June 4, 2023 • 16 mins
Guest Host Connie Willis and Paul Sugar discuss using mindfulness to relieve fear and stress
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You are listening to Coast to Coast AM. Hello there,
I'm Connie Willis and I hope that you'll find me.
Just sign up for my email list if anything else,
at Connie Willis dot com and join my show too.
That would be really nice. We have a lot of
fun Blue Rock Talk Connie after Dark, you can have
a drink with me live virtually what happens there stays there.
Or you can also go on live investigations to creepy
(00:22):
hotspots or one hundred percent with activity and it's really
a lot of fun. We learn a lot. We're not
one on one. We go deep into the subjects and
really want to know what's going on. It's all about
communication and relationship. And if you're that kind of person,
then join become a member of my show, Blue Rock Talk.
(00:43):
So just go to Connie Willis dot com and look
around and see what you like. And I'd love for
you to be a part of it. So our next
guest here has a cool name. You gotta love his name,
Paul Sugar. I mean, Paul Sugar is a cool name.
That's just the way it is. You're gonna remember it.
And I actually I just recently met him. Kind of
(01:04):
called him up after I saw him on Do you
all remember Michael Ford when he was the Angel Guy.
At one point when I was learning about Michael to
bring him on Coast to Coast, I had seen one
of his interviews and it was just a very short
bit with Paul Sugar, and that's who we have on tonight.
(01:24):
It was very interesting to meet him. I feel like
I'm going to always know him, and you all might
maybe everybody feels that way with him. Some people say
that about me. You know, you meet some people and
you feel like I'm going to know you forever. But
I kind of feel like I'm going to know him
or already even do, which is really cool. He's somebody
(01:45):
that you can talk with. He'll talk right back. You
can stay deep into a subject and go deeper and
deeper and deeper and just enjoy the conversation. That is
my thing. I love this.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Now.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
There's going to be several things we can talk about
with him, and I don't really actually know where to
start because there's so many cool things to talk about
with him. Usually I try not to talk to anybody
except for a little bity bit before I bring them on,
so that we can share everything live right now. But
he and I got into some great conversations and I
(02:20):
just think we will continue to do that for the
rest of our lives, and I don't think we'll ever
run out of anything to say. He's got such a
background that is absolutely amazing that I'm going to let
him tell some of those things because I don't want
to mess those up with what he's done, but I
do want to say that it was really cool originally
(02:41):
talking to him about basically the fear of dying, and
what he does is helps rid of fear and stress
and people, especially the fear of dying. So there's a
whole thing to that, but the bit it's huge to
be able to help people rid of fear. Fear, love,
(03:03):
love is all there is. That fear gets in the way.
All my life, I've been looking for people that can
rid of fear because it gets in the way, it
stops people from what they're trying to do. It's terrible.
And here's a guy that does do that and so
much more so. Paul, I'm gonna bring you in on
(03:23):
that alone. We'll talk about anything, everything, it doesn't matter.
We can just zoom right into all of it. But
I'm glad to meet you, and I know we're gonna
be talking more. I'm excited. I watched some of your
videos today on stressbeaters dot com and just one or two,
(03:44):
maybe three or four of them, and as I was
taking a short nap, I got into like that erv
stage you might remember from days of Ingo Swan relationship.
But I felt like I did one of the things
you said to do, and I was right there in
the presence of something and it was like where I
(04:05):
should be. It was just really really cool. And anyway,
I'm glad to have you here. Welcome. I believe this
is this the first time you've been on coast to
coast as well.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yes, it is, Connie, nice to be here.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
It's so great. You are a teacher, you know as
I started watching your videos, you're a teacher. You're definitely
a teacher for sure. But you've done so many things.
You have the benefits of having talents and just incredibly
intelligent with awareness and also a happy life with love.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yes, indeed, I've been a lucky guy.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Well tell us, yeah, now you have in is it Scottsdale?
You're in Scottsdale?
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yes, I am, I am.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Tell me about your institute.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Well, I'm the director at the Scott Stille Institute for
Health and Medicine and the Center for Mindfulness, And this
is an organization that I founded in nineteen ninety three,
originally to develop a holistic center in the Phoenix area,
(05:18):
and we did that, and then after the center was developed,
I decided that I wanted to focus my attention completely
on the practice of mindfulness and teaching mindfulness. And so
with that intention of really focusing in on mindfulness, we
(05:39):
went forward and have been very successful in teaching many,
many people, thousands of people, the practice of mindfulness and
helping them reduce stress and reduce their fear and basically
just be able to live a happy and healthy life.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
And when you say mindfulness, what do you mean when
you say, hey, we talk about mindfulness and teach mindfulness.
Is that consciousness?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, well, let's figure that out. My definition of mindfulness
is being able to pay attention moment by moment, on
purpose to the body, thoughts, emotions, and breath. And the
reason that we pay attention in that particular way to
the body of the thoughts, the emotions, and the breath
(06:34):
is because the body is the gateway into the present
moment experience. And what we've discovered through well over ten
thousand studies over the past thirty years or so is
that there's this phenomenon going on all over the world,
(06:55):
really where in the field of stress are getting stuck
in that experience of fight or flight. So we all
know the experience of fight or flight to be our
response to a survival threat, which is a good thing.
(07:15):
We want to be able to have that response to
the survival threat. We need the fear that comes up
during fight or flight in order to mobilize us to
be able to deal with whatever happens to be threatening
our survival. The problem is this, for some reason, and
(07:35):
we don't know why exactly, we just know that it's happening.
But for some reason, people all over the world are
getting stuck in that fight or flight response. So if
you think about that for a moment, think about all
the changes that take place physically, mentally, and emotionally when
(07:55):
we go into fight or flight. Just sit with that
for a minute. Imagine that all of those changes that
we go into stay with us for an extended period
of time. And I'm not talking just hours or days
or weeks. I've worked with many, many people where it's
not unusual at all for people to come to the
(08:17):
realization that they've been stuck in this fight or flight
mode for decades. It's not unusual to be with people
who realize twenty thirty, even forty years they've been stuck
in this fight or flight mode. And the predominating emotion
that comes with that fight or flight mode being stuck
(08:37):
there is of course fear, and very specifically fear of dying.
And so when we begin to practice mindfulness training the
attention to stay in the body, the thoughts, the emotions,
and the breath, it's as if the body's senses that
(08:58):
we're reconnecting with it and coming back into the present moment.
And so the catch twenty two with being stuck in
fight or flight is that our main coping mechanism that
we deal with when we're in that fight or flight
mode is our ability to disconnect. So what do we
(09:18):
disconnect from? We disconnect from our body, our thoughts, our emotions,
and breath, which is a good thing because if we
get caught by the saber tooth tiger, we don't really
want to be there to experience the pain and the
suffering that's going to come to us if we get
caught by that tiger. And so we've learned how to
(09:39):
disconnect from the body. The problem is when we get
stuck in fight or flight that we become chronically disconnected,
so we lose our ability to really communicate with the body.
And you would think that it would be a natural
occurrence for us to come out of fight or flight
and go back into balance, but unfortunately it's not a
(10:05):
normal sequence to that anymore. And so in the practice
of mindfulness, we become proactive and we focus our attention
on the body thoughts, emotions, and breath, and it's as
if at that point the body senses that were reconnected,
(10:25):
and it takes that as a signal that there's no
more danger out there. So what it does is it
shifts the autonomic nervous system out of fight or flight
and brings us back into that normal, balanced mode where
we lose the fear, where we lose all of those
(10:45):
changes that take place physically, mentally, and emotionally when we're
in that fear mode. And so just by a very
very simple practice of engaging that skill of being able
to pay attention in that particular way, we're able to
reverse being stuck in the fight or flight mode and
(11:07):
coming back into balance. And so you'd think that would
be the end of the story. Yeah, but it's not
the beginning of the story. Coming out of the fear mode,
that's just the beginning. Now, if you continue to stay
connected to the body that gateway into the present moment experience,
(11:27):
you will begin to have that present moment experience twenty
four to seven. Now, I'm sure everybody has heard, either
through sports or through some other medium, the term flow states,
you know, being in the zone, peak performance, so forth,
and so on. That is the natural state of being
(11:51):
when you're in that mindfulness state, in that present moment state.
Lots of studies behind that. So when we get rid
of the fear and normalize the body of the thoughts
and the emotions, we then begin to enter into these
flow states. And you don't have to be an athlete,
of course, to go into the flow state. The flow
(12:13):
state is something that you can experience regardless of what
you're doing twenty four to seven in your life. And
so if you continue to do this practice, which does
need reinforcing on a regular basis, So if you continue
to do the mindfulness practice. You'll be able to sustain
that flow state for the rest of your life twenty
(12:36):
four to seven. And that really brings a lot of
joy and happiness and peace into your life. So it's
a great reason to do the practice. It's a prime
motivator because it really brings us into a deeper experience
(12:57):
and enjoyment of our lives and allows us to be
more peaceful, more creative, more productive, so forth and so
on without having the detriment of that fear from the
stress hanging over us all the time.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Does it take a long time with the practice to
get to that point.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
It's a gradual thing, and you know, it's different with everybody.
But I can tell you you know, as I mentioned before,
I've worked with thousands of people over the years, and
particularly with an eight week course that I teach, and
I find that most everybody that goes through the eight
(13:39):
week course, at some point during the eight weeks they're
beginning to experience the benefits of the practice. Some start
to experience the benefits after the first week, some second week,
third week, but certainly by the end of the eight weeks,
people are engaged and really experience that present moment experience
(14:03):
the benefits of the practice, and then from that point on,
when they continue to practice, it begins to unfold even
more and more, and they continue to sustain those slow
states that they've that they've begun to access during that
eight week program.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Do you blame like some of the reasons why we
get stuck in what you were saying, also because life
is busy, hurry up, got to do something else, have
more responsibilities where you don't address your own self.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yes, yes, that's that's a good point, Connie. The kind
of lifestyle that most of us live in modern day life,
with technology and so forth and so on, makes it
difficult for us to turn inward and really focus our
attention that way. It doesn't have to be that way
to me. So, for example, a lot of people complain
(15:01):
that stress that they excuse me that technology in the
form of our phones and computers and so forth and
so on, are creating this problem. My contention is that
it's just a byproduct of the problem, and that it's
really the way you see things that dictate whether or
(15:23):
not you're going to experience stress. So I think that
technology in and of itself is not the problem. It's
our relationship to technology. That's the problem. We haven't learned
yet how to relate to all of these things, these
new things that that we're experiencing in the past ten
(15:45):
twenty thirty years with that high technology in so many
different regards, and you know, and beginning to unfold now
even more so with AI and quantum computing is not
far away as well. And so our world is changing rapidly,
and we really need to have the tools to be
(16:07):
able to survive without it taking us down into that
rabbit hole of stress. And I believe through my own
experience that mindfulness is that main tool that will allow
us to survive and thrive in the face of all
of this massive change that we're all experiencing nowadays.
You are listening to Coast to Coast AM. Hello there,
I'm Connie Willis and I hope that you'll find me.
Just sign up for my email list if anything else,
at Connie Willis dot com and join my show too.
That would be really nice. We have a lot of
fun Blue Rock Talk Connie after Dark, you can have
a drink with me live virtually what happens there stays there.
Or you can also go on live investigations to creepy
(00:22):
hotspots or one hundred percent with activity and it's really
a lot of fun. We learn a lot. We're not
one on one. We go deep into the subjects and
really want to know what's going on. It's all about
communication and relationship. And if you're that kind of person,
then join become a member of my show, Blue Rock Talk.
(00:43):
So just go to Connie Willis dot com and look
around and see what you like. And I'd love for
you to be a part of it. So our next
guest here has a cool name. You gotta love his name,
Paul Sugar. I mean, Paul Sugar is a cool name.
That's just the way it is. You're gonna remember it.
And I actually I just recently met him. Kind of
(01:04):
called him up after I saw him on Do you
all remember Michael Ford when he was the Angel Guy.
At one point when I was learning about Michael to
bring him on Coast to Coast, I had seen one
of his interviews and it was just a very short
bit with Paul Sugar, and that's who we have on tonight.
(01:24):
It was very interesting to meet him. I feel like
I'm going to always know him, and you all might
maybe everybody feels that way with him. Some people say
that about me. You know, you meet some people and
you feel like I'm going to know you forever. But
I kind of feel like I'm going to know him
or already even do, which is really cool. He's somebody
(01:45):
that you can talk with. He'll talk right back. You
can stay deep into a subject and go deeper and
deeper and deeper and just enjoy the conversation. That is
my thing. I love this.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Now.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
There's going to be several things we can talk about
with him, and I don't really actually know where to
start because there's so many cool things to talk about
with him. Usually I try not to talk to anybody
except for a little bity bit before I bring them on,
so that we can share everything live right now. But
he and I got into some great conversations and I
(02:20):
just think we will continue to do that for the
rest of our lives, and I don't think we'll ever
run out of anything to say. He's got such a
background that is absolutely amazing that I'm going to let
him tell some of those things because I don't want
to mess those up with what he's done, but I
do want to say that it was really cool originally
(02:41):
talking to him about basically the fear of dying, and
what he does is helps rid of fear and stress
and people, especially the fear of dying. So there's a
whole thing to that, but the bit it's huge to
be able to help people rid of fear. Fear, love,
(03:03):
love is all there is. That fear gets in the way.
All my life, I've been looking for people that can
rid of fear because it gets in the way, it
stops people from what they're trying to do. It's terrible.
And here's a guy that does do that and so
much more so. Paul, I'm gonna bring you in on
(03:23):
that alone. We'll talk about anything, everything, it doesn't matter.
We can just zoom right into all of it. But
I'm glad to meet you, and I know we're gonna
be talking more. I'm excited. I watched some of your
videos today on stressbeaters dot com and just one or two,
(03:44):
maybe three or four of them, and as I was
taking a short nap, I got into like that erv
stage you might remember from days of Ingo Swan relationship.
But I felt like I did one of the things
you said to do, and I was right there in
the presence of something and it was like where I
(04:05):
should be. It was just really really cool. And anyway,
I'm glad to have you here. Welcome. I believe this
is this the first time you've been on coast to
coast as well.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yes, it is, Connie, nice to be here.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
It's so great. You are a teacher, you know as
I started watching your videos, you're a teacher. You're definitely
a teacher for sure. But you've done so many things.
You have the benefits of having talents and just incredibly
intelligent with awareness and also a happy life with love.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yes, indeed, I've been a lucky guy.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Well tell us, yeah, now you have in is it Scottsdale?
You're in Scottsdale?
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yes, I am, I am.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Tell me about your institute.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Well, I'm the director at the Scott Stille Institute for
Health and Medicine and the Center for Mindfulness, And this
is an organization that I founded in nineteen ninety three,
originally to develop a holistic center in the Phoenix area,
(05:18):
and we did that, and then after the center was developed,
I decided that I wanted to focus my attention completely
on the practice of mindfulness and teaching mindfulness. And so
with that intention of really focusing in on mindfulness, we
(05:39):
went forward and have been very successful in teaching many,
many people, thousands of people, the practice of mindfulness and
helping them reduce stress and reduce their fear and basically
just be able to live a happy and healthy life.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
And when you say mindfulness, what do you mean when
you say, hey, we talk about mindfulness and teach mindfulness.
Is that consciousness?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, well, let's figure that out. My definition of mindfulness
is being able to pay attention moment by moment, on
purpose to the body, thoughts, emotions, and breath. And the
reason that we pay attention in that particular way to
the body of the thoughts, the emotions, and the breath
(06:34):
is because the body is the gateway into the present
moment experience. And what we've discovered through well over ten
thousand studies over the past thirty years or so is
that there's this phenomenon going on all over the world,
(06:55):
really where in the field of stress are getting stuck
in that experience of fight or flight. So we all
know the experience of fight or flight to be our
response to a survival threat, which is a good thing.
(07:15):
We want to be able to have that response to
the survival threat. We need the fear that comes up
during fight or flight in order to mobilize us to
be able to deal with whatever happens to be threatening
our survival. The problem is this, for some reason, and
(07:35):
we don't know why exactly, we just know that it's happening.
But for some reason, people all over the world are
getting stuck in that fight or flight response. So if
you think about that for a moment, think about all
the changes that take place physically, mentally, and emotionally when
(07:55):
we go into fight or flight. Just sit with that
for a minute. Imagine that all of those changes that
we go into stay with us for an extended period
of time. And I'm not talking just hours or days
or weeks. I've worked with many, many people where it's
not unusual at all for people to come to the
(08:17):
realization that they've been stuck in this fight or flight
mode for decades. It's not unusual to be with people
who realize twenty thirty, even forty years they've been stuck
in this fight or flight mode. And the predominating emotion
that comes with that fight or flight mode being stuck
(08:37):
there is of course fear, and very specifically fear of dying.
And so when we begin to practice mindfulness training the
attention to stay in the body, the thoughts, the emotions,
and the breath, it's as if the body's senses that
(08:58):
we're reconnecting with it and coming back into the present moment.
And so the catch twenty two with being stuck in
fight or flight is that our main coping mechanism that
we deal with when we're in that fight or flight
mode is our ability to disconnect. So what do we
(09:18):
disconnect from? We disconnect from our body, our thoughts, our emotions,
and breath, which is a good thing because if we
get caught by the saber tooth tiger, we don't really
want to be there to experience the pain and the
suffering that's going to come to us if we get
caught by that tiger. And so we've learned how to
(09:39):
disconnect from the body. The problem is when we get
stuck in fight or flight that we become chronically disconnected,
so we lose our ability to really communicate with the body.
And you would think that it would be a natural
occurrence for us to come out of fight or flight
and go back into balance, but unfortunately it's not a
(10:05):
normal sequence to that anymore. And so in the practice
of mindfulness, we become proactive and we focus our attention
on the body thoughts, emotions, and breath, and it's as
if at that point the body senses that were reconnected,
(10:25):
and it takes that as a signal that there's no
more danger out there. So what it does is it
shifts the autonomic nervous system out of fight or flight
and brings us back into that normal, balanced mode where
we lose the fear, where we lose all of those
(10:45):
changes that take place physically, mentally, and emotionally when we're
in that fear mode. And so just by a very
very simple practice of engaging that skill of being able
to pay attention in that particular way, we're able to
reverse being stuck in the fight or flight mode and
(11:07):
coming back into balance. And so you'd think that would
be the end of the story. Yeah, but it's not
the beginning of the story. Coming out of the fear mode,
that's just the beginning. Now, if you continue to stay
connected to the body that gateway into the present moment experience,
(11:27):
you will begin to have that present moment experience twenty
four to seven. Now, I'm sure everybody has heard, either
through sports or through some other medium, the term flow states,
you know, being in the zone, peak performance, so forth,
and so on. That is the natural state of being
(11:51):
when you're in that mindfulness state, in that present moment state.
Lots of studies behind that. So when we get rid
of the fear and normalize the body of the thoughts
and the emotions, we then begin to enter into these
flow states. And you don't have to be an athlete,
of course, to go into the flow state. The flow
(12:13):
state is something that you can experience regardless of what
you're doing twenty four to seven in your life. And
so if you continue to do this practice, which does
need reinforcing on a regular basis, So if you continue
to do the mindfulness practice. You'll be able to sustain
that flow state for the rest of your life twenty
(12:36):
four to seven. And that really brings a lot of
joy and happiness and peace into your life. So it's
a great reason to do the practice. It's a prime
motivator because it really brings us into a deeper experience
(12:57):
and enjoyment of our lives and allows us to be
more peaceful, more creative, more productive, so forth and so
on without having the detriment of that fear from the
stress hanging over us all the time.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Does it take a long time with the practice to
get to that point.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
It's a gradual thing, and you know, it's different with everybody.
But I can tell you you know, as I mentioned before,
I've worked with thousands of people over the years, and
particularly with an eight week course that I teach, and
I find that most everybody that goes through the eight
(13:39):
week course, at some point during the eight weeks they're
beginning to experience the benefits of the practice. Some start
to experience the benefits after the first week, some second week,
third week, but certainly by the end of the eight weeks,
people are engaged and really experience that present moment experience
(14:03):
the benefits of the practice, and then from that point on,
when they continue to practice, it begins to unfold even
more and more, and they continue to sustain those slow
states that they've that they've begun to access during that
eight week program.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Do you blame like some of the reasons why we
get stuck in what you were saying, also because life
is busy, hurry up, got to do something else, have
more responsibilities where you don't address your own self.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yes, yes, that's that's a good point, Connie. The kind
of lifestyle that most of us live in modern day life,
with technology and so forth and so on, makes it
difficult for us to turn inward and really focus our
attention that way. It doesn't have to be that way
to me. So, for example, a lot of people complain
(15:01):
that stress that they excuse me that technology in the
form of our phones and computers and so forth and
so on, are creating this problem. My contention is that
it's just a byproduct of the problem, and that it's
really the way you see things that dictate whether or
(15:23):
not you're going to experience stress. So I think that
technology in and of itself is not the problem. It's
our relationship to technology. That's the problem. We haven't learned
yet how to relate to all of these things, these
new things that that we're experiencing in the past ten
(15:45):
twenty thirty years with that high technology in so many
different regards, and you know, and beginning to unfold now
even more so with AI and quantum computing is not
far away as well. And so our world is changing rapidly,
and we really need to have the tools to be
(16:07):
able to survive without it taking us down into that
rabbit hole of stress. And I believe through my own
experience that mindfulness is that main tool that will allow
us to survive and thrive in the face of all
of this massive change that we're all experiencing nowadays.
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