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October 1, 2018 16 mins

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
So let's get into the fifteen minute morning show podcast.
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What would you talk about on your on your podcast?

Firm Presents show? It is the fifteen minute morning show podcast.
Welcome Um. Is the Brooklyn Boys podcast beating this one
in numbers? Yet? I think it is? I think I
think it's not on purpose. It's just I have no

problem with with the Brooklyn Boys podcast having more numbers.
I know feedg Ham isn't beating it well fed to him.
You can't really hear it because you know, some didn't
put his microphone on, like they're having a real problem.
Because they posted the audio for the new fetch Am
then they deleted it. But most of the platforms they
posted on still say it's up. So we keep getting
text messages saying I can't hear the episode. It says

it's there, but it's not there. Well, at least we
know we have people that want to hear it. There
you go one time or another, maybe we'll be there.
Probably not. All right, Well, okay, so you know we
we have an entire family of podcasts. You can listen
to The Brooklyn Boys is awesome. I listened to the
I'm All Caught Up and they were renting and Raven
this past week about a freaking can of grape soda. Yeah.

I know we'll get into that, I think, either on
this podcast or on tomorrow's big show. So we have
a special guest on the fifteen Minute Morning Show podcast
from Why one hundred in Miami Fort Lauderdale. It's Frankie
plays Awkward You and you're like, well you do it? Okay,
So Gandhi, Yes, let's uh. Frankie p has been a

friend of our shows for a long time and he's
a sweetheart of a guy, and so he's up just
visiting New York this week. But let me ask you
a question, Gandhi, Yes, when you had the opportunity, when
you're flying out of the town where you were working,
would you go to another radio station in another town?
Most likely I would not. I mean, don't you need
to vacate away from that kind of thing? Yeah, get

away from it, don't walk into it. He scary is
the opposite scary on vacations. He'll go to radio stations
on every city that I go to. I am like,
you know what, I want to visit this cluster of
radio stations because I'm a radio nerd from way back
nerd Daniel, would you do that? Of course? The only
one I would want to go to the capital or
something in England. But anything else, I know, I don't

even want to come here when we're not on vacation. Um.
I went to and went to Nashville, and I know
there's so much to do there, but I'm like, wait
a second, they're on Music Road, the the I Heart
radio station cluster. I gotta go say hello to them, man,
And I did. I went for a tour. You and
I went to the Nashville cluster with Elvis a number
of years ago. That was all years ago, but I went.
I went back again last year on vacation. So, Frankie,

here you are in New York City. It's New York
fucking City. You could be out there and doing New
York City things. Okay, talking literally, just said that. I
feel like I risked my life to go buy those
donuts for you guys. I had to walk two blocks
from the Roxy to the Dunkin Donuts and back. I
thought I was gonna get kidnapped. I was gonna get
I don't know, I was gonna become a slave of

some sort in another country. You're too old to get kidnapped,
but I don't. I still look like a child though.
That's the thing. If he looks like he's like hold on, So,
people who don't live in New York City, you really
truly have this thought that New York City is a
dangerous place where you're gonna get kidnapped or you're going
to be sold on. Yes, with slavery and rats that
like pick up pizza, Sally, you're sold on the dark web.

No painting picture. You're painting a terrible picture for people.
But that's what we see outside of here. I don't
feel okay, So were you when you moved here? Gandhi
or you're still moving here kind of. I mean, did
you have any sort of fright for this city more
so than the city where you lived? Oh? Absolutely? I
mean Boston is super safe place, and I feel like
every story starts with either a man in New York

or a Florida man. Yeah. I just and to here.
There have been like two different directions, right, so I'm
at the corner of these two streets. One way is
super safe and beautiful and nice. The other way it's
a little sketchy, and people were touching my hair. I
didn't like that. When you moved here from California, l A.
You weren't afraid to move to New York. Frankie is frightened,

uh and a Gandhi frightened. I've only felt unsafe here
probably one time. I was walking to work at you know,
five in the morning, and as I passed this stoop,
this dark stoop going to a building, some guys stepped
out and started walking behind me. It's kind of weird.
So I just crossed the street and then he kept
on his own merry way. I don't even know if

he was, you know. So, in other words, I've never
I feel safer in New York City than any other
city in the world, really, because I know, I know
it really well. I guess we've been here so long,
but I do have to havemit one. I went to St.
John University in Jamaica, Queens, and most people that went
there were from the area, but I was from the Bronx.
And the first thing someone asked me when I introduced

myself and said, the Bronx, do you have a gun? No?
I like, but right away. So there are all these
stereotypes of where it's true, and for many years the
South Bronx especially was known as as being a dangerous
place for people who didn't live there and for a
few people who lived there. But anyway, so Frankie, it's okay.
We're a nice people. You're nice and safe. Great. I'm

just still terrified. And then when I try to get
on the subway, I get lost and it's just the subways.
Yeah what what bros? A map? How do you get
lost on the subway? I still get lost? Colored lines?
You just follow the too many lines. Oh, there's too
many beaches in Florida. That's like, I get lost on
the beach them on. But wait, I couldn't we go
back to scary. He said, Oh, yeah, I do too.

What did you take the subway? Sometimes I do, but
the map is like, it looks like spaghetti. If I
want spaghetti, I'll go to Italian restaurant. But anyway, New
York City can be a bit much. I get it, Gandhi.
I get it, Frankie. But I'm to the point now
where I'm ready to spend less time in the city.
Not because of being frightened, but because it's so loud.

It's in every every fragging street has construction. It's just
it's it's exhausting. It's a pain they has to live here.
Is it normal to feel like claustrophobic? Like sometimes I'll
be sitting in a cab and I'm looking out like
there's just walls around me. What am I doing? Like?
How do I get out of this? Well, you're used to,
you know, being at the beach palm trees. So how
can we make you like Gandhi? How can we make
you more comfortable? Me more comfortable? Well, the first thing

would be if I could find a place so I'm
no longer homeless, that would make me very comfortable. And
aside from that, I think I just need to get
my pepper spray back that t s A took from me. Okay,
And I saw a store where I can get it.
Not too far, really, I think that's illegal. In New York.
There was like a whole store so like we sell
defensive sprays. I was like, well, I'll come in. Well,

I think that's a canal street, so let's knock off cologne.
Now they're excellent offensive sprays like glade. I don't know anyway,
straighten eight. Yes, you've heard of the incredible uh Larry
the Lobster. I've connected to my boyfriend sa fiance's foot

the midst and tales and legends of Larry the Lobster.
So scy okay, Larry the Lobster, okay, s scary. Where
where were we when you were attacked by Larry the
lobs We were riding on a bus. I think we
were going to Philly. Wherever we were going, I don't know.
And I was just minding my own business and all
of a sudden, Larry the Lobster, which is basically a

thumb toe and the toe next to it, clamped down
on a part of my body. I forgot where you
got your arm? And he wouldn't let up. You're talking
about feet right now? Taking about the feet Elvis's boyfriend Alex.
That is Larry the Lobster. Are the lobster the front?
It is the thumb toe and the toe next, the

two of them together like scissors. Could he could chop
not chop wood, but he could he could cut through
sever wood. I mean he could cut down a tree
with his freaking foot. The reason I bring up Larry
the Lobster is I was a victim of Larry the
Lobster this weekend? Is that him? Hi? Hi, how are you? Hello? Hi?

You're on with Oh my gosh. A room full of
people were doing the fifteen minute morning show podcast, so
you can say whatever word you want. Oh fuck? Okay,
So I'm telling the story about Larry the Lobster. When
did you discover that your foot had the power of
a like some sort of industrial vice. Ever since I

was a little kid, you know, I could pick things
up with my beat and yeah, I don't know, but
when did you start using it as a weapon? I
guess what I was said? Did you ever think of
running away with the circus? Uh? Actually guess an hour ago,
Larry the Lobster boy. Okay, So I mean, have you

ever seen bruises? Because I think scary. Remember that time
we were on the whatever the bus and you Larry
the Lobster hit Scary he had a bruise. Did you
ever see how bad that bruise was? Yeah? I did
that the iway stay right, we're on a bus. I
left left the mark. Yeah, that wasn't very funny because
telling them I was a victim of Larry the Lobster
this weekend. And I don't know if I feel very

very good about where heel back my toe nail just
a little bit so shop and then use it like
the nutcracker. Nutcracker. We don't want to experience that. But
what he's saying that it's not only can he get

you in the and bruise you with the vice grip
of his toes, he can also slice you with a
little with a little shivs sticking out of his toe net.
You know, I'm just asking, this is the guy I'm
to spend the rest of my life with. I don't know.
I don't know. You'll be protected in many ways. No
one expects to get hit with a vice script from
a toe. Does he walk around with like flip flops

all the time, because doesn't he or does he be like,
hold on, I gotta take my shoe off and then
get you with my Yeah, at least a gun slinger
has a holster. Yeah, well, you don't have any retaligation.
You have to come up with something. I don't know
what the thing is. When he when he when he
uses Lardy of the Lobster on people, they fall to
the ground and they can't they can't. They pet themselves strong.

He is really this is a great party trick. You
guys should like have have him go somewhere like how
much do you think you can lift with these toes?
It's painful? All right? We just want to call and
talk to you about Larry the Lobster. We'll let you
go now, all right. Oh, I did tell the story
about how last night we had salmon ready to cook
and then we saw that that show on the Food Network.
We ran to the store and made the emergency chicken.
It was delicious, right, all right, We gotta go by

so cute. I don't know this, So back to you, Frankie.
Back to Hugh Gandhi afraid of New York City and
we're both from the same part of South Florida too, Yes,
both Pembroke Pines. What South Florida? It was Miami with
a guy uh the bath salt and eight the other
guy's face off. That doesn't happen in New York. I
feel like it does. You just don't find out about it. Yeah,

all right, Well, so advice from people who have been
in New York their entire lives. Brody from the The
Brooklyn Boys podcast with Brody and Scary than what advice
do you have for the newbies here in New York?
I always say when you walk down the street, you
should walk like you're driving a car. Stay to the right,
don't stop short, keep moving. Also, never look up. Do
you want to admire a tall building, look at it
from a distance or on Google google the building right

what you don't want to do. And when you go
up and down staircases like on the subway, stay to
the right, even if you could easily run up the
left side, don't do it and you'll be fine. Just
don't get in our way. And we're very nice. People said,
Oh gosh, when tourists get in my way drives me.
I love it when tourists are opped and then they
start to walking in. They start walking backward before they
turn around and they walk right into You're like, don't

pull out their big maps, And I'm like, who has
a big map anymore? Like that? Like put on your phone,
don't you don't and don't have your phone out, just
like doing selfies and stuff and facing up at the buildings,
and that's what you do all day. Try not conspicuous about.
Here's what you should do. If you're an American tourist
in the world, you have an American phone plan, don't
ask me for directions when you're holding your smartphone, because

I'd be happy to give anyone directions. Foreigners come here,
they're like, where's Canal Street. Oh, I'll take your right over.
I show them in great directions. When you have a
smart phone with Google Maps, you know, or whatever map
you programm you use, open your phone, look at the map.
You should not have ever need directions ever again. If
you have an American phone plan in America, when you're walking,
see which way the dot is moving? Yeah, because just

like I just look at your freaking phone. Okay, the wait,
but you guys are talking about what happens during the
day let's say it's this morning. It was five o'clock,
still kind of dark, and so Frankie was afraid to
go to the dunkin Donuts, which is at the corner
of Canal and Uhal. Sorry, and you were afraid to
go over there. This is a really safe area, but
you felt uneasy here. Feel sketchy, man, people looking at me.

Here's what you do. Be deliberate everything you do, all
of your actions, all of your emotions. Just like confidence,
I know what I'm doing and I'm not scared. You
don't need slagger, just confident. Just be like like you
have a place to go, Like put your eye on
the bull's eye, like you're New York focus people. Are
you paying attention to Absolutely, I've been doing this. I'm like,

if I act like I'm from here, They're just gonna
think I'm from here and not mess. You've had a
lot of New York experience. I feel yes. So so
why are you still a little still a little intimidated
by a little village. If there's something weird in the
world that's gonna happen, it's gonna happen to me. Are
you one of those? Are you a problem magnet? Yes,
I am a problem magnet, which makes you think maybe
I'm the problem, but I acknowledge that it happened, so
I'm just kind of like on guard. Do old men

strangers come up to you and just hand you their
dentures of nowhere stuff for no reason? I mean, are
you like that kind of person that attract the nails
the wolverine claws on our fingertips. One great piece of
advice that I learned over the course of five years
is where headphones no matter where you go, because then
people won't ask you questions. Okay, but then I think
I think so, because then you can hear the stuff

going on around you. You have to be aware. You
have to be aware somebody can bug you and you
don't hear them coming. But here's the thing. You don't
even have music in the headphones because I'll just wear
headphones so people don't even bother me because if they're,
you know, asking for money or something like that, just
headphones never slow me down. And I know that I'm
attracted to be both headphones. I pulled them over first.

All right, Well, anyway, Frankie, be very safe while you're
enjoying your New York City experience Ganda you as well
for the next how many years we have for a while,
so hopefully it's tomorrow. On the Big Show, which will
be the Tuesday of the October two show, we got
to talk to Brody about how he stole a grape
soda from a Chinese restaurant and steal it. It's all
about a perspective. My perspective was I didn't steal it.

I listened to the Brooklyn Boys podcast You're an asshole.
I am an asshole, but I didn't steal the sup
That asshole did not steal the sofa. It's not for
coming to see us. The fifteen minute Morning Show

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