October 16, 2024 • 52 mins
Based on the context provided, here's a summary of the meeting so far: The Wicker Men Pod, Billy Bobby, and James Creange are discussing the movie "Kill Chain" starring Nicolas Cage. They express strong disappointment with the film, criticizing its boring plot, poor dialogue, and lack of action despite its title. They discuss various scenes, including a recurring mention of a rice cooker and poorly executed shootouts. The group also mentions using an Al transcription service for their podcast. They review some "goofs and gaffes" from IMDb and give their final ratings for the movie. The ratings are surprisingly low:
- Billy Bobby: 9/100
- James Creange: 10/100
- The Wicker Men Pod: 15/100
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello, mess, I'm a lieutenant in the police department. I'm
in the middle of a homicide investigation.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Try to get my prescription.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Please.
Speaker 4 (00:12):
The whole time is standing there with this whom.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Me expression on your face? Have you ever been dragging
to the sidewalk and being.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
To you best blood?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
No man has spelt more blood in God's name than I.
How in the name of Zeus's buttle did you get
out of yourself?
Speaker 4 (00:38):
What you really think? I let myself get killed in
a garbage truck?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Ha?
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Well, I hit in a soup, can roll it all
the way to the city dump.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Because I was made for this, super baby and.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
I have the care.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Oh baby, wow, what is it? Gotta tell your truck
gotta get that chain? It's kill chain? Uh we I
can't wait to see how the AI companion transcribed.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Yeah, where do I see that? Is it just gonna
be at the end?
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Maybe I clicked on the button and it says catch
me up? Was my name mentioned? What are the action
this is like if you're lazy like or something? Is
that the idea? I'm gonna say it? Was my name mentioned?
And it's gonna Wickerman's pod. Oh it thinks my name
is Wickerman pod because that's the that's good. Oh that's
(01:45):
really funny too, it said Billy Bob referred to them
when he asked, is this going to be the first
uh literary transcript?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
See? This is this only for the host?
Speaker 1 (01:58):
I don't know. So I clicked on on the bottom toolbar.
There was a companion, so I clicked on that, and
then it just gave me.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
These options on the side. Oh yeah, okay, I don't.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Know you should be but all right, hey, how do.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
We do the podcast?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah? We started, I will say, but this is this episode,
the last one, the last one when we started with
AI when had Claude do that review?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I know, so I was just looking at our sheet
and I was going to bring this up. I was like,
who the fuck is Claude? I forgot that was our AI.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Guess it was the only thing that made that episode bearable.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I know.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Actually yeah, well yeah, after I forced it to, so.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
I got I turned on closed caption and.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
What the fuck? Why can't I do any of this
the one that started?
Speaker 4 (02:45):
There? You go, you introduced us to this madness.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
And I can't use it. Now. It's probably probably better
for me that I can't be distracting.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Oh yeah, distracting on our show. No. Twenty nineteen was
the year this film came out. October eighteenth. Oh, today's
October tenth, so we're eight days away from the five
year anniversary of the release of Kill Chain.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
These close captures are pretty good. I gotta say, I'm
not seeing it there are they? Like that is if
you were deaf on a zoom call, like you could
totally have captions. Impressive.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
And it's fast too. It's like it's.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Really fast and it's correcting itself. That's amazing. The future
is And I'm done with that because that's going to
be sure. Is now a kitchup yet.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
It has a very long pause and it just skipped
it and it went to James, We're not there yet.
We're not there just yet. I'm also going to hide that.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
This was acted and written by Ken Sanzel Starry Nicholas
Cage of course, as his name is Ranya. I didn't
catch that.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Uh, I did catch that, but yeah, Jim, and.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Then and then Annabelle Acosta as Renata, Enrico call Antoni
as the Old the Old Sniper, Ryan Anchi Sapita as
the very bad Woman, Eddie Martinez Sanchez a Leamy Ballard
as the curious Assassin, Paedri Calvo is the mean Assassin,
(04:39):
and John Bedoya as Miguel Garcia. What a what A?
What a casting name list? Movie is like a neo noir. Uh,
it's supposed to be like a noir detective film about
It's like a told through a series of flashbacks. But
it starts off in the like present with Cage and
(05:01):
he in this bar. I guess in like, is it
like Tijuana or something?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Where were they? I never figure it out. Yeah, and
in Puerto Rico.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
And you know this movie is good because on on
Wikipedia there's not even a plot Summer there's the most
bears of information.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Completely screwed me because I'm trying to jump into this
and say two things real quick. One is, like Hank said,
it's October tenth. I watched this on August fourth. This
was my second time watching it. Much like the first time.
I genuinely don't remember anything about the movie except the
opening scene. He's in a hotel. That's all I remember.
(05:40):
The movie is Enrico Coleoni is in a movie that's
coming out this year, potentially has already come out has
an eight point six on IMDb. It's a comedy horror
thriller called Mother Father, Sister Brother. Frank. I love that.
I can't wait to see that out to my watch list.
(06:00):
So right, those might be my only two thoughts.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, that's perfect, that's the show.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yeah, well, I'll catch you up here real quick, James.
Because it's a very simple it's a it's a it's
a simple story that's very convoluted.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Though, Okay, because I'm let me, let me add this
one other comment too, so that way, it's just let's
just set the scene for what this podcast is going
to be. Is again, I watched this two months ago.
I think AJ watched it last night, Hank, did you
watch it more recently?
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I watched it last night?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
You watched the last night, So you guys know what
this movie is about. I have been trying to find
a plot summary, cannot find it. Went into my notes.
My first note is get that man a Rice Cooker.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
What?
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yes, yes, this is not helpful at all. That's the
old sniper. That's your guy, Mary, mother, Frank. Whatever. Yeah,
he's you're seeing him getting prepared to assassinate someone he's
talking to, like his handler on the phone, okay, and
it opens up with them kind of like, well, first
he's talking to his daughter. He's like, you know, I
love you. I'm so I haven't seen you in years.
Did you get the money? And blah blah blah. They're strange.
(07:03):
And then and then he talks to his handler and
at first you think, oh, sweet guy talking to his daughter,
but then you see him start setting up a sniper
rifle and yeah, and when he calls him, he's like, hey,
you got any ideas of a good rice cooker. I'm
always traveling, I need I need a nice Yeah. Yeah,
that was actually dead on and the handler's like, is
that really what you fucking want me to? Look up?
(07:24):
There's a rice cooker right now. They have a whole
bit about it. It's it's really funny and really great.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Well I just remember it too. I mean, good for
him cashing in that paycheck, because he's in almost the
whole movie. But he's either just sitting in that apartment
or dying out in that apartment. They probably shot his
scenes in about two hours. Correct.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Oh yeah, there's no way he was there more than
a day. Not a chance, And well who knows. But
but yeah, anyways, the whole movie is just, uh, there's
a there's a woman in in Cages. Cage runs a
hotel in this unknown Hispanic town and somewhere assumedly in
(08:00):
the South, and people keep coming in and out of
the hotel trying to track down this lady who's like
the fem fetelle going to the noir thing because she's
trying to escape from an assassin, and the whole thing
it should it should be simple, but it's like Cage
is like to the assassins, like, let me, let me
(08:20):
tell you guys a story.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
You want to hear a story.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
And then one of the like like the younger assassin
out of the pairs, like let's just kill him, let's
just kill him, and the old guy's like, no, I
want to hear his story. I don't know why, just
kill the guy and move on. But they don't. So
so then we flash back and here's the movie. It's
just one guy. It's it's the two assassins that we
talked about are the rice cooker guy and he's supposed
to be killing someone, but then it turns out that
(08:46):
the guy that that his handler actually had an assassination
hit put out on him. But he was such a
good old school assassin. He realized something was wrong, saw
the other assassin and like the rooftop across from him.
The end up killing each other, but he kills the
guy who's supposed to He kills the guy and they
(09:07):
already it's stupid. Yeah, the assassins sent to.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Kill way more exciting than the actual movie.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Oh yeah, because it's not. It's really boring. And the
assassin who kills the guy who's the original assassin, he's
escaping and he goes to this broken car and the
handler he roises the same guy. He's like, yeah, the
diamonds are in the car, is okay? So he gets
the diamonds, but then two police officers show up, and
the police officers, uh, you know, they get on the
fucking ground. What's going on. He's like, hey man, I'm
(09:36):
just looking in a car. Uh, And so they put
him in the back, but for some reason, one of
the police officers sits in the back seat with him,
which I've never heard of. I don't know why. He's
just not sitting in the front seat, but he's back
there with him, and the guy starts to try to.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Bribe he's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
And uh yeah, so the and the guy tries to
bribe the cops and then they both kind of say no,
but they both kind of want the money. And then
he tries to turn them against each other.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
One of the cops they kills him.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah, one of the there's a there's a like an
American cop who like defected to Mexico, and then there's
like a cop from Mexico and and so like the
white guy, he kills the assassin and then the other
police was like what the fuck? And then they kill
each other. Well, then the white cop kills the other cop,
tries to get away, runs to the girl who's the
(10:31):
fim fatel. I think from later there she's trying to
escape from someone. Then it's suddenly just like we're gonna
have a new life, babe. So basically it's following these
people who, because of the original killings, created a kill
chain of events.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Well and against the Cage in a movie called kill Chain.
What I want is I want to follow a character
for ten minutes and that's it for them. I want
them to kill and then get killed, and then whoever
kills them, I want to then follow that character, yes
or I want to see it in like some Momento
style out of order way where you're watching the final
(11:09):
kill all the way back to the first kill. There's
your kill, Chane. I feel like in this movie they
forgot about the kill Chane, like twenty five minutes in.
Am I wrong?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
You're not wrong, because like around that point too, I
was like I get that, I get that this is
what's happening, and that's what's supposed to be happening. But
then it just once it gets to that woman and
when she gets away, because these other guys come in
and up killing the white cop. But when she gets away,
then it's just the rest of it is like following
her in her way to getting to cage until we
(11:39):
get all the way caught up to our cage is
telling the story.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
They basically lose the chain, right, So I feel like
you haven't said a word yet. What you did? Yeh? Sorry?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
I tried to get through that as much as I could.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
No great talking perfect, Hey, I keep talking about nonsense.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
So you're trying to make sense of something that makes
no sense. And like procuring this this plot summery for
James when nobody on IMDb or Wikipedia or the rest
of the Internet could produce such a thing. Yes, because
this movie thinks there's no story, there's no chain, there's
(12:18):
barely any killing.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Wait, can we get the AI transcripts to just upload
the plot that I said, Yeah, the guy the assassin killed,
the assassin killed the other assassin.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
But yeah, your point I have this in my notes
is that there's just it's so boring. There's no chain
and the dialogue is absolutely criminal that you go forty
five minutes without seeing Cage in this movie. I actually
timed it. I haven't turned down.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Well, they did that classic thing where like we have
Cage in the movie and of course he's top build
number one. Uh, and you see him. Okay, here's Cage
for the first five minutes to set the stage. Now
he's going to stay a flashback. But it's not even
like he's narrating it, Like it just cuts to where
the movie probably should have, Like.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
You want to hear a story, and the story takes
a fucking hour long, and it's like, that's not a story,
that's the whole movie.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yeah, and it's an hour thirty eight in a movie.
So by the time we get back to him, there's
about twenty five minutes left in the film, and that's
where you see Cage finally doing stuff and talking. But goddamn, goddamn, god,
damn is a case of the hour thirty eight movie
that felt like a two and a half hour movie.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
I do, yeah, I mean it felt like an eternity. Yeah,
it felt like an eternity.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Page had a beard in this one, and you know, James,
I wish you could remember a j Maybe maybe you
it's fresher for you. Uh. He definitely had it died
black because that was it was a jet black beard.
I'm like, look, this age does not have that jet
black beard.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
That was one of Billy's top comments, So you'd be
happy you mentioned that. He's like, I just cannot deal
with this super unwieldly black beard.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
He looked like it just for men commercial.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, no, literally, and it was filmed at the same quality.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
And so I see on IMDb in trivia, so take
it with a grain of salt. But it says that
he wanted a mustache for this movie and they made
him have a beard, And I almost wonder if because
they made him have a beard, he was like, fuck it,
I'm just gonna die at Jet black and make it
like very distracted.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Yeah, I wonder what you want to give it to him.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I think it's because he was supposed to be playing
like some racist representation of a Hispanic person.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
And then the director was like, no, just have a beard.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yeah, yeah, it's actually it's.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Actually a good thing.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I mean again on IMDb his name is Aranya. So
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
So what what does happen in the end? Does he die?
I can't remember? So he So.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
There was there was the really mean woman and that's
just what she credited as.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah, that's right, and she's.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Trying to kill and I couldn't tell if like she
and the fetel girl were like actually in love because
she kept calling her his girlfriend and saying I love
you and I don't know, but she ends up stabbing her,
but her her goons are like downstairs and Cage had
already killed one of them with poison. And then when
the other two more professional ones show up who actually
(15:24):
had the hit out against him, basically Cage when he
ends his story, it's all this roundabout way that goes
back to when he was like a younger assassin, but
it's the day he walked away because him and Franco
who used to own that bar, who got killed. We
find out from this group of people they walked away
because one of their missions, you know, hey, go kill
(15:47):
these these girls, and they were like ten year old girls,
and so he was like, oh no, not going to
do that. But then it was like, I think it
was the one of the cops who was crooked ended
up being the one to do it, or maybe the
second assassin. It was really hard to tell. At that
point was really over it.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
But I wonder why.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Basically, yeah, it was just Cage's way of being like
because the whole movie, he's kind of playing himself is like,
oh I'm I'm a nobody, I'm no one. But it
turns out he's at the center of all of this
big kill chain that's been going on for you know,
forty eight years, I guess. But he gets the girl,
the girl gets away. I don't think Cage died. I
(16:28):
think Cage lived.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Yeah, the last thing he did was shoot the assassin,
and the.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Right because it ends he kills the assassin, walks out
of the hotel and puts his sunglass it looks like
it's just his glasses, and walks out into the Street
and then I said.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Thank god, so Cage's the girl gets away, Cage lives,
the girl gets away. Yeah, everyone's happy.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
When it ended, I was like, there is a cool
story here, but this was not not the one and
they didn't do it.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Yeah. You know what's sucks is it just is deflating
to So the last two days I've gone to the theaters.
The last two days. I saw The Substance yesterday. I'm
seeing that soon, an excellent movie. I thought I saw
a different Man today, uh with Sebastian Stan I'd never
heard of it until today. I also really like that
(17:20):
it's along the similar line of The Substance, kind of
but different, Hank, I actually think you would really like it.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
I need to. These are both movies, you know, because
I saw Megalopolis and I need a. I need a
I need something to.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
So even Meg, you just named three movies that I
am dying to spend an hour and a half talking
to people anything but and instead we're sitting here talking
about Kilchane and none of us want to talk about it, no,
because because it's so dog shit, Like I don't understand
how a movie can be this bad. I just when
(17:55):
I was watching it, I just remember thinking, I want to,
you know, be doing any thing else right now, pouring
salt directly into my eyeballs. They're watching this movie. You
should be so boring, Like you should a movie that
now I might, I might. I'm talking about it. You
make a movie called Kilchane. That's a cool ass title.
(18:16):
That's like a starting on eighty five points for me
title kill Chane. Yeah, they ruined it.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
And they have a cool poster for it too. It's
like so cool. It's classic kind of you know, straight
to DVD s, but like it could have been one
of the good ones, yes, or at least, and like
there were there were little glimmers throughout that as soon
as I maybe got a point of interest, then someone talked,
and it just reminded me how horribly ritten. Like the
dialogue is so bad. It's like one of those movies
(18:43):
where they just like instead of like talking like normal
people talk, they just sort of say, what's happening? Yeah,
you know, it's it's just like a like I don't
know an example from the movie because I don't care,
but it'd be it'd be like if you're like, you know,
if you're doing a movie about the economy or something,
and someone just goes, the banks are bad because they
take money from a low income.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Fan, you know, like yeah, it's it's like what as
a joke? Yeah, that's what they're Yeah. I have back
to act notes here, and I have very few notes,
but maybe you can dissect these for me, or it
can lead to some conversation. I said, perfect vantage point
from upstairs, and she fucking misses, and then the next one,
(19:24):
then the black dude misses Cage with a shotgun from
five feet away. Yes, to discuss.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
So when Cage is explaining the story and we're all
caught up and you know, they're they're like and he
explains that he's also the person the reason why the
guy wanted Age to be assassinated, so why the assassins
are here in the real first place, And they're like
one of them is like, oh, I don't give a
shit about your sab story. Come on, let's just kill him.
(19:53):
And then Cage like, actually, I wasn't saying the story
to you because the whole time, the girl from the
rafters and that's.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Right, because she doesn't know if she can trust Case.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Exactly because he's he's like writing down the safe code
where he put all the money. And before it was
like trust me, like you could trust me. He's like
I'm not, you know whatever, and that was improving that.
And then to your note from nineteen years ago, Uh,
it is she They don't know that she's there. She
is just a floor above on a balcony, overlooking this
(20:23):
whole discussion.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
There's a pistol glass or something it.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Couldn't be and there's a little hole in it, like
one of those broken. It couldn't be been a better
way to line up a shot. And we've seen her previously.
She knows how to defend herself. The guy is just
standing there openly open target and she in cage like now,
and then she shoots and I mean whifts just like way.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I mean, how way would you be if your cage
You set up this long con.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Three hours explaining this nonsense to these people, done anything
cage she like dives over like the whatever, God damn it. Yeah,
and then yeah, the guy does miss him with the shotgun.
The shotgun, it's obviously, you know, a close range weapon.
They are within i mean three feet of each other
(21:12):
and somehow misses, which it kind of broke physics for
a minute.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
But I don't I don't know if any of the
bullets hit their targets in this high thriller assassin movie.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
No, even the shootout of the car, I have that
note that they're missing each other in a car.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yeah, oh my god, Oh my god, the cops they're
all shootout is all in one car. It could be cool,
It's okay, Like if y'all saw the new the Deadpool
and wolf Reine movie, there's like a sequence when the
two of them were like just going at it and
it's awesome. Yeah, and it could have been. Obviously it's
not you know, powered people. But like you have one
cop that's stuck in the back because obviously the back
(21:49):
of cop cars are locked really tight and has a
cage between them. And then there's the cop in the front,
but not a Nicholas cage mind you, but he comes
later literally, but there's the other cop obviously. I mean
it's a state of a car. I mean, you're right there,
they're just blindly shooting behind and in front of each other.
(22:09):
When one of you just bam, it should be and
it becomes the whole thing. And these are trained shooters, Yeah,
these are killers allegedly, you know, but other than that,
it's a really good movie.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
A J.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Did you take any notes, you have any mental notes?
Speaker 4 (22:39):
I subjected.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
My girlfriend and my cousins to watch this with me,
and I feel terrible about it.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah, that's that's a movie.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
It was so bad that Billy, who was going to
be a guest on our episode, dropped out last minute
because he just doesn't I don't blame him in the
worst movie. I haven't guessed.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
This movie is ship. No one can follow it. Diana
actually brought up a pretty good insight at the very end,
because I was just like, this was the most pointless
movie ever.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
But apparently.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
The whole like they got a signed to murder these
girls that were being trafficked or something, and then he
didn't want to do it, and then they were trying
to make him do it, and he wouldn't do it,
so I got someone else to do it, and then
he began his kill chain of offering everyone in that
(23:43):
like department or production or whatever.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Let me just stop you. Let me just stop you
real quick. When you say he started his kill chain,
don't give it that credit. He just started killing. He started,
he started killing, but.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
He kicked off a new kill chain.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
The chain of killing was all took place before this
movie opens.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
We're seeing we're seeing the very.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
End because he tries to kill ten.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
Year old or seventeen year old daughter that ends up
getting killed, so that goes nuts and gets killed, which
then since Cage off that's right.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Sorry, a J. I apologize. First of all, you're right. Secondly,
Diana's thoughts should not have been interrupted. My apologies.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Yeah, well, anyway, I mean like it would have been
a better movie if it was presented that way, where
it's like, like you see the vengeance, Like we looked
at the synopsis on Amazon Prime before we played it,
and it looked like it was going to be Nicholas
Cage as John Wick kind of thing, but like they
(24:48):
skipped the head of all of the killing until it's
just like the last three people he needs to kill,
and he draws it out like with this story of
the backstory, which is uninteresting and confusing, and it's just that.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
I want to I want to read real quick. I
want to read what you just mentioned, a because it
was on the description I watched on Prime Video last night,
and this is the description of the movie, which makes it.
Oh you see the little I don't know, but I
like it. This is the future podcast baby all audio
us go to the moon. But this is the This
(25:27):
is the storyline that I also read right before watching
and thinking, oh, this might actually be dope. A hotel
room shootout between two assassins kicks off a long night
of bodies falling like dominoes as we follow a chain
of crooked cops, gangsters, hitman, a femme fatale, and an
ex mercenary through a confluence of murder, betrayal, revenge, and redemption.
(25:49):
Where's that movie? Because that sounds awesome.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
If they put that kind of effort of writing the
synopsis into writing the screenplay, it would have been incredible.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Whoever figure out about a movie like this? What I
don't understand is when obviously this is a low budget movie.
You you don't need a budget to do all of
these kills, Like the the easiest thing really is to
(26:21):
actually do a kill chain and even go over the
top with it and maybe make it ridiculous and like
actually fun. If you're gonna make a movie called kill
Chain and you're going to have a low budget, like
why would you choose to go the most boring possible
path and it's a shame.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Yeah, there was some good use of space in the movie.
They had the sets, Yeah, they had the actors. They
they just didn't have maybe the right like I don't
know what there, like like stunt choreographer or violent action
person like because it was the shootouts were so boring.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
They were so boring and and to the point we
keep making is they just kept missing each other. And
I just I guess I just don't get it. I
don't understand how a studio or whoever looks at that script,
if that's what the script was, and says this is
gonna be because even at the bones of it, outside
of the name kill Chane, if I was to read
(27:15):
that script, I'd say, no chance, I'm not making that movie.
That's gonna put.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Sleep, heavy dialogue revisions. If we're going to be doing this,
you know it's.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
Gonna put you to sleep. It's going to put you
in debt.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Well, so like trying to look up like like how
much money Nicholas Cage made on this, Yeah, and we
couldn't find it. The only stats were that this movie
costs three and a half million to make and made
less than thirteen thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Yep, twelve thousand, seven hundred and eighty.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Hair dye of hair dye, and that that's exist.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
That's what I'm saying, Like, you have a three and
a half million dollar budget, just make it fun. It doesn't.
That's the problem is all the same sets and everything.
Just make it fun. That that call that we talked
about with the rice cooker thing, it's kind of coming
back to me that was the most boring scene I've
ever watched in my life. Is too. This is on
(28:14):
a phone, and it's kind of setting something up where
it could be cool with these two assassins.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Things like that have been done plenty times before, but
just done with way more you know, just just just
a more and more charisma from the from the actor,
because you could like the dialogue, especially when it's two
people like being witty between each other, like this old
sniper and the handler guy on the phone. The whole time,
you know, they're just doing the like like hey, the
right cuca, Hey you got to watch off for the thing. Hey,
(28:40):
I've been doing this for years. You know. It's like
they had the classic like you know, back and forth,
but just so poorly written and delivered. It's like, I
see what you want to do. You want to have
the cool banter between the badass old school assassin guy
and the witty c you know type, you know, computery guy.
Yeah yeah, yeah, but like I do you mean Q
(29:00):
from James Bond not in the others, and uh.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Yeah Survivor season forty six.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Actually that is what I meant. But yeah, it's like,
it's just they just weren't there, you know, they It's
just it didn't hit that. Maybe it was someone's first
maybe it was a lot of people's first times or something.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
I don't know. I remember my first time it was
very good, but it was better than that.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Hey, hey, you see, come on, give me a little
rice cooker. What I said said, babe, give me a
little that rice.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Ooh my rice is done. Oh Lucy.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Do you remember how that conversation wrapped up a cooker bit?
Speaker 2 (29:41):
No?
Speaker 1 (29:41):
I remember he called back at one point and was like,
I looked into the rice cook before He's like, fuck
the rice cooker. I gotta figure out what's going on.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
He at first he talked to his handler, and then
he talked to his daughter. Then he talks to the
handler again and he's like, fine, I'll get you the
rice cooker. Then he talks to his daughter again. This
is like it's ten minutes scene about rice. And she's like, well,
why do you want Like do you really eat that
much rice? And he's like, yeah, I'm always on the road,
(30:11):
like a moving from place to place. Rice is easy
and make a lot of rice. She's like, why don't
you just buy rice from a restaurant? You have plenty
of money And he's like, wow, I never thought of that.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
And I put it to bed.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Yeah, what does he say? I could be wrong, but
I think it's.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Such a He's like, well, they get to make many
ones that are better for travel, and she's like what
rice costs? Like nothing, Dad, you could just go to
the store.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
I stay with him, though you have you ever bought
rice from a restaurant?
Speaker 5 (30:46):
I love that?
Speaker 2 (30:47):
And that put it to bed. It doesn't tastes as good.
I think that was a stupid suggestion by the daughter.
You by the time you get well, I'm just saying, like,
getting a container of rice to go not a good idea.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
This is the life of an assassin, I guess it is.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
What does he say to Cage at the end before
Cage kills him. Not at the end, but.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Oh yeah, because keep in mind, the last time we
see this man before we come back to him, he
gets shot about seventeen hundred times through the body, through
the head, through every part of him, and they's just
like and the whole time Cage knew that he was there,
he was fully aware this was happening. And so at
the end of the movie he goes and they know
each other, and the guy is just like bleeding out,
(31:28):
I guess for the last seven hours in the corner
of that same room. Mostly fine though at the end
of the day because he's still there and talking.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Yeah. Total yeah, vest and a very thin mattress, and
everyone knows you can survive one hundred bullets with bulletsroof
vest and a very thin mattress.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Well that's what they're doing for the next John Wick.
It's just gonna be him and all he has is
a a mattress. They called him down mastest.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
That would have been a more interesting movie, just the
man and this mattress. It would this movie have been
better if it was like an hour fifteen. I mean,
I know it would have, because it would have been
less time watching it.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Like it's already so short, which I'm always four. Yeah,
but it's you know our thirty eight great perfect but yeah,
just so, I mean, yeah, it would have been better
because have been shorted, but they could have filled that
time with There's.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Enough interesting stuff, right, it's like your story, there's enough
to make this work. I think it would have been
just as boring if it was an hour fifteen. That's
the point. It's not like there was the scenes were
too long. It was just everything was boring.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Yeah, it just wasn't just wasn't up to snuff as
far as you know, this kind of stuff, which you
know they tried.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
And I mean, no, we're not giving credit. I want
to give it credit.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
Like, yeah, do not support the people who made.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Yeah, I'm sorry, just we're not doing it this one.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
I didn't go to film school, so I shouldn't. I
shouldn't just a minor.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
But what I am most concerned with at this point
is giving this movie too low of a score, because
if I give it really, really low.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
There's other stuff we've watched that made me angry. This
was just boring.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Yeah, it makes it somehow distinctive that like this was
a really bad movie. And it was pleasing whatever, but like, no,
it wasn't. It was just really bad because nothing happened.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
Yeah, it's just gonna be tough.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
You know what's a shame is I'm looking at Ken
Sanzel's IMDb right now. This was the last one I
ever made. That is not the shame. But he produced
and wrote. He produced all of the episodes and wrote
quite a few for Numbers. That that's a very not
good but fun show his Numbers. I don't know if
you guys have ever seen it. I actually really enjoyed
(34:01):
that show. I've recently watched a few episodes. Yeah, it's
like it's actually fun. And so there's something in there
in this guy's brain that he knows how to have
fun with the concept that's interesting, which Numbers is just
then do it for this movie.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
I can tell that this guy had some TV work because.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Like all TV work by the way, that make MOVI.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
That actually makes a lot of sense with this because
there's a lot of moments and I'm just like, well,
especially if y'all remember this or paying attention at all,
but basically, when when right in the beginning, when the
guys show up in Cages saying let me tell you
guys a story, and then it cuts to it's called
the main on ends that's the opening credits, and it
it's like, it looks like a TV show. I've never
(34:43):
seen movie openers like this, where it's just the way
it's presented is it's like Nicholas Cage and it shows
him like it shows all the actors' names as they
do it, which you don't really do that for Yeah,
it was just it was I was like, I feel
like I'm watching a TV show right now. Yeah, and
this as the movie went on, there's a lot of
(35:03):
bits from like I can see where like, okay, one
episode might be the first two people that kill each other,
like how that happens. The second episode is how that
goes to the next Like you could maybe make a
show out of that.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Maybeah yeah, well that would be an actual kill chin.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
You know what sucks too is eating all the way
back to the beginning.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
But so he did do all pretty much all TV,
but he had done two movies and one of the
movies he did is actually a really fun movie called
The Replacement Killers. I don't know if you've ever seen it,
I've heard, but it's in the gum fu genre of movie.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Oh this movie. I saw this forever ago.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
It's so much fun.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Now.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
He was thirteen, so he wasn't one rector and maybe
that's the problem. But he wrote it.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Yeah, and it is.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Uh, it's actually kind of like it could have been
a precursor to this movie. It's a similar vein, not
not the kill Chin part, but it's got those elements. God,
this sucked twenty one years later. You sucked, Ken Senzel
read it at all? You stink?
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Hey, I think Ken needs a win.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
He stinks. Good riddan.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Uh yeah yeah, good, good movie. Good.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
I really don't have anything to discuss more.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
I think okay, perfect because I don't want to talk
anymore about this.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
This experience of last night. I was so disappointed last night. Sorry,
after watching this would that my plan was because I
started like seven thirty or something and I was just
gonna an hour and a half watch it. And then
I've been playing this video game that I've been really
into lately called Satisfactory, and I was just gonna get
really high and go watch it. After this movie, I
(36:53):
was so bored and out of it. I just went
to bed. So there's my review.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
That's awesome. Can I tell you the video game I've
been playing recently, real quick before we get into the
final segments here, please? No, it's a power washing simulator.
A power washing simulator.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Rules you play too.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
That's awesome. It's so much fun. It's so much fun.
Unfortunately I have to delete it from my system to
freehom storage. When I re download it. We should play together, Hank.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Hell yeah, it's like twelve bucks. It's awesome. It is
the best. Yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
So anyway, I would rather be playing power watching. Power
washing simulator is what I'd rather be doing.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah, all right, let's hear some goofs and gaffs and the.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Anyhols no gorules, but there is gone area, at least
from the man reading you. These goofs and gaffs are
so all right, So you are not going to believe
how interesting the goofs and gas are. This week, we'll
start with the factual errors we had. Five people found
this helpful, eight people found this not helpful, in the
(38:15):
seventy which again I don't know why IMDb changed it
to helpful or not helpful. None of these things are
helpful and they don't help, so their likes and dislikes
five likes, eight dislikes. In the seventy first minute, there's
a reference to blood diamonds from Cameroon. Diamonds from that
country are not considered deserving of the term, unlike those
(38:35):
mine during recent civil wars in Liberia, Angola, Ivory Coast,
Sierra Sierra Leone, et cetera.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Like your help, like it, not helpful?
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Not help?
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Find that helpful?
Speaker 4 (38:48):
What are you wasting our time with the great?
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Well, maybe you'll like this one. In the seventy fifth minute,
they say suffice it to say, a common mistake in
spin on the expression suffice to.
Speaker 5 (39:00):
Say, wow, not helpful. Wow, that's the tenth, the tenth.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
That's like that Rick and Morty episode. The Morty's mind
blowers and he's like, don't take things for granted, He's
greg can you've been saying granite this whole time?
Speaker 2 (39:21):
He wipes his brain. All right, let me give you
one more. I think you'll like this one.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
There are times of charming.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Five people found this helpful not helpful at eleven fifty
and in several subsequent shots. Markham, whoever that is, looks
out in the dark from several windows in the room.
A light within the room he's in lights up the
white dress shirt he is wearing. He is extremely visible
from the exterior of the building. Any competent shooter would
never allow himself to be so easily seen under any circumstances,
(39:52):
and the error is all the more greater when he
remains will let after he learns he is being targeted,
you know, helpful.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
That is actually helpful, and too.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I'm gonna say helpful and then follow up with a question,
why does this guy know that?
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Yeah, he's probably a killer himself. I'll report him.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
Yeah, give him a help so he has the boost
and confidence, and then let's get him reported.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
I can't report goose. That's a shame. I'm gonna actually
I'm gonna email. I'm gonna email this STYMBB. Help. You'll
get it sorted, no problem, Okay, great.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
Hey guys, I'm I'm no sniper. And that was very apparent.
Keeps on going in and out of the room, and
like you're watching this guy. He's paranoid and panicked, and
he's like going around, you know, two different areas of
the window and looking out and setting up his gun
and everything, and like they do shots from the other
(40:54):
roof at the outside of his building and there are
the lights are all on.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
He might as well just wear a fucking orange reflective vest. Yes,
you know.
Speaker 4 (41:04):
Yeah, the best one was.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
The Remember he gets the he gets a prostitute up
there with him, and she thinks, you know, it's for sex,
but he's like, no, no, no, take your clothes off
for ten like it's sex, but go stand it from
the window. Do you see a car out there? Give
me info? And the second she's like, it's not there,
he just runs to the window and looks out.
Speaker 2 (41:23):
Yes. Yeah, it's amazing he stayed alive as long as
he did.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Yeah. What was really funny to me is like, offhand,
before we find out too too much about his you know,
playing all this, uh you know he's the prostitute, she's like,
she's leading, so you really don't want to have sex
and he goes not since my daughter was fourteen, Like
what does that mean? Up until that it was fine?
Speaker 2 (41:49):
But pedophile?
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Yeah, who knows? Man the old sniper.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Rice, he just wants some let's wrap this is that?
Speaker 4 (42:04):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Okay? Thank Christ? Yeah? Well that's uh, that's kill chain.
Let's move into a little segment I like to call
final thoughts hand ratings. Uh, a, j let's start with you. Uh,
let's uh, what's your what's your? What's up? What's up?
Speaker 2 (42:25):
What is this is like jerk.
Speaker 4 (42:30):
Broken tradition.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
I'm all flibulated because I usually have James's final thoughts.
But I do have some some final thoughts about this movie.
Proceed with your rating, Yeah, exactly, So I'm gonna read this.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Maybe maybe I should have got a chance first look
at that these zoom reactions. Now, you never know when
you update your software what you're gonna get.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
Does it ever leave?
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (43:19):
Just?
Speaker 4 (43:22):
Don't you dare clip my dead air out either?
Speaker 2 (43:26):
I know I love it and and it's the first
time in history that we didn't talk through your final thoughts.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
That's true, nor did he? All right, wait, what was
your rating?
Speaker 3 (43:41):
Nine?
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Nine?
Speaker 4 (43:43):
Nine?
Speaker 1 (43:44):
All right? Uh, Jimmy, how about you? What are your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (43:50):
And you're just going off of that. I'm tempted to
give it a nine an e I n and decline
a rating because I hated this.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Review.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Now I will say this, and so yeah, I think
I'm gonna give you. Like I said earlier, I was
gonna give this eighty five based off of the title alone. Unfortunately,
due to the content of the film, I'm gonna have
(44:22):
to take seventy five points away. I will give this
ten cages out of one hundred.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Okay, okay, ten and nine. I don't want to break
the chain here or anything, but you know, you guys
know me, and I always try to give a little
bit more to the movies that are trying and the
little guys and the indie films on the crap. So
for me, I thought, and so that's why I meant
(44:48):
to go with the fifteen.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Sorry, what was this fifteen? All right? So with with
AJ's nine ten and Hanks fifteen. Wait.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
I love that. I love that we do that for
the first time ever. On the episode that we also
had the AI transcribe every word that we say.
Speaker 4 (45:15):
Did you get that stenography?
Speaker 2 (45:20):
So that puts that movie out an eleven out of
one hundred, which puts it eighty third on our list,
right behind Outcast and Bangkok Dangerous, which got twelves, and Inconceivable,
which we gave it ten. I have no idea remember.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
That one, but I'm sure I made the joke that
it's Inconceivable.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Yes, I'm positive you said that many times. Yes, that's
that's that we are. We're actually two movies away from
finishing up our initial list from where where we started. Wow,
so the movies are out when we started. We're we're
two away from finishing that. Uh, and then after that,
I think we've got like eighteen to go.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
But Inconceivable was the one.
Speaker 3 (46:11):
Wait no, oh, yeah, so is jiu Jitsu the first
movie that came out after we'd started the pod?
Speaker 2 (46:21):
I think, So, I'm trying to look that up right now,
but yeah, I'm pretty sure it's Jiu Jitsu because the
last one is Grand Isle, which I've actually they have
never even heard of.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
It's it's that is a that is a part. It's
near New Orleans. It is a place that I grew
up going to many many times. And I've yet to
watch the film, and so I'm quite quite looking forward
to that because from what I recall from the trailer
nine hundred years ago, Cage is like full Ratty long hair,
gross mode.
Speaker 4 (46:51):
So nice. So there.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
Yeah, so there's been sixteen movies that have come out
since then, and yeah, it starts with jiu Jitsu. So yeah,
we got eighteen movies Left Boils and then until He
puts out More.
Speaker 1 (47:02):
But was the one where the the mom moved in
with the other mom but slowly tried to take over
the family.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
But you can tell something, Hank, you don't give a
ship even though.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
I remember it, it's I've never experienced this feeling in
my life.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
I have no idea what you're talking about. What are
you talking about? A mom moved in and tried to
take control.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
It's nuts, it's nuts.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
Uh, well, oh with Gina Gersha, that's right, I actually do. Yeah,
I actually do remember this.
Speaker 1 (47:36):
Yeah, he's talking about my brain is fucking broken right now.
Speaker 2 (47:40):
And Nikki Whalen from from taking.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
Great, great film, I prefer stolen.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
Not from taking My apologies.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
You're looking good. Well, what the freaking heck are we
watch it on the next one, James.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Yeah, So next week we've got a caveman and a
dinosaur bond over shared tragedy and work together to survive
in a perilous prehistoric world. Sorry, that's actually the Primal
TV series that came out in twenty nineteen. Ah you. Instead, instead,
what we have.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
That sounds it sounds so co man.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Instead, we have the primal movie that came out in
twenty nineteen. Frank's Caught Wildlife in Brazil. Wait, Frank's Caught
Wildlife in the Brazilian Jungle include I NCL period not
full including I've never seen.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
A worse What are you saying? I'm trying to.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
Read the tagline Rex Caught Wildlife in the Brazilian Jungle
include include whatever ironcl period A four hundred pounds white jaguar.
He ships it on the same ship as an arrested assassin.
The assassin breaks free and frees the animals.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
I just put it up and looking at this this
text is like, Uh.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
It's insane. We have done of these. I've never seen
a movie written like that before.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
Look at his outfit.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
Though it sounds badass, it's sounds like a lot of fun.
From what I remember. This movie sucks, but Michael Imperioli
is in it, and I just saw him on Broadway
any Rock, So okay, let's say, uh, it might be
a fun week, it might be fun next time. I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
All we can say is it's it's at least likely
that it'll be more interesting than kill Chane.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
Yeah, sure, yeah, it's likely I'll give you.
Speaker 1 (49:42):
That eleven eleven. Well, that's uh, it's another another endearing
episode of the Wickerman. Thanks for listening to the Wickermen.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
Yeah, honestly, I I really hope that nobody listens to this.
This was bad. This movie was bad, This episode was bad.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
At least, know what our ratio of like episodes that
we say no one should ever listen to to they should,
because I'm starting to think it's teetering in the path
of no one should listen to about seventy percent of
our show.
Speaker 2 (50:16):
I disagree. I think we put out about seventy five
to eighty percent good episodes where we're maybe even closer
than eighty five to ninety percent where we're having fun, yeah,
conversations good. Then there's just ten to fifteen percent mostly.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
I guess there's that's the difference must saying don't watch
the movie versus yes, exactly to the posactly because.
Speaker 2 (50:38):
Agent, you're gonna have to do some thinking for the
next one, because your number three highlight spotlight movies coming up,
So you're gonna have to do some thinking on that.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
You've got some big shoes to fill. Yeah, So from
whatever our oh it is missiles toime mixed up.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
Oh, and I'm not watching that porno that you were in.
Speaker 1 (50:57):
I haven't seen it. So if that's the one, I
guess I have to I have to if I.
Speaker 4 (51:01):
Asked you to, Oh, Mad Maccine.
Speaker 2 (51:04):
I'm not watching it, so I think it's something.
Speaker 4 (51:07):
That I don't even know where that DVD is.
Speaker 2 (51:10):
Mad Maxine.
Speaker 4 (51:12):
You guys even have DVD players.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
I do.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
Yeah, and I have a VHS v c R. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (51:19):
Incredible.
Speaker 1 (51:20):
Okay, Well that's the end of the episode. See see
on the next one. Yep, uh like subscribe. Follow our Patreon,
check out our our twitch streams. Check on our YouTube
live streams. Check out our tic talk us on. Check
(51:47):
out our Instagram, check out our Facebook group. LinkedIn check
out our LinkedIn account.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Because this is just check out.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Check out, uh check you check you on the right.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
In the middle of a rice cooker conversation.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
I need my rice. I need my rice. It's over it.
Speaker 4 (52:10):
It is out of our misery.
Hello, mess, I'm a lieutenant in the police department. I'm
in the middle of a homicide investigation.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Try to get my prescription.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Please.
Speaker 4 (00:12):
The whole time is standing there with this whom.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Me expression on your face? Have you ever been dragging
to the sidewalk and being.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
To you best blood?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
No man has spelt more blood in God's name than I.
How in the name of Zeus's buttle did you get
out of yourself?
Speaker 4 (00:38):
What you really think? I let myself get killed in
a garbage truck?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Ha?
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Well, I hit in a soup, can roll it all
the way to the city dump.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Because I was made for this, super baby and.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
I have the care.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Oh baby, wow, what is it? Gotta tell your truck
gotta get that chain? It's kill chain? Uh we I
can't wait to see how the AI companion transcribed.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Yeah, where do I see that? Is it just gonna
be at the end?
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Maybe I clicked on the button and it says catch
me up? Was my name mentioned? What are the action
this is like if you're lazy like or something? Is
that the idea? I'm gonna say it? Was my name mentioned?
And it's gonna Wickerman's pod. Oh it thinks my name
is Wickerman pod because that's the that's good. Oh that's
(01:45):
really funny too, it said Billy Bob referred to them
when he asked, is this going to be the first
uh literary transcript?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
See? This is this only for the host?
Speaker 1 (01:58):
I don't know. So I clicked on on the bottom toolbar.
There was a companion, so I clicked on that, and
then it just gave me.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
These options on the side. Oh yeah, okay, I don't.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Know you should be but all right, hey, how do.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
We do the podcast?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah? We started, I will say, but this is this episode,
the last one, the last one when we started with
AI when had Claude do that review?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I know, so I was just looking at our sheet
and I was going to bring this up. I was like,
who the fuck is Claude? I forgot that was our AI.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Guess it was the only thing that made that episode bearable.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I know.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Actually yeah, well yeah, after I forced it to, so.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
I got I turned on closed caption and.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
What the fuck? Why can't I do any of this
the one that started?
Speaker 4 (02:45):
There? You go, you introduced us to this madness.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
And I can't use it. Now. It's probably probably better
for me that I can't be distracting.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Oh yeah, distracting on our show. No. Twenty nineteen was
the year this film came out. October eighteenth. Oh, today's
October tenth, so we're eight days away from the five
year anniversary of the release of Kill Chain.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
These close captures are pretty good. I gotta say, I'm
not seeing it there are they? Like that is if
you were deaf on a zoom call, like you could
totally have captions. Impressive.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
And it's fast too. It's like it's.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Really fast and it's correcting itself. That's amazing. The future
is And I'm done with that because that's going to
be sure. Is now a kitchup yet.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
It has a very long pause and it just skipped
it and it went to James, We're not there yet.
We're not there just yet. I'm also going to hide that.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
This was acted and written by Ken Sanzel Starry Nicholas
Cage of course, as his name is Ranya. I didn't
catch that.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Uh, I did catch that, but yeah, Jim, and.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Then and then Annabelle Acosta as Renata, Enrico call Antoni
as the Old the Old Sniper, Ryan Anchi Sapita as
the very bad Woman, Eddie Martinez Sanchez a Leamy Ballard
as the curious Assassin, Paedri Calvo is the mean Assassin,
(04:39):
and John Bedoya as Miguel Garcia. What a what A?
What a casting name list? Movie is like a neo noir. Uh,
it's supposed to be like a noir detective film about
It's like a told through a series of flashbacks. But
it starts off in the like present with Cage and
(05:01):
he in this bar. I guess in like, is it
like Tijuana or something?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Where were they? I never figure it out. Yeah, and
in Puerto Rico.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
And you know this movie is good because on on
Wikipedia there's not even a plot Summer there's the most
bears of information.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Completely screwed me because I'm trying to jump into this
and say two things real quick. One is, like Hank said,
it's October tenth. I watched this on August fourth. This
was my second time watching it. Much like the first time.
I genuinely don't remember anything about the movie except the
opening scene. He's in a hotel. That's all I remember.
(05:40):
The movie is Enrico Coleoni is in a movie that's
coming out this year, potentially has already come out has
an eight point six on IMDb. It's a comedy horror
thriller called Mother Father, Sister Brother. Frank. I love that.
I can't wait to see that out to my watch list.
(06:00):
So right, those might be my only two thoughts.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, that's perfect, that's the show.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yeah, well, I'll catch you up here real quick, James.
Because it's a very simple it's a it's a it's
a simple story that's very convoluted.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Though, Okay, because I'm let me, let me add this
one other comment too, so that way, it's just let's
just set the scene for what this podcast is going
to be. Is again, I watched this two months ago.
I think AJ watched it last night, Hank, did you
watch it more recently?
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I watched it last night?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
You watched the last night, So you guys know what
this movie is about. I have been trying to find
a plot summary, cannot find it. Went into my notes.
My first note is get that man a Rice Cooker.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
What?
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yes, yes, this is not helpful at all. That's the
old sniper. That's your guy, Mary, mother, Frank. Whatever. Yeah,
he's you're seeing him getting prepared to assassinate someone he's
talking to, like his handler on the phone, okay, and
it opens up with them kind of like, well, first
he's talking to his daughter. He's like, you know, I
love you. I'm so I haven't seen you in years.
Did you get the money? And blah blah blah. They're strange.
(07:03):
And then and then he talks to his handler and
at first you think, oh, sweet guy talking to his daughter,
but then you see him start setting up a sniper
rifle and yeah, and when he calls him, he's like, hey,
you got any ideas of a good rice cooker. I'm
always traveling, I need I need a nice Yeah. Yeah,
that was actually dead on and the handler's like, is
that really what you fucking want me to? Look up?
(07:24):
There's a rice cooker right now. They have a whole
bit about it. It's it's really funny and really great.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Well I just remember it too. I mean, good for
him cashing in that paycheck, because he's in almost the
whole movie. But he's either just sitting in that apartment
or dying out in that apartment. They probably shot his
scenes in about two hours. Correct.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Oh yeah, there's no way he was there more than
a day. Not a chance, And well who knows. But
but yeah, anyways, the whole movie is just, uh, there's
a there's a woman in in Cages. Cage runs a
hotel in this unknown Hispanic town and somewhere assumedly in
(08:00):
the South, and people keep coming in and out of
the hotel trying to track down this lady who's like
the fem fetelle going to the noir thing because she's
trying to escape from an assassin, and the whole thing
it should it should be simple, but it's like Cage
is like to the assassins, like, let me, let me
(08:20):
tell you guys a story.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
You want to hear a story.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
And then one of the like like the younger assassin
out of the pairs, like let's just kill him, let's
just kill him, and the old guy's like, no, I
want to hear his story. I don't know why, just
kill the guy and move on. But they don't. So
so then we flash back and here's the movie. It's
just one guy. It's it's the two assassins that we
talked about are the rice cooker guy and he's supposed
to be killing someone, but then it turns out that
(08:46):
the guy that that his handler actually had an assassination
hit put out on him. But he was such a
good old school assassin. He realized something was wrong, saw
the other assassin and like the rooftop across from him.
The end up killing each other, but he kills the
guy who's supposed to He kills the guy and they
(09:07):
already it's stupid. Yeah, the assassins sent to.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Kill way more exciting than the actual movie.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Oh yeah, because it's not. It's really boring. And the
assassin who kills the guy who's the original assassin, he's
escaping and he goes to this broken car and the
handler he roises the same guy. He's like, yeah, the
diamonds are in the car, is okay? So he gets
the diamonds, but then two police officers show up, and
the police officers, uh, you know, they get on the
fucking ground. What's going on. He's like, hey man, I'm
(09:36):
just looking in a car. Uh, And so they put
him in the back, but for some reason, one of
the police officers sits in the back seat with him,
which I've never heard of. I don't know why. He's
just not sitting in the front seat, but he's back
there with him, and the guy starts to try to.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Bribe he's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
And uh yeah, so the and the guy tries to
bribe the cops and then they both kind of say no,
but they both kind of want the money. And then
he tries to turn them against each other.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
One of the cops they kills him.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah, one of the there's a there's a like an
American cop who like defected to Mexico, and then there's
like a cop from Mexico and and so like the
white guy, he kills the assassin and then the other
police was like what the fuck? And then they kill
each other. Well, then the white cop kills the other cop,
tries to get away, runs to the girl who's the
(10:31):
fim fatel. I think from later there she's trying to
escape from someone. Then it's suddenly just like we're gonna
have a new life, babe. So basically it's following these
people who, because of the original killings, created a kill
chain of events.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Well and against the Cage in a movie called kill Chain.
What I want is I want to follow a character
for ten minutes and that's it for them. I want
them to kill and then get killed, and then whoever
kills them, I want to then follow that character, yes
or I want to see it in like some Momento
style out of order way where you're watching the final
(11:09):
kill all the way back to the first kill. There's
your kill, Chane. I feel like in this movie they
forgot about the kill Chane, like twenty five minutes in.
Am I wrong?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
You're not wrong, because like around that point too, I
was like I get that, I get that this is
what's happening, and that's what's supposed to be happening. But
then it just once it gets to that woman and
when she gets away, because these other guys come in
and up killing the white cop. But when she gets away,
then it's just the rest of it is like following
her in her way to getting to cage until we
(11:39):
get all the way caught up to our cage is
telling the story.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
They basically lose the chain, right, So I feel like
you haven't said a word yet. What you did? Yeh? Sorry?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
I tried to get through that as much as I could.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
No great talking perfect, Hey, I keep talking about nonsense.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
So you're trying to make sense of something that makes
no sense. And like procuring this this plot summery for
James when nobody on IMDb or Wikipedia or the rest
of the Internet could produce such a thing. Yes, because
this movie thinks there's no story, there's no chain, there's
(12:18):
barely any killing.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Wait, can we get the AI transcripts to just upload
the plot that I said, Yeah, the guy the assassin killed,
the assassin killed the other assassin.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
But yeah, your point I have this in my notes
is that there's just it's so boring. There's no chain
and the dialogue is absolutely criminal that you go forty
five minutes without seeing Cage in this movie. I actually
timed it. I haven't turned down.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Well, they did that classic thing where like we have
Cage in the movie and of course he's top build
number one. Uh, and you see him. Okay, here's Cage
for the first five minutes to set the stage. Now
he's going to stay a flashback. But it's not even
like he's narrating it, Like it just cuts to where
the movie probably should have, Like.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
You want to hear a story, and the story takes
a fucking hour long, and it's like, that's not a story,
that's the whole movie.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yeah, and it's an hour thirty eight in a movie.
So by the time we get back to him, there's
about twenty five minutes left in the film, and that's
where you see Cage finally doing stuff and talking. But goddamn, goddamn, god,
damn is a case of the hour thirty eight movie
that felt like a two and a half hour movie.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
I do, yeah, I mean it felt like an eternity. Yeah,
it felt like an eternity.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Page had a beard in this one, and you know, James,
I wish you could remember a j Maybe maybe you
it's fresher for you. Uh. He definitely had it died
black because that was it was a jet black beard.
I'm like, look, this age does not have that jet
black beard.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
That was one of Billy's top comments, So you'd be
happy you mentioned that. He's like, I just cannot deal
with this super unwieldly black beard.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
He looked like it just for men commercial.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, no, literally, and it was filmed at the same quality.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
And so I see on IMDb in trivia, so take
it with a grain of salt. But it says that
he wanted a mustache for this movie and they made
him have a beard, And I almost wonder if because
they made him have a beard, he was like, fuck it,
I'm just gonna die at Jet black and make it
like very distracted.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Yeah, I wonder what you want to give it to him.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I think it's because he was supposed to be playing
like some racist representation of a Hispanic person.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
And then the director was like, no, just have a beard.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yeah, yeah, it's actually it's.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Actually a good thing.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I mean again on IMDb his name is Aranya. So
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
So what what does happen in the end? Does he die?
I can't remember? So he So.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
There was there was the really mean woman and that's
just what she credited as.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah, that's right, and she's.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Trying to kill and I couldn't tell if like she
and the fetel girl were like actually in love because
she kept calling her his girlfriend and saying I love
you and I don't know, but she ends up stabbing her,
but her her goons are like downstairs and Cage had
already killed one of them with poison. And then when
the other two more professional ones show up who actually
(15:24):
had the hit out against him, basically Cage when he
ends his story, it's all this roundabout way that goes
back to when he was like a younger assassin, but
it's the day he walked away because him and Franco
who used to own that bar, who got killed. We
find out from this group of people they walked away
because one of their missions, you know, hey, go kill
(15:47):
these these girls, and they were like ten year old girls,
and so he was like, oh no, not going to
do that. But then it was like, I think it
was the one of the cops who was crooked ended
up being the one to do it, or maybe the
second assassin. It was really hard to tell. At that
point was really over it.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
But I wonder why.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Basically, yeah, it was just Cage's way of being like
because the whole movie, he's kind of playing himself is like,
oh I'm I'm a nobody, I'm no one. But it
turns out he's at the center of all of this
big kill chain that's been going on for you know,
forty eight years, I guess. But he gets the girl,
the girl gets away. I don't think Cage died. I
(16:28):
think Cage lived.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Yeah, the last thing he did was shoot the assassin,
and the.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Right because it ends he kills the assassin, walks out
of the hotel and puts his sunglass it looks like
it's just his glasses, and walks out into the Street
and then I said.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Thank god, so Cage's the girl gets away, Cage lives,
the girl gets away. Yeah, everyone's happy.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
When it ended, I was like, there is a cool
story here, but this was not not the one and
they didn't do it.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Yeah. You know what's sucks is it just is deflating
to So the last two days I've gone to the theaters.
The last two days. I saw The Substance yesterday. I'm
seeing that soon, an excellent movie. I thought I saw
a different Man today, uh with Sebastian Stan I'd never
heard of it until today. I also really like that
(17:20):
it's along the similar line of The Substance, kind of
but different, Hank, I actually think you would really like it.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
I need to. These are both movies, you know, because
I saw Megalopolis and I need a. I need a
I need something to.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
So even Meg, you just named three movies that I
am dying to spend an hour and a half talking
to people anything but and instead we're sitting here talking
about Kilchane and none of us want to talk about it, no,
because because it's so dog shit, Like I don't understand
how a movie can be this bad. I just when
(17:55):
I was watching it, I just remember thinking, I want to,
you know, be doing any thing else right now, pouring
salt directly into my eyeballs. They're watching this movie. You
should be so boring, Like you should a movie that
now I might, I might. I'm talking about it. You
make a movie called Kilchane. That's a cool ass title.
(18:16):
That's like a starting on eighty five points for me
title kill Chane. Yeah, they ruined it.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
And they have a cool poster for it too. It's
like so cool. It's classic kind of you know, straight
to DVD s, but like it could have been one
of the good ones, yes, or at least, and like
there were there were little glimmers throughout that as soon
as I maybe got a point of interest, then someone talked,
and it just reminded me how horribly ritten. Like the
dialogue is so bad. It's like one of those movies
(18:43):
where they just like instead of like talking like normal
people talk, they just sort of say, what's happening? Yeah,
you know, it's it's just like a like I don't
know an example from the movie because I don't care,
but it'd be it'd be like if you're like, you know,
if you're doing a movie about the economy or something,
and someone just goes, the banks are bad because they
take money from a low income.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Fan, you know, like yeah, it's it's like what as
a joke? Yeah, that's what they're Yeah. I have back
to act notes here, and I have very few notes,
but maybe you can dissect these for me, or it
can lead to some conversation. I said, perfect vantage point
from upstairs, and she fucking misses, and then the next one,
(19:24):
then the black dude misses Cage with a shotgun from
five feet away. Yes, to discuss.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
So when Cage is explaining the story and we're all
caught up and you know, they're they're like and he
explains that he's also the person the reason why the
guy wanted Age to be assassinated, so why the assassins
are here in the real first place, And they're like
one of them is like, oh, I don't give a
shit about your sab story. Come on, let's just kill him.
(19:53):
And then Cage like, actually, I wasn't saying the story
to you because the whole time, the girl from the
rafters and that's.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Right, because she doesn't know if she can trust Case.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Exactly because he's he's like writing down the safe code
where he put all the money. And before it was
like trust me, like you could trust me. He's like
I'm not, you know whatever, and that was improving that.
And then to your note from nineteen years ago, Uh,
it is she They don't know that she's there. She
is just a floor above on a balcony, overlooking this
(20:23):
whole discussion.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
There's a pistol glass or something it.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Couldn't be and there's a little hole in it, like
one of those broken. It couldn't be been a better
way to line up a shot. And we've seen her previously.
She knows how to defend herself. The guy is just
standing there openly open target and she in cage like now,
and then she shoots and I mean whifts just like way.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I mean, how way would you be if your cage
You set up this long con.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Three hours explaining this nonsense to these people, done anything
cage she like dives over like the whatever, God damn it. Yeah,
and then yeah, the guy does miss him with the shotgun.
The shotgun, it's obviously, you know, a close range weapon.
They are within i mean three feet of each other
(21:12):
and somehow misses, which it kind of broke physics for
a minute.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
But I don't I don't know if any of the
bullets hit their targets in this high thriller assassin movie.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
No, even the shootout of the car, I have that
note that they're missing each other in a car.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yeah, oh my god, Oh my god, the cops they're
all shootout is all in one car. It could be cool,
It's okay, Like if y'all saw the new the Deadpool
and wolf Reine movie, there's like a sequence when the
two of them were like just going at it and
it's awesome. Yeah, and it could have been. Obviously it's
not you know, powered people. But like you have one
cop that's stuck in the back because obviously the back
(21:49):
of cop cars are locked really tight and has a
cage between them. And then there's the cop in the front,
but not a Nicholas cage mind you, but he comes
later literally, but there's the other cop obviously. I mean
it's a state of a car. I mean, you're right there,
they're just blindly shooting behind and in front of each other.
(22:09):
When one of you just bam, it should be and
it becomes the whole thing. And these are trained shooters, Yeah,
these are killers allegedly, you know, but other than that,
it's a really good movie.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
A J.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Did you take any notes, you have any mental notes?
Speaker 4 (22:39):
I subjected.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
My girlfriend and my cousins to watch this with me,
and I feel terrible about it.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah, that's that's a movie.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
It was so bad that Billy, who was going to
be a guest on our episode, dropped out last minute
because he just doesn't I don't blame him in the
worst movie. I haven't guessed.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
This movie is ship. No one can follow it. Diana
actually brought up a pretty good insight at the very end,
because I was just like, this was the most pointless
movie ever.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
But apparently.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
The whole like they got a signed to murder these
girls that were being trafficked or something, and then he
didn't want to do it, and then they were trying
to make him do it, and he wouldn't do it,
so I got someone else to do it, and then
he began his kill chain of offering everyone in that
(23:43):
like department or production or whatever.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Let me just stop you. Let me just stop you
real quick. When you say he started his kill chain,
don't give it that credit. He just started killing. He started,
he started killing, but.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
He kicked off a new kill chain.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
The chain of killing was all took place before this
movie opens.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
We're seeing we're seeing the very.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
End because he tries to kill ten.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
Year old or seventeen year old daughter that ends up
getting killed, so that goes nuts and gets killed, which
then since Cage off that's right.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Sorry, a J. I apologize. First of all, you're right. Secondly,
Diana's thoughts should not have been interrupted. My apologies.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Yeah, well, anyway, I mean like it would have been
a better movie if it was presented that way, where
it's like, like you see the vengeance, Like we looked
at the synopsis on Amazon Prime before we played it,
and it looked like it was going to be Nicholas
Cage as John Wick kind of thing, but like they
(24:48):
skipped the head of all of the killing until it's
just like the last three people he needs to kill,
and he draws it out like with this story of
the backstory, which is uninteresting and confusing, and it's just that.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
I want to I want to read real quick. I
want to read what you just mentioned, a because it
was on the description I watched on Prime Video last night,
and this is the description of the movie, which makes it.
Oh you see the little I don't know, but I
like it. This is the future podcast baby all audio
us go to the moon. But this is the This
(25:27):
is the storyline that I also read right before watching
and thinking, oh, this might actually be dope. A hotel
room shootout between two assassins kicks off a long night
of bodies falling like dominoes as we follow a chain
of crooked cops, gangsters, hitman, a femme fatale, and an
ex mercenary through a confluence of murder, betrayal, revenge, and redemption.
(25:49):
Where's that movie? Because that sounds awesome.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
If they put that kind of effort of writing the
synopsis into writing the screenplay, it would have been incredible.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Whoever figure out about a movie like this? What I
don't understand is when obviously this is a low budget movie.
You you don't need a budget to do all of
these kills, Like the the easiest thing really is to
(26:21):
actually do a kill chain and even go over the
top with it and maybe make it ridiculous and like
actually fun. If you're gonna make a movie called kill
Chain and you're going to have a low budget, like
why would you choose to go the most boring possible
path and it's a shame.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Yeah, there was some good use of space in the movie.
They had the sets, Yeah, they had the actors. They
they just didn't have maybe the right like I don't
know what there, like like stunt choreographer or violent action
person like because it was the shootouts were so boring.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
They were so boring and and to the point we
keep making is they just kept missing each other. And
I just I guess I just don't get it. I
don't understand how a studio or whoever looks at that script,
if that's what the script was, and says this is
gonna be because even at the bones of it, outside
of the name kill Chane, if I was to read
(27:15):
that script, I'd say, no chance, I'm not making that movie.
That's gonna put.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Sleep, heavy dialogue revisions. If we're going to be doing this,
you know it's.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
Gonna put you to sleep. It's going to put you
in debt.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Well, so like trying to look up like like how
much money Nicholas Cage made on this, Yeah, and we
couldn't find it. The only stats were that this movie
costs three and a half million to make and made
less than thirteen thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Yep, twelve thousand, seven hundred and eighty.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Hair dye of hair dye, and that that's exist.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
That's what I'm saying, Like, you have a three and
a half million dollar budget, just make it fun. It doesn't.
That's the problem is all the same sets and everything.
Just make it fun. That that call that we talked
about with the rice cooker thing, it's kind of coming
back to me that was the most boring scene I've
ever watched in my life. Is too. This is on
(28:14):
a phone, and it's kind of setting something up where
it could be cool with these two assassins.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Things like that have been done plenty times before, but
just done with way more you know, just just just
a more and more charisma from the from the actor,
because you could like the dialogue, especially when it's two
people like being witty between each other, like this old
sniper and the handler guy on the phone. The whole time,
you know, they're just doing the like like hey, the
right cuca, Hey you got to watch off for the thing. Hey,
(28:40):
I've been doing this for years. You know. It's like
they had the classic like you know, back and forth,
but just so poorly written and delivered. It's like, I
see what you want to do. You want to have
the cool banter between the badass old school assassin guy
and the witty c you know type, you know, computery guy.
Yeah yeah, yeah, but like I do you mean Q
(29:00):
from James Bond not in the others, and uh.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Yeah Survivor season forty six.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Actually that is what I meant. But yeah, it's like,
it's just they just weren't there, you know, they It's
just it didn't hit that. Maybe it was someone's first
maybe it was a lot of people's first times or something.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
I don't know. I remember my first time it was
very good, but it was better than that.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Hey, hey, you see, come on, give me a little
rice cooker. What I said said, babe, give me a
little that rice.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Ooh my rice is done. Oh Lucy.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Do you remember how that conversation wrapped up a cooker bit?
Speaker 2 (29:41):
No?
Speaker 1 (29:41):
I remember he called back at one point and was like,
I looked into the rice cook before He's like, fuck
the rice cooker. I gotta figure out what's going on.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
He at first he talked to his handler, and then
he talked to his daughter. Then he talks to the
handler again and he's like, fine, I'll get you the
rice cooker. Then he talks to his daughter again. This
is like it's ten minutes scene about rice. And she's like, well,
why do you want Like do you really eat that
much rice? And he's like, yeah, I'm always on the road,
(30:11):
like a moving from place to place. Rice is easy
and make a lot of rice. She's like, why don't
you just buy rice from a restaurant? You have plenty
of money And he's like, wow, I never thought of that.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
And I put it to bed.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Yeah, what does he say? I could be wrong, but
I think it's.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Such a He's like, well, they get to make many
ones that are better for travel, and she's like what
rice costs? Like nothing, Dad, you could just go to
the store.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
I stay with him, though you have you ever bought
rice from a restaurant?
Speaker 5 (30:46):
I love that?
Speaker 2 (30:47):
And that put it to bed. It doesn't tastes as good.
I think that was a stupid suggestion by the daughter.
You by the time you get well, I'm just saying, like,
getting a container of rice to go not a good idea.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
This is the life of an assassin, I guess it is.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
What does he say to Cage at the end before
Cage kills him. Not at the end, but.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Oh yeah, because keep in mind, the last time we
see this man before we come back to him, he
gets shot about seventeen hundred times through the body, through
the head, through every part of him, and they's just
like and the whole time Cage knew that he was there,
he was fully aware this was happening. And so at
the end of the movie he goes and they know
each other, and the guy is just like bleeding out,
(31:28):
I guess for the last seven hours in the corner
of that same room. Mostly fine though at the end
of the day because he's still there and talking.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Yeah. Total yeah, vest and a very thin mattress, and
everyone knows you can survive one hundred bullets with bulletsroof
vest and a very thin mattress.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Well that's what they're doing for the next John Wick.
It's just gonna be him and all he has is
a a mattress. They called him down mastest.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
That would have been a more interesting movie, just the
man and this mattress. It would this movie have been
better if it was like an hour fifteen. I mean,
I know it would have, because it would have been
less time watching it.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Like it's already so short, which I'm always four. Yeah,
but it's you know our thirty eight great perfect but yeah,
just so, I mean, yeah, it would have been better
because have been shorted, but they could have filled that
time with There's.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Enough interesting stuff, right, it's like your story, there's enough
to make this work. I think it would have been
just as boring if it was an hour fifteen. That's
the point. It's not like there was the scenes were
too long. It was just everything was boring.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Yeah, it just wasn't just wasn't up to snuff as
far as you know, this kind of stuff, which you
know they tried.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
And I mean, no, we're not giving credit. I want
to give it credit.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
Like, yeah, do not support the people who made.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Yeah, I'm sorry, just we're not doing it this one.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
I didn't go to film school, so I shouldn't. I
shouldn't just a minor.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
But what I am most concerned with at this point
is giving this movie too low of a score, because
if I give it really, really low.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
There's other stuff we've watched that made me angry. This
was just boring.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Yeah, it makes it somehow distinctive that like this was
a really bad movie. And it was pleasing whatever, but like, no,
it wasn't. It was just really bad because nothing happened.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
Yeah, it's just gonna be tough.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
You know what's a shame is I'm looking at Ken
Sanzel's IMDb right now. This was the last one I
ever made. That is not the shame. But he produced
and wrote. He produced all of the episodes and wrote
quite a few for Numbers. That that's a very not
good but fun show his Numbers. I don't know if
you guys have ever seen it. I actually really enjoyed
(34:01):
that show. I've recently watched a few episodes. Yeah, it's
like it's actually fun. And so there's something in there
in this guy's brain that he knows how to have
fun with the concept that's interesting, which Numbers is just
then do it for this movie.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
I can tell that this guy had some TV work because.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Like all TV work by the way, that make MOVI.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
That actually makes a lot of sense with this because
there's a lot of moments and I'm just like, well,
especially if y'all remember this or paying attention at all,
but basically, when when right in the beginning, when the
guys show up in Cages saying let me tell you
guys a story, and then it cuts to it's called
the main on ends that's the opening credits, and it
it's like, it looks like a TV show. I've never
(34:43):
seen movie openers like this, where it's just the way
it's presented is it's like Nicholas Cage and it shows
him like it shows all the actors' names as they
do it, which you don't really do that for Yeah,
it was just it was I was like, I feel
like I'm watching a TV show right now. Yeah, and
this as the movie went on, there's a lot of
(35:03):
bits from like I can see where like, okay, one
episode might be the first two people that kill each other,
like how that happens. The second episode is how that
goes to the next Like you could maybe make a
show out of that.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Maybeah yeah, well that would be an actual kill chin.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
You know what sucks too is eating all the way
back to the beginning.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
But so he did do all pretty much all TV,
but he had done two movies and one of the
movies he did is actually a really fun movie called
The Replacement Killers. I don't know if you've ever seen it,
I've heard, but it's in the gum fu genre of movie.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Oh this movie. I saw this forever ago.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
It's so much fun.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Now.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
He was thirteen, so he wasn't one rector and maybe
that's the problem. But he wrote it.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Yeah, and it is.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Uh, it's actually kind of like it could have been
a precursor to this movie. It's a similar vein, not
not the kill Chin part, but it's got those elements. God,
this sucked twenty one years later. You sucked, Ken Senzel
read it at all? You stink?
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Hey, I think Ken needs a win.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
He stinks. Good riddan.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Uh yeah yeah, good, good movie. Good.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
I really don't have anything to discuss more.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
I think okay, perfect because I don't want to talk
anymore about this.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
This experience of last night. I was so disappointed last night. Sorry,
after watching this would that my plan was because I
started like seven thirty or something and I was just
gonna an hour and a half watch it. And then
I've been playing this video game that I've been really
into lately called Satisfactory, and I was just gonna get
really high and go watch it. After this movie, I
(36:53):
was so bored and out of it. I just went
to bed. So there's my review.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
That's awesome. Can I tell you the video game I've
been playing recently, real quick before we get into the
final segments here, please? No, it's a power washing simulator.
A power washing simulator.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Rules you play too.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
That's awesome. It's so much fun. It's so much fun.
Unfortunately I have to delete it from my system to
freehom storage. When I re download it. We should play together, Hank.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Hell yeah, it's like twelve bucks. It's awesome. It is
the best. Yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
So anyway, I would rather be playing power watching. Power
washing simulator is what I'd rather be doing.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah, all right, let's hear some goofs and gaffs and the.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Anyhols no gorules, but there is gone area, at least
from the man reading you. These goofs and gaffs are
so all right, So you are not going to believe
how interesting the goofs and gas are. This week, we'll
start with the factual errors we had. Five people found
this helpful, eight people found this not helpful, in the
(38:15):
seventy which again I don't know why IMDb changed it
to helpful or not helpful. None of these things are
helpful and they don't help, so their likes and dislikes
five likes, eight dislikes. In the seventy first minute, there's
a reference to blood diamonds from Cameroon. Diamonds from that
country are not considered deserving of the term, unlike those
(38:35):
mine during recent civil wars in Liberia, Angola, Ivory Coast,
Sierra Sierra Leone, et cetera.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Like your help, like it, not helpful?
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Not help?
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Find that helpful?
Speaker 4 (38:48):
What are you wasting our time with the great?
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Well, maybe you'll like this one. In the seventy fifth minute,
they say suffice it to say, a common mistake in
spin on the expression suffice to.
Speaker 5 (39:00):
Say, wow, not helpful. Wow, that's the tenth, the tenth.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
That's like that Rick and Morty episode. The Morty's mind
blowers and he's like, don't take things for granted, He's
greg can you've been saying granite this whole time?
Speaker 2 (39:21):
He wipes his brain. All right, let me give you
one more. I think you'll like this one.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
There are times of charming.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Five people found this helpful not helpful at eleven fifty
and in several subsequent shots. Markham, whoever that is, looks
out in the dark from several windows in the room.
A light within the room he's in lights up the
white dress shirt he is wearing. He is extremely visible
from the exterior of the building. Any competent shooter would
never allow himself to be so easily seen under any circumstances,
(39:52):
and the error is all the more greater when he
remains will let after he learns he is being targeted,
you know, helpful.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
That is actually helpful, and too.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I'm gonna say helpful and then follow up with a question,
why does this guy know that?
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Yeah, he's probably a killer himself. I'll report him.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
Yeah, give him a help so he has the boost
and confidence, and then let's get him reported.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
I can't report goose. That's a shame. I'm gonna actually
I'm gonna email. I'm gonna email this STYMBB. Help. You'll
get it sorted, no problem, Okay, great.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
Hey guys, I'm I'm no sniper. And that was very apparent.
Keeps on going in and out of the room, and
like you're watching this guy. He's paranoid and panicked, and
he's like going around, you know, two different areas of
the window and looking out and setting up his gun
and everything, and like they do shots from the other
(40:54):
roof at the outside of his building and there are
the lights are all on.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
He might as well just wear a fucking orange reflective vest. Yes,
you know.
Speaker 4 (41:04):
Yeah, the best one was.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
The Remember he gets the he gets a prostitute up
there with him, and she thinks, you know, it's for sex,
but he's like, no, no, no, take your clothes off
for ten like it's sex, but go stand it from
the window. Do you see a car out there? Give
me info? And the second she's like, it's not there,
he just runs to the window and looks out.
Speaker 2 (41:23):
Yes. Yeah, it's amazing he stayed alive as long as
he did.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Yeah. What was really funny to me is like, offhand,
before we find out too too much about his you know,
playing all this, uh you know he's the prostitute, she's like,
she's leading, so you really don't want to have sex
and he goes not since my daughter was fourteen, Like
what does that mean? Up until that it was fine?
Speaker 2 (41:49):
But pedophile?
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Yeah, who knows? Man the old sniper.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Rice, he just wants some let's wrap this is that?
Speaker 4 (42:04):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Okay? Thank Christ? Yeah? Well that's uh, that's kill chain.
Let's move into a little segment I like to call
final thoughts hand ratings. Uh, a, j let's start with you. Uh,
let's uh, what's your what's your? What's up? What's up?
Speaker 2 (42:25):
What is this is like jerk.
Speaker 4 (42:30):
Broken tradition.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
I'm all flibulated because I usually have James's final thoughts.
But I do have some some final thoughts about this movie.
Proceed with your rating, Yeah, exactly, So I'm gonna read this.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Maybe maybe I should have got a chance first look
at that these zoom reactions. Now, you never know when
you update your software what you're gonna get.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
Does it ever leave?
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (43:19):
Just?
Speaker 4 (43:22):
Don't you dare clip my dead air out either?
Speaker 2 (43:26):
I know I love it and and it's the first
time in history that we didn't talk through your final thoughts.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
That's true, nor did he? All right, wait, what was
your rating?
Speaker 3 (43:41):
Nine?
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Nine?
Speaker 4 (43:43):
Nine?
Speaker 1 (43:44):
All right? Uh, Jimmy, how about you? What are your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (43:50):
And you're just going off of that. I'm tempted to
give it a nine an e I n and decline
a rating because I hated this.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Review.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Now I will say this, and so yeah, I think
I'm gonna give you. Like I said earlier, I was
gonna give this eighty five based off of the title alone. Unfortunately,
due to the content of the film, I'm gonna have
(44:22):
to take seventy five points away. I will give this
ten cages out of one hundred.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Okay, okay, ten and nine. I don't want to break
the chain here or anything, but you know, you guys
know me, and I always try to give a little
bit more to the movies that are trying and the
little guys and the indie films on the crap. So
for me, I thought, and so that's why I meant
(44:48):
to go with the fifteen.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Sorry, what was this fifteen? All right? So with with
AJ's nine ten and Hanks fifteen. Wait.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
I love that. I love that we do that for
the first time ever. On the episode that we also
had the AI transcribe every word that we say.
Speaker 4 (45:15):
Did you get that stenography?
Speaker 2 (45:20):
So that puts that movie out an eleven out of
one hundred, which puts it eighty third on our list,
right behind Outcast and Bangkok Dangerous, which got twelves, and Inconceivable,
which we gave it ten. I have no idea remember.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
That one, but I'm sure I made the joke that
it's Inconceivable.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Yes, I'm positive you said that many times. Yes, that's
that's that we are. We're actually two movies away from
finishing up our initial list from where where we started. Wow,
so the movies are out when we started. We're we're
two away from finishing that. Uh, and then after that,
I think we've got like eighteen to go.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
But Inconceivable was the one.
Speaker 3 (46:11):
Wait no, oh, yeah, so is jiu Jitsu the first
movie that came out after we'd started the pod?
Speaker 2 (46:21):
I think, So, I'm trying to look that up right now,
but yeah, I'm pretty sure it's Jiu Jitsu because the
last one is Grand Isle, which I've actually they have
never even heard of.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
It's it's that is a that is a part. It's
near New Orleans. It is a place that I grew
up going to many many times. And I've yet to
watch the film, and so I'm quite quite looking forward
to that because from what I recall from the trailer
nine hundred years ago, Cage is like full Ratty long hair,
gross mode.
Speaker 4 (46:51):
So nice. So there.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
Yeah, so there's been sixteen movies that have come out
since then, and yeah, it starts with jiu Jitsu. So yeah,
we got eighteen movies Left Boils and then until He
puts out More.
Speaker 1 (47:02):
But was the one where the the mom moved in
with the other mom but slowly tried to take over
the family.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
But you can tell something, Hank, you don't give a
ship even though.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
I remember it, it's I've never experienced this feeling in
my life.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
I have no idea what you're talking about. What are
you talking about? A mom moved in and tried to
take control.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
It's nuts, it's nuts.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
Uh, well, oh with Gina Gersha, that's right, I actually do. Yeah,
I actually do remember this.
Speaker 1 (47:36):
Yeah, he's talking about my brain is fucking broken right now.
Speaker 2 (47:40):
And Nikki Whalen from from taking.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
Great, great film, I prefer stolen.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
Not from taking My apologies.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
You're looking good. Well, what the freaking heck are we
watch it on the next one, James.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Yeah, So next week we've got a caveman and a
dinosaur bond over shared tragedy and work together to survive
in a perilous prehistoric world. Sorry, that's actually the Primal
TV series that came out in twenty nineteen. Ah you. Instead, instead,
what we have.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
That sounds it sounds so co man.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Instead, we have the primal movie that came out in
twenty nineteen. Frank's Caught Wildlife in Brazil. Wait, Frank's Caught
Wildlife in the Brazilian Jungle include I NCL period not
full including I've never seen.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
A worse What are you saying? I'm trying to.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
Read the tagline Rex Caught Wildlife in the Brazilian Jungle
include include whatever ironcl period A four hundred pounds white jaguar.
He ships it on the same ship as an arrested assassin.
The assassin breaks free and frees the animals.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
I just put it up and looking at this this
text is like, Uh.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
It's insane. We have done of these. I've never seen
a movie written like that before.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
Look at his outfit.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
Though it sounds badass, it's sounds like a lot of fun.
From what I remember. This movie sucks, but Michael Imperioli
is in it, and I just saw him on Broadway
any Rock, So okay, let's say, uh, it might be
a fun week, it might be fun next time. I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
All we can say is it's it's at least likely
that it'll be more interesting than kill Chane.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
Yeah, sure, yeah, it's likely I'll give you.
Speaker 1 (49:42):
That eleven eleven. Well, that's uh, it's another another endearing
episode of the Wickerman. Thanks for listening to the Wickermen.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
Yeah, honestly, I I really hope that nobody listens to this.
This was bad. This movie was bad, This episode was bad.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
At least, know what our ratio of like episodes that
we say no one should ever listen to to they should,
because I'm starting to think it's teetering in the path
of no one should listen to about seventy percent of
our show.
Speaker 2 (50:16):
I disagree. I think we put out about seventy five
to eighty percent good episodes where we're maybe even closer
than eighty five to ninety percent where we're having fun, yeah,
conversations good. Then there's just ten to fifteen percent mostly.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
I guess there's that's the difference must saying don't watch
the movie versus yes, exactly to the posactly because.
Speaker 2 (50:38):
Agent, you're gonna have to do some thinking for the
next one, because your number three highlight spotlight movies coming up,
So you're gonna have to do some thinking on that.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
You've got some big shoes to fill. Yeah, So from
whatever our oh it is missiles toime mixed up.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
Oh, and I'm not watching that porno that you were in.
Speaker 1 (50:57):
I haven't seen it. So if that's the one, I
guess I have to I have to if I.
Speaker 4 (51:01):
Asked you to, Oh, Mad Maccine.
Speaker 2 (51:04):
I'm not watching it, so I think it's something.
Speaker 4 (51:07):
That I don't even know where that DVD is.
Speaker 2 (51:10):
Mad Maxine.
Speaker 4 (51:12):
You guys even have DVD players.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
I do.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
Yeah, and I have a VHS v c R. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (51:19):
Incredible.
Speaker 1 (51:20):
Okay, Well that's the end of the episode. See see
on the next one. Yep, uh like subscribe. Follow our Patreon,
check out our our twitch streams. Check on our YouTube
live streams. Check out our tic talk us on. Check
(51:47):
out our Instagram, check out our Facebook group. LinkedIn check
out our LinkedIn account.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Because this is just check out.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Check out, uh check you check you on the right.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
In the middle of a rice cooker conversation.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
I need my rice. I need my rice. It's over it.
Speaker 4 (52:10):
It is out of our misery.
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