Footballland
How do you design football themed theme park rides for a football themed theme park? This is how! Welcome to Footballland. Despite having little to no theme park acumen between them, Anthony Richardson, Mark Davis and Ryan Baxter each pitch a football themed theme park attraction or facility every week. Owing to their lack of any abilities in this field, Anthony, Mark and Ryan regularly enlist the help of special guests including comedians, footballers, musicians and journalists, none of whom have any experience building theme parks either, but at least we blame somebody else for a little while. We also receive regular contributions from our ever expanding team of Patreons. So come join us at Footballland! "Our Goal Is Your Dreams...!" "Where Dreams Are Kicked About!" "Come In And Kick The Magic?" "The Beautiful Game (Park (needs some work))!" "Come Score Some Pleasure!" Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episodes
Come help us build the world's first football theme park, Footballland!
Anthony Richardson has accidentally been given 1 Billion US Dollars by the state of Qatar, to build the world's first football theme park in Qatar, to be ready in time for World Cup 2022. Unfortunately, Anthony has never built a theme park before, so he's enlisted the help of his friend and colleague Mark Davison. Unfortunately, Mark Davison has no experienc...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
FOOTBALLLAND EP 1 - Featuring Special Guest Jimmy Conrad!
RIDES DESIGNED - The Conrad3000, The Leicester City Fairytale Ride, The Tunnel Of Vagner/Donald Love.
After Anthony accidentally receives $1 Billion from Qatar to build the world's first football theme park in time for the World Cup in ...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
FOOTBALLLAND EP 2 - Featuring Special Guest Marek Larwood.
RIDES DESIGNED - The Football Hunger Games, Steve 'Mechanical' Bull
After Anthony accidentally receives $1 Billion from Qatar to build the world's first football theme park in time for the World Cup in 2022, he names himself CEO, gives...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
FOOTBALLLAND EP 3 - Featuring Special Guest Nim Odedra
RIDES DESIGNED - The 'Betrayal Monorail' with Giggsy's Garden, plus The Sir Alex Ferguson Mindgames Experience
After Anthony accidentally receives $1 Billion from Qatar to build the world's first football theme park in time for the World Cu...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
Footballland Episode 4 - Introducing Footballland's premier dining experience: Asscoffiation Noshball!
That is a play on words of 'Association Football.' It's nothing to do with 'scoffing ass' or 'noshing off balls.'
This restaurant features a multi-course tasting menu which leads football fa...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
FOOTBALLLAND Ep 5 - Feat Eggsy From Goldie Lookin' Chain
Eggsy popped into Footballand HQ this week to pitch his Westworld-style ride idea - The School Sports Football Simulator. Relive your schooldays on Footballland's state-of-the-art muddy football pitch, complete with overbearing PE teacher and gigantic 'bigger boys,' all wh...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
FOOTBALLLAND Ep 6 - Feat Pete Donaldson
Roll Up! Roll Up! Come join Pete Donaldson as he pitches a brand new carnival sideshow at Footballland - Paul Dummett's Meat & Potato Funfair! The fair includes Gazza's Hook a Duck, The Drink Driving Dodgems and Steve McClaren whispering accents in your ear from around the world!
T...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
In another successful and productive meeting, we welcome two more rides to the world's first football themed theme park!
This week Mark Davison brings us his vision of The Squeaky Bumtime Arena, Footballland's stadium, which is shaped like a bottom. Also we welcome comedians The Delightful Sausag...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
We have another episode of Footballland for you, which features THREE new attractions at Footballland:
- Enhancers Sports Bar. This bar is stocked with performance enhancing drugs, enabling guests to relax, socialise and beat their 100 metre sprint time on the purpose built barside running track.
-...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
Greetings, Footballland fans.
Footballland the theme park is really coming together, and in meeting 9 we can exclusively reveal FOUR new attractions:
- The International Break hotel, situated inconveniently on the other side of Qatar, is the official hotel partner of Footballland. We welcome guests to stay ...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
"Would we be able to hear Sir Geoff Hurst making love?"
It's another busy and productive meeting at Footballland towers, as this week we invite Guardian football writer Sachin Nakrani to pitch his ride.
- Ryan has feedback from Geri Halliwell on the 'Spice Boys Medley' at the Steve Kabbaret
- Mark unveils...
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Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
"Would Princess Diana poo?"
It's another busy and productive meeting at Footballland towers, as this week we invite football writer Nick Miller to pitch his ride.
- Intern Ryan has been out and about collecting sounds of John Carver eating for the ASMR experience at Paul Dummett's Meat And Potato Funfai...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
"It's a sad end to an otherwise successful meeting."
It's been another huge week at Footballland Towers, as we continue to build the world's first football theme park, using the 1 billion dollars we were accidentally given by the state of Qatar.
This week our special guest is none other than WAYNE ...
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Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
"I'm two years old. I don't think it's very nice to see your own fans booing you. I don't think it's very nice at all."
We are delighted to unveil Meeting 13 of Footballland, featuring comedian and presenter Tom Deacon's addition to the park - The England National House of Horrors.
In this terrifying ex...
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Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
"Not sure we need the pit crew anymore."
The bees are buzzing, the birds are singing, and Roy Keane is on his way to Footballland, taking charge of his very own theme park attraction, Roy Keane's 'Stick It Up Your B*llocks' Dodgems!
Jim Daly, comedian and host of FYP Podcast came up with the idea, and i...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
"Willian gave me a hug once, and it was lovely."
It was another very successful meeting in the world of Footballland. We are proud to announce FIVE new rides:
- Special guests, comedy double act Larry & Paul, pitched the Elland Roadacoaster, in which guests can experience exactly what it's like to be...
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Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
"I think many guests would love to hear Neymar reading A Brief History of Time by Professor Stephen Hawking."
It's been yet another hugely successful meeting at Footballland HQ.
We now have over 30 (THIRTY) rides, experiences and attractions, and it's now time to start thinking of the all-important...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
It's been another hugely successful meeting at Footballland HQ.
After a record TWO whole weeks spent in the Wayne Lineker Fibreglass Testicle Green Room, Larry & Paul emerge to pitch their second ride for Footballland - It Doesn't Actually Really Matter That Much: The Ride. This meeting was a tense one...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
Listeners to Footballland have rightly asked us - "Why isn't there a ride at your theme park that celebrates the ridiculousness of Arsenal Football Club?" It's a question we've been pondering ourselves, so we duly invited Arsenal Twitter scholar Laura Kirk to come up with a solution.
Laura sealed hers...
Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland
Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland
It's been another incredibly successful meeting at Footballland HQ.
Anthony has added a nostalgic feel to the theme park, in tribute to those times in the 1970s when a dog always seemed to make its way onto a football pitch. His idea is very simple - we let loose a live dog in the theme park, while so...
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