Women and ADHD

We think of ADHD as a disorder impacting boys - and that’s a problem. Bridget and Emilie unpack why.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Emily and and you're listening to stuff
Mom never told you. Today we are tackling a topic
that is near and dear to our hearts as usual,
and we really learned a lot through the research of

(00:28):
this one, because today we're talking about women and a
d h D, which I mistakenly called a d D
for many, many years, Um, but come to find out,
a d h D is the proper way to talk
about the mental disordered formerly known as a d D exactly. Uh,

(00:49):
but we're really excited to talk through why. On so
many levels, gender plays a huge role in the diagnosis
of and treatment of dealing with a d h D
and really how women experience this in with very different
symptoms than our male counterparts and are amongst a huge
population of people who were getting diagnosed more and more

(01:12):
um and being treated with medication for a d D
like at skyrocketing rates right now. Yeah. And I think
what's so interesting about this topic is that I feel
like it's one of those things where everyone knows someone
who this impacts, like whether it's you or a friend
or a family member. UM. I was diagnosed with a
d h D when I was pretty young. Um, it's
not something that, uh plays a huge role in my

(01:34):
life as an adult. But I think I've mentioned on
the show before that my mom is a pediatrician, and
so she was very, um, you know, particular about our
seeing doctors and specialists. We were the family that like,
if you coughed, my mom like had a doctor. I'm
a hypochondriac, so I wish I had that my mom
and nurse was like, if you're not hemorrhaging, you're fine,
and I'm like, no, let me go to all the

(01:55):
special us. Um. But yeah, So I was medicated pretty early.
I think I was in like eighth grade, and I
was on medication until around high school, when my parents
were like, you know, you're getting to be older now.
If you want to stay medicated, you can, but if
you want to wean off of it, you can do
that too, And that's what I chose to do. Wow.

(02:17):
So if you've been off that medication, yeah, I've been
off of it since like late high school. Um. And
you know, I think I had a little bit of
a rough time getting like getting out of high school,
like that was really tough for me. Um. But I
feel like as an adult, like it's just I have
my like means of coping that that seemed to work. Well, yeah,

(02:37):
and that's a big part of research found, right, So
let's wow. I'm I'm fascinated by your take on his
bridget because I had no idea coming into this topic,
um that you had such a personal connection to it.
So so walk me through. Let's let's sort of go
back to the very beginning. And see, I always thought
of a d d h D is something I associated

(02:58):
with hyperactive voice, right, and so that's very common and
so with uh so boys. You know, one of the
things about a d h D is that it tends
to be diagnosed by like teachers and like grade school
and the teachers because of that, like they have a
real association sometimes with like hyperactivity being something that is
an issue for a little boy, and so you know,

(03:19):
and then like in the seventies, when a d h
D and a d D was first being studied by
psychiatrists and like mental health professionals, it was really like affluent,
um middle class white families who were taking their their
particularly their sons in diagnosed for this, and so subsequently
we really think of it as a little boys disorder.
And then like it's a disorder that we associate with

(03:40):
boys and with male nous. And one of the reasons
why that is so telling is because for women and
for girls, the symptoms look very different. And so you know,
the expression like the squeaky wheel gets the grease, Like
if you're in a classroom and you're a teacher and
you're seeing like, oh my, my little boy, students are noisy,
either out of their chairs, they're hyperactive, there are probably
going to be the ones that get focused on. Meanwhile,

(04:02):
the girls student who is has the same disorder because
it presents itself different and it manifests itself in a
different way that doesn't look like, you know, fidgeting or
being impulsive or being disruptive or whatever. That student is
more likely to sort of go through the cracks. With boys,
it's you know, a d h D manifests itself and
like hyperactivity, impulsive behavior. For girls, it's much more likely

(04:26):
to look like scattered, disorganized, unfocused but correct quiet, like
internal exactly over their own habits and stressing out. And
that is like completely me when I was that was
like completely the kind of kid I was growing up.
But girls are much more likely than boys to develop
like these internal coping mechanisms of like trying to keep

(04:48):
it all together, and so it is is like a
sense of internal silent struggle and just trying to keep
it all together until you can't write. And that that
sounds like such an isolating and scary and anxiety provoking
way to go through your diagnosis. And it's just it's
challenging to me because I think of girls and women

(05:10):
as the more communicative gender in a lot of fronts.
But the research here says that women are less likely
to be diagnosed because quote, as girls, they just don't
look like what people think of when they picture a
d h D. This is according to Dr Jerry Marco,
and really this is exactly the experience that my little
sister had, which was internalizing those symptoms as being personal failings,

(05:37):
like really saying I am just lazy, I'm lazy, right
like women, According to the research, women are much more
likely to negatively internalize tommade h D as like, oh,
I'm a failure. And I do think that like plays
into how we think about you know, gender in general,
that like women are supposed to be, you know, have

(05:58):
it together, to be organized, more likely to be type
more likely to be multitasking and juggling. Women have a
reputation of being the more organized gender totally, and that
totally disconnects for women dealing with a d h D
or little girls dealing with it. And I think it's
I mean, it's just one of those ways that like
gender complicates, like like using that lens of gender really

(06:20):
complicates what these what these women are going through, what
these young ladies are going through, because you know, we
we as women, we put such high standards on ourselves
and like, you know, you have to be the perfect way,
look the perfect way, at the perfect way, all of that,
and it's just one more way that like that lineup
thinking just like fails us. Yeah, it's it's much more
nuanced than that, definitely. And what I found really fascinating

(06:42):
here is that symptoms of a d h D increase,
I'm sorry, decrease for boys as they grow up into men,
but the opposite is true for girls. So these girls
who might have developed coping mechanisms throughout high school and
dealt with it in one way or another through college,
when there is some semblance of structure in our lives,

(07:05):
um often experience greater levels of anxiety and stress and
depression and really the symptoms of a d h D
as they grow up and their roles expand to encompass
things like balancing relationships, staring for children, and trying to
keep it all together at work and at home. And
you know, me, I'm obsessed with the whole work life

(07:26):
balance conversation in this tree and how flawed it is
on so many levels. And this really opened my eyes
to the ways in which, you know, mental health needs
to be a bigger part of the conversation as well. Yeah,
I mean, I think that's that's so true. And I
also think in terms of like how lives are structured.
When you get to be about your mid twenties as

(07:46):
a woman, that's when you start to have a lot
of your you know, a lot of your like big
life milestones, and it's it's those are the um and
those are the milestones that really play into things like,
you know, time management organized, and it's like if you
have these coping mechanisms that really help you get through
the structure of college life, you know, living on a dorm,

(08:08):
all of that, when you graduate and you start to
sort of hit these other milestones, that's when these things
can really fall apart, and a lot of the women
who deal with a d h D later in life
just describe it as like, you know, I was coping,
I was holding it together until one day I couldn't.
Did you feel um? I think I did. I think
I I felt that way in some in some respects.
I think for me, my biggest thing is that like

(08:30):
kind of like what you were saying earlier, like I
always just thought, you know, I'm just really disorganized. I'm
just really um, you know, someone who was like a
little bit flighty like I. I kind of like thought
of it as like a personality, And you know, I
think that it was helpful knowing that I had a
d h D, like pretty much since I was really young,

(08:50):
was really helpful in terms of like not internalizing it
in a very negative way, because like I just knew,
like you know, I've been seeing a neurologist for a
very long time, and like, yeah, it just it just
wasn't something that I because it was such a something
that was so you know ingrained in me from an
early age. It was not something that I had a
lot of, like negative feeling. I learned to not have

(09:12):
negative feelings about right, which I think is a really
healthy way to develop your sense of self with without
being so critical. I've got a question about the diagnostic
Can we talk about that first, because I was just
talking through um this situation with my little sister who
is less than a month into treatment for a d
h D. So she just got diagnosed, and I asked her,

(09:35):
and I think we can talk more about the judgment
that comes with medication in a second. But I was
talking with her about her perceived judgment there and she
mentioned really quickly how she got diagnosed, and I said, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Take me back to that, because there were questionnaires, there
were quizzes, there were a visual response test, there was
like hearing response tests, and they were they were really
there was a very robust um diagnostic being used by

(09:59):
her d h D specialists she went to to diagnose
this um. But as we came to find out in
the research here, even that very nuanced and clinical diagnostic
tool has a gendered component. Definitely, yeah, definitely. You know,
it's like anything else I feel like, because it's so

(10:20):
kind of like tilt skewed towards men and boys. It's
like women just sort of like can easily fall through
the cracks. But I think that's true for heart disease stress.
All the stress research, all of the research is done
for like, for lack of a better word, like male
bodies and like women are just and it doesn't mean
like we understand why that makes no sense when it

(10:41):
comes to physical ailments, right, Like women's bodies are different
than men's bodies, you know, etcetera. But I think it's
harder to wrap your head around it when it's something
that's not physical. Right. Oh, good point. I wonder if
folks in the medical field listening to this can tell us, like,
is there a movement towards sample size being gender split?

(11:01):
Like can we start taking research in the direction of
only using test samples on like people that are both
male and female? And I would argue, like along the
whole spectrum and then by any folks, Yeah, I mean,
I think that we should do that, And I think
that like it's I feel like this is gonna be
one of those things where I mean, and I'm no

(11:22):
doctor to like write it. If I mom in here,
we'll have a call in Dr Toddy. She would you
guys would love her? She no doubt, but no so
I think that, like, I wonder if this is going
to be one of those things where later we realize

(11:44):
we've done We've done bodies a great disservice by like
discounting them and letting them, letting their issues, their particular
like medical and emotional issues kind of like go unstudied
in a in a in an individualized way. If that
makes sense, I totally it does. And so what we've
ound here is that one criteria of a d h
D UM Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, which was published by

(12:07):
the APIA, the American Psychiatric Association, one of the criteria
for diagnosis was that symptoms appear by age seven, which
is true for boys and totally not true for girls,
for whom a d h D tends to manifest in
the term in the form of the symptoms we discussed
later on in life and especially as estrogen levels increase, right,

(12:29):
which is correlation between a d h D symptoms and
estrogen and the totally and so with boys, it's I
think that we that plays totally into how we think
about it, because the idea is that like, oh, a
boy will like quote grow out of it, and in fact,
that line of thinking is doing a great disservice to
these these young ladies and women who are like in fact,
growing into it. Um, and so I just think it's

(12:49):
it's kind of interesting, and I want to get more
into sort of how a d h D looks and
women and the sort of skills that women have to
deal with that, and I think that we should do that.
After a quick you were just talking about the symptoms

(13:09):
of a d h D and how they manifest themselves
in women and girls. And again, I mean, this is
a topic that we both have such personal ties to,
and I think um port of knowing that has been
sort of an interesting way to frame this discussion. That's,
you know, it's researched with him, but it's also very personal, right.
I hope that's coming through at least, because I really
just witnessed my little sister go through this from a distance.

(13:31):
She's in her she just wrapped up her first year
of college at Smith Um shout out to smith and
and it was really hard to watch as her big
sister from afar as she was struggling academically and struggling
to keep it all together in an environment without the
structure that my mom and dad have provided previously, and

(13:54):
I have to say, like, I'll be the first to
admit that I had a little bit of judgment because
I had trouble relating to my little sister's experience when
she would say things like I'm just lazy, I'm just
just organized, and I'm thinking, I'm you know, you're just
addicted to your phone, like so many of us are,

(14:14):
um that when you know, I, I definitely am part
of the problem in terms of women who face judgment
for I don't want to say coming out as a
d h D, but like we're seeking treatment and asking
for support, and I think it's a testament to how
brave my little sister really is and how fiercely independent
she really is to say she took charge of her
health she like really made it a priority, which is

(14:37):
part of the challenge here, right, because if you're not
feeling super capable of being organized, like making your health
care a priority takes the organizational skills, so it's very meta.
But she made that a priority. She got a real diagnosis.
It took months, and the doctor that she was working
with for the diagnostics said, well, what's your g p A,
And she said, I have a three point three at
Smith and he's like, why are you even here? Well,

(14:59):
that's the best because so that's textbook, right, Like that's
so common. Um. There's a really great article in The
Atlantic Um where the writer UM comes to Basically it's
all about how she got diagnosed, and she says that
when she told her friends that she had a d
h D, they basically laughed at her. And this is
what she says. She says, of course her friends said,
of course you don't have a d h D. You're smart,

(15:19):
A friend told me definitively before switching to a farm work.
Compelling topic medication, So you're gonna take adderall and becomes
super skinny? Are you gonna sell it? Are you going
to snort it? And so it's this idea that like
it's one of those things that for women, if you're
at a good college and you get good grades, people
think that you can't like you Yeah, well yeah right,

(15:40):
I see you're saying. They assume that you feel organized
exactly exactly. And so for me, I mean, I got
decent grades in school and I enjoyed going to school,
and that like because of that, it seems like like
it must all be fine. I must be very together,
but people don't see the internal work that it takes
to perfectly that it looks very like different externally and

(16:03):
that's exactly and I feel like that's so gendered. I like,
you know, never let them see sweat. And I think, um,
it's a it's a disorder that I think folks can
feel a bit judging about because it's like anyone can
show symptoms of having a d h D. Look if
you've ever forgotten your keys or missed an appointment. It
feels like it's very over diagnosed. It feels like it's
something that like, oh, people are like, oh, I have

(16:24):
a d h D, give me drugs please, like performance
enhancing exactly exactly, And like, you know, there's certainly a
pop culture um pop culture thing where it's like, oh,
the overachieving um female, Like I'm thinking of a fever.
Watch the show Community, the character of Annie, who like
is super you know, organizing together, and then like later
it's revealed the reason that like, you know, clearly she's

(16:46):
a high performer, but the reason that she's at a
community college and not like Harvard is because she has
a d h D. And that when she was in
high school she got really really into her a d
h D medications and like flunked out. And so this
idea that like girls or women who are who get
a d h D medication and seek treatment one that
they're sort of like just falling back on this like
very convenient diagnosis, the crutch, and then to this that

(17:08):
they're getting drugs to abuse them. And certainly I think that, like,
at least in my college, um, abusing a d h
D drugs was like a very common thing college. Like, yeah,
it was like a very common thing. But that doesn't
mean that like if you are someone who is like
seeking treatment for this and needs it medically, that like
you should be associated with folks who are like taking

(17:29):
it recreationally or like don't actually need it, which I
think does a disservice to those who do need it.
And I think it's time we all check ourselves on
that a little bit, because putting this episode together really
helped me check that bias, because it's it's hard to
understand what someone else is going through in their own mind.
And that's when I asked my sister to describe the

(17:50):
before and after, and keep in mind just less than
a month into her treatment, but I said, tell me
what it felt like before, And this is not something
I had asked her before because I was looking for
visible symptoms. I was looking for, you know, failings or
external validation for her diagnosis. And instead what I should
have been asking her, and thankfully this podcast episode helped

(18:12):
me do so was well, what was your mind experiencing?
What were you feeling like? And what she told me was, frankly,
it just felt really noisy in there. And I had
a lot of open tabs all the time, and I
wasn't just thinking about one thing at a time, ever,
I was thinking about lots of different things at the time.
Now with medication, it's like night and day, whatever I'm doing,
I can at least zoom in on that one tab,

(18:35):
focus on one tab that like shout out to your
sister for that like beautiful description, because that's exactly what
it is like. Having a d h D is sometimes
can feel like like you know, when you have way
too many windows open Chrome, Like it's like that, like um,
and it's interesting. I mean like again, it's so internal
that it's like easy to not see what it looks

(18:56):
like from like from the outside of someone like you know,
your sister is a good college. It's very easy to
be like, Oh, she's got it all together. And we
have to keep in mind that this is a serious
disorder that can in many ways snowball into more serious
problems from a mental health perspective. And I thought this
quote was really important for women and girls. Quote. Women

(19:17):
with a d h D are more likely to internalize
the negative experiences associated with their a d h D,
and many report feeling that they're broken, flawed, or stupid.
Girls with a d h D show higher rates of anxiety, depression,
eating disorders, self harm, and suicide attempts as they move
into adolescence, and women who have gone undiagnosed are more

(19:39):
likely to have experienced divorce and unemployment and to suffer
from poor self concept. So we have to be more
empathic when we're talking about a d D, d h D,
whatever you want to call it, especially when it comes
to not judging our female friends and family members who
might be suffering with this. So we're gonna take a
quick break. When we come back, we're gonna list off

(20:01):
some of the warning signs to watch out for. If
this episode is resonating with you, We're gonna show you
sort of a checklist to keep in mind. Um, that
might make you want to go talk to a professional
about this, But we'll be right back after a quick
word from our sponsors, and we're back, and we want

(20:26):
to talk through some of the warning signs to watch
out for, questions to ask yourself if you think that
you or maybe someone you love is maybe silently suffering
with a d h D, which they don't have to
continue silently suffering with exactly. I mean, that's my whole
point is that if you feel like you're feeling overwhelmed,
or you feel like you you this sounds like you,

(20:46):
like you can take your mental health in your own
hands and sort of prioritize dealing with it. Yeah. Um,
And so this is a little bit of a checklist
from Attitude magazine on some ways that folks with a
d h D are feeling. And so I just want
to be a couple of them. And if it sounds
like you, I would encourage you to, you know, talk
to your medical health professional and you know, do some digging.

(21:07):
Do you feel overwhelmed in stores, at the office, or
at parties? Is it impossible for you to shut out
sounds and distractions? That don't bother others. Is money, paper,
time or stuff dominating your life and hampering your ability
to achieve your goals. So I just want to pause
there because like, for me, it's interesting how it manifests
itself because it looks so different for so many people.
But for me, it's like um, like paper, like physical

(21:30):
mail I cannot deal with, Like if I don't open
it and throw it away right away, it will pile up.
And it's like exactly exactly that's what my little sister
described you. Is this inability to pack. She talked about
packing being extraordinarily stressed. Packing is because like having to
start something that feels so unwieldy and impossible was overwhelming. Yeah,

(21:52):
and I gotta say something again, like I'm gonna get
into this more in a little bit, but you know,
I hate it when people have these sort of like
dumb qute ce like well this helped me, but something
that really, yeah, I'm gonna get into it again, like
don't don't like write it and be like, well that's
a dumb idea because this worked for me and like
is something that I found very therapeutic. And if it
doesn't work for you, cool because it might not. Um,

(22:14):
but something that really helped me kind of like deal
with that. And this sounds ridiculous, but cooking. So but
I like something about the idea of having to like
plan a meal, look at your fridge and be like
I have X, Y, and Z, I want to make
this recipe and I need you know this, that and
the other, having to plan that out, go to the store,
get the things on that list, plan on a block

(22:36):
of time. Like it's almost it's so therapeutic to me.
It's almost like a meditative exercise because it's like I
have to and again, I mean, the stakes are so
low that if I mess it up, like the biggest
thing that happens, I have to order repeat that the rear. Yeah,
that's actually happened to me. I once burned chicken and
a slow cooker, and I was like, if you know
you could burn things when a slow cooker like scorch it.
I came back and I was like, I have been

(22:57):
bragging all day about this meal I was gonna cook
and I was like, wait, it's completely scorched, and so
I felt so ashamed. Um. But yeah, So something about
cooking and having to do all of the time management
and like budgeting that goes into cooking a good meal,
like a full meal. I have found a good way
to sort of practice, you know, dealing with time and

(23:18):
stuff and being a little bit organized. And it's a
it's a bit of a great feel like it's like
a muscle that you can develop. That's how that. I
mean again, this is just me, so you know your
mom me very but like, yeah, I do feel like
that when I like when I have a stressful day
and I feel like I've had a day where like
I had, you know, everything got away from me. I
didn't answer any of the emails and any of the calls.

(23:39):
Like when I go home and cook a meal, something
about that makes me feel in control again, right, Like
I like it. It reminds me like I can do this.
I can like look at an hour and be like, Okay,
this has got to go in by this time to
eat at that time. Like it's like a reminder that
I can do it. I appreciate your Instagram food post
now more than ever. And I also want to say

(23:59):
that we have opinions on the kinds of advice that
women dealing with a d h D ten to sometimes
get to. Is this why you hate that book that
how to like clean exactly exactly, So like I have
a problem. I feel like women are given such particular
advice when they are dealing with like real stuff, and

(24:20):
I feel like the feelings around clutter. Yeah I am.
I am a clutter bug. Like I if you see
my apartment, like it's really cluttered, and like this idea
of like, well if you just tell you it up
your apartment, you would feel better. Like is that Japanese magic?
What is it? The life changing magic of Tidying Up
by Marie Condra? That thing went crazy? Are you looking

(24:43):
at that book and being like I hate that. I
don't like it. I don't like it. And I just
feel like we like, there's nothing that bothers me more
than when someone is like, oh I have a legit
medical issue or emotional issue and someone's like, have you
tried Jasmine Ta? It makes my blood boil. So I
want to give up big caveat that. Like, in researching
for this show, here are some of the things that

(25:04):
I have found from actual, you know, medical literature that
says can be a good um way to deal with
it if you're feeling some of the symptoms of a
d h D. But I want to say, like, it
annoys the crap out of me when someone is like, oh,
I'm dealing with like clinical depression and they're like, have
you tried to yoga? I would never get advice. Hey,
chemical solutions are also valid. I think what we're trying

(25:26):
to say here is, you know, if you feel like
any of those questions resonate with you, if you feel
like this is something you're really struggling with, do not
do this alone, like, go talk to a medical professional.
But often what medical professionals will tell you, according to
our research, is that the focus isn't necessarily on curing yourself,
but on finding what strategies effectively help you mitigate the

(25:48):
negative impacts or manage your symptoms. And I think I
think for some people it's it's medicine, for some people
it's therapy, for some people it's meditation, like and any
combination of those or something else is fine. Um. And
so some of the ways that they that they suggest
our mind full activities like yoga meditation can often be

(26:09):
helpful in terms of inducing calm and focus on the mind.
Physical exercise has been shown to be extremely helpful and
regulating mood, energy levels, and concentration. And there's also evidence
suggests that diet and nutritional supplements may have an impact
on a d h D symptoms. Um, but as yet
most studies are focused on children who are not really
sort of like doing those things, and that's just sort

(26:29):
of something. There's a lot more research that we need,
especially on millennial women or older women, women in their twenties,
thirties and beyond, who are integrating holistic solutions totally. And
I've got a question for you, So, when you decided
to deal with these symptoms without medicine, like what coping mechanisms.

(26:51):
Clearly meal cooking is definitely part of that, but like,
have you found diet, exercise, meditation, any of those things
that three to be to be integral to this. Yeah,
So when I made the choice to to wean off
of medication, really it was because as I was getting
this was you know, in high school, this is what
I was sort of getting more interested in the arts,

(27:12):
particularly like like writing and things like that, and the
medication I was on was very helpful, but I found
it was very difficult to um feel like a like
a creative person, like I've always felt very creative, but
I felt like being on the medication was had a
had a had a great impact on me um in
terms of being more organized and more focused, but it
had a negative impact on me feeling like I was

(27:34):
like a creative person. And so as I got older
and got more interested in like the arts writing, I
knew I was heading to college, and I knew I
was going to be, you know, hopefully doing those things
on college. I thought like, I really have to find
a way to deal with this. But it's not just um,
there's not just medication. And again there's nothing there's no
shame in being on medication, Like it just wasn't It
just did not feel like a good way to cope

(27:56):
for me. And I also sort of thought like I
didn't love the idea of being on medication for the
rest of my life, and it started to seem like
that was the direction in your head. Correct And so yeah,
it was things like therapy was been tremendously effective shout
out to shut therapy. And also just like having a
very very long term relationship with a great neurologist because

(28:18):
I had the same neurologist since I was like eight
years old, and even when I was in college and
not on medication. We would still check in whenever I
was home, and so like just having that that person
to talk through how I was feeling with um, you know,
and and sort of also what mean like to be
honest knowing that I could go back on medication if
that's if that was a choice, and so being able
to really have this like arsenal of ways to cope

(28:40):
was tremendously helpful. Choices are nice to have, and you know,
being personal with your solution important because there's no size
and there's no one size fits all solution. I have
a I have a very dear friend, UM Alison, who
has just now been medicated for a d h D.
And she is probably the funniest person that I know,
and she kind of makes she's kind of professionally funny,

(29:01):
like she wants to be a comedy writer, lives in Chicago,
And when we talked about this, I was like, you know,
do you ever worry that aid that your medication is
going to make you not funny anymore? And she was
like I did, but honestly, it's only made me sharper,
more focused, and so it's definitely like your milege may vary,
Like it depends on your you know, your own body's reaction. Also,

(29:23):
our hormones change over time, are you know, neurology changes
over time, So even what works for you and your
twenties might not work for you totally. So it's something
to think about. But I would hope that you know,
if this episode resonates with you, if you are finding
yourself feeling disorganized and cluttered and overwhelmed, and that overwhelmed

(29:43):
takes up a lot of mental chatter for you, um
to really consider, you know, taking your mental health care
into your hands, as Bridget said, and making it a
priority to go talk to someone about this because it
might not be you. It's not your personality necessarily, Like,
there are lots of ways in which anxiety, depression and
the symptoms that can also come with a d h

(30:05):
D can really add a burden to your life. You
might not need to you don't need to shoulder And
like again, if this sounds like you, You're not lazy,
you're not stupid, you're not bad, You shouldn't. I mean,
that's one of the things about a d h D
is the is the shame and stigma, Like you're not
a crappy human. You just you know, have a medical disorder.

(30:26):
It's like anything else, So take the time to to
seek out professional help see if that diagnostic works for you.
And mental health professionals out there, let's update that diagnostics
soon so we can make sure that unconscious bias based
on research that's been dominated by men and boys doesn't
creep in UM and miss really important symptoms that show

(30:47):
up differently for women. I think I think that's pretty
much what we had to say about a d d
h D. A lord you think by now I wouldn't
say a d D, but that's where my brain goes
right away. So if there's nothing else you take away,
let's all stop saying a d D along with me.
And we'd love to hear from you on this. So
we would love to hear if this is something that

(31:08):
resonates for you, if you recently got a diagnosis of
a d h D, how are you dealing, how are
you coping, how are you managing your symptoms? And let's
make our conversation online a safe space where we can
connect and we can share resources, and we want to
really hear from you and your experience UM on off medication, whatever,
has worked for you. We'd love to hear from you,

(31:29):
so send us an email at mom Stuff at how
stuff works dot com, shoot us a toe wheet. We
love to see what you have to say on Twitter
at mom Stuff podcast, and as always, snap a photo.
Find us on Instagram because we'd love to chat with
you there at stuff mom Never Told You