January 2, 2019 • 34 mins
Humans have made New Year's resolutions for millennia - and had a terrible time sticking to them. So, great expectations aside, why do most resolutions fail? Listen in to this classic episode as Cristen and Caroline learn more about science of willpower and how to stick with resolutions.
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hey, this is Annie and you're listening to Stuff Mob
Never Told You. It's officially twenty nineteen, and that means
New Year, New you, New Year's resolutions. I used to
(00:28):
be a big New Year's resolutions person. I was pretty
good at keeping them. A lot of my strangest skills
like knife throwing or acts throwing, a lot of throwing
of weapons I learned thanks to a New Year's resolution.
I for the most part, stopped making them, though, or
I make very vague ones, which are the worst if
you intend on actually sticking to them. I always kind
(00:49):
of chuckle at the noticeable increase in patronage at the
gym in January that almost completely dies down by mid February.
Gives me a little bit of a laugh, which begs
the question do these New Year's resolutions work? We went
back to this classic episode to find out. Welcome to
(01:09):
Stuff Mom Never Told You from how stupp works dot com. Hello,
and welcome to the podcast. I'm Kristen and I'm Caroline
in Caroline. Let's just go ahead and do this. Hi
four three two one, Happy new podcast, Happy new podcast. Folks.
(01:36):
Guess what we made it through two thousand thirteen and
it is two thousand fourteen. We're coming at you the
very first day of the year. If you are listening
to this, the day is coming out. And if you are,
I hope that you are feeling bride eyed and bushy
tailed from the evening beforehand. I know I typically do
(01:56):
on New Year's Day, That's right, because you know what
makes a head feel great is a few glasses of champagne. Yeah, definitely.
And Caroline, you know a great way to start a
new year with a rerun. I think it's an interesting rerun,
very very topical. Yeah, you know old langzine where old
acquaintance be forgot. Well, we're going to actually remember, Um,
(02:20):
We're gonna do the opposite and remember last year's episode
on New Year's Resolutions, because tis the season we're making resolutions,
and last year we took a look at the science
of New Year's resolutions and will power to find out
whether or not we really have a very good chance
of sticking to our guns on them. That's right. And
(02:43):
this year I can't say that my resolutions I don't
really tend to make them. I can't say that they're
very different for this year, mainly just to uh continue
to try to get up early and exercise before work. Yeah,
I'm I'm right there with you. I'm resolving to get
up earlier as well. I'm not looking forward now that
is so comfortable. That is comfortable. But hey, on a
(03:05):
positive note, I'm also resolving better podcast than ever before
in two thousand fourteen. That's right. Yeah. So with that
on a hopeful note, we shall now segue into this
revisitation of our examination of whether or not New Year's
resolutions really work. Yeah, so take a listen and let
(03:29):
us know yours. I myself, I'm not really big on
New Year's I think the pressure is too high for
this holiday. I I find it stressful. I would rather
just I know it's an excuse to party, and yes,
I will find a party, but I would rather just
like have a low key night of hanging out rather
(03:51):
than trying to go somewhere where I do have to
wear sequence. There's also a lot of pressure to like
tell yourself and everyone around you that you're going to
somehow make yourself better. Oh yeah, it's the fresh start.
And it's not just in the US. This is a
cross cultural thing. People love New Year's because it gives
us a chance at least mentally to say, Okay, you
(04:14):
know what, last year I did some things whatever, But
I can I can be I can be a new
person this year. I can resolve to make myself better.
Do you have you do you make New Year's resolutions? Caroline?
I do not. I used to when I was a
naive person who believed that by simply saying I will
(04:35):
start running, I would start running, and that consistently did
not happen. So I was like, you know what, instead
of just disappointing myself every January three, I Am just
going to try to make slow lifestyle changes here and
there and not worry about promising something on January one. Well,
as we will get into more in the podcast, Caroline,
(04:58):
you are really on the right track when it comes
to when it comes to these resolutions, um. But first
before we get into whether or not resolutions really work
and when they do, because I have known people who
will set up with some kind of large goal like
(05:18):
quitting smoking or having a healthier lifestyle, losing weight, and
they actually stick to it and they do it. Um.
So we'll talk about the ways that people can succeed
in those kinds of things. But USA dot Gov just
for fun has tracked the kinds of things, the most
common things at least that Americans resolved to do, and
(05:40):
they're pretty easy to guess. Less boozing, less using keep rhyming,
eating healthier food, getting a better education, better job, getting fit,
managing debt, which I'm sure is a big one. I
think money matters in general are a big one for people, um,
quitting smoke, taking trips, volunteering, saving money, basically becoming perfect
(06:05):
human beings. Yeah. I do better with some of those things.
It's all in cycles. Sometimes I'm really good at saving
money because I just get in the mindset of like, no, dummy,
you can't go to the mall every day. That's just ridiculous.
Who does that? And so I become really good, you know,
eating at home instead of eating out and doing all
(06:25):
that stuff. But sometimes you can't be good all the time. No,
you need to allow yourself some indulgences. Absolutely. But uh.
One interesting thing though about New Year's resolutions is just
how long we've been making them. I suspected that it
was more of a modern cultural invention, that New Year's
(06:48):
resolutions are this huge thing that everybody has to do,
but no, in fact, This is coming from the Book
of Christmas by James Struther's She talks about the history
of resolute making and how ancient Romans and Babylonians would
make resolutions at the start of the year, and Babylonians
specifically promised to repay debts and return borrowed objects, and
(07:11):
this was also popular among not surprisingly much later in
history the Puritans. I like the Babylonian resolutions. Well, they're
not really resolutions, but just like I'm gonna give back
what's ode that that seems like it's an easier, more
noble goal than I'm going to start eating fewer cheesy poofs.
Although that's pretty noble too. You can accomplish it. It's
(07:32):
it's true, um, but it's even still though, uh, these days,
I'd say there's a lot of cynicism towards resolutions, even
though it's something that it's it's a strange part of
almost human nature, it seems like, considering how long we've
been doing this. But it's also been accompanied by this
(07:53):
growing acknowledgement that maybe resolutions are just empty gestures that
we make to make ourselves feel better at the beginning
of the year. For instance, Struthers quotes Mark Twain, who
once said New Year's Day is now the accepted time
to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you
(08:14):
can begin paving hell with them as usual. Oh, Samuel Clemmens,
some people last longer than a week. Yeah, oh yeah, well.
Oscar Wilde also was skeptical. He said good resolutions are
simply checks that men draw on a bank where they
have no account. And the thing is Mark Twain and
Oscar Wilde were not off the mark in terms of
(08:37):
being dubious that people will actually stick to their resolutions.
So there were two studies by John Norcross of the
University of Scranton back in nine. John John Norcross is
actually focused a lot on resolutions, will power all that stuff,
And he found that seventy seven percent of people maintain
(08:59):
their resolutions for one week. So here we go, one week.
That's that's pretty good. Good job, only maintained for the
full two years that they followed people. But I still
think that's pretty good almost of people holding onto the
resolutions for two years. Yeah, although I mean we don't
we don't have details on what precisely those resolutions were.
Um And I also really liked the name of the study.
(09:21):
It was called the Resolution Solution Longitudinal Examination of New
Year's Change Attempts. I love academia sometimes. Um. Yeah. And
among those two people that Norcross tracked, a little bit
over half of them experienced at least one slip up,
and those slip ups would be precipitated by self reported
(09:43):
lack of personal control excessive stress, which is something to
keep in mind as we talk about resolutions and negative emotions.
And even though um, those studies are a little bit
dated there, the numbers still apply today for the mo
this part. It's not like we've gotten any better really
keeping resolutions in the intervening years. Um. John Tierney over
(10:07):
at the New York Times recently looked at statistics on
how how good we are these days at keeping resolutions
and forewarned that, sorry to say this, folks, a third
of people will have broken their resolutions by January, and
half of us will just give up by July. But
that still leaves fifty percent after July. Um. And one
(10:32):
of the reasons why we tend to give up, um,
has to do with us finding ourselves or at least
thinking ourselves too busy perhaps to really put the effort
to dig in and make the sacrifices um. Also in
The New York Times, Tara Parker Pope reported on a
two thousand seventh survey by time management firm Franklin Covee
(10:54):
that pulled fifteen thousand customers. Uh, and they found that
nearly forty percent are read breaking their resolutions to having
too many other things to do, and then thirty three
percent we're just i would say probably a little more
honest and said they just weren't as committed to the
resolutions as they were when the clock struck midnight. Yeah.
Well it's hard. It's hard to go from being a
(11:16):
couch cent a day in and day out to being like, no,
I'm going to train for a marathon. I mean that's
that's a major step. And to just decide automatically that
you're going to do that, like maybe get an app
like the couch to the five k app or something
like that, like take it in steps, it is it
can be so overwhelming. I know, you know what I'm
talking about. It can be so overwhelming to be like,
(11:37):
I'm just gonna make a radical life change, right just
because it's New Year's Yeah, and we don't think about uh,
the incremental steps needed to get to that place of
actually having a resolution that works. Yeah. Um, so speaking
of resolutions working, you you do really have to be committed.
(11:59):
And so, you know, Chris inside of the thirty three
percent who said they simply just weren't committed, they didn't
feel like, you know, following through on whatever promise they made.
And uh. Kimberly Moffatt, who's a psychotherapist, quoted in the
Huffington Post, said that New Year's resolutions only work in
very few cases, and typically with those who have a
will of steel. And this gets into the whole like
(12:21):
willpower issue, like strength of will what makes people commit,
and so it can be really hard to commit. This
is another John Norcross study who mentioned him earlier, this
one in two thousand two. He found that by the
end of January, thirty six percent had already broken their resolutions.
Like we said, it can be overwhelming, and it really
(12:42):
is overwhelming if we're faced with too many tasks. So
not only are we like going back to work, we're
getting over the holidays, We're trying to clean up after
all the relatives have been in the house, and we
want to start training for a marathon. It can just
be a lot to handle. Yeah, And Michael Bader, who
is a senior advisor for the Institute for Change, also
(13:03):
says that resolutions don't work because we have an unconscious
resolution to not change. Basically, he thinks that our bad
behaviors serve unconscious beliefs and needs that are the building
blocks of our identities. So he gives an example of
an overeater who's unsuccessful at dieting because binging provides momentary
(13:25):
relief from feelings of loneliness and or anxiety. But I mean,
the thing is though, because he said he also goes
on to say, like, this has nothing to do with
heredity or neurobiology. You know, it's just these these unconscious
parts of who we are. We can't divorce ourselves from them.
But it sounds like that's just not getting at the
real root of the problem and shrugging off. You know,
(13:48):
Oh well, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna change, really,
I'm just gonna like, I don't feel like cheesy poofs
are a cornerstone of my identity. I just really like them,
that's all. Like I could don't think the giving up
cheesy poofs will reveal anything that's like deep seated in
my brain. But what does the poof represent Caroline happiness?
Oh oh there it ish um. Well, another reason is
(14:13):
that we really don't want to do them. According to
this is Steve Airy, who's a negative Nancy confidence coach.
Quoted over at life Hacker. He said that this is
because resolutions are really about what we should do rather
than what we want to do. So it's like doing
your homework instead of playing video games. You know, it's
like it's what you should do to better yourself, but
(14:34):
do you really feel like you want to do it?
And then he goes on to explain that they're like goals,
but he said that this is a negative, which I
kind of take issue with and I think is weird.
So he says that resolutions are like goals, which puts
a gap between where you are now and where you
want to be. And I don't think that's inherently negative.
(14:55):
I think if you see a goal that you want
to go for, whether that's getting a new job or
losing weight, you should go for. But anyway, he says
that making resolutions make you look at what's next, not
what's right in front of you. And they make you
feel less than lowering your self esteem, which I think
I feel like he's getting it backwards. I don't know
about your I mean I could see that coming into
(15:15):
effect if you set yourself up for cycles of defeat
where you continually set goals and then that are too
ambitious and then you don't meet up to them, and
then that would probably ding your self esteem and you know,
lower you rather than propel you forward. Because it seems
like resolution should be more of a motivational factor. I
(15:39):
think it's more something that Christie Hedges, who's a leadership
coach um and quoted over at Forbes, talked about the
fact that we set too lofty of goals. It's like
this all or nothing thing I'm going to become. You know,
I'm going to sculpt my body so much so that
(15:59):
when I go to the beach, people will ask to
take my photo. And that's not gonna It's not gonna
happen with you know, one zoomba class a week or
whatever it is that we think um can do it.
And so when we don't hit this transformational point in
a short amount of time, then we just throw the
whole throw the whole thing. Out. Yeah. Well, she also
(16:21):
says that culturally we're all pretty cynical and that we
live up to our low expectations because we're setting these
incredible goals that we don't honestly expect to meet, and
so it's that much easier to just be like whatever,
I'm not going to go run anymore or I'm not
gonna do X y Z anymore, because I never really
expected that i'd you know, succeed anyway. I also like
how she refers to this as the cynical zeitgeist, which
(16:43):
supports the gravitational pull of the status quo cynical zeitgeist.
Everybody's a daria um. But there is some science though too,
(17:05):
resolutions and more specifically to the will power that it
takes to change things. Because I think that resolutions can
be a very good thing. I think that we're just
going about them, oftentimes the wrong way. But when you
figure out how willpower works in the brain, maybe we
are arming ourselves with some some information to help us
(17:29):
succeed because sticking to resolutions, i e. Willpower takes actual energy. Yeah,
so it turns out that when you run out of
will plat power, you're running out of energy. Like Kristen
said that is powered by glucose in the bloodstream, which
Roy F. Baumeister, a social psychologist, calls ego depletion. He
(17:51):
points out that you really have to anticipate the limits
of your willpower. And what is it about willpower? Why
does it run out? What's going on? Well, one of
the reasons why it runs out is because all of
the research into into ego depletion, into willpower, UM finds
that we don't really have very much of it. Willpower
(18:15):
is a very fleeting thing humans like to give into
their indulgences, and UM, if we don't exercise it much
like a muscle, we we aren't going to be able
to to use it very much. UM. And this was
something that uh jonah Laire who before I can hear
eyebrows raising right now, I realized he is uh run
(18:37):
into some issues lately with some citations, but nevertheless he wrote, Uh,
he did run a fascinating piece over at wired awhile
ago UM called the willpower trick, And I just wanted
to call out some of these studies that he highlighted. Uh.
He talks about behavioral economists Baba Shiv who asked two
separate groups to memorize either a two digit or a
(18:58):
seven digit number, and later on those two groups were
um tasked with choosing between a piece of chocolate cake
or a fruit bowl, knowing that the fruit would be
a healthier option. And you found Ship found that the
people who had to memorize the seven digit number were
much more likely to just given to the temptation and
(19:22):
eat a piece of chocolate cake because Ships surmised their
brains were more tax those blood glu glucose levels were lower,
and hence they had more ego depletion. Yeah, and this
is the same thing. You get home from work. All day,
You've probably exercised willpower, not just in avoiding the dessert
tray at launch maybe, but also like not cursing all
(19:45):
day work. You've exercised willpower to not be your usual
jerk self. You get home at night, your brain is tired,
and you're like, Okay, I could grill a chicken breast
or I could just eat this whole macaroni and cheese
play from the grocery store. I love cheese is the theme.
I think this is a thing. Think it's a theme,
(20:05):
but I like it. Um But going more into the research.
Back in the nineteen sixties, there's a famous experiment by
a guy named Walter Mitchell who wanted to test whether
or not kids could hold out for treats, basically looking
at will power in childhood, and he identified among the
(20:29):
kids who were able to hold out, he identified something
he called strategic allocation of attention, in which they literally
distracted themselves from the I think it was a marshmallow
or some kind of chocolate treat on the table that
it was sitting there. Um, yeah, because he told them
that they could either eat the marshmallow now or wait
(20:50):
until the researcher comes back in the room. And then
they get to marshmallows. And all of the kids who
just sat there and stare at the marshmallow and tried
to wait it out had much more trouble and would
usually just gobble up the marshmallow. But the kids who
would cover their eyes so they couldn't see it, they
would sing songs themselves, actually hide underneath the table, essentially
(21:14):
blocking that temptation stimulus from view. We're able to hold
out the longest, and so that's um one thing that
researchers have learned about willpower is the fact that those
of us who might seem to have the most actually
have to exercise it the least because we sidestep temptation
(21:36):
by just keeping those things out of out of our view.
Like if if you you're you know, pitfall is say
chocolate or cigarettes or alcohol, you don't have chocolate or
cigarettes or alcohol anywhere. You know. It's like if you're
an alcoholic, you're not going to go to a bar. Yeah,
I read. There was one comment aud the Wired article
(21:57):
the guy so that he kept his pack of cigarettes.
He would only let him help buy one pack at
a time, and he would keep it in the back
seat of his car. So every time he wanted to smoke,
he would have to go out and get his keys,
go outside, get the pack of cigarettes, get one cigarette,
because he would only let himself take one cigarette at
a time and then smoke it. And so that cut
way down on just like the boredom smoking. And he
(22:17):
actually ended up cutting way down in general. And I'm like, well,
am I going to have to keep all of my
chocolate in my car? You gotta keep the cheesy poofs
in the trunk, Caroline, I have a hatch I can
so easily get to it. Um. Yeah, but that's the
whole thing too. I don't keep ice cream in the house.
I don't go down the ice cream aisle at the
(22:39):
grocery store. Like if I super duper want ice cream,
it means that I have to either go to the
grocery store and get it or just like stop by
the ice cream parlor on the way home, which it's
just so much of a hassle. Who wants to do that? Well,
And the only thing though about this kind of research
is that it definitely gives us more insight into eliminating
(23:00):
problem behaviors, but not so much into activating positive ones.
In terms of exercising. Going to those zoomba classes, Um,
I can't keep up. Uh yeah, I've never taken a
zoomba class, but I have a feeling I would. I
don't know, I got I got two left fet folks
um or you know, like learning a new language or
(23:22):
going on trips. Tho's kind of volunteering those kinds of
things that require more time. But again it seems like,
no matter what the big lesson is, you gotta start small. Yeah, definitely, Yeah,
small steps are best. This was a stressed in l
l A Times article in December. Take short walks at work,
(23:43):
things like that, things that can add up to small
successes that can add up to a better feeling of
self control self esteem, like thinking, Okay, that wasn't hard
getting up at three thirty. When you're just like head
on your desk, getting up and just taking a walk
around your floor, around your building or whatever, that eventually
leads you to be like, Okay, well maybe then I
can run a mile on the treadmill instead when I
(24:05):
get home, you know, adding up to bigger and bigger things.
And same with the same with food. Um, it's the
whole Like if you're drastically cutting everything out, like okay,
well I'm gonna go from eating like a normal average
American diet to let us I'm gonna eat nothing but
let us in tomatoes. Yeah a, that's not a balanced diet.
(24:25):
Yeah you need some frosted flakes in there. And also
remember that those glucost levels too. It means that has
a big thing to do with the food, Like people
need to to eat to be healthy to keep those glucosts. Yeah,
that's why. Yeah, that's why your crash diets are not
gonna work. That's why it has to be a lifestyle change.
And Kimberly Moffatt, who we referenced earlier, said, in reference
(24:47):
to food in particular, think of what you're adding instead
of what you're taking away. This is something I've actually
told my mother, who refuses, I don't know it, refuses
to cut back in some areas and add an other.
I'm like, don't think of it as dieting. This isn't
like your neutral system. This isn't your eating rice cakes
and being sad. This is just trying to add fruits
(25:10):
and vegetables. Maybe take away a little bacon. I know,
cut who wants to take away bacon? I don't know nobody,
but yeah, And and people recommend that you don't spread yourself. Then,
in addition to this, you want to set a single,
clear goal because, as we mentioned earlier, being overwhelmed with
tasks and half two's and must dues, it just gets
(25:32):
to be too much and you won't stick to it. Yeah.
And on that same note, I think this is really important.
Don't overreact if you have a lapse. Lapses happen if
you skip a day of running. If you eat that hamburger,
enjoy it. Enjoy the relaxation that you take from not
exercising one day. Enjoy the satiation from that burger or
(25:57):
whatever food it is, that the delight to you so much,
and then you know and keep going. Don't expect yourself
to be completely perfect right off the bat or really ever. Yeah,
And also, I mean, don't think that that burger or
that day off from running means your entire diet or
exercise regiment or whatever is off track. You've that's just
(26:18):
one one day, one burger, one whatever, a bag of
cheesey poofs, whatever, But just that just means that the
next day you're back at it, right. Um. And we
have not touched on gender at all in this podcast,
but this, this whole thing about willpower and managing stress
and keeping your energy levels up is especially pertinent to
(26:42):
women because the American Psychological Association did a pretty end
up survey not too long ago on gender stress and
sticking to resolutions and willpower and found that women may
have a harder time sticking to goals like these than
men do. And I wonder if off the bat, and
(27:05):
I wasn't able to find any statistics on this, I
wonder if just from the get go, women um might
set more resolutions, and perhaps more unrealistic resolutions. And I
only say that because I feel like as soon as
the holidays are over, the messages that we are immediately
inundated with our swimsuit seasons around the corner, ladies, Yeah,
(27:28):
drop those last five pounds out all that turkey way,
I'm going to give birth to a turkey. Um. Yeah.
It turns out in the study that both genders do
cite lack of willpower as the number one barrier to change,
but women are more likely than men to cite the
lack of willpower as a barrier preventing them from making
the lifestyle changes recommended by a doctor. And so that's
(27:52):
thirty women versus twenty four percent men. Yeah. And women
are also far more likely than men to report that
a lack of willpower has prevented them from changing eating habits. Um.
When asked what they needed to change in order for
their willpower to improve, women were more likely than men
to say less fatigue and more confidence in their ability
(28:13):
to improve their will power. And also six times as
many women say that having more help with household chores
would allow them to improve their will power. And this
was something that I was thinking about in terms of,
you know, what it takes to set a resolution and
really keep to it and make a lifestyle change. And
(28:34):
as a single woman with no kids, like being as
autonomous as I will ever be probably in my life.
Um that I could see that happening. I could say,
oh I could, you know, I could, I could do
these kinds of things. Toss a kid in the mix.
I don't know, you know, because that's that increases your
stress level. That and I'm not blaming kids for things.
(28:55):
I'm just saying that I can understand how having partner,
having a household to take care of, having children, even pets,
um my pet free, uh, all of that can impact
this brain space that it takes to really set yourself
up for success. And it also speaks to I mean
(29:18):
not to to to be uh kind of cliche about it,
but it also speaks to the importance of you know,
establishing healthy lifestyles from the get go if possible, and
maybe just using your child as a bench press. Just
bench press your child, incorporate if the child is taking
up so much of your time, incorporate the child into
(29:38):
your exercise. Gentlemen, Well, no, that is one of the
bicep curls with the child. There you go. If you've
got twin babies. Obviously auto padded surface g I c
um no. But one of the one of the tips
was just play with your kids because that knocks out
increased family time and also gives you a little bit
of exercise. So here we're here to help. Yeah, that's
(30:01):
what we're doing. Yeah, and I do think that. Um
the fact that there are so many apps out there too,
especially for people who want to start exercising more, that
will give you reminders keeping some kind of accountability something
that's often cited as well as a good thing to do.
So this this sounds like if I want to get
(30:22):
back in the resolution game, I should make a resolution
along the lines of get moving a little bit every day. Yeah,
so in going from nothing, going from walking from my
car to my apartment, take a walk at three o'clock
when I'm starting to feel tired at work. Yeah, it's
the whole thing about taking the stairs instead of the
elevator one day at a time. Like for for me, uh,
(30:46):
like I want to save money this year, and instead
of what I've done in the past of saying by
the end of this year, I want to have a
million dollars. Now, I'm not gonna happen. There's no way.
Uh actually saying okay each week. Yeah, breaking it down, well,
I've also in terms of money, like, I've also set
an amount every month that I'm going to put in
savings and never touch again, because I actually am working
(31:08):
towards a goal of buying a car, like I have
to get rid of my old, dying, noisy car, and
so I just have to be disciplined about that. But
I do still let myself go out, Sure, have a drink,
have a Hamburger, gosie, friends, that kind of thing. I
don't completely deprive myself of any social interaction that involves
leaving the house because I would go insane and then
(31:30):
I would money binge and buy all of the shoes.
So buy all the shoes now. So New Year's resolutions
do they work? Oftentimes? No, But it's just because well
not just because, but I would say largely because we
go about them the wrong way. Yeah, it's it's almost
sort of a desperation move, like, oh my god, I
(31:52):
was not responsible with film the blank, and I need
to suddenly backtrack and reverse. However, many months of damage.
Whereas it might seem hard, but in the long run,
it's easier to make that lifestyle change and be kind
to yourself. Yeah, that's a good message, be kind to yourself.
(32:12):
And hey, that still stands in keep being kind to yourself. Yeah, Caroline,
I think of all of the resolutions, be kind to
yourself is one that is doable. Yeah, we can. We
can do that, right. Sure, we might have to work
at it. You know. I think it's easy to beat
ourselves up sometimes, but just as it's important to be
kind to your fellow human, be nice to yourself too.
(32:35):
And you know what, I'm going to resolve to have
the best podcasts ever in two thousand and fourteen. Yes, So,
if you have any podcast suggestions that you would like
us to tackle in this upcoming year, now is the
time to let us know, because we have some exciting
things right around the corner. Not only is it a
(32:57):
whole new year of all new podcast topics that we
want to get your insight on, but we have the
launch of a very special website where all of the
podcast goodness will have a home. That's right, I'm talking
to stuff, mom, never told you. Website coming out very soon,
(33:19):
So stay tuned for that, and don't forget also to
send us your podcast episode suggestions for two thousand fourteen.
Happy New Year, everybody, Let's really kick it off with
some awesome episodes requested by you. You can email them
to us at mom Stuff at Discovery dot com. You
(33:41):
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(34:02):
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Is it how stuff Works dot com
Hey, this is Annie and you're listening to Stuff Mob
Never Told You. It's officially twenty nineteen, and that means
New Year, New you, New Year's resolutions. I used to
(00:28):
be a big New Year's resolutions person. I was pretty
good at keeping them. A lot of my strangest skills
like knife throwing or acts throwing, a lot of throwing
of weapons I learned thanks to a New Year's resolution.
I for the most part, stopped making them, though, or
I make very vague ones, which are the worst if
you intend on actually sticking to them. I always kind
(00:49):
of chuckle at the noticeable increase in patronage at the
gym in January that almost completely dies down by mid February.
Gives me a little bit of a laugh, which begs
the question do these New Year's resolutions work? We went
back to this classic episode to find out. Welcome to
(01:09):
Stuff Mom Never Told You from how stupp works dot com. Hello,
and welcome to the podcast. I'm Kristen and I'm Caroline
in Caroline. Let's just go ahead and do this. Hi
four three two one, Happy new podcast, Happy new podcast. Folks.
(01:36):
Guess what we made it through two thousand thirteen and
it is two thousand fourteen. We're coming at you the
very first day of the year. If you are listening
to this, the day is coming out. And if you are,
I hope that you are feeling bride eyed and bushy
tailed from the evening beforehand. I know I typically do
(01:56):
on New Year's Day, That's right, because you know what
makes a head feel great is a few glasses of champagne. Yeah, definitely.
And Caroline, you know a great way to start a
new year with a rerun. I think it's an interesting rerun,
very very topical. Yeah, you know old langzine where old
acquaintance be forgot. Well, we're going to actually remember, Um,
(02:20):
We're gonna do the opposite and remember last year's episode
on New Year's Resolutions, because tis the season we're making resolutions,
and last year we took a look at the science
of New Year's resolutions and will power to find out
whether or not we really have a very good chance
of sticking to our guns on them. That's right. And
(02:43):
this year I can't say that my resolutions I don't
really tend to make them. I can't say that they're
very different for this year, mainly just to uh continue
to try to get up early and exercise before work. Yeah,
I'm I'm right there with you. I'm resolving to get
up earlier as well. I'm not looking forward now that
is so comfortable. That is comfortable. But hey, on a
(03:05):
positive note, I'm also resolving better podcast than ever before
in two thousand fourteen. That's right. Yeah. So with that
on a hopeful note, we shall now segue into this
revisitation of our examination of whether or not New Year's
resolutions really work. Yeah, so take a listen and let
(03:29):
us know yours. I myself, I'm not really big on
New Year's I think the pressure is too high for
this holiday. I I find it stressful. I would rather
just I know it's an excuse to party, and yes,
I will find a party, but I would rather just
like have a low key night of hanging out rather
(03:51):
than trying to go somewhere where I do have to
wear sequence. There's also a lot of pressure to like
tell yourself and everyone around you that you're going to
somehow make yourself better. Oh yeah, it's the fresh start.
And it's not just in the US. This is a
cross cultural thing. People love New Year's because it gives
us a chance at least mentally to say, Okay, you
(04:14):
know what, last year I did some things whatever, But
I can I can be I can be a new
person this year. I can resolve to make myself better.
Do you have you do you make New Year's resolutions? Caroline?
I do not. I used to when I was a
naive person who believed that by simply saying I will
(04:35):
start running, I would start running, and that consistently did
not happen. So I was like, you know what, instead
of just disappointing myself every January three, I Am just
going to try to make slow lifestyle changes here and
there and not worry about promising something on January one. Well,
as we will get into more in the podcast, Caroline,
(04:58):
you are really on the right track when it comes
to when it comes to these resolutions, um. But first
before we get into whether or not resolutions really work
and when they do, because I have known people who
will set up with some kind of large goal like
(05:18):
quitting smoking or having a healthier lifestyle, losing weight, and
they actually stick to it and they do it. Um.
So we'll talk about the ways that people can succeed
in those kinds of things. But USA dot Gov just
for fun has tracked the kinds of things, the most
common things at least that Americans resolved to do, and
(05:40):
they're pretty easy to guess. Less boozing, less using keep rhyming,
eating healthier food, getting a better education, better job, getting fit,
managing debt, which I'm sure is a big one. I
think money matters in general are a big one for people, um,
quitting smoke, taking trips, volunteering, saving money, basically becoming perfect
(06:05):
human beings. Yeah. I do better with some of those things.
It's all in cycles. Sometimes I'm really good at saving
money because I just get in the mindset of like, no, dummy,
you can't go to the mall every day. That's just ridiculous.
Who does that? And so I become really good, you know,
eating at home instead of eating out and doing all
(06:25):
that stuff. But sometimes you can't be good all the time. No,
you need to allow yourself some indulgences. Absolutely. But uh.
One interesting thing though about New Year's resolutions is just
how long we've been making them. I suspected that it
was more of a modern cultural invention, that New Year's
(06:48):
resolutions are this huge thing that everybody has to do,
but no, in fact, This is coming from the Book
of Christmas by James Struther's She talks about the history
of resolute making and how ancient Romans and Babylonians would
make resolutions at the start of the year, and Babylonians
specifically promised to repay debts and return borrowed objects, and
(07:11):
this was also popular among not surprisingly much later in
history the Puritans. I like the Babylonian resolutions. Well, they're
not really resolutions, but just like I'm gonna give back
what's ode that that seems like it's an easier, more
noble goal than I'm going to start eating fewer cheesy poofs.
Although that's pretty noble too. You can accomplish it. It's
(07:32):
it's true, um, but it's even still though, uh, these days,
I'd say there's a lot of cynicism towards resolutions, even
though it's something that it's it's a strange part of
almost human nature, it seems like, considering how long we've
been doing this. But it's also been accompanied by this
(07:53):
growing acknowledgement that maybe resolutions are just empty gestures that
we make to make ourselves feel better at the beginning
of the year. For instance, Struthers quotes Mark Twain, who
once said New Year's Day is now the accepted time
to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you
(08:14):
can begin paving hell with them as usual. Oh, Samuel Clemmens,
some people last longer than a week. Yeah, oh yeah, well.
Oscar Wilde also was skeptical. He said good resolutions are
simply checks that men draw on a bank where they
have no account. And the thing is Mark Twain and
Oscar Wilde were not off the mark in terms of
(08:37):
being dubious that people will actually stick to their resolutions.
So there were two studies by John Norcross of the
University of Scranton back in nine. John John Norcross is
actually focused a lot on resolutions, will power all that stuff,
And he found that seventy seven percent of people maintain
(08:59):
their resolutions for one week. So here we go, one week.
That's that's pretty good. Good job, only maintained for the
full two years that they followed people. But I still
think that's pretty good almost of people holding onto the
resolutions for two years. Yeah, although I mean we don't
we don't have details on what precisely those resolutions were.
Um And I also really liked the name of the study.
(09:21):
It was called the Resolution Solution Longitudinal Examination of New
Year's Change Attempts. I love academia sometimes. Um. Yeah. And
among those two people that Norcross tracked, a little bit
over half of them experienced at least one slip up,
and those slip ups would be precipitated by self reported
(09:43):
lack of personal control excessive stress, which is something to
keep in mind as we talk about resolutions and negative emotions.
And even though um, those studies are a little bit
dated there, the numbers still apply today for the mo
this part. It's not like we've gotten any better really
keeping resolutions in the intervening years. Um. John Tierney over
(10:07):
at the New York Times recently looked at statistics on
how how good we are these days at keeping resolutions
and forewarned that, sorry to say this, folks, a third
of people will have broken their resolutions by January, and
half of us will just give up by July. But
that still leaves fifty percent after July. Um. And one
(10:32):
of the reasons why we tend to give up, um,
has to do with us finding ourselves or at least
thinking ourselves too busy perhaps to really put the effort
to dig in and make the sacrifices um. Also in
The New York Times, Tara Parker Pope reported on a
two thousand seventh survey by time management firm Franklin Covee
(10:54):
that pulled fifteen thousand customers. Uh, and they found that
nearly forty percent are read breaking their resolutions to having
too many other things to do, and then thirty three
percent we're just i would say probably a little more
honest and said they just weren't as committed to the
resolutions as they were when the clock struck midnight. Yeah.
Well it's hard. It's hard to go from being a
(11:16):
couch cent a day in and day out to being like, no,
I'm going to train for a marathon. I mean that's
that's a major step. And to just decide automatically that
you're going to do that, like maybe get an app
like the couch to the five k app or something
like that, like take it in steps, it is it
can be so overwhelming. I know, you know what I'm
talking about. It can be so overwhelming to be like,
(11:37):
I'm just gonna make a radical life change, right just
because it's New Year's Yeah, and we don't think about uh,
the incremental steps needed to get to that place of
actually having a resolution that works. Yeah. Um, so speaking
of resolutions working, you you do really have to be committed.
(11:59):
And so, you know, Chris inside of the thirty three
percent who said they simply just weren't committed, they didn't
feel like, you know, following through on whatever promise they made.
And uh. Kimberly Moffatt, who's a psychotherapist, quoted in the
Huffington Post, said that New Year's resolutions only work in
very few cases, and typically with those who have a
will of steel. And this gets into the whole like
(12:21):
willpower issue, like strength of will what makes people commit,
and so it can be really hard to commit. This
is another John Norcross study who mentioned him earlier, this
one in two thousand two. He found that by the
end of January, thirty six percent had already broken their resolutions.
Like we said, it can be overwhelming, and it really
(12:42):
is overwhelming if we're faced with too many tasks. So
not only are we like going back to work, we're
getting over the holidays, We're trying to clean up after
all the relatives have been in the house, and we
want to start training for a marathon. It can just
be a lot to handle. Yeah, And Michael Bader, who
is a senior advisor for the Institute for Change, also
(13:03):
says that resolutions don't work because we have an unconscious
resolution to not change. Basically, he thinks that our bad
behaviors serve unconscious beliefs and needs that are the building
blocks of our identities. So he gives an example of
an overeater who's unsuccessful at dieting because binging provides momentary
(13:25):
relief from feelings of loneliness and or anxiety. But I mean,
the thing is though, because he said he also goes
on to say, like, this has nothing to do with
heredity or neurobiology. You know, it's just these these unconscious
parts of who we are. We can't divorce ourselves from them.
But it sounds like that's just not getting at the
real root of the problem and shrugging off. You know,
(13:48):
Oh well, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna change, really,
I'm just gonna like, I don't feel like cheesy poofs
are a cornerstone of my identity. I just really like them,
that's all. Like I could don't think the giving up
cheesy poofs will reveal anything that's like deep seated in
my brain. But what does the poof represent Caroline happiness?
Oh oh there it ish um. Well, another reason is
(14:13):
that we really don't want to do them. According to
this is Steve Airy, who's a negative Nancy confidence coach.
Quoted over at life Hacker. He said that this is
because resolutions are really about what we should do rather
than what we want to do. So it's like doing
your homework instead of playing video games. You know, it's
like it's what you should do to better yourself, but
(14:34):
do you really feel like you want to do it?
And then he goes on to explain that they're like goals,
but he said that this is a negative, which I
kind of take issue with and I think is weird.
So he says that resolutions are like goals, which puts
a gap between where you are now and where you
want to be. And I don't think that's inherently negative.
(14:55):
I think if you see a goal that you want
to go for, whether that's getting a new job or
losing weight, you should go for. But anyway, he says
that making resolutions make you look at what's next, not
what's right in front of you. And they make you
feel less than lowering your self esteem, which I think
I feel like he's getting it backwards. I don't know
about your I mean I could see that coming into
(15:15):
effect if you set yourself up for cycles of defeat
where you continually set goals and then that are too
ambitious and then you don't meet up to them, and
then that would probably ding your self esteem and you know,
lower you rather than propel you forward. Because it seems
like resolution should be more of a motivational factor. I
(15:39):
think it's more something that Christie Hedges, who's a leadership
coach um and quoted over at Forbes, talked about the
fact that we set too lofty of goals. It's like
this all or nothing thing I'm going to become. You know,
I'm going to sculpt my body so much so that
(15:59):
when I go to the beach, people will ask to
take my photo. And that's not gonna It's not gonna
happen with you know, one zoomba class a week or
whatever it is that we think um can do it.
And so when we don't hit this transformational point in
a short amount of time, then we just throw the
whole throw the whole thing. Out. Yeah. Well, she also
(16:21):
says that culturally we're all pretty cynical and that we
live up to our low expectations because we're setting these
incredible goals that we don't honestly expect to meet, and
so it's that much easier to just be like whatever,
I'm not going to go run anymore or I'm not
gonna do X y Z anymore, because I never really
expected that i'd you know, succeed anyway. I also like
how she refers to this as the cynical zeitgeist, which
(16:43):
supports the gravitational pull of the status quo cynical zeitgeist.
Everybody's a daria um. But there is some science though too,
(17:05):
resolutions and more specifically to the will power that it
takes to change things. Because I think that resolutions can
be a very good thing. I think that we're just
going about them, oftentimes the wrong way. But when you
figure out how willpower works in the brain, maybe we
are arming ourselves with some some information to help us
(17:29):
succeed because sticking to resolutions, i e. Willpower takes actual energy. Yeah,
so it turns out that when you run out of
will plat power, you're running out of energy. Like Kristen
said that is powered by glucose in the bloodstream, which
Roy F. Baumeister, a social psychologist, calls ego depletion. He
(17:51):
points out that you really have to anticipate the limits
of your willpower. And what is it about willpower? Why
does it run out? What's going on? Well, one of
the reasons why it runs out is because all of
the research into into ego depletion, into willpower, UM finds
that we don't really have very much of it. Willpower
(18:15):
is a very fleeting thing humans like to give into
their indulgences, and UM, if we don't exercise it much
like a muscle, we we aren't going to be able
to to use it very much. UM. And this was
something that uh jonah Laire who before I can hear
eyebrows raising right now, I realized he is uh run
(18:37):
into some issues lately with some citations, but nevertheless he wrote, Uh,
he did run a fascinating piece over at wired awhile
ago UM called the willpower trick, And I just wanted
to call out some of these studies that he highlighted. Uh.
He talks about behavioral economists Baba Shiv who asked two
separate groups to memorize either a two digit or a
(18:58):
seven digit number, and later on those two groups were
um tasked with choosing between a piece of chocolate cake
or a fruit bowl, knowing that the fruit would be
a healthier option. And you found Ship found that the
people who had to memorize the seven digit number were
much more likely to just given to the temptation and
(19:22):
eat a piece of chocolate cake because Ships surmised their
brains were more tax those blood glu glucose levels were lower,
and hence they had more ego depletion. Yeah, and this
is the same thing. You get home from work. All day,
You've probably exercised willpower, not just in avoiding the dessert
tray at launch maybe, but also like not cursing all
(19:45):
day work. You've exercised willpower to not be your usual
jerk self. You get home at night, your brain is tired,
and you're like, Okay, I could grill a chicken breast
or I could just eat this whole macaroni and cheese
play from the grocery store. I love cheese is the theme.
I think this is a thing. Think it's a theme,
(20:05):
but I like it. Um But going more into the research.
Back in the nineteen sixties, there's a famous experiment by
a guy named Walter Mitchell who wanted to test whether
or not kids could hold out for treats, basically looking
at will power in childhood, and he identified among the
(20:29):
kids who were able to hold out, he identified something
he called strategic allocation of attention, in which they literally
distracted themselves from the I think it was a marshmallow
or some kind of chocolate treat on the table that
it was sitting there. Um, yeah, because he told them
that they could either eat the marshmallow now or wait
(20:50):
until the researcher comes back in the room. And then
they get to marshmallows. And all of the kids who
just sat there and stare at the marshmallow and tried
to wait it out had much more trouble and would
usually just gobble up the marshmallow. But the kids who
would cover their eyes so they couldn't see it, they
would sing songs themselves, actually hide underneath the table, essentially
(21:14):
blocking that temptation stimulus from view. We're able to hold
out the longest, and so that's um one thing that
researchers have learned about willpower is the fact that those
of us who might seem to have the most actually
have to exercise it the least because we sidestep temptation
(21:36):
by just keeping those things out of out of our view.
Like if if you you're you know, pitfall is say
chocolate or cigarettes or alcohol, you don't have chocolate or
cigarettes or alcohol anywhere. You know. It's like if you're
an alcoholic, you're not going to go to a bar. Yeah,
I read. There was one comment aud the Wired article
(21:57):
the guy so that he kept his pack of cigarettes.
He would only let him help buy one pack at
a time, and he would keep it in the back
seat of his car. So every time he wanted to smoke,
he would have to go out and get his keys,
go outside, get the pack of cigarettes, get one cigarette,
because he would only let himself take one cigarette at
a time and then smoke it. And so that cut
way down on just like the boredom smoking. And he
(22:17):
actually ended up cutting way down in general. And I'm like, well,
am I going to have to keep all of my
chocolate in my car? You gotta keep the cheesy poofs
in the trunk, Caroline, I have a hatch I can
so easily get to it. Um. Yeah, but that's the
whole thing too. I don't keep ice cream in the house.
I don't go down the ice cream aisle at the
(22:39):
grocery store. Like if I super duper want ice cream,
it means that I have to either go to the
grocery store and get it or just like stop by
the ice cream parlor on the way home, which it's
just so much of a hassle. Who wants to do that? Well,
And the only thing though about this kind of research
is that it definitely gives us more insight into eliminating
(23:00):
problem behaviors, but not so much into activating positive ones.
In terms of exercising. Going to those zoomba classes, Um,
I can't keep up. Uh yeah, I've never taken a
zoomba class, but I have a feeling I would. I
don't know, I got I got two left fet folks
um or you know, like learning a new language or
(23:22):
going on trips. Tho's kind of volunteering those kinds of
things that require more time. But again it seems like,
no matter what the big lesson is, you gotta start small. Yeah, definitely, Yeah,
small steps are best. This was a stressed in l
l A Times article in December. Take short walks at work,
(23:43):
things like that, things that can add up to small
successes that can add up to a better feeling of
self control self esteem, like thinking, Okay, that wasn't hard
getting up at three thirty. When you're just like head
on your desk, getting up and just taking a walk
around your floor, around your building or whatever, that eventually
leads you to be like, Okay, well maybe then I
can run a mile on the treadmill instead when I
(24:05):
get home, you know, adding up to bigger and bigger things.
And same with the same with food. Um, it's the
whole Like if you're drastically cutting everything out, like okay,
well I'm gonna go from eating like a normal average
American diet to let us I'm gonna eat nothing but
let us in tomatoes. Yeah a, that's not a balanced diet.
(24:25):
Yeah you need some frosted flakes in there. And also
remember that those glucost levels too. It means that has
a big thing to do with the food, Like people
need to to eat to be healthy to keep those glucosts. Yeah,
that's why. Yeah, that's why your crash diets are not
gonna work. That's why it has to be a lifestyle change.
And Kimberly Moffatt, who we referenced earlier, said, in reference
(24:47):
to food in particular, think of what you're adding instead
of what you're taking away. This is something I've actually
told my mother, who refuses, I don't know it, refuses
to cut back in some areas and add an other.
I'm like, don't think of it as dieting. This isn't
like your neutral system. This isn't your eating rice cakes
and being sad. This is just trying to add fruits
(25:10):
and vegetables. Maybe take away a little bacon. I know,
cut who wants to take away bacon? I don't know nobody,
but yeah, And and people recommend that you don't spread yourself. Then,
in addition to this, you want to set a single,
clear goal because, as we mentioned earlier, being overwhelmed with
tasks and half two's and must dues, it just gets
(25:32):
to be too much and you won't stick to it. Yeah.
And on that same note, I think this is really important.
Don't overreact if you have a lapse. Lapses happen if
you skip a day of running. If you eat that hamburger,
enjoy it. Enjoy the relaxation that you take from not
exercising one day. Enjoy the satiation from that burger or
(25:57):
whatever food it is, that the delight to you so much,
and then you know and keep going. Don't expect yourself
to be completely perfect right off the bat or really ever. Yeah,
And also, I mean, don't think that that burger or
that day off from running means your entire diet or
exercise regiment or whatever is off track. You've that's just
(26:18):
one one day, one burger, one whatever, a bag of
cheesey poofs, whatever, But just that just means that the
next day you're back at it, right. Um. And we
have not touched on gender at all in this podcast,
but this, this whole thing about willpower and managing stress
and keeping your energy levels up is especially pertinent to
(26:42):
women because the American Psychological Association did a pretty end
up survey not too long ago on gender stress and
sticking to resolutions and willpower and found that women may
have a harder time sticking to goals like these than
men do. And I wonder if off the bat, and
(27:05):
I wasn't able to find any statistics on this, I
wonder if just from the get go, women um might
set more resolutions, and perhaps more unrealistic resolutions. And I
only say that because I feel like as soon as
the holidays are over, the messages that we are immediately
inundated with our swimsuit seasons around the corner, ladies, Yeah,
(27:28):
drop those last five pounds out all that turkey way,
I'm going to give birth to a turkey. Um. Yeah.
It turns out in the study that both genders do
cite lack of willpower as the number one barrier to change,
but women are more likely than men to cite the
lack of willpower as a barrier preventing them from making
the lifestyle changes recommended by a doctor. And so that's
(27:52):
thirty women versus twenty four percent men. Yeah. And women
are also far more likely than men to report that
a lack of willpower has prevented them from changing eating habits. Um.
When asked what they needed to change in order for
their willpower to improve, women were more likely than men
to say less fatigue and more confidence in their ability
(28:13):
to improve their will power. And also six times as
many women say that having more help with household chores
would allow them to improve their will power. And this
was something that I was thinking about in terms of,
you know, what it takes to set a resolution and
really keep to it and make a lifestyle change. And
(28:34):
as a single woman with no kids, like being as
autonomous as I will ever be probably in my life.
Um that I could see that happening. I could say,
oh I could, you know, I could, I could do
these kinds of things. Toss a kid in the mix.
I don't know, you know, because that's that increases your
stress level. That and I'm not blaming kids for things.
(28:55):
I'm just saying that I can understand how having partner,
having a household to take care of, having children, even pets,
um my pet free, uh, all of that can impact
this brain space that it takes to really set yourself
up for success. And it also speaks to I mean
(29:18):
not to to to be uh kind of cliche about it,
but it also speaks to the importance of you know,
establishing healthy lifestyles from the get go if possible, and
maybe just using your child as a bench press. Just
bench press your child, incorporate if the child is taking
up so much of your time, incorporate the child into
(29:38):
your exercise. Gentlemen, Well, no, that is one of the
bicep curls with the child. There you go. If you've
got twin babies. Obviously auto padded surface g I c
um no. But one of the one of the tips
was just play with your kids because that knocks out
increased family time and also gives you a little bit
of exercise. So here we're here to help. Yeah, that's
(30:01):
what we're doing. Yeah, and I do think that. Um
the fact that there are so many apps out there too,
especially for people who want to start exercising more, that
will give you reminders keeping some kind of accountability something
that's often cited as well as a good thing to do.
So this this sounds like if I want to get
(30:22):
back in the resolution game, I should make a resolution
along the lines of get moving a little bit every day. Yeah,
so in going from nothing, going from walking from my
car to my apartment, take a walk at three o'clock
when I'm starting to feel tired at work. Yeah, it's
the whole thing about taking the stairs instead of the
elevator one day at a time. Like for for me, uh,
(30:46):
like I want to save money this year, and instead
of what I've done in the past of saying by
the end of this year, I want to have a
million dollars. Now, I'm not gonna happen. There's no way.
Uh actually saying okay each week. Yeah, breaking it down, well,
I've also in terms of money, like, I've also set
an amount every month that I'm going to put in
savings and never touch again, because I actually am working
(31:08):
towards a goal of buying a car, like I have
to get rid of my old, dying, noisy car, and
so I just have to be disciplined about that. But
I do still let myself go out, Sure, have a drink,
have a Hamburger, gosie, friends, that kind of thing. I
don't completely deprive myself of any social interaction that involves
leaving the house because I would go insane and then
(31:30):
I would money binge and buy all of the shoes.
So buy all the shoes now. So New Year's resolutions
do they work? Oftentimes? No, But it's just because well
not just because, but I would say largely because we
go about them the wrong way. Yeah, it's it's almost
sort of a desperation move, like, oh my god, I
(31:52):
was not responsible with film the blank, and I need
to suddenly backtrack and reverse. However, many months of damage.
Whereas it might seem hard, but in the long run,
it's easier to make that lifestyle change and be kind
to yourself. Yeah, that's a good message, be kind to yourself.
(32:12):
And hey, that still stands in keep being kind to yourself. Yeah, Caroline,
I think of all of the resolutions, be kind to
yourself is one that is doable. Yeah, we can. We
can do that, right. Sure, we might have to work
at it. You know. I think it's easy to beat
ourselves up sometimes, but just as it's important to be
kind to your fellow human, be nice to yourself too.
(32:35):
And you know what, I'm going to resolve to have
the best podcasts ever in two thousand and fourteen. Yes, So,
if you have any podcast suggestions that you would like
us to tackle in this upcoming year, now is the
time to let us know, because we have some exciting
things right around the corner. Not only is it a
(32:57):
whole new year of all new podcast topics that we
want to get your insight on, but we have the
launch of a very special website where all of the
podcast goodness will have a home. That's right, I'm talking
to stuff, mom, never told you. Website coming out very soon,
(33:19):
So stay tuned for that, and don't forget also to
send us your podcast episode suggestions for two thousand fourteen.
Happy New Year, everybody, Let's really kick it off with
some awesome episodes requested by you. You can email them
to us at mom Stuff at Discovery dot com. You
(33:41):
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(34:02):
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