April 1, 2013 • 18 mins
Has Stuff Mom Never Told You ever run into taboo topics? Would you like to know more about Caroline's Proust questionnaire? How has the show affected the co-host's romantic lives? Tune to learn more in the second part of this series.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to stuff Mom Never told you from House top
works dot com. Hello, and welcome to the Bonus Podcast.
I'm Kristen and I'm Caroline and this is part two
of our super special ask Us Anything invitation and you
(00:27):
sure have Yes, we have lots of questions. For this
episode of ask Us Anything, we are focusing more on
the direct advice that you solicited from us, and the
first ask Us Anything we tackled y'all's questions that were
more about who Caroline and are behind the podcast. Yeah,
our lives outside of the studio, our favorite beer, and
(00:51):
this time we're going to get into some more hard
hitting questions going on. But first, Christen, Yes, but first,
so you asked me certain questions last week. Yes, a
condensed prooft questionnaire from inside the actor's studio. Yes. So
(01:12):
now you asked me to picture you as James Lipton,
and now I ask for the same favor in return.
Do you see the glasses and the balding head? I
see the beard most of all. Perfect, That's what I'm
going for. All right, Kristen, are you ready? I'm ready? Okay,
what is your favorite word, Minutia? What is your least
(01:34):
favorite word? Miss indry because sometimes we are labeled as
women who promote miss injury. Okay, what turns you on
the smell of new books? What turns you off the
smell of old books? No? Maybe cattler buck smell. What
(02:01):
sound do you love? I love the sound? Oh, this
is very specific and weird. I really like the sound.
I don't know what I'm telling you this. I really
like the sound of a teacup hitting a saucer like
porcelain and on on porcelain. I have no idea what
(02:24):
that means. You like things proper I do? What sound
do you hate? Nail sound, a chalkboard? Yeah? Okay, what
is your favorite curse word that you can say on
the podcast? Fiddle six? What profession other than yours would
you like to attempt? Maybe lawyering really for the suits? Okay?
(02:51):
What profession would you not like to do? While it
would probably be in reality, lawyering? Um, I wouldn't not
really like to be a daycare center employee again, because
I've done that before and it was very taxing. And Kristen,
the last question, if heaven exists, what would you like
(03:15):
to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates.
I subscribed to your podcast. Thank you, Thank you, Kristen Conger,
thank you, Caroline, I mean James Lipton. Uh. Now, before
we get though to your questions, wonderful listeners, we do
have a brief word from our sponsor of this bonus episode,
(03:39):
which is share File, Because Caroline, you know what you
and I I'm sure have both experienced this Emailing a
big file for a client that is too big to attach,
sending a confidential file and there's no good way to
do it securely, or being out of the house stuff
works dot com offices and not having access to a
spreadsheet or power point or even a podcast say that's
(04:02):
on your work computer. But there is a solution that
we have found in That solution is share file. Share
File brought to you by Citrix. It's the powerful tool
that millions of professionals rely on every day. Unlike other services, Kristen,
share file was designed specifically for business use and allows
you to send files of almost any size and access
(04:23):
your files from any computer or mobile device, not while driving.
Share File enhances your workflow easily and securely. So you
have to try share file today. Yeah, you can get
started with our special risk free offer. That's a full
thirty day free trial. Just go to share file dot com,
click on the radio microphone and enter our promo code stuff. Remember,
(04:48):
visit share file dot com and type in our promo
code stuff. Now let's get to some advice giving Caroline. Okay,
I would just like to preface this with, um, I
am more of the gut person when it comes to
giving advice, and and I think Kristen uh you might
have done a little more research onto some of these
(05:09):
questions that our dear listeners sent in. Are you calling
me the brains? You're the hot and I'm the brains?
Am I the braun? Am I the bron and the heart?
You can be? You can be the braun in the heart. Yes,
I'm the muscle. Right. Finally at five too, I'm the
muscle for something. Well, First up, we've got Jess, who
(05:29):
calls herself a long time super fan, first time caller. Hello,
you're on the line, Jeff. She writes, I'm struggling with
some pretty serious hell stuff, and I just want to
know what's a young lady freshly thirty have to do
around here to get taken seriously medically. Well, that makes
me wonder what you know. Obviously you didn't provide us
with any details about what kind of medical problems you
(05:51):
may be having. Um, but it does make me wonder,
you know, if you're maybe going to the doctor frequently
for lots of things, maybe maybe we've got a touch
of the hypochondria. I know that I often went to
the doctor when I lived in Augusta. Had this great
intern and she was wonderful, and I thought I was
having a heart attack one time, and then I went
(06:11):
to her for everything from like indigestion to thinking I
was having a heart attack, and you know, she was
always great. So all of my stumbling advice, i'm, i'm, I'm.
What I'm trying to get to is maybe you're not
seeing the right type of doctor. Maybe the person you're
going to is insensitive and not pay you the attention
you deserve. Yeah, and I would say that you could
(06:34):
be around on the money there, Caroline, because according to
the American Autoimmune Related Disease Association, an estimated of women
have been told by doctors that they're making up their illnesses.
So you're not alone, jes if you're feeling like you're
not getting the respect that your due. So I would
take advice that we've given in past podcast, especially the
(06:55):
when we were talking about women at the doctor's office
and this very issue of getting that R S p
e c T prescription m hmm uh is going to
a doctor armed with questions and information, but right also
make sure you push for what you feel you need
to know. For instance, in a past episode, I talked
(07:18):
about how when I told my gynecologist I was experiencing
a lot of anxiety and wasn't sleeping, she just tried
to write me a prescription for anxiety medication. Well that's
not what I felt I needed, and I didn't end
up feeling the prescription. What I should have done is
pursued the topic further, say you know what, I appreciate it,
but what I really think I need to do is
talk to somebody and get you know, X y Z
(07:40):
type of help. So really push for what you think
you need and don't let any doctors rush you out
of the office. Like Kristen said, come prepared with your
questions and don't let anybody make you feel like a
doormat at the doctor's office. Now moving on from matters
of the body, two matters of the metaphorical heart. In
(08:00):
a very awkward transition, we now have a question from Paul,
and Paul has a huge crush on a girl that
he met at church. Paul is thirty five years old.
The girl in question, the woman in question, I should say,
is twenty, and he writes, the problem is there's that
(08:22):
huge age gap, so it would probably not be a
good idea for us to go out. Add to this
the fact that we both come from dysfunctional backgrounds, probably
not a good combo. She seems to have a really
solid head on her shoulders, all things considering, and she
also has a six month old kid that caused her
to really grow up. But in any case, I can't
stop thinking about her. Whenever he goes to church, he
(08:44):
catches himself staring at her. Everything she does, he says,
makes me more attracted to her. What can I do
to get this woman out of my brain? Well, I mean,
under normal circumstances, I would say that a thirty five
year old dating a twenty year old is horrific idea. Um, however,
you said that you have similar backgrounds. You're meeting at church,
(09:07):
so obviously you you have more than just maybe an
unfortunate background in common she you said she is mature
for her age because of having a child. I'm thinking
that this is maybe just possible bad timing on both
of your parts, and that maybe you should try to
get her out of your head. Yeah, but he's asking
(09:27):
how how do you push? How do you push the
object of someone out of your head? Because what's going on, Caroline,
if I may put on my dark room to glasses, uh,
is that he's experiencing something called lamrins. And this is
a term coin in the late nineties seventies by the
late psych professor Dorothy ten Of which is essentially a
(09:50):
catch all for an obsessive crush on someone. It involves
obsessive compulsive thoughts, feelings, behaviors, emotional dependence, which it sounds
like he's not really in an emotionally dependent state at
this point. But this is also a biochemical process that's
happening because of a cocktail of NORP and ephrean dopamine,
estrogen test saucer, and etcetera. And yeah, it's making your
(10:13):
brain go crazy. And the bad news is that ten
off the Limbrins expert estimates that it can last between
eighteen months to three years. But don't worry. You don't
have to find a new church. But I do think
that you know, he recognizes that this might not be
a great idea, um, So he might need to figure
(10:34):
out ways to limit his exposure to the trigger to
this amazing woman, um and let time take its toll
and sort of ease him away from that. And maybe
if it's possible, I mean, this could be hard if
he's in a smaller town, but thanks to things like
online dating Harmony, okay, Cupid, if he is looking for
(10:57):
someone to date, get online, because you can narrow things
down by age group. We can find someone who's a
little more age appropriate, someone who has similar belief systems
to see does and maybe um take his attentions elsewhere. Yeah,
Because I mean, I know you have this big crush
on her, um, but that is a very big age gap,
(11:19):
as you pointed out, and while she is mature, there's
just significant life differences there that have occurred also not
just because she's so much younger than you, but also
because she does have a child. So I hope this helps, Paul.
I mean, I think a little bit of distraction and
also I mean, don't beat yourself up for having this
crush crushes happen, but maybe keep in mind all of
(11:40):
those reasons that you have outlined to us as to
why it would probably be a bad idea, and go
with your gut on that. Okay, Well, Kristin Claire wrote
in and has sort of a gender norms question. She says,
my best friend is an agender male who has always
detested gender roles, as do I. A week or two ago,
we were hanging out and he confessed to me that
(12:01):
he had always wanted to shave his legs, but he
was scared because people might think he was weird, because
there's that whole stigma that comes with a guy doing
quote unquote effeminate things. So she goes on to say
that they had a shaving fiesta. They shaved their legs.
He was, you know, really happy with the outcome. Everything
was great. But then his younger sister, who's in middle school,
(12:22):
made fun of him. She she immediately made fun of him,
and so Claire says, I know the sister personally would
love to give her respectful talk on gender roles and
accepting her sibling, but she's in middle school, and I
think it might just go over her head. Still, I
want to wipe away the impression that her brother is
a freak. And I don't know how to approach it.
Should I go for it? What do you think? I
(12:43):
think that maybe the easiest approach that she could take
with this guy's middle school sister is to first take
attack of sisterly love. She should if she wants to
tell this girl anything, it's that, hey, you should love
your brother as he is leg hair or no leg here.
I think that's the concept that even in middle school,
(13:03):
no offense to middle schoolers listening, but even at a
younger age, that's a pretty easy thing to grasp, and
that it's okay for her sister to feel maybe uncomfortable
about her brother violating this gender norm by shaving his legs,
but instead of mocking him, maybe talked to him about it.
Say hey, brother, I feel like this is kind of
(13:23):
weird that you're doing this. You're really into shaving your legs,
but why do you like that? Why does that make
you feel good? And maybe by understanding where her brother
is coming from with that, that can open her mind
up to the more the fluidity of gender. And it
also called to mind too, And I was thinking about
(13:44):
this was how perhaps uh, you know, hot male idols.
She might have like one Direction or Justin Bieber practice
so many typically effeminate kinds of beauty practices. Mean, on YouTube,
there's a video of Justin bieber Blow drying his hair
that I find almost weirder than the idea of him
(14:06):
possibly shaving his legs, you know what I mean. These
guys are accessorized, they're wearing makeup, they're putting stuff in
their hair, doing they're doing all of this girly stuff.
But they're still considered super cute and like totally fine.
So what's wrong with shaving your leg hair off? I mean,
nothing's wrong with shaving your leg hair off. But what
I think Claire needs to remember is that middle schoolers
(14:29):
are caught up in kind of different things than maybe
we are at almost thirty, you know, because I mean,
remember when you're in middle school. This is like when
your hormones hit and all of a sudden, you're so
focused on fitting in and doing the right thing and
wearing the right stuff that when you see someone you
know who you expect to be normal, like your brother,
(14:50):
do something that to your middle school brain is outside
of the norm, You're like, whoa, whoa? Whoa, whoa. This
is outside of my box of what I consider normal,
which is what you know. I'm just learning these things
because I'm in middle school. I'm just learning what's normal
and what you're supposed to do. So, Claire, I'm not
saying that she's a lost cause, I'm just saying that
keep in mind that she has a whole different set
(15:10):
of norms in her brain than maybe you and your
friend do. Yeah, because I remember middle school days and
pretty much everything was embarrassing, especially anything family related. You know. Yeah, absolutely,
so I hope that helps. And even though we did
not have time to get to all of y'all's questions,
(15:32):
there is one good one that I think we can
close out on. And this is coming from a sixteen
year old listener who asked, if you could give any
advice to your sixteen year old self, what would it be?
Was your speed, Caroline, I'm trying to think of myself
at sixteen, and I think the advice I would give
back then is continue to study hard because you're going
(15:55):
to get into a good school self, but don't maybe
take things so seriously. I don't know, um and and
just a note to my past self every time you
listen to Fleetwood, Mac, you're gonna think about when you
got that first car and we're driving around at night
to meet your friends at Starbucks. You know I'm going
(16:17):
to think about that, Mac. I hope that's not weird.
Not at I'll share my memory. What I would tell
my sixteen year old self, and something that I still
tell my twenty eight year old self far more often
that I'm even comfortable to admit, is to don't be
so scared of what other people think of you, Because
maybe if I had been telling myself that from a
(16:40):
younger age, maybe I wouldn't be telling myself that as
much from an older age, because it takes a while,
I feel like to understand and be okay with the
fact that not everybody's gonna like you, and that's totally fine.
It's not an excuse to be a jerk. It's just
in terms of when you're pursuing what you're passionate about,
(17:00):
and you're doing any kind of creative work, if you're
constantly thinking about how to please everyone and that if
that is some kind of a goal, then it is
gonna stymy I think some of some of the process,
or a lot of the process, and I am speaking
from personal experience, and I wish it that had been
something that I've been more focused on from an even
(17:24):
younger age. Yeah. Oh and one more thing, if I
can borrow from Bo's Learman's everybody wear sunscreen, you are
not as fat as you imagine. Oh yeah, that's something
I still tell myself all the time. Yeah, maybe we
should have just maybe this question should just be like
(17:44):
what do you What do y'all tell yourself all the
time on a daily basis? Yes, don't eat the whole
do eat the whole sandwich sandwich because you're awful when
you're angry, Caroline Urban, Well, I think that's wraps up
our our bonus episode. Again, we weren't able to get
to everyone's questions. If this is something that folks enjoyed,
(18:07):
We love hearing from you and like dontling out advice,
So we could do it again. This doesn't have to
be a two time thing. Just let us know and
you know how to reach us mom Stuff at Discovery
dot com. You can also find us on Facebook. Like
us there. We had a lot of fun stuff that
happens on Facebook as well as on Twitter, at mom
(18:30):
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you can head over to our website, it's how stuff
works dot com for more on this and thousands of
other topics. How stuff Works dot com.
Welcome to stuff Mom Never told you from House top
works dot com. Hello, and welcome to the Bonus Podcast.
I'm Kristen and I'm Caroline and this is part two
of our super special ask Us Anything invitation and you
(00:27):
sure have Yes, we have lots of questions. For this
episode of ask Us Anything, we are focusing more on
the direct advice that you solicited from us, and the
first ask Us Anything we tackled y'all's questions that were
more about who Caroline and are behind the podcast. Yeah,
our lives outside of the studio, our favorite beer, and
(00:51):
this time we're going to get into some more hard
hitting questions going on. But first, Christen, Yes, but first,
so you asked me certain questions last week. Yes, a
condensed prooft questionnaire from inside the actor's studio. Yes. So
(01:12):
now you asked me to picture you as James Lipton,
and now I ask for the same favor in return.
Do you see the glasses and the balding head? I
see the beard most of all. Perfect, That's what I'm
going for. All right, Kristen, are you ready? I'm ready? Okay,
what is your favorite word, Minutia? What is your least
(01:34):
favorite word? Miss indry because sometimes we are labeled as
women who promote miss injury. Okay, what turns you on
the smell of new books? What turns you off the
smell of old books? No? Maybe cattler buck smell. What
(02:01):
sound do you love? I love the sound? Oh, this
is very specific and weird. I really like the sound.
I don't know what I'm telling you this. I really
like the sound of a teacup hitting a saucer like
porcelain and on on porcelain. I have no idea what
(02:24):
that means. You like things proper I do? What sound
do you hate? Nail sound, a chalkboard? Yeah? Okay, what
is your favorite curse word that you can say on
the podcast? Fiddle six? What profession other than yours would
you like to attempt? Maybe lawyering really for the suits? Okay?
(02:51):
What profession would you not like to do? While it
would probably be in reality, lawyering? Um, I wouldn't not
really like to be a daycare center employee again, because
I've done that before and it was very taxing. And Kristen,
the last question, if heaven exists, what would you like
(03:15):
to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates.
I subscribed to your podcast. Thank you, Thank you, Kristen Conger,
thank you, Caroline, I mean James Lipton. Uh. Now, before
we get though to your questions, wonderful listeners, we do
have a brief word from our sponsor of this bonus episode,
(03:39):
which is share File, Because Caroline, you know what you
and I I'm sure have both experienced this Emailing a
big file for a client that is too big to attach,
sending a confidential file and there's no good way to
do it securely, or being out of the house stuff
works dot com offices and not having access to a
spreadsheet or power point or even a podcast say that's
(04:02):
on your work computer. But there is a solution that
we have found in That solution is share file. Share
File brought to you by Citrix. It's the powerful tool
that millions of professionals rely on every day. Unlike other services, Kristen,
share file was designed specifically for business use and allows
you to send files of almost any size and access
(04:23):
your files from any computer or mobile device, not while driving.
Share File enhances your workflow easily and securely. So you
have to try share file today. Yeah, you can get
started with our special risk free offer. That's a full
thirty day free trial. Just go to share file dot com,
click on the radio microphone and enter our promo code stuff. Remember,
(04:48):
visit share file dot com and type in our promo
code stuff. Now let's get to some advice giving Caroline. Okay,
I would just like to preface this with, um, I
am more of the gut person when it comes to
giving advice, and and I think Kristen uh you might
have done a little more research onto some of these
(05:09):
questions that our dear listeners sent in. Are you calling
me the brains? You're the hot and I'm the brains?
Am I the braun? Am I the bron and the heart?
You can be? You can be the braun in the heart. Yes,
I'm the muscle. Right. Finally at five too, I'm the
muscle for something. Well, First up, we've got Jess, who
(05:29):
calls herself a long time super fan, first time caller. Hello,
you're on the line, Jeff. She writes, I'm struggling with
some pretty serious hell stuff, and I just want to
know what's a young lady freshly thirty have to do
around here to get taken seriously medically. Well, that makes
me wonder what you know. Obviously you didn't provide us
with any details about what kind of medical problems you
(05:51):
may be having. Um, but it does make me wonder,
you know, if you're maybe going to the doctor frequently
for lots of things, maybe maybe we've got a touch
of the hypochondria. I know that I often went to
the doctor when I lived in Augusta. Had this great
intern and she was wonderful, and I thought I was
having a heart attack one time, and then I went
(06:11):
to her for everything from like indigestion to thinking I
was having a heart attack, and you know, she was
always great. So all of my stumbling advice, i'm, i'm, I'm.
What I'm trying to get to is maybe you're not
seeing the right type of doctor. Maybe the person you're
going to is insensitive and not pay you the attention
you deserve. Yeah, and I would say that you could
(06:34):
be around on the money there, Caroline, because according to
the American Autoimmune Related Disease Association, an estimated of women
have been told by doctors that they're making up their illnesses.
So you're not alone, jes if you're feeling like you're
not getting the respect that your due. So I would
take advice that we've given in past podcast, especially the
(06:55):
when we were talking about women at the doctor's office
and this very issue of getting that R S p
e c T prescription m hmm uh is going to
a doctor armed with questions and information, but right also
make sure you push for what you feel you need
to know. For instance, in a past episode, I talked
(07:18):
about how when I told my gynecologist I was experiencing
a lot of anxiety and wasn't sleeping, she just tried
to write me a prescription for anxiety medication. Well that's
not what I felt I needed, and I didn't end
up feeling the prescription. What I should have done is
pursued the topic further, say you know what, I appreciate it,
but what I really think I need to do is
talk to somebody and get you know, X y Z
(07:40):
type of help. So really push for what you think
you need and don't let any doctors rush you out
of the office. Like Kristen said, come prepared with your
questions and don't let anybody make you feel like a
doormat at the doctor's office. Now moving on from matters
of the body, two matters of the metaphorical heart. In
(08:00):
a very awkward transition, we now have a question from Paul,
and Paul has a huge crush on a girl that
he met at church. Paul is thirty five years old.
The girl in question, the woman in question, I should say,
is twenty, and he writes, the problem is there's that
(08:22):
huge age gap, so it would probably not be a
good idea for us to go out. Add to this
the fact that we both come from dysfunctional backgrounds, probably
not a good combo. She seems to have a really
solid head on her shoulders, all things considering, and she
also has a six month old kid that caused her
to really grow up. But in any case, I can't
stop thinking about her. Whenever he goes to church, he
(08:44):
catches himself staring at her. Everything she does, he says,
makes me more attracted to her. What can I do
to get this woman out of my brain? Well, I mean,
under normal circumstances, I would say that a thirty five
year old dating a twenty year old is horrific idea. Um, however,
you said that you have similar backgrounds. You're meeting at church,
(09:07):
so obviously you you have more than just maybe an
unfortunate background in common she you said she is mature
for her age because of having a child. I'm thinking
that this is maybe just possible bad timing on both
of your parts, and that maybe you should try to
get her out of your head. Yeah, but he's asking
(09:27):
how how do you push? How do you push the
object of someone out of your head? Because what's going on, Caroline,
if I may put on my dark room to glasses, uh,
is that he's experiencing something called lamrins. And this is
a term coin in the late nineties seventies by the
late psych professor Dorothy ten Of which is essentially a
(09:50):
catch all for an obsessive crush on someone. It involves
obsessive compulsive thoughts, feelings, behaviors, emotional dependence, which it sounds
like he's not really in an emotionally dependent state at
this point. But this is also a biochemical process that's
happening because of a cocktail of NORP and ephrean dopamine,
estrogen test saucer, and etcetera. And yeah, it's making your
(10:13):
brain go crazy. And the bad news is that ten
off the Limbrins expert estimates that it can last between
eighteen months to three years. But don't worry. You don't
have to find a new church. But I do think
that you know, he recognizes that this might not be
a great idea, um, So he might need to figure
(10:34):
out ways to limit his exposure to the trigger to
this amazing woman, um and let time take its toll
and sort of ease him away from that. And maybe
if it's possible, I mean, this could be hard if
he's in a smaller town, but thanks to things like
online dating Harmony, okay, Cupid, if he is looking for
(10:57):
someone to date, get online, because you can narrow things
down by age group. We can find someone who's a
little more age appropriate, someone who has similar belief systems
to see does and maybe um take his attentions elsewhere. Yeah,
Because I mean, I know you have this big crush
on her, um, but that is a very big age gap,
(11:19):
as you pointed out, and while she is mature, there's
just significant life differences there that have occurred also not
just because she's so much younger than you, but also
because she does have a child. So I hope this helps, Paul.
I mean, I think a little bit of distraction and
also I mean, don't beat yourself up for having this
crush crushes happen, but maybe keep in mind all of
(11:40):
those reasons that you have outlined to us as to
why it would probably be a bad idea, and go
with your gut on that. Okay, Well, Kristin Claire wrote
in and has sort of a gender norms question. She says,
my best friend is an agender male who has always
detested gender roles, as do I. A week or two ago,
we were hanging out and he confessed to me that
(12:01):
he had always wanted to shave his legs, but he
was scared because people might think he was weird, because
there's that whole stigma that comes with a guy doing
quote unquote effeminate things. So she goes on to say
that they had a shaving fiesta. They shaved their legs.
He was, you know, really happy with the outcome. Everything
was great. But then his younger sister, who's in middle school,
(12:22):
made fun of him. She she immediately made fun of him,
and so Claire says, I know the sister personally would
love to give her respectful talk on gender roles and
accepting her sibling, but she's in middle school, and I
think it might just go over her head. Still, I
want to wipe away the impression that her brother is
a freak. And I don't know how to approach it.
Should I go for it? What do you think? I
(12:43):
think that maybe the easiest approach that she could take
with this guy's middle school sister is to first take
attack of sisterly love. She should if she wants to
tell this girl anything, it's that, hey, you should love
your brother as he is leg hair or no leg here.
I think that's the concept that even in middle school,
(13:03):
no offense to middle schoolers listening, but even at a
younger age, that's a pretty easy thing to grasp, and
that it's okay for her sister to feel maybe uncomfortable
about her brother violating this gender norm by shaving his legs,
but instead of mocking him, maybe talked to him about it.
Say hey, brother, I feel like this is kind of
(13:23):
weird that you're doing this. You're really into shaving your legs,
but why do you like that? Why does that make
you feel good? And maybe by understanding where her brother
is coming from with that, that can open her mind
up to the more the fluidity of gender. And it
also called to mind too, And I was thinking about
(13:44):
this was how perhaps uh, you know, hot male idols.
She might have like one Direction or Justin Bieber practice
so many typically effeminate kinds of beauty practices. Mean, on YouTube,
there's a video of Justin bieber Blow drying his hair
that I find almost weirder than the idea of him
(14:06):
possibly shaving his legs, you know what I mean. These
guys are accessorized, they're wearing makeup, they're putting stuff in
their hair, doing they're doing all of this girly stuff.
But they're still considered super cute and like totally fine.
So what's wrong with shaving your leg hair off? I mean,
nothing's wrong with shaving your leg hair off. But what
I think Claire needs to remember is that middle schoolers
(14:29):
are caught up in kind of different things than maybe
we are at almost thirty, you know, because I mean,
remember when you're in middle school. This is like when
your hormones hit and all of a sudden, you're so
focused on fitting in and doing the right thing and
wearing the right stuff that when you see someone you
know who you expect to be normal, like your brother,
(14:50):
do something that to your middle school brain is outside
of the norm, You're like, whoa, whoa? Whoa, whoa. This
is outside of my box of what I consider normal,
which is what you know. I'm just learning these things
because I'm in middle school. I'm just learning what's normal
and what you're supposed to do. So, Claire, I'm not
saying that she's a lost cause, I'm just saying that
keep in mind that she has a whole different set
(15:10):
of norms in her brain than maybe you and your
friend do. Yeah, because I remember middle school days and
pretty much everything was embarrassing, especially anything family related. You know. Yeah, absolutely,
so I hope that helps. And even though we did
not have time to get to all of y'all's questions,
(15:32):
there is one good one that I think we can
close out on. And this is coming from a sixteen
year old listener who asked, if you could give any
advice to your sixteen year old self, what would it be?
Was your speed, Caroline, I'm trying to think of myself
at sixteen, and I think the advice I would give
back then is continue to study hard because you're going
(15:55):
to get into a good school self, but don't maybe
take things so seriously. I don't know, um and and
just a note to my past self every time you
listen to Fleetwood, Mac, you're gonna think about when you
got that first car and we're driving around at night
to meet your friends at Starbucks. You know I'm going
(16:17):
to think about that, Mac. I hope that's not weird.
Not at I'll share my memory. What I would tell
my sixteen year old self, and something that I still
tell my twenty eight year old self far more often
that I'm even comfortable to admit, is to don't be
so scared of what other people think of you, Because
maybe if I had been telling myself that from a
(16:40):
younger age, maybe I wouldn't be telling myself that as
much from an older age, because it takes a while,
I feel like to understand and be okay with the
fact that not everybody's gonna like you, and that's totally fine.
It's not an excuse to be a jerk. It's just
in terms of when you're pursuing what you're passionate about,
(17:00):
and you're doing any kind of creative work, if you're
constantly thinking about how to please everyone and that if
that is some kind of a goal, then it is
gonna stymy I think some of some of the process,
or a lot of the process, and I am speaking
from personal experience, and I wish it that had been
something that I've been more focused on from an even
(17:24):
younger age. Yeah. Oh and one more thing, if I
can borrow from Bo's Learman's everybody wear sunscreen, you are
not as fat as you imagine. Oh yeah, that's something
I still tell myself all the time. Yeah, maybe we
should have just maybe this question should just be like
(17:44):
what do you What do y'all tell yourself all the
time on a daily basis? Yes, don't eat the whole
do eat the whole sandwich sandwich because you're awful when
you're angry, Caroline Urban, Well, I think that's wraps up
our our bonus episode. Again, we weren't able to get
to everyone's questions. If this is something that folks enjoyed,
(18:07):
We love hearing from you and like dontling out advice,
So we could do it again. This doesn't have to
be a two time thing. Just let us know and
you know how to reach us mom Stuff at Discovery
dot com. You can also find us on Facebook. Like
us there. We had a lot of fun stuff that
happens on Facebook as well as on Twitter, at mom
(18:30):
Stuff podcast and on tumbler it's stuff Mom Never told
you dot tumbler dot com, and as always, during the week,
you can head over to our website, it's how stuff
works dot com for more on this and thousands of
other topics. How stuff Works dot com.
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