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December 22, 2020 32 mins

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Greetings, Footballland fans.

Footballland the theme park is really coming together, and in meeting 9 we can exclusively reveal FOUR new attractions:


- The International Break hotel, situated inconveniently on the other side of Qatar, is the official hotel partner of Footballland. We welcome guests to stay overnight, as long as they come alone and are not carrying an injury.


- Special guest Adam Savage pitches Zinedine Zidane's Mamma Mia Mayhem, a rollercoaster allowing you to become Zinedine Zidane for 90 seconds, destroying the whole of Italy with your cultured, granite head.


- Patreon James Knowles' "Crazy Gang Experience," which randomly selects 11 guests on entry to the park to beat up random fellow punters until they are ejected from the premises.


- Christmas Fixture Congestion. Mark proposes that on one day of the year opening times at the park are resticted to just one hour, so that guests have to race between rides as quickly as possible.


But sad news from Ryan, who has chatted with the FA. They have some feedback on Footballland's restaurant, Asscoffiation Noshball.

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