Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve cameray.
It's ready. Are you welcome to Stuff Mom Never told you?
From House stuff Works dot com. Hello, and welcome to
the podcast. I'm Kristen and I'm Caroline, and you are
(00:21):
in store today for an episode of Summer Shorts. These
are somewhat shorter podcasts that we're doing during the summer,
hence Summer and Shorts, where we will be talking about brief,
fun summary or just random topics that might not warrant
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entire full length in depth discussions, because, for instance, we're
going to talk about the jazz Link today and big
surprise here, folks, there's not a lot of clinical research
on the jazz Lin. No idea why, But we've wanted
to talk about Some listeners have written in asking about
(01:02):
the jazz ling and I now have to share an
embarrassing fact about myself and no, it is not that
I have Swarovski crystals on my nether regions. No, it
is about how I don't know. Maybe like six or
eight months ago, I was perusing the New York Times
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and ran across a culture column about this British reality
television show called The Only Way Is Essex, and the
writer said that it's a total guilty pleasure but completely addictive.
You can watch it online. So what did I do.
I went home and I watched it online and I
got hooked. And it is the most they're probably listeners
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out there who have watched The Only Way Is Essex
and you can probably relate, like it is beyond fake.
Isn't it like the Jersey Shore of England? Yes, but
take it. I'm mean I can't. It's all like, yeah,
they've got the fake hands and the plastic surgery and
a lot of makeup. Um. But it's also where the
(02:10):
jazzlin came into our common vernacular. Started over there with
Amy Child, who is one of the most popular characters
on The Only Way SESX, and she ended up getting
her own spin off show. But she was a cosmetologist
who um the jazz Old other characters on there, and
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she would say, like the jazz Old, jazz Old, and
and I just kept watching. That was one of the
first episodes was of a jazzle episode. So she used
to blame well, she used to blame partially in the
UK State side, though Jennifer Love Hughett Jennifer Love Huwett,
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please please tell our fair listeners. She used to blame
for so much, but she actually coined the term over
here because she was on the George Lopez talk show
and started talking about how after going through a breakup,
she was really down and a friend decided that she
would cheer her up by vegas ling her JJ. Those
are her words, and they make me hang my head
(03:14):
in shame. But she the actual quote, which I get
ready for this, Um, you gotta we can't we We
should not paraphrase no j Love Hewett. Yeah, absolutely not mislove.
She said that after a breakup, a friend of mine Swarovsky,
crystaled my precious lady, and it shined like a disco ball.
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Women should vegas all their JJ's. I got nothing. Yeah,
So all of a sudden, there it was like WHOA,
what is vegas ling? Yeah? All these people the internet
exploded for like a minute and everybody was going like,
oh my gosh, Jennifer left. He was doing it. I
just went through a breakup. Maybe I should put Ryan
Stones on my volva now see. I think that the
(03:58):
reference of one's vagina as a precious lady. She could
have warranted more pressed than the jazz link. But for
the uninitiated out there, could you explain what briefly what
a the jasle is. Well, sure, first it starts with
a waxy. Get a wax and so you're all bear
(04:19):
your precious lady is there. Yeah, And then you get
you get a little powder softened up the area. And
then either a person at a salon will individually glue
using tweezers little crystals on there, or you can use
an adhesive kit where you where you just stick it
on there and kind of peel it off like a
like a temporary tattoo. Yeah, there are now d I
(04:40):
Y jazz ln kits you can get some of which
Amy Child's actually the only way says that she has
her own brand now of jazz kit. Well, she actually
inexplicably has a line of hair vejas link kits, which
that makes no sense. It's it's rhyme stones for your hair.
Come up with a different name because your vagina is
(05:01):
not on your head. Shockingly, Um, since we're getting a
little bit snarky about Vegas, l let's also talk about,
um a conversation that happened about Vegas, because as you
can imagine the feminist blogosphere did not wholeheardly embrace the
vejasling of our precious ladies like Jennifer Love Hewitt did.
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Amanda hess who at the time she's she's now an
editor excuse me over at Good Magazine, which is a
fantastic site. Um, but she at the time was writing
for the Sexist Column and the Washington City Paper. This
is in March, right after Jennifer Love Hewitt went on
the George Lopez Show, and she's talking with Sadie Doyle
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of Tiger beat Down Online about the jazz ling and
what to make of this trend and the question whether
or not we need to and by we, I mean
you know, vagina havers need to decorate those crotches. Yeah,
They're basic point was okay, well, what's the problem here
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if we need to decorate them, because they came up
with the point that are we just distracting from the
fact that it is a vagina. Is a vagina on
its own not good enough? Well it's not. It's not
enough to have to, you know, remove all the hair
down there. Then you have to even cover up the skin.
City Doyle said, if you need my vagina to dress
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up for this party. My suspicion is that it's not
going to be much of a party, right. Yeah. She
goes on to say that boyfriends fear the vagina, so
they have to make it look like a my little
pony with the jas line. Now, I will take issue
with the whole idea of the jazzline being a product
of men fearing the look of a bear vulva, because
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from what I have gathered from just fellows that I've mentioned,
you know, somehow vajas line has come up in conversation
or in like it does in blogs about ve jazz Link.
Usually the men are completely mystified by this. They do
not see the point. It's just another thing like women
wearing uggs. You don't really understand. Like I guess, okay,
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you can spend your money on that now. Amanda hess
though Um links it to capitalism, sexual oppression, and sexism
all wrapped up into one. And the byproduct that we
have is the jazz Link, because you know, it's the
whole thing of needing to dress up that part of
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our body and it's and it's the money maker. I mean,
the ve jazz Link services that the completely bare spa
in New York City, which was one of the places
where it took off. It costs over Yeah, well, I
mean Waxes included Christen True, it's a bargain. Um yeah.
She She basically calls it pseudo feminism because it goes
along with you know, um, like dressing provocatively or whatnot.
(07:57):
She says that it's basically achieving societal how or through
appearance and sexuality. And she says that it's using those
feminist ideals of choice and personal empowerment to sell what
sexism has already been selling. So using being you know,
because there's the argument that I mean, it's not invalid
of saying, well, it's something that I want to do,
so I should be able to do it. Is that
(08:18):
not a feminist choice? Well, and that's what a lot
of people had responded to that conversation online conversation she
had with Sadie Doyle, right, that it is a choice
and you're free to make it. Go ahead, do whatever
you want with your crotch region. But maybe you just
think about the motivation behind it. I guess yeah she um.
She talks about how the idea that femininity as a
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construct is generally marked by performance there's things that we do.
It's a dressing certain ways, putting on makeup, you know,
having crystals glued to your volva, whereas masculinity is quote
often defined by men not performing things like not shaving
all of their body here and growing beards and not
(09:02):
dressing up exactly. Uh. And they also referenced a blog
Uncrushable that was going around the same time from a
woman who was like, hey, okay, vegas ling, I'll try
it and I'll write about it. And she says she
she talks about in the blog, going to get it done,
she gets waxed. She gets what what what? What design?
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I think she got these little like a it's like
a burst starburst right above her um. You can get
an ter sign and a arrow pointing down. That's that's subtle.
But she writes, I was ecstatic with my vegas al
and that's okay, that's fine. I don't all right. But
then as the blog entry continues, something's wrong. Something's wrong. Yeah.
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She talks about this guy that she had been seeing
or she liked or something, and he hadn't been paying
her that much attention. But when she told him on
the phone that she'd gotten this done all of a sudden,
his attention is. She gets his attention. She gets his attention.
He says, well, he okay. So she's like, hey, do
you want to see this? It's like and so she
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shows it to him and apparently he just takes a long,
hard look and she quotes him. Maybe she was Maybe
this isn't a direct quote, you know, but according to
this bogger, he said, it's mesmerizing. This is probably the
longest I've ever stared out of vagina. But I don't
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know who that says more about. But yeah, I mean
I feel like that goes into that explains maybe hess
and Doyle's whole thing about you know what, is it
just frightening to look at? Otherwise? Is it like a
Christmas tree? You know? He needs some ornaments in order
for it to like be okay, I mean, who wants
(10:57):
a plain Christmas tree? Um? They a do mention that
you can buy this thing. It is actually on the
website called a butterfly markin which I laughed because I thought,
there's no way it's really called that, But it is,
and it's it's a huge, it's a significant I'm I'm
pointing it's like a significant butterfly on your huha. And
(11:18):
it was sold by Coco de Mayor for a hundred
and five British pounds, which is still a lot of money.
I mean you two dollars us. Good version, right, not
so good? But I like the description because they said
that not only can you get the rhinestone butterfly, you
can also combine it with sparkling nipple tassels to create
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a burlesque inspired This is a quote beauteously enticing ensemble,
So forget new shoes, beauteously enticing. And I hope that
for who whomever is the recipient of that uh nipple
tassel and butterfly merkin combination, that the first two words
(12:01):
out of his or her mouth is beauteously enticed as
you sash it forward. And they smoked their bubble pipe.
But okay, we're talking all about like, oh ladies, the
jazz ling, precious ladies, I should say. But there was
also p jas ling. And that is exactly what you
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assume that it is. It is penis plus the jazz ling,
you get p jas ling. But it's not actually on
the penis, correct, correct, it's the it's the around the
on the groin around the penis, like making a lot
of awkward hand gesturing a lot. You can't really see it.
But this was also made popular by by another British
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reality TV star Mark Right. He was He was also
a star on The Only Way Is es Sex. These
Essex people love colas, They love crystals all over their
body um and his favorite were the red lips and
the iron cross patterns to those are tough, but didn't
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Christen sent Melink, a guy at BuzzFeed, went and got
some jazz link done and they showed again. They was
it's not like it's on the penis, it's not like
it's even really that close to the genitals. Really, it's
sort of on their bikini line. And they showed a
picture post wax. It was filthy, it like corross. It
was the picture of wax strip with the hair and
(13:25):
hair on it. But the way he described it, he
was like the world's terious for a roll up and
I had to scroll past that really fast. Yeah, that
was recently done by BuzzFeed editor Gavin Lessig. He got
to jazz he seemed very relaxed, though he was he
was clearly drinking a lot of wine in the podcast. Um,
so we've talked about how Yeah. I mean, I think
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a lot of people would agree that the jazz link
p jazz ling seems like a ridiculous thing. I mean,
if you want to do it on a lark. We're
not saying don't do it. Um, it's just it's it's
a strange trend that came directly out of reality television,
which is odd. Um. But what about the health issues?
Because if you go and get a bikini wax, a
lot of times your esthetician or cosmologists will say, you know,
(14:11):
you need to take care of it very specifically for
a few days to prevent bacterial infection because you've got
all that open skin. Isn't such a good idea too
then immediately glue something onto it? Not really well? Time Magazine.
Time Magazine interviewed Oh b G I n Dr Susanne
Meryl Natch to ask that very question. Yeah. She she
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seemed surprised by the question. This was at the dawn
of the jasslink, so perhaps she had not heard of it. Um,
but she said that, yeah, it's probably not a good
idea to apply glue and crystals to raw, freshly waxed
skin because that could actually increase the risk of infection
that you already have by getting a wax, by trapping bacteria,
and recommend that you give it time to heal first. Yeah,
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so you should get your wax, wait a few days,
then go back. Can I be profendic something you get
your butterfly imrkin um. But she does say because this
this has come up, the idea of you know, will
these crystals come off, especially if that beauteously enticing get
up leads to some hanky panky will the crystals come off?
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Doctor Merrill Natch said it's unlikely the crystals should make
their way to the urethra or the cervix and cause
harm before a woman would notice, So that kind of
health has it. It's not really the crystals themselves getting
into a place that they shouldn't, but more at that
risk of bacterial infection. She does point out that she
doesn't think it would be comfortable to bump against yes,
(15:42):
to put it to put it o y in. Yeah,
so clearly, Caroline and I find the the jazz ling
thing a little bit silly, and it's as far as
a trend goes, I don't know that it's so much
you know a ton of people rushing out to do
this than just something that's fun to blog about. But
(16:05):
you know what it's time for. We want to hear
from you listeners. But jazz Link, p jas link, has
your partner done it? Thumbs up, thumbs down? Would you
do it? Have you done it? Let us know and
no pictures If you okay, We'll take your word for it. Mom.
Stuff at Discovery dot com is where you can send
that email. And since we've been talking about reality television,
(16:29):
I've got a letter here from Shelby and its response
in response to our episode on Addiction where we talked
about addiction reality shows, addiction theme shows UM, such as
Intervention Um. She writes, I have to say I'm a
huge fan of Intervention. Well, there we go, and sometimes
even stream stream it on Netflix. I'm not proud of it,
(16:52):
but I think this guilty pleasure, which may also be
similar to some of my friends addiction to sixteen and pregnant,
has something to do with a slice of life of
someone who may not have their life as an order
as our own. I admit it is very indulgent, but
as a young as young twenties, some things who are
consumed with our work, lives and trying to become adults.
It comes as kind of a relief to realize that
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it could be worse. When I watch it, I don't
take pleasure in others misfortune. In fact, most of the
enjoyment comes from seeing them overcome their obstacles. I'm not
sure what this says about our culture as a whole,
but I do know that those of us enduring what
is now being called a prolonged adolescence could stand to
be a little less self centered, even if only for
the length of an episode. So thanks to Shelby, and
(17:37):
thanks to everybody else in advance for writing it about
the jazz ling and p jas ling and uh only
way as s expands out there, let me know your
favorite characters. So mom Stuff at Discovery dot com is
where you can send your emails, and of course you
can find us on Facebook and tweet us at mom
Stuff Podcasts, and you can get smart during the week
(17:57):
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