October 12, 2020 • 13 mins
In the wake of the death of several prominent public figures, Anney and Samantha talk about grieving in politics.
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff
I never told you production of I Heart Radio. I
actually do have a question today. Yes, no, yes, So
we are coming around elections and I just need to know.
(00:26):
Are you actually watching any of these debates? No Ah, No,
I am not watching them. I will watch highlights the
next day and I'll read kind of the main points
are what they are. But I feel like and more
power to to my friends who have been watching them
(00:46):
and tell me I'm miserable it's been. Uh. I feel like,
I that's more misery than it's worth. Like I can
get the point I already know. I feel like most
of us already know what you're going to get out
of that debate. I mean, and it was worse than
I even imagined. The first one was, well, did you
did you imagine the Fly? I did not imagine fly?
(01:09):
And like last night on Twitter, I saw like fly
the Fly was trending and I thought it was the
movie and I was like, oh, are they remaking that too?
And then no, there's a fly on Mike Penson's head
for two minutes. And it's called fly gate, because of
course does not stop everything is a gate of swords. Yeah,
I'm with you. I don't watch many of the debates.
It makes me physically noxious sometimes just hearing voices of
(01:31):
specific people. But I've definitely been watching when people playing
the drinking game, you have you participate in any of
those um and not for this or the previous election cycle,
but with Obama, I think I would State of the Union.
I would play the State of the Union drinking games,
and that gets you pretty quick. I like so my
co host over on SAB has a really good drinking
(01:53):
game rule where you alternate drink responsibly everybody, or you
alternate between an alcoholic drink and water, and I think
that's a good way to make sure you don't get
absolutely hammered. Right. There's definitely all the cards and the
bingo games, and it's all been very interesting. But today
we are talking a little bit more about politics for
our Monday Mini So bear with us because on Friday
(02:15):
September eight, Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away, and and honestly,
the pain in the morning that I felt that night
and the next day was super surprising, even to me,
even though I knew it would be a big deal.
And everybody's kind of been holding their breathes. Um. But
beyond just the implication of her death, the overall loss
of her voice was significant to me. I don't know
how you felt. I know I texted you that now.
(02:36):
I was like, yeah, I just went And I think
that was the favorite word of the entire Twitter. It
was just that one word, because it was really really
just for the lack of better terms, not only the
timing of it, but just the overall heaviness and losing
someone who so many people looked up to. Yeah, oh
and um and please note, we know she's not perfect,
(02:58):
and we said this previously. We said this before. I
definitely disagreed with some of our decisions and our censures
as a frecent um, but she made a difference, and
she fought for women's rights and equality, um. And she
did fight for lgbt Q rights. And saying her passing
is a loss too many doesn't negate things that she
has done that that we don't agree with. I don't
(03:19):
agree with any Look, I don't think there's anybody that
I've ever agreed with, um Um. But please give people
the right to be able to fill loss in pain,
and we'll also give right to people who feel angry
that they are that way, But to diminish someone's hurt
or someone's loss is enabling this whole idea of the
lack of comfession and empathy for others. And and we
(03:40):
don't want to become that nation, and we're slowly becoming
that nation, not because we want to, but because of
the current leadership. And I don't I would hate for
that to be an overall resolve for people who we
have a lot of commonalities with. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah,
I'm a big believer. I know, I've talked about it before.
I'm a big believer that you should be aware of
people's faults and what they were good at two and
(04:01):
remembering the whole round person. But that doesn't mean it
won't hurt. And then on top of that, she did
represent she was a symbol almost um and the loss
of that coupled with all of this uncertainty right now,
(04:21):
and especially for marginalized groups and for women who did
look up to her and did see her as iconic,
and then for her to die it was sad on
a personal level, but also just on a national level,
and also just on a women's rights level. And what
does this mean? Going forward because it's generations going to
(04:44):
be shaped by this. So it was very heavy. It
was very very heavy. Um. Yeah, And it's not just
her death. The death of Senator John Lewis this year,
and then Elijah Commings last year and John McCain's death
of the year before. There's been a lot of loss
that affected the polar a cold climate. Um, we lost
you know, I definitely did not agree with John McCain,
(05:05):
but he was one of the more middle ground voices
that we needed and that helped her through his beliefs
and not just following into party lines. And um, losing
him was significant for for all and what he did
for the country, um, not necessarily his policies, but just
in general as in the military, and however you want
(05:25):
to look at that, and there's a whole different conversation
we could have about what does the military do and
is it truly protection or is it bullying? You know,
that could be a conversation in itself. Um, but he
served for the betterment at that point in time. And uh,
and uh, you know, he was a pow and that's
important as well that we talked about the trauma that
(05:46):
he endured and came back and still with an attitude
of serving. And we know that his wife, Um has
recently come out in support of Biden because she stood
on the same ground that he did with his opinions
about what was happening in the political climate. And for
us in Atlanta, John Lewis's death was so significant as
he represented a portion of the metro Atlanta area and
(06:08):
fall for civil rights and voters rights of the country,
and his life and death left a huge mark, uh
specifically for us down here in the South and everywhere
of course, but shoot, he he has fought and fought
and fought for the betterment of our city, for our
state as well in representing our knees on the federal level.
And his funeral and his memorial service was watched from
(06:30):
afar even on TV to celebrate his life and his works,
and I think that's significant to who he was as well.
And we wanted to talk about what it looks like
to grieve people we don't know but our political um,
I guess, in this political climate for those involved in politics,
and how to do it in a way that doesn't
(06:51):
idolize someone or like this is not Canadon. We're not
saying that they should canonize in anything, but they did
do stuff that is significant that has impacted us on
a personal level, whether we want to admit or not admit,
because these laws and policies affect us UM, and I
think it's also significant that we're talking about not necessarily
(07:12):
with Elijah coming obviously in John McCain, but during the
pandemic and trying to feel loss and grief. And we've
talked about that on the personal level that and it's
coming into more and more conversation, especially as of recent
with all the White House outbreak. The inability to mourn
(07:32):
and grieve and be with our families when we lose someone,
when when they die, and why that is such an
significant impact on the trauma that's going to cause our
nation and what this looks like. And honestly, one of
the biggest setbacks with that is UM having to watch
all of these other dusts and watching this again in
(07:55):
a way that feels so removed and as in fact,
Shington Post article highlighted how funerals like RBGS and John
Lewis was a time not only to mourn for them,
but oftentimes for the people who we may have lost personally.
I don't know. How do you feel about that any
because I know that this may because I have not
lost anyone that I know of to COVID as of yet, UM,
(08:19):
and I feel fortunate in that. And I know some
of us, a lot of our listeners have already experienced
this and I cannot imagine that pain. And I know
you've experienced this as well with your aunt. UM. Do
you feel like this article was kind of one point
in that, Yes, a lot of the people that have
been able to say, yes, we went to this gathering
not necessarily for these people, but for our own losses. Yeah,
(08:44):
I think, Um, there is a catharsis in sharing grief
with people who cared about the person that you've lost.
And when my aunt died, I could not go to
the funeral um, and it was small, and there was
just this feeling of like did it really happen? Like
(09:09):
I kept thinking like maybe I don't know, maybe some
strange dream and if she is alive, and um, almost
feeling unable to mourn her. Like sometimes it would just
hit me like, oh, yeah, I guess I guess she's gone.
And then I can totally see like if we are
experiencing that all around the world, and then we have
(09:29):
these people that we didn't know but we did see
on TV and we knew what they were doing, and
we respected them and felt like we knew them. And
you are able to grieve with other people, and through
that you can let yourself grieve for maybe the people
that you hadn't been able to in your own life
(09:52):
up until that point. I think it's interesting too, because
they talk about me putting it frankly, this has been
a polity year for many and for those of us
in the country, and not just in this country, in
the world, as more and more things have happened, whether
people are still dealing with fires in California and the
unfortunate aspects of being removed from their home, displaces from
(10:12):
them home during the time of COVID, people are being
kicked out of their homes because they cannot afford rent,
and obviously we don't have any assistance to be able
to live. People have lost jobs, economies quickly taking at
this point in time. And it's not only are we
be mourning these losses of people were mourning a way
of life or mourning what we thought was democracy at
(10:33):
one point in time. Of course, again that's a bigger
conversation of why does the electoral college not work and
what is it holding up specifically, and why we need
to take another look at what is happening how we
do our own government and how we vote and what's
counted all of those things that, you know, Between that
and trying to fight to have DC to be a
statehood as they should be, Between looking at Puerto Rico
as an actual statehood as well and as part of
(10:56):
equal voice in voting as well, and all of these things,
there's big conversation, and there's a feeling of loss, a
feeling of failure because we feel like we're going backwards.
I don't know, maybe that's just me, especially in our
lifetime when we thought we had made so much headway
that we're slowly digressing and it's it's seeming like we're
losing ourselves in that and having to deal with that,
(11:16):
and and failure in itself can be a loss um
and as in fact and the article of person stays,
I'm not just mourning her being RBG, A mourning our
country and what's becoming of us. And that's kind of
that whole sentiment to me, Like I also see good
of course, and I'm really trying to cling to that hopefulness,
you know. I think that's the biggest part that we
wanted to say when when the death of RBG happened.
(11:40):
The things that we posted were specific to continuing a
fight and continuing to hope, and that's what we wanted
to push forward. But it's sometimes really hard, and in
that fight, we have to also allow ourselves to mourn
and allow us to sit and loss and unders trying
to figure out our own feelings because we can't hide
it and we can't push it back because it's inevitable.
(12:01):
It's happening. It's happening. This is reality, even though it
doesn't feel like it's. Sometimes, God, there are days side
away in my switch now, Yes, Samantha has acquired an
Intendo switch. Yes, and now I'm just hideaway in Luigi's
mansion with take ghosts sort of thing. Um. But yeah,
(12:25):
I just wanted to kind of have a moment to
have And this is a little dated, I guess now
it's been almost a month, but we we are in
that conversation. We are having those conversations and we are
thinking about the loss of things that have happened this year.
Pushing through to work out these feelings for ourselves, and
I don't know, I hope you all are as well,
because it's important that we have pushed through and and
(12:48):
sit and understand it and acknowledge it and then move
on because you have to, so remember greedy if you
need to and allow others to do the same. Yes. Yes,
And we are here for you in the podcast world,
and you can contact us. We would love to hear
from you. Um Our email is Stuff Media, mom Stuff
(13:10):
at i heeart media dot com. You can also find
us on Instagram and Stuff I've Never Told You or
on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as always to
our super producers J J. Pozway and Andrew Howard. Thanks guys,
and thanks to you for listening Stuff I Never Told
You to protection of I Heart Radio for more podcast
from my Heart Radio, buss, I Hear Radio, app, Apple Podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff
I never told you production of I Heart Radio. I
actually do have a question today. Yes, no, yes, So
we are coming around elections and I just need to know.
(00:26):
Are you actually watching any of these debates? No Ah, No,
I am not watching them. I will watch highlights the
next day and I'll read kind of the main points
are what they are. But I feel like and more
power to to my friends who have been watching them
(00:46):
and tell me I'm miserable it's been. Uh. I feel like,
I that's more misery than it's worth. Like I can
get the point I already know. I feel like most
of us already know what you're going to get out
of that debate. I mean, and it was worse than
I even imagined. The first one was, well, did you
did you imagine the Fly? I did not imagine fly?
(01:09):
And like last night on Twitter, I saw like fly
the Fly was trending and I thought it was the
movie and I was like, oh, are they remaking that too?
And then no, there's a fly on Mike Penson's head
for two minutes. And it's called fly gate, because of
course does not stop everything is a gate of swords. Yeah,
I'm with you. I don't watch many of the debates.
It makes me physically noxious sometimes just hearing voices of
(01:31):
specific people. But I've definitely been watching when people playing
the drinking game, you have you participate in any of
those um and not for this or the previous election cycle,
but with Obama, I think I would State of the Union.
I would play the State of the Union drinking games,
and that gets you pretty quick. I like so my
co host over on SAB has a really good drinking
(01:53):
game rule where you alternate drink responsibly everybody, or you
alternate between an alcoholic drink and water, and I think
that's a good way to make sure you don't get
absolutely hammered. Right. There's definitely all the cards and the
bingo games, and it's all been very interesting. But today
we are talking a little bit more about politics for
our Monday Mini So bear with us because on Friday
(02:15):
September eight, Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away, and and honestly,
the pain in the morning that I felt that night
and the next day was super surprising, even to me,
even though I knew it would be a big deal.
And everybody's kind of been holding their breathes. Um. But
beyond just the implication of her death, the overall loss
of her voice was significant to me. I don't know
how you felt. I know I texted you that now.
(02:36):
I was like, yeah, I just went And I think
that was the favorite word of the entire Twitter. It
was just that one word, because it was really really
just for the lack of better terms, not only the
timing of it, but just the overall heaviness and losing
someone who so many people looked up to. Yeah, oh
and um and please note, we know she's not perfect,
(02:58):
and we said this previously. We said this before. I
definitely disagreed with some of our decisions and our censures
as a frecent um, but she made a difference, and
she fought for women's rights and equality, um. And she
did fight for lgbt Q rights. And saying her passing
is a loss too many doesn't negate things that she
has done that that we don't agree with. I don't
(03:19):
agree with any Look, I don't think there's anybody that
I've ever agreed with, um Um. But please give people
the right to be able to fill loss in pain,
and we'll also give right to people who feel angry
that they are that way, But to diminish someone's hurt
or someone's loss is enabling this whole idea of the
lack of comfession and empathy for others. And and we
(03:40):
don't want to become that nation, and we're slowly becoming
that nation, not because we want to, but because of
the current leadership. And I don't I would hate for
that to be an overall resolve for people who we
have a lot of commonalities with. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah,
I'm a big believer. I know, I've talked about it before.
I'm a big believer that you should be aware of
people's faults and what they were good at two and
(04:01):
remembering the whole round person. But that doesn't mean it
won't hurt. And then on top of that, she did
represent she was a symbol almost um and the loss
of that coupled with all of this uncertainty right now,
(04:21):
and especially for marginalized groups and for women who did
look up to her and did see her as iconic,
and then for her to die it was sad on
a personal level, but also just on a national level,
and also just on a women's rights level. And what
does this mean? Going forward because it's generations going to
(04:44):
be shaped by this. So it was very heavy. It
was very very heavy. Um. Yeah, And it's not just
her death. The death of Senator John Lewis this year,
and then Elijah Commings last year and John McCain's death
of the year before. There's been a lot of loss
that affected the polar a cold climate. Um, we lost
you know, I definitely did not agree with John McCain,
(05:05):
but he was one of the more middle ground voices
that we needed and that helped her through his beliefs
and not just following into party lines. And um, losing
him was significant for for all and what he did
for the country, um, not necessarily his policies, but just
in general as in the military, and however you want
(05:25):
to look at that, and there's a whole different conversation
we could have about what does the military do and
is it truly protection or is it bullying? You know,
that could be a conversation in itself. Um, but he
served for the betterment at that point in time. And uh,
and uh, you know, he was a pow and that's
important as well that we talked about the trauma that
(05:46):
he endured and came back and still with an attitude
of serving. And we know that his wife, Um has
recently come out in support of Biden because she stood
on the same ground that he did with his opinions
about what was happening in the political climate. And for
us in Atlanta, John Lewis's death was so significant as
he represented a portion of the metro Atlanta area and
(06:08):
fall for civil rights and voters rights of the country,
and his life and death left a huge mark, uh
specifically for us down here in the South and everywhere
of course, but shoot, he he has fought and fought
and fought for the betterment of our city, for our
state as well in representing our knees on the federal level.
And his funeral and his memorial service was watched from
(06:30):
afar even on TV to celebrate his life and his works,
and I think that's significant to who he was as well.
And we wanted to talk about what it looks like
to grieve people we don't know but our political um,
I guess, in this political climate for those involved in politics,
and how to do it in a way that doesn't
(06:51):
idolize someone or like this is not Canadon. We're not
saying that they should canonize in anything, but they did
do stuff that is significant that has impacted us on
a personal level, whether we want to admit or not admit,
because these laws and policies affect us UM, and I
think it's also significant that we're talking about not necessarily
(07:12):
with Elijah coming obviously in John McCain, but during the
pandemic and trying to feel loss and grief. And we've
talked about that on the personal level that and it's
coming into more and more conversation, especially as of recent
with all the White House outbreak. The inability to mourn
(07:32):
and grieve and be with our families when we lose someone,
when when they die, and why that is such an
significant impact on the trauma that's going to cause our
nation and what this looks like. And honestly, one of
the biggest setbacks with that is UM having to watch
all of these other dusts and watching this again in
(07:55):
a way that feels so removed and as in fact,
Shington Post article highlighted how funerals like RBGS and John
Lewis was a time not only to mourn for them,
but oftentimes for the people who we may have lost personally.
I don't know. How do you feel about that any
because I know that this may because I have not
lost anyone that I know of to COVID as of yet, UM,
(08:19):
and I feel fortunate in that. And I know some
of us, a lot of our listeners have already experienced
this and I cannot imagine that pain. And I know
you've experienced this as well with your aunt. UM. Do
you feel like this article was kind of one point
in that, Yes, a lot of the people that have
been able to say, yes, we went to this gathering
not necessarily for these people, but for our own losses. Yeah,
(08:44):
I think, Um, there is a catharsis in sharing grief
with people who cared about the person that you've lost.
And when my aunt died, I could not go to
the funeral um, and it was small, and there was
just this feeling of like did it really happen? Like
(09:09):
I kept thinking like maybe I don't know, maybe some
strange dream and if she is alive, and um, almost
feeling unable to mourn her. Like sometimes it would just
hit me like, oh, yeah, I guess I guess she's gone.
And then I can totally see like if we are
experiencing that all around the world, and then we have
(09:29):
these people that we didn't know but we did see
on TV and we knew what they were doing, and
we respected them and felt like we knew them. And
you are able to grieve with other people, and through
that you can let yourself grieve for maybe the people
that you hadn't been able to in your own life
(09:52):
up until that point. I think it's interesting too, because
they talk about me putting it frankly, this has been
a polity year for many and for those of us
in the country, and not just in this country, in
the world, as more and more things have happened, whether
people are still dealing with fires in California and the
unfortunate aspects of being removed from their home, displaces from
(10:12):
them home during the time of COVID, people are being
kicked out of their homes because they cannot afford rent,
and obviously we don't have any assistance to be able
to live. People have lost jobs, economies quickly taking at
this point in time. And it's not only are we
be mourning these losses of people were mourning a way
of life or mourning what we thought was democracy at
(10:33):
one point in time. Of course, again that's a bigger
conversation of why does the electoral college not work and
what is it holding up specifically, and why we need
to take another look at what is happening how we
do our own government and how we vote and what's
counted all of those things that, you know, Between that
and trying to fight to have DC to be a
statehood as they should be, Between looking at Puerto Rico
as an actual statehood as well and as part of
(10:56):
equal voice in voting as well, and all of these things,
there's big conversation, and there's a feeling of loss, a
feeling of failure because we feel like we're going backwards.
I don't know, maybe that's just me, especially in our
lifetime when we thought we had made so much headway
that we're slowly digressing and it's it's seeming like we're
losing ourselves in that and having to deal with that,
(11:16):
and and failure in itself can be a loss um
and as in fact and the article of person stays,
I'm not just mourning her being RBG, A mourning our
country and what's becoming of us. And that's kind of
that whole sentiment to me, Like I also see good
of course, and I'm really trying to cling to that hopefulness,
you know. I think that's the biggest part that we
wanted to say when when the death of RBG happened.
(11:40):
The things that we posted were specific to continuing a
fight and continuing to hope, and that's what we wanted
to push forward. But it's sometimes really hard, and in
that fight, we have to also allow ourselves to mourn
and allow us to sit and loss and unders trying
to figure out our own feelings because we can't hide
it and we can't push it back because it's inevitable.
(12:01):
It's happening. It's happening. This is reality, even though it
doesn't feel like it's. Sometimes, God, there are days side
away in my switch now, Yes, Samantha has acquired an
Intendo switch. Yes, and now I'm just hideaway in Luigi's
mansion with take ghosts sort of thing. Um. But yeah,
(12:25):
I just wanted to kind of have a moment to
have And this is a little dated, I guess now
it's been almost a month, but we we are in
that conversation. We are having those conversations and we are
thinking about the loss of things that have happened this year.
Pushing through to work out these feelings for ourselves, and
I don't know, I hope you all are as well,
because it's important that we have pushed through and and
(12:48):
sit and understand it and acknowledge it and then move
on because you have to, so remember greedy if you
need to and allow others to do the same. Yes. Yes,
And we are here for you in the podcast world,
and you can contact us. We would love to hear
from you. Um Our email is Stuff Media, mom Stuff
(13:10):
at i heeart media dot com. You can also find
us on Instagram and Stuff I've Never Told You or
on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as always to
our super producers J J. Pozway and Andrew Howard. Thanks guys,
and thanks to you for listening Stuff I Never Told
You to protection of I Heart Radio for more podcast
from my Heart Radio, buss, I Hear Radio, app, Apple Podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Stuff Mom Never Told You News
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Samantha McVey
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