July 28, 2022 • 23 mins
We all have those things we watch over and over and over and over and over and over again right? Right??? Turns out a lot of us do - we look into why that is.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stephan
I never told your production of iHeart Radio ed. Welcome
to another episode of Happy Hour in which we either
talk about something that we are just thinking about, watching
(00:27):
things and talking about that, or just you know, hanging out. Um,
and today it's my turn and I'm gonna do a
little bit of psychosis. So let's let's just think on
this for a minute. And Annie, I know you even
have plenty to say. You're gonna have plenty to say, um,
because we often talk about fiction and or shows, and
(00:49):
we obviously love movies and books. Because as part of
our series, of course, before we start that, just a reminder,
we are doing a happy hour, and with a happy
hour means to drink. We're responsibly correct any yes, always,
or do whatever responsibly. So if you're driving and you're
enthralled in our conversation and you're saying things with us,
(01:09):
pay attention to the road, you be responsible correct. Also, Uh,
we're not sponsored by any specific drinks. We are sponsored
by other things, as you will tell in our ads
that come in between our episodes so often, but not
specifically of anything. So if anybody has some cool drinks
(01:29):
or beverages or anything that they would love for us.
A sponsor that actually is ethically good, come on, couldn't
come at us. But today, what are you drinking? Annie?
I am drinking a simple vodka soda. Oh nice, because
I have some vodka or you normally don't, so I'm
mixing it up a little bit. Okay, okay, okay, And
(01:50):
I am kind of still on vacation mode and so
that means I'm very tired and alcohol makes me sleepy.
So I'm keeping it non alcoholic that today with just
some offee because I need to be alert in seltzer water.
You know, sometimes you just have to hold back today
that day. But also because I've been thinking about all
(02:14):
of the shows that we talked about. We We're going
to talk about so much more, I know in the future,
especially when it comes to like mommy issues and parent
issues and drama within families, because I've been something in
my head and how often these shows center around family
drama blah blah blah. Also the fact that I am
a serial rewatcher, to the fact that my partner comes in,
(02:39):
knows what I'm watching and probably has seen one segment
of a series ten times without ever seeing the entire
series or even a full episode at any point in time.
Like that's how often I do this. Um to the
point that when people tell me how much they rewatch
something that they love, like you and I have some
(02:59):
several shows common uh Lauren from uh Saver, your other
co host, your other other and I've talked about it
and she was shamefully tell me how much she watched something,
and I'd be like, yeah, me too, I've only watched
that many times. But I really think that's of course,
it's become bigger and bigger in conversation, especially during the pandemic.
(03:22):
You have a ritual which I have decided to take
part in since the beginning of the pandemic, Right, That's
why I started it. I was, it's kind of become
where so I know we've talked about this before, but
briefly before we get into the like the heart of
this conversation. I had this Sunday Sunday Sunday, which has
(03:42):
a long history, but during the pandemic, I turned it
into I'm going to watch the original Star Wars trilogy
every Sunday until the pandemic is over. So I started
in March I started March thirteenth, that weekend, um, and
I've been doing it since and I do stuff in
the background when they're on most of the time. But
(04:03):
I don't know when the pandemic will end. Now, I'm
like when window when do I say? Okay, I did
the thing that I found And originally I was going
to do a Star Wars place. It was all about
memorizing it, and then it became all that's the end
of the world is coming. I have to be able
to play these movies in my heads to memorize them.
So I don't know. I don't know what's gonna I
don't know the future of it all right, right, Which
(04:27):
is funny because we watched a movie that I had
never seen in my life and they actually have an
apocalyptic scene where they are redoing Star Wars as you
had talked about, yeah, which was not what at all
what I thought was going to be. I was like, oh,
this is what I was very confused by the premise
because to me, it was supposed to be in the
(04:48):
Middle Ages, and I'm like, oh, this is not. This
is apocalyptic with dragons. That's a new twist. It's an
interesting film, Okay, I'm both making a love twist. Um.
And I started thinking about that, and you know, it
became a funny tweet about how, yeah, my mental health
is pretty much reprised of baking bread and watching uh
(05:09):
The Office every day repeatedly um, And I was like,
oh my god, me except for the bread making part.
I just sat watched things while I played games on
my phone. That's my that was my zone out moment.
And I always thought I was odd and I felt
a shame because there were moments of where is it
it's calculated how many times you've watched something, and I'm like, oh, no,
(05:30):
I don't need to see this. I don't I don't
need to see how many times I've seen this? But
thank you. But yeah, it's not unusual. As In fact,
they talked about in a Vogue article about why we
rewatched things UH that even though The Office ended in
it clocked over eighty seven million minutes of viewership in
(05:51):
twenty twenty alone during the pandemic UM, which was confirmed
by Nielsen, who does a lot of media statistics and
all of that. And I found that interesting. That made
me feel good because that was also one of the
shows that I would rewatch, which took me forever to
actually watch to begin with because I was made me
feel so awkward and so uncomfortable. But after I made
(06:12):
it through the first watch through, I knew when I
could fast forward or get up to get take breaks
because I knew how cringe e an episode would be interesting. Yeah,
this is how I do things. Well, no, because I
can't wait to compare You and I have a different
we'll talk about it, but yeah, we wait, should we should? Um?
But I found that very interesting because this is what
(06:33):
I do. I have a handful of shows and you
probably could name them that I rewatched consistently. I rewatched
it to go to bed. I uh, we watch it
while I'm stressed. I rewatched it to just sit and
zone out. Like it's so many times that you will
see me watch the same five shows, which my partner
doesn't do this, although he does have comfort movies, but
(06:53):
there's only a few that he has. UM. So I
always thought that I was odd for this, especially because
things like The Office does not politically age well, like
it's not politically correct, and there's a lot of moments
I'm like, oh my god, they could not do this today,
and they shouldn't. And those are some of the cringe moments.
I'm like, I can't watch that. I can't can't watch that.
(07:26):
And in that same Vogue article they talked about possibly
why and then having this conversation and talks about it
is unsurprising that we looked for security, familiarity and routine
and not everyday lives to gain a sense of control.
Sameness and repetition can help reduce anxiety, as we can
have an existing knowledge of how things are likely to
and in turn dial back uncertainty and worry. We can
(07:49):
watch what we know over and over again without any surprises,
there by giving us the control and predictability we need
in an unpredictable global situation, which is exactly right. Like,
that's definitely something that I think of constantly that I
know what to expect, which is also why I don't
like watching new things. I have to work up to
(08:10):
watching new things. M do you Okay, So this was
the thing I want to talk about. Yes, But I'm
also bad at I'm bad about I don't want to
be spoiled. If something is culturally relevant people are talking
about it, I want to watch it and be up
to date. But I also feel, and I've said this before,
(08:30):
like television is homework. Um So, I all of the
things I rewatched, none of them are TV shows because
to me, that that that's forever, Like what is it? Like?
I need it to end. I'm a completionist. A friend
of mine this weekend was like, I can see why
you can't play Open World games. You need like the beginning,
the end, and then it's done. Like if I can't
(08:53):
finish it within a day, no, so so things like,
um I did after you recommended it. I started only
murders in the building. This is what we do in
the shadows right now has a new season I love.
I love watching those, and I watched them the day
they come out. But I'm so bad at watching them
because I've been doing work or reading fan fiction or
(09:14):
so I'll watch them like two or three times in
a day the new episode because I probably missed like
a whole bit where I just got distracted. Um So,
I feel like that's an interesting difference between you and I.
But I do still have to, Like, if there's something
that people tell me I love, you'll love it. It's
five seasons long. I really have to work up to that.
(09:35):
I will do it, but it is I'm with you
there where I'm like, okay, okay, right, which is funny.
And the reason I rewatch longer series is because I
don't want it to end. The feeling of something ending
makes me feel like I've lost somebody or there's this
(09:55):
feeling of morning for whatever the show is is, or
the person or the characters, I am going through that.
So I watched The Flash, probably one of the only
series that I've watched consistently and on updated basis, meaning
like it just released its newest episodes. There's three of them,
(10:16):
but it just released its newest episode on Netflix. I
think it was filmed in two so actually updated. And
I'm very sad becaus to like, several of the main
characters are gone and they just gone and there's no
mention of them, and I'm like, this makes me so sad.
And I know, I know these people are actors and
this is not their lives, but to me, that's the
(10:38):
lives of this characters. Of course, we're gonna talk about
this in a minute too, but just about the fact
that they that these characters are gone makes the show
even sadder to me. And I know it's eventually going
to end, like you can feel it ending, like they
need to end because you don't want it to get
bad either. But at the same time, like there's this
morning and lost to it that I cannot stand, like
(10:59):
it it makes he feel empty. I'm not gonna lie supernatural, which,
by the way, some person was like, if you watch
this show, I don't trust you. I was like, there's
a lot of this problematic. There's so many things that
I'm ready to go down the rabbit hole. And I
have this conversation because I know the Dean Sam debate
is out there, and I still have like a fundamental,
like harsh list because I'm like, I get why Dean
(11:21):
is the favorite. We're not talking specifically about them, I
promise um. But at the same I'm like, he is
really problematic, Like he's abusive in every form of the way.
Like I get he's redeemable according to the fans, and
I love Dean. Don't don't come at me when people
gonna yell at me, But at the same time, he's
truly abusive the amount of punches, And I get it,
(11:41):
it's supposed to be him showing emotion, But why are
we okay when then showing violence and emotions like type
of thing. There's a lot of conversations we can have
on this too. Uh. But all of that to say,
like when these characters to me like go away or
when something abruptly is it makes me very very very
sad like to the point. And it may be because
(12:01):
I didn't love the way at the end of Hey,
I know, I'm not gonna argue about that. There's been
a lot of like feelings of the ending of shows
like Supernatural which have went out for like what fourteen years,
fifteen years, which is an obscenely long time that's not
a soap opera. Like the fact that they continued with
(12:22):
their main characters that long it's pretty significant, um, but
the fact that it went on that long, and for me,
the ending was so sad and I was like, I
can never watch, so I won't watch the last like
three episodes. I just keep starting it over again, like
that's who I was. I need to go back to
the nostalgia. Even though there's some very problematic episodes in
(12:45):
that series as well, there's so many problematic things that
I still enjoy. For my zoning out, which is a
whole different conversation but for me, it is that needing
to have that comfort of controlling what I can and
don't want to see. So if I don't want to
see a plotline, I fast forward, and because I know
it well enough, I know how long to fast forward.
(13:06):
Like it's kind of like one of those moments. Um
there and again, if I've said it so often, I
will re watch things just because I haven't seen it
in so long that I'm like, I have to watch
this because I forgot what this was. But also to that,
the article talks about the fact of the love of
the characters, and I thought it was interesting folks, as
people who struggle with expressing themselves often tend to take
(13:29):
on characteristics from the characters they love. Uh. These small
mechanisms can help you express emotions that have previously been
difficult to express. So I was like, hm, hmmm, I'm
pretty good about expressing myself. But at the same time,
this is the drama, the layer that's already been written
in a dialogue. I'm like, maybe I could say that
instead and taking on that persona I know for the
(13:52):
longest time, and she's full real, for real problematic. Um.
I did think I was a little a little like
Liz Lemon in Dirty Rock because at the very least,
like she was single, she was always running into issues
she had. She was a mess, and she was sarcastic,
and it wasn't about being cute. Looking back on it, like,
oh no, she was really anti women, even though she
(14:14):
was supposed to be feminist in her in her you know,
and she's an actual terrible person if you met her
in real life, like the overbearing boss who would never
give way, like give vacations anyway, whatever. But like I did,
I used her as someone was like, oh, look, she's
a leading girl to leading lady, and I could be
like her as well. Yeah. Yeah, And that's the conversation
(14:37):
We've had a lot um on this show, and it's
specifically with me with Trauma about why like I write
fan fiction and why I get upset when people don't
like our outright or mean about characters. Said, I like,
it's because it feels like you're attacking me at that point, um,
and because there's a reason I connect to them, and
if you are attacking that, it feels like you're jacking me,
(15:00):
which is not necessarity case. I know that, but it
does feel that way because I identify with these characters
so much, and for me, it's very helpful to express
our work through things because, as I've said before, I
think it's a self esteem thing almost where if I
love Leiah or Luke and they go through something that
(15:23):
I can relate to, and they go through it in
are you know able to continue their lives as a
functioning adults, then I can do it too like I can.
And it doesn't I don't look down on them for
going through this thing, whereas I might for myself. Um,
and that's you know, verging into more fan fiction and territory,
but it is something where I can just sit and
(15:47):
imagine about how they would interact in a certain situation
and it makes me feel better. I can write fan
fiction about them in a certain situation that's really about
about me, and it makes me feel better. It's just
those connections you form with something or someone that feels
so comforting. Yeah. The Atlantic has an article about it
(16:21):
as well, and they wrote watching something again and again
seems like it would make entertainment loses an initial pill.
But psychologists have found that reputation, reads affection, familiar fair
requires less mental energy to process, and when that when
something is easy to think about, we tend to consider
it good. So the idea that repetition makes it easier
(16:41):
for us to process and think about. And then also
it becomes something that's a part of us. It brings
in an affection to it, and I think that's perfect.
Apparently there is a scientific term for this, and it's
mere exposure effect. So that's a that's a whole of
the conversation in itself. But yeah, you grow to love
these characters, you grow to like have some ownership of
as characters, which we've talked about in our episodes about fandoms. Um,
(17:04):
I feel the same way. So initially I was going
to talk about Once Was Upon a Time, which is
that whole drama series based on fairy tales, and how
much I just really loved it, Like it becomes enough
of drama, but then also all the family appeal that
it's kind of like oh, and then all the fantasy
appeal that I'm like, all, there we go, and then
so many of the women come rising up being their
(17:24):
own heroes type of thing. You're like, yeah, yeah, very cheesy.
I love it. Um, I still love it to this
day and I still rewatch it. But it also talks
about just being able to heal, and just being able
to be angry, and just being able to grow, like
all of these things, and that's why I love fantasy
series to that level. I have used to love really
(17:46):
dark and dystopian type of series movies. I can't do
that as much anymore. I don't know. Maybe I'm just tired.
Maybe it's just like tired of crying. Who knows, but like,
those are the shows and movies that I find a
peece link for me. But at the same time, those
are the things that I find comforting. That is my hug,
that is my blanket, that is my cup of tea,
(18:08):
which we've done comfort series and some people like yourself
and as we know, our friend Marissa like sad movies
and I still don't at that. But that's okay. I
know sometimes you just need a good cry. Yeah yeah,
But I thought it was something to look down and
I did want to see if this was more of
like a gender thing. I couldn't find any articles, So
(18:30):
if someone out there has some knowledge of that, please
let us know, because I feel like, again, maybe it's
just been people around me. Most of the dudes in
my life. I can't understand why I do this, and
most of the women in my life or who link
linked them know why I do this and empathize with
(18:51):
me in such a great capacity that it feels gendered.
I don't know. I have a similar experience, and there's
some in some ways I think makes sense because we've
talked before about how, at least when we did that episode,
women prefer horror movies compared to men, and that's one
of the theories is because women have a lot more
constant anxieties and fears as compared to men. So it
(19:12):
could be something like that. It could be that it
expresses itself differently. I know this is probably a stretch.
I'd have to look into it. One of the reasons
I like to rewatch things over and over is because
I feel like I have to be doing something, like
I have to multitask. I have to multitesk even if
(19:33):
I don't want a multitask. So if I just want
to read fan fiction or work on D and D,
that's not enough. So I put on Star Wars because
then I'm watching Star Wars, but I'm also doing this,
like I have to have that, and I know women
are are at least again this is old, older episode,
but we did one, and women are more likely to
multitask because they feel too guilty about just doing the
one thing. And then for me, there's definitely like I mean,
(19:56):
you've seen it. I feel like a dopamine hit when
I'm like watch these things, like but here's the music,
here's it's far, here is this, and it's just like
it's I wonder if there's any studies on I bet
there is, because there was a lot of looking into
nostalgia and the effective nostalgia for a while. So I'm
just curious about that. And also I would like to
(20:16):
find statistics about what are the things people rewatch the
most right, Um, you know what they do talk about
the fact that the nostalgia is a reason for people
to binge watch. This Atlantic article talks about it is
saying that it's nice to remember the past merely because
it's the past. Uh, And and they talk about it
(20:36):
a little deeper, but I think it's for like they
talk about several reasons familiarity, nostalgia, just remembering the good
old days. And I'm maybe like one of those people.
That's why I loved musical so much, not because I
remember those days, but I want to know what those
days were like, and it seems so golden and amazing
at the same time, like I am Asian that in
my world, but in my mind it's so glamorous and
(20:59):
beautiful and you know, all of the spectrovision type of
level of colors, that cinematic level, that's what I would
think of. But then again we kind of know that
that's the the s guided reality of like Hollywood makes
it what it wants to be, right, but nostalgia but
at the same time, like watching movies about the eighties,
(21:19):
watching things about friendship, it still gets to me. Um
so now and Then was one of my favorite movies
because it kind of it was supposed to be like
I think, post Vietnam War, but there's still some nostalgia
to that being with your friends and doing all these
like things and like rituals and having these secrets and
knowing that you had one or two of you were
(21:40):
the best friend of my group. Like it was so
reminiscent to so many things, it still is nostalgic to me. Yeah, yeah,
I think I think they're the comfort of knowing how
something ends, the comfort of like being able to just
immerse yourself in the kind of the safety aspect of Okay,
I got this, and I think also it manifests in
(22:01):
different ways because I totally get why the office was
a big one when we were told you can't go
to the office anymore. Like. But for me, it's like, oh,
it's in space and this other like I don't have
to deal that's not reality. And I know they're gonna
be happy. That's why I like the end of Return
of the the Jedi. It seems like everything's gonna be happy,
and then you throw everything else in there and it's not.
So I like to Preston, it's just in coloset space.
But I I tell it makes sense. It makes perfect
(22:24):
sense to me, and it makes perfect sense like the
way you do it versus the way I do it.
It's it's really interesting and I'm glad you prop this
because sometimes I also feel embarrassed. But it's just forty something.
The old woman was like, I still we watch these
same shows. I love it, you know, do what we
(22:46):
can to get by and to feel comforted and happy,
happy thing, comfortable thing self care. Yes, yes, indeed. Well,
cheers to use Antha, cheers and cheers to you listeners,
If you have anything you like to rewatch, anything, any
(23:07):
thoughts around this, please let us know. You can email
us at stuff and your mom Stuff at I Hurt
mea dot com. You can find us on Twitter at
mom Stuff podcast or Instagram and stuff I Never Told You. Thanks.
It's always to our super producer, Christina Cheers, Christina Cheers,
and thanks to you for listening. Stuff I Never Told
You is a production of I Heart Radio from more podcast.
In My Heart Radio, you can visit me at her
radio app Apple Podcast, where you listen to your favorite
(23:28):
shows
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stephan
I never told your production of iHeart Radio ed. Welcome
to another episode of Happy Hour in which we either
talk about something that we are just thinking about, watching
(00:27):
things and talking about that, or just you know, hanging out. Um,
and today it's my turn and I'm gonna do a
little bit of psychosis. So let's let's just think on
this for a minute. And Annie, I know you even
have plenty to say. You're gonna have plenty to say, um,
because we often talk about fiction and or shows, and
(00:49):
we obviously love movies and books. Because as part of
our series, of course, before we start that, just a reminder,
we are doing a happy hour, and with a happy
hour means to drink. We're responsibly correct any yes, always,
or do whatever responsibly. So if you're driving and you're
enthralled in our conversation and you're saying things with us,
(01:09):
pay attention to the road, you be responsible correct. Also, Uh,
we're not sponsored by any specific drinks. We are sponsored
by other things, as you will tell in our ads
that come in between our episodes so often, but not
specifically of anything. So if anybody has some cool drinks
(01:29):
or beverages or anything that they would love for us.
A sponsor that actually is ethically good, come on, couldn't
come at us. But today, what are you drinking? Annie?
I am drinking a simple vodka soda. Oh nice, because
I have some vodka or you normally don't, so I'm
mixing it up a little bit. Okay, okay, okay, And
(01:50):
I am kind of still on vacation mode and so
that means I'm very tired and alcohol makes me sleepy.
So I'm keeping it non alcoholic that today with just
some offee because I need to be alert in seltzer water.
You know, sometimes you just have to hold back today
that day. But also because I've been thinking about all
(02:14):
of the shows that we talked about. We We're going
to talk about so much more, I know in the future,
especially when it comes to like mommy issues and parent
issues and drama within families, because I've been something in
my head and how often these shows center around family
drama blah blah blah. Also the fact that I am
a serial rewatcher, to the fact that my partner comes in,
(02:39):
knows what I'm watching and probably has seen one segment
of a series ten times without ever seeing the entire
series or even a full episode at any point in time.
Like that's how often I do this. Um to the
point that when people tell me how much they rewatch
something that they love, like you and I have some
(02:59):
several shows common uh Lauren from uh Saver, your other
co host, your other other and I've talked about it
and she was shamefully tell me how much she watched something,
and I'd be like, yeah, me too, I've only watched
that many times. But I really think that's of course,
it's become bigger and bigger in conversation, especially during the pandemic.
(03:22):
You have a ritual which I have decided to take
part in since the beginning of the pandemic, Right, That's
why I started it. I was, it's kind of become
where so I know we've talked about this before, but
briefly before we get into the like the heart of
this conversation. I had this Sunday Sunday Sunday, which has
(03:42):
a long history, but during the pandemic, I turned it
into I'm going to watch the original Star Wars trilogy
every Sunday until the pandemic is over. So I started
in March I started March thirteenth, that weekend, um, and
I've been doing it since and I do stuff in
the background when they're on most of the time. But
(04:03):
I don't know when the pandemic will end. Now, I'm
like when window when do I say? Okay, I did
the thing that I found And originally I was going
to do a Star Wars place. It was all about
memorizing it, and then it became all that's the end
of the world is coming. I have to be able
to play these movies in my heads to memorize them.
So I don't know. I don't know what's gonna I
don't know the future of it all right, right, Which
(04:27):
is funny because we watched a movie that I had
never seen in my life and they actually have an
apocalyptic scene where they are redoing Star Wars as you
had talked about, yeah, which was not what at all
what I thought was going to be. I was like, oh,
this is what I was very confused by the premise
because to me, it was supposed to be in the
(04:48):
Middle Ages, and I'm like, oh, this is not. This
is apocalyptic with dragons. That's a new twist. It's an
interesting film, Okay, I'm both making a love twist. Um.
And I started thinking about that, and you know, it
became a funny tweet about how, yeah, my mental health
is pretty much reprised of baking bread and watching uh
(05:09):
The Office every day repeatedly um, And I was like,
oh my god, me except for the bread making part.
I just sat watched things while I played games on
my phone. That's my that was my zone out moment.
And I always thought I was odd and I felt
a shame because there were moments of where is it
it's calculated how many times you've watched something, and I'm like, oh, no,
(05:30):
I don't need to see this. I don't I don't
need to see how many times I've seen this? But
thank you. But yeah, it's not unusual. As In fact,
they talked about in a Vogue article about why we
rewatched things UH that even though The Office ended in
it clocked over eighty seven million minutes of viewership in
(05:51):
twenty twenty alone during the pandemic UM, which was confirmed
by Nielsen, who does a lot of media statistics and
all of that. And I found that interesting. That made
me feel good because that was also one of the
shows that I would rewatch, which took me forever to
actually watch to begin with because I was made me
feel so awkward and so uncomfortable. But after I made
(06:12):
it through the first watch through, I knew when I
could fast forward or get up to get take breaks
because I knew how cringe e an episode would be interesting. Yeah,
this is how I do things. Well, no, because I
can't wait to compare You and I have a different
we'll talk about it, but yeah, we wait, should we should? Um?
But I found that very interesting because this is what
(06:33):
I do. I have a handful of shows and you
probably could name them that I rewatched consistently. I rewatched
it to go to bed. I uh, we watch it
while I'm stressed. I rewatched it to just sit and
zone out. Like it's so many times that you will
see me watch the same five shows, which my partner
doesn't do this, although he does have comfort movies, but
(06:53):
there's only a few that he has. UM. So I
always thought that I was odd for this, especially because
things like The Office does not politically age well, like
it's not politically correct, and there's a lot of moments
I'm like, oh my god, they could not do this today,
and they shouldn't. And those are some of the cringe moments.
I'm like, I can't watch that. I can't can't watch that.
(07:26):
And in that same Vogue article they talked about possibly
why and then having this conversation and talks about it
is unsurprising that we looked for security, familiarity and routine
and not everyday lives to gain a sense of control.
Sameness and repetition can help reduce anxiety, as we can
have an existing knowledge of how things are likely to
and in turn dial back uncertainty and worry. We can
(07:49):
watch what we know over and over again without any surprises,
there by giving us the control and predictability we need
in an unpredictable global situation, which is exactly right. Like,
that's definitely something that I think of constantly that I
know what to expect, which is also why I don't
like watching new things. I have to work up to
(08:10):
watching new things. M do you Okay, So this was
the thing I want to talk about. Yes, But I'm
also bad at I'm bad about I don't want to
be spoiled. If something is culturally relevant people are talking
about it, I want to watch it and be up
to date. But I also feel, and I've said this before,
(08:30):
like television is homework. Um So, I all of the
things I rewatched, none of them are TV shows because
to me, that that that's forever, Like what is it? Like?
I need it to end. I'm a completionist. A friend
of mine this weekend was like, I can see why
you can't play Open World games. You need like the beginning,
the end, and then it's done. Like if I can't
(08:53):
finish it within a day, no, so so things like,
um I did after you recommended it. I started only
murders in the building. This is what we do in
the shadows right now has a new season I love.
I love watching those, and I watched them the day
they come out. But I'm so bad at watching them
because I've been doing work or reading fan fiction or
(09:14):
so I'll watch them like two or three times in
a day the new episode because I probably missed like
a whole bit where I just got distracted. Um So,
I feel like that's an interesting difference between you and I.
But I do still have to, Like, if there's something
that people tell me I love, you'll love it. It's
five seasons long. I really have to work up to that.
(09:35):
I will do it, but it is I'm with you
there where I'm like, okay, okay, right, which is funny.
And the reason I rewatch longer series is because I
don't want it to end. The feeling of something ending
makes me feel like I've lost somebody or there's this
(09:55):
feeling of morning for whatever the show is is, or
the person or the characters, I am going through that.
So I watched The Flash, probably one of the only
series that I've watched consistently and on updated basis, meaning
like it just released its newest episodes. There's three of them,
(10:16):
but it just released its newest episode on Netflix. I
think it was filmed in two so actually updated. And
I'm very sad becaus to like, several of the main
characters are gone and they just gone and there's no
mention of them, and I'm like, this makes me so sad.
And I know, I know these people are actors and
this is not their lives, but to me, that's the
(10:38):
lives of this characters. Of course, we're gonna talk about
this in a minute too, but just about the fact
that they that these characters are gone makes the show
even sadder to me. And I know it's eventually going
to end, like you can feel it ending, like they
need to end because you don't want it to get
bad either. But at the same time, like there's this
morning and lost to it that I cannot stand, like
(10:59):
it it makes he feel empty. I'm not gonna lie supernatural, which,
by the way, some person was like, if you watch
this show, I don't trust you. I was like, there's
a lot of this problematic. There's so many things that
I'm ready to go down the rabbit hole. And I
have this conversation because I know the Dean Sam debate
is out there, and I still have like a fundamental,
like harsh list because I'm like, I get why Dean
(11:21):
is the favorite. We're not talking specifically about them, I
promise um. But at the same I'm like, he is
really problematic, Like he's abusive in every form of the way.
Like I get he's redeemable according to the fans, and
I love Dean. Don't don't come at me when people
gonna yell at me, But at the same time, he's
truly abusive the amount of punches, And I get it,
(11:41):
it's supposed to be him showing emotion, But why are
we okay when then showing violence and emotions like type
of thing. There's a lot of conversations we can have
on this too. Uh. But all of that to say,
like when these characters to me like go away or
when something abruptly is it makes me very very very
sad like to the point. And it may be because
(12:01):
I didn't love the way at the end of Hey,
I know, I'm not gonna argue about that. There's been
a lot of like feelings of the ending of shows
like Supernatural which have went out for like what fourteen years,
fifteen years, which is an obscenely long time that's not
a soap opera. Like the fact that they continued with
(12:22):
their main characters that long it's pretty significant, um, but
the fact that it went on that long, and for me,
the ending was so sad and I was like, I
can never watch, so I won't watch the last like
three episodes. I just keep starting it over again, like
that's who I was. I need to go back to
the nostalgia. Even though there's some very problematic episodes in
(12:45):
that series as well, there's so many problematic things that
I still enjoy. For my zoning out, which is a
whole different conversation but for me, it is that needing
to have that comfort of controlling what I can and
don't want to see. So if I don't want to
see a plotline, I fast forward, and because I know
it well enough, I know how long to fast forward.
(13:06):
Like it's kind of like one of those moments. Um
there and again, if I've said it so often, I
will re watch things just because I haven't seen it
in so long that I'm like, I have to watch
this because I forgot what this was. But also to that,
the article talks about the fact of the love of
the characters, and I thought it was interesting folks, as
people who struggle with expressing themselves often tend to take
(13:29):
on characteristics from the characters they love. Uh. These small
mechanisms can help you express emotions that have previously been
difficult to express. So I was like, hm, hmmm, I'm
pretty good about expressing myself. But at the same time,
this is the drama, the layer that's already been written
in a dialogue. I'm like, maybe I could say that
instead and taking on that persona I know for the
(13:52):
longest time, and she's full real, for real problematic. Um.
I did think I was a little a little like
Liz Lemon in Dirty Rock because at the very least,
like she was single, she was always running into issues
she had. She was a mess, and she was sarcastic,
and it wasn't about being cute. Looking back on it, like,
oh no, she was really anti women, even though she
(14:14):
was supposed to be feminist in her in her you know,
and she's an actual terrible person if you met her
in real life, like the overbearing boss who would never
give way, like give vacations anyway, whatever. But like I did,
I used her as someone was like, oh, look, she's
a leading girl to leading lady, and I could be
like her as well. Yeah. Yeah, And that's the conversation
(14:37):
We've had a lot um on this show, and it's
specifically with me with Trauma about why like I write
fan fiction and why I get upset when people don't
like our outright or mean about characters. Said, I like,
it's because it feels like you're attacking me at that point, um,
and because there's a reason I connect to them, and
if you are attacking that, it feels like you're jacking me,
(15:00):
which is not necessarity case. I know that, but it
does feel that way because I identify with these characters
so much, and for me, it's very helpful to express
our work through things because, as I've said before, I
think it's a self esteem thing almost where if I
love Leiah or Luke and they go through something that
(15:23):
I can relate to, and they go through it in
are you know able to continue their lives as a
functioning adults, then I can do it too like I can.
And it doesn't I don't look down on them for
going through this thing, whereas I might for myself. Um,
and that's you know, verging into more fan fiction and territory,
but it is something where I can just sit and
(15:47):
imagine about how they would interact in a certain situation
and it makes me feel better. I can write fan
fiction about them in a certain situation that's really about
about me, and it makes me feel better. It's just
those connections you form with something or someone that feels
so comforting. Yeah. The Atlantic has an article about it
(16:21):
as well, and they wrote watching something again and again
seems like it would make entertainment loses an initial pill.
But psychologists have found that reputation, reads affection, familiar fair
requires less mental energy to process, and when that when
something is easy to think about, we tend to consider
it good. So the idea that repetition makes it easier
(16:41):
for us to process and think about. And then also
it becomes something that's a part of us. It brings
in an affection to it, and I think that's perfect.
Apparently there is a scientific term for this, and it's
mere exposure effect. So that's a that's a whole of
the conversation in itself. But yeah, you grow to love
these characters, you grow to like have some ownership of
as characters, which we've talked about in our episodes about fandoms. Um,
(17:04):
I feel the same way. So initially I was going
to talk about Once Was Upon a Time, which is
that whole drama series based on fairy tales, and how
much I just really loved it, Like it becomes enough
of drama, but then also all the family appeal that
it's kind of like oh, and then all the fantasy
appeal that I'm like, all, there we go, and then
so many of the women come rising up being their
(17:24):
own heroes type of thing. You're like, yeah, yeah, very cheesy.
I love it. Um, I still love it to this
day and I still rewatch it. But it also talks
about just being able to heal, and just being able
to be angry, and just being able to grow, like
all of these things, and that's why I love fantasy
series to that level. I have used to love really
(17:46):
dark and dystopian type of series movies. I can't do
that as much anymore. I don't know. Maybe I'm just tired.
Maybe it's just like tired of crying. Who knows, but like,
those are the shows and movies that I find a
peece link for me. But at the same time, those
are the things that I find comforting. That is my hug,
that is my blanket, that is my cup of tea,
(18:08):
which we've done comfort series and some people like yourself
and as we know, our friend Marissa like sad movies
and I still don't at that. But that's okay. I
know sometimes you just need a good cry. Yeah yeah,
But I thought it was something to look down and
I did want to see if this was more of
like a gender thing. I couldn't find any articles, So
(18:30):
if someone out there has some knowledge of that, please
let us know, because I feel like, again, maybe it's
just been people around me. Most of the dudes in
my life. I can't understand why I do this, and
most of the women in my life or who link
linked them know why I do this and empathize with
(18:51):
me in such a great capacity that it feels gendered.
I don't know. I have a similar experience, and there's
some in some ways I think makes sense because we've
talked before about how, at least when we did that episode,
women prefer horror movies compared to men, and that's one
of the theories is because women have a lot more
constant anxieties and fears as compared to men. So it
(19:12):
could be something like that. It could be that it
expresses itself differently. I know this is probably a stretch.
I'd have to look into it. One of the reasons
I like to rewatch things over and over is because
I feel like I have to be doing something, like
I have to multitask. I have to multitesk even if
(19:33):
I don't want a multitask. So if I just want
to read fan fiction or work on D and D,
that's not enough. So I put on Star Wars because
then I'm watching Star Wars, but I'm also doing this,
like I have to have that, and I know women
are are at least again this is old, older episode,
but we did one, and women are more likely to
multitask because they feel too guilty about just doing the
one thing. And then for me, there's definitely like I mean,
(19:56):
you've seen it. I feel like a dopamine hit when
I'm like watch these things, like but here's the music,
here's it's far, here is this, and it's just like
it's I wonder if there's any studies on I bet
there is, because there was a lot of looking into
nostalgia and the effective nostalgia for a while. So I'm
just curious about that. And also I would like to
(20:16):
find statistics about what are the things people rewatch the
most right, Um, you know what they do talk about
the fact that the nostalgia is a reason for people
to binge watch. This Atlantic article talks about it is
saying that it's nice to remember the past merely because
it's the past. Uh, And and they talk about it
(20:36):
a little deeper, but I think it's for like they
talk about several reasons familiarity, nostalgia, just remembering the good
old days. And I'm maybe like one of those people.
That's why I loved musical so much, not because I
remember those days, but I want to know what those
days were like, and it seems so golden and amazing
at the same time, like I am Asian that in
my world, but in my mind it's so glamorous and
(20:59):
beautiful and you know, all of the spectrovision type of
level of colors, that cinematic level, that's what I would
think of. But then again we kind of know that
that's the the s guided reality of like Hollywood makes
it what it wants to be, right, but nostalgia but
at the same time, like watching movies about the eighties,
(21:19):
watching things about friendship, it still gets to me. Um
so now and Then was one of my favorite movies
because it kind of it was supposed to be like
I think, post Vietnam War, but there's still some nostalgia
to that being with your friends and doing all these
like things and like rituals and having these secrets and
knowing that you had one or two of you were
(21:40):
the best friend of my group. Like it was so
reminiscent to so many things, it still is nostalgic to me. Yeah, yeah,
I think I think they're the comfort of knowing how
something ends, the comfort of like being able to just
immerse yourself in the kind of the safety aspect of Okay,
I got this, and I think also it manifests in
(22:01):
different ways because I totally get why the office was
a big one when we were told you can't go
to the office anymore. Like. But for me, it's like, oh,
it's in space and this other like I don't have
to deal that's not reality. And I know they're gonna
be happy. That's why I like the end of Return
of the the Jedi. It seems like everything's gonna be happy,
and then you throw everything else in there and it's not.
So I like to Preston, it's just in coloset space.
But I I tell it makes sense. It makes perfect
(22:24):
sense to me, and it makes perfect sense like the
way you do it versus the way I do it.
It's it's really interesting and I'm glad you prop this
because sometimes I also feel embarrassed. But it's just forty something.
The old woman was like, I still we watch these
same shows. I love it, you know, do what we
(22:46):
can to get by and to feel comforted and happy,
happy thing, comfortable thing self care. Yes, yes, indeed. Well,
cheers to use Antha, cheers and cheers to you listeners,
If you have anything you like to rewatch, anything, any
(23:07):
thoughts around this, please let us know. You can email
us at stuff and your mom Stuff at I Hurt
mea dot com. You can find us on Twitter at
mom Stuff podcast or Instagram and stuff I Never Told You. Thanks.
It's always to our super producer, Christina Cheers, Christina Cheers,
and thanks to you for listening. Stuff I Never Told
You is a production of I Heart Radio from more podcast.
In My Heart Radio, you can visit me at her
radio app Apple Podcast, where you listen to your favorite
(23:28):
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