August 26, 2021 • 28 mins
Anney and Samantha sip on beer from Hyperion Brewing and crack open their high school year books to reminisce.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I look up to
stuff I've never told your production of I Heart Radio,
and welcome to another happy hour. Welcome as always, I'm
saying that to you Andy as well. I'm welcoming to
(00:25):
you as well as I'm happy to be here. Also
paid to be here, but I am happy to see you.
I'm happy to see you. And just as a reminder,
the drinks that we are drinking are not our sponsors.
Is just someone that we found that we thought are
delightful and have women involved, which should be so hard
(00:47):
but sometimes can be to find companies that have women
involved as part of the major production. I hope that
changes one day. Anyway, this is where we are. But
also if you are drinking, please drink responsibly whatever you
are drinking, whether it is an alcoholic beverage, a caffeinated beverage,
(01:08):
and or something that you enjoy way too much, like
if you're doing a milkshakey but you know you don't
like us. Intolerant not a great idea. I do it
all the time and I'm not necessarily intolerant, but it's
not great with my body. I've discovered too much. I
shouldn't have tea. That's what I write. Got all weird,
intolerant with tea, so and anything with ninten it. Keep
that away, so a lot of things. Just be responsible.
(01:33):
And today we are sipping on some delicious beers from
Hyperion Brewing, which is located in Jacksonville, Florida, if you're interested,
and by the way, if you get a chance to
be in downtown Jacksonville and actually go to the brewery,
the bartenders are delightful. I had two lovely young ladies
who were so kind and so helpful and also very
(01:56):
weird at about all the questions I was asking rightly,
so I explained why. But you know, it's one of
those weird things where I'm like, I'm a podcaster and
You're like, there's millions of you essentially, and why do
I care? And I'm like, yeah, that's fair. I hope
they're listening. Hello. I don't think so. They one of
them said they kind of heard of us. I was
(02:18):
trying to explain. It's one of those moments where I'm like,
I'm not trying to get free things, please know, I
just want you to know this is why I'm asking
all of these questions, because you're looking at me like
I'm a weirdo. Fair enough, but they were very kind
and so helpful and so informative, and they did help
me pick out these beers from hyperion as well. So
I'm going to go ahead and open mind to start
(02:38):
the drunk and I want to see if we can
do this without pouring this into my lap because I
did not have luck last time. That was my crowler
is a thirty two ouncer. And I am not going
to be drinking all of this about myself. I promise
I can't. And the ghozl I believe. I just poured
(02:59):
myself a six ounce poor. I used to be able
to do this. Oh you do you have experience in
that world, so I trust you. I am drinking a
Selene satrine, which is a blood orange blonde. Just why
any what are you drinking? I am drinking hot Daity,
which is a great name, which is an I P
(03:20):
A type of I P A yeah, which I haven't
sipped yet. I just told you that, but I trust
that is the truth. You're not trying to trick me.
I'm not trying to trict you today today um and
just kind of give you a background of hot Perion.
It was started by a businesswoman, Alexandremmy Cowen, who is
a twenty nine year old who had to desire to
be her own boss. Yeah, girl, do it and have
(03:44):
a startup, and after reconnecting with a high school friend
dabbling with some homebrewing, decided to go down the brewing avenue.
And she did have a little bit hard time trying
to get the started, especially in trying to get money
and loans. Eventually she was able to partner with a
couple from Michigan and open end up the brewery in
downtown Jacksonville. It is really lovely. It's called Springfield Little
(04:05):
Neighborhood just in f Y. There's a few breweries down
that way, and it was really delight and if you
do go into the space, it's such a large, cute
space because they have this whole like set up in
the front where you can play games and look at
all these fun artwork. And then if you go into
the bag they have a whole garden area and it's
(04:27):
massive and you can play little games out there. They
have plans like it is. They went all out, like
they have fire pits everywhere. It was nice and like
man I wish I lived here, just gonna have a
party in the back at the brewery. Specific at that brewery,
like it's a fun brewery. I was like, wow, this
is fantastic anyway, but it is a fun little company.
(04:47):
And yeah. I went to Jacksonville to visit my partner's
family and I was like, hey, Florida. We kind of
talked about a little bit. The distributing loss interstate is
really complicated, and you can't get things everywhere in Florida
and Georgia as much as you would think, don't have
a good connection, and so there's things down there that
(05:07):
we can't get in Georgia's I wanted to try a
couple of breweries and I didn't a couple of Hyperion
was one of them, and very glad to find it.
We all enjoyed it very much and found good beers.
But yeah, I am drinking this a Selene Citrine blood
orange blonde, which if you know much about blonde, it
is a lighter, almost like a summary beer, kind of
(05:29):
along the ale ish, so not really hoppy, not really
tired or bitter in any way. It is very smooth
to me. It's multi ish. It does have a blood
orange like hey ish, and I say, hey ish, and
that it's very just soft and mellow in that level
that smell you get that's like refreshing, that is comforting
to me. Um, and that a little bit of citrus
(05:51):
is a really big delight. And I love, love the
taste of this. And I definitely understand that the first
thing you smell is the orange and it is a
lightful beer. And their description says it is a situacy,
crisp and pink, and it is a piquache color ish,
this blonde will leave you feeling like you're sipping bruise
in a beautiful orchard on a sunny day. Hey, right,
(06:13):
right right. I don't know, it's a popular beer descriptor.
I get what you're saying. That sounds lovely. I am
as I said, drinking the Hot Deity. I feel like
I said this in the last one too, But I
wouldn't have said this was an I p A actually,
because to me, whether I'm wrong or right, based on
the I p A S I've had in my life,
(06:35):
it would be much more hoppy and bitter. And that's
definitely still there, definitely still there at the end, but
it's it's I also was gonna use mellow, and then
you used mellow. It's much mellower in the front, and
it's got kind of it's not malt, but it like lingers.
It's sort of a grassy, vegetal feeling going on, but
(06:56):
it's it's brighter than what I'm used to with a
lot of I p s. And I know I say
that knowing that I have had a lot of one
specific type of IPA in my life. Right, I know
that the world of I P A is bigger than
what my experiences, but just for me when I go
into something. So from their description, it is a balanced
I PA with four varieties of hops Magnum for bitterness,
(07:18):
centennial and Summit for notes of citrus, and mosaic to
provide a fruity aroma. Right, so this is not a
double I p A, which is typically a little more
bitter and over like a little sweeter, And it's not
It doesn't seem like a New England style either, which
has a little more bitterness. Typically I could be wrong.
They're gonna yell at me. Someone's gonna yell at me.
(07:38):
It's been a minute. I'm not drinking it now, But
when I had it, at the tasting, it didn't feel
that way mosaic, and I think I've said this before.
It is one of my favorite hops because it does
have that fruity a roma, so it almost takes like
the grassy or sometimes there's some beers that smells like
weed like. It is that level of aroma, and it
mellows it out with a little more fruitiness to it,
(08:00):
and I think it adds a greatness to it. This
is me of course, like people talk about with the
cosmos and all those things. Anyway, that's a whole different
other level. But this is a complex for sure, with
the fact that they have four varieties of hops, but
they balanced it nicely. My opinion from back then, that's
my nose trying to remember three weeks ago, so two
weeks ago, three weeks ago, how many weeks ago? So
(08:21):
many weeks ago, y'all, it could be any number of weeks.
There's so many weeks. One of the things that I
(08:42):
did love about Alexandra's story about the fact that she
got to reconnect with a high school friend because she
moved away came back. Apparently he worked with the company.
I think it's like to slay for South America or
something and came back and found a ruse and just
like kind of reconnected, and they started making me think
about high school, you know, like if I and I'm
not gonna lie, I think there's a been a part
(09:02):
of me. So a couple of years ago, it was
my tenure reunion and I was petrified, there's no way
in hell I'm going to my tenure reunion. All right.
Oh no, A couple of years. Oh my god, I've
met my twenty year reunion. Holy I'm having a crisis.
I'm having a mode of crisis. Give me a minute.
(09:23):
A couple of weeks turned into a couple of years
for me. A decade is I'm a decade off? Oh
my god. I was like, Okay, listeners, I'm so sorry.
I just had an identity crisis, a midlife crisis as
we speak, because I just realized it was twenty year
reunion and not tenu reunion. We did have an excuse
(09:45):
of having in COVID, and I'm very grateful for that
because there's no way in hell I would go to it.
I would like to maintain that I feel like I
looked younger than most of the people from my generation
because of my brown, oily skin. But I have been
thinking about out all of the people that I've lost
contact with, and I honestly think I've only talked to
two or three people from my high school. And I
(10:07):
started thinking about, man, how much have we changed? And
also my adorable family member who has recently kind of
come away from that and has grown as an adult,
looking back on her and her having her own identity
crisis of like, I'm changing so much and become a
different person, what does this look like? And I want
to ask you when you were in high school, and
(10:29):
I think we've already talked about this before, but what
did you think? What were your plans when you were
like a senior year in high school, because that was
a pivotal year we were making all of these big plans.
What were your plans? Uh, honestly, they were pretty shallow
looking back, because I I was a real overachiever in school.
(10:51):
But for some reason, when I became a senior, I
got the worst case of senioritis. Like I would sit
in the parking lot and think I could just drive
away and no one would see me again. And it
was why, Like I can't really tell you. I guess
it was like maybe fear of change and just being tired,
but so I wanted it. I wanted a change I
wanted like I chose the school I went to. I
(11:12):
know I've said it before. I'm embarrassed by it, but
I chose it because I thought I have the best
chance at like partying and finding a man, which was
way off. I was so wrong, and ultimately I'm glad
I am, but I wanted like that. I was like,
you know, maybe I just needed a new scenery and
all be able to be like the cool person because
(11:33):
I wasn't uncooled, but I was definitely not cool. I
was like the well liked crowd. But I thought it
could build a new identity. I guess what I'm saying.
I thought I could get I could date, and I
wouldn't feel so weird about dating somebody I've known since kindergarten.
I thought I could make a new kind of personality,
because it's hard to do that when you've known people
for so long. For me, it was. And then I
(11:55):
really wanted to travel, so that's why I chose that
agree I chose, which also feels very shallow and especially
now like looking back, as I said, I would have
been a terrible spy. But I also wanted to be
a diplomat, and I was thinking about like just traveling
being a diplomat. But so that's what I thought. I
thought I was going to go kind of reinvent myself,
(12:16):
as they say, and I did have in the back
of my head like I really want to write and
I really want to be an actor. But I also
I'm a very logical person, and I'm really prone to arguments,
like my parents were like, you know, we're not going
to pay for any like you need you need to
find a way to pay for college, and no one
(12:37):
can get jobs in essentially is what they told me,
which you know, right or wrong, that's what they said.
And I was like, you're right, that's very hard to
be able to succeed in. I'll do this other thing.
I did also follow one of my friends to Georgia Tech.
She wasn't the only reason I chose it, but she
was part of the reason. I'll say that, yeah, yeah,
for myself, I dreamt of leaving La j Georgia. That
(12:58):
was my big goal, and but wanted to go somewhere
that I could be with friends. So I'd gone with
my high school best friend. We all got in. We
were so excited she and our roommates for a freshman year.
It didn't break us, surprisingly, the or a lot of screaming,
but I definitely was excited. I got accepted. I was
a first one to leave the home now to go
(13:19):
to school. Now, the others did leave the home, but
it was because a marriage, so well that was a
whole different conversation. But I was not about that obviously,
And I had this whole plan. I had this plan
that I was going to be a missionary, a doctor,
and I was going to travel the world and save
the world essentially. And then eventually, like I came back
and that didn't happen, and then I went back and
(13:41):
forth about like, well, maybe I don't want to do this,
maybe I want to be a social worker. And I
did decide early on to be a part of that world.
But yeah, I had this dream. I was going to
go there, find my husband as well, We're going to
connect travel the world together. I had read too many
Christian books about couples who left on mission trip and
(14:01):
that was gonna be me having children. Maybe understanding that
there was a lot of trauma in the back of
my mind. But you know, I had already solved it
because Jesus right, which is not kind of sending for
those who believe in religion, but that was really like, oh,
this is not going to be a fixed fall, but
I believed it to be at that point for me.
And yeah, I think I thought the same thing about
(14:22):
like I'm gonna find myself. I'm gonna I'm gonna be
the girl who finds a man and it's a perfect man,
and everybody's gonna be jealous of this man because in
school there I never dated. I didn't have boyfriends, like,
it wasn't a thing for me. I was the responsible one.
I was the mom of my friend group, and finally
I was going to go out and find myself. It
didn't happen that way. That's the whole like SpongeBob me,
(14:47):
you know, like I don't do. But yeah, and with that,
I've got to ask you, how did that experience actually
change when you left? Were your expectations rather, I think
my expectations changed really quickly because I had been used
to not having to study, like I had to put
in a lot of homework time, but I didn't have
(15:08):
to study, and then I almost failed my first semester
of college and so right after that because I was
an overachiever and that you know, oh my god, what
a eye opener that was. And I will say I
didn't reinvent myself in the way I thought I would,
and I almost hesitate to use that because I know
it's been made fun of so much. But I did.
I did go through a lot of growth, and I
(15:29):
did discover a lot about myself. A lot of it
makes me cringe looking back, but the thing that I
think I ultimately wanted, and I just didn't realize what
I the end goal of that was. Like I thought
it was me married with children, a different person, but
instead it was me who did get to go and travel,
even if it wasn't for like being a diplomat. But
(15:51):
I got to work in other countries through college, and
I made friends, and I did get to explore avenues
of myself that I hadn't yet and I got I
remember having so many and I know that's also a
joke too, is you go to like your liberal college
and they could they ruin you. But I remember having
conversations with people where somebody said something to me once
(16:14):
that to me now is such a foundational thing, but
back then I never heard anybody talk about it. But
she was talking about like the right to human dignity,
and we got into a conversation about that because a
lot of there were a lot of things I felt
and believed, but I wasn't good at articulating my felter
believed to them. So I did get that too. I
got that in college. I feel like I learned a
good work ethic and arguing. So I guess what I'm
(16:36):
saying is I didn't I had I wasn't correct about
the ultimate idea or goal of the end point, but
I got all the stuff that I was really underlying
of what I wanted. Right, Yeah, I was with you
the first semester of college. The first year of college,
I almost I didn't fail, but I was definitely seize
and I lost Hope, which is the Hope Grant, which
(16:57):
is the scholarship for B and then so um. When
I started college, I think it was in the middle
of the not middle, but like towards the beginning middle
of the program, because now it's changed. The standards have changed,
and I don't know if I would qualify now because
they're so much more stringent, but like I think I
definitely lost that because I got a few seas and
I was like, oh, I can't do chemistry, fair, fair,
(17:19):
I can't do calculus like this. Fair. I had an
Italian teacher like, you can't do it that way, and
I was like, wait, no, I'm about have it. Don't
do this to me. And so I had to reevaluate, oh,
maybe this is not my field. As well as the
fact though I actually went in a different direction. I
became more conservative almost in college, which is kind of
(17:40):
a lot of regret in that, like not necessarily my compassion,
but like in my ideas of keeping myself and making
sure I maintain myself, make sure I may be responsible decisions.
I'm not that crazy kid that does the crazy things
which I do. Kind of regret. I kind of wish
I'd been able to do a few of the crazy things.
And it wasn't until I saw the world and I
(18:02):
was plunked into the world and meaning like I started
with that job, I went outside of the Christian organizations
that I was a part of and realized, oh, the
world is not as insulated and and I've just been
going through microaggression towards me accepting that because that's what
I grew up with, not realizing these are wrong, but
like in an idea like this is wrong because they
(18:23):
made me want to be white, and I feel guilty
that I'm not white, and I feel ashamed of myself
because I'm not white, because according to them, this is
a superior race and micro aggression and the little digs
of being Asian which I have made Joseph myself, it's
not a good thing. Oh, this does hurt my self esteem.
I'm not just being self deprecating and funny. I'm literally
(18:45):
hurting my self esteem. And so were they. But because
I've given them permission, they think it's funny. And because
I have become their entertainment and their jokes and their
clown I have become entertainment and not and not realizing
this is what I had learned to acclimate. And in
college I fed into that way too long, um and
I had no one to tell me I was wrong. Instead,
(19:07):
I was encouraged to maintain that because I could not
see past the white communities. So for me, it's such
a weird thing. It's like I fed into it even
more to the fact that my conservative parents thought I
was pompous. Yeah, yeah, that's that's us a lot, right,
And I was, And I was like, I would not
(19:29):
disagree with them whatsoever. I'm sure they're missing that now,
but there's a lot to be said. I was like, oh, yeah,
I guess I have become a little different. And since then,
like my big change didn't happen until I left. I
really like feel like college was even more insular for
(19:49):
me readly enough. Ye, And I think that goes back
to this, what would you tell your high school self today?
(20:11):
That's a good question. I feel like I feel like
this is a question I get asked like three times
a year, and somehow I can never remember what I
always say because I think for me, a lot of
it would be and I know this is an impossible thing.
I would have hated to hear it. I know a
lot of young people hate to hear it, but it
would have been like it's okay because I was so insecure.
(20:33):
I was so insecure and I would not. I just
felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. And there's a
lot of reasons for that. But because of that, I
spent like I don't know, when I look back on
high school. I just it's almost a feeling I remember
more of just being like shrinking and like hoping no
(20:55):
one noticed me, and feeling like I had to when
they did. I had to certain ways. Like I said,
I would really play up like being sexual, or people
would make fun of me for the drugs. Um they
thought I was on drugs and people make fun of
you for it, and I would play into it. And
really I was struggling and I needed help, and I
wish I could have confided in somebody that. But I
(21:17):
think that's the big thing. I know, it's annoying because
it's like cliche off, like it's going to get better.
I wish I I just wish I could have been like,
it's okay, so you have friends. I was lucky. I
had friends. Yeah, it wasn't perfect, but I had friends
and we were weird, but it was okay, right, Yeah,
And as you said that, I don't. Actually I only
(21:37):
have a couple of friends that I talked to. But
I think it's because we all grew together, and those
who I didn't grow with I don't see as much
or talked to as much. There's a big separation between us,
and that makes me sad, and obviously a lot of levels,
and a lot of that also has to do with
distance and where we are in life. You know, I
think you and I talked about this earlier about I've
(22:00):
gotten to the point that, you know, some people are
in their second marriage with more children, or they have
five children, three children, four children, like so many more
children that it's impossible to get together. And there's it's
almost this whole layer of being within your socioeconomic status.
And what I mean by that not necessarily about finances,
(22:20):
but it is about finances because when you have to
two incomes, it was very different from my twenty nine
thousand dollars a year income that I was getting at
one point in time, so very different. But for myself,
I really, like I said, I wish I had a
person in my life that taught me what it is
(22:41):
to have my own identity, because there was a lot
that I missed out on. There's a lot of I'm
fearful of today and even exploring and even saying, like
claiming myself as Korean seems bold because if I started
getting asked questions, I started falling apart. Even to the
point that I have my white partner to go in
(23:03):
and to authentic Korean restaurants to pick up food for
us because I'm scared that I'm going to be talked
to judge for being fake and dismissed. And I've had that.
It's not it's not just a fear. It's happened to me,
and for many times that I've been a part of
that fear. Because of that, I shut down, and therefore
(23:24):
it's that worse reaction of I feed into that, So
therefore I can't come out that like they're trying to
dig my whole out, and it's just the whole thing.
And I really wish I could have found that part
in in college and finding that identity, because it's harder
as an adult. It's harder trying to figure that out
as an adult because and we're going to talk about
this eventually, trying to make friends as an adult, trying
(23:46):
to find connections like that as an adult, it's difficult.
And I really wish I could have been able to
be like you want to take advantage of this, as
many times I purposely distanced myself from that ethnicity, from
this culture, and I regret that so hard. Yeah, when
I look back, for me to for for a lot
(24:08):
of those that kind of related in a way of
that is like just I wish there was a way
to recognize like sexism, what you're I don't know, like
these things that are hurting you when you don't realize
why you're hurting you and you're playing into it, which
is kind of what I was saying of like, yeah,
I wish I could have been okay being like this
(24:30):
isn't healthy. I'm going to cut you out. Like the
importance of cutting out toxic friendships are being able to
know what you want, Like I still struggle with that
to this day. What do you want? And why can't
I just wise the simple question of what you want,
like leave me just hamstrong. But when you're in high school, especially,
I think when you're younger, that can be a really
(24:50):
dangerous proposition when you're like, well maybe I should want
this thing, right, yes, let us make it out or whatever,
And then I wish I wish I had known better
to be able to say no and fiel like I
have enough self confidence to know what I want and
say no, and I believe that I was worth like
it wasn't worth some guy not having blue balls, versus
(25:10):
like my emotional state, it's not. Yeah, And you know,
I will say, as I was talking about my younger
family member trying to figure that out and getting there,
I'm glad to know that she's there now because she's
ten years ahead of me, you know what I mean.
I'm jure you would say that for that younger generation,
and I'm glad that they're learning from our mistakes and
or they're willing to have that conversation. Yeah, me too.
(25:34):
And that's the positivity I think of social networking and
social media, all of that is a different level when
you start realizing beyond the conforming ideas that we had,
and you and I have a tenure gap, So there's
just this whole level of conversation in that. But I
find it interesting because yeah, as everyone heard my identity crisis,
(25:57):
and I'm like, oh my god, it's been twenty years
and I've been over to two years, over to over
y'all several years, over twenty years of being in high school.
That I'm like, what I forgot? The massive change that
I hope is for the better. That there are things
that I'm glad I didn't have to deal with social
media as a kid would have wrecked me, I think,
because I are it wrext me. Today, when I see
(26:19):
anything that looks like criticism towards us, I'm like, oh
my god, they ain't me. But at the same time,
the ability to see beyond your own world it's nice.
It's it's it's finally there. And the being able to
connect because hearing stories of those who are going through
the same thing, it's heartening as as much as it
(26:40):
is it is sad, but it's this commoditative like, thank god,
I'm not the only one, you know. And yeah, I
feel like there's no other path I've could have gone
down that would have led me to hear and I'm
grateful for that. But there are moments that I'm like, man,
I really wish I had known back some of the
(27:01):
things I know today. Oh yeah, it's funny you say that,
because I remember we had a talent show in high school.
I did not compete, but this one kid, Spencer, he played.
I wish I had known what I do now when
I was younger, and I remember sitting there like bah,
(27:21):
and I'm like, so many years ago, Oh wow, we've
gone down a lot of memory lane trips. Yes, obviously
we could keep talking, but you know, another another happy hour,
(27:41):
more high school memories perhaps, but we would love to
hear high school memories from you listeners. If you would
like to email us about them, you can or email
Stuff in your Mom Stuff at ihart mea dot com.
You can find us on Twitter at most stuff Podcasts
or Instagram and Stuff I've Never Told You. Thanks as
always to our superproducer Christina. You need to hear your memory, yes,
(28:02):
and thanks to you for listening Stuff I Never told You.
The production of I Hire Radio for More podcast on
my Heart Radio is the get her radio app, Apple
podcast or where you listening to your favorite shops
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I look up to
stuff I've never told your production of I Heart Radio,
and welcome to another happy hour. Welcome as always, I'm
saying that to you Andy as well. I'm welcoming to
(00:25):
you as well as I'm happy to be here. Also
paid to be here, but I am happy to see you.
I'm happy to see you. And just as a reminder,
the drinks that we are drinking are not our sponsors.
Is just someone that we found that we thought are
delightful and have women involved, which should be so hard
(00:47):
but sometimes can be to find companies that have women
involved as part of the major production. I hope that
changes one day. Anyway, this is where we are. But
also if you are drinking, please drink responsibly whatever you
are drinking, whether it is an alcoholic beverage, a caffeinated beverage,
(01:08):
and or something that you enjoy way too much, like
if you're doing a milkshakey but you know you don't
like us. Intolerant not a great idea. I do it
all the time and I'm not necessarily intolerant, but it's
not great with my body. I've discovered too much. I
shouldn't have tea. That's what I write. Got all weird,
intolerant with tea, so and anything with ninten it. Keep
that away, so a lot of things. Just be responsible.
(01:33):
And today we are sipping on some delicious beers from
Hyperion Brewing, which is located in Jacksonville, Florida, if you're interested,
and by the way, if you get a chance to
be in downtown Jacksonville and actually go to the brewery,
the bartenders are delightful. I had two lovely young ladies
who were so kind and so helpful and also very
(01:56):
weird at about all the questions I was asking rightly,
so I explained why. But you know, it's one of
those weird things where I'm like, I'm a podcaster and
You're like, there's millions of you essentially, and why do
I care? And I'm like, yeah, that's fair. I hope
they're listening. Hello. I don't think so. They one of
them said they kind of heard of us. I was
(02:18):
trying to explain. It's one of those moments where I'm like,
I'm not trying to get free things, please know, I
just want you to know this is why I'm asking
all of these questions, because you're looking at me like
I'm a weirdo. Fair enough, but they were very kind
and so helpful and so informative, and they did help
me pick out these beers from hyperion as well. So
I'm going to go ahead and open mind to start
(02:38):
the drunk and I want to see if we can
do this without pouring this into my lap because I
did not have luck last time. That was my crowler
is a thirty two ouncer. And I am not going
to be drinking all of this about myself. I promise
I can't. And the ghozl I believe. I just poured
(02:59):
myself a six ounce poor. I used to be able
to do this. Oh you do you have experience in
that world, so I trust you. I am drinking a
Selene satrine, which is a blood orange blonde. Just why
any what are you drinking? I am drinking hot Daity,
which is a great name, which is an I P
(03:20):
A type of I P A yeah, which I haven't
sipped yet. I just told you that, but I trust
that is the truth. You're not trying to trick me.
I'm not trying to trict you today today um and
just kind of give you a background of hot Perion.
It was started by a businesswoman, Alexandremmy Cowen, who is
a twenty nine year old who had to desire to
be her own boss. Yeah, girl, do it and have
(03:44):
a startup, and after reconnecting with a high school friend
dabbling with some homebrewing, decided to go down the brewing avenue.
And she did have a little bit hard time trying
to get the started, especially in trying to get money
and loans. Eventually she was able to partner with a
couple from Michigan and open end up the brewery in
downtown Jacksonville. It is really lovely. It's called Springfield Little
(04:05):
Neighborhood just in f Y. There's a few breweries down
that way, and it was really delight and if you
do go into the space, it's such a large, cute
space because they have this whole like set up in
the front where you can play games and look at
all these fun artwork. And then if you go into
the bag they have a whole garden area and it's
(04:27):
massive and you can play little games out there. They
have plans like it is. They went all out, like
they have fire pits everywhere. It was nice and like
man I wish I lived here, just gonna have a
party in the back at the brewery. Specific at that brewery,
like it's a fun brewery. I was like, wow, this
is fantastic anyway, but it is a fun little company.
(04:47):
And yeah. I went to Jacksonville to visit my partner's
family and I was like, hey, Florida. We kind of
talked about a little bit. The distributing loss interstate is
really complicated, and you can't get things everywhere in Florida
and Georgia as much as you would think, don't have
a good connection, and so there's things down there that
(05:07):
we can't get in Georgia's I wanted to try a
couple of breweries and I didn't a couple of Hyperion
was one of them, and very glad to find it.
We all enjoyed it very much and found good beers.
But yeah, I am drinking this a Selene Citrine blood
orange blonde, which if you know much about blonde, it
is a lighter, almost like a summary beer, kind of
(05:29):
along the ale ish, so not really hoppy, not really
tired or bitter in any way. It is very smooth
to me. It's multi ish. It does have a blood
orange like hey ish, and I say, hey ish, and
that it's very just soft and mellow in that level
that smell you get that's like refreshing, that is comforting
to me. Um, and that a little bit of citrus
(05:51):
is a really big delight. And I love, love the
taste of this. And I definitely understand that the first
thing you smell is the orange and it is a
lightful beer. And their description says it is a situacy,
crisp and pink, and it is a piquache color ish,
this blonde will leave you feeling like you're sipping bruise
in a beautiful orchard on a sunny day. Hey, right,
(06:13):
right right. I don't know, it's a popular beer descriptor.
I get what you're saying. That sounds lovely. I am
as I said, drinking the Hot Deity. I feel like
I said this in the last one too, But I
wouldn't have said this was an I p A actually,
because to me, whether I'm wrong or right, based on
the I p A S I've had in my life,
(06:35):
it would be much more hoppy and bitter. And that's
definitely still there, definitely still there at the end, but
it's it's I also was gonna use mellow, and then
you used mellow. It's much mellower in the front, and
it's got kind of it's not malt, but it like lingers.
It's sort of a grassy, vegetal feeling going on, but
(06:56):
it's it's brighter than what I'm used to with a
lot of I p s. And I know I say
that knowing that I have had a lot of one
specific type of IPA in my life. Right, I know
that the world of I P A is bigger than
what my experiences, but just for me when I go
into something. So from their description, it is a balanced
I PA with four varieties of hops Magnum for bitterness,
(07:18):
centennial and Summit for notes of citrus, and mosaic to
provide a fruity aroma. Right, so this is not a
double I p A, which is typically a little more
bitter and over like a little sweeter, And it's not
It doesn't seem like a New England style either, which
has a little more bitterness. Typically I could be wrong.
They're gonna yell at me. Someone's gonna yell at me.
(07:38):
It's been a minute. I'm not drinking it now, But
when I had it, at the tasting, it didn't feel
that way mosaic, and I think I've said this before.
It is one of my favorite hops because it does
have that fruity a roma, so it almost takes like
the grassy or sometimes there's some beers that smells like
weed like. It is that level of aroma, and it
mellows it out with a little more fruitiness to it,
(08:00):
and I think it adds a greatness to it. This
is me of course, like people talk about with the
cosmos and all those things. Anyway, that's a whole different
other level. But this is a complex for sure, with
the fact that they have four varieties of hops, but
they balanced it nicely. My opinion from back then, that's
my nose trying to remember three weeks ago, so two
weeks ago, three weeks ago, how many weeks ago? So
(08:21):
many weeks ago, y'all, it could be any number of weeks.
There's so many weeks. One of the things that I
(08:42):
did love about Alexandra's story about the fact that she
got to reconnect with a high school friend because she
moved away came back. Apparently he worked with the company.
I think it's like to slay for South America or
something and came back and found a ruse and just
like kind of reconnected, and they started making me think
about high school, you know, like if I and I'm
not gonna lie, I think there's a been a part
(09:02):
of me. So a couple of years ago, it was
my tenure reunion and I was petrified, there's no way
in hell I'm going to my tenure reunion. All right.
Oh no, A couple of years. Oh my god, I've
met my twenty year reunion. Holy I'm having a crisis.
I'm having a mode of crisis. Give me a minute.
(09:23):
A couple of weeks turned into a couple of years
for me. A decade is I'm a decade off? Oh
my god. I was like, Okay, listeners, I'm so sorry.
I just had an identity crisis, a midlife crisis as
we speak, because I just realized it was twenty year
reunion and not tenu reunion. We did have an excuse
(09:45):
of having in COVID, and I'm very grateful for that
because there's no way in hell I would go to it.
I would like to maintain that I feel like I
looked younger than most of the people from my generation
because of my brown, oily skin. But I have been
thinking about out all of the people that I've lost
contact with, and I honestly think I've only talked to
two or three people from my high school. And I
(10:07):
started thinking about, man, how much have we changed? And
also my adorable family member who has recently kind of
come away from that and has grown as an adult,
looking back on her and her having her own identity
crisis of like, I'm changing so much and become a
different person, what does this look like? And I want
to ask you when you were in high school, and
(10:29):
I think we've already talked about this before, but what
did you think? What were your plans when you were
like a senior year in high school, because that was
a pivotal year we were making all of these big plans.
What were your plans? Uh, honestly, they were pretty shallow
looking back, because I I was a real overachiever in school.
(10:51):
But for some reason, when I became a senior, I
got the worst case of senioritis. Like I would sit
in the parking lot and think I could just drive
away and no one would see me again. And it
was why, Like I can't really tell you. I guess
it was like maybe fear of change and just being tired,
but so I wanted it. I wanted a change I
wanted like I chose the school I went to. I
(11:12):
know I've said it before. I'm embarrassed by it, but
I chose it because I thought I have the best
chance at like partying and finding a man, which was
way off. I was so wrong, and ultimately I'm glad
I am, but I wanted like that. I was like,
you know, maybe I just needed a new scenery and
all be able to be like the cool person because
(11:33):
I wasn't uncooled, but I was definitely not cool. I
was like the well liked crowd. But I thought it
could build a new identity. I guess what I'm saying.
I thought I could get I could date, and I
wouldn't feel so weird about dating somebody I've known since kindergarten.
I thought I could make a new kind of personality,
because it's hard to do that when you've known people
for so long. For me, it was. And then I
(11:55):
really wanted to travel, so that's why I chose that
agree I chose, which also feels very shallow and especially
now like looking back, as I said, I would have
been a terrible spy. But I also wanted to be
a diplomat, and I was thinking about like just traveling
being a diplomat. But so that's what I thought. I
thought I was going to go kind of reinvent myself,
(12:16):
as they say, and I did have in the back
of my head like I really want to write and
I really want to be an actor. But I also
I'm a very logical person, and I'm really prone to arguments,
like my parents were like, you know, we're not going
to pay for any like you need you need to
find a way to pay for college, and no one
(12:37):
can get jobs in essentially is what they told me,
which you know, right or wrong, that's what they said.
And I was like, you're right, that's very hard to
be able to succeed in. I'll do this other thing.
I did also follow one of my friends to Georgia Tech.
She wasn't the only reason I chose it, but she
was part of the reason. I'll say that, yeah, yeah,
for myself, I dreamt of leaving La j Georgia. That
(12:58):
was my big goal, and but wanted to go somewhere
that I could be with friends. So I'd gone with
my high school best friend. We all got in. We
were so excited she and our roommates for a freshman year.
It didn't break us, surprisingly, the or a lot of screaming,
but I definitely was excited. I got accepted. I was
a first one to leave the home now to go
(13:19):
to school. Now, the others did leave the home, but
it was because a marriage, so well that was a
whole different conversation. But I was not about that obviously,
And I had this whole plan. I had this plan
that I was going to be a missionary, a doctor,
and I was going to travel the world and save
the world essentially. And then eventually, like I came back
and that didn't happen, and then I went back and
(13:41):
forth about like, well, maybe I don't want to do this,
maybe I want to be a social worker. And I
did decide early on to be a part of that world.
But yeah, I had this dream. I was going to
go there, find my husband as well, We're going to
connect travel the world together. I had read too many
Christian books about couples who left on mission trip and
(14:01):
that was gonna be me having children. Maybe understanding that
there was a lot of trauma in the back of
my mind. But you know, I had already solved it
because Jesus right, which is not kind of sending for
those who believe in religion, but that was really like, oh,
this is not going to be a fixed fall, but
I believed it to be at that point for me.
And yeah, I think I thought the same thing about
(14:22):
like I'm gonna find myself. I'm gonna I'm gonna be
the girl who finds a man and it's a perfect man,
and everybody's gonna be jealous of this man because in
school there I never dated. I didn't have boyfriends, like,
it wasn't a thing for me. I was the responsible one.
I was the mom of my friend group, and finally
I was going to go out and find myself. It
didn't happen that way. That's the whole like SpongeBob me,
(14:47):
you know, like I don't do. But yeah, and with that,
I've got to ask you, how did that experience actually
change when you left? Were your expectations rather, I think
my expectations changed really quickly because I had been used
to not having to study, like I had to put
in a lot of homework time, but I didn't have
(15:08):
to study, and then I almost failed my first semester
of college and so right after that because I was
an overachiever and that you know, oh my god, what
a eye opener that was. And I will say I
didn't reinvent myself in the way I thought I would,
and I almost hesitate to use that because I know
it's been made fun of so much. But I did.
I did go through a lot of growth, and I
(15:29):
did discover a lot about myself. A lot of it
makes me cringe looking back, but the thing that I
think I ultimately wanted, and I just didn't realize what
I the end goal of that was. Like I thought
it was me married with children, a different person, but
instead it was me who did get to go and travel,
even if it wasn't for like being a diplomat. But
(15:51):
I got to work in other countries through college, and
I made friends, and I did get to explore avenues
of myself that I hadn't yet and I got I
remember having so many and I know that's also a
joke too, is you go to like your liberal college
and they could they ruin you. But I remember having
conversations with people where somebody said something to me once
(16:14):
that to me now is such a foundational thing, but
back then I never heard anybody talk about it. But
she was talking about like the right to human dignity,
and we got into a conversation about that because a
lot of there were a lot of things I felt
and believed, but I wasn't good at articulating my felter
believed to them. So I did get that too. I
got that in college. I feel like I learned a
good work ethic and arguing. So I guess what I'm
(16:36):
saying is I didn't I had I wasn't correct about
the ultimate idea or goal of the end point, but
I got all the stuff that I was really underlying
of what I wanted. Right, Yeah, I was with you
the first semester of college. The first year of college,
I almost I didn't fail, but I was definitely seize
and I lost Hope, which is the Hope Grant, which
(16:57):
is the scholarship for B and then so um. When
I started college, I think it was in the middle
of the not middle, but like towards the beginning middle
of the program, because now it's changed. The standards have changed,
and I don't know if I would qualify now because
they're so much more stringent, but like I think I
definitely lost that because I got a few seas and
I was like, oh, I can't do chemistry, fair, fair,
(17:19):
I can't do calculus like this. Fair. I had an
Italian teacher like, you can't do it that way, and
I was like, wait, no, I'm about have it. Don't
do this to me. And so I had to reevaluate, oh,
maybe this is not my field. As well as the
fact though I actually went in a different direction. I
became more conservative almost in college, which is kind of
(17:40):
a lot of regret in that, like not necessarily my compassion,
but like in my ideas of keeping myself and making
sure I maintain myself, make sure I may be responsible decisions.
I'm not that crazy kid that does the crazy things
which I do. Kind of regret. I kind of wish
I'd been able to do a few of the crazy things.
And it wasn't until I saw the world and I
(18:02):
was plunked into the world and meaning like I started
with that job, I went outside of the Christian organizations
that I was a part of and realized, oh, the
world is not as insulated and and I've just been
going through microaggression towards me accepting that because that's what
I grew up with, not realizing these are wrong, but
like in an idea like this is wrong because they
(18:23):
made me want to be white, and I feel guilty
that I'm not white, and I feel ashamed of myself
because I'm not white, because according to them, this is
a superior race and micro aggression and the little digs
of being Asian which I have made Joseph myself, it's
not a good thing. Oh, this does hurt my self esteem.
I'm not just being self deprecating and funny. I'm literally
(18:45):
hurting my self esteem. And so were they. But because
I've given them permission, they think it's funny. And because
I have become their entertainment and their jokes and their
clown I have become entertainment and not and not realizing
this is what I had learned to acclimate. And in
college I fed into that way too long, um and
I had no one to tell me I was wrong. Instead,
(19:07):
I was encouraged to maintain that because I could not
see past the white communities. So for me, it's such
a weird thing. It's like I fed into it even
more to the fact that my conservative parents thought I
was pompous. Yeah, yeah, that's that's us a lot, right,
And I was, And I was like, I would not
(19:29):
disagree with them whatsoever. I'm sure they're missing that now,
but there's a lot to be said. I was like, oh, yeah,
I guess I have become a little different. And since then,
like my big change didn't happen until I left. I
really like feel like college was even more insular for
(19:49):
me readly enough. Ye, And I think that goes back
to this, what would you tell your high school self today?
(20:11):
That's a good question. I feel like I feel like
this is a question I get asked like three times
a year, and somehow I can never remember what I
always say because I think for me, a lot of
it would be and I know this is an impossible thing.
I would have hated to hear it. I know a
lot of young people hate to hear it, but it
would have been like it's okay because I was so insecure.
(20:33):
I was so insecure and I would not. I just
felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. And there's a
lot of reasons for that. But because of that, I
spent like I don't know, when I look back on
high school. I just it's almost a feeling I remember
more of just being like shrinking and like hoping no
(20:55):
one noticed me, and feeling like I had to when
they did. I had to certain ways. Like I said,
I would really play up like being sexual, or people
would make fun of me for the drugs. Um they
thought I was on drugs and people make fun of
you for it, and I would play into it. And
really I was struggling and I needed help, and I
wish I could have confided in somebody that. But I
(21:17):
think that's the big thing. I know, it's annoying because
it's like cliche off, like it's going to get better.
I wish I I just wish I could have been like,
it's okay, so you have friends. I was lucky. I
had friends. Yeah, it wasn't perfect, but I had friends
and we were weird, but it was okay, right, Yeah,
And as you said that, I don't. Actually I only
(21:37):
have a couple of friends that I talked to. But
I think it's because we all grew together, and those
who I didn't grow with I don't see as much
or talked to as much. There's a big separation between us,
and that makes me sad, and obviously a lot of levels,
and a lot of that also has to do with
distance and where we are in life. You know, I
think you and I talked about this earlier about I've
(22:00):
gotten to the point that, you know, some people are
in their second marriage with more children, or they have
five children, three children, four children, like so many more
children that it's impossible to get together. And there's it's
almost this whole layer of being within your socioeconomic status.
And what I mean by that not necessarily about finances,
(22:20):
but it is about finances because when you have to
two incomes, it was very different from my twenty nine
thousand dollars a year income that I was getting at
one point in time, so very different. But for myself,
I really, like I said, I wish I had a
person in my life that taught me what it is
(22:41):
to have my own identity, because there was a lot
that I missed out on. There's a lot of I'm
fearful of today and even exploring and even saying, like
claiming myself as Korean seems bold because if I started
getting asked questions, I started falling apart. Even to the
point that I have my white partner to go in
(23:03):
and to authentic Korean restaurants to pick up food for
us because I'm scared that I'm going to be talked
to judge for being fake and dismissed. And I've had that.
It's not it's not just a fear. It's happened to me,
and for many times that I've been a part of
that fear. Because of that, I shut down, and therefore
(23:24):
it's that worse reaction of I feed into that, So
therefore I can't come out that like they're trying to
dig my whole out, and it's just the whole thing.
And I really wish I could have found that part
in in college and finding that identity, because it's harder
as an adult. It's harder trying to figure that out
as an adult because and we're going to talk about
this eventually, trying to make friends as an adult, trying
(23:46):
to find connections like that as an adult, it's difficult.
And I really wish I could have been able to
be like you want to take advantage of this, as
many times I purposely distanced myself from that ethnicity, from
this culture, and I regret that so hard. Yeah, when
I look back, for me to for for a lot
(24:08):
of those that kind of related in a way of
that is like just I wish there was a way
to recognize like sexism, what you're I don't know, like
these things that are hurting you when you don't realize
why you're hurting you and you're playing into it, which
is kind of what I was saying of like, yeah,
I wish I could have been okay being like this
(24:30):
isn't healthy. I'm going to cut you out. Like the
importance of cutting out toxic friendships are being able to
know what you want, Like I still struggle with that
to this day. What do you want? And why can't
I just wise the simple question of what you want,
like leave me just hamstrong. But when you're in high school, especially,
I think when you're younger, that can be a really
(24:50):
dangerous proposition when you're like, well maybe I should want
this thing, right, yes, let us make it out or whatever,
And then I wish I wish I had known better
to be able to say no and fiel like I
have enough self confidence to know what I want and
say no, and I believe that I was worth like
it wasn't worth some guy not having blue balls, versus
(25:10):
like my emotional state, it's not. Yeah, And you know,
I will say, as I was talking about my younger
family member trying to figure that out and getting there,
I'm glad to know that she's there now because she's
ten years ahead of me, you know what I mean.
I'm jure you would say that for that younger generation,
and I'm glad that they're learning from our mistakes and
or they're willing to have that conversation. Yeah, me too.
(25:34):
And that's the positivity I think of social networking and
social media, all of that is a different level when
you start realizing beyond the conforming ideas that we had,
and you and I have a tenure gap, So there's
just this whole level of conversation in that. But I
find it interesting because yeah, as everyone heard my identity crisis,
(25:57):
and I'm like, oh my god, it's been twenty years
and I've been over to two years, over to over
y'all several years, over twenty years of being in high school.
That I'm like, what I forgot? The massive change that
I hope is for the better. That there are things
that I'm glad I didn't have to deal with social
media as a kid would have wrecked me, I think,
because I are it wrext me. Today, when I see
(26:19):
anything that looks like criticism towards us, I'm like, oh
my god, they ain't me. But at the same time,
the ability to see beyond your own world it's nice.
It's it's it's finally there. And the being able to
connect because hearing stories of those who are going through
the same thing, it's heartening as as much as it
(26:40):
is it is sad, but it's this commoditative like, thank god,
I'm not the only one, you know. And yeah, I
feel like there's no other path I've could have gone
down that would have led me to hear and I'm
grateful for that. But there are moments that I'm like, man,
I really wish I had known back some of the
(27:01):
things I know today. Oh yeah, it's funny you say that,
because I remember we had a talent show in high school.
I did not compete, but this one kid, Spencer, he played.
I wish I had known what I do now when
I was younger, and I remember sitting there like bah,
(27:21):
and I'm like, so many years ago, Oh wow, we've
gone down a lot of memory lane trips. Yes, obviously
we could keep talking, but you know, another another happy hour,
(27:41):
more high school memories perhaps, but we would love to
hear high school memories from you listeners. If you would
like to email us about them, you can or email
Stuff in your Mom Stuff at ihart mea dot com.
You can find us on Twitter at most stuff Podcasts
or Instagram and Stuff I've Never Told You. Thanks as
always to our superproducer Christina. You need to hear your memory, yes,
(28:02):
and thanks to you for listening Stuff I Never told You.
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