December 1, 2021 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I am a 29 year old married woman who’s married to a 44 year old man. When I met him, I was 24 and I fell in love with him because I was so ready to move out of my mom’s house. I moved in with him and a few months later, he proposed to me. Then we hit rock bottom and he lost the house. For three months, we had to live with my mother and I was in hell all over again..............................
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEPRVFM dot com. All
you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter. We
could be reading your letter live on the air, just
like we're going to read this one right here, right now.
You never know, it could be yours. You never know.
(00:22):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for you.
Here it is Strawberry. Thank you, nephew. Subject started from
the bottom. Now we're here. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a
twenty nine year old married woman who's married to a
forty four year old man. When I met him, I
(00:44):
was twenty four and I fell in love with him.
Because I was so ready to move out of my
mom's house, I moved in with him a few months
later he proposed to me. Then we hit rock bottom
and he lost the house. For three months. We had
to live with my mother and I was in health
all over again. We got back on our feet and
(01:04):
got an apartment not far from my mother's house. My
mother was giving me money to get basic things I needed.
When I fell short, my husband didn't know about it.
He found out and confronted my mother about making him
seem like less than a man, and she said he
was my husband. And my mom didn't speak for months,
and then one day I went by my mom's house
(01:24):
and I saw my husband's car there. I walked in
and he was scrambling eggs in the kitchen and my
mom was in the shower. I went and pulled my
mother out of the shower, and she tried to fight me.
My husband and my mother told me they've been messing
around since we lived with her. My husband said he's
(01:46):
only sleeping with my mother and cooking for her because
he owes her money my mother. My mother said she's
happy to get it anyway she can. I have no
positive female role model in my life, and now I'm
married to a man that sells his soul to get
the bills paid. I have put my husband out and
(02:06):
he's staying with his brother. He's been begging me to
come back to our apartment, but I can't believe he
fell for my mother's schemes and was sleeping with her.
He's just as damaged by her as I am. So
I feel like I need to be kind to him
and give him a second chance. Should I forgive him
or not? What this letter is really really really out there,
(02:31):
and people think we make this stuff up? How can we?
How can we make this up? All right? Should you
forgive him or not? I mean, eventually, of course I'll
tell you to forgive him, That's always the best way,
but you, mun Steve may feel otherwise. Eventually. I didn't
say go back to him, but you know, in order
(02:52):
to move on with your life. But your man and
your your your mom and your husband. But but I
have to say mostly your mom in this instance, because
you are her daughter. There's no way she should be,
you know, doing this with your husband. There's just no way.
This is sick. This is craziness. Your husband, he's crazy too,
(03:13):
for even thinking that he had to do this. I
don't believe it for a second. He's sleeping with her
to get the bills paid. He's just sleeping with her
because he wanted to sleep with her, because she wanted
him to sleep with her. I mean, they have a
whole set of other circumstances going on with them. But
you know, don't make excuses for him. He's just as
damaged by her as you are. That might be the
(03:33):
case with so what he knows right from wrong. He's
a grown, forty four year old man. No, do not
give him a second chance. He doesn't deserve a second chance.
That was just too low down. I think you should
move on with your life. You know, even if you
have to stop speaking to your mom for a while
and move on with your life. You need to put
this behind you. That's what I say, Steve. Everybody lives
(03:57):
that of crazy for sure. You Stephen Shirley, I'm a
twenty nine year old married woman married to a forty
four year old man. Here's where the letter takes a dive.
When I met him, I was twenty four. I fell
in love with him because I was so ready to
move out of my mom's house. That's why you fell
(04:20):
in love with him? Or is that why you said
you loved him? See, I don't really believe you fell
in love with him. I just needed you needed a
man for convenience. I moved in with him. A few
months later he proposed to me. Then we hit rock
bottom and he lost the house. He was losing that
house before that. You know, you just moved in a
(04:44):
few months later he proposed me, and he lost the house.
You don't lose a house in a few months. He
was already in the process of losing that house. For
three months. We had to live with my mother, and
I was in hell all over again. We got back
on our he got an apartment not far from my
mother's house, but other mistakes. My mother was giving me
(05:06):
money to get some basic stuff that I needed when
I fell short. And your husband didn't know about it,
you said. He found out confront of my mother about
making him seem less than a man, and she said,
he was Your is last than of the man, Your
is last than the man. The way you're doing my
daughter over here with me frying these eggs and everything
(05:31):
just in here, frying in just in here, making aggs,
scrambling the eggs, you know, and who what is I? Whoa?
Who is I baking? We got back on her feet.
Mother's giving me money for basic stuff. My husband didn't
know about it. He found out confront of my mother
(05:51):
making him seem less than a man. She said he
was my husband, and my mom didn't speak for months.
That's what you think, see, that's what you think. And
then one day I went by my mom's house I
saw my husband's card in you just think that morning
they started talking again. Well, you walked in and he
(06:12):
was scramming the eggs in the kitchen, just in there,
just beating him up like he'd work at the Waffa House.
Just in there, got a little whisked. He don't watch
what just in there, just chopping it, slipping eggs up,
chopping on you, you stuf be and that salty. He
(06:34):
just looked like the chef at the Waffa House. You
could have hollowed your art to it. Hang up, Steve,
hang on, we'll have part two of your response coming
up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry
Letters subject we started from the bottom, now we're here.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening show,
(06:55):
all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters
subject and started for the bottom. Now we're here. This
letter is about three ignorant people. Twenty nine year old
married woman married to a forty four year old man,
fell in love at twenty four and loved him right
away because she was just ready to move out of
mom's house. This is not love. This is a relationship.
(07:16):
Built on convenience, So you moved in with him, a
few months later he proposed to you. Then y'all hit
rock bottom. He lost the house after three months. If
you get married and lose a house, he was already
losing that house, all right, And we had to live
with my mother, and I was in hell all over again.
We got back on after he got apartment not far
from a mama's house, and your mama was giving you
(07:38):
money for basic things you needed. When you fail, short
husband didn't know about it. He confronted your mama, said,
you're making me feel less than a man. She said
he was my husband, and mom didn't speak for months.
That's what you think, that's what you thought. And then
you went by your mama's house. You saw your husband's
(07:58):
calling there. I walked in, scrambling eggs in the kitchen.
He just in there. He just in the scrambling eggs,
and my mom was in the shower. So now, without
any discussion, you wouldn't pulling your mama out to shower,
and she tried to fight me. Now, I don't really
know what it is to be a woman, so I
can't argue it, but I do know how hard it
(08:19):
is to fight Nick. I do know. I've tried it.
I've tried it. You can't win that fight, nib So
I wouldn't pull the mother out she tried to fight me.
My husband and my mother set you down and told
her they've been messing around since they live with the mama.
(08:40):
My husband said he's only sleeping with my mother and
cooking for her because he owes her mother? How much
did he though? Why I got to sleep with your mama?
Who the pains a lot on? You do know that
most people of mama looked like day. Most people's mama
(09:05):
look like they's somebody's mama. Yeah, so something happening here
unless your mama is one of them exception to the rules.
But if you and your mother's relationship ain't worth a
dog one and now your husband say he's sleeping with
her and cook because he owe her money, then your
mama tells you she happy to get it anyway she can.
(09:27):
So she said that to hurt you. See that hell
you was in at your mama's house. It's coming back now,
Shirley talking about forgive him eventually. I don't know. I
don't know what Shirley talking about ain'tybody couldn't let this though,
But let me show you how stupid to let her get.
I have no positive female role model in my life,
and now I'm married to a man that sells his
souls to get the bills pay. I have to put
(09:51):
my husband out and he's staying with his brother. Are
you shoot? I don't think so. Are you shoot? Brother?
I'm not sure. He's been begging me to come back
to our apartment. But I can't believe he failed for
my mother's schemes and we're sleeping with her. Wait a minute,
how have you diverted all of this? And it's your mama? Fuck?
(10:15):
I can't believe he failed for her schemes? What skin?
I don't know what scheme you're talking about. You want
some of this? Huh? I'm gonna send your Valentine's called
check yes or no block. That's the last time I
(10:37):
called it. She's mama, You want to do that at all?
Want some pudding? That's there's some good pudding too, this tapiocle? Yeah?
What you want to do? Now? You're sitting over there?
(10:59):
What is your wainting out? Listen, I'm laying on the bed.
What's on the floor. They missed my breast on the floor.
Oh my god, don't step on it when you're getting
the bed. M m well, waiting on you to rock
my world? The visualist killing me? M M hit it, yr, sir,
(11:32):
your son. Now beat me like a pastor, teach me,
do this, do this to me, make me sing? A hill?
Look a hill all right here? Good lord boy? You
love it like a runaway? Why are you? Boy? Are
(11:54):
you loving on me like you're going somewhere? Boy? You
you mustn't have your back to the river head north?
What is from good loving? Right? He ain't had no
love like this? Shit is nat that Turner? That Turner
put on me one time? Him and Shatcher gotten the
fight over me. Shatcher page baseball play good love and
(12:19):
the negro leagues. Well it was hinted. He's just as
damaged by her as I am. So I feel like
I need to be kind to him and give him
a second chance. Hey, listen to me. You need to
get all these people out of your life, all these people.
Should I forgive him or not? No? No, because all
(12:43):
he gonna do is hurt you again. And as far
as your mama go, well, don't you can come, y'all
want to stay here over keep him close. Ain't one
thing he show can't make some oke me, I ain't got.
Leave your comments on today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey FM,
(13:04):
and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming
up next, we're gonna talk about Dubai. There's a big
like a bowl of grits, a big expo going on
in Dubai. We'll talk about it right after this. You're
listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEPRVFM dot com. All
you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter. We
could be reading your letter live on the air, just
like we're going to read this one right here, right now.
You never know, it could be yours. You never know.
(00:22):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for you.
Here it is Strawberry. Thank you, nephew. Subject started from
the bottom. Now we're here. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a
twenty nine year old married woman who's married to a
forty four year old man. When I met him, I
(00:44):
was twenty four and I fell in love with him.
Because I was so ready to move out of my
mom's house, I moved in with him a few months
later he proposed to me. Then we hit rock bottom
and he lost the house. For three months. We had
to live with my mother and I was in health
all over again. We got back on our feet and
(01:04):
got an apartment not far from my mother's house. My
mother was giving me money to get basic things I needed.
When I fell short, my husband didn't know about it.
He found out and confronted my mother about making him
seem like less than a man, and she said he
was my husband. And my mom didn't speak for months,
and then one day I went by my mom's house
(01:24):
and I saw my husband's car there. I walked in
and he was scrambling eggs in the kitchen and my
mom was in the shower. I went and pulled my
mother out of the shower, and she tried to fight me.
My husband and my mother told me they've been messing
around since we lived with her. My husband said he's
(01:46):
only sleeping with my mother and cooking for her because
he owes her money my mother. My mother said she's
happy to get it anyway she can. I have no
positive female role model in my life, and now I'm
married to a man that sells his soul to get
the bills paid. I have put my husband out and
(02:06):
he's staying with his brother. He's been begging me to
come back to our apartment, but I can't believe he
fell for my mother's schemes and was sleeping with her.
He's just as damaged by her as I am. So
I feel like I need to be kind to him
and give him a second chance. Should I forgive him
or not? What this letter is really really really out there,
(02:31):
and people think we make this stuff up? How can we?
How can we make this up? All right? Should you
forgive him or not? I mean, eventually, of course I'll
tell you to forgive him, That's always the best way,
but you, mun Steve may feel otherwise. Eventually. I didn't
say go back to him, but you know, in order
(02:52):
to move on with your life. But your man and
your your your mom and your husband. But but I
have to say mostly your mom in this instance, because
you are her daughter. There's no way she should be,
you know, doing this with your husband. There's just no way.
This is sick. This is craziness. Your husband, he's crazy too,
(03:13):
for even thinking that he had to do this. I
don't believe it for a second. He's sleeping with her
to get the bills paid. He's just sleeping with her
because he wanted to sleep with her, because she wanted
him to sleep with her. I mean, they have a
whole set of other circumstances going on with them. But
you know, don't make excuses for him. He's just as
damaged by her as you are. That might be the
(03:33):
case with so what he knows right from wrong. He's
a grown, forty four year old man. No, do not
give him a second chance. He doesn't deserve a second chance.
That was just too low down. I think you should
move on with your life. You know, even if you
have to stop speaking to your mom for a while
and move on with your life. You need to put
this behind you. That's what I say, Steve. Everybody lives
(03:57):
that of crazy for sure. You Stephen Shirley, I'm a
twenty nine year old married woman married to a forty
four year old man. Here's where the letter takes a dive.
When I met him, I was twenty four. I fell
in love with him because I was so ready to
move out of my mom's house. That's why you fell
(04:20):
in love with him? Or is that why you said
you loved him? See, I don't really believe you fell
in love with him. I just needed you needed a
man for convenience. I moved in with him. A few
months later he proposed to me. Then we hit rock
bottom and he lost the house. He was losing that
house before that. You know, you just moved in a
(04:44):
few months later he proposed me, and he lost the house.
You don't lose a house in a few months. He
was already in the process of losing that house. For
three months. We had to live with my mother, and
I was in hell all over again. We got back
on our he got an apartment not far from my
mother's house, but other mistakes. My mother was giving me
(05:06):
money to get some basic stuff that I needed when
I fell short. And your husband didn't know about it,
you said. He found out confront of my mother about
making him seem less than a man, and she said,
he was Your is last than of the man, Your
is last than the man. The way you're doing my
daughter over here with me frying these eggs and everything
(05:31):
just in here, frying in just in here, making aggs,
scrambling the eggs, you know, and who what is I? Whoa?
Who is I baking? We got back on her feet.
Mother's giving me money for basic stuff. My husband didn't
know about it. He found out confront of my mother
(05:51):
making him seem less than a man. She said he
was my husband, and my mom didn't speak for months.
That's what you think, see, that's what you think. And
then one day I went by my mom's house I
saw my husband's card in you just think that morning
they started talking again. Well, you walked in and he
(06:12):
was scramming the eggs in the kitchen, just in there,
just beating him up like he'd work at the Waffa House.
Just in there, got a little whisked. He don't watch
what just in there, just chopping it, slipping eggs up,
chopping on you, you stuf be and that salty. He
(06:34):
just looked like the chef at the Waffa House. You
could have hollowed your art to it. Hang up, Steve,
hang on, we'll have part two of your response coming
up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry
Letters subject we started from the bottom, now we're here.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening show,
(06:55):
all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters
subject and started for the bottom. Now we're here. This
letter is about three ignorant people. Twenty nine year old
married woman married to a forty four year old man,
fell in love at twenty four and loved him right
away because she was just ready to move out of
mom's house. This is not love. This is a relationship.
(07:16):
Built on convenience, So you moved in with him, a
few months later he proposed to you. Then y'all hit
rock bottom. He lost the house after three months. If
you get married and lose a house, he was already
losing that house, all right, And we had to live
with my mother, and I was in hell all over again.
We got back on after he got apartment not far
from a mama's house, and your mama was giving you
(07:38):
money for basic things you needed. When you fail, short
husband didn't know about it. He confronted your mama, said,
you're making me feel less than a man. She said
he was my husband, and mom didn't speak for months.
That's what you think, that's what you thought. And then
you went by your mama's house. You saw your husband's
(07:58):
calling there. I walked in, scrambling eggs in the kitchen.
He just in there. He just in the scrambling eggs,
and my mom was in the shower. So now, without
any discussion, you wouldn't pulling your mama out to shower,
and she tried to fight me. Now, I don't really
know what it is to be a woman, so I
can't argue it, but I do know how hard it
(08:19):
is to fight Nick. I do know. I've tried it.
I've tried it. You can't win that fight, nib So
I wouldn't pull the mother out she tried to fight me.
My husband and my mother set you down and told
her they've been messing around since they live with the mama.
(08:40):
My husband said he's only sleeping with my mother and
cooking for her because he owes her mother? How much
did he though? Why I got to sleep with your mama?
Who the pains a lot on? You do know that
most people of mama looked like day. Most people's mama
(09:05):
look like they's somebody's mama. Yeah, so something happening here
unless your mama is one of them exception to the rules.
But if you and your mother's relationship ain't worth a
dog one and now your husband say he's sleeping with
her and cook because he owe her money, then your
mama tells you she happy to get it anyway she can.
(09:27):
So she said that to hurt you. See that hell
you was in at your mama's house. It's coming back now,
Shirley talking about forgive him eventually. I don't know. I
don't know what Shirley talking about ain'tybody couldn't let this though,
But let me show you how stupid to let her get.
I have no positive female role model in my life,
and now I'm married to a man that sells his
souls to get the bills pay. I have to put
(09:51):
my husband out and he's staying with his brother. Are
you shoot? I don't think so. Are you shoot? Brother?
I'm not sure. He's been begging me to come back
to our apartment. But I can't believe he failed for
my mother's schemes and we're sleeping with her. Wait a minute,
how have you diverted all of this? And it's your mama? Fuck?
(10:15):
I can't believe he failed for her schemes? What skin?
I don't know what scheme you're talking about. You want
some of this? Huh? I'm gonna send your Valentine's called
check yes or no block. That's the last time I
(10:37):
called it. She's mama, You want to do that at all?
Want some pudding? That's there's some good pudding too, this tapiocle? Yeah?
What you want to do? Now? You're sitting over there?
(10:59):
What is your wainting out? Listen, I'm laying on the bed.
What's on the floor. They missed my breast on the floor.
Oh my god, don't step on it when you're getting
the bed. M m well, waiting on you to rock
my world? The visualist killing me? M M hit it, yr, sir,
(11:32):
your son. Now beat me like a pastor, teach me,
do this, do this to me, make me sing? A hill?
Look a hill all right here? Good lord boy? You
love it like a runaway? Why are you? Boy? Are
(11:54):
you loving on me like you're going somewhere? Boy? You
you mustn't have your back to the river head north?
What is from good loving? Right? He ain't had no
love like this? Shit is nat that Turner? That Turner
put on me one time? Him and Shatcher gotten the
fight over me. Shatcher page baseball play good love and
(12:19):
the negro leagues. Well it was hinted. He's just as
damaged by her as I am. So I feel like
I need to be kind to him and give him
a second chance. Hey, listen to me. You need to
get all these people out of your life, all these people.
Should I forgive him or not? No? No, because all
(12:43):
he gonna do is hurt you again. And as far
as your mama go, well, don't you can come, y'all
want to stay here over keep him close. Ain't one
thing he show can't make some oke me, I ain't got.
Leave your comments on today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey FM,
(13:04):
and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming
up next, we're gonna talk about Dubai. There's a big
like a bowl of grits, a big expo going on
in Dubai. We'll talk about it right after this. You're
listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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