All Episodes

May 27, 2013 • 33 mins

Dorothy Parker once wrote that "men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses." Cristen and Caroline explore why so many negative stereotypes are attached to women wearing glasses and whether we have hipsters to thank for making glasses cool.

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to stuff Mom Never told you From house top
works dot com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm
Kristen and I'm Caroline. And Caroline, let's go ahead and
disclose that you and I are both high glass doors
and I am seriously nearsighted, barely see two inches in

(00:28):
front of my face. I usually wear contacts. Recently got
my glasses back with my new prescription from the eye doctor.
I'm digging it. I was so excited I warned to
work the other day because I'm so excited to get
them back. What kind of frames are they? They are
there thin like with wise Obviously that's what Finn means
um because of my faith shape because if I wear

(00:49):
glasses that are too big, I end up looking ridiculous,
and then they kind of get bigger towards the edges,
not a full cati, because they're more rectangular. I'm giving
you a really long description. Sum it up by saying
they're rectangular ish almost cat I maroon colored. I like
that description. I have thick rimmed black glasses and they

(01:13):
are Gucci brand and they are the only designer thing
that I own. But people are but I like I
like it. When when people say what brand of those?
And I say that Gucci. The people really ask you
what brand of glasses? Well, it's it has a little
like a gold label on them, because it's flashy like that.

(01:34):
But it's like you exactly, But I do take relish
and in saying impatiently that Gucci and then brushing past them,
even if you don't have to go anywhere exactly I'm
in an elevator, it gets awkward. But a listener wrote
us recently saying, hey, ladies, question, what's up with gender

(01:55):
stereotypes and glasses? Is it just me? Or does it
seem like women with glasses get a whole bunch of
negativity and judgment sent their way? And I thought to myself, well,
that's a fascinating question. Well, I you know, when I
read it, I I my first instinct was really because,

(02:18):
I mean, I realized that there are stereotypes of people
in general with glasses. But I had never really thought
because I am a glasses ware and no one's ever
like hit me in the face or something, or like
spit on my shoes, I've never really thought, well, people
think of women in glasses differently than they think of
men and glasses. I just thought, well, everybody thinks we're

(02:38):
all just nerds. Yeah, and I do think that the
the glass of stereotypes in general have eased as glasses
have become cool and hipster. And we have Warby Parker
largely to thank for that. They should sponsor this episode. Actually, well,
and you know, I have friends who wear just like plastic.
You know, they're not real glasses, just just for the
trendiness as a accessory. Um. But in our episode on

(03:04):
magical makeovers that just came out, we talked about how
one of the main ingredients of a magical makeover in
movies is the removal and snapping of glasses. It signifies
a lot. Glasses are loaded, people, glasses are loaded. Um well, first,
let's start with a very brief historical side note that

(03:26):
glasses were invented sometime between twelve sixty eight and twelve
eighty nine in Italy, but nobody knows for sure who
it was. Yeah, it's really clear exactly who, what, when, where,
or why. Well I guess we know why. But it's
to see better, probably probably to see better. Um, there
are probably no original hipsters back then, just wearing them

(03:47):
for kicks anyway. Um, But glasses are really a phenomenon
of the late nineteenth and early twentie centuries, according to
Carrie Seagrove, who wrote Vision Aids in America, A Social
History of Eyewear and Sight Correction since ninety hundred. Segrave rites,
But glasses were mentioned in an eleventh century Arabic text.
They were mentioned by Englishman Roger Bacon, and in four

(04:08):
spectacle makers were mentioned in Nuremberg. And there's a passage
in one of Walter Scott's pieces that mentions a lord
Calvert with spectacles on his nose, with the remark that
the invention was recent. So there's like all this conjecture
about when glasses came about, and before glasses were made
of glass, the earliest frames were usually made from quartz

(04:29):
and then were set into bone, metal or leather, which
I feel like would be some kind of Portland kit
of some artisan eyeglass makers bringing back some some bone
eyeglass frames. Absolutely, I digress um. So just to give
you an idea though, of how glasses in general alter

(04:52):
people's perceptions of both men and women alike, we found
a study called Stereotypes in reach know print advertising the
effects of gender and physical Appearance on Consumer Perceptions that
was published in December two thousand one, and they talk
a lot about how models who wear glasses or don't

(05:12):
wear glasses will change people's perceptions of masculinity or femininity, intelligence, attractiveness,
and the study author Charlotte Allen, sites studies from sixty
eight and seventy one that suggests that people who wear
glasses are perceived as more intelligent and industrious than people

(05:34):
who don't wear glasses. It also has effects on social
things too. There was a study from researcher Roger Terry
that found glasses were associated with attributes of diminished social
forcefulness but heightened competence. So you're kind of lame and shy,
but thank god you're highly alert and competent. And let's

(05:58):
now get down to the attractiveness factor, because this leads
directly into that listeners question of gendered stereotypes, especially for
women who wear glasses. There's study which found that women
and men wearing glasses we're seen as more feminine and masculine, respectively. However,

(06:20):
a lot of times this study and others have found
that women who wear glasses are rated as a less attractive,
more so than men. Who wear glasses. Yeah, women are
really getting the short end of the stick as far
as glasses stereotypes go, apparently, and this image, this, there's
a strong image that still exists in our culture in

(06:41):
which a woman who wears glasses is automatically downgraded, like
that's that's a very strong stereotype. But these bookish stereotypes
go way back. Laura Brandt's thesis for the College of
William and Mary talks a little bit about the history
of these stereotypes, and she introduces her thesis by talking
about uh. Elizabeth Payson Prentice, who in September eighteen forty

(07:05):
wrote a letter to a friend worried that because her
sister wore glasses, a guy she liked thought that she
too was a blue stalking, which is a derogatory term
or referring to a dangerously literary female, which to me
sounds awesome. But she was like thinking that this love
interest of hers, you know, she's twenty two years old.
She's like, this guy is gonna think I'm a nerd too.

(07:27):
Oh man. Well, in n six, Dorothy Parker did not
help things at all because she wrote this poem called
news Item, from which we get the phrase that is
often repeated and kind of mangled today, but the original goes,
men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses. A
lot of times it's misquoted as men never make passes,

(07:49):
but just seldom every now and then, well we'll catch
a break. But yeah, Dorothy Parker, come on, lady, help
a gal out, because in that fear of being, you know,
ending up in Spinsterville because you don't have perfect vision
was so alive and well, well, it's it's strange to

(08:12):
read some of the perspectives on early glasses wearing women
because they're they're terrible people have like this terrible image
of women in glasses, and not only from like a
judge perspective, but also from like a ah, you poor thing. Um.
In eight there was this Saturday Evening Post article by J. C.

(08:33):
Furnace who wrote, as for glasses, the average smart woman
would almost rather shave her head or wear high laced
boots to a dance than put on spectacles for permanent
wear and public as well. I mean, it was a
genuine fear among parents, sisters apparently, uh and women who
were born with imperfect eyesight who needed vision correction that

(08:57):
glasses were pretty much a Roman to death sentence because
a lot of this is framed in terms of women
who wear glasses scare men away from making passes, right,
And I just wonder, like sidebar, I kind of just
wonder what it is about women wearing glasses back then
that's carried on to today that that is so awful.

(09:17):
Like I know, it's associated with like a spinster stereotype
and old women wearing glasses and things like that, But
I wonder if that goes back to some historical thing
of like, not a lot of people used to read.
There was not compulsory education, So I wonder if it
was like a people who wore glasses were men who
were in charge of government things that. You know, I'm like,
I'm giving you such a wishy washy hypothesis, but well,

(09:41):
I am a feeling that, at least in more contemporary times,
that the thought of the association of glasses with learning
and intelligence would be a negative thing for women, because
it would be an idea that, well, this is a
woman who's more interested in books than she is keeping
up her appearance and wanting to take care of perhaps

(10:05):
more domestic womanly duties. So you're sort of broadcasting that
you're transgressing social norm Yeah, she's a dangerous blue stocking exactly,
literary female. Look at that literary female. You can read um.
But in the nineteen thirties through the nineteen fifties we
do see a bit of a change towards more acceptance

(10:26):
for women wearing glasses, as they do take more of
a Warby Parker esque turn for being a fashion accessory
that women can actually work with. And this is again
from that book Vision Aids in America by Carrie Segrave.
And in nineteen thirty four, for instance, the American Optical
Company published a booklet of beauty Secrets for women with

(10:49):
glasses to overcome the quote unquote social handicap, and it
included tips on how to pick up flattering glasses, makeup
tips and eyebrow was shaping hints, as well as the
proper selection of hats to go with your glasses. I
wonder what my corresponding hat would be. Well imagine though,

(11:11):
how back then the glasses selection was very limited. And
you know, you and I both tried on glasses frames before,
and it is not easy to find something that actually
does flatter your face shape. When I went and got
my glasses me, and it's been years now. When I
when I got my Gucci frames years ago, I put

(11:32):
on countless frames before I found something that that didn't
make my face look very odd. Well, yeah, I mean,
I guess it's hard for me to judge my own
face shape because I always go for a certain type
of frame, and when I put on my face, I'm like,
oh my god, it looks like a bug eyed, Like
it looks like I've got these huge fly eyes. So
now that's why I've learned that I have to wear

(11:53):
these like skinny, Like my frames are slightly thick, but
I have to wear skinny glasses. But imagine they're walking
into a store in the being like, oh, that's the
only fame we got, so get used to that. I mean,
my brother is thirteen years older, and when he was
a kid, he also had trouble in the visual department,
and he pretty much only had the option of wearing

(12:14):
these like really thick what would now be considered very
trendy glasses, which on him, as a little pale child,
look pretty silly. Well, in the New York Times declared
that girls who wear glasses no longer tried to pretend
that they don't, so if the New York Times prints it,

(12:36):
then it must be true. But that that is a
signal though that slowly a glasses were starting to come
out in a little bit more of a variety and
be that maybe this negative stereotype was lessing. And at
the same time, Hollywood starlets were starting to be not
only filmed every now and then with their character wearing

(12:58):
glasses and more accessory kind of way, perhaps if they
were reading, lounging and reading um and they were also
studio shots of starlett's wearing glasses every now and then.
There's why I forget what movie it was, but there
are some films with, for instance, Marilyn Monroe wearing glasses,
and of course she would probably take them off before

(13:21):
she attracted the leading men. But nevertheless part of the makeover.
But it's part of the normalization though of actually like
seeing them on attractive and famous women. I mean to me,
reading all of this background in history, is it seems
very melodramatic. I mean to me, is somebody in a
modern era who wears glasses? I'm like, well, why are
these people freaking alice so much? But it was really

(13:43):
like it was really against the grain. Well, think about it,
when you're one career aspiration that's really viable is to
become a wife and a mother, and all of a
sudden you have to wear glasses, which apparently, you know,
kicks you out of that game. It would be devastating. Um.

(14:04):
And by nineteen fifty three, you know, we see maybe
that the sea change has really taken place in earnest
when journalist Leonora Halpern writes that there was once a time,
not so very long ago, that when when a member
of the female sex considered a minor tragedy if a
visit to the oculist led to the recommendation of glasses.

(14:26):
I remember really wanting glasses. I got glasses in sixth grade.
I did too because I saw a girl who had
pink framed glasses. During that time, when you know, all
of a sudden, those kinds of things seemed very neato. Yeah,
but this was like nineteen ninety six, So I had
those those glasses that are very prevalent in the early

(14:48):
and mid nineties, which were like big and round on
the bottom and flat on the top of their wire rims. Yeah,
I could have been like in a nineties journalism, newspaper,
movie or something that's how I think of them. Should
bring them back. But there's a lot of academic research
out there confirming what we're talking about, which is the
gender stereotypes and perceptions exists around glasses. I mean a lot,

(15:10):
Like I wasn't expecting to find as much as I found.
And one of those studies, for instance, talks about job applicants.
This was a study going way back to and optometry
and vision science that talks about eyeglasses, especially when worn
by the male applicant, we're associated with feminine stereotypes and
positive task relevant attributes. So men who wear eyeglasses maybe

(15:32):
the target of some negative social stereotypes, but they're redeemed
because they're like, well, they're going to get the job done.
But women who wore glasses were more likely to be
the target only of the negative social judgments because you're
woman's you're already feminine, so you only get that negative
social judgment. So even still decades after, you know, women

(15:53):
are saying, oh okay, we we can wear glasses everything,
You'll be fine, but still still stereotypes person. And there's
an interesting height study height and glasses looking at men
in particular and Donald Ellman. This is the N seven
study found that glasses and height effect perception of masculinity.
In particular, students were asked to rate a male student,

(16:15):
and the form told the students that the guy was
either five four or six four and had an attached
photo that showed him either with or without glasses. So
the tall guy was rated as more extroverted and attractive
than the short guy. The glasses guy was rated as softer, gentler,
more sensitive, and more of a follower than no glasses guy.
But when you're both, when you're a dude in the

(16:37):
study and you're both short and spectacle wearing, more feminine
ratings were produced. I wonder why the glasses elicit that
kind of femininity. I guess it's because we do associate
glasses with the bookishness, with being more quiet and introverted
and therefore less masculine. Yeah, and also are going to

(17:00):
be perceived as more honest if you're wearing glasses. Both
both men and women are perceived as more honest when
they're wearing glasses. This is a study from Tony Bartolini,
who found that regular glasses enhanced perceived authority, while sunglasses
reduced it. Women in regular glasses were seen as more
honest than any other intersections. So whether you're wearing sunglasses,

(17:22):
regular glasses or no glasses, and whether you're male or female,
men in sunglasses were perceived to be the least honest
out of all of them. I can get that. Yeah,
you're like, oh, what is he doing behind those glasses? Um?
But Mary Harris researcher Mary Harris did find some conflicting stereotypes.
She had this really big study about, you know, surrounding
glasses and gender, and you know, she confirmed a lot

(17:45):
of the things that we already know. That people wearing
glasses were considered to be less attractive and less sexy,
more intelligent, and more intense. But men considered the typical
woman with glasses as sexier and more attractive than they
did the typical woman without glasses. And the contrast to
the earlier studies that we mentioned talking about femininity, she
found that men with glasses were considered to be more

(18:07):
masculine and women more feminine. So I guess she found
that it strengthened your masculinity or your femininity, depending And
I know I've thrown out a lot of research at you.
But one thing that I want to point out from
Mary Harris's research is that these people that she was
studying were rated according to eighteen traits, both like honesty, attractiveness,

(18:30):
things like that, but also things that they would likely
be doing. And one odd thing that I found is
that of the eighteen traits rated, the only ones that
were statistically significant were that people with glasses were seen
as less attractive and sexy, more likely to go to bars,
and less likely to listen to music and read when
not wearing glasses. When not wearing glasses, Yeah, so if

(18:53):
you're wearing glasses, people assume that you're going to be
reading and listening to music a lot, you know, and
when you're wearing glasses, they think you're gonna go to bars.
Very interesting. I just I just thought that was very odd.
Wanted to bring that up. It's so well, I mean,
all of this is just a case study in the
bizarre associations that we make about people, just based on

(19:15):
something that's not even like physically part of them. And
to make it even a little more complicated, Harris found
that basically in her conclusion of studying all of these
traits and all of these intersections of assumptions about people.
It all just depends. But because um, you know, they're
going to look at a picture of you and they're
gonna say she's a nerd, or she's bookish, or she

(19:36):
reads a lot, or she's timid because she wears glasses.
But if they actually spend more than like twenty minutes
with you, then they don't necessarily see the glasses anymore.
They just see you and hear you talking. So it's
all and how these studies are conducted, because if you
just show a picture, might just be like, yeah, Christens
a nerd, But if you actually if the person actually
sits down with you, they're gonna be like Christians a nerd. Okay,

(19:59):
bad example, But you see what I'm saying, Yeah, well,
I mean and and that is why you know, some
of these studies are are definitely grain of salt. But
one thing in a lot of them that that is
confirmed over and over again, just kind of as a
general point, is that these stereotypes set in at a
very young age. A lot of these studies focused around

(20:23):
asking first graders, say, you know, what do you think
about you know, this person with glasses versus person without glasses?
And even at you know, under ten years old. We
have a thing built in our heads of glasses or
for nerds and frumpy women, and you know, that's that's

(20:43):
the way it is. And there was even um a
study in June in the European Journal of Experimental Psychology
which found that kids internalized this. Kids who wear glasses
internalize these negative stereotypes. And they found it while wearing
glasses doesn't necessarily undercut a child's global self esteem, it
does tend to negatively impact their self perception of physical appearance.

(21:06):
They don't think that they look as cool with glasses on.
Even though side note, I find children who wear glasses adorable.
They are because those glasses are very small. My yeah,
my baby cousin wears glasses and he's the cutest. But
little girls, I mean, just like women, little girls get
the short end of the stick. To a May two
thousand eight study called Children's Attitudes about Kids and Eyeglasses

(21:29):
That's straightforward, very straightforward, found that athletic boys wearing glasses
were more positively received than athletic girls wearing glasses. And this,
you know, drives with a study from the Journal of
Social Psychology in August that talked to first graders about
their perceptions and found that kids with glasses were rated
lower in attractiveness even at that age, but especially if

(21:53):
they were girls, even even in first grade. Yeah, yeah,
I mean the most shocking to me was one asking
teachers to rate students and the teachers dinged all of
the kids with glasses, and again similar thing, especially for
the girls on the attractiveness ratings and um even though

(22:14):
it was completely unscientific. Reporter Taryn winter Brill from ABC
News decided to test out how perceptions of her would
change in the real world if she left everything the same.
She's very attractive, brunette, long hair, and she wanted to
see what would happen if she just put a pair
of glasses on. And she found that, for instance, in
a job interview, there wasn't a very big difference between

(22:38):
the ratings of her with or without glasses, except in teamwork,
in which they found that when she was wearing the glasses,
the recruiters thought that she would not do as well.
I just wonder if that if there's an assumption like
you're wearing glasses, you're shy, you're an introvert, because people
have all those assumptions about introverts, absolutely, but the dating

(23:00):
scenario was far more stark of a contrast um and
it was funny. I mean, she's wearing the exact same
thing and she was rated nine points lower on attractiveness
when she was simply wearing a pair of unassuming frames.
And it was so funny because she like went and
sat in front of a panel of guys, you know,

(23:22):
perspective dates, and so you know, there was real time
interaction and in their rating afterwards with her without the glasses,
they're like, yeah, she seems like very fun and great.
I'd just love to take it out on a date.
And her putting on the glasses, They're like, I don't know,
she could maybe make for like a good friend. Um.

(23:44):
But and it was it was kind of across the board,
all the guys like, yeah, I don't, I don't really know. Interesting.
Interesting What all these studies and experiments say about our society,
our culture are assumptions about people and and maybe what
you should do on a date. Perhaps, But I do

(24:04):
think though that the situation for glasses wearers has improved
a lot because I think, I don't know, I think
the glasses are are having quite a moment, Yeah, totally.
I mean, sure, you have the whole hipster glasses thing
that's a little bit of a joke, but even for

(24:25):
for women, I think that the the whole women wearing
glasses and maybe looking powerful and books is a positive
thing more than ever before, and even a sexy thing.
I mean, now we're getting into the sexy librarian trope,
which is obnoxious. Um. But the first person that popped
into my mind is Zoe Decanelle, whose character and new

(24:47):
girl in the off screen as well, is always wearing
a big pair of frames and she looks adorable or adorable,
as is their tackle in them, and it's part of
her her attractive appeal is that she puts on the glasses.
I don't know what to think, but you know what,

(25:09):
I mean, what do you what do you think though,
is a glasses wearing lady. Do you do you think
that out in public or the workplace, in the dating realm,
that you are judged differently when you're wearing glasses? Well,
I mean I wear my contact of the time, so
but I don't know. I mean, I've it seems like

(25:30):
everybody've ever dated when I've put glasses on, has thought
I looked cute, and that could be that they're biased
because they're dating me, but you know, I don't. I
also tend to date guys who are bookish just like
I am, so that wouldn't be a turn off. They
wouldn't think, oh, she's timid and a spinster. Yeah, I
will say that I've noticed that maybe I'm I do

(25:52):
buy into all the negative stereotypes because when I am single,
I wear my glasses less than I do when I'm
in a relationship, because it is the thing where you know,
usually when you put your glasses on and hope, unless
he's a jerk, you're going to get a favorable review. Um.
And I will say though that right now I'm into

(26:16):
the show Damages with Glenn Close is my guilty pleasure
right now. It's on Netflix if you have Netflix, and
Glenn Close's character is so fun to watch, if only
just to count the number of times she does a
dramatic glasses rip off and she uses the glasses as
an instrument of her power in a way of putting

(26:39):
them on of taking them off. And she's this like crazy, fierce, intelligent,
cunning kind of evil woman. And as we were, you know,
studying up for this podcast, I would take, you know,
little damages breaks and just marvel at the power of
those glasses. Well that that's funny that you talk about

(27:01):
her glasses being used as the power thing. Because in
that book Vision Aids that we reference, they have a
whole section talking about the pop psychology of the seventies
and eighties and how they got really deep into what
does it mean when the boss like rips his glasses
off or or squeezes them together, pushes them up on
his nose and or it's chewing on the little earbud thing. Like,
there's this whole pop psychology behind what executives do with

(27:25):
their glasses. Yeah. Well, and then like the whole chewing
of the chewing on the earbuds, there's that of a
you know, pensive and also the sexy chewing of the
earbuds thing. Yeah. It's once you really start thinking about
how we use and manipulate glasses and what we think
about people who wear glasses, they take on so many

(27:48):
new meanings. You know, I'm going to think about that
the next time. I have really dark circles under my eyes.
So I decided where my glasses it work instead, it's
maybe want to buy new glasses just to accessorize. I know,
but they're so expensive. They are kind of expensive. But
I hope this has been um fun and enlightening for
all of our glasses and non glasses wears. Oh one

(28:10):
statistic I didn't point out though, is that I wonder
if all of the more glasses negativity being directed at
women is one of the reasons why two thirds caroline
of contact lens wearers are women. I tried to find
statistics on the gender breakdown of lasic eye surgery, but

(28:33):
I couldn't find anything. It might be not I mean,
it's not new, but I wonder if you know, maybe
there's not the industry collective right there, but if anyone knows,
because I wonder too if there's a similar pattern of
more women opting for it so that we don't have
to wear glasses. Interesting, lots of things to think about
our eyeballs. Women are also Caroline. I found more prone

(28:55):
to dry eye. Oh well, I just found out not
too long ago that I have an instigma to the
oh no, in my left eye. That's why my contact.
My mother's like, why are you always winking at me?
Because my my left eye have an a stigmatism and
the contacts bothered them. But I got new contacts that
are thicker. They would be qualified as coke bottle contact lenses.
So it's I don't know, it's for a stigmatism things.

(29:16):
But anyway, I'm rambling. So is it better for you
if you wear your glasses? Technically yes, but I just
feel like I don't know it's I can't. I also
get migraines if the things, if it's too bright, so
I need sunglasses and I don't have prescription sunglasses. So
it's a whole thing. You know. What we need to do, Caroline,
what we need to take a picture of ourselves and
our glasses posted on our facebooks, absolutely our Facebook singular

(29:38):
page for people to look at us and say, look
at those four eyes. All right, that's all I got.
So glasses wearers out there. You want to hear from
you Mom stuff at Discovery dot com is where you
can send your letters. Let us know over on Facebook
and tweet us a mom Stuff podcast all of your
glasses related thoughts. And before we get to a couple

(30:00):
of those letters, we're gonna take a quick break and
get right back to you. And now back to our letters, Chris,
and I have one here from Audrey about our boy
bands episode. She says, well, I've never cared for the
traditional boy bands new kids on the block in Saint
et cetera. I did have one favorite when I was
a kid, the Chipmunks. I had tons of Chipmunks cassette

(30:22):
tapes that I played until I wore them out, and
I wouldn't go to bed without my Alvin doll. Like
the Monkeys, they had their own television show. Alvin was
my favorite because he had a big A on his
shirt and my name begins with A as well. According
to kid Logic. Other than that, boy bands just don't
appeal to me. But it was fun hearing about them
rather than actually hearing them, So thank you, Audrey. Caroline.

(30:45):
Speaking of boy bands, fact, last night I dreamed that
I had an encounter with Malik from one direction and
that we were going to date. But then I woke up,
Oh yeah, and then I immediately felt guilty and I
was like cheating all my boyfriend with relief from one

(31:06):
direction anyway, dreams Well, I have an email here subject
line I make people cry for a living, and so
of course I had to open it and see what
on earth Lauren was talking about. She is writing her
dissertation for her doctor and clinical pology right, and she
works as a mental health counselor at a small private practice,

(31:30):
and she writes while listening to your podcast on crying
at work, I figured I probably have an interesting perspective
to share being in the field of psychology. Sometimes when
people asking what I do, I'm half tempted to respond
I make adults cry for a living. Rarely does the
workday go by that someone has not cried in my office.
It's always interesting to observe people's reactions to their own tears.

(31:52):
Some are completely comfortable crying in front of me, even
looking forward to a weakly cry in therapy. Others refuse
to acknowledge your own tears or take tissues to clean
up the mess. Still, others will go so far as
to worry that I think poorly of them for crying.
This last situation never ceases to amaze me. It's healthy
and normal to cry when talking about deep emotional issues,
and guess what, You're not the first person to cry

(32:14):
in my office. I'm actually more likely to worry if
I see a client for an extended period of time
and he or she does not cry, This may indicate
the patient lacks insight into his or her problems, meaning
therapy may not be very productive if insight is not gained.
So I would say to that then, Caroline, perhaps crying
in the workplace is maybe a good sign that you're

(32:36):
getting intest with your feelings in a very public place. YEA.
The comments, Well, send us your comments and opinions and
thoughts and blasts ideas to mom Stuff discovery dot com.
You can also find us on Facebook like a sare.
While you're at it, you can follow us on Twitter
at Mom's Podcast. We are on Tumbler as well. You

(32:58):
can follow us at stuff Mom Never Told You dot
tumblr dot com and during the week, three times a
week every week we upload new videos on our YouTube channel,
so you should head over and subscribe to YouTube dot
com slash stuff Mom Never Told You And in the meantime,

(33:18):
you know where to find us on our website, It's
how Stuff Works dot com.

Stuff Mom Never Told You News

Advertise With Us

Follow Us On

Hosts And Creators

Anney Reese

Anney Reese

Samantha McVey

Samantha McVey

Show Links

AboutRSSStore

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Stuff You Should Know

If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.