September 21, 2020 • 18 mins
Anney and Samantha discuss productivity and job performance guilt during quarantine.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stephane.
Never told your production of I Heart Radio. Here's a
question for you. I feel like you've told me before,
but I can't remember. Have you ever been in a play? Oh,
(00:28):
we have not talked about this, and yes, I was
actually in drama for two or three years. Oh what
was your starring role? Give me some hits, Samantha McVeigh. Hits.
So I figured out that I'm a lazy, lazy person,
so memorizing things was not my favorite. And even though
they liked my talent as an actor, I didn't get
leading roles. I was my very first production. I was
(00:52):
a stage manager and I didn't know what the hell
I was doing. But because I talked to the game
of looking like I was organized and knew what I
was doing, they put me there and then it was
one of our competition plays. It's a huge mistake, huge mistake.
We didn't do awful, but I was a nervous wreck.
But we did many a place with its sound off,
no noises off, and that wow, this is how long
(01:14):
it was noises off? Um, and I played I forgot
what character it was. I was very maternal apparently in
my roles. Uh. In most of the plays, I will
give you that. For some reason, they put me as
a mother figure. I don't know. Did you dies, I
don't know. Did you get nervous? Were you nervous performer?
(01:38):
I can't remember being nervous. I think that I was
nervous building up, kind of like how you and I
have talked about this fact. Until I get on that
stage or onto that moment, I'm good, but it's the
build up. Yeah. Um. And even now as I'm thinking
about it, I can't quite remember all of my roles.
But I will say I had really good comedic timing
enough to know when I would get the big laughs.
(01:59):
And I usually would was the one that would get
the big laughs. That's a skill. I mean, I'm just saying,
and I think I already know this answer. But you know,
I'm not talked about have you been in place? Well?
I know you've been in movies. You've been in tons
of movies, but well, tons is an exaggeration, but I
appreciate it. Uh, I have been in place. What My
(02:19):
first role was tree number two? Uh? In the play
The Square, So bar on the Square play from Delonaga.
I was Tree Number two and also the Shopoholic UM.
And I was an extremely nervous performer, Like I even
(02:43):
would get cast in like a wead role and then
I would lose it because my voice would just shaker.
I would shake and my my brain would go like
totally numb. Um. And then I did a bunch of
plays back when I was deter rman to be an actor,
like maybe six years ago, and all of them are
(03:04):
really really messed up dramatic roles. Um. And I had
an instance and this this is very embarrassing, but I
will share it UM, where I was a very I
was clearly struggling with a lot of emotional issues with
my husband in the play, and there was one part
(03:27):
where I like crouched out and I was saying something
really serious and everyone was like, oh, so good. And
afterwards somebody came up to me. I was like, that
was a really bold choice you made, uh, because my
fly had come on the zipford come undone when I
crouched and I was wearing white underwear that were stained
with blood, but it was stage prop blood from another
(03:50):
thing I had done, and so they thought it was
some kind of weird like miscarriage. Thing I was doing,
and I was like, oh no, please tell me you
leaned into that. I mean, oh, I pretended like, ok,
I guess okay. Yeah. I don't think I've ever had
any mishaps like that. Most of mine roles I always,
like I said, I was very maternal or matron lee.
(04:12):
So I had the old makeup and gray hair. Those
were the main problems for me. So I didn't have
that type of mishap. Yeah. I for some reason, I
get always the like very troubled. Yeah this is yeah,
make kind of fit our personalities a little bit, A
(04:34):
little bit, a little bit, I don't know I feel
about that, but not really troubled. But you can get
to that point, which is why you write tragedy in itself. Yes, yes,
I like a good drama, like a good tragedy. They're
definitely my favorite. I did do a comedy and that
one was much more intimidating to be by far Um.
But anyway, all that to say all of that to say,
(04:57):
we're talking about productivity again, but also uh specifically specifically
performance guilt, which is something I've been experiencing. And while
we do have jobs that are performance based, I do
think what We're talking about a lot of people do experience.
It's not just performers who feel it. Um So Yeah,
(05:18):
since COVID there have been so many articles on productivity
during the pandemic and quarantine, alternately claiming it's okay to
not be productive, or like, don't even imagine being productive,
or don't treat this like a sabbatical, don't waste time
in quotes are tips on how to be more productive,
and many other articles on how this whole thing has
(05:42):
further exposed in always on work culture Right, and though
we talked about it not too long ago, we wanted
to readdress what does productivity look actually look like today?
And are we overdoing it? Does our go get them
and do more attitude help or hurt? And yeah, the
whole level of does it put to the point that
(06:02):
we have to perform and show once again we are
always on top of it, We are amazing. We can
never be you know, at fault for things and even
we you and I have talked about this plenty of
times that it kind of comes into if we're not perfect,
if we're not always on point, Yes, part of our
imposter syndrome that we're not doing enough and so therefore
we're not qualified for this. Yeah, And to be clear,
(06:27):
this is not uh something that has been limited to
quarantine for me and I know for probably most people. Um,
but in our job specifically, there are times where, for
one reason or another, I am just not on, like
(06:49):
it's not there. And I remember once I I had
just found out this like horrible news, and I had
to go into a studio and I recorded the episode,
and every every now and then I think about that
episode and people wrote in and they're like, it just
sounded like you weren't interested, that you weren't into it,
and they were right, and it's it's like that balancing
(07:13):
act of this has to be done. There's a deadline,
but I don't have it. And that's happening more and
more during quarantine because there are so many stressors, there's
so much stuff, and it feels like such an excuse
when and sometimes it's not even you or me, or
(07:34):
it could be someone else on our team there they
are not there that day or whatever for whatever reason,
and the work suffers for it. And I felt such
a guilt about it, like I'll lie awake thinking about it. Right,
I think you and I have had this before. I mean, um,
recently I kind of lost it and said, I can't
do this today, I can't do this. I am monitor
(07:56):
my voice changes. I think that's you and I've talked
about this. I actually a more monotone. I've become very
just robotic and trying to move through it. Um. But myself,
as a social worker who has gone through, you know,
a lot of therapy and stuff, also, I am angry
with myself that I can't I just won't sit um.
(08:17):
But at the same time, it is it's this, It's
this balancing act of fulfilling your obligations and being responsible,
but at the same time listening to your body and
listening to your mental health as well. So where is
that balance? Who are you hurting? What are you hurting?
And who do you owe allegiance to? At the point time,
it kind of does feel like you're betraying someone if
(08:37):
you can't entertain them to a certain point. I know,
you know, you and I have talked about this a
lot of times. As in fact, we talked about it
because you and I hang out often and we communicate
so differently about what we want or having to make
decisions or who's doing what that we over communicate sometimes.
I know I do because I want to make sure
(08:59):
it's perfect. But anxiety level of being perfect or making
something perfect and making everyone comfortable, it's so high. And
then you put yourself in a pandemic in the quarantine
where you've backtrack and everything you may have done wrong,
and this is this is an overwhelming guilt. And then
at the same time, you're not doing enough. Yeah, yeah,
(09:23):
it is. And I think because we are hearing, we're
seeing all these articles about how to be more protective
or or the other day I was reading somebody and
good for her, but she was like, I'm having the
best time in Corny. I'm getting all this done. And
we we put that pressure on ourselves and it may
I get angry too. I'm like, well, why can't I
(09:45):
be better at this? It's not like I have other faiths,
right right? Um? And we did our in our remote
work episode that came out recently, we talked about this
and about kind of this bleed of working home life
and that balance and how a lot of us actually aren't.
(10:08):
We're working more, right, but I feel like I'm working more,
but I'm not working better and that upsets me. But
I also am trying to be compassionate of well, there
is a lot going on and there's only so much
you can push yourself. I think it's also because you
are quarantined, especially you you're by yourself, and as well
(10:30):
as you have done and as much support group you
may have, the inner dialogue never dies. And being by yourself,
you who have trouble sleeping, myself who has trouble with
depression and anxiety both, it just kind of builds on
itself when you start to argue and you allow the
(10:51):
darker side to take over, and it kind of like
I just got done with the Caroline on and lady
like doing an Instagram life thing and I feel awful,
and not because I did anything wrong, but I'm just
second guessing everything I said and feeling embarrassed about half
the things I said and if I probably went back
and looked at it, which I haven't. M H, it
(11:13):
was fine, Yeah, I mean, my rational part of me
is everything was fine, but the inner dialogue that I
can't shut off, and especially trying to perform, especially being
you know, I want to do these things. I want
to be better at these things. So this is a
great time to learn your skills, you know, to better
your skills, but then feeling like, oh, yeah, there's nothing
(11:34):
I can do right, yeah, And I just want to say,
like not to tuot our own horror. I think we've
been doing a great job. It's just it does come
down to inner dialogue and just having days where you
it's such a slog and I know a lot of
(11:55):
people are feeling that. And it was interesting when I
was researching this kind of, like very briefly, I found
a lot of articles about how people use hustle the
side hustle as a way to convince ourselves that we
have control where we actually probably don't, especially in a
capitalistic society that doesn't really care about you, Like oh,
if I do this and do this and do this,
(12:16):
I'll succeed, Like these are things I have control over,
And how a lot of people, particularly in the United States,
use productivity as a coping mechanism, and that ranks so
true for me of like, well, what did what did you?
What did this day amount to? Oh, I did this
list of things. I accomplished this list of things, And
how some people have even made it almost a moral
(12:38):
thing where it's like something you are a good person
if you're productive. Um, and then of course we all
know people are behave differently under stressed. Some thrive under
stressed and some don't. But just U, I guess I've
never really thought about it in that way, and this
is a time where I'm having to examine it. I know.
(13:00):
I've seen a lot of people doing the whole if
I speak it out, it will come true, so you know,
bringing words to life essentially, and I've seen that as
a conversation about making money and so the hustle um
doing this, I'm going to have a savings account. I've
seen that as a big thing and that's great, lofty goals.
But for me as a part of it's like, oh
(13:21):
I can't. It's not because I'm being self deprecated, because
that's not possible, you know, Like that's for everyone. And
putting this out there for yourself as self motivation it's great,
but setting yourself up to fail is a whole different story.
And that's what I've seen a lot of, like the
back and forth of like, yeah, these are really great things,
but realistically you're in an area, you're in a country
(13:44):
that if you've not been given these things because your
family already has it. You may not ever, and that
doesn't make you any less. Just because you didn't have
the same opportunities does not make you less. But you
set yourself up to fail when you put that same
standards on yourself as those who's got the money, who's
that money, and pretend like that was their goal. It's
just it's really interesting to see these American dreams when
(14:07):
it's like, it's not an American dream, it's a rich
person jury. It's the billionaire's dream to continue to get
more money because they've already had that money, or being
to continue or has a big system that helps them
build up. So this could be a whole conversation if
we're talking about monetarily successful capitalism and who doesn't help
doesn't really help the working man? No man, well man, yes, yes, yeah,
(14:31):
that is a whole big conversation, um and all, and
a lot of this could be expounded out, but for now,
that's sort of it's been on my mind lately, a
lot of guilt around not it's not that I'm not productive,
I am, it's now I have a guilt that it's
(14:54):
not good what I'm producing and it's only going to
get worse because contrary to what you see on social media,
things are not getting better and we should not necessarily
operate at full yeah social status. Um, but continue because
I'm not gonna lie. I've put up some really pretty
(15:16):
pictures of beaches, but I've been fortunate enough to have
connections like you and people who have been uh quarantined
enough and have a small circle, and then being able
to be in an isolated area but outside of that
that's it, and seeing people like talking about traveling and
going and seeing in restaurants and things, and and I'm like,
oh no, I'm missing out. Maybe I'm overreacting. But at
(15:38):
the same time, but also part of this is like
we had over a thousand deaths today alone. You know, Um,
that's not happen. It's not nothing slowing down. It's continuing
to be worse. It's continuing to happen. The fires in
California are ugly, are like really really horrendous and very
very tragic, and it's not slowing down. So not to
(15:59):
be the sad sack of the group as I always am,
it's not necessarily going to be better. We're gonna have
to start allowing ourselves to forgive ourselves on everything we
can't meet and that's part of the trick of this
whole damn thing. Yeah it is, it is, um, and
(16:22):
we're all figuring it out. It's different for everybody, so
but it's okay. We're here with you. We are. I
still KNT makes our dough bread neither well, I haven't tried,
but I suspect it won't go well. I am going
to try it though, trand as like everyone's done with it,
(16:45):
that's right when I'm like, it's time I paused on
my knitting. Uh, my basil plants have died the only
place I have. They died because I was gone this
week and um, I didn't set up proper right my
own mind row. Um. So yes, I have a million
(17:06):
many of failures in my pocket, but it doesn't mean
I won't keep trying. I'll go buy another basic plant somewhere.
This is an interesting It became more of a downer
than I thought it was going to be, but I
should have known that's what we do. Yeah, well, we
would listen together. Um. We would love to hear from
(17:31):
any listeners about your thoughts on productivity and performance, guilt,
or just how's it going for you was happening for you. Yeah,
how's your quarantine going? You can email us at Stuff Media,
mom Stuff at I hurt media dot com. You can
find us on Instagram at stuff I Never Told You
are on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as always
(17:53):
to our super producers Andrew Howard and j. J. Pasbay.
Sorry for making you sad, and thanks to you for
listening Stuff I've Never Told You, production of I Heart Radio.
For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, Visito I Heart
Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stephane.
Never told your production of I Heart Radio. Here's a
question for you. I feel like you've told me before,
but I can't remember. Have you ever been in a play? Oh,
(00:28):
we have not talked about this, and yes, I was
actually in drama for two or three years. Oh what
was your starring role? Give me some hits, Samantha McVeigh. Hits.
So I figured out that I'm a lazy, lazy person,
so memorizing things was not my favorite. And even though
they liked my talent as an actor, I didn't get
leading roles. I was my very first production. I was
(00:52):
a stage manager and I didn't know what the hell
I was doing. But because I talked to the game
of looking like I was organized and knew what I
was doing, they put me there and then it was
one of our competition plays. It's a huge mistake, huge mistake.
We didn't do awful, but I was a nervous wreck.
But we did many a place with its sound off,
no noises off, and that wow, this is how long
(01:14):
it was noises off? Um, and I played I forgot
what character it was. I was very maternal apparently in
my roles. Uh. In most of the plays, I will
give you that. For some reason, they put me as
a mother figure. I don't know. Did you dies, I
don't know. Did you get nervous? Were you nervous performer?
(01:38):
I can't remember being nervous. I think that I was
nervous building up, kind of like how you and I
have talked about this fact. Until I get on that
stage or onto that moment, I'm good, but it's the
build up. Yeah. Um. And even now as I'm thinking
about it, I can't quite remember all of my roles.
But I will say I had really good comedic timing
enough to know when I would get the big laughs.
(01:59):
And I usually would was the one that would get
the big laughs. That's a skill. I mean, I'm just saying,
and I think I already know this answer. But you know,
I'm not talked about have you been in place? Well?
I know you've been in movies. You've been in tons
of movies, but well, tons is an exaggeration, but I
appreciate it. Uh, I have been in place. What My
(02:19):
first role was tree number two? Uh? In the play
The Square, So bar on the Square play from Delonaga.
I was Tree Number two and also the Shopoholic UM.
And I was an extremely nervous performer, Like I even
(02:43):
would get cast in like a wead role and then
I would lose it because my voice would just shaker.
I would shake and my my brain would go like
totally numb. Um. And then I did a bunch of
plays back when I was deter rman to be an actor,
like maybe six years ago, and all of them are
(03:04):
really really messed up dramatic roles. Um. And I had
an instance and this this is very embarrassing, but I
will share it UM, where I was a very I
was clearly struggling with a lot of emotional issues with
my husband in the play, and there was one part
(03:27):
where I like crouched out and I was saying something
really serious and everyone was like, oh, so good. And
afterwards somebody came up to me. I was like, that
was a really bold choice you made, uh, because my
fly had come on the zipford come undone when I
crouched and I was wearing white underwear that were stained
with blood, but it was stage prop blood from another
(03:50):
thing I had done, and so they thought it was
some kind of weird like miscarriage. Thing I was doing,
and I was like, oh no, please tell me you
leaned into that. I mean, oh, I pretended like, ok,
I guess okay. Yeah. I don't think I've ever had
any mishaps like that. Most of mine roles I always,
like I said, I was very maternal or matron lee.
(04:12):
So I had the old makeup and gray hair. Those
were the main problems for me. So I didn't have
that type of mishap. Yeah. I for some reason, I
get always the like very troubled. Yeah this is yeah,
make kind of fit our personalities a little bit, A
(04:34):
little bit, a little bit, I don't know I feel
about that, but not really troubled. But you can get
to that point, which is why you write tragedy in itself. Yes, yes,
I like a good drama, like a good tragedy. They're
definitely my favorite. I did do a comedy and that
one was much more intimidating to be by far Um.
But anyway, all that to say all of that to say,
(04:57):
we're talking about productivity again, but also uh specifically specifically
performance guilt, which is something I've been experiencing. And while
we do have jobs that are performance based, I do
think what We're talking about a lot of people do experience.
It's not just performers who feel it. Um So Yeah,
(05:18):
since COVID there have been so many articles on productivity
during the pandemic and quarantine, alternately claiming it's okay to
not be productive, or like, don't even imagine being productive,
or don't treat this like a sabbatical, don't waste time
in quotes are tips on how to be more productive,
and many other articles on how this whole thing has
(05:42):
further exposed in always on work culture Right, and though
we talked about it not too long ago, we wanted
to readdress what does productivity look actually look like today?
And are we overdoing it? Does our go get them
and do more attitude help or hurt? And yeah, the
whole level of does it put to the point that
(06:02):
we have to perform and show once again we are
always on top of it, We are amazing. We can
never be you know, at fault for things and even
we you and I have talked about this plenty of
times that it kind of comes into if we're not perfect,
if we're not always on point, Yes, part of our
imposter syndrome that we're not doing enough and so therefore
we're not qualified for this. Yeah, And to be clear,
(06:27):
this is not uh something that has been limited to
quarantine for me and I know for probably most people. Um,
but in our job specifically, there are times where, for
one reason or another, I am just not on, like
(06:49):
it's not there. And I remember once I I had
just found out this like horrible news, and I had
to go into a studio and I recorded the episode,
and every every now and then I think about that
episode and people wrote in and they're like, it just
sounded like you weren't interested, that you weren't into it,
and they were right, and it's it's like that balancing
(07:13):
act of this has to be done. There's a deadline,
but I don't have it. And that's happening more and
more during quarantine because there are so many stressors, there's
so much stuff, and it feels like such an excuse
when and sometimes it's not even you or me, or
(07:34):
it could be someone else on our team there they
are not there that day or whatever for whatever reason,
and the work suffers for it. And I felt such
a guilt about it, like I'll lie awake thinking about it. Right,
I think you and I have had this before. I mean, um,
recently I kind of lost it and said, I can't
do this today, I can't do this. I am monitor
(07:56):
my voice changes. I think that's you and I've talked
about this. I actually a more monotone. I've become very
just robotic and trying to move through it. Um. But myself,
as a social worker who has gone through, you know,
a lot of therapy and stuff, also, I am angry
with myself that I can't I just won't sit um.
(08:17):
But at the same time, it is it's this, It's
this balancing act of fulfilling your obligations and being responsible,
but at the same time listening to your body and
listening to your mental health as well. So where is
that balance? Who are you hurting? What are you hurting?
And who do you owe allegiance to? At the point time,
it kind of does feel like you're betraying someone if
(08:37):
you can't entertain them to a certain point. I know,
you know, you and I have talked about this a
lot of times. As in fact, we talked about it
because you and I hang out often and we communicate
so differently about what we want or having to make
decisions or who's doing what that we over communicate sometimes.
I know I do because I want to make sure
(08:59):
it's perfect. But anxiety level of being perfect or making
something perfect and making everyone comfortable, it's so high. And
then you put yourself in a pandemic in the quarantine
where you've backtrack and everything you may have done wrong,
and this is this is an overwhelming guilt. And then
at the same time, you're not doing enough. Yeah, yeah,
(09:23):
it is. And I think because we are hearing, we're
seeing all these articles about how to be more protective
or or the other day I was reading somebody and
good for her, but she was like, I'm having the
best time in Corny. I'm getting all this done. And
we we put that pressure on ourselves and it may
I get angry too. I'm like, well, why can't I
(09:45):
be better at this? It's not like I have other faiths,
right right? Um? And we did our in our remote
work episode that came out recently, we talked about this
and about kind of this bleed of working home life
and that balance and how a lot of us actually aren't.
(10:08):
We're working more, right, but I feel like I'm working more,
but I'm not working better and that upsets me. But
I also am trying to be compassionate of well, there
is a lot going on and there's only so much
you can push yourself. I think it's also because you
are quarantined, especially you you're by yourself, and as well
(10:30):
as you have done and as much support group you
may have, the inner dialogue never dies. And being by yourself,
you who have trouble sleeping, myself who has trouble with
depression and anxiety both, it just kind of builds on
itself when you start to argue and you allow the
(10:51):
darker side to take over, and it kind of like
I just got done with the Caroline on and lady
like doing an Instagram life thing and I feel awful,
and not because I did anything wrong, but I'm just
second guessing everything I said and feeling embarrassed about half
the things I said and if I probably went back
and looked at it, which I haven't. M H, it
(11:13):
was fine, Yeah, I mean, my rational part of me
is everything was fine, but the inner dialogue that I
can't shut off, and especially trying to perform, especially being
you know, I want to do these things. I want
to be better at these things. So this is a
great time to learn your skills, you know, to better
your skills, but then feeling like, oh, yeah, there's nothing
(11:34):
I can do right, yeah, And I just want to say,
like not to tuot our own horror. I think we've
been doing a great job. It's just it does come
down to inner dialogue and just having days where you
it's such a slog and I know a lot of
(11:55):
people are feeling that. And it was interesting when I
was researching this kind of, like very briefly, I found
a lot of articles about how people use hustle the
side hustle as a way to convince ourselves that we
have control where we actually probably don't, especially in a
capitalistic society that doesn't really care about you, Like oh,
if I do this and do this and do this,
(12:16):
I'll succeed, Like these are things I have control over,
And how a lot of people, particularly in the United States,
use productivity as a coping mechanism, and that ranks so
true for me of like, well, what did what did you?
What did this day amount to? Oh, I did this
list of things. I accomplished this list of things, And
how some people have even made it almost a moral
(12:38):
thing where it's like something you are a good person
if you're productive. Um, and then of course we all
know people are behave differently under stressed. Some thrive under
stressed and some don't. But just U, I guess I've
never really thought about it in that way, and this
is a time where I'm having to examine it. I know.
(13:00):
I've seen a lot of people doing the whole if
I speak it out, it will come true, so you know,
bringing words to life essentially, and I've seen that as
a conversation about making money and so the hustle um
doing this, I'm going to have a savings account. I've
seen that as a big thing and that's great, lofty goals.
But for me as a part of it's like, oh
(13:21):
I can't. It's not because I'm being self deprecated, because
that's not possible, you know, Like that's for everyone. And
putting this out there for yourself as self motivation it's great,
but setting yourself up to fail is a whole different story.
And that's what I've seen a lot of, like the
back and forth of like, yeah, these are really great things,
but realistically you're in an area, you're in a country
(13:44):
that if you've not been given these things because your
family already has it. You may not ever, and that
doesn't make you any less. Just because you didn't have
the same opportunities does not make you less. But you
set yourself up to fail when you put that same
standards on yourself as those who's got the money, who's
that money, and pretend like that was their goal. It's
just it's really interesting to see these American dreams when
(14:07):
it's like, it's not an American dream, it's a rich
person jury. It's the billionaire's dream to continue to get
more money because they've already had that money, or being
to continue or has a big system that helps them
build up. So this could be a whole conversation if
we're talking about monetarily successful capitalism and who doesn't help
doesn't really help the working man? No man, well man, yes, yes, yeah,
(14:31):
that is a whole big conversation, um and all, and
a lot of this could be expounded out, but for now,
that's sort of it's been on my mind lately, a
lot of guilt around not it's not that I'm not productive,
I am, it's now I have a guilt that it's
(14:54):
not good what I'm producing and it's only going to
get worse because contrary to what you see on social media,
things are not getting better and we should not necessarily
operate at full yeah social status. Um, but continue because
I'm not gonna lie. I've put up some really pretty
(15:16):
pictures of beaches, but I've been fortunate enough to have
connections like you and people who have been uh quarantined
enough and have a small circle, and then being able
to be in an isolated area but outside of that
that's it, and seeing people like talking about traveling and
going and seeing in restaurants and things, and and I'm like,
oh no, I'm missing out. Maybe I'm overreacting. But at
(15:38):
the same time, but also part of this is like
we had over a thousand deaths today alone. You know, Um,
that's not happen. It's not nothing slowing down. It's continuing
to be worse. It's continuing to happen. The fires in
California are ugly, are like really really horrendous and very
very tragic, and it's not slowing down. So not to
(15:59):
be the sad sack of the group as I always am,
it's not necessarily going to be better. We're gonna have
to start allowing ourselves to forgive ourselves on everything we
can't meet and that's part of the trick of this
whole damn thing. Yeah it is, it is, um, and
(16:22):
we're all figuring it out. It's different for everybody, so
but it's okay. We're here with you. We are. I
still KNT makes our dough bread neither well, I haven't tried,
but I suspect it won't go well. I am going
to try it though, trand as like everyone's done with it,
(16:45):
that's right when I'm like, it's time I paused on
my knitting. Uh, my basil plants have died the only
place I have. They died because I was gone this
week and um, I didn't set up proper right my
own mind row. Um. So yes, I have a million
(17:06):
many of failures in my pocket, but it doesn't mean
I won't keep trying. I'll go buy another basic plant somewhere.
This is an interesting It became more of a downer
than I thought it was going to be, but I
should have known that's what we do. Yeah, well, we
would listen together. Um. We would love to hear from
(17:31):
any listeners about your thoughts on productivity and performance, guilt,
or just how's it going for you was happening for you. Yeah,
how's your quarantine going? You can email us at Stuff Media,
mom Stuff at I hurt media dot com. You can
find us on Instagram at stuff I Never Told You
are on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as always
(17:53):
to our super producers Andrew Howard and j. J. Pasbay.
Sorry for making you sad, and thanks to you for
listening Stuff I've Never Told You, production of I Heart Radio.
For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, Visito I Heart
Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.
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Samantha McVey
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