Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you
need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com. And you know,
you never know, we could be reading your letter live
on the air, just like we're going to read this
one right here, right now, and it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Thanking if you subject my neighbor hid my side, dude.
Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been married for almost ten years.
My husband had a baby with another woman six years
ago and things haven't been the same since then. I
was broken and felt like I was not good enough
to be loved. I left my husband for two years,
(00:47):
and he got baptized and gave his testimony to the
church and asked for forgiveness. Our pastor pressured me to
move back home and fix my marriage. I embraced my
stepdaughter and we're now, but my husband and I were
never the same. I confided with one of the choir
members at our church and he knew my history with
(01:09):
my husband. We ended up having a sexual and a
spiritual connection, and it's helped with my self esteem. My
boyfriend started coming to our house and he parked in
my neighbor's driveway to hide his car. My neighbor was
cool with it and said she was happy that I
was getting my group back. I trusted her with my secret.
(01:31):
I figured my boyfriend wouldn't hurt me since he knew
about trauma I had been through. Sunday, my husband was
at work, so my boyfriend said he would stop by
for a quickie after church. I skipped church to prepare
for him. Around two pm, I started calling and texting him,
but he didn't answer. I called to ask my neighbor
(01:52):
if she'd seen him, and she didn't answer. I have
to walk around her house to see her driveway, and
my intuition told me to go over there. My boyfriend's
car was right there. I knocked and my boyfriend came
to the door shirtless. He said I'm sorry. I tried
to push past him to get to my neighbor, but
(02:14):
he strong armed me. They said they would call the
police if I didn't leave. My neighbor hid my side
dude from me, and I'm not losing another man. How
does this keep happening. That's the wrong question you should
be asking, how how did this happen? How do you
(02:34):
move on from this mess? I mean, one thing for sure,
one thing for sure in this letter is that none
of you guys need to be cheating, None of you,
from your husband to you, to your side dude, to
your neighbor. You're all very bad at cheating, and then
you get mean with it when you get caught, like
you know your boyfriend and your neighbor did. That was
(02:55):
terrible what they did, said they were going to call
the police on you. You're all very bad at it,
and your pastor should have stayed out of your business.
He was wrong too, You were vulnerable, you were broken
at the time. He had no right to pressure you
to take your husband back after your husband had a
baby with another woman. Okay, that's strictly your decision. He
(03:17):
should have recommended therapy or counseling or something like that
for you guys, so you could regain some self esteem
and maybe start a forgiveness process. Whether you took him
back or not, you guys could have at least talked
it out or tried You and your husband I think
would have been much better going your separate ways, because
you said your marriage was never the same after the baby,
(03:37):
and that's understandable. And I know it's possible to forgive,
but to get back with your husband after that kind
of betrayal is nearly impossible. And by the way I
say thank you, I do want to thank you for
embracing the baby because it's definitely, definitely not her fault.
She's an innocent bystander in all of this. But it's over.
(03:58):
It's over now. You and your husband may as well
stop the bleeding, get a divorce, and I suggest you
changed churches and if you can move, because this is
just a mess, your neighbor, it's just too messy.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Steve Well, you know this letter has I think Shirley
pointed it out, but this letter has a lot of
people doing a lot of wrong stuff in this letter.
And it's so much wrong in this letter that there's
no right that can come out of it.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I mean there is.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I've only found one right thing you did in this
letter that I thought had bore married.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I'll share it with you.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
You've been married for ten years, your husband had a
baby with another woman six years ago, and things haven't
been the same. Since then I was broken, felt like
you weren't good enough to be loved. Now, you left
your husband for two years.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You didn't divorce him.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
You left him for two years so you all were
still married. That's how you got to the total of
ten years.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
So you left him for two years.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
He got baptized, gave his testimony to the church and
asked for forgiveness. Fine, y'all could have forgave it, but
then you pucked your pastor pressured you to move back
home and fix my marriage. Here's a problem. You didn't
even want your husband back. You was gone for two
years trying to pull yourself together. You didn't even want him.
(05:34):
Why would you move back in a house to repair
a marriage that you don't even want. You could have
forgave him, but forgiven it don't mean forgetting. I learned
that from Bishop Jacobs. Now here's the only redeeming thing.
I embraced my stepdaughter and with Bestie's. Now well, if
that's admirable, love it. But my husband and I were
(05:57):
never the same. The reason you were never the same
was because you might have forgiven him, but you couldn't
forget with him, and you were never comfortable with him
and his explanation of it. I confided in one of
the choir members at your church. He knew your history
with your husband. Y'all end up having sex and a
spiritual connection, and it helped me with myself.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Esteve, Why do people mix God with their sin?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
So you have a sexual relationship with the choir member,
So you want to throw the lawd in it because
it was a spiritual connection, No, it wasn't. It was
a church connection. He was a chome member and you
are a regular member and ain't a spiritual connection.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Y'all met at the church.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Hang on, Steve, hang on, we'll have that too. Your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry letter, subject my neighbor hid my side dude.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Come on, Steve.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject my neighbor hid
my side dude.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Okay, quickly, lady was married for ten years, six years ago.
If her husband had an affair, had a baby with
another woman, and things ain't been the same since you
were broken.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
You left your husband for two.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Years for two years, but you were still married, but
you left him for two years. Now he got baptized
and gave his testimony to the church and asked for forgiveness.
Then your pastor pressured me to move back home and
fix my marriage problem with that.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
You didn't want to.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
You didn't want to, and like Shirley said, pastor really
should have stayed out of it. But pastors should have
been more concerned with the way you were feeling. You
should have went and talked to somebody about what you
was feeling, because you didn't even want the man back.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
So now you took him back and you worked on it.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
But you embraced your step daughter and y'all besties, which
is good of you. But you and your husband were
never the same because you couldn't move past And if
you can't move.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Past it, then you got to move on. That's what
we should do.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
If you can't get past the cheating, then you got
to get past the relationship. Just move on or else
you're gonna live there trying to grapple with And it
ain't your fault. I confind it with the choir members
at our church. He knew your history with your husband.
We ended up having a sexual and spiritual connection and
help with my self esteem. Oh now because somebody won't you,
which ain't hard to find. Now your self esteem is over.
(08:23):
But now y'all want to have a sexual and spiritual connection.
It's not a spiritual connection, it's just a church connection.
He just a dude in a choir that knew you
was broken and vulnerable, stepped in and said all the
things you wanted to hear, and now he at you.
My boyfriend started coming to our house and he would
(08:46):
park in my neighbor's driveway to hide his car. So
now you're married, but now you got this boyfriend that's coming.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Over your house.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
That know you married, and parking in your neighbor's driveway
to hide his car. My neighbor was cool with it,
says she was happy. I was getting my groove back
all this while you was married. Now I ain't I
understand where you're coming from, because you was hurt and
it's to get back moved. I got that, But you
do know this ain't cool. And if it was cool,
(09:19):
you wouldn't have had to hide his car in your
neighbor's drive I trusted her with my secret. I figured
my boyfriend wouldn't hurt me since he knew about the
trauma I had been through. Your boyfriend was the one
who took advantage of your trump. Now you're thinking he
won't hurt you. What did he did that won't hurt you?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Why?
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Because he wanted to sleep with you. Give you your
groove back, give yourself esteem back. You misunderstood what this
was for a lady. Sunday, my husband was at work,
so my boyfriend said he stopped by for a quickie
after church.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Oh yeah, he taking care of you. Oh he cared
about you. You down to a quickie? Now?
Speaker 3 (09:57):
I skipped church to prepare for him. Now you ain't
even going down there to see God no more, so
you stay at the house and get touched up on
her quicket. I don't know how y'all think some good
supposed to come out of this? You skipping church now
so you can get done. I skipped church to prepare
for him. Around two pm. I started calling and texting him,
(10:19):
but he didn't answer. I called her as my neighbor
had seen him. She ain't asked. I had to walk
around to her house to see her driveway, and my
intuition had told me to go over there. My boyfriend's
call was right there, right there. I knocked, and my
boyfriend came to the door shirtless. He opened the door
(10:41):
and said, I'm sorry, damn bet, I'm sorry. I'm so
sorry that the.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Dog that I am.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
And now you know, because I was just taking advantage
of your situa, I mean, what you want me to do?
You got her husband? He just up at the church
right now, So I was just gonna come back tap
right quick. And then you know, I was over here
with your neighbor, and your neighbor know I'm tapping, and
then looking look at your neighbor, you know, she said, Well,
since you're over there tapping, I ain't got nobody. You
(11:10):
can park in my driveway. You might as well come
on in. What did you hiding, folks, cause I ain't
gonna hide. You can park in my driveway. Everybody see.
You'll call over him. Let's gonna do this here, he said,
I'm sorry. I tried to push past him to get
to my neighbor, but he's strong army.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Now, Now what you gonna with the neighbor? Ass?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
You the one married your neighbors sinks. The shirtless dude
is the one that went over there. What you pushing
past him for? See, you got all to blame in
the wrong place. They said they will call the police
and off now they finna turn your ass.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Who damn what happened to black lives?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Now?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Lord himbers?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
What what happened to black lives?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Now?
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Now they I finna call the police on your ass?
You got to get back over to the because your
husband gonna wonder what do they call the police?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Own it? Because the choir boy was over here without
his shirt on.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
My neighbor hid my side dude from me, And I'm
not losing another man.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
He not your man.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Your man is at the house, the one you didn't want,
the one that got the other lady pregnant while y'all
was married. He your man. You nothing to lose another man.
He not your man.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
He choir boy.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Y'all need to do some word research on him because
that ain't his only stop. How does this keep happening
to me? Because you keep thinking wrong. First of all,
you took a man back you didn't want. Then you
started sleeping with a man that didn't want you. You
see what's having So everybody is aligned with they needs
(12:51):
and ain't nobody caring about none of your needs. You
need to take some time to do you. You spend
time with you and cut off all these losers loose.
You need to move out to the house with your
husband because that ain't working.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram, at
Steve Harvey FM and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast
on demand. Coming up next to is Junior and Sports Talk.
Right after this, you're listening Day Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you
need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com. And you know,
you never know, we could be reading your letter live
on the air, just like we're going to read this
one right here, right now, and it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Thanking if you subject my neighbor hid my side, dude.
Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been married for almost ten years.
My husband had a baby with another woman six years
ago and things haven't been the same since then. I
was broken and felt like I was not good enough
to be loved. I left my husband for two years,
(00:47):
and he got baptized and gave his testimony to the
church and asked for forgiveness. Our pastor pressured me to
move back home and fix my marriage. I embraced my
stepdaughter and we're now, but my husband and I were
never the same. I confided with one of the choir
members at our church and he knew my history with
(01:09):
my husband. We ended up having a sexual and a
spiritual connection, and it's helped with my self esteem. My
boyfriend started coming to our house and he parked in
my neighbor's driveway to hide his car. My neighbor was
cool with it and said she was happy that I
was getting my group back. I trusted her with my secret.
(01:31):
I figured my boyfriend wouldn't hurt me since he knew
about trauma I had been through. Sunday, my husband was
at work, so my boyfriend said he would stop by
for a quickie after church. I skipped church to prepare
for him. Around two pm, I started calling and texting him,
but he didn't answer. I called to ask my neighbor
(01:52):
if she'd seen him, and she didn't answer. I have
to walk around her house to see her driveway, and
my intuition told me to go over there. My boyfriend's
car was right there. I knocked and my boyfriend came
to the door shirtless. He said I'm sorry. I tried
to push past him to get to my neighbor, but
(02:14):
he strong armed me. They said they would call the
police if I didn't leave. My neighbor hid my side
dude from me, and I'm not losing another man. How
does this keep happening. That's the wrong question you should
be asking, how how did this happen? How do you
(02:34):
move on from this mess? I mean, one thing for sure,
one thing for sure in this letter is that none
of you guys need to be cheating, None of you,
from your husband to you, to your side dude, to
your neighbor. You're all very bad at cheating, and then
you get mean with it when you get caught, like
you know your boyfriend and your neighbor did. That was
(02:55):
terrible what they did, said they were going to call
the police on you. You're all very bad at it,
and your pastor should have stayed out of your business.
He was wrong too, You were vulnerable, you were broken
at the time. He had no right to pressure you
to take your husband back after your husband had a
baby with another woman. Okay, that's strictly your decision. He
(03:17):
should have recommended therapy or counseling or something like that
for you guys, so you could regain some self esteem
and maybe start a forgiveness process. Whether you took him
back or not, you guys could have at least talked
it out or tried You and your husband I think
would have been much better going your separate ways, because
you said your marriage was never the same after the baby,
(03:37):
and that's understandable. And I know it's possible to forgive,
but to get back with your husband after that kind
of betrayal is nearly impossible. And by the way I
say thank you, I do want to thank you for
embracing the baby because it's definitely, definitely not her fault.
She's an innocent bystander in all of this. But it's over.
(03:58):
It's over now. You and your husband may as well
stop the bleeding, get a divorce, and I suggest you
changed churches and if you can move, because this is
just a mess, your neighbor, it's just too messy.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Steve Well, you know this letter has I think Shirley
pointed it out, but this letter has a lot of
people doing a lot of wrong stuff in this letter.
And it's so much wrong in this letter that there's
no right that can come out of it.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I mean there is.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I've only found one right thing you did in this
letter that I thought had bore married.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I'll share it with you.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
You've been married for ten years, your husband had a
baby with another woman six years ago, and things haven't
been the same. Since then I was broken, felt like
you weren't good enough to be loved. Now, you left
your husband for two years.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You didn't divorce him.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
You left him for two years so you all were
still married. That's how you got to the total of
ten years.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
So you left him for two years.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
He got baptized, gave his testimony to the church and
asked for forgiveness. Fine, y'all could have forgave it, but
then you pucked your pastor pressured you to move back
home and fix my marriage. Here's a problem. You didn't
even want your husband back. You was gone for two
years trying to pull yourself together. You didn't even want him.
(05:34):
Why would you move back in a house to repair
a marriage that you don't even want. You could have
forgave him, but forgiven it don't mean forgetting. I learned
that from Bishop Jacobs. Now here's the only redeeming thing.
I embraced my stepdaughter and with Bestie's. Now well, if
that's admirable, love it. But my husband and I were
(05:57):
never the same. The reason you were never the same
was because you might have forgiven him, but you couldn't
forget with him, and you were never comfortable with him
and his explanation of it. I confided in one of
the choir members at your church. He knew your history
with your husband. Y'all end up having sex and a
spiritual connection, and it helped me with myself.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Esteve, Why do people mix God with their sin?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
So you have a sexual relationship with the choir member,
So you want to throw the lawd in it because
it was a spiritual connection, No, it wasn't. It was
a church connection. He was a chome member and you
are a regular member and ain't a spiritual connection.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Y'all met at the church.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Hang on, Steve, hang on, we'll have that too. Your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry letter, subject my neighbor hid my side dude.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Come on, Steve.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject my neighbor hid
my side dude.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Okay, quickly, lady was married for ten years, six years ago.
If her husband had an affair, had a baby with
another woman, and things ain't been the same since you
were broken.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
You left your husband for two.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Years for two years, but you were still married, but
you left him for two years. Now he got baptized
and gave his testimony to the church and asked for forgiveness.
Then your pastor pressured me to move back home and
fix my marriage problem with that.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
You didn't want to.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
You didn't want to, and like Shirley said, pastor really
should have stayed out of it. But pastors should have
been more concerned with the way you were feeling. You
should have went and talked to somebody about what you
was feeling, because you didn't even want the man back.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
So now you took him back and you worked on it.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
But you embraced your step daughter and y'all besties, which
is good of you. But you and your husband were
never the same because you couldn't move past And if
you can't move.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Past it, then you got to move on. That's what
we should do.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
If you can't get past the cheating, then you got
to get past the relationship. Just move on or else
you're gonna live there trying to grapple with And it
ain't your fault. I confind it with the choir members
at our church. He knew your history with your husband.
We ended up having a sexual and spiritual connection and
help with my self esteem. Oh now because somebody won't you,
which ain't hard to find. Now your self esteem is over.
(08:23):
But now y'all want to have a sexual and spiritual connection.
It's not a spiritual connection, it's just a church connection.
He just a dude in a choir that knew you
was broken and vulnerable, stepped in and said all the
things you wanted to hear, and now he at you.
My boyfriend started coming to our house and he would
(08:46):
park in my neighbor's driveway to hide his car. So
now you're married, but now you got this boyfriend that's coming.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Over your house.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
That know you married, and parking in your neighbor's driveway
to hide his car. My neighbor was cool with it,
says she was happy. I was getting my groove back
all this while you was married. Now I ain't I
understand where you're coming from, because you was hurt and
it's to get back moved. I got that, But you
do know this ain't cool. And if it was cool,
(09:19):
you wouldn't have had to hide his car in your
neighbor's drive I trusted her with my secret. I figured
my boyfriend wouldn't hurt me since he knew about the
trauma I had been through. Your boyfriend was the one
who took advantage of your trump. Now you're thinking he
won't hurt you. What did he did that won't hurt you?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Why?
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Because he wanted to sleep with you. Give you your
groove back, give yourself esteem back. You misunderstood what this
was for a lady. Sunday, my husband was at work,
so my boyfriend said he stopped by for a quickie
after church.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Oh yeah, he taking care of you. Oh he cared
about you. You down to a quickie? Now?
Speaker 3 (09:57):
I skipped church to prepare for him. Now you ain't
even going down there to see God no more, so
you stay at the house and get touched up on
her quicket. I don't know how y'all think some good
supposed to come out of this? You skipping church now
so you can get done. I skipped church to prepare
for him. Around two pm. I started calling and texting him,
(10:19):
but he didn't answer. I called her as my neighbor
had seen him. She ain't asked. I had to walk
around to her house to see her driveway, and my
intuition had told me to go over there. My boyfriend's
call was right there, right there. I knocked, and my
boyfriend came to the door shirtless. He opened the door
(10:41):
and said, I'm sorry, damn bet, I'm sorry. I'm so
sorry that the.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Dog that I am.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
And now you know, because I was just taking advantage
of your situa, I mean, what you want me to do?
You got her husband? He just up at the church
right now, So I was just gonna come back tap
right quick. And then you know, I was over here
with your neighbor, and your neighbor know I'm tapping, and
then looking look at your neighbor, you know, she said, Well,
since you're over there tapping, I ain't got nobody. You
(11:10):
can park in my driveway. You might as well come
on in. What did you hiding, folks, cause I ain't
gonna hide. You can park in my driveway. Everybody see.
You'll call over him. Let's gonna do this here, he said,
I'm sorry. I tried to push past him to get
to my neighbor, but he's strong army.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Now, Now what you gonna with the neighbor? Ass?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
You the one married your neighbors sinks. The shirtless dude
is the one that went over there. What you pushing
past him for? See, you got all to blame in
the wrong place. They said they will call the police
and off now they finna turn your ass.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Who damn what happened to black lives?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Now?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Lord himbers?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
What what happened to black lives?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Now?
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Now they I finna call the police on your ass?
You got to get back over to the because your
husband gonna wonder what do they call the police?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Own it? Because the choir boy was over here without
his shirt on.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
My neighbor hid my side dude from me, And I'm
not losing another man.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
He not your man.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Your man is at the house, the one you didn't want,
the one that got the other lady pregnant while y'all
was married. He your man. You nothing to lose another man.
He not your man.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
He choir boy.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Y'all need to do some word research on him because
that ain't his only stop. How does this keep happening
to me? Because you keep thinking wrong. First of all,
you took a man back you didn't want. Then you
started sleeping with a man that didn't want you. You
see what's having So everybody is aligned with they needs
(12:51):
and ain't nobody caring about none of your needs. You
need to take some time to do you. You spend
time with you and cut off all these losers loose.
You need to move out to the house with your
husband because that ain't working.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram, at
Steve Harvey FM and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast
on demand. Coming up next to is Junior and Sports Talk.
Right after this, you're listening Day Harvey Morning Show.
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