November 24, 2023 • 5 mins
The Obnoxious Mr. Michael Oppenheimer is back, and would love to sell Kelsey some "holiday nuts".
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tap, Scary, Yes, what's
it all about?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Well, Chris's girlfriend Kelsey hates telemarketers. She doesn't listen to
the show, so that's why she'd be a perfect phone
tap victim, especially by our relentless telephone telemarketer, mister Michael Oppenheimer.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I like, can't you speak about him in the third person?
Like exactly, like I'm not Hammerson and you really are.
So here we go. Let's see what it's all about.
Scary's I mean Oppenheimer's phone taip. Hello, good afternoon. This
is mister Michael Oppenheimer with Zachary's Nuts. How are you
doing today?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Niws, I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Zachary's Nuts offers a wide array of nuts for your
holiday season. This handsome handled tree basket includes sun dried apricots,
honey roosted peanuts.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I'm really not interested, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Which is the quantity you'd like to add to your cart? Hello,
good efternoon. This is mister Michael Opa with Zachary's. Oh
how are you doing today?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I was interested.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
We have for you today special offer that you can't refuse.
It's the holiday entertaining nuts sampler basket from Zachary.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
I'm not interested. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
This gormy wicker nut basket comes.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
With interested thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Certainly you celebrate the holidays, don't you. Hello?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Hello, this is.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Mister Michael Oppenheimer with Zachary's Nuts.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Are you kidding me? Do you know what your nuts?
If you don't stop calling me, I just imagine.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
The look on your guest's face when you blop Zachary's
nuts on your coffee table for the holidays, I don't can.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I want to speak to a manager. And let me
speak to a manager right now.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
I am the manager name. My name is mister Michael Oppenheimer.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
You're the worst manager I've ever heard of in my life.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I'm a telemony.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
You can't call me anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Do you know? Zachary's nuts can also be put in
the oven?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
You you can actually the recording? Can you hear me?
Can you can you hear what I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I can hear what you're saying. I can hear what
you're saying. Which credit card would you like to use today?
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Are you nuts?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Yes? In fact, we're full of nuts. Zachary's also offers
the holiday party tray of uncooked nuts where you massage
each nut with some oil, then you stuff them in
the oven and nurse.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I'm allergic to nuts. My kids are allergic nuts. Everyone
in my family's allergic to nuts.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Introducing for this holiday season our Bavarian nut lollipops. You
lick on the hard candy and when you get to
the center, you've still got a nut to suck up.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
You're wasting my day that you have the most grating
I didn't get, I've ever heard, I've got you should
not be nicking calls.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Let me dangle these nuts in front of your face.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You're nuts who listened to me.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
We will also throw in this Christmas rippon which will
be tied around Zachary's nuts. We have the Merry Christmas
Harvest Nuts Sampler gift box to the.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Pants off of this company. You're insulting me, and you're
assaulting me with a phone call. I'm over it.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
We do have assaulted and an unsulted gift box in
case you have high blood pressure.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Oh my god, really really oh a gift box?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Stop going hello?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Hey for brains continue.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
This is mister Michael up and Ormond with Zachary's holiday
entertaining the basket.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
You don't want your nuts.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
But nuts bring cheer to the mouths of so many.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Already.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh, nuts weigh two pounds. Now you can have the
nut mix, including cashew, dry fruit, smoked almonds. But wait, there's.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
More to your family. But you're not on the coffee
table at your own hound.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
We also have little nut sects for just five dollars
and ninety nine cents.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
That's a little nuts. You married? Are you married? Did
your wife hate you?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Because right now they make a great stocking stuffer.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Hello, Hello, Yeah, you like this is?
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Mister Michael?
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Hello, how do you want? This? Is? This is?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
All of Zachary's nuts are carefully handled and handpicked.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
What what I can't hear?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Your expert team of fifteen nut pluckers who sort through
and choose only the finest nuts.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
What? What did he say? What did you say?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I said? How many trays of these would you like
to buy? Today?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
How many prays? I want?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Miss? I've been handling Zachary's nuts for four years myself,
and I gotta say that Zachary's are the best nuts
I've ever swallowed.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I don't want to and though I don't.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Recommend you swallowing nuts. Whole chritz.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Is going on right now? What is going on?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Is this this scar This is scary Jones. But I
was the rand in the morning show laughing, that's your boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I'm gonna kill you, going to kill you? Are you
kidding me? Yeah? What did you look at? You with
your friends is what you do and you guys get together,
you click on me. It's not my friends, it's the
radio to this.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
It's Elvis Duran in the morning. So don't you listen
to the radio in the morning.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I'm trying to do the Elvis Duran phone tap.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
This phone tab was pre recorded permission granted by all participates.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
The Elvis Duran phone tab only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show
Don't answer the phone.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tap, Scary, Yes, what's
it all about?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Well, Chris's girlfriend Kelsey hates telemarketers. She doesn't listen to
the show, so that's why she'd be a perfect phone
tap victim, especially by our relentless telephone telemarketer, mister Michael Oppenheimer.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I like, can't you speak about him in the third person?
Like exactly, like I'm not Hammerson and you really are.
So here we go. Let's see what it's all about.
Scary's I mean Oppenheimer's phone taip. Hello, good afternoon. This
is mister Michael Oppenheimer with Zachary's Nuts. How are you
doing today?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Niws, I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Zachary's Nuts offers a wide array of nuts for your
holiday season. This handsome handled tree basket includes sun dried apricots,
honey roosted peanuts.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I'm really not interested, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Which is the quantity you'd like to add to your cart? Hello,
good efternoon. This is mister Michael Opa with Zachary's. Oh
how are you doing today?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I was interested.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
We have for you today special offer that you can't refuse.
It's the holiday entertaining nuts sampler basket from Zachary.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
I'm not interested. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
This gormy wicker nut basket comes.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
With interested thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Certainly you celebrate the holidays, don't you. Hello?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Hello, this is.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Mister Michael Oppenheimer with Zachary's Nuts.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Are you kidding me? Do you know what your nuts?
If you don't stop calling me, I just imagine.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
The look on your guest's face when you blop Zachary's
nuts on your coffee table for the holidays, I don't can.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I want to speak to a manager. And let me
speak to a manager right now.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
I am the manager name. My name is mister Michael Oppenheimer.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
You're the worst manager I've ever heard of in my life.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I'm a telemony.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
You can't call me anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Do you know? Zachary's nuts can also be put in
the oven?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
You you can actually the recording? Can you hear me?
Can you can you hear what I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I can hear what you're saying. I can hear what
you're saying. Which credit card would you like to use today?
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Are you nuts?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Yes? In fact, we're full of nuts. Zachary's also offers
the holiday party tray of uncooked nuts where you massage
each nut with some oil, then you stuff them in
the oven and nurse.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I'm allergic to nuts. My kids are allergic nuts. Everyone
in my family's allergic to nuts.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Introducing for this holiday season our Bavarian nut lollipops. You
lick on the hard candy and when you get to
the center, you've still got a nut to suck up.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
You're wasting my day that you have the most grating
I didn't get, I've ever heard, I've got you should
not be nicking calls.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Let me dangle these nuts in front of your face.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You're nuts who listened to me.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
We will also throw in this Christmas rippon which will
be tied around Zachary's nuts. We have the Merry Christmas
Harvest Nuts Sampler gift box to the.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Pants off of this company. You're insulting me, and you're
assaulting me with a phone call. I'm over it.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
We do have assaulted and an unsulted gift box in
case you have high blood pressure.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Oh my god, really really oh a gift box?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Stop going hello?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Hey for brains continue.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
This is mister Michael up and Ormond with Zachary's holiday
entertaining the basket.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
You don't want your nuts.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
But nuts bring cheer to the mouths of so many.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Already.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh, nuts weigh two pounds. Now you can have the
nut mix, including cashew, dry fruit, smoked almonds. But wait, there's.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
More to your family. But you're not on the coffee
table at your own hound.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
We also have little nut sects for just five dollars
and ninety nine cents.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
That's a little nuts. You married? Are you married? Did
your wife hate you?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Because right now they make a great stocking stuffer.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Hello, Hello, Yeah, you like this is?
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Mister Michael?
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Hello, how do you want? This? Is? This is?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
All of Zachary's nuts are carefully handled and handpicked.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
What what I can't hear?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Your expert team of fifteen nut pluckers who sort through
and choose only the finest nuts.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
What? What did he say? What did you say?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I said? How many trays of these would you like
to buy? Today?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
How many prays? I want?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Miss? I've been handling Zachary's nuts for four years myself,
and I gotta say that Zachary's are the best nuts
I've ever swallowed.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I don't want to and though I don't.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Recommend you swallowing nuts. Whole chritz.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Is going on right now? What is going on?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Is this this scar This is scary Jones. But I
was the rand in the morning show laughing, that's your boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I'm gonna kill you, going to kill you? Are you
kidding me? Yeah? What did you look at? You with
your friends is what you do and you guys get together,
you click on me. It's not my friends, it's the
radio to this.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
It's Elvis Duran in the morning. So don't you listen
to the radio in the morning.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I'm trying to do the Elvis Duran phone tap.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
This phone tab was pre recorded permission granted by all participates.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
The Elvis Duran phone tab only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show
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