Raising kids to have a good relationship with money is a challenge, but Bobbi Rebell, author of Launching Financial Grownups, says that giving children and teenagers space to learn from their own financial decisions plays a crucial role in how they develop that relationship.
“You can’t make your kids something they are not going to be,” Rebell said on the How to Money podcast. “You can guide them, you can tell them how it is going to play out, but there is only so much you can do. They are not you; they are your children. They are going to live their own life.”
The author explained to hosts Matt and Joel that parents need to advise kids and teens on money situations but shouldn’t rush in to bail them out every time. What Rebell calls “concierge parenting” leaves parents drained with kids who grow up relying on someone else to bail them out financially.
“Their perception will change when it's their own money,” said Rebell. “It’s important to just listen to them and just let it be. It is their money, and you have to let them do stuff even if you don’t understand.”
As an example, the author told the story of her 25-year-old stepdaughter who was living in their home in New York during the early days of the pandemic. She had just started working virtually and decided to buy annual passes to Disney World in Orlando, Florida with her boyfriend.
This decision by her financially smart child threw Rebell for a loop. However, even though she didn’t understand why her stepdaughter would buy annual tickets to a theme park 1,000 miles away, she realized it was important to her and left it alone.
“The epilogue in my book actually defends the annual passes,” Rebell told the hosts. “I would never do that because we don’t live in Florida. But for her, it made total sense. It was she loved to do; those experiences are important to her.”
To hear the entire conversation about navigating money relationships with young kids, pre-teens, teenagers, and adult children, listen to “Cutting the Financial Umbilical Cord with Bobbi Rebell,” on the iHeartRadio app of wherever you listen to podcasts. Matt and Joel release new episodes of How to Money every week, subscribe to hear their latest financial discussion.
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