talking dialogue, whatever, it
just it just takes all them.There's something about this movie that's so infuriatingly
bad that it's a little bit lessinfuriatingly bad than some of the other ones
we've watched. Yeah, and that'sthat makes sense. And I think part
(37:53):
of it is when the writing isso terrible, but you have someone that
can at least competently direct some someactiony scenes, it's like, oh,
well, I guess the script probablyjust says they rob a bank so we
can film that. It's no talking, it's just it's just doing the action
in the color. So I wasgonna let the slide. But you've said
(38:13):
it about eight times now. Yeah, you thought the action scenes were good
in this movie relative to the scaleof this movie. It's the better parts
of the movie. Man. Ithought the action seeds were arguably more boring
than I don't think the only timeI paid attention, probably because I heard
gunshots fucking screaming at me from acrossmy apartment. But it just I mean,
(38:35):
maybe it was like realistic, whichis it just felt like we would
watch one side send a bunch ofshots and miss, and then the other
side would volley a bunch of shotsand miss. Yeah, but that's way
more than anything they say when thesepeople talk. I mean, yeah,
I guess that's true. It wasmore visual. It was probably realistic,
(38:58):
realistic. I think all these peopleare terrible, and I don't know how
they would be these perfect military youknow, rogues with their level of gunfire.
I guess I meant from the copsside of things. Oh yeah,
well, that's that's like stormtroopers.I mean they shoot everywhere and and misplaying.
I just me I liked I likethe stuff with the military guys as
(39:20):
far as the movie goes. Butagain, that's on the that's that's on
the what I'm gonna call it,uh, what's his name? Uh the
York Shackleton Curve. Okay, wherethat's the that's the best we got.
Yeah, you're right. And thenon the rebis Curve curve. I think
the line about the black cop wasprobably yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(39:43):
mostly the part that Gis goes noyeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I hate I hate to call moviesbad, but this one sucked.
It was yeah, just not ohman, and it made me actually think,
Wow, I preferred Looking Glass overthis, you know, like,
(40:05):
yeah, at least, at leastI had some fun acting. And there
was a character story with Cage,Like Cage isn't even in the I mean,
he's in the movie, but hejust he's just like a wall,
Like there's just nothing to go offwith them. He barely talks. It's
just like, why, why,why did they even bother getting him for
this movie. He clearly wasn't jazzedabout it, which I don't know.
I don't know, but yet hedoes yell they get again, they got
(40:30):
one, they got one? Yell. I mean I hated it. Yeah,
I'm pretty tapped on that. Yeah, we had a pretty strong forty
minutes there, and it's pretty It'spretty good York Alex Shackleton. Maybe the
(40:51):
next one, will you will youask me about the segment because it just
ties in perfectly, But I don'twant to jump into the segment without you
asking. Oh, sure, ofcourse, I would like to know.
James few if we have any sortof I don't know, goofs or gaffs
or maybe some gules, no ghules. Very few goops or gas, which
(41:15):
I felt like the goops are gas. There was actually a lot of them,
but they were all just like thismovie, so boring that I really
even want to say them on thepodcast. They're so freaking bad. I
can't believe people even wrote them out. Give us one, but there are
two here. Yeah, the bestone I think is in the trivia,
not even in the goose of gas. But I'll give you the first miscellaneous
(41:38):
one here. When Mike and Steveare in the car about twenty two minutes
in and right after he says youshould really call your daughter, the car's
gear shift is clearly in the parkposition five. Helpful. One not helpful.
I'm just and I know it's likeit's just like a like or dislike
(42:00):
system. But how how could somethinglike that be deemed helpful? I know
that it just makes no sense.It doesn't there's nothing about that that helps
in your understanding of this movie.Like, fuck it. Yeah that was
(42:21):
helpful. Yeah, I feel likeI feel like now I know how cars
work because they are I always hadthe park on and it doesn't go what
do you do? What's the dealwith? Okay, what's the so that
this is the this is the triviaone is uh And to be clear,
(42:42):
I would like to call that onenot helpful. Well, there is actually
some good trivia here. Nicholas Cagedescribed the movie as disappointing. Nicholas Cage
said he didn't like the final cut. Damn. But then here eighteen people
found this helpful. Four found itnot helpful. If you see the ending
(43:07):
credits, almost at the end ofthe cast section, the word vice principle
is spelled incorrectly? Is it?Is it principal instead of principal? I
think it's an instead of a like. I like the assumption in the beginning
going and you make it to thefucking credits of this movie. Yeah,
(43:28):
people, eighteen people found that helpful. Now, maybe this was like a
like, But how did eighteen peoplelike that? How is that possible?
That was written by like a reallydisgruntled, like middle school English teacher like
error, because it's infuriated. Thatwas written by teacher that walked into the
(43:53):
bathroom and saw the kid punching theguy. That's yeah, And then all
the all the staff liked it onIMDb because he asked him to like his
Internet comment, so they did.There you go. I think he nailed
it. Yeah, yeah, anyany other interesting Uh nah, that's it.
(44:14):
Here you go, Actually, hereyou go. Here's some interesting trivia.
Sorry a J. I hope thisdoesn't steal from you that I had
interesting trivia first. So yeah,but I wasn't done with my segment,
so let me finish my Is itabout this? Is it about zip codes?
If it's about zip codes, Iwon't say it it's not. Okay,
(44:35):
Well, let me knock your socksoff with this one. Zero people
found this helpful. Zero people foundit unhelpful. Chester Ford's ZIP code is
zero two four or five two,placing it in Middlesex County, Massachusetts.
Actually, I'm gonna say helpful becauseearlier in the pod, I was trying
to figure out where it was.Okay, there you go, so you're
(45:00):
well maybe missus Missouri or Mississippi oryou're welcome. There we go, boom,
helpful. These are these are trash, just like the movie I found
his helpful right, was just onon Amazon Prime. It was included in
(45:23):
Prime. Why, I don't knowbut I watched it on I watched it
on Hulu, but it is onboth. Yeah, I saw like a
little trivia facts pop up on screenthat said Nicholas Cage broke his leg during
the filming of this movie when likeBulgaria or something. And I'm like,
(45:50):
what is that when they filmed?Are you sure that was this movie?
When was he in Bulgaria? Hewasn't in any of those scenes. No,
it was just with his son.But they might have filmed all this
stuff over there anyways. I mean, man, talk about that reminds me
talk about the sets of this movie. I mean it just looked like Hollywood
(46:10):
Street Us, Like it looked likethe fucking back lad when I worked at
Paramount. But without Yeah, ittotally did you know, Like it was
just the flat when they're not filming, like just like that. It was
not about it that said Massachusetts.Nothing said Massachusetts. And there was one
one sign that it was like halfcrooked and almost off of a building that
(46:30):
just said art gallery, no name. No, it's like the bank robbery
lower Third. It's the most boring. Yeah, it's art in this in
this world, there are no corporationsor brands. It's just this is what
this place is. This is thebank, this is the art gallery.
Maybe a million dollars in this worldwent a long ass way, that's the
(46:51):
thing. Maybe maybe equivalent. Seethis was like robbing two hundred and fifty
million dollars in world. You know. So now I get the you know
the f so I don't know,that would make way more sense than this
movie. Yeah. Yeah, wellthey weren't going for since they're going for
dollars, they weren't going for lastone. Yeah, it's actually not that
(47:15):
not that much anymore. Yeah.Well yeah, let's go into a little
segment that I like to call finalthought and ratings. James, can I
get your final thoughts? And thenyou're rating, of course out of one
(47:37):
hundred cages. Yeah, I'd bedelighted. This movie stunk. I actually
enjoyed talking about it. I reallydidn't enjoy watching it. I thought this
was going to get a single digitscore for me, but upon talking about
it, I realized it really islike there are parts of it that are
so bad. They're not so badthat I would recommend someone go watch this
if they're into bad movies, butthey're so bad for me. Having watched
(48:01):
eighty two cage films. They're kindof good, you know, Like,
think about freaking Vengeance A Love Story, which we watched earlier this year,
didn't I give you even thing aboutit. I would be remiss to give
this movie a lower score than Vengeancea Love Story. So I'm going to
give it a seventeen seventeen cages outof one hundred. Okay, seventeen.
(48:24):
It is aj Yeah, this movieis abysmal, and typically, according to
my ratings on this show, Iwould probably rate it way too high because
there were parts of it that wereso bad that I was like laughing or
(48:47):
shouting out loud, and like therewere at least three or four times where
I was like wow or something likemaking audible noise watching this, Like I
feel like I should reward that withpoints, but I don't think it deserves
it. Like, this movie didnot know what it wanted to be.
(49:08):
It did everything wrong. Writing wasterrible. The best acting I saw in
the whole movie was the bully.Yeah, that punch looked so real and
then he just crumples and I waslike, did he really hit him?
(49:30):
So prop it up to the Bully. I'm giving this the fourteen okay,
can I can I make a quickpoint too before you because you you made
that comment about making noise aloud.At the end of this movie, after
he says the line about having totake more pictures, the music doesn't fade
(49:51):
out or anything. It just cuts. I don't have you noticed that,
but there's like a song playing quietlyin the background of the birthday party,
and he walks in, how'd youget in How'd you get in here?
And and then the music just cutsand then it's just silence for credits for
like ten seconds, and then themusic picks back up again. Horrible.
(50:12):
It's a choice. Yeah, butwhen that happened, I went, so
what, I'm sorry? You justyou just reminded me of the ending of
that movie, which is the Ithink the worst ending I've ever seen in
Yeah, I score down seven.I was gonna cut mine in half.
(50:32):
Whoa, whoa, this is I'mgoing first on the show. This is
crazy. This was It was theworst ending in any movie I've ever seen
ever. I was going to cutmine in half. I'll go to a
nine because I'll round it up soit brings you down to the seven of
me to a nine because I forgotabout the ending and then it doesn't make
(50:52):
any sense. No, it's awful. It takes it. We got to
take some new picks kids, Yeahyours? You know? Why is he
there? Why is the ride along? At He had the most traumatic day
of his entire life. He didn'tcare that he was Apparently that wasn't so
much for him, he seems Yeah, he was just trying to film things.
(51:15):
Oh he's holding a tourniquit, Like, yo, come on, are
we ever gonna finish this? Firefight? Guy? All right? Well,
I thought this movie was not good. I didn't like it. Not a
fan, yep, I h evena five. I just thought it crap.
(51:38):
It's just and it's weird because Ithink we all feel this way too,
where like we all I mean,we just gave this an abysmal score,
but there's still something about it that, like I don't hate it.
I don't know why, Like I'mnot like mad at it, but I
also can't give it a good better, you know, like at fifteen or
twenty which weirdly so weird times Iwant to watch a movie that's in the
(52:00):
single digits, where if I see, like someone gave a movie twenty one
or nineteen. I go, man, that must have been really bad.
But if I see someone gave ita four, I go, wow,
that must have been really bad.Yeah I need to see that. Yeah.
But also, James, like yousaid earlier, if there's any weirdo
(52:22):
listening to the show for some reason, do not watch it because you think
it's a good bad movie. It'sjust no. Yeah, you're not going
to be watch it. Get abunch of laughs and stuff. Yeah,
it's just for us on the showhaving being forced to watch it. All
right, we can kind of laughat some shit. But I would never
recommend this at like a bad movienight, you know. Now. Yeah,
(52:42):
so this movie, Hey gave ita five aja seven. I gave
it the high score of a nine. Easy math aurages out to a seven.
That puts this at hour. Sowe've done eighty three movies. It's
crazy, right, right, eightyeighty two, Right, eighty two.
We've done eighty two. So thatwas this on seventy eight. Because there's
(53:05):
Christmas Carol zero, there is LeftBehind with a four Carolin, I know,
and there is two eleven with aseven. Right, oh fuck,
it's right behind Vengeance a love storywhich I would be remiss to give a
worse a better score than this.I don't remember that movie, but i'm
(53:29):
looking at it, and I seeI gave it it too. So that's
a movie where there's like rape isthe main plot line? Basically? Oh,
is that he's also a cop?Right? Or is he a cop?
Or is he just like a friendor something. I think he's a
detective in it. Yeah, youmight be right. Yeah, I don't
really remember or well, I'm lookingat the list. It was like that,
(53:49):
and then back to back from Inconceivable, which is also yeah, oh
my god, we have a fewgood ones in a row there and then
yeah, no, yeah, andthat was great, but that was a
long time ago. I'm actually disappointed. Awful sheet Hank, and I wanted
(54:12):
to tell you guys the movie fornext week. I haven't even looked at
it. I'm just I'm looking atother stuff. You'll have a nice surprise,
okay, And now, and I'mscrolling up so that I can't see
perfect anyway, because I want tobe oh, g force, remember that
one when he was a little hisa little moll man. It's great.
(54:37):
Sorry, what's what's the next movie? Wait? I'm sorry it was a
seven total seven total. Yeah,that's the next movie stars Kristen Bell,
Greg Babies, Jimmy Kimmel, HalseyBolton, Yeah, and Nicholas Age as
(55:00):
Superman. This is teen Titans goto the movies. Uh oh, this
is gonna rock. It's and that'salways because every time in Nature you were
on it. Every time it's ananimated movie. Bro, it's like,
wow, what what's this guy isamazing Michael Bolt and the whole Yeah,
(55:28):
I'll see the problem this movie isthat other animated ones we have done have
been independent properties. This movie wasa TV show for like ten years and
had three other movies prior. We'renot gonna know any characters of this movie.
Oh and just history. I meanthe books they go they all go
back. It's all yeah, MassiveDC Titans. I don't I don't need
(55:52):
any backstory. Okay, I'm well, I guess Hey, you know what,
it'll be good to see Cage aSuperman in some form for an actual
We've actually here you go a littlelook ahead. We've actually got two voice
acting roles out of the next threemovies, Spider Spider Man You Are Yeah,
(56:15):
which is gonna be awesome. Betweenbetween the Worlds, which is a
dookie. Okay, I haven't.I haven't seen Teen Titans or Between Worlds.
I like that it's sandwich because,like you guys watch a lot of
movies, I don't watch a lotof movies. Yeah, pretty much.
My movie intake is exclusively this podcast. I'm so sorry. This was my
(56:37):
one hundred and fiftieth movie of theyear. Oh my gosh. Really keep
track. You keep track of themovies you watch? How many I do
you watch? I do? He'sa bad Yeah, I'm a sad guy.
I've been doing it for three years. It's really fun. Can you
visualize that data I want to see. I want to see a soweet graph.
(56:58):
I want to I don't know howthat I might be able to do
that for you. With the moviesI've seen in theaters this year, I've
been to the theaters thirty three times. Give it a give it an old
guru, give us your life,brain pusher. Yeah, I've been going
to the Yeah whatever, since Igot a list. They go to the
theater all the time. Yeah,same, which is great. All right,
(57:20):
Well, uh, great work everyone. We did it again. Thanks
for all of you listening, followus. Do we still have a Twitter
No, it's I mean we might. I don't have the password. Okay,
great, okay, great, Wellif you can find the account given
a follow, you're not gonna seeanything new for a while. You still
(57:45):
have an Instagram account, but Ihaven't there, and we do need We'll
always have my good catalog of postersthat you did make. Yeah, we'll
get back getting back to it.Yeah yeah, jazz that look at this.
We just recorded two episodes and I'mactually gonna purposefully release them nine months
apart from each other, just toperfect. Thanks listeners for doing what you
(58:09):
do. Thanks Nicholas Cage for beingwho you are. That's our episode of
to eleven. Really glad that themovies that we came back on are just
two total stinkers. Yes, nowas good long break, good to be
back, and now we got teams, so it's perfect. Nice, nice
(58:32):
change of tapes
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