Selena Gomez Opens Up About 'Psychotic Break': 'I Don't Want To Be Alive'

Selena Gomez is opening up about a "mental breakdown" she suffered in 2016.

In her upcoming documentary, My Mind & Me, which is set to drop on Apple TV+ on Friday (November 4), it is revealed that the "Lose You To Love Me" singer went through a "scary" time which eventually led to the cancellation of her "Revival" tour in 2016.

"At one point she's like, 'I don't want to be alive right now. I don't want to live,'" Selena's former assistant Theresa said in the documentary, according to Page Six. "And I'm like, 'Wait, what?' It was one of those moments where you look in her eyes and there's nothing there. It was just pitch black. It's so scary. You're like 'F--- this. This needs to end. We need to go home.'" Longtime friend Raquelle added that Selena would hear "all these voices in her head" that were getting "louder and louder," which eventually triggered a "psychotic break."

What's more, Selena's mom Mandy Teefey said she found out about all of this from TMZ after her daughter said "she didn't want anything to do" with her mom.

Gomez was then diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was admitted to a mental health facility. "I didn’t want to go to a mental health hospital. I didn’t want to, but I didn’t want to be trapped in myself in my mind anymore. I thought, 'My life is over.' I thought, 'This is how I’m going to be forever,'" she says in the documentary. In Selena's cover story interview with Rolling Stone, which came out Thursday (November 3), she said she might not be able to have children due to her bipolar disorder. "Her need to remain on the two drugs she takes for her bipolar disorder means that she likely won’t be able to carry her own children — and 'that’s a very big, big, present thing in my life' — though she’s convinced that 'however I’m meant to have them, I will.'" the article states.

Two years later, the "Hands To Myself" singer suffered another mental breakdown after her "white blood cell count plummeted from complications" from lupus, Page Six reports. She was admitted to the hospital, but tried to rip out her IVs and demanded she was released. Instead, she was admitted to a psychiatric facility on the East Coast where she received dialectical behavior therapy, "which focuses on teaching patients mindfulness, healthy communication and behavioral patterns, emotional regulation and how to better respond to negative events." This break came months after she completed two weeks in rehab for depression and anxiety.