Doc's Dumb Dumb of the Day

A Sheriff's deputy in Port Orchard, Washington pulled over a 34-year-old man at 12:30 in the morning. 
That man took off and got away, briefly. Authorities caught up with him an hour and a half later after he had crashed his electric unicycle in a ditch. He got a DUI for drunk unicycling. Impressive.

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All 33-year-old Patrick Alexander had to do was pay his $250 bond and the Chesterfield County judge would let him go. Patrick tried to pay with 3 counterfeit $100 bills, even telling the judge to "keep the change."  

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When 31-year-old Nadine Kaufman was pulled over in Boca Raton, FL, police asked for her license and registration. Instead she handed them a bag of Q-Tips and batteries. It didn't get any better after that.

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Stealing baseball cards from Walmart doesn't seem like a huge sin. Stealing over $1000 in cards over 5 days is harder to explain, especially when you're the Very Reverend Aidan Smith, Head Priest and Dean of of Trinity Episcopal Cathedral in Pittsburgh.  

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A man on a motorcycle was being chased by police when he decided to ditch it ... and his shoes ... and his backpack ... and his jacket ... and his pants. Police dogs had no problem tracking his scent right to his hiding spot.

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Teara Smith was found, uninvited, in the kitchen of a family's home in Springfield, Missouri. She'd made a mess before enjoying a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and getting to know the family dog. After admitting to some marijuana use and saying she "mistook the house for a fair," Teara was arrested.

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33-year-old Mitchell Fairbarn of Ontario, Canada made some memories, and headlines, last week in Vegas. He took a Flamingo out of it's habitat at The Flamingo Hotel because he thought it needed help. Sounds more like Mitchell needed to sober up.

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24-year-old Spencer Anderson was arrested after destroying at least 3 license plate readers in Waterford, Michigan. Cops knew it was him since the readers caught images of their own destruction and the man who did it.

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While his Mom waited back at the test center, a 26-year-old man in St Helens, England was pulled over while taking his driver's test. At first it was just for a busted taillight, but when cops caught a whiff of marijuana, the test was over. 

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South Korean tax authorities learned the hard way, and at a cost of $5.6 million U.S., that before you brag online about your recent crypto bust make sure the photos you're posting don't include the wallet recovery phrases. Someone might take advantage of that.

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When Travis Meir of Minneapolis ordered a hydration vest off Amazon, his shipment included a loaded handgun. Amazon's trying to figure out how THAT happened.

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39-year-old Felicia Howard tried to bail someone out of jail in Madisonville, KY. "Tried" is the operative word because she handed over a stack of $100's, all stamped with "For Motion Picture Use Only."

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27-year-old Jonathan McMillian tried to run and hide from police after a traffic stop. He should've just kept running and skipped the hiding ... because he's not very good at it. 

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19-year-old Christopher Garcia-Caminos is now very familiar with Florida's "Super-Speeder" law. He was clocked doing 129 mph in a 55 mph zone in Clearwater. His excuse was, McDonald's took too long making his food and he was late getting back to work.  

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It was a "swing & a miss" for 37-year-old Justin Allen of Ormond-By-The-Sea, FL. He was arrested after taking a hammer to a white Honda SUV in a grocery store parking lot. Justin thought he was exacting revenge against an ex-girlfriend. Turns out the vehicle belonged to a grocery store employee. Didn't matter, either way ... Justin was getting arrested. 

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If you need to get to the Sheriff's Office to pay a fine for your open container violation, maybe don't get drunk and drive yourself there. 

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26-year-old Dean Young thought he found an easy target in Hialeah, FL. A landscaper had left their van open and unattended, so Dean climbed up on in. Things went downhill fast when the landscaper locked the van with Dean inside it.

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Brandon Mattingly mowed down 15 or so mailboxes in a residential area of Mount Vernon, Indiana. His SUV inflicted quite a bit of damage, but it's hard to know if it was on purpose or just really bad driving. Alcohol was involved. 

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30-year-old Josiah Darling felt the need to lie to police when they asked for his name. To his credit, he picked (possibly) the biggest liar in the history of television characters. 

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