372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

Conor Lastowka and Michael J. Nelson are reading books they're pretty sure they're going to hate. Read along with us for a podcast book clubs of Ready Player One, Armada, The Eye of Argon, Dan Brown, and more!

Episodes

280 Mysteries Ep 15 – The Case of the Missing Watch Goose

October 17, 2025 • 21 mins

Listen to the complete 280 Mysteries archive, including our brand new episode with Joel McHale, only on the 372 Pages Patreon! https://patreon.com/372pages Watch goose* is a thing, everyone. Seriously. We don’t like it anymore than you do, but it’s a thing. Mike tries to crack the case. *”Guard goose” would also be an accepted term.

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372 Pages #194 – Deception Point Ep 2 – Ice Bullets, Snifters and Puggish Smiles!

October 10, 2025 • 166 mins

Support the podcast on Patreon where you can hear our latest 280 Mysteries episode with special guest JOEL MCHALE! patreon.com/372pages Courvoisier-sipping senator Sedgewick Sexton; the hideous, grotesque, smoke-spewing, long-limbed inhuman creature Marjorie Tench; and Deltas One, Two and Three are just a few of the characters discussed in this episode. So much happens. So many …

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280 Mysteries Ep 14 – The Case of the Hungry Hitchhiker

October 3, 2025 • 15 mins

Listen to the entire 280 Mysteries archive on our patreon! patreon.com/372pages For once, once, it’s a hitchhiker that’s hungry and not a damn hippo! Anyway, Conor throws Donald J. Sobel’s mystery at Mike and Mike attempts to hit it out of the park. Does he succeed? You’ll have to listen.

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372 Pages #193 – Deception Point Ep 1 – Save Your Meal of Horse Till AFTER You Read About M. Tench

September 24, 2025 • 165 mins

Support the podcast on Patreon and get every episode a week free plus all the other stuff we don’t post anywhere else! patreon.com/372pages Dan Brown is back! The author of Digital Fortress (and, okay, if I have to mention it, The Da Vinci Code) is typing up words and phrases and clauses as fast as …

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372 Pages #192 – Book #35: Deception Point by Dan Brown!

September 11, 2025 • 39 mins

We announced this book a week ago on our Patreon! Join in on the fun and support the podcast at patreon.com/372pages We kick off another voyage into the microchapter world of Dan Brown! Plus we’ll hear all about a recent humiliation Mike suffered on the tennis court and read some listener emails. Get Deception Point …

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280 Mysteries Ep 13 – The Case of the Foot Warmers

August 21, 2025 • 16 mins

Check out our Patreon to be the first to find out our next book and to hear the entire 280 Mysteries archives, including the episodes we just released with Bridget and Lauren! patreon.com/372pages In this ep, Conor attempts once again to unravel the many strange threads of Donald J. Sobel. This one involves Melvin Pugh, …

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372 Pages #191 – Night of the Crabs Ep 3 – Limpet Mines, Potholers, Mills Bombs and Constitutionals!

August 14, 2025 • 138 mins

Join the Jackals and support the podcast on Patreon! Find out the next book before everyone else and hear the 280 Mysteries we recorded with Bridget Nelson! patreon.com/372pages Yes, all the things we in America know so well and love so much come together (much like dodgems) in one final episode! This episode has it …

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280 Mysteries Ep 12 – The Case of the Five Clues

August 8, 2025 • 17 mins

It’s Conor’s turn to solve the mystery, and Mike has picked out a fiendish one. There are five clues this time, and in a series where even the sole clue a mystery hinges on likely doesn’t make a lot of sense, this means we’re in for a wild ride! Support the podcast on Patreon to …

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372 Pages #190 – Night of the Crabs Ep 2 – If You’re Gonna Do That Anywhere, Do it in the Spiky Grass!

August 1, 2025 • 125 mins

Support the podcast on Patreon and hear stuff you can’t get anywhere else like Mike & Conor’s read thru of the CLASSIC 80s Choose Your Own Adventure book “You Are A Shark” patreon.com/372pages Read along with us, get the book here If you’re even vaguely considering listening to this particular episode, please consider this: a …

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280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back Ep 37 – The Case of the Carousel Horse – W/ Ken Jennings

July 25, 2025 • 54 mins

Get access to the complete 280 Mysteries archive on our Patreon: patreon.com/372pages Yes, the smartest man we’ve ever met – and we’ve met dozens of men – joins us in an attempt to outwit Idaville’s greatest boy detective. See if Jeopardy host Ken Jennings can assist Mike with The Case of the Carousel Horse! Pre-order …

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372 Pages #189 – Night of the Crabs Ep 1 – Grandpa NO!

July 16, 2025 • 173 mins

Support the podcast on Patreon and get every episode early, plus exclusive episodes like our 280 Mysteries episode with Jeopardy host Ken Jennings! https://patreon.com/372pages Get the book here Rejoice with Conor and Mike as they read through a new book that was not written by Colleen Hoover!! This one features a pipe-smoking botanist, bathing costumes, …

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280 Mysteries – Ep 11 – The Case of the Stolen Pigs

July 3, 2025 • 16 mins

We just announced our next 372 Pages book on our Patreon! Find out what it is, and get access to the complete 280 Mysteries archive, by supporting the podcast! patreon.com/372pages Two prize winning pigs have gone missing in Idaville, and our intrepid Boy Detective suspects a brand new gang. How many gangs are operating in …

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280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back Ep 10 – The Case of the Bird Watcher

June 12, 2025 • 15 mins

Get access to the complete 280 Mysteries archive, including the episode we just recorded with Jeopardy host Ken Jennings, on the 372 Patreon: patreon.com/372pages Sally is once again pounding Bugs’ face into oblivion, Encyclopedia is still sucking in the gasoline fumes from his makeshift cash register, and people in Idaville are still doin’ some crimes! …

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372 Pages #188 – Ugly Love Ep 5 – This is Brad’s World Now

June 5, 2025 • 153 mins

Be the first to find out what our next book is going to be, join the 372 Patreon and get access to every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive stuff you’ll only find there! patreon.com/372pages All good things must come to an end. Also, Ugly Love must come to an end, …

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280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back #9 – The Case of the Missing Penny

May 29, 2025 • 19 mins

Get access to the complete 280 Mysteries archive by supporting us on Patreon! patreon.com/372pages We’re back to Idaville, the boy detective, Leroy Brown, replete with gangs of roving toughs, girls breaking boys jaws: you know, the usual stuff. But can Mike crack this very, very tough case?

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372 Pages #187 – Ugly Love Ep 4 – No, Cap Does NOT Sport a Thong

May 20, 2025 • 139 mins

Support the podcast on Patreon, where you’ll be the first to learn what we’re reading next and get access to a whole archive of stuff we’ve never released on the free feed! patreon.com/372pages If you’ve stuck with us this far you must be a fan of the words “kiss” and “heart.” And of the phrase …

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372 Pages Ep #186 – Ugly Love Ep 3 – Dillon = HERO

May 6, 2025 • 145 mins

Support the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode a week early, plus access to the 280 Mysteries archive, plus fun stuff like the Choose Your Own Adventure live stream we did last month! patreon.com/372pages To be clear, Dillon is terrible. BUT he’s the least like a cardboard cutout of all these dumbasses (which is not …

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280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back #8 – The Case of the Frightened Playboy

May 1, 2025 • 13 mins

Gain access to the entire 280 Mysteries archive, plus get every episode of 372 Pages a week early, when you sign up for our Patreon! http://patreon.com/372pages There’s no bunnies or smoking jackets, but there is a frightened playboy. Let’s see if Mike can solve the case!

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372 Pages Ep #185 – Ugly Love Ep 2 – Kissing. SO Much Kissing…

April 21, 2025 • 155 mins

Don’t be a Dylan, support the podcast on Patreon! https://patreon.com/372pages Follow us on TikTok! Look, Cap is a ghost. Or a specter. Or a haint, or something old-timey, and Tater is clearly either dead or in another realm (full disclosure: that is Mike’s guess. Conor has other theories) but no matter what realm we’re in, …

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280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back #7 – The Case of Cupid’s Arrow

April 14, 2025 • 17 mins

Support the podcast on Patreon, where you get access to the complete 280 archive, every episode a week early, and other fun stuff! https://patreon.com/372pages Join us once again in Batshitcrazytown, USA, aka Idaville, where Encyclopedia Brown is attempting to solve a case that initially appears to be an attempted murder, but fortunately only ends up …

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372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}280 Mysteries Ep 15 – The Case of the Missing Watch Goose

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}372 Pages #194 – Deception Point Ep 2 – Ice Bullets, Snifters and Puggish Smiles!

280 Mysteries Ep 14 – The Case of the Hungry Hitchhiker

372 Pages #193 – Deception Point Ep 1 – Save Your Meal of Horse Till AFTER You Read About M. Tench

372 Pages #192 – Book #35: Deception Point by Dan Brown!

280 Mysteries Ep 13 – The Case of the Foot Warmers

372 Pages #191 – Night of the Crabs Ep 3 – Limpet Mines, Potholers, Mills Bombs and Constitutionals!

280 Mysteries Ep 12 – The Case of the Five Clues

372 Pages #190 – Night of the Crabs Ep 2 – If You’re Gonna Do That Anywhere, Do it in the Spiky Grass!

280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back Ep 37 – The Case of the Carousel Horse – W/ Ken Jennings

372 Pages #189 – Night of the Crabs Ep 1 – Grandpa NO!

280 Mysteries – Ep 11 – The Case of the Stolen Pigs

280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back Ep 10 – The Case of the Bird Watcher

372 Pages #188 – Ugly Love Ep 5 – This is Brad’s World Now

280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back #9 – The Case of the Missing Penny

372 Pages #187 – Ugly Love Ep 4 – No, Cap Does NOT Sport a Thong

372 Pages Ep #186 – Ugly Love Ep 3 – Dillon = HERO

280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back #8 – The Case of the Frightened Playboy

372 Pages Ep #185 – Ugly Love Ep 2 – Kissing. SO Much Kissing…

280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back #7 – The Case of Cupid’s Arrow

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280 Mysteries Ep 15 – The Case of the Missing Watch Goose

372 Pages #194 – Deception Point Ep 2 – Ice Bullets, Snifters and Puggish Smiles!