Ahead of her new YouTube documentary Dancing With The Devil, Demi Lovato wants to set the record straight about rumors people may have heard about her. During an episode of Diane Guerrero's podcast Yeah No, I'm Not Okay, the 28-year-old pop star confronts "common misconceptions" about her past drug abuse.
The first misconception Demi debunked is the idea that "if people are using drugs or if they are dealing with an eating disorder or self-harm that they want to die." For her, Demi says the opposite was actually true. She claims her addictions actually "stopped me from dying."
"In the same way it almost killed me, it saved my life at times, because there were times that I dealt with suicidal ideations," Demi continued. "And had I gone forward with that in that moment, instead of another destructive coping mechanism, I wouldn't be here to tell my story. I turned to those coping mechanisms because I genuinely was in so much pain that I didn't want to die and I didn't know what else to do."
Demi said she did the "best that I could at times and now that I have other tools and other resources" after seeking treatment she now knows "how else to deal and how else to cope so I don't have to resort to those behaviors again."
The 'Sorry Not Sorry' singer also opened up about why she chooses to so candidly discuss her struggles with mental illness and substance abuse publicly. She said that when she was growing up, she didn't see any celebrities being honest about the reality of their lives. "I would look at people in the media and I would just compare myself, not feel good enough, not feel thin enough, and wonder how it was that these people were living lives that seemed so perfect but yet I was in so much pain," she said. "And when I got into the spotlight, I was like, 'Oh, it's not perfect here, nobody has a perfect life, it just looks that way.'"
As a celebrity herself, Demi wants to "break that facade for Hollywood" for her own fans. "someone's gotta do it because we're presenting unrealistic expectations to people by only presenting our best selves at all times," she said.
"I've tried on many identities over the years—the sexy feminine pop star that I felt like people wanted me to be or the poster child for recovery—and now I'm embracing the fact that my lack of commitment to any one identity isn't a lack of commitment," she concluded. "it's just an openness to continue to evolve."
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