August 31, 2020 • 14 mins
With school starting back in many places, Anney and Samantha dig into new numbers around women, homeschooling, and working with children during a pandemic, as well as the implications of lack of access to contraceptives.
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Steph.
I never told you protection of I heart Radio. Oh
the big question? Oh yeah, do it like how you're
(00:26):
like bored of this now? Uh? You know, let's just
do a simple Uh. How is your quarantine going? How
is my quarantine going? Uh? It is okay, I think
because we are in an area that's really highly infected
and continues used to go up, and we don't have
(00:49):
very good regulation on it. I'm a little weary right
now because there's no end in sight. It's uh, and
you know, you just experienced your birthday during quarantine is
coming up soon, and I have no doubt We're not
gonna be going anywhere any soon. My parents fifty in
(01:11):
the verse, Yes, coming up. So it's just kind of
everything is very limited, and everything is kind of like, oh,
can someone just get it together please? So I would
say today is the wrong day to asked me that.
But the good news is the good news is that
I was I'm thinking of a good news. Peaches and
(01:34):
I are still okay. We have plenty of good things
and we are healthy. How about you? How are you doing?
I'm doing okay. I I feel like everybody has their
ups and downs during this. Um I do. I will say,
I suspect I will have two birthdays in quarantine. UM
(01:56):
I think right around this time next year, maybe we'll
be getting out, but maybe not. Um it's odd, I think.
I know we all joke about it, but the the
way time has become so strange to me. I'm both
shocked that it's my birthday and like I feel like
it should have been years and years, like you know
(02:18):
what I mean. Like it feels like I can't believe
it's August, right, but also it feels like it should
be March of next year, right, So September is coming
up on us, which is a whole different conversation because
I know between the fact that there's no assistance for
people who are who are struggling, yeah, during the pandemic
and during the quarantine. Uh student alone. Forgiveness is about
(02:41):
to be up, not forgiveness, but the suspension is about
to be up, so people are having to delve back
into that. So it's a whole different thing to me
that time has passed so quickly but at the same
time so slowly, and I'm always confused. That's my new
state of being yeah, yeah, and I definitely want to
come back, can return to because we did productivity at
(03:02):
the beginning, and I want to come back and do
it just because I have new thoughts and I think
a lot of us do um new thoughts and experiences
on it. And so yesterday here in the US, it
was a moment to stay because it was my birthday,
but also because it was back to school for a
lot of places and UM already a lot of places
(03:23):
use Zoom for classrooms, and Zoom went out yesterday and
there's this conversation of like, well, okay, what are we
going to do? And this is why any uses Skype. Yes,
not a sponsor. I just have strong opinions about it,
and they come up with every guest because every guest
is like what haven't you skype in twenty years? It's
(03:46):
like a throwback. They're like, wow, the only person I'm like, yeah, yeah,
probably yeah, we are we are professionals. We Zoom does
not granted as bequeath us with a forty five minute
plus speaking time. Yeah, and when we have guests, we
just like to talk to them forever and never and never,
well you don't want unless there's a heart out you
don't want that hanging over your head. Um. But okay,
(04:08):
so yeah, this was something else we wanted to revisit
because we also towards the beginning of pandemic we talked
about how it is impacting women specifically, and now we
have some numbers, um, some more statistics. So especially now
as we're we're talking about kids going back to school
and what that that looks like for women. One in
five Americans have lost their jobs during the pandemic because
(04:31):
of child care. Concerns are loss of option, and specifically,
more and more women are having to give up their
jobs or go part time. Women are almost three times
likelier than men to do that. Um. There's also been
a drop in academic papers committed by women, which we
did mention in the previous episode, and we all lose
out from that, We all lose out on their scientific contributions.
(04:51):
Some women have started pulling essentially all nighters, maybe three
to four times a week to get their work done
and care for their children. And I was reading account
from these women and it it's just it's unsustainable. That
is unsustainable. Like you said, Smith, if we had an
end in sight, that would be one thing, it would
still be miserable, but there is no end in sight,
(05:14):
UM and I just the toll that takes physically and
emotionally and mentally. A recent study of three thousand people
found that women spent an average fifteen hours more a
week on unpaid labor as compared to men in the
United States. All study out of Australia found that in
households with children, parents are putting in an extra six
hours a day um towards childcare, with over two thirds
(05:35):
of that falling to women. Another study out of the
US found that one third of employed women reported having
to do a majority of the childcare during COVID, compared
to only seven percent of employed men, and this holds
true across all wage brackets in the UK. As Surti.
The found that women were twice as likely to do
the home schooling and that they were considerably likelier in
(05:57):
the article's terms, to give up their jobs as compared
to men with children at the same age. It's been
really interesting just to watch Twitter and any of social
media with people talking and having conversations about how many
women are coming in just trying to vent their frustrations,
but at the same time seem like a good mom,
you know, trying to play that character. So it's just
(06:19):
such a weird psychotomy to see. And I've seen definitely
men come up and and talk about it, but it
seems a lot of that isn't concerned to their wife
or their partner, who if we're talking about a head
of sexual couple, that's what we're talking about that it's
not necessarily they're complaining because they're like, oh, I have
to do all these things. Is oh my wife is
having to do all these things and she's having to
(06:39):
quit her job, and it's kind of like, you don't
find something wrong with Okay, but back to so the
headline from Boston dot Com on their findings reads, nearly
half of men say they do most of the home schooling,
and three percent of women agree. Any percent of women
say they're fully are mostly responsible for schooling during the lockdown,
and we've definitely talked about that many of times UM
(07:03):
And interestingly, some surveys are finding that upboards of two
thirds of men have reported wanting to work from home
even after the pandemic, with quote increased family time UM
being their number one reason. And some women have reported
that if businesses do allow for flexibility and remote working opportunities.
In the long run, it could be a real benefit
(07:23):
for women. So that's interesting. And I know that we've
had this back and forth because the conversation of many
of times has been I can't I just do this
at home? Yeah, And that's kind of like, well, we've
proven you can. Yeah yeah. Uh And and that's one
of the things I love about our job, Samantha, is
that flexibility. Um, I so important to me. And I
(07:46):
don't have children. I don't really have any responsibility other
than making sure and caring for myself. That's a responsibility.
It is it is, um. But yeah, that's one of
the if we're trying to still aligning it. That's what
a lot of people are saying. Also, interestingly, apparently there's
been I guess sort of similar to what you're saying,
(08:07):
is man, that there's been an argument lobbed at women. Um,
mother's that's basically like, you should be enjoying the quality
time with your kid or something is wrong with you
a k. You should want to stay home, You should
stay home with the kids, that you should like it, um,
which I had it again, I don't have children. This
doesn't surprise me. When I read it, but I hadn't
(08:28):
really thought. I mean, this is a whole new form
of mom shaming, which I've talked about as coming back
to an episode soon about what is this level of
need to be the perfect mother not even like and
then what does that mean? It does this a completely
different notion to what being a perfect father is and
then having a pandemic we're also responsible in their all
(08:52):
the day entertainment slash education. Yeah, no, it's definitely mom shaming,
just to the nth degree. I also did read it
from a lot of these surveys they cited. I can't
remember the survey, but there's been a couple of studies
that have shown that um, women consistently under report, uh,
the amount of work they do, and men consistently overreported,
(09:15):
and there's sort of this mismatch. And I mean we've
talked about that all the time that you know, if
a mom is a little frazzled one day and so
is that I mean just fifteen minutes in closet, she's
a bad mom. But if a dad is like, oh
today I sat with my child for fifteen and its like, well,
look what good dad? But I do think that's changing.
And UM, I do find that survey that report that
(09:38):
men two thirds of men say they would like to
spend more time at home, working at home for family time,
I find very fascinating. Um, So well, we'll see how
that plays out. Also part of this conversation, despite being
afraid for the safety other kids in themselves, some women
don't have a choice but to send their kids back
to school. They have to work, and it's impossible to
(09:58):
work from home for one reason or another. And I
think something we've brought up, you know, a lack of
internet and how big of a problem that is. But
also just supplies in general. Um, if you have that,
if you're fortunate enough to have a little bit of
leeway in your budget and you could just go and
get you know, markers or whatever they might be. But
(10:19):
not everyone has that. Um. And it's the same thing
with especially when we look at essential workers. So we
look at it as as well. Have a conversation about
essential workers or domestic workers. They don't have the option
to stay at home. That's a lot of thing. And
and because of that, if they do have children, they
have to have educations and if they're not being offered
to have it at the house. So this is a
(10:40):
conflict of trying and we've talked about it before, trying
to keep people safe, but at the same time, what
is feasible and what isn't. Yeah, and I've been serving
my friends who have kids about what are they doing,
and um, a lot of people around here are doing
a pod system and yeah, but you have to pay
(11:00):
more for that, And I was like, what, really, You're okay.
It's kind of the same thing with like PP even
for the classrooms. Just we know, we've heard the many
stories of teachers having to buy their own supplies. Now
add to that sanitizers, masks and all of that and
they're having to bring it themselves. Mm hmm. Yeah. And
(11:24):
these are just tough conversations. And since we don't have
an end insight, and since a lot of these things
are ending, the stress is just gonna compound. So I'm
sure we'll have will be revisiting this again soon. Uh.
Something else I found that I wanted to mention that
will definitely be revisiting, probably when there are more numbers. Um.
(11:44):
So another issue we're starting to get this data on
is unintended pregnancies resulting from lack of access to reproductive
health services and contraception. During this pandemic, according to the
U N Population Fund, we might see upwards of seven
to fifteen million unintended pregnancies around the world and thousands
of deaths from unsafe abortions and complications during birth. It's
(12:07):
estimated that in India alone, twenty six million couples cannot
access contraception, potentially leading to two to three million unintended
pregnancies and eight hundred thousand unsafe abortions. Right, And I
think that's a bigger conversation we've had, and we've seen
the fights play out right now with access to reproduct
reproductive healthcare and why that the conservative idea is to
(12:33):
kind of pounce on that was right right now when
it could be when to see like the most worst
timing ever. But yeah, that's a whole different conversation and
a bigger episode we'll have to come back to. So
the United Nations have warned that this pandemic could lead
to decades of regression when it comes to gender equality,
and that breaks my heart so hard. It's just I
(12:56):
cannot believe this is where we are and the constant,
we actionary response that we're having from our leadership is
not helping, not helping, and this is such an awful,
awful place to be to be in a bad situation
and then compound it with bad policies. Yeah, and and
you can if you if you're really looking for downer. Uh.
(13:21):
There are a lot of numbers out there about the
economic loss as well, and it's it can be depending
on where you read it. I mean you're looking at
like trillions loss, women losing trillions, um, so's it's substantial.
And um, these are just really difficult conversations that people
(13:42):
are having to have and we would love to hear
from listeners how you're handling things. How's back to school
going for for your kids if you have them, or
if you're going back to school? Um, And you can
email us at Stuff Media, mom Stuff at iHeart media
dot com. You can also find us on Twitter at
mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram and Stuff I've Never
Told You. Thanks. It's always to our super producers Andrew
(14:03):
Howard and J. J. Pasway. Super thanks and thanks to
you for listening. Stephan I've Never Told You. Protection of
iHeart Radio For more podcast from Iheartradiovi is the iHeart
Radio app Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Steph.
I never told you protection of I heart Radio. Oh
the big question? Oh yeah, do it like how you're
(00:26):
like bored of this now? Uh? You know, let's just
do a simple Uh. How is your quarantine going? How
is my quarantine going? Uh? It is okay, I think
because we are in an area that's really highly infected
and continues used to go up, and we don't have
(00:49):
very good regulation on it. I'm a little weary right
now because there's no end in sight. It's uh, and
you know, you just experienced your birthday during quarantine is
coming up soon, and I have no doubt We're not
gonna be going anywhere any soon. My parents fifty in
(01:11):
the verse, Yes, coming up. So it's just kind of
everything is very limited, and everything is kind of like, oh,
can someone just get it together please? So I would
say today is the wrong day to asked me that.
But the good news is the good news is that
I was I'm thinking of a good news. Peaches and
(01:34):
I are still okay. We have plenty of good things
and we are healthy. How about you? How are you doing?
I'm doing okay. I I feel like everybody has their
ups and downs during this. Um I do. I will say,
I suspect I will have two birthdays in quarantine. UM
(01:56):
I think right around this time next year, maybe we'll
be getting out, but maybe not. Um it's odd, I think.
I know we all joke about it, but the the
way time has become so strange to me. I'm both
shocked that it's my birthday and like I feel like
it should have been years and years, like you know
(02:18):
what I mean. Like it feels like I can't believe
it's August, right, but also it feels like it should
be March of next year, right, So September is coming
up on us, which is a whole different conversation because
I know between the fact that there's no assistance for
people who are who are struggling, yeah, during the pandemic
and during the quarantine. Uh student alone. Forgiveness is about
(02:41):
to be up, not forgiveness, but the suspension is about
to be up, so people are having to delve back
into that. So it's a whole different thing to me
that time has passed so quickly but at the same
time so slowly, and I'm always confused. That's my new
state of being yeah, yeah, and I definitely want to
come back, can return to because we did productivity at
(03:02):
the beginning, and I want to come back and do
it just because I have new thoughts and I think
a lot of us do um new thoughts and experiences
on it. And so yesterday here in the US, it
was a moment to stay because it was my birthday,
but also because it was back to school for a
lot of places and UM already a lot of places
(03:23):
use Zoom for classrooms, and Zoom went out yesterday and
there's this conversation of like, well, okay, what are we
going to do? And this is why any uses Skype. Yes,
not a sponsor. I just have strong opinions about it,
and they come up with every guest because every guest
is like what haven't you skype in twenty years? It's
(03:46):
like a throwback. They're like, wow, the only person I'm like, yeah, yeah,
probably yeah, we are we are professionals. We Zoom does
not granted as bequeath us with a forty five minute
plus speaking time. Yeah, and when we have guests, we
just like to talk to them forever and never and never,
well you don't want unless there's a heart out you
don't want that hanging over your head. Um. But okay,
(04:08):
so yeah, this was something else we wanted to revisit
because we also towards the beginning of pandemic we talked
about how it is impacting women specifically, and now we
have some numbers, um, some more statistics. So especially now
as we're we're talking about kids going back to school
and what that that looks like for women. One in
five Americans have lost their jobs during the pandemic because
(04:31):
of child care. Concerns are loss of option, and specifically,
more and more women are having to give up their
jobs or go part time. Women are almost three times
likelier than men to do that. Um. There's also been
a drop in academic papers committed by women, which we
did mention in the previous episode, and we all lose
out from that, We all lose out on their scientific contributions.
(04:51):
Some women have started pulling essentially all nighters, maybe three
to four times a week to get their work done
and care for their children. And I was reading account
from these women and it it's just it's unsustainable. That
is unsustainable. Like you said, Smith, if we had an
end in sight, that would be one thing, it would
still be miserable, but there is no end in sight,
(05:14):
UM and I just the toll that takes physically and
emotionally and mentally. A recent study of three thousand people
found that women spent an average fifteen hours more a
week on unpaid labor as compared to men in the
United States. All study out of Australia found that in
households with children, parents are putting in an extra six
hours a day um towards childcare, with over two thirds
(05:35):
of that falling to women. Another study out of the
US found that one third of employed women reported having
to do a majority of the childcare during COVID, compared
to only seven percent of employed men, and this holds
true across all wage brackets in the UK. As Surti.
The found that women were twice as likely to do
the home schooling and that they were considerably likelier in
(05:57):
the article's terms, to give up their jobs as compared
to men with children at the same age. It's been
really interesting just to watch Twitter and any of social
media with people talking and having conversations about how many
women are coming in just trying to vent their frustrations,
but at the same time seem like a good mom,
you know, trying to play that character. So it's just
(06:19):
such a weird psychotomy to see. And I've seen definitely
men come up and and talk about it, but it
seems a lot of that isn't concerned to their wife
or their partner, who if we're talking about a head
of sexual couple, that's what we're talking about that it's
not necessarily they're complaining because they're like, oh, I have
to do all these things. Is oh my wife is
having to do all these things and she's having to
(06:39):
quit her job, and it's kind of like, you don't
find something wrong with Okay, but back to so the
headline from Boston dot Com on their findings reads, nearly
half of men say they do most of the home schooling,
and three percent of women agree. Any percent of women
say they're fully are mostly responsible for schooling during the lockdown,
and we've definitely talked about that many of times UM
(07:03):
And interestingly, some surveys are finding that upboards of two
thirds of men have reported wanting to work from home
even after the pandemic, with quote increased family time UM
being their number one reason. And some women have reported
that if businesses do allow for flexibility and remote working opportunities.
In the long run, it could be a real benefit
(07:23):
for women. So that's interesting. And I know that we've
had this back and forth because the conversation of many
of times has been I can't I just do this
at home? Yeah, And that's kind of like, well, we've
proven you can. Yeah yeah. Uh And and that's one
of the things I love about our job, Samantha, is
that flexibility. Um, I so important to me. And I
(07:46):
don't have children. I don't really have any responsibility other
than making sure and caring for myself. That's a responsibility.
It is it is, um. But yeah, that's one of
the if we're trying to still aligning it. That's what
a lot of people are saying. Also, interestingly, apparently there's
been I guess sort of similar to what you're saying,
(08:07):
is man, that there's been an argument lobbed at women. Um,
mother's that's basically like, you should be enjoying the quality
time with your kid or something is wrong with you
a k. You should want to stay home, You should
stay home with the kids, that you should like it, um,
which I had it again, I don't have children. This
doesn't surprise me. When I read it, but I hadn't
(08:28):
really thought. I mean, this is a whole new form
of mom shaming, which I've talked about as coming back
to an episode soon about what is this level of
need to be the perfect mother not even like and
then what does that mean? It does this a completely
different notion to what being a perfect father is and
then having a pandemic we're also responsible in their all
(08:52):
the day entertainment slash education. Yeah, no, it's definitely mom shaming,
just to the nth degree. I also did read it
from a lot of these surveys they cited. I can't
remember the survey, but there's been a couple of studies
that have shown that um, women consistently under report, uh,
the amount of work they do, and men consistently overreported,
(09:15):
and there's sort of this mismatch. And I mean we've
talked about that all the time that you know, if
a mom is a little frazzled one day and so
is that I mean just fifteen minutes in closet, she's
a bad mom. But if a dad is like, oh
today I sat with my child for fifteen and its like, well,
look what good dad? But I do think that's changing.
And UM, I do find that survey that report that
(09:38):
men two thirds of men say they would like to
spend more time at home, working at home for family time,
I find very fascinating. Um, So well, we'll see how
that plays out. Also part of this conversation, despite being
afraid for the safety other kids in themselves, some women
don't have a choice but to send their kids back
to school. They have to work, and it's impossible to
(09:58):
work from home for one reason or another. And I
think something we've brought up, you know, a lack of
internet and how big of a problem that is. But
also just supplies in general. Um, if you have that,
if you're fortunate enough to have a little bit of
leeway in your budget and you could just go and
get you know, markers or whatever they might be. But
(10:19):
not everyone has that. Um. And it's the same thing
with especially when we look at essential workers. So we
look at it as as well. Have a conversation about
essential workers or domestic workers. They don't have the option
to stay at home. That's a lot of thing. And
and because of that, if they do have children, they
have to have educations and if they're not being offered
to have it at the house. So this is a
(10:40):
conflict of trying and we've talked about it before, trying
to keep people safe, but at the same time, what
is feasible and what isn't. Yeah, and I've been serving
my friends who have kids about what are they doing,
and um, a lot of people around here are doing
a pod system and yeah, but you have to pay
(11:00):
more for that, And I was like, what, really, You're okay.
It's kind of the same thing with like PP even
for the classrooms. Just we know, we've heard the many
stories of teachers having to buy their own supplies. Now
add to that sanitizers, masks and all of that and
they're having to bring it themselves. Mm hmm. Yeah. And
(11:24):
these are just tough conversations. And since we don't have
an end insight, and since a lot of these things
are ending, the stress is just gonna compound. So I'm
sure we'll have will be revisiting this again soon. Uh.
Something else I found that I wanted to mention that
will definitely be revisiting, probably when there are more numbers. Um.
(11:44):
So another issue we're starting to get this data on
is unintended pregnancies resulting from lack of access to reproductive
health services and contraception. During this pandemic, according to the
U N Population Fund, we might see upwards of seven
to fifteen million unintended pregnancies around the world and thousands
of deaths from unsafe abortions and complications during birth. It's
(12:07):
estimated that in India alone, twenty six million couples cannot
access contraception, potentially leading to two to three million unintended
pregnancies and eight hundred thousand unsafe abortions. Right, And I
think that's a bigger conversation we've had, and we've seen
the fights play out right now with access to reproduct
reproductive healthcare and why that the conservative idea is to
(12:33):
kind of pounce on that was right right now when
it could be when to see like the most worst
timing ever. But yeah, that's a whole different conversation and
a bigger episode we'll have to come back to. So
the United Nations have warned that this pandemic could lead
to decades of regression when it comes to gender equality,
and that breaks my heart so hard. It's just I
(12:56):
cannot believe this is where we are and the constant,
we actionary response that we're having from our leadership is
not helping, not helping, and this is such an awful,
awful place to be to be in a bad situation
and then compound it with bad policies. Yeah, and and
you can if you if you're really looking for downer. Uh.
(13:21):
There are a lot of numbers out there about the
economic loss as well, and it's it can be depending
on where you read it. I mean you're looking at
like trillions loss, women losing trillions, um, so's it's substantial.
And um, these are just really difficult conversations that people
(13:42):
are having to have and we would love to hear
from listeners how you're handling things. How's back to school
going for for your kids if you have them, or
if you're going back to school? Um, And you can
email us at Stuff Media, mom Stuff at iHeart media
dot com. You can also find us on Twitter at
mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram and Stuff I've Never
Told You. Thanks. It's always to our super producers Andrew
(14:03):
Howard and J. J. Pasway. Super thanks and thanks to
you for listening. Stephan I've Never Told You. Protection of
iHeart Radio For more podcast from Iheartradiovi is the iHeart
Radio app Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.
Stuff Mom Never Told You News
Hosts And Creators
Anney Reese
Samantha McVey
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.