July 25, 2022 • 19 mins
While it can be very tempting to lob insults at people who are objectively awful, it's important we make sure they aren't hurting others in the process. Anney and Samantha discuss some examples.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff
I've never told your protection of I heart radio. So
I'm going to be real honest with you listeners. And Samantha,
I have been putting this one off for a long time.
(00:26):
I've wanted to talk about it for a long time,
but I'm nervous to talk about it. I think we
should talk about it, though, because it's about problematic insults.
But one of the reasons I really don't want to
talk about it, but I feel like we've got to
talk about it is because Trump and I hate that
guy and I hate talking about him. And it's like
I lied awake at night thinking about this and just
(00:46):
thinking like, oh no, oh, I don't want to do it,
but we're gonna do it, okay. And I just want
to know, like if it's not obvious, please No, I'm
not ever defending him ever, never know. But I just
think that a lot of the insults I see used
against him, while maybe very very satisfying, are extremely problematic. Yeah,
(01:09):
so we're just gonna talk about that for a minute.
Also another note, I understand there's a history of racist, homophobic,
abilists and sex sistlers and insults that are horrifically problematic.
That's not what we're really talking about, UM, because I
feel like that stuff is people do it because they're terrible,
But it's more like we all a lot of us
are like, that's terrible, don't do it. I'm talking about
(01:30):
more of the mainstream popular stuff we see, like from comedians,
talked to hosts, like everybody, um about about this is
just the most high profile thing I could think of. Um.
I just wanted to talk about it because I think
(01:51):
a lot of us to hate this guy, and for
very good reason. But the way that people are using,
the insults they're using around him are damaging other people. Right,
there's a social responsibility as someone who can have commentary
about not liking or disliking any specific things, policies, politics,
(02:14):
all of that, attitudes actions that we really don't have
to do where we're damaging other people who also dislike
this person. Like that's a thing and we should be
very cognizant of that in general. Yeah. Yeah, And so
one of the big ones I've seen our physical insults UM,
in particular fat phobia. And again, I know it's it's
(02:36):
hard because it bothers him and you want to bother him.
But the messages that being fat or overweight is bad
and that's not a good message, and a lot of
people are taking that in and hearing people laugh about it,
hearing it used in this way where it's an insult
and picking that upright and seeing that, yeah, we're laughing
(02:58):
about it. So that's not good. This is so like,
because I agree it's not good, but I just hate
this guy so much. It's so like, oh, but it
shouldn't be like that shouldn't be an insult. And in general,
I get physical insults make me uncomfortable. Yeah, and we've
(03:21):
talked about I mean, it is definitely also a double
standard when because this gets used against women all the time,
physical insults all like, that's probably people's go to. I
just think because this is a public figure that people
hate so much, they're sort of forgetting that it doesn't
stop just because you hate that person. That's still harmful narrative. Yeah,
(03:47):
and you know, I think the problem with this is,
as you were saying, this is something that gets under
his skin. So therefore people really want to use a
personal blow because we know at least it's going to
bother him as well. As the fact that oftentimes your reaction,
especially because people like him with his UH tactics in general,
(04:09):
go for the low blow, and so we meet him
there as well. And I've talked about it before with
like TikTok stars who use this tactic too, and I'm like, yeah, finally,
for me, it's both of those things, like, finally you're
going after them for what they're doing. You're meeting them
to their standards. But it shouldn't have to be that way.
There's a lot of conversation back and forth because I
(04:30):
have an internal conflict with that as well, because I'm like,
I'm not skinny, and I've definitely been called chunky like
in many ways, and it hurts my feelings a whole lot,
like for the longest time, because I saw that narrative
as so like a negative that I it would hurt
my feelings. Even now, I'm very self conscious of it,
even though I've become more aware of myself and more
confident in myself, and I'm like, you know what, I
don't love this necessarily because I've been taught I shouldn't
(04:53):
love this. But at the same time, I have to
weigh that to the fact that I'm actually happy and healthy,
Like I've gone to the doctor and I'm still mine.
So I'm like, so what is this? But having to
change their mindset and altogether it is also this whole
conversation we're having and that this is not the row
we should be going. But it's easy when to take,
especially when they're the ones that seem to be doing
(05:14):
it first, and you really want to go after it,
you really do, and it's easy to do. But also
I think most people are smaller enough to see that
the truth in itself, it's sort of an insult, Like
there's factual things that we can insult, like not not
necessarily about body and image and of that, just like
the things that he has said, the things that he
is doing, the things that we are like what what
(05:35):
is it wrong with you? His own like past history. Yeah, definitely,
there's plenty two truths from there. Um. But I am
glad you brought that up because there has been a
reclaiming of of words like fats um and so I
think that's important to mention too. But it is I
(05:56):
feel like a lot of people using it are not
using it in that way. They're using it because they
think it is an insult, and it is bad, right,
It's definitely uses. Its weaponized for sure, and it's according
to who was coming from. Again, I don't think there's
a lot of people who are going to tell you
that they're fine with that word fat or overweight or
(06:17):
obese or any of those things. But in the end,
it's not really ours to claim when we're talking about
other people. That makes sense, Yes, yes, yes, absolutely, and
there are another double standard. I want to talk about this,
and this is actually what inspired this. I'm just gonna
show you how long I put off this episode when
we were talking about strategic incompetence, but even before that,
(06:39):
when we were talking about um kind of the stereotypical
sitcom hetero relationship of a fat man with a thin
woman and how that sends a message as well in
terms of like one of these is more acceptable less
sad um. So like, yeah, basically the message there is
(07:02):
a fat woman is sadder than a fat man, right,
and more acceptable. Fat man is more acceptable than fat woman.
So that's also something we have to think about when
we're using these and who it's impacting, these insults, who
it's impacting, and that makes me really angry, just to
type it and just say it UM. But that is
I mean, that's what we talked about. You never it's
(07:23):
almost always that dynamic. I mean, that's even taught in
specific cultures, Christian culture. I've talked about it before with
the famous author Elizabeth Elliott, who was a big Christian
author who was talking about purity essentially um and has
a like she has sold millions and millions of millions
of dollars worth of UH copies. I think she's gone now,
(07:46):
but that was one of our things, was like, if
you want to keep your man happy, you should be
thin um. And if you're not doing that, you are
not fulfilling your wifely duties. Like this level of standard
that really pushed into Christian women, that there was a
perfection level and your weight in your body and your
sexualfe all the things that are so pushed against us
(08:07):
to the detriment of women's self esteem and worth, Like
their worth is based on if they can please their husband,
and these are the things that pleases the husband. But
there's no narrative for the man except should be a leader,
which is a misogynistic ideal in any way. It brings
a lot of violence out but that's that conversation, is
that this level that is like ingrained into so many
(08:30):
women who really feel like this is their godly slash
just duty in general. Right. Yeah, that's something we've talked
about a lot about how religion, and particularly Christian religion
here and morality got all tied up with wait for women, um,
and we still see that um. Something else I wanted
to mention is able is um, which again, like I
(08:53):
never want to make it sound wise, we're talking about
this as a feminist podcast, we get a lot of
terrible insults and a lot of problem insults, Like that's
part of the problem is that like Trump is ablest.
He's shown it, said it, done it, and beyond and
(09:14):
beyond like terrible and he is a terrible person. But
I've seen people use ablest language to insult the right. Right,
is really insulting to those people who are in the
disabled community who have done so much good, uh and
(09:34):
have continued to do so good. And yeah, again it's
just that negative, really harmful, and we mean harmful as
in causing violence against these communities. We are being literal
when we say harmful, not just metaphorically. Oh it hard,
the feelings, no, it is getting key people killed. And
this ablest trope is absolutely it was as well as
(09:56):
everything else. But I feel like, yeah, it kind brought
on this whole like shining light because he was, for
better or for words, like very open about his able ism,
very open about his racism, very open about his classism
and sexism, like this is not hiding it one bit,
(10:16):
and it was. It brings harm, physical violent harm onto
these communities and we have to be aware of that.
And the able ism was one of the biggest up
there because he used it for all the things, Like
he used that language in so many ways. He used
that language to actually go after a disabled a journalist.
He uses a language in general when he just didn't
(10:38):
like someone caused his constituents that way, like talking about
their intelligence, and then he went after his own coworkers,
other politicians, those who are supposed to be on his side,
like he went after them and used absolute ablest language
when he could think of nothing else because if they
were known as sis hetero white man, he had nothing
else but to make up things and using ablest language,
(11:00):
right yeah, yeah, and and something else if you just
opened like more doors for me, that this is gosh um.
(11:23):
Because there's also I get uncomfortable when I see people
making fun of Malania's accents and in general, a lot
of women in Trump's orbit, who again I do not like.
I don't like what they've done. I get it, but
we're using stuff that's harmful to other people. So I've
seen a lot of like sexism about what I like
her past um, Stormy Daniels. There's a lot of sexism.
(11:46):
And this is coming from like people who are you know,
a liberal or democratic or they're making fun exactly exactly,
and so I just gosh, this is so hard to
talk about because I'm just like, I know it's because
they use this stuff and they use it against like
people like you and I. Right, but it's not right
(12:06):
for us to use it in response, even though they
deserve to be punished and they're not getting punished. They
deserved to be called out, and they get called out
and nothing like. Right. That's the thing is that we
don't want to continue to perpetuate the negativity they have
spurned upon us. And I say they, I mean those
who want to continue in this supremacy. Um, don't get
me wrong, Like, I absolutely hate my voice. So when
(12:29):
people criticize my voice, okay, but I also want to
be like, you know, this is the language thing, right.
You know, I spoke Korean until I was eight, learned
a completely different accent, and trying to like adapt is
a whole hard thing. Also, like, big ups to everybody
who was in this industry who are actual voice actors.
That takes talent and I'm not there yet. That's a
whole different conversation. But yeah, I'm not gonna tell you
(12:52):
you're being racist or that you're being uh prejudiced without
knowing that you're being prejudiced, because that seems like a stretch.
But you need to understand why my voice and my
speech sound like this. As the person on this end,
I hate it too. I hate my voice also, so
you know it only feeds into that. But yeah, absolutely
(13:13):
goes into that same narrative of I do not love
that Milannia is sitting here and elevating Trump as if
he is the savior of a country. But and yes,
there are many faults with that, But to attack her
if she was involved in sex work, that's not something
(13:34):
we need to do. Uh, to attack her because she
has an accent that's not us and by the way
the US does not have one concrete accent, as we
all know, there's different dialects as well as the fact
that US made up of many cultures that came as
a young country still that's come together, and this is
that narrative. They want to feel that you should that
(13:54):
sound one way. We don't want to add to that.
We don't want to add to that. I know it's
hard going that higher road quote unquote, and I'm angry
about that because it doesn't feel like it's getting anywhere.
So it feels like the people that we have pushed
to put in to fight for us are too polite
to a certain extent. But there's a difference in doing
it correctly and in doing it in a way that's
(14:17):
not beneficial and only looking out for yourself. Yes, yes,
because as you said, like, there's plenty of other stuff
to go after, right, And that's actually factual that has
gone downly. If we want to talk about Trump and
his policies and how that he literally gutted policies that
to protect women, let's talk about that he literally gutted
(14:38):
to protect marginalized communities. Let's go after that. If we
want to talk about the fact that he has opened
up the platform for supremacists who come out and be proud.
Let's talk about that, because that in itself is bad.
I know not everybody agrees with that, or people have
conspiracy theories, but we can talk about that in their selves. Again,
(15:00):
there are own moments that I want to take the
low road as well, especially when it comes to sexist
men and calling out there high uh standards that that
will never be met because they don't deserve those standards.
And I'm going to let the people who are good
at it do it, but I think we need to
be careful in on understanding what this can do when
(15:21):
it comes to uh, the larger picture and who is
actually hurting. Yeah. Yeah, And I think that's a great
point too, because I know here's the whole argument about
like comedy and public figures and all of that, but
I just think there's there's a way to do it
that doesn't hurt a bunch of other people are hurt.
(15:42):
Can they stop pretending like comedians should get a get
out of jail card for this situation, because no, just
because they were allowed to get away with it doesn't
mean we shouldn't be able to call it out and
those people who are let your ruining jokes, you need
a better sense of humor because your sense of humor
is based on racism, sexism, misogyny and any of the
other isms. Yeah, exactly, good dude, there's plenty of funny things,
(16:05):
and I promise yes, I'm not gonna lie like only
murders in the building. We watched it. There's some moments
that I'm like, oh, could be careful now, but like
the slapstick comedy that Martin Short and Steve Martin have
done from the past, they bring it back a little
bit and I'm like, this is hilarious. It's hilarious. Yes, yes,
(16:28):
and their legends. Yes, not currently a sponsored but I
am excited to check it out. So yeah. And I
also get like, I get the knee jerk wanting to
especially with evangelical voters who are like, oh Trump, and
then you were like, but look at what he's done.
(16:48):
But that's still hurting. I get it. But it's hurting
like the wrong people to think that he's done other
than they think they've saved babies. Oh well, just like
trying to uh point out he's had an affair, Like
they're not going to change their minds um, So yeah,
(17:08):
they're not going to change their mind and it's just
hurting other people. Um. And also, like I've seen with
putin a lot of homophobic rhetoric around him. So yeah,
I get I get I don't know. This is some
kind I get it. I get it, but be careful
think about it. And I really think if you're adding
(17:31):
to a toxic narrative already and I know it secks
because they do it, but that doesn't mean we should
do it. I mean again, I'm going to come put
this back to me because I'm that self centered. The
adoption trope that was happening with the memes, that's a
prime example. It's not as cute as you think it is.
And I know who you think you're getting back at
(17:53):
is that conservative group, but it's not. Yeah, it's not. Yeah,
that's exactly exactly it. Yep. Okay, all right, Well and Goad,
we talked about this. I'm glad you brought it up.
I hope you never because I feel like, if nothing else,
we have to have a reality check where we are,
what we're going, and how our language affects people. Yes, yes,
(18:17):
and I don't want to it's something that just I
would hear jokes and it would just like make me
cringe and I it was against somebody. I hated that.
I was still like, but it's not just against him. Yeah,
so it's been on my mind. I hope, I hope
we made this coherent and you're not like outraged at us,
because if it's not clear, we don't like a lot
(18:38):
of people, any of these people we talked about, but um,
we didn't need to talk about it. As always, if
you would like to contact us, you can our emails,
Stuff Media, mom Stuff that I Hurt mea dot com.
You can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast
or on Instagram at Stuff I've Never Told You. Thanks
it's always to our super producer Christina. Thank you Christina,
and thanks to you for listening Stuff I've Never told
(18:58):
you protection But I heeartradio for more podcast from my
Heart Radio. I heard you app Apple Podcast or wud
be listening to your favorite shows. H
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff
I've never told your protection of I heart radio. So
I'm going to be real honest with you listeners. And Samantha,
I have been putting this one off for a long time.
(00:26):
I've wanted to talk about it for a long time,
but I'm nervous to talk about it. I think we
should talk about it, though, because it's about problematic insults.
But one of the reasons I really don't want to
talk about it, but I feel like we've got to
talk about it is because Trump and I hate that
guy and I hate talking about him. And it's like
I lied awake at night thinking about this and just
(00:46):
thinking like, oh no, oh, I don't want to do it,
but we're gonna do it, okay. And I just want
to know, like if it's not obvious, please No, I'm
not ever defending him ever, never know. But I just
think that a lot of the insults I see used
against him, while maybe very very satisfying, are extremely problematic. Yeah,
(01:09):
so we're just gonna talk about that for a minute.
Also another note, I understand there's a history of racist, homophobic,
abilists and sex sistlers and insults that are horrifically problematic.
That's not what we're really talking about, UM, because I
feel like that stuff is people do it because they're terrible,
But it's more like we all a lot of us
are like, that's terrible, don't do it. I'm talking about
(01:30):
more of the mainstream popular stuff we see, like from comedians,
talked to hosts, like everybody, um about about this is
just the most high profile thing I could think of. Um.
I just wanted to talk about it because I think
(01:51):
a lot of us to hate this guy, and for
very good reason. But the way that people are using,
the insults they're using around him are damaging other people. Right,
there's a social responsibility as someone who can have commentary
about not liking or disliking any specific things, policies, politics,
(02:14):
all of that, attitudes actions that we really don't have
to do where we're damaging other people who also dislike
this person. Like that's a thing and we should be
very cognizant of that in general. Yeah. Yeah, And so
one of the big ones I've seen our physical insults UM,
in particular fat phobia. And again, I know it's it's
(02:36):
hard because it bothers him and you want to bother him.
But the messages that being fat or overweight is bad
and that's not a good message, and a lot of
people are taking that in and hearing people laugh about it,
hearing it used in this way where it's an insult
and picking that upright and seeing that, yeah, we're laughing
(02:58):
about it. So that's not good. This is so like,
because I agree it's not good, but I just hate
this guy so much. It's so like, oh, but it
shouldn't be like that shouldn't be an insult. And in general,
I get physical insults make me uncomfortable. Yeah, and we've
(03:21):
talked about I mean, it is definitely also a double
standard when because this gets used against women all the time,
physical insults all like, that's probably people's go to. I
just think because this is a public figure that people
hate so much, they're sort of forgetting that it doesn't
stop just because you hate that person. That's still harmful narrative. Yeah,
(03:47):
and you know, I think the problem with this is,
as you were saying, this is something that gets under
his skin. So therefore people really want to use a
personal blow because we know at least it's going to
bother him as well. As the fact that oftentimes your reaction,
especially because people like him with his UH tactics in general,
(04:09):
go for the low blow, and so we meet him
there as well. And I've talked about it before with
like TikTok stars who use this tactic too, and I'm like, yeah, finally,
for me, it's both of those things, like, finally you're
going after them for what they're doing. You're meeting them
to their standards. But it shouldn't have to be that way.
There's a lot of conversation back and forth because I
(04:30):
have an internal conflict with that as well, because I'm like,
I'm not skinny, and I've definitely been called chunky like
in many ways, and it hurts my feelings a whole lot,
like for the longest time, because I saw that narrative
as so like a negative that I it would hurt
my feelings. Even now, I'm very self conscious of it,
even though I've become more aware of myself and more
confident in myself, and I'm like, you know what, I
don't love this necessarily because I've been taught I shouldn't
(04:53):
love this. But at the same time, I have to
weigh that to the fact that I'm actually happy and healthy,
Like I've gone to the doctor and I'm still mine.
So I'm like, so what is this? But having to
change their mindset and altogether it is also this whole
conversation we're having and that this is not the row
we should be going. But it's easy when to take,
especially when they're the ones that seem to be doing
(05:14):
it first, and you really want to go after it,
you really do, and it's easy to do. But also
I think most people are smaller enough to see that
the truth in itself, it's sort of an insult, Like
there's factual things that we can insult, like not not
necessarily about body and image and of that, just like
the things that he has said, the things that he
is doing, the things that we are like what what
(05:35):
is it wrong with you? His own like past history. Yeah, definitely,
there's plenty two truths from there. Um. But I am
glad you brought that up because there has been a
reclaiming of of words like fats um and so I
think that's important to mention too. But it is I
(05:56):
feel like a lot of people using it are not
using it in that way. They're using it because they
think it is an insult, and it is bad, right,
It's definitely uses. Its weaponized for sure, and it's according
to who was coming from. Again, I don't think there's
a lot of people who are going to tell you
that they're fine with that word fat or overweight or
(06:17):
obese or any of those things. But in the end,
it's not really ours to claim when we're talking about
other people. That makes sense, Yes, yes, yes, absolutely, and
there are another double standard. I want to talk about this,
and this is actually what inspired this. I'm just gonna
show you how long I put off this episode when
we were talking about strategic incompetence, but even before that,
(06:39):
when we were talking about um kind of the stereotypical
sitcom hetero relationship of a fat man with a thin
woman and how that sends a message as well in
terms of like one of these is more acceptable less
sad um. So like, yeah, basically the message there is
(07:02):
a fat woman is sadder than a fat man, right,
and more acceptable. Fat man is more acceptable than fat woman.
So that's also something we have to think about when
we're using these and who it's impacting, these insults, who
it's impacting, and that makes me really angry, just to
type it and just say it UM. But that is
I mean, that's what we talked about. You never it's
(07:23):
almost always that dynamic. I mean, that's even taught in
specific cultures, Christian culture. I've talked about it before with
the famous author Elizabeth Elliott, who was a big Christian
author who was talking about purity essentially um and has
a like she has sold millions and millions of millions
of dollars worth of UH copies. I think she's gone now,
(07:46):
but that was one of our things, was like, if
you want to keep your man happy, you should be
thin um. And if you're not doing that, you are
not fulfilling your wifely duties. Like this level of standard
that really pushed into Christian women, that there was a
perfection level and your weight in your body and your
sexualfe all the things that are so pushed against us
(08:07):
to the detriment of women's self esteem and worth, Like
their worth is based on if they can please their husband,
and these are the things that pleases the husband. But
there's no narrative for the man except should be a leader,
which is a misogynistic ideal in any way. It brings
a lot of violence out but that's that conversation, is
that this level that is like ingrained into so many
(08:30):
women who really feel like this is their godly slash
just duty in general. Right. Yeah, that's something we've talked
about a lot about how religion, and particularly Christian religion
here and morality got all tied up with wait for women, um,
and we still see that um. Something else I wanted
to mention is able is um, which again, like I
(08:53):
never want to make it sound wise, we're talking about
this as a feminist podcast, we get a lot of
terrible insults and a lot of problem insults, Like that's
part of the problem is that like Trump is ablest.
He's shown it, said it, done it, and beyond and
(09:14):
beyond like terrible and he is a terrible person. But
I've seen people use ablest language to insult the right. Right,
is really insulting to those people who are in the
disabled community who have done so much good, uh and
(09:34):
have continued to do so good. And yeah, again it's
just that negative, really harmful, and we mean harmful as
in causing violence against these communities. We are being literal
when we say harmful, not just metaphorically. Oh it hard,
the feelings, no, it is getting key people killed. And
this ablest trope is absolutely it was as well as
(09:56):
everything else. But I feel like, yeah, it kind brought
on this whole like shining light because he was, for
better or for words, like very open about his able ism,
very open about his racism, very open about his classism
and sexism, like this is not hiding it one bit,
(10:16):
and it was. It brings harm, physical violent harm onto
these communities and we have to be aware of that.
And the able ism was one of the biggest up
there because he used it for all the things, Like
he used that language in so many ways. He used
that language to actually go after a disabled a journalist.
He uses a language in general when he just didn't
(10:38):
like someone caused his constituents that way, like talking about
their intelligence, and then he went after his own coworkers,
other politicians, those who are supposed to be on his side,
like he went after them and used absolute ablest language
when he could think of nothing else because if they
were known as sis hetero white man, he had nothing
else but to make up things and using ablest language,
(11:00):
right yeah, yeah, and and something else if you just
opened like more doors for me, that this is gosh um.
(11:23):
Because there's also I get uncomfortable when I see people
making fun of Malania's accents and in general, a lot
of women in Trump's orbit, who again I do not like.
I don't like what they've done. I get it, but
we're using stuff that's harmful to other people. So I've
seen a lot of like sexism about what I like
her past um, Stormy Daniels. There's a lot of sexism.
(11:46):
And this is coming from like people who are you know,
a liberal or democratic or they're making fun exactly exactly,
and so I just gosh, this is so hard to
talk about because I'm just like, I know it's because
they use this stuff and they use it against like
people like you and I. Right, but it's not right
(12:06):
for us to use it in response, even though they
deserve to be punished and they're not getting punished. They
deserved to be called out, and they get called out
and nothing like. Right. That's the thing is that we
don't want to continue to perpetuate the negativity they have
spurned upon us. And I say they, I mean those
who want to continue in this supremacy. Um, don't get
me wrong, Like, I absolutely hate my voice. So when
(12:29):
people criticize my voice, okay, but I also want to
be like, you know, this is the language thing, right.
You know, I spoke Korean until I was eight, learned
a completely different accent, and trying to like adapt is
a whole hard thing. Also, like, big ups to everybody
who was in this industry who are actual voice actors.
That takes talent and I'm not there yet. That's a
whole different conversation. But yeah, I'm not gonna tell you
(12:52):
you're being racist or that you're being uh prejudiced without
knowing that you're being prejudiced, because that seems like a stretch.
But you need to understand why my voice and my
speech sound like this. As the person on this end,
I hate it too. I hate my voice also, so
you know it only feeds into that. But yeah, absolutely
(13:13):
goes into that same narrative of I do not love
that Milannia is sitting here and elevating Trump as if
he is the savior of a country. But and yes,
there are many faults with that, But to attack her
if she was involved in sex work, that's not something
(13:34):
we need to do. Uh, to attack her because she
has an accent that's not us and by the way
the US does not have one concrete accent, as we
all know, there's different dialects as well as the fact
that US made up of many cultures that came as
a young country still that's come together, and this is
that narrative. They want to feel that you should that
(13:54):
sound one way. We don't want to add to that.
We don't want to add to that. I know it's
hard going that higher road quote unquote, and I'm angry
about that because it doesn't feel like it's getting anywhere.
So it feels like the people that we have pushed
to put in to fight for us are too polite
to a certain extent. But there's a difference in doing
it correctly and in doing it in a way that's
(14:17):
not beneficial and only looking out for yourself. Yes, yes,
because as you said, like, there's plenty of other stuff
to go after, right, And that's actually factual that has
gone downly. If we want to talk about Trump and
his policies and how that he literally gutted policies that
to protect women, let's talk about that he literally gutted
(14:38):
to protect marginalized communities. Let's go after that. If we
want to talk about the fact that he has opened
up the platform for supremacists who come out and be proud.
Let's talk about that, because that in itself is bad.
I know not everybody agrees with that, or people have
conspiracy theories, but we can talk about that in their selves. Again,
(15:00):
there are own moments that I want to take the
low road as well, especially when it comes to sexist
men and calling out there high uh standards that that
will never be met because they don't deserve those standards.
And I'm going to let the people who are good
at it do it, but I think we need to
be careful in on understanding what this can do when
(15:21):
it comes to uh, the larger picture and who is
actually hurting. Yeah. Yeah, And I think that's a great
point too, because I know here's the whole argument about
like comedy and public figures and all of that, but
I just think there's there's a way to do it
that doesn't hurt a bunch of other people are hurt.
(15:42):
Can they stop pretending like comedians should get a get
out of jail card for this situation, because no, just
because they were allowed to get away with it doesn't
mean we shouldn't be able to call it out and
those people who are let your ruining jokes, you need
a better sense of humor because your sense of humor
is based on racism, sexism, misogyny and any of the
other isms. Yeah, exactly, good dude, there's plenty of funny things,
(16:05):
and I promise yes, I'm not gonna lie like only
murders in the building. We watched it. There's some moments
that I'm like, oh, could be careful now, but like
the slapstick comedy that Martin Short and Steve Martin have
done from the past, they bring it back a little
bit and I'm like, this is hilarious. It's hilarious. Yes, yes,
(16:28):
and their legends. Yes, not currently a sponsored but I
am excited to check it out. So yeah. And I
also get like, I get the knee jerk wanting to
especially with evangelical voters who are like, oh Trump, and
then you were like, but look at what he's done.
(16:48):
But that's still hurting. I get it. But it's hurting
like the wrong people to think that he's done other
than they think they've saved babies. Oh well, just like
trying to uh point out he's had an affair, Like
they're not going to change their minds um, So yeah,
(17:08):
they're not going to change their mind and it's just
hurting other people. Um. And also, like I've seen with
putin a lot of homophobic rhetoric around him. So yeah,
I get I get I don't know. This is some
kind I get it. I get it, but be careful
think about it. And I really think if you're adding
(17:31):
to a toxic narrative already and I know it secks
because they do it, but that doesn't mean we should
do it. I mean again, I'm going to come put
this back to me because I'm that self centered. The
adoption trope that was happening with the memes, that's a
prime example. It's not as cute as you think it is.
And I know who you think you're getting back at
(17:53):
is that conservative group, but it's not. Yeah, it's not. Yeah,
that's exactly exactly it. Yep. Okay, all right, Well and Goad,
we talked about this. I'm glad you brought it up.
I hope you never because I feel like, if nothing else,
we have to have a reality check where we are,
what we're going, and how our language affects people. Yes, yes,
(18:17):
and I don't want to it's something that just I
would hear jokes and it would just like make me
cringe and I it was against somebody. I hated that.
I was still like, but it's not just against him. Yeah,
so it's been on my mind. I hope, I hope
we made this coherent and you're not like outraged at us,
because if it's not clear, we don't like a lot
(18:38):
of people, any of these people we talked about, but um,
we didn't need to talk about it. As always, if
you would like to contact us, you can our emails,
Stuff Media, mom Stuff that I Hurt mea dot com.
You can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast
or on Instagram at Stuff I've Never Told You. Thanks
it's always to our super producer Christina. Thank you Christina,
and thanks to you for listening Stuff I've Never told
(18:58):
you protection But I heeartradio for more podcast from my
Heart Radio. I heard you app Apple Podcast or wud
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