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April 20, 2020 • 21 mins

From quarantine fitness routines on social media to articles about looking 'zoom ready', we're still pressuring women to look a certain way even in the face of isolation. Anney and Samantha touch on that, and discuss what having an eating disorder during a pandemic looks like.

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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff.
I never told your production of I Heart Radio. So
before we get started on this Monday, many around quarantine
body trigger warning for eating disorders, because we're going to

(00:28):
talk about what that looks like when you're quarantining. So
if that is something that is triggering for you, totally understand,
maybe don't listen to this one. Um So, I guess
we could start out personally, what's your situation with this
whole eating and exercising and um So, exercising for me

(00:51):
means me getting up from the couch, maybe going down
the stairs and watching peaches run around in circles in
the backyard. Um I have you and you and I
are do something that's kind of our moment, and I
feel inspired and I will keep going sometimes, So that's
always kind of nice, I think. Um outside of that,
I've kind of just been here understanding that sometimes this

(01:15):
anxiety is too much and I just need to sit
and not think on anything and don't pressure myself too
much about what's happening in the world. Also, it helps
that I'm not wearing real pants, like I definitely wear pants.
I am wearing pants, but it happens to be a
men's pajama payants sounds lovely. That's like a little bigger

(01:37):
than typical, and I'm like, these are amazing and they
have giant pockets. I love it off. Maybe ever um
food wise, yeah, it's been interesting to see because we're
not going out that we're constantly cooking and constantly eating.
It was kind of slowed down because part of that

(01:57):
is the constant sitting for me and being inside. I'm like,
what do I do now? I have chips? I want
to go eat that, you know. So it's kind of
one of those things. But I think we're kind of
rolling back to normalcy of Okay, this is a new
norm now, So how do I get into a better
habit than just eating because I'm bored or eating because

(02:17):
I have nothing else to do type of thing. So
it's it started to strain itself out. I did make
last night my um weird taco salad that I make
because my mom used to get used to make it.
She made it from the Rights of ROADI box recipe,
and I love We loved it as kids, and so
it's kind of one of those comfort foods that we made.
I made because I was like, I need something comforting

(02:39):
right now. This is cheese, rice and meat. Yes, please,
it sounds amazing, right. So what about you? What have
you been doing? I know you're not running and that
makes you sad. It makes me very sad, and I
am going to return to this later. Um. I have
run every day pretty much for ten years, for better
or worse. UM. And it's a real hoping mechanism for

(03:01):
me and a lot of people when I tell them that, like,
you can still run, you can still go outside, but
it's just become so like one an anxious, like anxiety
inducing experience. In plus, I've read several articles where they
don't know, like running you might have to stay even
further from someone or something. Yeah, like and I don't

(03:21):
want to put anybody in danger and I don't want
to feel guilty about it, and so I'm not doing it.
But it has been really rough and my muscles, like
you would think they would be rejoicing in this, they
are not. They are not at all. I don't know
if it's like releasing something is finally releasing, but it's
not good. But I have replaced it with um, I'm

(03:43):
doing weights and uh jest dance which is a switch
game that I love, UM, which has been really fun.
And then yes, Samantha and I've been doing some of
our cardio jams and yoga on Instagram if you want
to check that out, which has been fun. Yes, And
this is not necessarily to exercise, it's just distract yourself
while moving. Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, I would never like UM,

(04:05):
and that's something we're consciously doing because it's more about
having fun and moving because exactly because one of the
things we've seen and what we want to talk about
in this is I feel like there's two sides of
this what I kind of jokingly call it quarantine body
spectrum of this huge sudden pressure, like you have the

(04:26):
time work out and get healthy. And here's like all
of these social influencers, social media influencers posting their workout routines, right, um,
and we've seen like weight lost challenges, uh, and like
if you want to get if that's something that you want,
that's great, but like totally, but I think it does

(04:47):
go hand in hand with like, especially when it comes
to women feeling this shame about not being able to
go to the gym and not getting to exercise, UM
and feeling like even in quarantine, even in a pandemic,
you gotta stay fit. Ladies have gotta stay trim, right,
this whole expectation, um, as well as the mirror fat phobia.

(05:09):
That's the conversation and we've seen of like people I
guess thinking that by doing the self deprecating that you're
being funny, but it is a way of being fat
phobic in many many ways. And also just talking about um,
it shows it shows your self esteem and where you are.
It kind of brings out that good and bad of that.

(05:31):
And there's nothing wrong with exercising if that's something that
you need in your life to maintain and something that
you enjoy as long as it's healthy. But at the
same time, yeah, kind of constantly feeling that need to
improve yourself, not only improve yourself, but change yourself vastly
because you feel like you have to buy social standards.
It's not necessarily something that we should be celebrating either.

(05:52):
No um, And more on that in a second as well.
I did want to touch on because we've sort of
seen this too. I've seen a lot of articles, uh
informing me on how to look zoom ready, uh, and
like this whole kind of pressure now that I gotta
put up my makeup on for zoom. Like, I don't it, Samantha,

(06:14):
you can see me. I don't. I just don't want
to have to worry about that. That's not a thing
that I really need to be concerned about. Um. But
it's just it's enlightening how even in the light of
all of this, we're still telling women and everybody, but
especially women, how important their looks are. And it's just

(06:39):
really really ill. And also like the rise and products
that's marketing tours boosting your immune system, which by the way,
is really really dangerous in this time frame, and we've
seen it and we're talking about it on a bigger
scale as the federal government continues to do somewhat similar
things about changing this so it might help you who knows,

(07:00):
which again can also negatively impact are certain type of
eating disorder all about eating only clean and has quote
safe foods, which is dangerous especially in this time as
we're talking about people hoarding food and not getting accessibility
to those healthy foods sometimes and also maintaining at home
unless you have a wonderful garden in the back, and

(07:23):
if you do, I'm very jealous of you, and I
wish I had one as well. Um, this is not
always possible, and we have to have that conversation of
again social media influencers, which I am loving. I don't
know about you, Andy, I am loving the drag that's
happening with celebrity hi guys making really insensitive and privileged conversations.

(07:47):
And you're like, and people will be like, hey, you
know what, you think you're joking, But for us or
not in that world having a you know, mansion where
we can avoid people for five days in a row.
That's not geting. It's not cute at all. Um. And
I also loved the article I don't know if you
saw this that was posted and it was not and
it wasn't a US article, but looking good for your

(08:09):
husband at all times during quarantine and the responsibilities that
you should be doing for your husband, And I'm like,
oh hell no, oh no, sound right. I think there
was a real big backlash of like, uh no, go home,
just just go away. Yeah, no, no, no, no. I
think this should be a time about like I call

(08:31):
it is so leisure, do you know, just comfortable things
and seeing each other and all of your state. I mean, hey,
and I guess what. I brushed my teeth and my
hair for you, so and Andrew, you know what, you
know what. Thank you. Also, I wouldn't have minded if
you had it, But I do want to say I
legitimately had the thought last night. My hair smells damn fine,

(08:53):
and no one's around you appreciate it smells so good, Samantha,
you wouldn't believe it. So yeah, we did want to
go back to that kind of fat phobic thing that
we've seen of so many people discussing their fear of
gaining weight during quarantine, calling it like the COVID fifteen
um like it's the worst thing that could happen to you.

(09:15):
And that is sending a really really terrible damaging message
and treating it like a punchline isn't great either, And
just a reminder healthy bodies present in different ways, and
science shows fat shaming has been linked to weight gain
and for people less likely to exercise right right and
then stress eating and drinking binging. Yes, high levels of

(09:36):
stress can and does lead to binge eating. I will
attest and real or perceived food scarcity can trigger eating
disordered thoughts as well, and high stress can also cause
people not to eat. We know this is an anorexia
and it is a dangerous, dangerous thing. Um. And the
body requires more energy to function when stress, So just

(09:57):
put that in your mind. Who can also distract from
negative emotions and even release chemicals that make us feel
better as in fact, any you talked about the fact
that you like cooking when you're stressing. It's a stress
or leaver for you, and that is an amazing coping skill. Yeah. Um.
And then I have seen some people suggesting jokingly that

(10:19):
folks with anorexia have been training for this food scarcity thing,
and that's bad. We probably don't want to tell you that,
but that don't do that, no. Um. I also remember,
like you said earlier, Samantha, even if you're poking fun
at yourself, you might be hurting your own body image,
whether you know it or not, and people might see that,
and whether you mean to hurt them or not, you

(10:41):
might be. So just be careful when you're posting those
kinds of things. Keep that. As we're talking about eating
disorders and quarantine, about thirty million Americans struggle with eating disorders.
Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental disorder.
And this has been a really triggering time for some people,
as a lot of people with eating disorders, with everything

(11:02):
really uncertain and scary, with no in inside and no
way to anticipate the damage. Eating disorders are a way
of making ourselves feel like we have control over something,
and obviously when you're in a place of anxiety, that's
what you seek is control and isolation. Being cut off
from your support group and or therapists and a lack
of routine also are dangerous things when it come to

(11:23):
eating disorders. All these conversations around food and working out
are super triggering to a lot of people. And all
the internet articles on productivity they don't help either. So
if you if you need maybe a guideline, sure, but
it shouldn't be something that you focus on that could
be a really dangerous place. And nor does having large
windows of unstructured time that gives too many ways of

(11:47):
being trapped inside with food. So the current narrative of
stockpiling and food scarcity can absolutely be triggering, and it's
gonna teach us a new habit. It's going to cause
a new way of life after us, I absolutely believe.
I agree, um, And if you think about things like
planning out two weeks worth of groceries or delivery, and

(12:08):
feeling an anxiety around that, you might just decide to
do without. If you're safe food like fresh produce, they
aren't available, you might not get that much. Um. Talking
about food scarcity can lead to calorie restriction. If you're
afraid that if you don't wash your food well enough
you'll get coronavirus, you might not eat it. If you
can't go outside or to the gym to work out,

(12:30):
you might skip food, especially if you live alone. It's
easy to hide your struggles with food you're eating disorder.
But on the flip side, some for some a trigger
might be eating in front of people, and if you're
quarantined with someone, uh, that can be hard to avoid
as well. And on the flip flip side, hoarding and
feelings of restriction can lead to bending. So there's all

(12:51):
of this stuff going on. UM And I know I've
spoken about it before on the show, but I haven't
eating disorder. And one of my resolutions this year it
was to eat more, was like nope. So this has
been a real test um as a lot of you know,
I hate having food around, snacks around, that's definitely something

(13:12):
that's striggering for me. And now the mandate is to
get enough groceries for two weeks. And if I'm honest,
the only reason I've been able to stick to that
is stress drinking to deal with all the anxieties. So
I have to go for more wine. If I didn't
have to go for that, I don't know that I
would go UM. And that's bad, and I know it's bad,
and I like cooking, and since I'm attracted inside extrovert,

(13:34):
that has been one of my releases, one of my saviors.
But it has legitimately frightened me over these past few
weeks of how poorly I care about my body UM,
and how of course you're not going to go to
the doctor because you don't want to get COVID. So yeah,
and I had to give up running UM. And that
was a coping mechanism as well, and it was one

(13:56):
that I abused, but it was a coping mechanism. And
I used to eat out with people and that was
a way of getting myself to eat UM. But I
can't go out anymore. So I see, it's just like
this culmination of all of these things UM that we
need to keep in mind for people struggling with right
and and those who on the flip side. UM. I

(14:18):
has stopped counting calories as well, because that's something I
get obsessive about and I oddly get under the cloric intake,
and obviously that's not helpful as well. But for someone
who is here and I have been able to maintain
as an introvert that yes, I have a lot of anxiety,
but I'm not that level of I need people. I

(14:38):
need people UM. And I also have a partner who
lives pretty much with me as well, so that's a
different thing. And all of that to say is what
are the two us? Two questions I always ask any
when I see her is have you been sleeping? What
have you been eating? And and like I'm not her mother,
and I know people are the only ones that ask,

(14:59):
but it's important to also check um because this is
a really odd time. And I also know, and I'm
sure many people know, whether or not they won't acknowledge it,
that there are some habits that are really unhealthy that
can't be shaken. So you can't just be like I'm done,
I'm good, it's cool, um and it sounds healthy on
one perspective, but it's not always. And just to be

(15:22):
very aware, this is the time when you have to
start caring for your own body, but also start caring
about everybody else too. It's a whole in it together thing. Um.
So just to put that out there. Um. And again,
eating disorders up your risk when it comes to catching
COVID nineteen as well. Um. There are virtual support groups

(15:43):
springing up, which is amazing, and virtual therapy if you
have access to it, and I know, I believe I
don't know if most our podcasts, but I know several
other podcasts had headspace and different things like that that
allow for you to do texting or online therapy. Annie
and I both at um hours on video. That was

(16:03):
always our way and it's actually it was really comforting
for me to be able to be in my own
home to have this therapy session. And again this may
not be something that you have access to you have
money for. It got expensive from me and I had
to stop as well. But again, like there are things
out there that are virtual support groups, there are books

(16:25):
or online online literature that can help you as well
that oftentimes link you with a group of people who
may be in that same boat. That's really important and
you can find this as well. And if you are
dealing with emotional eating, there are some tips that we found.
One be conscientious about how you're feeling outside of food.
So even if it's one minute, if you can only

(16:46):
take one minute, just touch base. Why is it I
feel like I need to eat? What is going on? Um?
Try to pin down your triggers internally and externally. Be
conscious about when and what you eat. Not in an
unhealthy way, but just like, huh, I've noticed whenever I
watched the news, suddenly I'm stacking, you know, maybe think
about that, um, And then if that is the case,

(17:08):
avoid triggering material and get support from your social group.
Be kind to yourself and allow each moment to be
a new a new moment. Don't beat yourself up over it.
Remind yourself of the progress you've made. Try to push
back on the whole good foods, bad foods things, because
I read for a lot of people shelf sable foods
are bad and you won't eat them, but that might
be the only thing that's available and your body is

(17:29):
resilient and food we need And I know this has
been a conversation for many people and many of society
that oftentimes junk food is cheaper, and so for those
whose level of ecosostinomic support is not that great, they
cling to these types of food because that's what's accessible.
And again, this is kind of that conversation of what

(17:50):
is our society, what is our people's what is our
government allowing? And saying is who is deserving of the
good food? Um? And I know it just finally took
until maybe five ten years ago where food stamps and
or the EBT cars were accessible for farmers markets, which
are amazing and should be more programs like that, because

(18:10):
just because you have more money doesn't mean you deserve
to be healthier, which is an absurdity. But again, recognize
that sometimes that's what you have and that's what you
have to do. Um And as best you can through
all of this, try to establish or stick to a
healthy routine. Again, don't stress yourself if you don't have one,
it's okay. There are also ways to try to stick

(18:30):
to your routine, whether it's getting groceries delivered more on
a schedule you're used to, or getting delivery from restaurants
you trust. Again, if you can't afford that that's okay.
I know right now, Um, delivery for groceries are at
a long wait, mainly because these are essential workers who
are not being cared for, and we should also have
that conversation. UM, but make sure that if you have

(18:54):
accessibility a go ahead and do it. Be make sure
you're appreciative of what you have and what you can do,
and that should always be in the back of your mind.
That's the point that it kind of gives you more anxiety,
but for sure an understanding that if you are able
to do this, and if you're able to acquire this
at home, the people who are giving that or bringing
it to you deserve deserve to be tipped. Well, yes, absolutely, yes, Um.

(19:19):
Journaling is something I saw come up a lot. Keeping
regular sleep hours is very important. You can have face
time dinners. You can still have dinners virtually together. And
while we focus a lot on the bad of this,
for some people it is it might be a chance
to push boundaries for your healing. Maybe I'll get used
to having food around as it becomes more and more normal.

(19:40):
I'm certainly trying. But yeah, through all this, just don't
be too hard on yourself, take care of yourself and
take care of each other. And just remember this new
norm is not normal, and if it's not something that
used to do, it's okay. And listen to your own body.

(20:03):
Listen to your own anxieties and emotions. Those are really important.
No one can dictate how to do it in the book.
No one can tell you exactly how to do it.
As an outline, you have to listen to yourself. Yes,
and if this is something you're struggling with the United States,
you can call the National Eating Disorders Association helpline at

(20:24):
eight hundred nine three one two to three seven UM
and you can always reach out to us as well.
We would love to hear from you. Our email is
Stuff Media, Mom Stuff at iHeart media dot com. You
can find us on Instagram at stuff Mom Never Told
You or on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as
always to your super producer Andrew Howard, and thanks to

(20:45):
you for listening. Stuff I've Never Told You's a protection
of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,
check out the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
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Anney Reese

Anney Reese

Samantha McVey

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