Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's topic time. The phone called eight hundred five eight
five one oh five. Want to join it to the
discussion with the Breakfast Club. Talk about it morning, everybody
in CJ and V Charlomagne the guy. We are the
Breakfast Club. We have Porsche Williams here and we're talking
open relationships. Now this conversation comes from Omnia. Now Moni
(00:24):
said she's done with open relationship. She don't want to
have it no more. So we're asking does this work?
Have you ever been in open relationship? Never? Never, It's
don't work for me. No, No, I ain't gotta ask you.
Charlo Man, I know no, I've never been in an
old relationship. I don't even know anybody who's ever been
in one. I'm interested, though, because you know, um, it
seems to be working for some people. But I wonder
is it really all right? Well? Oh, you know what,
(00:45):
I do remember somebody telling me they were in an
open relationship. Did they say it on the show? I
don't think they sit it on a show, so I
can't name them, but she said it didn't work out,
and it was on the show. They was on the show,
and they told me that they had She told me
they had been an open relationship that two men, or
she dating and he dates. She wanted she was with women. Okay,
she was with women, and she wanted to continue to
(01:07):
be with women, and so they ended up make an
agreement to continue to do that, and it didn't work
out because, you know, I think she started to get
emotionally tied with the other woman and he couldn't take it.
He didn't like it. He thought it was just gonna
be sex, and so they had to stop just having sex.
I think most I wouldn't if I would think most
men would be cool with that. Like, my wife's got
(01:28):
a girlfriend, you know what I mean, when it's not
what she'd fall in love with her. Now when you like, okay,
wait a minute, you really like this person. That girl
can do stuff with her tongue that you can't do. Well,
let her teach you. No, no, she can't teach you. Now,
you can't learn what a woman could do for a woman.
Most African men like to be with more than one woman.
Oh hold on, now, it's hold on that. It's a
(01:50):
religion thing. And my husband is Christian, so you know,
depending on what their religion is, that maybe what they follow,
you know, but no, not necessar s not all right,
Let's go to the phone line. Hello, who's this Nie Agelannie?
Now tell us about your situation. Yours is very interesting, Yeah,
y'all actually a couple of years ago. Um, but I'm
(02:13):
probably I've been in an over relationship but officially for
about eight years with my husband. But we have been
living together for the last eight months with my other partner,
who I've been having an a betrothed part of lation
process with. I have another baby. Is it a man about?
That's the same thing. It has to be two two
black berries men? Yes, two men. So you have two
(02:35):
men living in your house? Now? Yeah, we all live together,
but we live we have our own bedroom, so you know,
in secred spaces at home. We all live together. So
how do you decide which man you sleep with it
each night? I sleep by myself. I didn't get a
camera over the house. Did they run on you? No,
it's not called team. It's definitely not gonna bad. No,
(02:58):
not at all. We've never even anything together in that way,
Ain't she sounds like the I choose complete whoever, I
choose completement, even if it's downside of the house. Is
all ethical. I'm honest about I'm not there. Why y'all's
going on? Because the first can the first my coolthd
my children's hired because I'm Polly. But I met this
(03:19):
person right after my toothors hired. For the past three years,
we've been together. But now I want to have a
chiwl with him. He doesn't have a child. Oh so
that's why you want to have a chowder with him?
And what about the first husband. Did y'all talk about
having a yowl together? We have two beautiful children, Okay,
so you want to have one for the for the
new husband. Why do you explain? Y'all cheering? Y'all got
too daddy, go to daddy, think kind of woods, Yeah,
(03:44):
and whole bunch of love. Some kids ain't got no daddy,
so at least they got two, daddy. What you're gonna
do when you come on? What you're gonna do when
you come home one day and you're gonna find both
of those What you're gonna do when you come on
one day? What you're gonna do when you come on
one day and find both of the men in bed?
Why why you go there, ignorance? I'm not asking, I'm not.
(04:10):
I'm not mad at her. You tell you gotta take
it there, But see, I'm not mad at it because see,
most men, when you think of like an open relationship,
this woman is the goat all right because she has
actually managed to have two men. So she got her
first husband to agree with her to have another man.
Most of the time men say, yeah, we canna have
an open relationship. Yeah exactly, And that's where I have
(04:30):
the problem. My husband, my husband, they sell outside of me,
my partner, they here and there, um, so they have
the capacity and the ability to date whomever they want to.
But I'm good, I'm good. They don't have to know
outside of me as you know as much as too.
So what about when the new baby comes? Are you
gonna want more commitment from the second guy? Like? Why
(04:52):
can't y'all just be polly? What's it called? But I
am polyamorous, but I don't lack commitment right now? So
what about can they have other women? Yeah? She said, yeah,
in relationship outside of me right now? But what if
she get pregnant? Now we got babies everywhere? How he's
going to pay for He's had an affect to me.
We're smart about this we've been doing it for a
(05:13):
long time. I got a headache. She said, they're smart
about it. Now, thank you, mama, Ray. That is wow,
I just got a headache. That's a headache. If she
would have if she would have stopped that, this is
I got my first husband, right, I brought my second
husband and we three are in a relationship. That's it.
We have a commitment. That's I can't understand it, but okay,
(05:36):
I got it. But when you say you got three men,
two men in the house and everybody's still sleep with
everybody outside of the house, that's a lot. That's a
lot of sound ties going on. I don't I don't
even know how she deal with that. Jesus, Brittany, good morning,
good morning. How are you? I'm good. You were in
an open relationship, I was what happened? Um, so basically, yeah,
(05:58):
he and I were dating, but I didn't really care
about like the occupation. If there were things that he
was doing that just didn't really fit what I was
looking for. So I wound up finding my current boyfriend
while I look in a relationship with and I left
him for that relationship. Damn did he know about it?
Did he know that you were still dating. Yeah, he knew.
(06:19):
I told him when I met my current boyfriend. See
that's and that's the problem. See, you date one guy,
you find somebody that's better, and now this guy's cool
with you dating, and then you leave him. But I
don't really know if that's considered an open relationship, because
open relationship, in my mind, what I thought the definition
was we're committed, but we sleep with other people, but
we are still always gonna come back home. Well that's
(06:40):
what she did, but she didn't come back home. She
was dating, and sounds like he was dating. It was
dating too, but we just I wound up finding somebody
who made more sense for me or what I was
looking for, and it no longer made sense to be
in that open relationship and continue on. This is everybody's fit.
This ain't fair. You know what I'm saying. I opened
the door a little that we supposed to be doing
(07:00):
this together. You leave me and move on, right, I'm
saying that ain't right. That's called monkey bar. That's holding
it on the one bar, that's one relationship and hanging
on to another one and then letting that one go.
That's what it's called monkey bar. Exactly. You learn that
the relationship expert down physical movement looking stupid like a
little bige monkey. White, little little white monkey, right monkey
(07:26):
five one, five one. We're talking open relationships? Are you
in one? Hasn't worked for you? Let's talk about it.
It's the breakfast Club the morning, call me to the
breakfast Club topic five five one, wanting everybody in d
(07:49):
ch n V Charlemagne the guy. We are the breakfast Club.
We got poorshit williams our co guest host this morning,
and we're talking open relationships. Now, this comes from Monique,
who says she's done. She does want to open relationship anymore.
So we're just asking, are you in one? How is
it working for you? Hello? Who's this? Hi? Hello? Hello?
(08:09):
I asked anonymous? Okay, anonymous? We got your name? No, yeah,
we definitely got your name, but we wouldn't have gonna
say Amberley, thank you. I was in an open relationship
and a half a year and our treement was essentially,
if we're gonna sleep with anybody else, we're gonna let
(08:30):
each other know ahead of time. Now, I never slept
with anyone out talking my relationship, not because I don't know.
We can do what let me? I just didn't want
to on three different occasions, and they two and a
half years. I found it a month after the fact
that he had gone to sex parties and essentially had
four names. Oh da. So when I mentally decided that
I was done with a relationship, I met another man
(08:52):
and who I actually wanted to be with. And a
month after me and him began a relationship, I told
this other guy, Hey, word relationship. I've met someone else
and had this relationships and he was begging to be
with me in all this, and I was like, well,
you wanted to be in an open relationship, and now
the open relationship with the nail in our coffin, Lord
(09:13):
have mercy. Now that's a real open relationship. Yeah, thank you, mama.
That sounds like the movies I used to watch. What's
the movie? The twave movies? They don't end well. I
ain't seeing nobody have an open relationship in the end.
Well yet. Hello, who's a Hey? This is Jayton, Good morning.
Stay's my birthday and rest in peace? Thiggy, Hey, it's
(09:35):
bow Wow's birthday too, and Chinky too, Hey, happy birthday?
All right, what's your what's your story? BROBM, So I
was in an open relationship. Um, and my parents are
in an open relationship, and my sisters in an open relationship,
and let me tell you say where y'all live at? Um?
You know, I think seeing in an open relationship is
(09:55):
an opportunity to select your communication skill and really learn
about yourself. Um. But ultimately, whoever your your main partner
is your main squeeze, you really need to dedicate all
of your energy towards them as well as finding out
about yourself. So in a way, it's a way to
get stronger in my opinion, how old are you? I'm
(10:18):
twenty four today. Oh so his parents are like our age.
So your parents, your parents, your mom had dudes in
the house. I mean they do now, not when I
was a kid. This is more of a recent thing.
How do you look at the other dudes that's um
tapping your mom's cheeks? Jesus? I mean, I personally, the
(10:41):
way the way I grew up, I don't, I don't
really see it like that. You know, they're adults. I'm
an adult now, so like, whatever whatever's happening on their side,
it's really none of my business. You know. That's true?
So did you start having your relationship because you knew
your parents were doing it. So it's like a normal
thing for y'all because now it's gonna generation Huh. I
(11:02):
started with the open relationship and they followed you. Oh son,
he means now now, no, I'm sorry I miscommunicated. Yeah, now,
so you so you date? I guess you have a
relationship with a I don't want to be assump assumphious
man or woman right that I had a previously, I
(11:23):
had a relationship with a man and a woman. Okay, okay,
you just greedy man. But what what did you say
to your parents that made them want to open their
relationship after all these years? Because I'm assuming they've been
married for twenty four years because they still together. Now,
what did you what? What'd you say to me? Open
relationship sound so good? Well, it's my it's my dad
(11:45):
of my step mom. So I you know, I just
kind of showed them, you know what it was that
that made me happy and that made me and my
little throat are happy. Um yeah, And and they I
guess they just realize, you know, they need to deflect
there their communication and such with each other because they
(12:06):
were struggling so your dad likes that men too. Yes,
it sounds to me like everybody. It sounds to me
like everybody's exploring their shadow side. And I think that,
you know, it is hard to communicate your shadow side,
but if everybody is, you know, dealing with their shadow
side side, the shadow side is just like that that
I don't want to see the darkness, because dark ain't
(12:26):
the right world, but just those things in you that
you may not speak to anybody else about, those desires
you may have like this, you know what I mean.
His dad clearly wanted to be with men. He probably
never feel like he could talk about it. Yeah, he's
in it exactly, so not in him and his wife
can talk about it. It just opens up the communication
even more so. You so you took your dad out
with you and turn your dad out so he was
(12:47):
able to see that. Wow. Yeah, yeah, you don't let
him tell you to turn your daddy out. He didn't
turn his daddy out. His daddy been out, okay, he
just was in. Yeah, I mean yeah, it just sounds
like everybody in this house is exploring their shadow self,
you know. And and to give the technical term, it's
when you are it's the uncivilized even primitive side of
(13:09):
your nature. And we all have a shadow what's yours?
What's your shadow side? Um? What the parts of myself
that I DM unacceptable? Yeah, that's if you could do it,
If you could approach your wife and say, this is
what I want to do, and my wife talk about
the type of what I'm not sharing that with the world.
Why we're not sharing something that you should keep to yourself,
(13:33):
having like a shadow side to something your shadow self
to realize that's part of you. Yes, but you have
to you have to accept that. You have to accept
yourself because if you don't, you're denying yourself, even the
bed part that is very true. In order to my
shadows side, I'm interested And the way to find is
(13:54):
you pay attention to your dreams and nightmares. You use
shadow work prompts in a journal to understand your core
belief thoughts and feelings. You talk to your therapists our
counselor about the things that bother you, and you look
for patterns of behavior that you don't that you don't
like in yourself. So when do we get the indulge
in our shadow self? Like, when do I get to
do these things? I'm gonna find out. I don't even
know if it's the thing you indulge in. It's just
the thing that you might want to communicate, because those
(14:16):
are the things that make you feel bad, right right,
But that don't necessarily mean you're a bad person just
because you think about these things. So who are the
people in your life that you could talk to about
your shadow self and they don't judge you? Okay, you know,
probably your sister, Okay, you know, maybe I don't know.
I'm just asking, like, I don't know what my shadow is.
Is it connected to sex? Is it like, oh, I
think about murdering people? It might be all of that.
(14:37):
Oh yeah, I think the world knows your shadow? What's
my shadow self? What's my shadow th we got rooms
on the way for I really don't have a shadow,
but you do. You admitted that you just don't want
to tell you. I've explored it. I don't have a show.
Like your listeners know you well enough that they can
(14:59):
probably tell you what your shadow self is. I would
like to know, yeah, I would five eight five one
or five one. I think you know shout, but only
a psychologist can tell you that. I think you know
Charlemagne's shadow side something that he really wants to do,
but it's scared to let it out. Yeah you think
you know that. Let's help him reveal his true self.
(15:20):
We got rumors on the way in the moral of
the story from this open what's the boy with nobody
up here? The moral of the story. That don't sound fun.
I thought y'all gonna make it sound fun. No, don't
sound like nothing. I want to try. I'd rather just
we're gonna stay. We're gonna those marriages stay married. That's right,
stay married. That's what you mean. Absolutely, we got rumors
(15:40):
on the way. We do. We have some rumors coming up,
and they are really good, So make sure y'all stay tuned.
He's gonna say tires. That's what I'm saying. It ain't
wrought me now, made it up. We're talking tires. When
we come back. It's the Breakfast Club, come morning, the
Breakfast Club.