April 5, 2010 • 22 mins
Molly and Cristen examine the stereotype that women love to shop and discuss what constitutes a "shopaholic" in this episode.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray.
It's ready. Are you welcome to stump mom never told you?
From house to works dot Com. Hey, and welcome to podcast.
This is smelly and I'm Kristen Christ and I have
(00:20):
a shopping weakness. It's books. Books. I went on a
book bench to or a couple of days ago. I
have this thing in my house, this this uh you know,
like thing my dad gave me and it's it's a
quote that says when I get a little bit of money,
I buy books, and if I have anything left over,
I buy clothes and food. And that's that does sort
(00:42):
of wrap me up, which which means that may not
be the typical audience member for this podcast, but I
understand their their needs and desires all the same because
back when Old Sex in the City was on the
air all the time and Ladies was going crazy to
have the coolest shoes in the hottest handbag eggs. I mean,
if it had been a show about buying a lot
(01:02):
of books, I would have understood a lot better. But
I think that, you know, essentially the show painted women
as shop aholics, and then there were the Shopoholic books,
Confessions of a Shopoholic and the movie that followed that.
And so I think that there's a pretty big stereotype
out there that women they loved the shop, they loved
(01:23):
the shop. And right now I can't get the idea
out of my head for kind of a Sex and
City spinoff or Carrie Bradshaw is a well dressed librarian.
Do you think you could latch onto that idea a
little bit more? I will tell you that when in
the movie Sex and the City movie, when she got
married in the library, it made my heart skip of
each dream wedding. Okay, well, back to shopping. I totally
(01:46):
agree with you. I mean, of course, there's a stereotype
out there that women are just the shop a hoolics.
Men are just gonna stay at home and and watch
their their televisions and work on their rath I R
rays while we're just spend spend spend same things. Yeah, really,
things like makeup, things that don't band. Think of the
Carry Bradshaw quote, I will be the old lady who
(02:07):
lived in my shoes. You know that was the episode
where she was having some money troubles and she realized
just how much money she'd spend on shoes. She had
no assets, but she had a closet full of Leno los.
I mean, I can keep going on with the sex
and the city quotes like I like my money where
I can see it in my closet. And so when
we were researching this podcast, we actually found a few
quotes about how you know, forget about how many people
(02:29):
carry Bradshaw had sex with. What she really taught generation
of women is to screw up their money. Yeah, like
you know, a bad credit history. As Jezebel contributing editor
Tracy Egan wrote, it is worse than a case of herpes.
Well put Tracy Egan, So, I think that let's get
(02:49):
to the root of this. Perhaps one of the most
annoying stereotypes gender stereotypes, I would say of women's shopoholics,
because I don't know if you remember an old little
nickname I talk stout way back when thrifty nickel, thrift nickel. Yeah,
shop that stereotype at all. I am not a shopaholic,
as evidenced by my wardrobe. But I gotta do a
(03:10):
fault sometimes, I think, so I do yourself down. Kristen, Hey, Molly,
thank you, thank you, um, But seriously, I don't. I
really don't feel like I fall in line with this,
although there are certain times when kind of like you,
like I do have odd splurges on things. But according
(03:31):
to the Gallop Pole February two tho, women are actually
doing better with their money than men are, at least
in day to day spending. The average self reported spending
among women was forty nine dollars a day in January
of this year, which was down from December and fourteen
of January last year. Now, in contrast, men are spending
(03:53):
twenty six dollars a day more seventy five dollars a day,
which is only down four dollars from December. So men
are spending more money. Men are spending more money. That
is a lot of words to say. Men are spending
more money every day at a time in which you know,
women's salaries are starting to catch up with men. So
it's not like they just have more money to spend.
There are cases in which you know, women are finally
(04:14):
starting to make as much money as men and they're
not spending as much of it. Yeah, and I think
we've Shawell of the term man's session also in a
podcast episode because men are getting laid off far more
than women, and more men are on unemployment. So guys,
what are you doing out there spending all this money
unless it's for dinners for women, which I'm sure they'll
(04:37):
all write in that it was. We'll get to their
session a minute, because I think the spending habits in
their session are pretty interesting. Um, but first, let's just
go back to the stereotype. And I really liked this
article that we found from Time magazine called Layoff Susie Orman,
and it's from two thousand seven, and it basically, you know,
since there is this stereotype now that women spend all
their disposable income on shoes, a lot of financial analysts
(05:01):
will take the approach with women with very trivial advice
like cut your law tete, or don't buy shoes or
you know, things that are kind of demeaning when you
think about it, because here we are two good examples
of women who aren't spending money on shoes. So if
you are treating all women is this block of people
who spend all this money on clothes, then are you
(05:22):
really providing them meaningful financial advice? Right? I consider that
kind of advice insulting. Tell me how to actually save
up a little bit of a nest egg because I
make my coffee at home, Susie. So just for an
idea though, of why these financial analysts might need to
take a different tech is that credit card debt. Annual
(05:42):
credit card debt for single women in two thousand four
was nine dollars compared to two thousand dollars for single men.
That's not a huge gap, but it's still not the
monumental gap that you might expect. Right, women are getting
a very bad rap because you know, the financial situations
about the same. Now, let's take clothing. Women do spend
(06:03):
a lot of money every year on close one thousand
dollars one thousand, sixty nine dollars accordin to the Bureau
of Labor Statistics. Guess how much men spend Only two
forty six dollars less than that. I mean, that's that's
not that much. And they're spending more money on things
like car ownership, which is eight hundred forty six dollars
more than women. Single women eating out, So yes, those
(06:24):
dinners might might play a factor. Alcoholic drinks two and
eighty dollars more a year in booze, yeah, among the guys,
and then they can make arguments like, oh I'm bigger,
it takes me more more to get drunk, or maybe
once again, single men are buying some single women or
men drinks. So again, all this is just to say
that women don't need to be singled out for poor
(06:46):
spending habits. But I think that's also these statistics from
Bureau of Labor Statistics Consumer Expended your Survey, I think
also highlight the different ways that men and women spend
money differently. It might not be that women are these
maniacal shop a holics that pop culture portrays us as,
(07:06):
but we're simply spending our money differently than men, at
least according to an article from bank Rate by j McDonald.
And this kind of goes back to some a little
bit of evolutionary biology, a little bit of finance. It's
kind of a combination of my least favorite things in life.
We've got so much to talk about with evolution. Yes, Somali,
(07:28):
whyn't why don't you? Why don't you dive right in? Well,
I'm just gonna throw out a word at you, Kristen nurture,
because women are nurturers. According to evolutionary biology. Then we
have to use money to nurture both ourselves and the
ones around us. We create a lifestyle with our money.
So basically, women are not forward thinkers with their money.
(07:52):
They're just thinking of what looks good right now, what
is in season that we need to spend money on now. Men,
on the other hand, are supposedly trained to provide, you know,
they're the hunters and the gatherers coming back to provide
for the women folk, and so they view money as
something that they need to accumulate for future value. Right
(08:13):
And this according to one article, not the banquet one
but a journal, but an article that was published in
the Journal of Social Evolutionary and Cultural Psychology, all of
this can affect our mall shopping styles, and knowing that
men just need to have money to fix things will
totally affect how a couple shop together. Let's go back
(08:34):
to this idea that women are nurturing and taking care
of the young. This is why, apparently, according to some,
women like to go and browse everything at the mall
because back in the good old olden days, they had
to go out and browse for berries and food that
was good for the young and if you bought the
wrong thing, your kid was going to die. And so
that's why we've got to take so much time to
(08:56):
decide which top we're going to buy, because it's an
evolution starring urge coming out to do the right thing. Now. Men,
on the other hand, when they left their huts, they
already knew what kind of animal they wanted to kill
and eat that day. So that's why when my dad
walks into a story, he likes to say that he
sees it, kills it, bags it, and takes it home.
And that's how men shop. Yeah, apparently it's men. Some
(09:19):
men were drawing a huge stereotypes and going back to evolution.
I'm not going to name names, but I have known
some men who are bigger shoppers than I. But let's
let's go with general stereotypes because we love it. We
love it uh that they're just going back to their
hunter gather roots. They can't be away too long because
that will expose their nest to weakness. They do have
(09:41):
to bag it and get home and set it up
for us. Yes, so in evolutionary terms, that explains differences
between men's and women's shopping styles. Well, do you buy it? All.
You know what, I don't consider any discussion fully complete
until we've talked about how menstruation affects something. Well, Molly,
(10:04):
you are in luck, thank god, thanks to an article
in the BBC discussing a study from Professor Karen Pine
about how menstruation affects women's shopping habits. Basically, she found
that two thirds of women's surveyed reported that in the
later stages of their menstrual cycle a k a. The
(10:26):
luteal phase, they went on an impulse shopping trip. Right,
So she pulled all these women and basically, if you
were in your luteal phase these ten days before your
periods starts, you were more likely to buy something on impulse.
And half of those women who were in that stage
said they overspent by more than twenty five pounds, some
overspent by more than two d fifty pounds and it
(10:48):
was also often followed by a feeling of guilt later.
But this is all because these fluctuations and hormones will
affect parts of our brains linked to emotions and inhibitory controls,
So you kind of just lose control of yourself and
have to go buy things. And because you know periods
are tied with fertility, and the researcher hazarded a guess
(11:13):
that because women well, I mean, she was citing other
research that at certain times dur our menstro cycle, women
are likely to step up their fashion game a little bit,
specifically when we are ovulating right, a process called adornment.
So they make this argument that a woman needs to
buy herself a little something pretty, a little bit of
bling to attract males to her because going back to evolution,
(11:37):
we all want to have babies. So now we've come
up with two of my least favorite rationales for women's
behavior Kristen, hormones and evolution. Yes, um, but like we said,
there's really just not that big a difference between men
and women. Yeah, because, um, men also will tend to
(11:58):
do this kind of impulse shopping as well. But a
lot of times, according to bank Rate, they're not going
out and buying a new pair of earrings. They're going
out and rationalizing the purchase of say a new iPod
or a new PS three laptops, TV grills. So now
(12:18):
do you mean the teeth device, Kristen or the thing
that can make delicious handburgers? Well, Molly, I'm not even
gonna go into hell what you still have been calling
a grill a teeth device, but I would asward to
guess and both may both. You know. Now, let's return
to recession spending, because we mentioned this earlier and we
promised we'd return to it, so we shall. You might.
(12:40):
There was one article in Slate because we you know,
we started off with Carrie Bradshaw and Sex in the City,
and it was talking about how when the movie came out,
we were in the midst of our session and so
it was a lot harder for these women to live
the Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle that was on display in the film.
That they were less likely to see things in the
movie and go out and buy them because we were
in a recession. It just wasn't affordable anymore. It actually,
what we found acquiring to Live Science was that the
(13:03):
recession really hasn't slowed spending because many women, even when
they're worried about money and then in the midst of
our crisis, still spend or overspend, and women are likely
to use depression as a reason to go shopping. Yeah,
and this also comes from research by Dr Pinne we
mentioned a minute ago, and yes, she found that seventy
(13:25):
nine percent of these women she pulled in the UK
said that they would splurge to cheer themselves up. Now
of them said they would feel guilty afterward, which isn't
too fun. But yeah, we definitely use shopping and I
would I would agree with this to some extent. We
do use shopping to pick ourselves up a little bit.
But again back to the thesis of this podcast, We're
not the only one. And now we're going to jump
(13:46):
to what I think is a very interesting study. Two
thousand six, a US study found that six percent of
women shops so much they're considered compulsive buyers that they
have essentially an addiction to shopping. Guess how many men
have the same addiction. Six percent women and five point
five percent men. It's equal. Yes, you guys are just
as addictive shopping as we are. You're just buying different things.
(14:08):
So let's talk a little bit about these compulsive shoppers
that tend to get painted as women, but now we know,
in fact are equally men and women. Compulsive shopping disorder
is characterized by an irresistible and senseless urge to buy goods.
According to Life Science, Yeah, and a lot of times
it's people who are younger and who have incomes under
fifty thousand, who have no business doing all the shopping.
(14:32):
But the addictive behavior develops a lot like just a
drug addiction, because you go and buy something and it
kicks off your dopamine reward system, and you get on
a high when you're you know, taking that bag out
of the mall and trying on your new stuff or
playing a new video game, whatever it is you have,
and so it sets off all these opiate receptor sites
(14:52):
in the brain and then you kind of have a
little bit of crash and you want that high again,
so you got to go back for more. But you know,
it's not just you know, it's not just a what
would be for us, like excessive book buying followed by
like one thing of guilt. And they made pains to
in one article say, it's not just overspending at Christmas,
you know, going over your budget for Christmas presents. This
(15:12):
is a repeated cycle of continually spending over your budget
and buying things compulsively if you just want, if you
need like one pair of shoes, and then you buy
like seven um and then a big tip off that
you've actually got a problem with it is hiding what
you buy or the receipts. Yeah. I actually heard a
little tidbit on a radio morning program earlier this week
(15:35):
about a girl whose fiancee, the day before their weddings
set set her down to tell her that he was
actually a hundred and fifty thou dollars in debt because
he had a problem with shopping. And don't think you're
off the hook if you just you know, have the
guilt and take it back, because if you still have
that repeated cycle of guilt, addressing the problem, then feeling
(15:56):
bad again, so shopping more, it's still sign of a
problem that just even if you don't have the money
problem because you're returning the things, you still have the
shopping problem. Yeah, and a lot of times this at
some point is going to affect your relationships because you're
probably gonna be out of cash. Maybe you're borrowing cash
for all these crazy purchases, or you know, maybe you
(16:17):
are in a relationship with someone and you have to
be open and honest about finances and you're dragging their
credit scores down with years. So a good way to
know if you have a normal relationship with shopping and
you just gotta control every now and then, or if
you've got a disordered relationship with money, here are if
you um signs of a problem shopping or spending money
(16:37):
as a result of feeling angry, depressed, anxious, or lonely repeatedly,
not just you know, every now and then, having arguments
with others about one shopping habits, feeling lost without credit cards,
buying items on credit rather than with cash, describing a
rush or an euphoria that comes with spending, and then
feeling guilty, ashamed or embarrassed after sent nick spending spree
and lying about how much money was spent. Also thinking
(17:01):
obsessively about money. And these symptoms come to this courtesy
of web m D. Yeah, and if you think that
you have problems, you can go actually to debtors Anonymous,
which is twelve set program much like uh, you know,
alcoholics Anonymous or shopping addiction. And a lot of times
when people go to credit counselors, they have an average
debt of seventy dollars. So I think it's that's we
(17:25):
wanted to bring attention to that problem. But we don't
want just women and or men to think they're either
more at risk or not at risk for it. It
happens to men and women equally. And the next time
you give anyone gruff about spending too much time with
the ma, all know that they are not spending any
more money than someone of a different gender. Yeah, let's
bust that stereotype wide open, Molly busted. Yeah, Carrie Bradshaw,
(17:49):
I just made a fist. You are an outlier as
Army and Molly. Probably everyone's unique. And if you buy
a lot of books, I'd love to hear where you
stashed them in your house? Um, are you running of room? Molly?
I used to keep them on catching cabinets, and my
mom told me I couldn't do that anymore. Do you bake?
I don't bake, And that's a lot as another line
from the Sexton City movie. And my mom elbowed me
(18:11):
when Carrie Bradshaw said that, because I think she recognized
a little too painfully her own daughter who would not bake.
And we just used the mund De store as a
slippery slope. Right now, I've got a book closet's working
pretty well for me. I digress. I'm giving out too
much personal information. Let's hear what other people think yeah.
On different topics are email, mom stuff, how stuff works
dot com. We love to hear what is on your mind,
(18:33):
so shoot us an email. And speaking of which, we
will share a couple right now. And to kick things off, Molly,
I've got one here about Miss America. Alright, I've got
one here from Melissa, and she says, I was pretty
disappointed about the way you portrayed pageants. I participated in
(18:53):
a paget my senior year in high school in large
part because of the scholarships that offered. I wanted to
go to a great college, and I knew that I'm
needed financial help getting there. The pageant seemed like a
good way to get any money. I wasn't what most
people think of as a very typical pageant girl. I
also didn't consider myself to be particularly beautiful. But I
did the pageant and ended up winning, and to be honest,
(19:15):
it was pretty great, had a lot of fun, and
my self confidence was positively affected by winning. Before I
always thought of myself as having to be the smart one,
and the pageant showed me that it was okay to
be me and to care about how I looked. At
the same time, plus the pageant capitalized on things that
I was good at, and I also really enjoyed going
to post pageant events, which included talking to a lot
of kids. I thought it was great to show them
(19:37):
that I could be smart and attractive. Then, when I
went to college, and even more when I entered my
PhD program, people saw my participation in a pasgeont as
a joke and something to laugh at. Well, I consider
myself to be a feminist. I think the pageant positively
affected my identity as a woman and showed me it
was okay to be more than a one dimensional person.
I feel like people focus on the negative aspects of
pageants and don't focus on the fact that it can
(19:58):
raise self confidence and money. I understand pageants aren't for everyone,
and I don't advocate them for really young kids, but
I do think that it can be a great option
for young women. So thank you, Melissa. All Right, and
I'm gonna read one from Abbey on the Disney Princess podcast,
and she writes, I'm a woman in my early twenties
who grew up watching mostly the Disney of the nineties,
(20:18):
Bell Aerial, Jasmine, Pocahontas, etcetera. As I listen to your podcasts.
I considered whether I've been affected by the Princesses, and
if so, how like you. I concluded that I came
out of my Disney Field youth relatively unscathed in all
areas except one my singing voice. I never needed the
fluffy ball gown, nor have I ever compared my parents
or social status to those of the Disney Princesses. However,
call me ridiculous, but if I have always felt that
(20:40):
if I could only sing like one of them, I
would die happy. If I had a nickel for every
time I've belted out part of Your World or Colors
of the Wind, I'd be one rich lady. This is
coming from someone who is back in school for a
Master's of Music education at the age of twenty three.
I'm now required to take voice lessons for the first
time in my life. Though not a single one of
the pieces I've been assigned ought to be Sun Princess
style all on Disney, nor I can assure you will
(21:02):
any of the fourth coming pieces, I absolutely cannot escape
the urge to attempt it. The truth is that would
abandon all that correct breathing posture, support, etcetera. To sound
like a Disney princess. Though I know I have a
perfectly nice sing voice, I've always been absolutely petrified to
seeing solo in public. A danda means I listened to
your podcast. That's not what I do sound like. That's
my main intubitor of a rather who I don't sound like.
(21:22):
So a very interesting perspective on Disney princesses. Thanks Daffy,
and if you have something to say to us again,
the email addresses mom Stuff at how stuff works dot com.
We have a blog that we update during the week.
It's called how to stuff and it, along with many
other articles that we've written and just articles we enjoy.
It's all at how stuff works dot com. For more
(21:47):
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home page. Yeah, brought to you by the reinvented two
thousand and twelve Camry. It's ready, are you
Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray.
It's ready. Are you welcome to stump mom never told you?
From house to works dot Com. Hey, and welcome to podcast.
This is smelly and I'm Kristen Christ and I have
(00:20):
a shopping weakness. It's books. Books. I went on a
book bench to or a couple of days ago. I
have this thing in my house, this this uh you know,
like thing my dad gave me and it's it's a
quote that says when I get a little bit of money,
I buy books, and if I have anything left over,
I buy clothes and food. And that's that does sort
(00:42):
of wrap me up, which which means that may not
be the typical audience member for this podcast, but I
understand their their needs and desires all the same because
back when Old Sex in the City was on the
air all the time and Ladies was going crazy to
have the coolest shoes in the hottest handbag eggs. I mean,
if it had been a show about buying a lot
(01:02):
of books, I would have understood a lot better. But
I think that, you know, essentially the show painted women
as shop aholics, and then there were the Shopoholic books,
Confessions of a Shopoholic and the movie that followed that.
And so I think that there's a pretty big stereotype
out there that women they loved the shop, they loved
(01:23):
the shop. And right now I can't get the idea
out of my head for kind of a Sex and
City spinoff or Carrie Bradshaw is a well dressed librarian.
Do you think you could latch onto that idea a
little bit more? I will tell you that when in
the movie Sex and the City movie, when she got
married in the library, it made my heart skip of
each dream wedding. Okay, well, back to shopping. I totally
(01:46):
agree with you. I mean, of course, there's a stereotype
out there that women are just the shop a hoolics.
Men are just gonna stay at home and and watch
their their televisions and work on their rath I R
rays while we're just spend spend spend same things. Yeah, really,
things like makeup, things that don't band. Think of the
Carry Bradshaw quote, I will be the old lady who
(02:07):
lived in my shoes. You know that was the episode
where she was having some money troubles and she realized
just how much money she'd spend on shoes. She had
no assets, but she had a closet full of Leno los.
I mean, I can keep going on with the sex
and the city quotes like I like my money where
I can see it in my closet. And so when
we were researching this podcast, we actually found a few
quotes about how you know, forget about how many people
(02:29):
carry Bradshaw had sex with. What she really taught generation
of women is to screw up their money. Yeah, like
you know, a bad credit history. As Jezebel contributing editor
Tracy Egan wrote, it is worse than a case of herpes.
Well put Tracy Egan, So, I think that let's get
(02:49):
to the root of this. Perhaps one of the most
annoying stereotypes gender stereotypes, I would say of women's shopoholics,
because I don't know if you remember an old little
nickname I talk stout way back when thrifty nickel, thrift nickel. Yeah,
shop that stereotype at all. I am not a shopaholic,
as evidenced by my wardrobe. But I gotta do a
(03:10):
fault sometimes, I think, so I do yourself down. Kristen, Hey, Molly,
thank you, thank you, um, But seriously, I don't. I
really don't feel like I fall in line with this,
although there are certain times when kind of like you,
like I do have odd splurges on things. But according
(03:31):
to the Gallop Pole February two tho, women are actually
doing better with their money than men are, at least
in day to day spending. The average self reported spending
among women was forty nine dollars a day in January
of this year, which was down from December and fourteen
of January last year. Now, in contrast, men are spending
(03:53):
twenty six dollars a day more seventy five dollars a day,
which is only down four dollars from December. So men
are spending more money. Men are spending more money. That
is a lot of words to say. Men are spending
more money every day at a time in which you know,
women's salaries are starting to catch up with men. So
it's not like they just have more money to spend.
There are cases in which you know, women are finally
(04:14):
starting to make as much money as men and they're
not spending as much of it. Yeah, and I think
we've Shawell of the term man's session also in a
podcast episode because men are getting laid off far more
than women, and more men are on unemployment. So guys,
what are you doing out there spending all this money
unless it's for dinners for women, which I'm sure they'll
(04:37):
all write in that it was. We'll get to their
session a minute, because I think the spending habits in
their session are pretty interesting. Um, but first, let's just
go back to the stereotype. And I really liked this
article that we found from Time magazine called Layoff Susie Orman,
and it's from two thousand seven, and it basically, you know,
since there is this stereotype now that women spend all
their disposable income on shoes, a lot of financial analysts
(05:01):
will take the approach with women with very trivial advice
like cut your law tete, or don't buy shoes or
you know, things that are kind of demeaning when you
think about it, because here we are two good examples
of women who aren't spending money on shoes. So if
you are treating all women is this block of people
who spend all this money on clothes, then are you
(05:22):
really providing them meaningful financial advice? Right? I consider that
kind of advice insulting. Tell me how to actually save
up a little bit of a nest egg because I
make my coffee at home, Susie. So just for an
idea though, of why these financial analysts might need to
take a different tech is that credit card debt. Annual
(05:42):
credit card debt for single women in two thousand four
was nine dollars compared to two thousand dollars for single men.
That's not a huge gap, but it's still not the
monumental gap that you might expect. Right, women are getting
a very bad rap because you know, the financial situations
about the same. Now, let's take clothing. Women do spend
(06:03):
a lot of money every year on close one thousand
dollars one thousand, sixty nine dollars accordin to the Bureau
of Labor Statistics. Guess how much men spend Only two
forty six dollars less than that. I mean, that's that's
not that much. And they're spending more money on things
like car ownership, which is eight hundred forty six dollars
more than women. Single women eating out, So yes, those
(06:24):
dinners might might play a factor. Alcoholic drinks two and
eighty dollars more a year in booze, yeah, among the guys,
and then they can make arguments like, oh I'm bigger,
it takes me more more to get drunk, or maybe
once again, single men are buying some single women or
men drinks. So again, all this is just to say
that women don't need to be singled out for poor
(06:46):
spending habits. But I think that's also these statistics from
Bureau of Labor Statistics Consumer Expended your Survey, I think
also highlight the different ways that men and women spend
money differently. It might not be that women are these
maniacal shop a holics that pop culture portrays us as,
(07:06):
but we're simply spending our money differently than men, at
least according to an article from bank Rate by j McDonald.
And this kind of goes back to some a little
bit of evolutionary biology, a little bit of finance. It's
kind of a combination of my least favorite things in life.
We've got so much to talk about with evolution. Yes, Somali,
(07:28):
whyn't why don't you? Why don't you dive right in? Well,
I'm just gonna throw out a word at you, Kristen nurture,
because women are nurturers. According to evolutionary biology. Then we
have to use money to nurture both ourselves and the
ones around us. We create a lifestyle with our money.
So basically, women are not forward thinkers with their money.
(07:52):
They're just thinking of what looks good right now, what
is in season that we need to spend money on now. Men,
on the other hand, are supposedly trained to provide, you know,
they're the hunters and the gatherers coming back to provide
for the women folk, and so they view money as
something that they need to accumulate for future value. Right
(08:13):
And this according to one article, not the banquet one
but a journal, but an article that was published in
the Journal of Social Evolutionary and Cultural Psychology, all of
this can affect our mall shopping styles, and knowing that
men just need to have money to fix things will
totally affect how a couple shop together. Let's go back
(08:34):
to this idea that women are nurturing and taking care
of the young. This is why, apparently, according to some,
women like to go and browse everything at the mall
because back in the good old olden days, they had
to go out and browse for berries and food that
was good for the young and if you bought the
wrong thing, your kid was going to die. And so
that's why we've got to take so much time to
(08:56):
decide which top we're going to buy, because it's an
evolution starring urge coming out to do the right thing. Now. Men,
on the other hand, when they left their huts, they
already knew what kind of animal they wanted to kill
and eat that day. So that's why when my dad
walks into a story, he likes to say that he
sees it, kills it, bags it, and takes it home.
And that's how men shop. Yeah, apparently it's men. Some
(09:19):
men were drawing a huge stereotypes and going back to evolution.
I'm not going to name names, but I have known
some men who are bigger shoppers than I. But let's
let's go with general stereotypes because we love it. We
love it uh that they're just going back to their
hunter gather roots. They can't be away too long because
that will expose their nest to weakness. They do have
(09:41):
to bag it and get home and set it up
for us. Yes, so in evolutionary terms, that explains differences
between men's and women's shopping styles. Well, do you buy it? All.
You know what, I don't consider any discussion fully complete
until we've talked about how menstruation affects something. Well, Molly,
(10:04):
you are in luck, thank god, thanks to an article
in the BBC discussing a study from Professor Karen Pine
about how menstruation affects women's shopping habits. Basically, she found
that two thirds of women's surveyed reported that in the
later stages of their menstrual cycle a k a. The
(10:26):
luteal phase, they went on an impulse shopping trip. Right,
So she pulled all these women and basically, if you
were in your luteal phase these ten days before your
periods starts, you were more likely to buy something on impulse.
And half of those women who were in that stage
said they overspent by more than twenty five pounds, some
overspent by more than two d fifty pounds and it
(10:48):
was also often followed by a feeling of guilt later.
But this is all because these fluctuations and hormones will
affect parts of our brains linked to emotions and inhibitory controls,
So you kind of just lose control of yourself and
have to go buy things. And because you know periods
are tied with fertility, and the researcher hazarded a guess
(11:13):
that because women well, I mean, she was citing other
research that at certain times dur our menstro cycle, women
are likely to step up their fashion game a little bit,
specifically when we are ovulating right, a process called adornment.
So they make this argument that a woman needs to
buy herself a little something pretty, a little bit of
bling to attract males to her because going back to evolution,
(11:37):
we all want to have babies. So now we've come
up with two of my least favorite rationales for women's
behavior Kristen, hormones and evolution. Yes, um, but like we said,
there's really just not that big a difference between men
and women. Yeah, because, um, men also will tend to
(11:58):
do this kind of impulse shopping as well. But a
lot of times, according to bank Rate, they're not going
out and buying a new pair of earrings. They're going
out and rationalizing the purchase of say a new iPod
or a new PS three laptops, TV grills. So now
(12:18):
do you mean the teeth device, Kristen or the thing
that can make delicious handburgers? Well, Molly, I'm not even
gonna go into hell what you still have been calling
a grill a teeth device, but I would asward to
guess and both may both. You know. Now, let's return
to recession spending, because we mentioned this earlier and we
promised we'd return to it, so we shall. You might.
(12:40):
There was one article in Slate because we you know,
we started off with Carrie Bradshaw and Sex in the City,
and it was talking about how when the movie came out,
we were in the midst of our session and so
it was a lot harder for these women to live
the Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle that was on display in the film.
That they were less likely to see things in the
movie and go out and buy them because we were
in a recession. It just wasn't affordable anymore. It actually,
what we found acquiring to Live Science was that the
(13:03):
recession really hasn't slowed spending because many women, even when
they're worried about money and then in the midst of
our crisis, still spend or overspend, and women are likely
to use depression as a reason to go shopping. Yeah,
and this also comes from research by Dr Pinne we
mentioned a minute ago, and yes, she found that seventy
(13:25):
nine percent of these women she pulled in the UK
said that they would splurge to cheer themselves up. Now
of them said they would feel guilty afterward, which isn't
too fun. But yeah, we definitely use shopping and I
would I would agree with this to some extent. We
do use shopping to pick ourselves up a little bit.
But again back to the thesis of this podcast, We're
not the only one. And now we're going to jump
(13:46):
to what I think is a very interesting study. Two
thousand six, a US study found that six percent of
women shops so much they're considered compulsive buyers that they
have essentially an addiction to shopping. Guess how many men
have the same addiction. Six percent women and five point
five percent men. It's equal. Yes, you guys are just
as addictive shopping as we are. You're just buying different things.
(14:08):
So let's talk a little bit about these compulsive shoppers
that tend to get painted as women, but now we know,
in fact are equally men and women. Compulsive shopping disorder
is characterized by an irresistible and senseless urge to buy goods.
According to Life Science, Yeah, and a lot of times
it's people who are younger and who have incomes under
fifty thousand, who have no business doing all the shopping.
(14:32):
But the addictive behavior develops a lot like just a
drug addiction, because you go and buy something and it
kicks off your dopamine reward system, and you get on
a high when you're you know, taking that bag out
of the mall and trying on your new stuff or
playing a new video game, whatever it is you have,
and so it sets off all these opiate receptor sites
(14:52):
in the brain and then you kind of have a
little bit of crash and you want that high again,
so you got to go back for more. But you know,
it's not just you know, it's not just a what
would be for us, like excessive book buying followed by
like one thing of guilt. And they made pains to
in one article say, it's not just overspending at Christmas,
you know, going over your budget for Christmas presents. This
(15:12):
is a repeated cycle of continually spending over your budget
and buying things compulsively if you just want, if you
need like one pair of shoes, and then you buy
like seven um and then a big tip off that
you've actually got a problem with it is hiding what
you buy or the receipts. Yeah. I actually heard a
little tidbit on a radio morning program earlier this week
(15:35):
about a girl whose fiancee, the day before their weddings
set set her down to tell her that he was
actually a hundred and fifty thou dollars in debt because
he had a problem with shopping. And don't think you're
off the hook if you just you know, have the
guilt and take it back, because if you still have
that repeated cycle of guilt, addressing the problem, then feeling
(15:56):
bad again, so shopping more, it's still sign of a
problem that just even if you don't have the money
problem because you're returning the things, you still have the
shopping problem. Yeah, and a lot of times this at
some point is going to affect your relationships because you're
probably gonna be out of cash. Maybe you're borrowing cash
for all these crazy purchases, or you know, maybe you
(16:17):
are in a relationship with someone and you have to
be open and honest about finances and you're dragging their
credit scores down with years. So a good way to
know if you have a normal relationship with shopping and
you just gotta control every now and then, or if
you've got a disordered relationship with money, here are if
you um signs of a problem shopping or spending money
(16:37):
as a result of feeling angry, depressed, anxious, or lonely repeatedly,
not just you know, every now and then, having arguments
with others about one shopping habits, feeling lost without credit cards,
buying items on credit rather than with cash, describing a
rush or an euphoria that comes with spending, and then
feeling guilty, ashamed or embarrassed after sent nick spending spree
and lying about how much money was spent. Also thinking
(17:01):
obsessively about money. And these symptoms come to this courtesy
of web m D. Yeah, and if you think that
you have problems, you can go actually to debtors Anonymous,
which is twelve set program much like uh, you know,
alcoholics Anonymous or shopping addiction. And a lot of times
when people go to credit counselors, they have an average
debt of seventy dollars. So I think it's that's we
(17:25):
wanted to bring attention to that problem. But we don't
want just women and or men to think they're either
more at risk or not at risk for it. It
happens to men and women equally. And the next time
you give anyone gruff about spending too much time with
the ma, all know that they are not spending any
more money than someone of a different gender. Yeah, let's
bust that stereotype wide open, Molly busted. Yeah, Carrie Bradshaw,
(17:49):
I just made a fist. You are an outlier as
Army and Molly. Probably everyone's unique. And if you buy
a lot of books, I'd love to hear where you
stashed them in your house? Um, are you running of room? Molly?
I used to keep them on catching cabinets, and my
mom told me I couldn't do that anymore. Do you bake?
I don't bake, And that's a lot as another line
from the Sexton City movie. And my mom elbowed me
(18:11):
when Carrie Bradshaw said that, because I think she recognized
a little too painfully her own daughter who would not bake.
And we just used the mund De store as a
slippery slope. Right now, I've got a book closet's working
pretty well for me. I digress. I'm giving out too
much personal information. Let's hear what other people think yeah.
On different topics are email, mom stuff, how stuff works
dot com. We love to hear what is on your mind,
(18:33):
so shoot us an email. And speaking of which, we
will share a couple right now. And to kick things off, Molly,
I've got one here about Miss America. Alright, I've got
one here from Melissa, and she says, I was pretty
disappointed about the way you portrayed pageants. I participated in
(18:53):
a paget my senior year in high school in large
part because of the scholarships that offered. I wanted to
go to a great college, and I knew that I'm
needed financial help getting there. The pageant seemed like a
good way to get any money. I wasn't what most
people think of as a very typical pageant girl. I
also didn't consider myself to be particularly beautiful. But I
did the pageant and ended up winning, and to be honest,
(19:15):
it was pretty great, had a lot of fun, and
my self confidence was positively affected by winning. Before I
always thought of myself as having to be the smart one,
and the pageant showed me that it was okay to
be me and to care about how I looked. At
the same time, plus the pageant capitalized on things that
I was good at, and I also really enjoyed going
to post pageant events, which included talking to a lot
of kids. I thought it was great to show them
(19:37):
that I could be smart and attractive. Then, when I
went to college, and even more when I entered my
PhD program, people saw my participation in a pasgeont as
a joke and something to laugh at. Well, I consider
myself to be a feminist. I think the pageant positively
affected my identity as a woman and showed me it
was okay to be more than a one dimensional person.
I feel like people focus on the negative aspects of
pageants and don't focus on the fact that it can
(19:58):
raise self confidence and money. I understand pageants aren't for everyone,
and I don't advocate them for really young kids, but
I do think that it can be a great option
for young women. So thank you, Melissa. All Right, and
I'm gonna read one from Abbey on the Disney Princess podcast,
and she writes, I'm a woman in my early twenties
who grew up watching mostly the Disney of the nineties,
(20:18):
Bell Aerial, Jasmine, Pocahontas, etcetera. As I listen to your podcasts.
I considered whether I've been affected by the Princesses, and
if so, how like you. I concluded that I came
out of my Disney Field youth relatively unscathed in all
areas except one my singing voice. I never needed the
fluffy ball gown, nor have I ever compared my parents
or social status to those of the Disney Princesses. However,
call me ridiculous, but if I have always felt that
(20:40):
if I could only sing like one of them, I
would die happy. If I had a nickel for every
time I've belted out part of Your World or Colors
of the Wind, I'd be one rich lady. This is
coming from someone who is back in school for a
Master's of Music education at the age of twenty three.
I'm now required to take voice lessons for the first
time in my life. Though not a single one of
the pieces I've been assigned ought to be Sun Princess
style all on Disney, nor I can assure you will
(21:02):
any of the fourth coming pieces, I absolutely cannot escape
the urge to attempt it. The truth is that would
abandon all that correct breathing posture, support, etcetera. To sound
like a Disney princess. Though I know I have a
perfectly nice sing voice, I've always been absolutely petrified to
seeing solo in public. A danda means I listened to
your podcast. That's not what I do sound like. That's
my main intubitor of a rather who I don't sound like.
(21:22):
So a very interesting perspective on Disney princesses. Thanks Daffy,
and if you have something to say to us again,
the email addresses mom Stuff at how stuff works dot com.
We have a blog that we update during the week.
It's called how to stuff and it, along with many
other articles that we've written and just articles we enjoy.
It's all at how stuff works dot com. For more
(21:47):
on this and thousands of other topics, does it how
stuff works dot com. Want more house stuff works, check
out our blogs on the house stuff works dot com
home page. Yeah, brought to you by the reinvented two
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