Why Shouldn't I Rob A Bank?

Robbing a bank is a dumb idea. And not just because it's illegal.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to brain Stuff from How Stuff Works. Hey everybody,
I'm Christian Sager. Welcome to brain Stuff. Little note first,
I only agreed to do this episode about bank robbing
if I could make references to all of my favorite
heist films. We've all seen bank robberies in movies like
Point Break or Heat, and I'll admit I've got a

(00:24):
little bit of an addiction to the video game pay
Day two. But moral quandries aside, bank robbers have often
been romanticized throughout history, especially during times of economic instability.
Just think of Bonnie and Clyde, John Dillinger, and Jesse James.
So it's no wonder that across the United States, people
from various walks of life have occasionally thought, why shouldn't

(00:47):
I rob a bank? Let me stop you right there, slick.
There are several reasons you shouldn't, even if you think
you have the perfect plan. First, it is dangerous. Completely
innocent people could and do die in robberies. Criminals in
this town used to believe in things on her respect.
And it's also obviously illegal, not some wishy washy blue

(01:10):
law kind of illegal like selling beer on a Sunday. Either,
it is a straight up felony. The average sentence for
federal bank robbery, which means robbing any f D I
C member bank, can vary widely depending on several factors.
In the US, these factors are outlined under Title eighteen,
Section two one one three of the Federal Sentencing Guidelines.

(01:30):
Was anyone injured? How much money did the criminals take?
Were weapons involved? These factors add up quickly, and when
the robbers are caught, they can be looking at decades
in jail. Not to mention the findes. Notice that I
said when they're caught, not if that's the second thing.
If you rub a bank, you will probably get caught.
According to the Department of Justice, the FBI's clearance rank

(01:52):
for a bank robbery is nearly sixty and about half
of those are solved within thirty days. It makes sense
when you think of about the typical bank robbery. Of
the five thousand and fourteen US bank robberies that took
place in eleven most occurred during the day, meaning there
were multiple witnesses. The police are notified as quickly as possible,

(02:13):
and it is a safe bet that there's photographic evidence too.
Tuesdays and Fridays are the most popular days of the
week for a bank robbery, and most robbers are total amateurs.
More than eighty percent have no prior convictions for bank crime,
and eight percent operate alone using predictable patterns. These guys
don't imagine a fellow smarter than themselves and try to

(02:34):
think what would he do. These criminals are often apprehended
on the same day of the robbery, and banks are
full of strategies for catching them, including exploding die packs.
But let's say you've already thought of that, right. You've
seen heist films like Oceans eleven or The Joker Heist
in the Dark Night, and you know that a well
organized team can mean the difference between early retirement in

(02:55):
the Caymans or a long bid in sing Sing. Professional
bank robbers ten operating crews using weapons and stolen vehicles,
and it's true that a crew can up your chances
of a successful heist. Teams can divide the robbery tasks
and also tend to spend more time on planning and reconnaissance.
This strategy can lead to a larger overall take. A

(03:16):
study by several British economists found that quote every extra
member of the gang raises the expected value of the
robbery proceeds by nine thousand and thirty three pounds or
fifteen thousand, two hundred and twelve dollars. But keep in
mind that the hall per person will go down with
each new member still set on a career in heists,

(03:36):
Remember you can't let yourself get attached to anything you
are not willing to walk out on in thirty seconds
flat if you feel the heat around the corner. Are
the terrible odds, the legal consequences, and the risk to
innocent life not enough to dissuade you? Well? Consider this
last fact. Bank robberies don't actually make that much money.
According to the study I just mentioned, the average return

(03:58):
on a bank heist in the UK is about nineteen thousand,
seven hundred dollars per person per heist. In the US
it's even worse, a bit over four thousand dollars in
two thousand nine. While that might sound like a lot
of scratch, it's not enough to set you up for life.
As of the current US poverty threshold is an annual
income of eleven thousand, four ninety dollars for one person.

(04:22):
This means you would have to rob three banks a
year and keep all of the loot just to stay
out of the poorhouse. Hardly a glamorous lifestyle. Of course,
this doesn't mean that heist movies aren't cool, just that
you shouldn't try them at home or in a bank.

(04:43):
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