December 16, 2009 • 18 mins
When it comes to relationships, the conventional wisdom is that opposites attract. In this episode, Molly and Cristen explore what genetics, scientific studies and anecdotal evidence suggest about what makes romantic partners most attractive to us.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray.
It's ready. Are you welcome to stump Mom never told you?
From house Stop works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to
the podcast. I'm Kristen and I'm Molly. So Molly, I
(00:21):
have a new request for any any bows out there
who might be wishing to court me. Okay, obviously the
forum to air them. Yes, yes, because I have gotten
many a date through this podcast. Lie. Um, Now, when
you know if he wants to, if he wants to
(00:42):
take me out, there's uh, you know, there's one thing
that he's going to need to start bringing along on
the first date. Chocolate flowers. No, that was a both
cliche for the for the woman of two thousand ten.
You need the man to bring along a worn, dirty
undershirt so you can do his laundry. Yeah, that's very modern.
(01:05):
More way, no way, I just want I just want
to take a whiff of his dirty laundry, of his
dirty laundry, see how it smells, and uh, you know,
if I like it, then we can proceed. And if
you don't, then that's it. Well maybe it depends on
who's gonna pay. Oh again, another statement from the modern woman. Zing, Um,
(01:30):
I see where you're going with this, Christian because it
relates to the topic we're going to talk about today,
believe it or not, which is whether opposites really attract Yeah,
there are all these studies that have been done that
have basically concluded that women are attracted to men who
have vastly different genes than they do, which makes sense
(01:53):
because we want to you know, we don't. I don't
want a bunch of in breeding going on. Right, And
there's the specific type of gene complex called the major
histo compatibility complex, which has a lot to do with
UM forming our immune systems, and scientists think that women
are innately well head of sexual women are innately attracted
(02:17):
by smell to men who have UM different mc H genes, right,
because these forms such a large proper immune system. The
thinking goes that women are sniffing out um different immune
systems from their own so that they can sort of
load their future child up with the best immune system possible,
(02:38):
because the thinking goes that if you give your child
exposure to more immune system genes, they can fight off
more diseases later on down the line. Yeah, and these
studies were done with men who were asked to wear
these undershirts for two days and to not shower where deodor,
inter cologne or anything like that, so we could really
absorb the natural musk get a with and without having
(03:01):
seen the men. They would have the women come in
and sniff the shirts and then rate the attractiveness of
the scent, and they always, like consistently pick the shirt
that smells that had belongs the man who has the
most different genes. And so it plays a role obviously
in sexual attraction, but it can also play a role
once you get married. Yeah. There was a study in
(03:23):
two thousand seven conducted by Christine gavar Apgar of the
University of New Mexico, and she looked at the satisfaction
of forty eight heterosexual marriages and she found that the
women who had those vastly different MHC genes from their
husband or most likely to report sexual satisfaction and fidelity
(03:47):
in their relationship. And building on that um, there was
a correlation of up to fifty less chance of a
woman cheating, wanting to cheat, or actually cheating on her
husband if they had that different genetic makeup. Right, and
the women who had gotten married to a man who
did have similar mhc jeanes to themselves, they were much
(04:08):
more likely to have either reported thinking about an affair
or having one whoa So if you're looking for the
key to a happy, non adulterous marriage, maybe get a
gene test done. Yeah, because there's actually a UM in
this day and age of online dating. This one company
is taking it up UM the next level to combine
(04:32):
all those like personality tests you do with online dating
with a cheek swab to sample your genetic makeup. Right
there was this article by Charlotte Hunt group grub I'm
not sure exactly how you say her name in the
Sunday Times UM in England and she went through this.
(04:52):
She basically got cheek swaps from some guys around her
building and she went on a date with one who
had an She was told they'd have an eight chance
of being just great matches because their genes were so different. Um.
And in her write up you kind of get the
sense that the guy is a bit of a jerk. Um.
He's he's sort of bragging about the fact that the
(05:13):
girls like to sleep in his old T shirt. So
he he doesn't you know, he must give off a
good sort of immune system scent um. But you know,
one of the reasons, like we said that you would
want someone who's a different genetic match than you is
for success in child rearing, Well, this guy had a vasectomy,
so it's sort of you know, there are some things
that a genetic test cannot tell you. Yeah, because going
(05:35):
into this date, she thought it was going to go
pretty well, because this matching service said that they had
a biological compatibility including a very high symmetry of attraction,
high type of interest, and a high probability of a
successful pregnancy, which he probably hadn't checked a box saying
that he had the sectomy except wanted change those results.
(05:58):
But this was developed by a Croatian geneticist named Tamara
brown Um who's based in Zurich, and it sounds it
sounds like an interesting proposition. You know, you get all
the personality test, but then you get this other scientific
aspect to it to maybe lockdown the perfect match that
(06:18):
everybody is hoping for. But at the same time, this
article also talks about how um, it's kind of questionable
putting all of this genetic information about yourself out there
because it could be used against you down the line too,
of course, And I don't know if it's the most
romantic thing to give a cheek swab when you're doing
a dating service, but she does say that, you know,
(06:40):
when you go on that first date and you say, oh,
there was a spark or there wasn't a spark, she
thinks that spark may be related to that whif of
the gene system that you get. So that's why you'd
want to go on a date with someone that you're
predestined genetically to have this spark with. So that's what
they're saying. I mean, she thinks this is the future
of online dating is that she wants to build up
all these social networks. She's done part ownerships with Facebook. UM,
(07:02):
so that if like you're in London, let's say, all
the people in London who have given their cheek swab,
will um be available for matching, DNA matching, or you
could just be like me and request an old undershirt
upon first date. I mean, if someone's willing to give
a cheek swab, they're probably not unaccustomed to weird requests
like that one Kristen, you know, um, but one thing
(07:25):
that might throw all of this out of balance birth control. Yes,
and you know we have I think several listeners have
sent us this article UM when we started doing podcasts
about birth control and libido and and all other things
about why you want a non hormonal form of birth control.
But they've done some studies where women who take the
(07:45):
birth control pill lose this ability to sniff out different
gene pools than the ones that they have. Yeah. Finally enough,
based on a two thousand eight British study UM conducted
by Craig Roberts found that interestingly enough, these women who
are on the pill, instead of being attracted to the
men with the different mhc jenes, were actually more attracted
(08:09):
to men with more similar mhc jenes. It's flip flop
the whole thing, right, And so you know, the researchers
are thinking that these women are making bad matches when
they're on the pill, and there's the possibility that once
they go off the pill, then all of a sudden
that romantic attraction will fade, the love will die because
these someone will realize once they get a true whiff
(08:30):
of the guy, that they've made a bad decision. Right,
And they think that this might be happening because birth
control is essentially tricking the woman's body into thinking that
it's pregnant, and so she is subconsciously going for more
of a relative or caregiver type who will be able
to take care of her yet to be born, yet
(08:51):
to be conceived, yet to be conceived bambino. Right. So
that's it's possibly one one danger of taking out birth control,
a breke control pill that tricks your body into thinking
it's pregnant. Yeah, but all these things, I do think
we have to point out though all these studies are
focused solely on women's sniffing out men. Okay, and you
(09:12):
know there's nothing about like on the flip side for
for men or even for you know, women's sniffing out
women's right that arcle we were talking about from the
from the Times with Dr Tamara Brown. She eventually wants
to come up with the formulation of how to measure
this for gay couples. Um But right now, like you said,
all the research is on head sexual couples, and so
far that the data suggests that men, you know, if
(09:34):
they can sniff this out, don't seem to be affected
by it. You know that that um stat that Christen
was talking about, you know, if you've got fifty percent
of the same MHC. Jeans, that that woman is fifty
more likely to have had an affair, makes no difference
with the men. Yeah, we've got to investigate why they cheat.
Whold different, whole different podcasts. But at this point, Molly,
(09:55):
since this is solely focused on you know, heterosexual women's
sniffing out heterosexual woman, I think it would be a
good time to maybe if we really want to answer
this general question of whether opposite attract for everybody, you know,
I think it'd be a good time to take a
more broader view of this issue. Yeah, since all the
(10:15):
data on jeans has had our sexual let's just go
with like personality traits, because you know, you watch movies
and you see, you know, the odd couple like Burton Ernie,
like people who are just different making a life together. Right,
Molly and H and Paula Abdul even recorded a hit
about this very topic, and I think you printed out
(10:38):
some of the lyrics. I certainly you have been looking
forward to sharing for quite a while. You know, this
is one music video that has burned onto my retinas
because if you haven't seen the music video, Like, stop
listening to this podcast right now and go to YouTube
and watch it. Well, I've never seen it. You haven't
seen it, all right, I'll describe it for you. It's
Paula Abdul dancing with an Annam made a cat. Oh
(11:01):
I have seen it? Okay, of course you have everyone
seen this. And um, it's all about the romance between
her and the cat. And as she says, opposites attract.
Now Here are some of the things they don't have
that you know that they're different on. Um, one person
likes the movies and the other likes TV. Are you
like TV? Do you mind? This is the eighties that
(11:22):
might have been a big difference back then. Go ahead, Um,
one party goes to bed early. One likes the party
all night. That could get awkward. Um, she makes the bed,
he steals the cover. She and he stands with job
(11:44):
like most cats do. Cats are so crazy. The cat
also likes to smoke, whereas Paula Abdul does not like cigarettes.
That don't like but when they get together they have
nothing but fun. I mean, how could you not fun
with a cover of stealing smoking cat? I mean that
is a question for the ages Kristen a question for
(12:06):
the ages, and I don't think that sense has ever
been said before. But you know, uh, Paula Abdul, I
think you might have been a little off the mark
with scat cat. Apparently. Yeah. No, no study can prove
the accuracy of Paula abdul lyrics as of yet. Um.
The thing is is, even though we tend to want
someone who balances out maybeing what we consider our worst traits.
(12:29):
Like let's say that I'm really anxious, so I want
someone who's really calm all the time, um, or vice versa.
If I'm really calm, I don't want someone who can
like pump me up. Even though we say that's what
we want, it turns out that is not what we
actually end up seeking out in this big old dating world. Yeah.
There was a two thousand three study published in the
(12:50):
Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in which respond
is ranked um and how important certain traits were in
a romantic partner, and then and they rated the extent
to which they thought that they exhibited those specific traits.
So the study found that basically with traits that they wanted,
(13:11):
they also rated themselves high on for instance, if you
wanted financial stability in a partner, you were more likely
to have more money. Or if you wanted someone who
was real fine, you probably thought that you were a
hot to Molly as well. Right, And if you didn't
inser yourself very close with your family, then you didn't
care if the potential partner was very close with their family. Basically,
(13:33):
people were seeking, you know, mirror images of themselves. I
think that makes sense. I think that, you know, we
seek out people who can justify all the beliefs and
things we've put into our lives. And a two thousand
nine study of online daters confirmed this as well. Like
people went through and like checked off all of these
opposite traits that they want, but at the end of
the day, they ended up dating people who are more
(13:55):
similar to themselves. Right, But they're saying that, like, you know,
these personality traits, the neuroticism, if you're an extrovert and
introvert anxiety, that's more important just than the um outer
you know, outer sort of attitude things like oh we
both like cars, yeah, or we both like tattoos, like
you can. It's more important that your personalities are the
(14:16):
same in terms of finding a match, is what these
studies are saying than actually, you know, looking alike, you know, yess,
they'll be Jack Sprat who could eat no fat and
his wife who could eat no lean, as long as
you were both sort of the same level of extroverts exactly.
So basically, when it comes to whether opposites attract, we
want their gene pools to be completely opposite. But for personality,
(14:41):
you're probably gonna stick pretty close to what you already
have because you got a jive with someone, you know,
you've got to build a life, yeah, relationship. But what
I'm betting, Kristen is that we've got a ton of
listeners who think that they're in sort of opposites attract
kind of situation. And if you are, we want to
hear from you. How are you different from your partner?
How are you the same? Tell us your love stories? Yeah,
(15:03):
and uh, I feel like seling Dion all the suden
And I'm also curious if anyone was specifically attracted to
the person they're with because of their scent. I'm just wondering,
And if you have any other musings about love and attraction,
please send them our way. At mom stuff at how
stuffworks dot com. And speaking of which, let's do some
(15:25):
list or mails. Okay, christ and this is one that
you definitely must read. Okay, oh all right, all right.
This comes from Heather and she is The subject line
is homeschooling. Now I see why you wanted me to
read this, Um, she said. I just want to say
that making jokes is one of the best part of
(15:47):
being a K through twelve homeschool graduate. I mean, there's
so much humor in it. Plus it's a great way
to deal with the negative stereotypes that I think everythinking
person knows are just stereotypes. It's always fun to do
the homeschool high five for others a k a. Hitting
your own hands together because there's no one else in
your class to high five, or telling people that you
are in the top of your class and voted most
(16:07):
likely to become president, etcetera. Also, I personally think the
word dorc should be really looked into. I would consider
myself a proud dork, and I'm always confused why people
think this is a problem. So thank you, Heather. Um,
you know what, I actually had not heard of the
home school high five before, but that didn't mean she
didn't try it and demonstrate it. For me, it was
(16:30):
pretty awesome. Yeah, so thank you Heather for forum that
that joke that I well, that l O L as
the kids say, yes, all right. This one is from
Leah and she wrote about the episode on how We'll
have children in the future, and um, you know in
the very title says how will we have children? And
(16:51):
she's all like, who is this we Here's what she writes.
I wanted to encourage you to our mind listeners about
the terribly unequal access women have to quality basic meta
weal care in the US and around the world. It
stricts me that the kinds of expensive and electric procedures
you discussed in the podcast will only be available to
a vary select group of wealthy couples and individuals. That means,
among other things, that poor families have children the old
(17:12):
fashioned way will be the ones who bear the financial
and emotional costs of genetic illnesses, while wealthy families won't
experience these burdens they can sort of buy their way out.
This could potentially have unfortunate social consequences, resulting and ever
more stratification between haves and have nots. On the other hand,
families or individuals who can afford the genetic manipulation or
testing you discuss will continue to have greater levels of
(17:33):
genetic variation, resulting in overall healthier offspring. So there we go.
That's from Leah Well. Folks. Thank you for all of
your emails, Keep them coming, Moms stuff at how stuffworks
dot com and during the week, if you'd like to
head over to our blog, it's called how to Stuff
and we tell you how to do stuff. And if
(17:53):
you want to read the forthcoming stellar article by our
very own Molly Edmonds called do Opposites Really Attract you
should definitely head on over to how stuff works dot
com for more on this and thousands of other topics.
Is it how stuff works dot com. Want more how
(18:16):
stuff works, check out our blogs on the house. Stuff
works dot com home page. Brought to you by the
reinvented two thousand twelve camera. It's ready, are you
Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray.
It's ready. Are you welcome to stump Mom never told you?
From house Stop works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to
the podcast. I'm Kristen and I'm Molly. So Molly, I
(00:21):
have a new request for any any bows out there
who might be wishing to court me. Okay, obviously the
forum to air them. Yes, yes, because I have gotten
many a date through this podcast. Lie. Um, Now, when
you know if he wants to, if he wants to
(00:42):
take me out, there's uh, you know, there's one thing
that he's going to need to start bringing along on
the first date. Chocolate flowers. No, that was a both
cliche for the for the woman of two thousand ten.
You need the man to bring along a worn, dirty
undershirt so you can do his laundry. Yeah, that's very modern.
(01:05):
More way, no way, I just want I just want
to take a whiff of his dirty laundry, of his
dirty laundry, see how it smells, and uh, you know,
if I like it, then we can proceed. And if
you don't, then that's it. Well maybe it depends on
who's gonna pay. Oh again, another statement from the modern woman. Zing, Um,
(01:30):
I see where you're going with this, Christian because it
relates to the topic we're going to talk about today,
believe it or not, which is whether opposites really attract Yeah,
there are all these studies that have been done that
have basically concluded that women are attracted to men who
have vastly different genes than they do, which makes sense
(01:53):
because we want to you know, we don't. I don't
want a bunch of in breeding going on. Right, And
there's the specific type of gene complex called the major
histo compatibility complex, which has a lot to do with
UM forming our immune systems, and scientists think that women
are innately well head of sexual women are innately attracted
(02:17):
by smell to men who have UM different mc H genes, right,
because these forms such a large proper immune system. The
thinking goes that women are sniffing out um different immune
systems from their own so that they can sort of
load their future child up with the best immune system possible,
(02:38):
because the thinking goes that if you give your child
exposure to more immune system genes, they can fight off
more diseases later on down the line. Yeah, and these
studies were done with men who were asked to wear
these undershirts for two days and to not shower where deodor,
inter cologne or anything like that, so we could really
absorb the natural musk get a with and without having
(03:01):
seen the men. They would have the women come in
and sniff the shirts and then rate the attractiveness of
the scent, and they always, like consistently pick the shirt
that smells that had belongs the man who has the
most different genes. And so it plays a role obviously
in sexual attraction, but it can also play a role
once you get married. Yeah. There was a study in
(03:23):
two thousand seven conducted by Christine gavar Apgar of the
University of New Mexico, and she looked at the satisfaction
of forty eight heterosexual marriages and she found that the
women who had those vastly different MHC genes from their
husband or most likely to report sexual satisfaction and fidelity
(03:47):
in their relationship. And building on that um, there was
a correlation of up to fifty less chance of a
woman cheating, wanting to cheat, or actually cheating on her
husband if they had that different genetic makeup. Right, and
the women who had gotten married to a man who
did have similar mhc jeanes to themselves, they were much
(04:08):
more likely to have either reported thinking about an affair
or having one whoa So if you're looking for the
key to a happy, non adulterous marriage, maybe get a
gene test done. Yeah, because there's actually a UM in
this day and age of online dating. This one company
is taking it up UM the next level to combine
(04:32):
all those like personality tests you do with online dating
with a cheek swab to sample your genetic makeup. Right
there was this article by Charlotte Hunt group grub I'm
not sure exactly how you say her name in the
Sunday Times UM in England and she went through this.
(04:52):
She basically got cheek swaps from some guys around her
building and she went on a date with one who
had an She was told they'd have an eight chance
of being just great matches because their genes were so different. Um.
And in her write up you kind of get the
sense that the guy is a bit of a jerk. Um.
He's he's sort of bragging about the fact that the
(05:13):
girls like to sleep in his old T shirt. So
he he doesn't you know, he must give off a
good sort of immune system scent um. But you know,
one of the reasons, like we said that you would
want someone who's a different genetic match than you is
for success in child rearing, Well, this guy had a vasectomy,
so it's sort of you know, there are some things
that a genetic test cannot tell you. Yeah, because going
(05:35):
into this date, she thought it was going to go
pretty well, because this matching service said that they had
a biological compatibility including a very high symmetry of attraction,
high type of interest, and a high probability of a
successful pregnancy, which he probably hadn't checked a box saying
that he had the sectomy except wanted change those results.
(05:58):
But this was developed by a Croatian geneticist named Tamara
brown Um who's based in Zurich, and it sounds it
sounds like an interesting proposition. You know, you get all
the personality test, but then you get this other scientific
aspect to it to maybe lockdown the perfect match that
(06:18):
everybody is hoping for. But at the same time, this
article also talks about how um, it's kind of questionable
putting all of this genetic information about yourself out there
because it could be used against you down the line too,
of course, And I don't know if it's the most
romantic thing to give a cheek swab when you're doing
a dating service, but she does say that, you know,
(06:40):
when you go on that first date and you say, oh,
there was a spark or there wasn't a spark, she
thinks that spark may be related to that whif of
the gene system that you get. So that's why you'd
want to go on a date with someone that you're
predestined genetically to have this spark with. So that's what
they're saying. I mean, she thinks this is the future
of online dating is that she wants to build up
all these social networks. She's done part ownerships with Facebook. UM,
(07:02):
so that if like you're in London, let's say, all
the people in London who have given their cheek swab,
will um be available for matching, DNA matching, or you
could just be like me and request an old undershirt
upon first date. I mean, if someone's willing to give
a cheek swab, they're probably not unaccustomed to weird requests
like that one Kristen, you know, um, but one thing
(07:25):
that might throw all of this out of balance birth control. Yes,
and you know we have I think several listeners have
sent us this article UM when we started doing podcasts
about birth control and libido and and all other things
about why you want a non hormonal form of birth control.
But they've done some studies where women who take the
(07:45):
birth control pill lose this ability to sniff out different
gene pools than the ones that they have. Yeah. Finally enough,
based on a two thousand eight British study UM conducted
by Craig Roberts found that interestingly enough, these women who
are on the pill, instead of being attracted to the
men with the different mhc jenes, were actually more attracted
(08:09):
to men with more similar mhc jenes. It's flip flop
the whole thing, right, And so you know, the researchers
are thinking that these women are making bad matches when
they're on the pill, and there's the possibility that once
they go off the pill, then all of a sudden
that romantic attraction will fade, the love will die because
these someone will realize once they get a true whiff
(08:30):
of the guy, that they've made a bad decision. Right,
And they think that this might be happening because birth
control is essentially tricking the woman's body into thinking that
it's pregnant, and so she is subconsciously going for more
of a relative or caregiver type who will be able
to take care of her yet to be born, yet
(08:51):
to be conceived, yet to be conceived bambino. Right. So
that's it's possibly one one danger of taking out birth control,
a breke control pill that tricks your body into thinking
it's pregnant. Yeah, but all these things, I do think
we have to point out though all these studies are
focused solely on women's sniffing out men. Okay, and you
(09:12):
know there's nothing about like on the flip side for
for men or even for you know, women's sniffing out
women's right that arcle we were talking about from the
from the Times with Dr Tamara Brown. She eventually wants
to come up with the formulation of how to measure
this for gay couples. Um But right now, like you said,
all the research is on head sexual couples, and so
far that the data suggests that men, you know, if
(09:34):
they can sniff this out, don't seem to be affected
by it. You know that that um stat that Christen
was talking about, you know, if you've got fifty percent
of the same MHC. Jeans, that that woman is fifty
more likely to have had an affair, makes no difference
with the men. Yeah, we've got to investigate why they cheat.
Whold different, whole different podcasts. But at this point, Molly,
(09:55):
since this is solely focused on you know, heterosexual women's
sniffing out heterosexual woman, I think it would be a
good time to maybe if we really want to answer
this general question of whether opposite attract for everybody, you know,
I think it'd be a good time to take a
more broader view of this issue. Yeah, since all the
(10:15):
data on jeans has had our sexual let's just go
with like personality traits, because you know, you watch movies
and you see, you know, the odd couple like Burton Ernie,
like people who are just different making a life together. Right,
Molly and H and Paula Abdul even recorded a hit
about this very topic, and I think you printed out
(10:38):
some of the lyrics. I certainly you have been looking
forward to sharing for quite a while. You know, this
is one music video that has burned onto my retinas
because if you haven't seen the music video, Like, stop
listening to this podcast right now and go to YouTube
and watch it. Well, I've never seen it. You haven't
seen it, all right, I'll describe it for you. It's
Paula Abdul dancing with an Annam made a cat. Oh
(11:01):
I have seen it? Okay, of course you have everyone
seen this. And um, it's all about the romance between
her and the cat. And as she says, opposites attract.
Now Here are some of the things they don't have
that you know that they're different on. Um, one person
likes the movies and the other likes TV. Are you
like TV? Do you mind? This is the eighties that
(11:22):
might have been a big difference back then. Go ahead, Um,
one party goes to bed early. One likes the party
all night. That could get awkward. Um, she makes the bed,
he steals the cover. She and he stands with job
(11:44):
like most cats do. Cats are so crazy. The cat
also likes to smoke, whereas Paula Abdul does not like cigarettes.
That don't like but when they get together they have
nothing but fun. I mean, how could you not fun
with a cover of stealing smoking cat? I mean that
is a question for the ages Kristen a question for
(12:06):
the ages, and I don't think that sense has ever
been said before. But you know, uh, Paula Abdul, I
think you might have been a little off the mark
with scat cat. Apparently. Yeah. No, no study can prove
the accuracy of Paula abdul lyrics as of yet. Um.
The thing is is, even though we tend to want
someone who balances out maybeing what we consider our worst traits.
(12:29):
Like let's say that I'm really anxious, so I want
someone who's really calm all the time, um, or vice versa.
If I'm really calm, I don't want someone who can
like pump me up. Even though we say that's what
we want, it turns out that is not what we
actually end up seeking out in this big old dating world. Yeah.
There was a two thousand three study published in the
(12:50):
Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in which respond
is ranked um and how important certain traits were in
a romantic partner, and then and they rated the extent
to which they thought that they exhibited those specific traits.
So the study found that basically with traits that they wanted,
(13:11):
they also rated themselves high on for instance, if you
wanted financial stability in a partner, you were more likely
to have more money. Or if you wanted someone who
was real fine, you probably thought that you were a
hot to Molly as well. Right, And if you didn't
inser yourself very close with your family, then you didn't
care if the potential partner was very close with their family. Basically,
(13:33):
people were seeking, you know, mirror images of themselves. I
think that makes sense. I think that, you know, we
seek out people who can justify all the beliefs and
things we've put into our lives. And a two thousand
nine study of online daters confirmed this as well. Like
people went through and like checked off all of these
opposite traits that they want, but at the end of
the day, they ended up dating people who are more
(13:55):
similar to themselves. Right, But they're saying that, like, you know,
these personality traits, the neuroticism, if you're an extrovert and
introvert anxiety, that's more important just than the um outer
you know, outer sort of attitude things like oh we
both like cars, yeah, or we both like tattoos, like
you can. It's more important that your personalities are the
(14:16):
same in terms of finding a match, is what these
studies are saying than actually, you know, looking alike, you know, yess,
they'll be Jack Sprat who could eat no fat and
his wife who could eat no lean, as long as
you were both sort of the same level of extroverts exactly.
So basically, when it comes to whether opposites attract, we
want their gene pools to be completely opposite. But for personality,
(14:41):
you're probably gonna stick pretty close to what you already
have because you got a jive with someone, you know,
you've got to build a life, yeah, relationship. But what
I'm betting, Kristen is that we've got a ton of
listeners who think that they're in sort of opposites attract
kind of situation. And if you are, we want to
hear from you. How are you different from your partner?
How are you the same? Tell us your love stories? Yeah,
(15:03):
and uh, I feel like seling Dion all the suden
And I'm also curious if anyone was specifically attracted to
the person they're with because of their scent. I'm just wondering,
And if you have any other musings about love and attraction,
please send them our way. At mom stuff at how
stuffworks dot com. And speaking of which, let's do some
(15:25):
list or mails. Okay, christ and this is one that
you definitely must read. Okay, oh all right, all right.
This comes from Heather and she is The subject line
is homeschooling. Now I see why you wanted me to
read this, Um, she said. I just want to say
that making jokes is one of the best part of
(15:47):
being a K through twelve homeschool graduate. I mean, there's
so much humor in it. Plus it's a great way
to deal with the negative stereotypes that I think everythinking
person knows are just stereotypes. It's always fun to do
the homeschool high five for others a k a. Hitting
your own hands together because there's no one else in
your class to high five, or telling people that you
are in the top of your class and voted most
(16:07):
likely to become president, etcetera. Also, I personally think the
word dorc should be really looked into. I would consider
myself a proud dork, and I'm always confused why people
think this is a problem. So thank you, Heather. Um,
you know what, I actually had not heard of the
home school high five before, but that didn't mean she
didn't try it and demonstrate it. For me, it was
(16:30):
pretty awesome. Yeah, so thank you Heather for forum that
that joke that I well, that l O L as
the kids say, yes, all right. This one is from
Leah and she wrote about the episode on how We'll
have children in the future, and um, you know in
the very title says how will we have children? And
(16:51):
she's all like, who is this we Here's what she writes.
I wanted to encourage you to our mind listeners about
the terribly unequal access women have to quality basic meta
weal care in the US and around the world. It
stricts me that the kinds of expensive and electric procedures
you discussed in the podcast will only be available to
a vary select group of wealthy couples and individuals. That means,
among other things, that poor families have children the old
(17:12):
fashioned way will be the ones who bear the financial
and emotional costs of genetic illnesses, while wealthy families won't
experience these burdens they can sort of buy their way out.
This could potentially have unfortunate social consequences, resulting and ever
more stratification between haves and have nots. On the other hand,
families or individuals who can afford the genetic manipulation or
testing you discuss will continue to have greater levels of
(17:33):
genetic variation, resulting in overall healthier offspring. So there we go.
That's from Leah Well. Folks. Thank you for all of
your emails, Keep them coming, Moms stuff at how stuffworks
dot com and during the week, if you'd like to
head over to our blog, it's called how to Stuff
and we tell you how to do stuff. And if
(17:53):
you want to read the forthcoming stellar article by our
very own Molly Edmonds called do Opposites Really Attract you
should definitely head on over to how stuff works dot
com for more on this and thousands of other topics.
Is it how stuff works dot com. Want more how
(18:16):
stuff works, check out our blogs on the house. Stuff
works dot com home page. Brought to you by the
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